What I learned in a family medical emergency

As much as we make plans and think we have everything carefully mapped out, life has a way of throwing us curveballs.

I was excited to anticipate a trip to visit my father for the holiday weekend. We had not seen him since Thanksgiving, and now that the entire family is fully vaccinated I envisioned a nice drive to Philadelphia on Friday, where we’d spend a few days enjoying relaxed conversations over delicious meals, take short excursions to lovely places, and I would have ample time to reconnect with my father and sisters.

What happened instead is that on Wednesday my father was rushed to an emergency room with frightening symptoms. We left for Philadelphia early Thursday morning and spent the next 5 days with him in the hospital.

A robust 95-year-old, my dad is amazing. I am glad to say that he has pulled through a complex set of events, and should be able to return home soon.

While it was a far cry from the visit we planned, I am deeply grateful for the wonderful care my father received, and that we were able to be with him and my sisters.

I am enormously grateful that with COVID vaccination rates high, restrictions at the hospital were partially lifted, so we could be with him and confer directly with his doctors and nurses. And there was far less worry about exposure than there would have been even a few weeks back.

And I am grateful for all the ways my family pulled together to look after him.

Sometimes we get unexpected reminders of important life lessons

When everything goes according to plan, it’s easy to take a lot for granted. I appreciate that some important insights I’ve integrated in my life in the past few years came into even clearer focus this week.

These are at the top of my list:

• No matter how carefully I plan (and I plan a lot!), remaining flexible is a must. I was able to do that this week.

• No matter what happens, staying present and responding with a clear head is crucial. Happily, I was able to do that, too.

• Help is always available, and reaching out for help is always a good idea. I reached out for and received so much meaningful help that supported me this week, both emotionally and practically.

• It’s possible to stay positive in the face of uncertainty. That outlook helped me to be resilient.

• Frightening emotions don’t have to derail me. I can feel them, work through them, stay present and persevere.

• Self-care helps enormously when life gets challenging. Good nutrition, staying in a comfortable hotel, and getting ample sleep made each day easier.

• Love is powerful, and the best medicine.

What do you need to do to be ready for the unexpected?

If life throws you a curveball out of the blue, how do you think you will be able to respond?

I know that my journey of personal development over the last decade, that led me to becoming a coach, bolstered my internal resources immeasurably. I was able to cope and move through the stresses of this week in ways that would have been much harder for me years back.

If you want guidance about how to build a solid foundation for your best life, email me and we can make a date to talk about what’s in the way for you now, and what’s possible, too. Or you can schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me directly — click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

There’s a superpower you can claim today

On Saturday night I returned from a 3-day retreat that fired-up me up with energy and inspiration! The energy of that time away, in the company of a great leader and truly remarkable people, carried me though the weekend and is lighting me up as I’m heading into the week.

While energy was a theme we kept coming back to in the big work we did together at the retreat, it is something I am always aware of.

And energy is an important focus of my coaching work.

The energy you bring to everything you do matters more than you may realize

Think of something that makes you feel excited, full of energy. What do you love to do that lights you up?

That feeling is what my coach and mentor calls feeling “energy-rich.”

She believes in creating a business that is centered on doing what is energy-rich for you, and steering away from things that drain your energy. (That said, there are things we all must do that are not in our sweet-spot for high energy. In those cases, planning to get help will lead to success with more ease.)

Because when you focus on the things that are energy-rich — whatever they are for you — everything is easier, goes better, and is more fun.

And, the energy you bring to everything in your life works the same way!

Your energy impacts your outcomes

Living and working with a focus on a mission or purpose gives you a head-start on bringing good energy to your tasks each day.

But even then, we all have challenges that pull our energy down.

The first step is to notice when you feel “energy-poor,” then identify what’s pulling your energy down.

Rather than muscling ahead while feeling low, see if you can make it a practice to pay attention to how you are feeling. When you pause with intention and notice that your energy is lagging, you can explore the reason your energy is low.

You might want to use my Discovery Dozen™ tool (it’s provided in many of the exercises in my book, Live Big, and can be adapted in countless ways) to get to the root causes. Or you can start by considering questions like these:

Did you have a bad night’s sleep, or eat poorly?

Did you slip into comparing yourself to someone, or feeling like an impostor?

Do you doubt your ability to do a task or project well enough?

Are you feeling afraid? Of what?

I always suggest that you jot down the thoughts that come to mind as you answer questions like these. Writing by hand, and exploring the reasons, can accelerate your clarity.

Next, look for ways to shift back to a more positive energetic state.

If you can rectify something with ease — like eating a nutritious meal, or taking a nap, or walking around the block — by all means start there. Maybe you will want to place a call to someone who believes in you, who can remind you that you have done hard things before, to give you a boost of confidence and love.

And it’s always helpful to reconnect to why this task, or project, important.

Why did you choose it or say “Yes” to doing it? Why is this conversation, or project, or effort important? Why does this matter? The answers can be a great way for you to find good energy.

And if you consider the why, and realize there isn’t a good one there —maybe you said “Yes” just to please someone or avoid conflict, or you realize this is not meaningful for you, or you realize you can delegate the task to someone else, or maybe it is not aligned to your integrity — you can make a new decision. Saying “No” may be the decision that brings you back to a high energetic state.

Your energy can be a super-power

When you focus on staying in a state of high energy, and learn to feel the feelings and restore your energy when it flags, you will notice real shifts in your life.

Remember that the energy with which you create anything will impact the quality of what you create! Because when you are fueled with excitement, motivation, purpose, and joy, everything that you create will be enriched!

Why not start every day with the intention to be aware of your energy, and to stay as energy-rich as possible?

This is one practice anyone can do, and it can become a habit. After a while it can become as automatic as brushing your teeth each day.

Can you imagine feeling energy-rich throughout your body? I invite you to embody that feeling!

Right now, consider what the rest of today can look like with that awareness and intention. Now get started and see how it goes!

I’d be delighted for you to email me or leave a comment to let me know how you experience magic in your life when you focus on feeling energy-rich each day.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you struggle when things go south?

As much as we strive to do our best and steer our lives with intention, it’s inevitable that we experience setbacks, disappointments, and failures.

The feelings we experience in those situations can range from annoyed to frustrated to crushed.

And it’s in those moments that fear and doubt can take over.

So, how can you respond instead?

Ask yourself this question:

“Where are the gifts?”

Even the most challenging situations can offer us gifts.

The pandemic we have lived through comes immediately to mind, but life is frequently messy. We lose people we love. We get fired from a job or lose a major client. Relationships fall apart. Project outcomes fall short.

When there are big hits, or small events that don’t go well, we have the opportunity to choose the lens through which to look.

When we look for them, we can find gifts, both small ones, and often bigger gifts.

Here are some gifts to look for

When you look for the gifts in any situation, you are oriented to the positive, and that helps you feel better in the moment. You can see opportunities and possibilities. Your energy shifts in ways that turn any situation around faster.

The gifts can be small and subtle — and those are terrific.

You might consider posing questions like these:

• What lessons can I take away from this disappointment or failure?

• What opportunities might be opening up, that I can see now?

• How can I appreciate kindness that was offered to me?

• How can I appreciate and celebrate the ways I took a risk, or spoke up, or created something in a new way, or helped in a situation?

• What new ways to work, or connect, or create, or think are possible now?

• Where has space opened up for things I like or want to do, such as cooking, getting outdoors, playing an instrument, learning something I’ve been curious about?

• What if it’s possible that new and better things will soon be coming, that I cannot even see right now?

Can you envision how referring to this list of questions could help you steer clear of an emotional nose-dive?

Any of them can help you shift your perspective, support you emotionally, and help you move forward in a more positive way.

Consider how you can use these ideas each day

We always have the opportunity to view our circumstances with fresh eyes and choose the way to move forward.

Even in small moments when you find yourself feeling let down or disappointed, think positively and consider that good can lie ahead.

And think creatively. Because we can create all the time.

Consider that in every moment, and with every choice we make for what to say or do next, we have a creative opportunity.

Leave a comment to share the ways you have chosen a positive frame of mind, and created your way forward when challenges have shown up in your life.

And if you want to talk about how to bring more creative activation into your life, to move beyond what limits you, let’s talk. I’d be glad to help you gain new insights and perspectives on what’s in the way, as well as what’s possible for you. Click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you ready to slow down and love your life more?

If you are like me, you may have a tendency to do a lot.

I get excited about new ideas — I generate them all the time. I love learning new things. I like to help people. I take on a lot and often have a calendar without much white space on it.

And, more and more these days, I find myself yearning for space — space for quiet, rest, yoga, time outdoors in the glorious spring weather, and more time in my studio.

I realize this is just what I urge my clients to do — make space for themselves to be quiet, to think, to rest, and for self-care of every kind.

Richard Bach’s well-known quote is “We teach best what we most need to learn.” My story certainly illustrates that!

Creating space to slow down and be is life-long work for me. (That’s why the first chapter of my book is Slow Down and Be Still. It’s the foundation for living big!)

And, messages about doing too much, and a desire to be clear and intentional, keep coming in for me lately. The universe is sending me wisdom in many ways.

Here’s one way I am making more space for myself now

I recently remembered that a few years ago, thinking about this same challenge, I created a To-Don’t list. And, I made a companion To-Do list. Each had three key questions to guide me.

I am pulling them out again!

Why not use these tools and see what happens for you?

Here are the questions to consider for what goes on your To-Don’t list:

• What can I defer?
• What can I delegate?
• What can I dump?

Here’s the key to what to put include on your To-Do list:

• What gives me energy?
• What brings me joy?
• What keeps me out of trouble? (After all, some things must be done.)

And, I have decided to add two new criteria for my To-Do list entries:

• Is it fun?
• Will it move forward something that is really important to me?

I am determined to defer, delegate and drop as much as possible, and not add anything to my to-do list that does not match my new criteria.

(And if you, like me, have found to-do lists hard to manage, I just started to use an app that I really like. The free version of Remember the Milk is great.)

This quote is helping a lot

This brilliant quote was recently shared with me:

“I am working toward a time when everything brings me joy.”

It was attributed to Maya Angelou, but I have been unable to confirm that. In any case, the words of this quote sound simple enough, but I think they are profound.

What if we could each keep this statement in our minds, and let it guide us? Can you imagine how much could change by simply returning to that intention each day?

That guidance in now helping me choose when to say “Yes” and when to say “No” — with love. This simple awareness has been a game-changer.

This new acronym is inspiring me

I had a great conversation last week with my dear coach and friend, Peleg Top. He has been on a sabbatical, and he is focusing on the joy of simply being.

He told me that he is replacing FOMO (the fear of missing out), with JOMO — the joy of missing out!

I totally love that idea, and have been reminding myself of it daily.

What works best for you?

As I always say, the small changes we make have a big impact, and with consistency the impact grows over time. I am starting small with the powerful ideas I shared here, and am committed to building in open space on my calendar and keeping it that way!

And, just as the quote and the new acronym prove, we can learn so much from one another.

Please share what you have done to make space in your life. I would be delighted to hear your ideas. Leave a comment to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

We're in a season of change. What kind is right for you now?

It’s exciting to see spring bust out all around us, and wonderful to be out and about so much more.

Do you feel inspired? Do you feel ready for new things, new experiences, and maybe some change?

Spring is the perfect time to bring change into your life, and especially this year, having been so limited in so many ways for so long.

What kinds of change do you long for now?

Why not start by considering possible changes in a number of categories. Some offer small opportunities for sparking your life and some are weightier. Which of these can enrich you now?

Think about how you dress.

Many of us have been wearing comfy clothes during the pandemic and the long dark winter from which we just emerged. Lots of us settled for drab colors, too, not thinking much about the impact of the clothes we choose each day. Why not go for wearing fabrics and colors and adornments that make you feel beautiful? This small daily change can give you a big lift!

Color can have a big impact!

Consider emphasizing the colors in your environment. Which make you happy? Which bring back lovely memories? Perhaps colors you associate with the beach and water delight you, or rich jewel tones make you feel great. What changes would light you up, if you add or change colors — in the clothes you choose, flowers you bring into your home, the food on your plate, the art on your walls (or the paint color!), or even the dish towels you use each day?

What are you eating now?

The statistics on weight gain during the pandemic are startling. But even if you have not put on weight, this is the perfect season to focus on eating simple, fresh foods. Farmer’s markets are opening! Home gardens, if you have the space and are up for planting, offer fresh veggies and herbs in your own back yard. I have a Sunday ritual of sautéeing and roasting lots of fresh veggies to eat all week, and at this time of year it gets even more fun. With new favorites like asparagus and local fresh berries soon to be in season, it’s exciting to look forward to all of the flavors.

Will you change your ways of moving?

The opportunities for getting exercise get to be more fun in the spring. I know walking has been an important part of coping with isolation for many people (and those with dogs take them out in any weather), but others — like me — have not been that active outside for some time. I am starting to walk more, both in my neighborhood and in nearby places that offer beautiful new surroundings. Perhaps you will try jogging, or tennis. Perhaps you will be able to safely get back to the gym where specialized equipment is available. Perhaps this is the time to do a new kind of yoga, or try kick-boxing. What would feel great for you?

Are you ready for change in your work?

So many women I speak to now are considering their work lives — in a range of ways. Some got a big wake-up call this year and realized they needed to leave a toxic environment, or move on from a field that is no longer making them happy. Some are looking for work, having been in industries that were hard hit. Some have had businesses that made it through, but need to bring them back to full vitality. Some are in a transitional period moving toward retirement. Some launched new consulting practices or ventures that call on them to show up in new and different ways.

If you find yourself facing or wanting change related to your professional life, start with questions like these: What do you want to change? Why is it important for you? What will it take to get started — or keep moving forward?

All change starts with how you think

How do you consider and orient yourself to all that is possible? What’s your frame of mind? Do you believe in yourself, believe that you can explore change and make change?

If you steer your thoughts to curiosity and inquiry, if you connect to what you want, and ask yourself questions like, “What if it’s possible that…?” and “What small next step might I take?” then making change will be easier for you.

If you find yourself veering into negative territory, like doubt or fear, start with reminding yourself of how much you have been able to do in many other moments of your life. Then aim for making small positive changes (like the ones at the top of the list above). See how they light you up and inspire you. Next, remind yourself that you can choose the thoughts to focus on. Consciously choose to focus on curiosity and stay in inquiry.

Next, set intentions

When you are aware of your thinking and start to get an idea for change you want to make, set intentions. Make your intentions clear, but do not get overwhelmed by setting grand intentions.

You may want to start by setting a small intention, such as scheduling 10 minutes to do a new form of stretching when you wake up each day, or trying to cook a new fresh food twice a week.

You may set a somewhat bigger intention related to your career, like reaching out to ask for information from someone in a field you are exploring.

Once you set the intention, commit to following through. You may want to ask someone to help you stay accountable, with a quick daily or weekly check-in.

Aim to make small, incremental change

Even if you long to make a big change in your life, this is the time to take small steps. Small consistent steps are the surest path to reaping big results!

We tend to minimize the importance of small steps. We believe that we must be bold, and go big to make progress and to feel proud of ourselves.

That’s a myth!

Taking small steps, one after another, is an incredibly powerful way to build confidence, build momentum and reach great outcomes. Small consistent steps make us resilient when set-backs show up. We keep going. And we build new habits that serve us well in many dimensions of our lives.

Make the most of this season of opportunity! I would be delighted to hear about the changes you are initiating. Leave a comment to share.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How will you step into the future now?

What a moment this is.

Seeing spring in bloom feels sweeter than ever after the year we have lived through.

It is remarkable that so many of us have been vaccinated!

We are looking forward with anticipation to being more connected in the world — and to a new season of personal growth and change.

And at the same time there are still many concerns swirling, about reaching herd immunity, new virus variants, and knowing how many people are in peril around the world.

This is not over.

How will we be affected?

It is clear that what lies ahead will not be the same for any of us as in the “before times,” and so we face uncertainty.

We are all changed

Whatever your experiences have been in the last 13 months — it may have been intense and difficult, or things may have gone well for you in the midst of the pandemic — the extraordinary global event has had an impact. And it will continue to impact all of us.

The affect of having lived through this time is worth reflecting on.

Maybe you think differently today about the relationships in your life, or the work you do, or what really matters to you, or what you value that you used to take for granted.

I realize it can feel daunting, but carving out time for thoughtful reflection to gain clarity will help you to move forward with intention.

Why not do some writing to explore all that you have experienced, or spend time with someone close to you and talk about the the observations you’ve both made?

Think about big themes, and also small things. All of it is important, and all of it will create a sort of tapestry of insight, about what really counts for you now.

Where are you headed?

Having gained insight and perspective, you can think about what you want to create in your life now. Spring is the perfect time for new initiatives.

And yet, this is not the time to rush. Go forward gently. Take your time, because things around us are still evolving.

The key is to set a direction that is right for you.
And from there get into motion.

• If you have a new focus on the importance of self-care for your well-being — perhaps exercise, a healthier diet, spending time in nature — how will you make that a non-negotiable part of your routine?

– Get specific about what, when and how you will pursue it.

• If you have had a wake-up call to focus on work that really excites you, how can you start down that path and build momentum?

– What first step can you take today? What can you research or learn? Who can you reach out to for information, or advice, or to invite collaboration?

• If now is the time to make progress on something that you have been timid about starting, or procrastinated about dealing with, what small step can you take today to get started? And what next step will you take tomorrow?

– Who can help you (a coach? an accountability partner?) so you stay on track?

• If you are ready to expand, to reach higher or go bigger — in the work you do, a passion you want to pursue, an initiative you yearn to launch, a relationship you want to go after, a geographic relocation — consider who you need to be to get that started. Bold? Creative? Confident? How can you build those qualities?

– Be sure to think big! Ask yourself how big the idea can be, and envision that outcome. Get the support you need and begin to take action.

Stay open-minded and flexible

As you begin to move into what is next for you, move ahead thoughtfully. Be prepared to make modifications as conditions around you evolve, and as your insights and experiences inform your thinking.

After all, that is the essence of creativity.

You are a creator when you stay open and curious.

You are a creator when you allow yourself to keep generating new ideas and you test them without fear.

You are a creator when you listen to, and trust, your intuition.

When you are a creator the possibilities are unlimited.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to talk about your ambitions for the future and learn how I may be able to help you create the future you dare to dream of, let’s hop on a call. Click here to find a spot on my calendar.)

If you avoid discomfort you’re not alone

Human beings like to be comfortable. And who can blame us? Feeling comfortable — physically and emotionally — is certainly nicer than discomfort.

But staying in our comfort zone, avoiding the discomfort of stepping up to try new things and experience personal growth, is different.

Because when we stay static, play safe, or live a small version of what is possible for us, just to remain comfortable, we cheat ourselves.

As I wrote last week, even accomplished women who yearn for more — to show up and be fully authentic, to reach for the next level in their work, to live the life they yearn for on their terms — can get mired in doubt and stay stuck.

Why? As much as they may want to change, they resist stepping into that change because they fear it will be uncomfortable.

Is the thought of some discomfort keeping you stuck?

Maybe thoughts like these are holding you back:

• I may not be up to the task — what if I fail?

• I'm really not good enough to do what I’m dreaming of.

• I’m not enough.

• I don’t feel worthy; I do not deserve what I desire.

• I’m afraid of what other people will say — if I can’t make the change, or even if I succeed.

• Some people will disapprove of what I want to do.

• I’ll be horribly embarrassed if I fall short.

• I feel ashamed that it’s taken me so long to get started. It’s easier not to even try.

Yes, even considering these thoughts can get uncomfortable.

And if any of them (or several) ring true for you, you are not alone!

Most people — even super-accomplished people — have had many of these concerns. And many have moved forward in spite of them.

What you may be ready to consider

When you read through the list above, did you feel a stirring to stretch a bit? Might you be willing to get a little uncomfortable and try to take some new steps in your life?

Maybe one or more of these possibilities feel “ripe” for you now:

• I want to go after something new.

• I’m willing to examine my life.

• I want to figure out what’s next for me that will light me up.

• I feel ready to expand and grow.

• I want to be more self-relient, be more in command of my life.

• I want to make a bold move in my career or business or personal life.

• I am ready to bring a new relationship into my life.

• There’s something I am not willing to tolerate any more.

You can safely begin to test the waters

If you responded to something on the list above — or something different and meaningful came up for you — here’s how to start to take small steps toward the expansion and change you seek.

Consider these 4 suggestions:

1. Ask someone you admire if they made it to where they are today without concern about some discomfort.

If they are willing to honestly share with you, you are likely to hear a great story about what it was like for them before, how they faced the discomfort of stepping into change, and how they reached the place they are today.

With that inspiration, think about ways you can get started making some change in your life.

2. Check out my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life.

Lots of people have been telling me how helpful Live Big is for them now. They have shared that doing some of the exercises and practices in various chapters of the book has been really great. The book offers many safe ways to be guided to gently step into making meaningful change. (And, the book is on sale through Thursday, so this is a great time to get a copy for yourself, stock up for gifts, and send copies to friends.)

3. Choose a step to take now, to activate a change.

If, for instance, you want to learn something new, or want to consider a career shift to a new industry, you might search for videos to start exploring what’s involved. You can invite someone with that background to have a virtual coffee date. You can look for a short course to take.

The idea is to start! Even small steps get you in motion, and those small steps will not feel too uncomfortable. From there you can gain momentum.

4. Reach out for help.

Do you have a friend who is interested in making change in her life? You can ask if she wants to be an accountability partner for you, and you for her.

Or better yet, you can ask for the help of a pro.

My journey of expansion and transformation started when I got help. I was not looking for it, but the universe introduced me to a coach, and for the first time in my life, I said “Yes” to getting help.

Was it uncomfortable to be asked big questions I’d never asked myself, and look clearly at my life? You bet it was. But I also felt safe, knowing I was being guided by a brilliant and loving coach every step of the way.

And my life today is the reward.

I have never stopped being coached — in fact I have several coaches now, to support me in different parts of my life and work. That’s how I continue to grow and expand in my life.

Sure, I run up against some discomfort each time I begin to move out of my current comfort zone. But having support makes a world of difference.

If you want to explore what support can look like, let’s talk

I invite you to make a date with me for a Live Big Breakthrough Call — there’s no cost or obligation. I ask only one thing: that you are serious about exploring what making significant change can be like for you.

Share your challenges and your dreams. I’ll provide new insights and perspectives about what’s in your way now, as well as what is possible. And if the fit feels good, we can talk about how I may be able to help you make your dreams a reality.

Click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Even accomplished women feel doubt and play small

I talk about about the concept of living big all the time — what it means to create a life where you show up fully and authentically, boldly aligning with your true purpose and able to keep fear and doubt from derailing you.

Sadly, even accomplished women live small. They play smaller than they know, deep down, they are capable of.

I know I was living a small life in so many ways until my “wake-up call” a decade ago. Yes, I had a great marriage and wonderful children and I owned a respected design firm. I was regarded as a successful woman.

But I came to realize that I did not believe in myself enough to lead my team or my clients as powerfully as I could. That lack of feeling good enough made me uncomfortable showing up in our marketing, and made it hard for me to be decisive.

The biggest realization I became aware of was that my work was no longer lighting me up — and I finally believed that I deserved to find what would challenge and excite me each day.

I was not willing to settle any longer.

And when I decided to sell my business and step into something new (that I could not yet picture), I realized I had to start showing up in my life in new ways. I needed to bring new levels of belief in myself, as well as courage, to embarking on my new journey.

Do you struggle to believe in yourself, show up fully and forge your own path?

I know I have a lot of company in not having been encouraged to think about and appreciate my gifts and talents — after all, I was taught that would be boastful. It was really hard for me to “own” my gifts and feel confident.

Nor was I urged to show up in big ways growing up, or even as I stepped into my professional life. Few of us were told it’s great to speak your truth. I look back and see how often I second-guessed myself or did not speak up when I knew I had something to say.

And few of us were told to connect to what we truly want, and to follow a path that is ours to explore and travel. It wasn’t until I started working with a coach that I was guided to do just that.

Is doubt making you play small or feel stuck?

When we doubt ourselves, or don’t feel that we deserve to pursue our desires, we are unable to believe in all that’s possible for us. And so we settle.

We settle for the status quo — after all, it feels safe to stick to what’s familiar.

Or we tolerate the feeling of being an impostor — which makes us overly cautious as we doubt ourselves.

And if we focus on staying safe, and when we resist (or are afraid of) stretching to explore what we can truly do, or what we truly desire, we feel stuck and we tend to stay stuck.

Do you recognize any of these signs?

• You feel deflated and discouraged. These feelings are natural when you don’t appreciate your greatness and feel doubtful, or when you feel unfulfilled and don’t know how to get started in a new direction.

• You feel numb. This feeling — whether it comes on by itself or you help it along with behaviours like avoidance or overeating or drinking — is an indicator that you are not taking charge of your life for any number of reasons.

• You know, deep down, that you are hiding your true self. You care so much about what others think that you don’t allow yourself to show up authentically.

• You are focused on the feelings and wellbeing of everyone around you, and discount what you need. Even the most accomplished women tend to put themselves last.

• You’re exhausted. Playing small or living small sounds like it would give you space and peace, but it is depleting — emotionally and physically.

The good news is that you get to choose

My life is proof that it’s possible to take action — and to make remarkable, significant change.

And, I could not have done it alone. I was not equipped to make big courageous moves in my life without support. That's where the great coach I worked with was invaluable, and I have never stopped getting coaching support.

We all have endless opportunities to grow and expand, by going deep into understanding ourselves and leveraging all of our gifts.

When you are open to change:

You get to choose what you want.

You can be proactive.

You can overcome obstacles.

The universe will open up and support you.

Are you ready to choose change?

If you want to talk about what it can look like to step into the biggest version of yourself, and connect to what you want your life to look, feel and be like so you can start creating the future you really desire, let’s talk.

Click here to grab a spot on my calendar. I promise you will gain new insights and perspective on what’s in the way and possible for you, and we’ll see if we both think working together can help you to step into the future you want. And if not, that’s totally fine.

And, with my Live Big Live! program kicking off soon, we may determine that it’s the perfect way for you to make your big breakthroughs, to start living your next chapter.

Let’s talk and see if this is your time to step into living big!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The power of your mindset may surprise you

I have lots of conversations with women who are contemplating their lives and their futures. I listen to them describe the desires they have and the challenges that stand in their way. As I listen, I tune in to their orientation to themselves and the world.

I listen for signs of a mindset that is limited, or what Carol Dweck calls a “fixed mindset,” as well as indicators that they have what Dweck calls a “growth mindset” in her renowned book, Mindset.

I call that an expansive mindset.

Why do I pay attention to that?

Because the deep work I do with my clients leads to success for those with many characteristics of an expansive mindset.

Someone with a deeply fixed mindset is not able to benefit in the same way. A fixed mindset will not only frustrate her, it will frustrate me.

Your mindset can support you to becoming a powerful creator

Your outlook on the world impacts how you live each day — and how you can begin to live an even more satisfying life tomorrow than today.

And while none of us embodies a expansive mindset in every dimension of our lives, those of us who begin with (or endeavor to fully develop) an expansive mindset have a smoother path to creating a life that truly satisfies them — what I call living big.

What, specifically, does an expansive mindset look like?

• You have an expansive mindset when you appreciate your gifts and talents. And you believe that you can develop and expand those talents and skills.

• You see potential and believe that you can figure things out, rather than being pessimistic or allowing yourself to feel defeated.

• You learn to add a powerful little word to sentences like these: “I don’t know how to do that,” or “I can’t accomplish my goal.” By changing statements like those to: “I don’t know how to do that yet,” and “I haven’t yet accomplished my goal,” you are open and ready and motivated to continue and succeed.

• You believe that you can always learn and grow.

• You believe that you can figure things out — yourself, or with help.

• You try new things without fear. You experiment, and when early attempts fall short, you refine and try new approaches. You focus on solutions, believing in your ability as a creator to find solutions.

• You take consistent action. This means you focus on the journey, not just the destination.

• You learn from every new experience — the great ones, and the tough ones — knowing all of them inform you and help you continue to learn and grow.

• You don’t compare yourself to others (which is always a bad idea). Rather, you are inspired by others, and you can support, encourage and celebrate them — even if they are “ahead” of you in some ways.

• You are true to yourself and your values.

• You keep fear at bay. This doesn't mean you don’t ever feel fear, but you learn to keep it from stopping or limiting you.

• You are open and curious, you listen, and you learn.

• You believe that life is good, even when you are moving through rough patches. When the going is tougher (which is inevitable from time to time), you shift to hope and optimism. You trust yourself.

• You surround yourself with others who are like-minded, who also approach the world with an expansive mindset.

Do you see yourself in this list?

Few of us can “check off” all the boxes on the list above! Even those who have focused on personal development and are doing well need to return to practices that keep them on course with an expansive mindset.

And those who have not yet embarked on personal development work may have more than a few unchecked boxes. That’s ok.

When you start with enough of a foundation in an expansive mindset, and a deep desire to grow and create your ideal life, you can step up to developing more of it.

And you can stay on course, too, especially when you have good tools and when you have support.

Are you looking to leverage your expansive mindset for more growth?

If you want to step up in your life to become the biggest and best version of yourself, and start creating the future you deeply desire, I invite you to share your challenges and your dreams with me. You can also learn how I may be able to help you make those dreams a reality.

Let’s hop on a call. Click here to grab a spot on my calendar. I promise you will gain new insights and perspective on what’s possible for you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are your high standards hurting you?

Do you have high standards? Do you care about every detail being just right? Maybe people call you “picky” — like my kids did when they were growing up. It was said jokingly, but my “pickiness” was often annoying.

Traits like these often indicate perfectionism.

Caring about things being done well is all fine and good, but perfectionists carry things to a level that is problematic — for themselves and for people around them.

As a recovering perfectionist (I’m a Type One on the Enneagram), I know a lot about the subject.

And I can tell you, it’s exhausting to be a perfectionist.

If you relate, or you care about a perfectionist in your life, exploring this subject may help you.

The tyranny of perfectionism

It’s worth understanding the range of negative impacts of perfectionism — for both perfectionists and those around them.

The impacts of perfectionism on the perfectionist

The exhaustion of relentlessly striving for perfection adds enormous stress to life. And goodness knows, we have all endured enough stress this year that adding to it is just awful. In fact, stress can be toxic.

Perfectionism is the root cause of procrastination — another way perfectionists suffer. After all, if it has to be perfect it can feel scary to get started on any project. And the inevitable stress of needing to create something great at the 11th hour adds stress on top of stress. You can see where this is headed.

For some people, perfectionism can become so extreme that it’s debilitating. I hear from people whose jobs make them miserable due to the pressure they feel to be perfect.

And perfectionists have a hard time delegating. Everything they think they need to do themselves to get it done “right” adds to the weight they carry — at work and at home.

Each day can feel unbearable, and burnout can result.

But even for those who live with a more moderate level of perfectionism, there are downsides. They often lose perspective about what is really important as they aim for everything to be perfect. And the undercurrent of fear about not being good enough takes a psychic toll.

How perfectionists impact others

Perfectionists can be hard on those around them.

When some show up as being picky about things, it can annoy the people in their midst.

When perfectionists are judgmental of others who don’t meet their impossibly high standards, they can be tougher to be around.

And when a perfectionist feels angry about someone else not meeting their standards, things can get really rough. Even if they don’t intend to be harsh, these perfectionists can hurt people’s feelings and worse.

Leaders who struggle with perfectionism are often disliked, as well as feared. This is terrible for both perfectionists and those who work for them.

How to join the ranks of recovering perfectionists

1. Lighten up

Ok, for a perfectionist. that is easier said than done. After all, perfectionism is deeply rooted in those who struggle with it.

You might start with getting comfortable with the idea that “almost perfect” is good. Give it a solid effort and be ok with that. After all, you’re idea of “almost perfect’ is likely to be seen as terrific by many people!

Think about what is most important as well as what is the wisest way to use your time. Are you focused on making something perfect at the expense of something else that is actually more important? Is striving to make things perfect on a particular project robbing you of time that can be better spent in other ways — at work, or in your personal life? When you get clear can you take a fresh approach?

2. Trust the adage that “perfect is the enemy of good”

Try to focus on process as much as product — enjoy the journey!

And try the 80/20 approach. Launching that website when it’s 80% of what you consider “perfect” and having people access your content sooner, is so much better than delaying the site launch until you are 100% happy with every last detail. There is always time to polish or add more later.

Appreciate yourself for completing a project and getting it into the world. And appreciate that you did it sooner than if you had labored over it longer.

3. Savor the inner peace

When you practice and are gradually able to loosen the grip of perfectionism, you will notice many positive changes.

Imagine how good it will feel to work on projects a little at a time, with less procrastination and fewer last-minute crunches.

Allow yourself to enjoy the process, rather than anxiously focusing only on the outcome, and you will add pleasure to your daily life.

Consider projects complete before they are “perfect.” That will alleviate stress and feel terrific.

When you delegate with clarity, and are able to see that others will sometimes do things somewhat differently than you would, but that their way is fine, you’ll experience a huge sense of relief.

And if you need to give constructive criticism and allow them to give it another go, their eventual ability to handle that kind of matter will free you up in wonderful ways.

All of that will make you happier, raise your self-esteem, and make those around you able to appreciate you in a whole new light.

Are you ready to stop being a perfectionist?

Leave a comment to let me know if perfectionism is a factor in your life — and if so, tell me how it impacts you.

And if you want help to end the negative pull of perfectionism, let’s talk.

As someone who has significantly overcome this problem, I help many women to move past procrastination.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with new insights and perspectives, as well as ways you can begin to change your life for the better right away.

And we can explore the possibility for you to be a part of my next Live Big Live! retreat, to help you create the life you want and deserve. Of course, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Want a marvelous (and easy) way to fire up your life?

We are about to move from winter into spring! We can feel new possibilities in the air, and feel hopeful as the tide seems to be turning significantly to bring an end to the pandemic.

I am filled with optimism, even as I know we are far from a full recovery of health and safety, economic security for all, and fully addressing racial and social injustice.

I believe the best way you can propel your life forward now is to start focusing on something that's both easy to do and absolutely delightful.

Focus on joy today

Even if you have not yet been vaccinated, can you feel life opening up like I do? Does that lift your spirits? That feeling, my friend, is a glimmer of joy.

Cultivating joy sets a foundation on top of which great things can happen.

But joy is often regarded as frivolous, or not worthy of attention. If you have not tuned in to joy and all of its benefits, read on.

Why joy is important

I’m happy to share that the benefits of joy have been documented.

Joy improves heath. It reduces stress and pain, boosts our immune system, and promotes overall well-being. It makes us more resilient (something we all can certainly use). Living joyfully may even add years to your life.

In addition, joyful people have been observed to be kinder, more patient, and even more successful.

And the great thing is that joy can be actively pursued and cultivated. Sadly, many of us rush through our lives and miss opportunities for joy.

Three simple ways to bring more joy into your life

1. Look for wonder

When you actively look for wonder in your midst, there is always something marvelous to be found. Even in a seemingly unremarkable place, you can spot a moment of light and shadow, or a quirky detail, or the shape of an interesting tree as you look up at the sky, that can give you a moment of delight.

That delight you feel? That’s a bit of joy that can fuel your day.

2. Create beauty

We have endless opportunities to create moments of beauty.

What colors can you bring into a meal today — orange sweet potatoes? red beets? dark greens in your salad? How can you serve the food to be especially beautiful? What bowl or plates will you choose? I promise even the simplest food will taste better when you make it beautiful to look at, and the beauty will spark joy.

The same thing happens when you arrange items on your bookshelf with care, rather than just cramming things in. Each time you look at it you can experience a moment of pleasure.

And consider a color you hanker for, that will wake up your spirit now. Look for a scarf, or a flower, or a picture, or an item of any kind in that color, and you are sure to smile.

3. Connect to people who make you happy

When we choose to be with people who are full of positive energy, we naturally feel more joyful.

Whom can you reach out to and make a plan to meet?

We went to a sculpture park on the weekend and saw people safely enjoying the beauty of art in a great natural setting. Doing something like that with someone you enjoy will bring more joy into your life — you’ll experience the joy of being together as you feel inspired by the beauty of the art around you.

Reaching out to connect by phone works, too, and that can be done in the spur of the moment, without needing to deal with logistics.

Any way you can think of to share time with people you enjoy will add more joy to your life.

I believe that joy is our birthright

We can all bring more joy into our lives, and in doing so, we reap wonderful benefits. And the more joy you create, the more joy you will feel. The more joy you feel, the bigger the ripple effects will be — inside of you and for those around you.

The seeds of joy you plant and nurture will reap results that can be remarkable.

You deserve an abundance of joy. It’s key to living big.

How will you add more joy to your life today?

I am eager to hear!

Leave a comment and let me know how you experiment and choose to cultivate joy. I’d also love to hear about how you experience joy, and how joy supports you to live your best life.

And if, even with the addition of more joy, you don’t feel on track to live the life you yearn for, you may be thinking that a guide can help you. If so, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create — so they can step into making those visions their reality.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives, as well as ways you can begin to change your life for the better right away.

We can explore the possibility for you to be a part of my next Live Big Live! retreat, to help you create the life you want and deserve. And, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

We’re all worn out as we wait...

If you are feeling like me, and so many people with whom I’ve been in conversation recently, we’re collectively sensing a peculiar mix of excitement, longing, and uncertainty.

We are moving into month 13 of restrictions and changes due to the pandemic. That’s a crazy-long time to have been in uncertainty, much less experiencing the despair that so many have suffered.

As humans, our first impulse when a problem arrises is to reach out to others — and to be close. Close contact is the biggest thing we have been unable to have, and that has been hard.

Many of us are running low on resources to continue hanging in, waiting for the tide to truly turn.

We just do not yet know when that will be.

We are tired of seeing others only on screens. We miss embraces, we miss sitting and sharing meals together. We long to be able to sit in a crowded cafe, or attend a live performance, or travel.

Here are the best ideas I’ve had and seen lately

Zoom — yes, it continues to be a great resource!

In spite of screen fatigue and the feeling of disconnection, we can still leverage the miracle of this (and similar) technology to help us cope.

On Saturday, I led a private virtual vision board workshop for a group of 12 women who missed one another and longed to gather to share a great experience. It was an absolute pleasure to guide them through my process, and see the joy they had creating together.

And next weekend my family will have a zoom celebration for my father’s 95th birthday. Friends and relatives from around the globe will join us — something that was not possible at the beautiful party we had for my dad on his 90th birthday. Will it be the same as 5 years ago? No. Will it be special, memorable and have some advantages? Yes.

How can you think about designing a virtual way to gather in a fresh light, so that connecting to others can boost your emotions?

Get outside!

I marvel at people who have been outside every day, especially in the cold winter months we’ve experienced where I live. I have intended to get out more, but I have often stayed warm and kept busy inside.

Yesterday I not only bundled up and walked in the cold bright air, I decided not to stay close to home as I typically do. I chose to walk in a nearby park with the goal to see more people than I do in the streets around my home.

It was lovely to see families out and about, and see kids climb on a play structure.

I did not expect it, but I heard someone call my name. As I looked at the man in a wooly hat and mask, making it hard to tell who he was, I realized I recognized his voice!

It was so special to have this casual encounter and conversation with someone I had not seen in over a year.

I am motivated to take myself to more places where I can safely be near people in a way that feels “normal.” When we got home from our walk yesterday, we bought tickets to visit an outdoor sculpture museum next weekend. I cannot wait!

What can you do to expand the possibilities to safely connect with people in the real world?

Ramp up the gratitude

I know this may sound like a recurring theme, but that’s because gratitude is so powerful, and such a valuable resource that is always available to us.

If we are lucky, the vaccine rollout will swiftly protect our entire population. If we are lucky, the vaccines will protect us against the new variants (or booster shots will do that). If we are lucky, the new stimulus funds will usher in a big round of economic relief and suffering will subside.

We can wait and see, and then express gratitude.

Or, we can be grateful each day that there is forward progress underway.

We can be grateful now, knowing that we will soon be safer.

We can be grateful now, for sunny days and for spring being just round the corner.

We can be grateful now for love, for kindness, and for each smile — whether we see that smile in the eyes of a person wearing a mask, or on a zoom screen, or through a window.

When we focus on gratitude, we fill ourselves with good emotions. These buoy us and help us to bring patience and resilience to each day.

How can you make gratitude a bigger part of your life each day?

How are you creating your way through the challenges?

Leave a comment and share what is working for you now. I am eager to hear about more great ideas.

And if you have the urge to make new moves in your life or work, or are trying to figure out what’s next, or you yearn to create a future that fulfills your dreams, let’s talk.

I love to be in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create.

And the timing may be ideal. The next Live Big Live! will be launching in April, and registration has just opened.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives about your life and what’s possible. If Live Big Live! may be a good fit for you, we’ll talk about that — but if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The way to stay motivated that most of us miss out on

If you are like so many of my clients (and like I used to be, too), you rarely stop to acknowledge yourself for small accomplishments.

We are busy and have a lot to get done. Many of the things we’re focused on are ambitious — projects that cannot be tackled in a sitting or two.

Projects at work can entail many steps and stages to complete. If you own a business, marketing tasks can feel never-ending. If there's a change you are making in your home, or you are committed to a project like writing a book or mastering a new skill, it may take months or even years to bring them to conclusion.

Things we quickly complete and check off on a to-do list feel satisfying, but as we work away on the bigger projects, it’s easy to feel discouraged.

That’s when things can stall out.

We can easily get down on ourselves. And when that happens it takes lots of energy to get back on track.

All of this is draining — and it can be avoided.

There are 3 great ways to avoid these pitfalls — and the last one is my favorite

Here are sure-fire ways to stay committed and motivated, no matter what you are trying to accomplish.

First, focus on what matters most

I often remind my clients that we all have limited time, attention and energy each day, so it’s important to carefully consider how to use all three.

Set your sights on what is really important. There are always urgent things to deal with, but few of them are really important. It’s the important but not urgent things we need to devote our time, attention and energy to with care.

Think about how you can delegate, defer, or even drop some of the urgent-but-not-important things. Then choose times on your calendar to batch your efforts for those that are left, so they don’t create attentional clutter or distract you.

This frees you for focused time — choose the time of day that’s most productive for you — to attend to what is really important.

Next break down bigger projects into tiny chunks

Accomplished people are especially prone to setting big goals. And doing that is a trap.

When you schedule smaller, doable pieces of your bigger goals, you give yourself a gift. These smaller tasks are easier to complete, and can be done in smaller amounts of time. Thus you get the satisfaction of completing things, and you get that satisfaction often.

This is good for your brain and good for your spirit!

It may feel challenging at first to embrace the idea that setting your sights on small steps will be meaningful and worthy. I urge you to try it. When you begin to experience the benefits, this new approach will be a game-changer.

This is the icing on the cake: acknowledge yourself and celebrate

This last step is the one we skip all the time, even when we complete big projects. Some of us skip it because we minimize the importance of what we have just completed. Some of us simply rush on to attend to the next thing (big or small).

When we fail to pause and acknowledge ourselves for everything we accomplish, we miss something big. And skipping past the small things is the most common oversight.

We miss giving ourselves the gift of self-appreciation.

Sure, it's great to get kudos from others. But we all deserve to acknowledge ourselves — and celebrate our accomplishments — when we complete things we’ve put effort into.

So, if you’ve taken a small first step — perhaps you’ve written the first draft of the copy for the home page of your website (not all the site copy), or you listed people to reach out to for input on a project (not made all of the calls), or you created a healthy meal plan for the week (not already done all the shopping and cooking) — it’s a perfect time to acknowledge yourself for completing a small and meaningful task.

One of my coaches calls these “Yay Me” moments, and I have my clients share their “Yay Me’s” regularly.

For me, witnessing “Yay Me” moments is almost magical. When you see someone who pauses to acknowledge herself with true pride for something small, it is amazing.

So, right this minute, can you give yourself a “Yay Me” for something small? (And if there’s a “Yay Me” for something big, by all means do that, too!)

For extra credit, can you share your “Yay Me” with someone?

I would love to hear your “Yay Me”!

Leave a comment or email me and let me know what came to mind for you to appreciate in this way. And let me know how it felt to savor and celebrate it.

I want to celebrate with you!

And if there are big questions or challenges that hamper you from making an important move forward in your life, and you want to find a guide to help you, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create.

I promise our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives. Perhaps I can help you create the life you want and deserve — and, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How I'm coping now — and you can, too

Is the winter weather, the strain of pandemic limitations, and the need for continued isolation getting to you?

I’m hearing lots of people describe that after nearly a year, filled with ups and downs, this has become a particularly challenging time for them. Some describe it as feeling like they are “hitting the wall.”

People everywhere crave connection. Many feel lonely. I, too, long to be with people I love and have not touched or held for months. I long to be with friends I have only seen on a screen, long to be able to safely hop a plane and go to see my dad and sisters, and long for the simple pleasure of being able to be in a busy place with people all around me, without worry about getting sick. 

Some of us are vaccinated (or in my case, have had the first of 2 shots) and others must wait for the day they will be able to be vaccinated. The thought of being with others, safely visiting a museum, or eating inside of a favorite cafe is so enticing.

And, we are not there... yet.

Even as our patience is being tested, we get to choose how to respond.

Can you see this moment as an opportunity?

Whenever you are struggling there is always an invitation to respond in new ways.

See if these approaches help you.

1. Try out a new way to cope with tough emotions

My work is all about creating, and the thing most people do not know — that I learned when I studied Psycho-Creativity — is that we have an amazing resource available to us when we create with the energy of difficult emotions. We can actually transform the “load” of emotional stress we feel.

If you want to try it, there are many possibilities.

You can crank up intense music and dance out your frustration, or anger, or whatever way you are feeling upset. You can grab some crayons and make a series of hideous pictures — to make the angry feelings visual. You can hammer away in a workshop to “download” the upsetting feelings and find relief, or furiously chop up the veggies for your salad.

Since the start of the pandemic, I have turned to this way of finding release when I paint. Each time I am in my studio I allow all my emotions to come up. I connect to my heart and sometimes find myself in tears.

My work has changed a lot over the last year. Some canvases are a mess, and I simply keep reworking them. Some paintings emerge successfully, and a few have been in juried exhibitions. Honestly, I don't really care that much. My time in the studio has been an important way for me to deal with the fear, pain and loss I’ve been feeling, and I am deeply grateful for the outlet.

2. You can choose to reframe the situation and focus on gratitude

Yes, this year has been a long haul. You may have kids doing distance learning. You may have had work disruptions. You may have been ill, or lost someone you love. The degree to which we have personally experienced difficulties in the last year varies a lot, and I am not suggesting we minimize the difficulties.

Right now, my son, his wife and their two small children all have COVID. After staying safe for nearly a year, the virus came into their home from the school of my 21-month old granddaughter. I am so grateful that the illness has not been severe for any of them. And yet, it is deeply upsetting that they are ill, and it feels incredibly hard not being there to help them.

My reframe looks like this:

In spite of having been confined, and having had to bury my mother last summer without the comfort of loved ones around us, and the worry I feel about my children and grandchildren who are ill, I choose to focus on many blessings.

• Most members of my family have stayed safe, and my son and his family are making a steady recovery.

• We have found new ways to stay connected and help one another.

• We have created novel ways to be happy together.

• Our new national leaders are addressing the pandemic, as well as many other vitally important issues that aim to bring more safety and justice to the people of our country.

• Love has carried us on its wings.

And my daily gratitude practice, when I remind myself of 3 or more things for which I can be grateful at the end of each day, has been enormously helpful.

3. You can leverage the power of visualization

I am a big believer in visualization. Much the way Olympic athletes envision a strong start (as they are on the starting block, or are about to set up their next dive) and then envision having an excellent performance, we can use the power of visualization in our lives.

On a daily basis, we can start the day by envisioning how we want to feel at the end of a conversation, or when completing a task, or even how we want to feel at the end of the day. Holding that vision can bring powerful results.

And you can set a vision for the way you want to feel and what you want to be doing when the weather gets warm in the months ahead. Imagine the scene and savor the vision. Then you are likely to take steps that will make the vision your reality. 

And consider your vision for your life a year from now. What does that vision include? This is a great time to create that vision.

Then, consider how you can keep the vision fresh in your mind. (Hint: you might want to make a vision board to keep it present in your life each day. You may want to register now for my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop in May.)

If you don’t want to go it alone anymore, do reach out

I am hearing from many accomplished women who are ready to get support and help to move beyond the challenges of the day-to-day and make meaningful strides to create the futures they long for. 

If you want to explore what it can look like to become a confident and powerful creator of the future you desire — whether you know what that vision looks like already, or are trying to figure it out — your first step can be to reach out for a conversation.

It’s easy to do. You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

I promise to provide you with new insights and perspectives, and I may be able to help you start creating the life you want and deserve. There’s no cost for us to talk, and please know this — if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

2.9.21, 5am...

It was 5:00am one morning last week, and this is what poured out onto the page when I could not sleep:

Right now it’s too much. Too much to do, too much to keep up with. More than I can do. More than I want to do.

I need space. Space for rest. Space for me. Space to be. Space to paint. Time for more movement. Yoga again! Reading!

Grace. Ease.

Help. Lots of it.

Simplify. Time with Steven. Go outside. Feel the snow. Breathe the air — everyday!!!

What can I postpone? Look and do that.

Block lots of time on my calendar for me. End the day earlier.

I cannot continue this way. And I will not.

Can you relate?

When clients work with me, they often think I have everything figured out.

Sure, they know that I’ve had challenges in the past, but they are certain that I have overcome them and live a perfectly balanced life — which is what so many of them are seeking.

The truth?

I do live a significantly different (and happier) life than I had a decade ago. But even as we learn and make big changes in our lives, the challenges we have faced before crop up again.

We are tested over and over.

Why did I find myself coming to all of this pre-dawn awareness after having made so many important changes in my life in the last decade?

Because the drivers that had made my “old” life so intense for so long tend to creep up on me if I fail to stay alert to them.

It is easy for me to drift back into an over-busy life, where I am not taking the consistent actions that I started to adopt a decade ago.

Slowing down and being still, really listening to my heart, and taking time to see wonder all around me every day can get crowded out with long lists of to-do’s.

Fully embracing gratitude, focusing on self-love, and allowing myself to feel free can fall by the wayside.

That's when my biggest challenges — letting fear influence me, and not focusing on being patient, so I can allow all the things I am working toward to unfold as they are meant to — really try and step in to sabotage me.

Getting back on course

Personal transformation is a process! It’s never one-and-done. We do the work to grow and develop new and better ways to live and work, and inevitably find that old challenges crop up again.

But when they show up, we are different than when we began the journey.

We can spot the problems earlier, before they wreak havoc as they used to. And we have tools and insights to return to, so we can begin to consistently bring those practices back into our lives and more quickly get on track.

I took my pre-dawn rant into a conversation with my coach, and with her brilliant guidance I made connections at a deeper level than ever before about what the underlying factors were that I could address — and powerful ways to bring big change into my life now.

We can always learn more and do more

We never “get there” — to a place of perfection and total ease.

We continually grow and expand, and even though we hit rough patches again and again, that growth is amazing!

I find it incredibly inspiring to gain new perspectives and deeper clarity as I move along my journey. As my life unfolds and I experience periodic set-backs, I can spot them and address them, and they become instructive.

Rather than festering and causing damage, I see them and learn from them. That’s how they bring me the gifts of new levels of change and expansion in my life.

And for that I am filled with gratitude.

Are you ready to start — or continue — your journey?

You may feel overwhelmed for any number of reasons.

You may be focused on everyone else’s well-being, and not your own.

You may have dreams you’ve put on hold or dreams you want to realize faster with guidance.

You may simply feel stuck or in a deep rut.

Whether you have addressed these challenges in the past and want to make your next move forward, or you want to begin a journey to transform your life, I applaud you for knowing you want to find a guide to help you.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore the real stuff that’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they want to create.

I invite you to have a conversation like that. I promise to provide you with new insights and perspectives. Perhaps I can help you create the life you want and deserve — and, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

It’s easy to book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What I learned this year — and how you can learn from me

Saturday was the one year anniversary of the day my book launched — Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Live has celebrated its first year in the world!

January 30 is a clear marker in time for me, and it’s exciting to recall all that's happened in the year related to publishing and introducing my book.

We have all thought a lot about the unexpected impact of the pandemic in 2020, something I could not imagine lay ahead on the day of the launch. I had so many plans that fell away or changed when we went into lockdown.

Many of us have have focused on recalling the challenges of 2020. There certainly were lots of them, and we have a long road ahead to be sure. And yet, we can always chose the filter for our reflections.

When I reflect on the first year LIVE BIG has been in the world I feel enormous gratitude.

I am grateful for everything I learned on my journey of writing and publishing the book. (In fact, I could write another book about that journey!) Most of all, I appreciate the steep learning curve I climbed and that I did not give up, even when things got complicated and frustrating.

I am grateful for the amazing reviews that I reached out and requested, and were written for the book in advance.

I am grateful for, and proud of, how I stepped into being visible in a bigger way, overcoming the discomfort of doing Facebook Lives, then hosting a live 3-hour launch party. I am also proud about the speaking and podcast appearances I now feel at ease doing, but which were a stretch back in early 2020.

I am grateful that I sought out and received wonderful help and support from many special people, without whom this project and the launch would have been far different.

I am grateful that I created new and exciting ways to share the story of the book, when book signings and personal appearances were not possible.

Most of all, I am grateful for the many readers who have not only shared their enthusiasm for the book, many in 5-star Amazon reviews and in notes to me (one included the photo above!), they also gifted the book to friends, family members and clients. That is a huge honor and it fills my heart with joy.

What can you look back on with gratitude — and how can you carry that energy into 2021?

We can all find evidence of ways we learned, responded and created in new ways in 2020 that can inspire us now.

As we step into this second month of the year, what lessons learned, what insights and appreciations can you take note of to build on, to make this year one you can look back on with pride and gratitude?

Why not take some time for reflection? Make notes of all the things for which you feel grateful.

If there are big things, like a major project you worked on or completed, break down all the parts that you can appreciate, and savor each one.

And be sure you note the small things from last year — like setting a good boundary, or making more time for self-care, or having the courage to have an important conversation that was on your mind, or responding to new challenges with fresh ideas. Often what we think of as small things have enormous importance, so don’t overlook or minimize any of the small things.

When you leverage the energy of gratitude remarkable things can happen.

I lived a long time without the insights I share with you each week. Learning about and bringing gratitude into my life in a focused way is one great asset I now make a focus each day.

Your path to living a bigger, happier, more satisfying life does not need to be as steep or take as long as my path took me.

And you don’t need to figure it out alone.

I am happiest when I help other women to get past their limitations, learn to bring great tools into their lives, and step into truly living big. Let’s have a conversation about what's happening in your life, the dreams and desires in your heart, and how you can get past what limits you to live the life you want.

I invite you to book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me directly and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

3 great ways to keep your spirits high

Wow, we’re in the last week of January already! Does it feel like time is flying by for you? Or are the days dragging along, as we continue to live through the pandemic and the ways it imposes limitations and challenges?

So much depends on the frame of mind we hold, even in the most trying times.

Try these 3 ways to keep your spirits from flagging

1. Create space for YOU

In my work with accomplished women I frequently hear about the stresses of work (and often parenting, too) that eclipse space for self-care and the pursuit of what brings them joy. (And there are plenty of men who struggle with this, as well.)

I get it. There’s a lot to do. There are obligations to fulfill, and people who need us, and...

When we deplete ourselves, we cannot do the best for anyone else. We cannot do our best work, either.

Our brains, bodies and spirits need a break!

We give best when we give from a full cup. Why not pause now, to think about a few ways you can fill your own cup?

2. Get clear about what matters to you

When you know your values, you have guideposts for what you say “Yes” to and what you choose not to do. It makes it easier to set good boundaries, and stop being a people-pleaser (if you are among the countless people-pleasers in the world).

By making better choices, that are aligned with your clear values, your day-to-day happiness and well-being will expand.

Why not think about the key values that matter most to you?

3. Adopt an abundant mindset to open your heart

When we believe in an abundant universe — by turning away from a mindset of scarcity — everything gets better in your life.

I know that this idea may may not be easy for many people to grasp. We live in a fear-driven culture, and most of us grew up in environments that were far from focused on abundance.

But I have seen what happens when I adopted this way of thinking and being in the world, and I see it all the time in the lives of my clients.

When we believe in abundance we share with ease, and we experience a feedback loop of generosity and kindness.

When we expect goodness, by shifting negative thoughts into positive ones and changing our self-talk, our energy changes. Our hearts are open. We feel more love and are fueled by love. People feel great being around us. Good things start happening more often.

And the positive ripple effects grow, too!

How can you try to shift into expecting the best in your day today?

I have tools that can help

I have a free guide called Creating Space for YOU: Easy Small Changes that Can Make a BIG IMPACT, that you can download here. It includes ideas for seemingly simple, doable changes that will do just what the title says — have a big impact on your life and well-being!

Let me know which of the practices you decide to try — and how they help you.

(Note, when you download the guide you’ll be added to my email list — but if you are already on the list and enter the same email address, you won’t get double emails.)

I also help my clients identify their values, and learn to create a more abundant mindset, so that they have more joy and ease in their lives. The impact helps them in remarkable ways.

If you want to talk about how to bolster your well-being in any (or all) of these ways, let’s talk. Email me and we’ll make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

3 life-changing questions to ask now

We are about to say good-bye to 2020.

As eager as we all are to move ahead and leave this challenging year behind, let’s not rush. We have an important opportunity to reflect on 2020 before the turn of the calendar.

After all, when we fail to look back at what we can learn, we lose the opportunity for precious insights that can support us in the future.

Three great questions to ask yourself now

1. What are you proud of?

Acknowledging ourselves is really important — something many of us never do. We need to celebrate things we have accomplished, our resilience in the face of difficulties, ways we have grown over time, and good that we have done.

Spend some time reflecting and writing down all the things this year for which you are proud when you look back at 2020. And don’t skip the small stuff — it all counts!

When you have your list, savor it all. Hold that goodness in your heart and own the pride.

2. What can you let go of?

We all carry limiting stories, grievances, self-critical thinking, resentment, fears, and more that limit us. This is a perfect time to think about what you want to leave behind in 2020.

Write down all the things you want to let go of.

You may see that some things on your list can be easier to stop, while others may be entrenched and hard to let go of. That’s ok.

This is an exercise in awareness. Without awareness, we drift. And when we drift we fail to address changes we want to make.

You can make a note of the items you believe will be fairly easy to drop and put the list where you will see it each day. If you can catch yourself holding onto or returning to any of the items, you’ll have a ready reminder to try and let go.

For the more challenging things you want to drop, you might start a journal and dive into exploring their hold on you, as well as ways you might begin to let go of them, bit by bit.

3. What is your vision for 2021?

Rather than starting the new year as if it’s just another day, this is a perfect time to set a vivid vision for your new year.

I am not talking about making a resolution to exercise more, or stop a bad habit.

Think bigger.

Connect to what your heart desires.

What do you want to create next year?
How do you want to live big?

What are you excited to explore, to test, to step into, to go after?

When we set a vision we bring focus to our lives. And what we focus on is what we get.

It’s not about magical thinking.

Rather, it’s about setting clear intentions and staying committed to the vision — even when that means we need to expand to do new things that are not in our comfort zone.

Give yourself a gift as the year ends

Whether you were showered with gifts during the holidays or not, the gift I am recommending is different.

A magnificent gift you can bestow on yourself now is the gift of time.

Devote some precious time to reflecting on all that you can celebrate as you moved through what was a uniquely difficult year. Move on to considering what you decided you want to leave behind as you turn the corner to a new year. And savor the vision for what you want for yourself in 2021.

And if you are unsure about your vision for 2021, you may want to join me to create a vision board — this is another wonderful gift you can bestow on yourself.

I am excited to lead my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop online, on Sunday, January 17.

No matter where you live, you can join me for a powerful and meaningful experience that will bring you clarity and inspiration for the year you want to create in 2021. Registration is open now!

Wishing you an abundant new year filled with health, joy, love, peace, and all good things.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The perfect week for combining love + creativity

Here we are — the big holiday week of the year has arrived, and it’s also the week we celebrate the Winter Solstice.

As I do not celebrate Christmas, I enjoy seeing the pleasure so many friends experience on this holiday. And I am always glad to rejoice in celebrating the Solstice. While December 21st was the shortest, darkest day of the year, we now begin to enjoy a bit more daylight each day. This always lifts my spirits as we move into a new year.

And what a year this has been. I feel confident saying this is a year we will all remember, and we are all ready to bid adieu.

Now, more than any year in memory, we all need an abundance of light and love!

Make this a week to slow down, relax, and consciously welcome love

Even though we cannot be with friends and family in person as we long to, there are many ways to create connection and share love.

We must be extra-careful to stay safe and keep others safe. But that does not mean we need to feel apart in our hearts.

What new ways of connecting can you create now, that will hold meaning for you and those about whom you care?

While many of us feel “zoomed out” by work meetings, Zoom has proven to be a great way to share a meal, play a game, meet with family members at great distances to laugh together, and do creative projects (from my now-virtual monthly IgNight Creative Evenings to my weekly art-making dates with my grandson).

There are countless ways to create meaningful and memorable connections.

No matter what is happening around us and for us, we always have the power to create

Some of us have moved through the months of the pandemic with more ease than others. Many have suffered terribly. We have all been challenged — and changed.

And, as always, some people in similar situations fair better than others. Those that do best are those who are able to find the most positive frame of mind and the most positive path to pursue.

This is what I call creating our way forward

When things get tough, a creator looks for possibilities that are not obvious.

A creator considers new ways of responding. This can mean new ways of getting support, or new ways of coping with stress — whether it’s through creative expression, by reaching out, by ramping up self-care, by getting out in nature, or anything else. By choosing to create each next step with intention, rather than reacting, amazing things are possible.

A creator tries and tests new approaches. It might be for managing day-to-day life, for running a business or bringing in new streams of income, for setting up ways family members can all cohabit and do their work and learning, or anything else.

A creator keeps an open mind and stays curious. When you ask yourself, “What’s possible?” you are always considering how to find the best path forward.

A creator also looks for wonder and tunes in to gratitude every day.

Approaching your life this way keeps the heart open. When you combine an open heart and an open mind new possibilities show up.

Love + Creativity make a powerful combination

I invite you to bring love and light into your life in as many ways as you can dream up.

All that dreaming is connected to your creative power. You have a bottomless well of creativity. You cannot run out of it, so use it with abandon!

When you are focused on love, and you create with intention, fear stays at bay and joy increases. And who doesn’t want a tremendously joy-filled holiday season?

Start now, and it will be easy to carry this beautiful energy into the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Is it time to turn things around?

It’s already mid-December. I can’t figure out how it snuck up on me so fast!

As we near the end of this intense and challenging year, I am reflecting on the months behind me, and looking ahead at a new year just around the corner.

No matter how this year has unfolded, we have the opportunity to reflect and learn from how we navigated the last months, and consider what we want to create in our lives going forward.

What I see when I look back.

There’s been a lot of opportunity for which I am grateful, and affirmation that I was able to move forward even when unexpected challenges showed up.

In January I launched my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life. My plans for doing bookstore readings and speaking certainly did not materialize as I expected! But I found new ways to spread the word, speaking virtually, reaching out to do podcast interviews, and more.

While different than I had planned, new approaches were not only effective, but enjoyable. And virtual events enabled me to make excellent distant connections.

My painting class at SMFA went virtual in March. By staying committed, even on Zoom I was able to learn, and my work has progressed in ways I was not sure would be possible.

While clients were in a state of suspended animation in the early spring, by May I was supporting new clients who decided there was no time like the present to take charge of their lives and create their futures.

I also used this time to create a new program, Live Big Live! to support the accomplished women I love to coach. This exciting experience proved to be remarkable, and I am thrilled to be offering it again.

While unable to be with my children and grandchildren as usual, we were able to quarantine and briefly be together a few times, and we have a new Facetime ritual that is very special. Zoom calls with extended family have also been a gift that keeps us connected over the miles.

And even having suffered a terrible loss when my mother died this summer, I am moving through the grief with the comfort of feeling her presence in my life in new ways. My connection with my father is richer than ever, too.

I certainly long for life as it was before the pandemic, but I am deeply grateful for all the ways I was able to be resilient.

What lessons are there for you?

When you look back at the last months, what do you observe? Was there struggle? Were you able to create new ways to cope and thrive? There may well have been ups and downs.

Whether the year has had a lot of challenges or went well, can you look back now and glean insights? Can those insights help you move into 2021 with more resourcefulness and agency?

There’s no time like the present to start living big!

While we can learn from the past, dwelling on the past is counterproductive. We can only move forward, and there is always opportunity to create in new ways. Our future is created by us — when we take action, and also when we choose to do nothing.

If you choose to act, rather than live with the consequences of drifting, I am happy to share several good opportunities.

I am excited to be joining my long-time coach and colleague, Peleg Top, to lead a virtual Vision Board Party on Sunday, December 13. Register to join us to get clear about your vision for the new year and make a fabulous vision board to inspire you! (All proceeds are being donated to charity.)

I will also be a featured speaker on the Anchoring the Consciousness of Oneness World Summit, that is focused on the concept of “oneness” in mind, body and spirit. The Summit runs December 21 to 27, and by registering you can access the content through April 2021.

And, you can make a bigger commitment to yourself and your future, by taking a deep dive with me and a remarkable group of women to create a clear vision for your 2021, and dynamically creating that future. The next Live Big Live! — my new signature program — is about to begin. Check out what the first group had to say about their experience.

If you want to hear more, let’s have a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the fit for you. I’ll be glad to help you gain perspective about what’s limiting you now, and what’s possible in your life, to see your path to living the life you yearn for. (Book with me today, as we're embarking soon!)

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.