What does “commitment” mean to you?

Maybe you are a bit of a word nerd like I am.

The word “commitment” comes up in my life and my work with clients remarkably often, so I decided to took a look at the definition.

Here’s how the Cambridge Dictionary defines “commitment”:

• a promise or firm decision to do something

• willingness to give your time and energy to a job, activity, or something that you believe in

• something that you must do or deal with that takes your time

This is a powerful word, and one I do not take lightly.

A promise is something serious and sacred. 

A firm decision is not always easy to make, but when you do make one it’s a big deal.

Willingness entails embracing the unknown and engaging in the work to make your decision become a reality.

And the process nearly always takes time.

We juggle lots of commitments

The accomplished women I work with are typically loaded with commitments.

They do work that is important and often demanding.

Most have families that entail commitments.

Many volunteer in a range of ways. 

And many want to make (or try and keep) commitments to themselves. They aim to focus on self-care, or passion projects, or more space for joy, and many find those commitments at the bottom of the list.

What true commitment looks like.

Every commitment is a promise, and there are only so many promises we can make and keep.

The key is to choose your commitments based on what is really important to you, and what is realistic for you now — so you can keep the promises. 

Choosing your commitments with care is the key to seeing them through.

The commitments you make will vary in size. The mix has to add up to what you can not only do, but do with joy.

Here are some examples of commitments I have witnessed that may inspire you.

1. Finding a new direction

More than one client I’ve worked with realized that burnout was taking a toll that was intolerable. The first commitment each made was to find a new path that would be fulfilling and sustainable — both personally and financially. Next came a willingness to embark on creating something new. Learning curves were daunting at times. Determination, patience and support were needed to launch new consulting practices. The outcomes have been tremendous for all of them.

2. Creating what their hearts desire

Two clients are leaders with demanding roles, in positions they care about and are great at. And, both have a deep passion (and talent!) for work that is quite different from their “day jobs”. Both are committed to nurturing and building the businesses they are truly passionate about. It entails careful decision-making and focus, as they honor what they truly love and plan to transition to consulting for their organizations. They will then make the work they are deeply passionate about their primary professional focus.

3. Reshaping work and life

Several entrepreneurs have realized they want to reshape their businesses to be more fulfilling, sustainable and lucrative. They have committed to getting clear about what they truly want and exploring avenues for change. The decisions are big and the executions need to be carefully and courageously carried out. It is exciting to see them commit to the process and reap the rewards.

Choose your commitments

Consider commitments in many sizes and flavors.

Maybe you want to commit to something small and meaningful, such as getting outdoors to walk every day, rain or shine.

Maybe you want to commit to withdrawing (with kindness) from things you said “Yes” to but realize they are not aligned for you, or you said yes to please someone, or you know it is not realistic for you to follow though with.

Maybe your new commitment will be to gracefully say “No” to anything that will overload you.

After you choose a small new commitment to bring into your life, consider the bigger commitments you long to make.

Don’t be shy.

You, too, can make meaningful new commitments and live your biggest life!

What if you took a closer look at your life now?

I realize, after nearly two weeks, that I have new awareness as I am living in Paris. Some of what I am observing today are small and subtle things I did not consider much before I embarked on this trip.

Among the things I am reflecting on now, are:

The joy of curiosity

I am appreciating curiosity more deeply than ever. Living in a new place there are things all around that are not usual for me, and they invite inquiry. I want to bring this keen curiosity home with me, as it opens insights and thinking and spawns ideas in wonderful ways.

The joy of exploring

There is daily delight as I head to new places and follow my nose, research origins and stories, and make small discoveries along the way. Opportunities abound, and I realize that I don't need to be in a new city to infuse my life with this joy.

Looking at the world through fresh eyes

Seeing this way has awakened my heart and provided new perspectives. Being in a new city makes it particularly easy and pleasant to observe the world through a new lens, and I realize its possible to see this way anywhere, any time.

Sometimes you need to get past the annoying parts

Alongside the pleasures I mentioned, some daily tasks are less than fun. There are things you need to fix or figure out. There are conundrums to sort through and deadlines to meet, when you’d rather be out and about. And there are challenges communicating across six or more time zones.

Things like these are always in the mix. The key is to deal with them and move on, without letting them sour your day or dampen your experience.

We can build daily awareness

As you read what I shared, did you pause and think about ways that you bring curiosity into your life, or find joy exploring new places, or reflect on how you look at the world?

How about your reaction to thinking about what you do when annoying things show up in your day?

Perhaps you feel inspired to think about changes you might aim to make in your life now.

Awareness can inspire a desire for change

Some changes you decide to undertake may be small and subtle, and some may be more significant.

It is always possible to change — even to make changes that seem challenging.

When you realize that you have agency in your life — that you have control over your actions, and their consequences — you can do more than you may even think is possible right now.

You can choose to do things new ways, to see with new perspectives, to respond differently than in the past.

It begins with awareness, thought, and the decision to make a change.

Then you can take small, deliberate action.

Notice that I said small.

Its the small consistent steps that really count. Rather than aiming to make sweeping changes fast (which typically leads to frustration and even abandoning your efforts), choose to take small steps and stick with them. You will be amazed at how they add up, and become your new way of being more easily over time.

The changes you make matter

When you live with awareness and make change, you reap many benefits. And you can can expand your efforts over time, building new change on the foundation of previous change.

And, you model the changes you make for everyone around you.

If, for instance, you bring more curiosity to what you do each day, or you move through annoyances with more ease and grace, your energy, and the outcomes of your actions will be noticed. 

The people around you are sure to be inspired by what they see and feel. And some may choose to  take action in the same directions, or the directions that are right for them

Before long, all of these changes ripple out, likely far beyond what you can even imagine today.

You can start now

I invite you to choose one small way you want to bring a change into your life.

Next, think of one really small way to introduce that change into your day. (For instance, if you choose to see the world through fresh eyes, consider something on your schedule for the day, and set the intention to consider it with a fresh perspective before moving forward.)

After taking the action, or later in your day, pause to reflect on what you tried and how it went. Then choose a small way to practice the change again the next day, and repeat the process.

After a week, you will have some good observations. You can think about how to expand on the kind of actions and situations that will support you to making the change you seek a natural, ongoing way of being.

If you are looking for ideas for change that will light up your life, and actions and practices to help you make those changes, check out my book. 

And if you want to consider having a guide to support you, reach out and we can make a date to talk about the changes you want to bring into your life, and how you can create the truly fulfilling life you dream of.

Email me, or find a date on my calendar.

Are you ready for take-off?

If you read saw my post last week, you know that I’m taking off on an adventure today. I will be living in Paris for a whole month, and am enormously excited as I embark on this experience!

There's something magical about the moment we start a new adventure.

Whether it is traveling to explore and have new experiences in special places, or when you start anything new and meaningful, great opportunities await you.

This is a perfect time to consider the adventures you want to create in 2023.

What are you ready for now?

The fresh new year is full of vast possibilities!

What projects — related to your work and your personal life — do you feel called to make your focus this year?

What are you ready to start?

Is there a dream, or project, or initiative that you want to get off the ground?

Think about business-or work-related efforts, and also personal initiatives.

For a personal initiative, perhaps you want to start a new friendship, or create a new dynamic with family members, or plan a new garden so you can have fresh flowers and produce to enjoy as the year unfolds.

Also consider you.

Is there a new way of being you want to cultivate? Do you want to start showing up in the world in a new way?

Perhaps it’s time to start creating more space for your wellbeing — like reading, or expressing yourself through music or drawing, or pursuing a particular interest?

I’d be happy to send you a lovely guide, Creating Space for YOU to help you do that with ease, Simply email me and I'll get it right off to you. (You can forward it to friends, too, so you can start making great changes together.)

What have you begun that you want to accelerate the pace on now?

Perhaps something you started stalled out, or had to be put aside for some reason.

Is this the time to bring renewed focus and energy toward getting it moving with more velocity?

Think about things that might fall into this category that are related to your professional life and your personal life. Which one feels most meaningful or exciting to get moving?

Returning your attention — and setting clear intensions — to something that your care about that was put aside for any number of reasons will be very satisfying.

Make a plan for what your first small step can be. And put a date on your calendar when you will take that step.

What do you dream of launching now?

There may be a new project or enterprise you’ve been thinking about and you feel ready to plan to make that dream a reality.

How will you lay the foundation?

Who will you talk to for input or advice?

What research will you do?

Who might you invite into the process?

What first steps will you take to move it forward this year?

The choices you make now matter

You have the power to create the reality you truly wish for. 

How is that possible?

Start with willingness to transform and grow, to embrace the mystery and go deep, and to engage in the process of creating the life you want.

Add belief — belief that you matter. Belief that you deserve to put yourself first, knowing that when you make yourself a priority you perform at your best and are better for everyone else in your orbit. And when you embrace all of your creative power, you naturally believe in every possibility. 

Dive in to find clarity about what you truly desire, what really matters most. What will you make your focus, and why? When you mine your heart and listen to your intuition you will make clear choices.

Then make commitments. It’s necessary and worthwhile to create structure and space in your life to take action to make what you care about your reality. And commitment to cultivate creativity of every kind. This commitment to yourself and to the ongoing focus and effort required to implement change in your life will lead to remarkable growth, satisfaction, and joy.

Whatever you choose to set your sights on will will be fueled by new clarity and energy. 

If you want to talk about the year (and life) you dream of, and what may be holding you back from realizing that vision, I would be happy for us to talk.

Although I’ll be away, I am making time for 5 Live Big Breakthrough Calls this month — and there's no cost to you. I’m happy to support you in gaining perspective and new insights as you step into a year that’s full of potential for adventures of all kinds.

Email me and we’ll find a time that works in both of our time zones. 

Are you missing the joy of the season?

Are you able to give yourself a break?

Can you let go of expectations?

Think about the perceived expectations of others that occupy your thoughts, as well as the expectations you impose on yourself.

This is territory I know well, and at this time of year, when the world around us is in a whirl, thinking about all of those expectations, and which you may want to let go of, can be a great gift to give yourself.

What expectations are adding pressure now?  

Let’s look at work

Many business executives, entrepreneurs, and other professionals are focused on year-end results. For some that includes closing as much business as possible in the last weeks of the year. For some there are projects to complete before the calendar turns.

While those expectations can be internal, they often come from bosses, investors, clients or shareholders.

For those feeling expectations like these, there is some relief in knowing that we can muscle through a few weeks and start anew in the new year.

Next, let’s think about the holidays

This season impacts people in many different ways.

Some are fully into the holiday party scene. They love decorating, hosting and gifting. Shopping for or planning great outfits, salon trips for fresh haircuts and manicures, are a joy for them.

For many, this season feels heavier.

They bristle at the expectations to be merry, look perfect, set a photo-worthy table and serve or contribute amazing food. They find expectations to give a perfect gift to everyone on a long list to be stressful — emotionally, financially, and physically. There are often a host of family expectations that weigh people down.

Most of these expectations can be a combination of external and internal.

And then there are all of the “shoulds” in our heads 

Let’s start with the expectation many have that we should feel happy at this time of year. That’s a tall order, even for those who are typically upbeat.

Maybe you feel that you should show up — for everything. Parties of all kinds, school programs, work events, neighborhood gatherings, religious services, family get-togethers, local ceremonies, cookie-swaps and more.

Maybe you feel you should — or must — shower everyone with cards and gifts. And if you think that gift or card should be fancy and expensive, or should be made by hand, that adds handsomely to the pressure.

Perhaps you feel expectations for how you should show up or should perform. This can be because you are a woman, or a minority, or the traditional host, or the person who does not align squarely with the values of others in a family or group, or any number of other reasons.

And then there’s the should of perfection — doing it all and doing it all perfectly. This is an especially heavy burden that many of us carry 365 days a year.

What if it could be different?

If the thought of any, or many of these expectations gives you a sinking feeling, I invite you to think about the power you have to let go of expectations — whether they are expectations you perceive from others, or expectations you have for yourself.

Can you imagine how it would feel to be free of them?

The first step in finding that freedom is to be aware of which expectations weigh you down, and decide that you want to make a change.

When you are clear about both the expectation(s), and have considered the source, try these steps.

1. Ask yourself if you feel deserving of your true desires — the desires that are in opposition to one or more expectations. Can you feel ok about not [fill in a blank from the expectations described above, or something I did not enumerate].

This may be easier for some than others, and I do not suggest it’s as easy as simply saying “yes” if that feels untrue.

If you feel deserving, you are on your way to dropping the pressure of the expectation.

If this idea is a challenge for you, spend some time celebrating all of your special qualities. Ask people who love you what they most admire about you. See if you can feel as deserving of yourself as you’d want someone you love to feel about themselves.

2. When you feel you deserve to do things the way you wish/if you wish, this step may take some courage, but you can state your preferences.

This is your opportunity to gently bow out of attending an event, or choose to get someone a small thoughtful gift rather than break the bank, or choose not to care if your table looks “perfect” — or like someone else’s idea of “perfect.”

Start with something small to test this out, and continue to let go of expectations one by one.

3. After each effort, be sure to celebrate yourself.

Savor the space, the ease, the pleasure you get to experience.

Then focus on gratitude — for yourself, and the gift you gave yourself by letting go of an expectation you are free of.

Sending you much love for this holiday season.

Are you settling or choosing (the people in your life)?

During the long holiday weekend I had time to explore a topic that’s been showing up a lot.

I hope this longer-than-usual post will spark some fresh ideas for you.

With Thanksgiving behind us and looking ahead to upcoming holiday gatherings, why not think about the people with whom you spend time?

Who is in your close circle?

Most of us have a close set of relationships, and the people with whom we spend most of our time — in our immediate and extended families, in our professional settings, and with friends and neighbors — is relatively limited.

Those with whom we have regular contact are typically ongoing relationships, and new people only occasionally move into our sphere.

If you are fortunate, the people in that close sphere are supportive, positive and lovely to be with.

If you find yourself in family and/or work settings with people who do not make you feel happy, or with whom you wish there was more meaningful connection, you may long for new people in your life who are more fun to be with, more kind, or more interesting to be around.

What many of us do not consider is that we can consciously choose to be in relationship with people who inspire and light us up — to augment our great relationships, and to balance out more challenging relationships when those need to be sustained.

My path to more connections

My circle of close connections was small for many years. In my 30s and 40s, it was rare for me to make new close personal friends or meet other business people with whom I could engage at a meaningful, personal level.

There were fewer professional or networking organizations then, and very few where I found connections with the depth I was seeking.

Happily, that changed — and in ways I was not expecting.

I have had the good fortune to have connected to remarkable people beyond those in my immediate circles in the last 20 years.

And in the last 3 years the new connections have been especially exciting!

When I first joined The Boston Club (when I owned my first business), I was thrilled to meet so many smart, interesting women with whom I was able to make meaningful connections — both professionally and personally. In fact, that’s where I met some of the women I now count among my closest friends.

And in the work I’ve been doing with my coach for the last three years, I am part of a remarkable group of leaders who all do bold, exciting work in the world. They not only inspire me, they are there to support me — whether I am creating something new or dealing with something challenging.

Inspiring relationships catalyze big new ideas

The enriching relationships I now enjoy inspired me to shape two ways to provide deep connection, support, and inspiration for my clients.

In my Live Big Live! program women come together and find clarity for their vision of the near future, and then make a plan for how they will live into that vision. The impact of the shared group experience is always wonderful to witness as exciting breakthroughs are achieved.

And a number of clients opt for ongoing coaching support in a close-knit group. This helps them achieve true creative mastery in and of their lives.

In addition to wonderful ways they connect with one another virtually, I have longed to bring these women together in person for a deep immersive experience — and it was finally safe to do that this fall.

The weekend before Thanksgiving I took them on our first Creation Vacation together! At our long weekend retreat in the Berkshires we deeply explored play and creation. We shared adventures and heart-expanding conversations. (Scroll down to see a few photos of the fun.)

The weekend provided a magical way for everyone to experience being with other women who light them up, who see them in ways they cannot see themselves, who are there to celebrate with them, and also available to provide support without judgement.

Time and again I have seen that when any of the women in a close group like this experiences an “aha moment”, a breakthrough, or they share a success, everyone else feels inspired and excited to bring her gifts forward.

And when someone in the group is navigating something tricky (or going through something really tough), the others are there to offer support. The same is available in return to each when she needs it.

You can choose to be with more great people

You get to actively seek out and choose great people to bring into your life.

Ask yourself who you want to connect to.

Do you want new professional connections — in your current field or in a field you are eager to explore? Do you want to connect to leaders you can learn from, to mentors, to role models? Do you want more peer connections with people who are willing to be open, vulnerable and share serious ideas?

Perhaps you want to meet new people with whom you can pursue a favorite activity — a hobby, a passion, or a particular interest.

Maybe you yearn for new personal relationships — to have more close friends, to find a romantic partner, to support a child or adolescent on their path to maturity, or connect to someone from a different culture.

When you have that awareness it will be easier to think about where to look for those people.

The magic of meaningful connections

Once you have the joy of special new connections in your life, the impact will touch everything you do.

New ideas and enthusiasm will show up. New energy will be palpable. You may surprise yourself by taking action in ways you cannot envision today.

Will things like this happen instantly? Will everything be easy and pleasurable?

Of course not.

But you will have more new ideas, more positive experiences, and more support for everything you do.

And who knows? You may well be a catalyst to initiate another circle of connections, where others can connect in special, life-changing ways.

And, here are a few photos taken at Creation Vacation:

WE CREATED PLAYFULLY…

we went on an evening adventure…

we tackled puzzles…

and we created in the kitchen!

How to connect to your magic and light up your life

Something interesting happens when I mention the title of my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life in a conversation with someone I have just met.

More often than not, people look me in the eye and say, “Oh, I'm not creative.”

I am on a mission to dispel that common belief.

I want to help people understand, and experience, that they are filled with creativity. I also want them to know how powerful their creativity is.

We all came into the world filled with creativity

Yes, creativity is in all of us. It’s a kind of magic we all possess.

When we are small, and given some crayons and paper, we do not fret at a blank page. We do not worry about what to draw. We pick up a color that appeals to us and start making marks.

When I observe my 3-year-old granddaughter as she draws, and ask what she’s drawing, she tells me incredible stories about the scenes (that look to me like excited scribbles).

Whether she is serious and focused, or laughing, she is fully engaged in expressing herself. And it is clear that she loves it.

When we, as adults, tap that creative energy — or expand and accelerate it, for those who do feel creative — we give ourselves a huge gift. We connect to the magic inside.

Creating is not just for “special people”

The opportunities to create are vast.

While many feel intimidated because they think they are not “talented”, I’m here to bust that myth. You do not need to be a virtuoso musician, a great actor, a brilliant writer, or a gifted dancer to create!

All forms of self-expression are terrific.

Do you love to putter in a garden or build in a workshop? Do you like to cook or make things with your hands? Are you a visionary thinker, or love embarking on adventures to explore in nature? Do you like to play with paint or clay?

Any and all of these ways of creating are fantastic.

What happens when you create

When you create in any way with a feeling of curiosity and freedom, when you are able to to play and be surprised, you connect to your desire and something incredible happens.

Your spirit opens.

You get out of your head (where most of us spend most of our time) and connect to your heart and your intuition.

And you make discoveries.

The discovery may be about new ways to produce a result that pleases you. Or you may discover that something you thought you’d enjoy was not that great, and move on to new ways to explore.

The most important discovery?

Connecting to new parts of yourself and experiencing more of who you are.

And when that happens, your expanded, lit-up spirit can show up in other parts of your life.

I witness this phenomenon all the time with my clients. They show up differently at work, and great things happen. They navigate relationships with more insight and less reactivity. They look and feel alive in remarkable ways!

I rejoice with them as they open to and share more and more of their greatness.

You can start today

I invite you to do one thing (or one new thing) today to express yourself.

It may be simple and you may do it for a mere few minutes, but choose one thing and go for it.

Maybe you will share it, or you may choose to have a private experience. Maybe it will be exciting, or comfortable, or perhaps it will feel awkward.

In any case, take a moment to think about how it felt to create.

Consider how it felt to experiment with new flavors rather than following a recipe. Or put a small arrangement of objects on a shelf in a pleasing way. Or pull out an instrument you haven’t played in ages, and your response to the sounds you made.

Then commit to creating in some way again tomorrow.

In time, you will not have to plan to create. You will find your creative spirit showing up all over the place!

The more that you create in these ways, the more you will come to understand the power of creativity to support you to show up fully. In time, this expansive magical feeling can be a regular part of your daily experience.

And it is a game-changer to show up fully in the world.

Do it for yourself, and do it for all of us. We need the gifts, the fully expressed genius, that only you can contribute.

Imagine the impact we will have when we all live big.

(I would be delighted for you to share the ways you love to create, and new ways you bring creativity into your life. And please share the impact it has for you. Leave a comment or email me.)

If you’re a hard worker, this is for you

The accomplished women (and men) I speak to nearly always believe they need to work hard.

They believe they must push themselves relentlessly to achieve their goals, to meet the expectations of others (and themselves, too, in many cases), to achieve status, authority and recognition.

Our culture, and the work cultures in which many of us find ourselves, emphasize, celebrate and even glorify hard work.

For most of my life, I believed I needed to work hard — and I did. I also believed that things had to be hard to do.

Doing things that were “hard” seemed to ensure the outcome would be meaningful. Doing those “hard” things also made me feel that I was good enough.

It’s time to bust the myth

I am on a mission to help people everywhere to live big — to live their best lives, to take action with clear intention, to bring all of their greatness forward, and do it without sacrificing their physical wellbeing, their energy or their spirits.

If you want to create a truly fulfilling life where you fully shine, and do it without sacrifice, a great place to focus is on shifting your thinking about how hard it all has to be.

It took me decades to come to new, clear insights, after testing and living and working in new ways.

My hope is that we can all shift away from believing the myth about things needing to be hard.

“It has to be hard” or “It can be easy”?

Then:

I smirked at the ideas that things could be easy!

I not only believed I had to work hard, I believed that most of my important tasks were going to be hard to see through to completion.

When the time frames were tight, or the tasks were daunting, or the scope was intimidating, I told myself how hard it was going to be.

I gritted my teeth and pushed myself.

And, sure enough, it nearly always felt hard. I exhausted myself with all of that pushing.

Now:

I have tested and experienced and benefited from major re-frames to my old habituated thinking.

I have also learned to give myself some grace, and slow down.

My first coach insisted that if I slowed down I would get more done, which I resisted for a very long time. And, when I finally tested it, I found that he was right!

This is the new approach I have learned to use.

• I am selective and clear about the tasks that really matter, and let go of, defer, or delegate the rest.

• I think carefully about the deadlines I create and commit to.

• With fewer things to do I am focused rather than feeling splattered.

• No matter how challenging a project appears to be, if I find myself thinking "It’s going to be hard," I consciously change the message in my head to, “What if it can be easy?”

• I also tell myself, “There’s an abundance of time to do this.”

• And, I make sure I am well rested as I start on the work. This helps me to be focused and clear.

I honor myself with these new practices.

I savor the opportunity to choose what I will do with care. (Yes, that means saying “no” to many things that sound enticing, which takes practice.)

When I do not push, I experience far less stress and do not exhaust myself. I enjoy more energy and I nurture my spirit when I live and work this way.

And the cherry on top is that I am able to get better work done — on time, and often in less time.

All of these results have been life-changing for me.

New practices take time to build

If you read my post from last week, about slowing down, you know that making changes like these is not a one-and-done effort.

I sometimes slide back and need to return to the fundamentals. I get focused and reinforce good practices in order to build stronger habits, time and again. This is true for most people.

It’s when when we build awareness, try and test, and keep returning to new and better ways of thinking and living, that we experience true growth — as well as more ease and joy.

My wonderful coaches, mentors and teachers, past and present, have imparted their wisdom, support and love to help me learn and expand in tremendous ways. I am filled with gratitude for all of them.

I am also grateful for the wonderful support I receive from the people doing the work alongside me, in a fabulous mastermind I am part of.

And I am inspired by the courageous work my clients are doing in their lives, and honored to support them to step into all of their greatness.

What about you?

I invite you to step up and engage in new ways of thinking and try new practices that can help you to live your most fulfilling life.

See if you find that the ideas I share today have impact for you.

And if you want to talk about what your challenges are and the dreams you have for the future, I'd be happy to hear about them. I set aside time each week for a few conversations like this. (And if you are curious, you can ask what support can look like in your life.)

Email me and we’ll make a date.

Use your voice to create the future you want

In the United States election season is upon us.

November 8, Election Day, is two weeks away, but voting has already begun in many places — with mail-in voting and in-person early voting.

We each have an important opportunity to have our voices heard. Whether we choose to vote now, or on Election day, the important thing is to be sure you exercise this precious right.

In addition to being a “civic duty” — which I take very seriously — I believe there is another big reason to vote.

When you live big you use your voice

When you speak your truth rather than staying silent (for fear of being judged, or because you feel intimidated, or because you fear you are not smart enough or not good enough, or any other reason) you live big in an important way.

If, instead, you stay silent, we miss becoming aware of the meaningful contribution that you, and only you, can make.

Whether you use your voice in a quiet conversation or shouting from the rooftops, your voice matters.

And voting each November offers you a special way to use your voice.

Use your voice and step into your power

Using your voice gives you influence.

That influence may be small — or may seem small in the moment — but it is important.

And we often have much more influence (on situations, on people around us, and on broader forces in the world) than we are aware of in the moment.

That is powerful.

When each of us votes, we have individual and collective power.

We need your voice now

We have all heard about people who are tuned out, or think their vote doesn’t really matter, or say it’s too hard to figure out the issues or get to the polls.

The truth that when we make a small effort, we can each cast our vote and make our claim for the leaders we believe will work to shape the world we want to live in.

Our votes can protect and restore rights that matter to us — the rights of women are especially imperiled now, and many other rights are also in danger.

Our votes will impact policies to turn around climate change, that threatens us now and is crucial for our future.

Our votes will impact policies to improve the quality of life for countless people who are underserved and needy.

Our votes can support education free from censorship.

Our votes can help right the wrongs of racial injustice, and ensure the future rights of all people to equal treatment under the law, and their rights to vote without unjust barriers.

From the local level to the national level, our votes in this election truly matter in countless ways.

Let’s all be heard

If you don’t yet know where or how you can vote, or what is on your local ballot, check it out now.

Find good, neutral, accurate sources for information about candidates and questions on the ballot rather than listening to the distorted hype — on all sides of every issue and characterization of candidates — being pedaled on commercials and in social media.

Which candidates and what ballot questions match your values and your vision for the future?

I envision people young and old, people of all races and gender identification, all socio-economic standing, all religions and ethnicities, living in a society that values freedom, equality, human rights, and a protected and restored environment.

I hope you will join me in voting for that future.

Are you committed to living your best life?

Last week I spent a day in deep thought about the way I lived in the past year, and considering how I intend to live in the coming year.

Yom Kippur (the second of the Jewish high holy days) is a sober day, but it is also one that always inspires me to consider what I am committing to now.

It’s relatively easy to devote one day to such thoughts and the commitments they entail (even while a day of fasting is challenging and tiring).

But what will all of those thoughts become a week from now?

What about six months from now, and a year from now?

The reality we create reflects our commitments

How will I look back and assess the year when October 2023 rolls around?

This is a truly sobering question.

It requires that I focus on changes to make.

It means clearly choosing paths, as I commit to staying on some I’ve been on, moving away from others, and seeking new directions.

It means considering how I want to show up in my life.

What ways of acting and thinking will I aim to sustain, and what do I feel called to change?

What do I feel excited to create?

The life I reflect back on a year from now will demonstrate my commitment to the actions required to make my intentions a reality.

Commitment = action and sustained dedication

I do not make commitments lightly. I know that they require meaningful, sustained effort.

Making a commitment means not only deciding what I intend to do, but actually taking action — and continuing to take consistent action.

For example, if I commit to developing a new habit, I need to practice it. I can start with introducing small changes. And I know the key is to stick with them and expand on them until the desired state becomes my new normal.

Some habits can shift quickly. I am also aware that many habit changes require longer commitment, and a willingness to resume the focus when the inevitable setbacks interrupt progress.

Another example is choosing how to focus my time and attention. I am considering some activities to let go of — to make space for things I have neglected, or for things I’ve thought about but never started, or for new things that intrigue me now.

By clearly choosing and committing, and staying mindfully in action, I know I can make progress.

It may not be “perfect” every step of the way, and that’s ok.

I will get help when needed. I have tools to turn to when I am unsure of my next steps or veer off-course and need to recommit. I know I can always create new ways forward.

The vision I set will support me to stay on track.

What changes do you want to make?

What changes will make a difference in your wellbeing — physical, emotional, and spiritual?

What do you want to change to make a relationship stronger?

What do you want to start that is calling you? (And will you stop doing something to make space for it?)

In what ways do you yearn to expand — to show up in a bigger way, more authentically, less fearfully, and with more love?

What are you called to do or create that will make the world better? Are there actions you want to take in support of issues that deeply matter to you?

Do not underestimate your ability to impact the world.

When we all show up as our best selves, and commit to taking consistent, courageous action that is aligned with our values and our hearts, our efforts have ripple effect that are world-changing, even as they are life-changing for us.

What transformation looks like in real time

Can you recall witnessing magic? Not a magician performing elegant tricks — actual magic. I had that experience last week.

I witnessed the magic of seeing lives transforming in front of me over three days.

There was no sleight of hand — this was true transformation.

The transformation was powered by deep personal exploration and creative expression. Love and trust provided the engine.

All of this happened at the Fall Live Big Live! retreat that I was honored to lead. I want to share this experience, because the event offers insights for all of us.

Transformation requires the right conditions

We did not show up on Day 1 of the retreat and dive right in. The women in the program had a foundation of preparation over a number of weeks, that primed them to make personal discoveries and thus be prepared for the processes they would move through at the retreat.

They had support and guidance along the way. Most of all there was an abundance of love and trust and generosity in this group, as everyone progressed to make her own discoveries and declarations.

The remarkable women who embarked on our journey were willing to show up in the preparation period, and then devote three days to go deep together. Some traveled to be there. Some arranged and rearranged their schedules to make it happen.

They arrived prepared to define a clear vision for what matters to them in the next part of their lives.

This is what mattered for these women

What matters most for one woman entails showing up fully and openly, with confidence in what she has to say and with belief in her potential to influence direction within her organization.

For another it means launching a new business — fleshing out the offering and stepping into making it a reality.

For one it means getting clear on her priorities and what to focus on and pursue in a portfolio of varied work arenas.

For one it means getting support and focusing in on the best way to manage a successful career and business that is fraught with stress, so she can keep clear of sacrificing her happiness and physical wellbeing.

For all it entails putting themselves at the center of the equation, as they focus on relationships, their health and wellbeing, and honoring their spirits.

Each woman looked with a sharp eye at the challenges she grapples with. Each dove into how to keep from being tripped up by limiting stories and beliefs. Each now has true belief in what is possible, and that belief is built on a solid foundation of self-love.

And they each committed to defining the specific ways they will live in the next 90 days to make their visions a reality.

They left the retreat with a plan and a full heart ready to live into the plan.

Transformation is not magic

Just as a caterpillar does not magically become a butterfly, the transformations I witnessed did not happen with a wave of a magic wand.

Caterpillar actually develop a chrysalis — a shell inside of which each caterpillar dissolves into a liquid mass. That is the material from which they start to construct each body part of the eventual butterfly they will become in the process of metamorphosis.

When ready, the formed butterfly cracks through the shell of the chrysalis to unfurl its wings and fly.

The women at the Live Big Live! retreat went through a stage of breaking down the old parts of themselves they no longer want and need.

They focused on the attributes they want to carry forward and amplify, and the aspirations they claim.

They committed to a vision of the women they each want to become, and what that will mean for each of them. I witnessed them feeling ready to soar!

The process felt magical — to them, and to me as I saw it unfold — even as the process was based on a carefully constructed methodology.

In their own words

Here are a few remarks that were made at the end of the retreat.

“You helped me work through so much. It was such a joy to be the recipient of what you created.”

“I needed the encouragement you gave me! I felt loved by you and the entire group.”

“Your quiet and powerful leadership, that came from a place of relaxed, deeply felt love, pulled me through my stress to a place of focus and clarity.”

”How special to be in a room full of wonderfully powerful leaders.”

Scroll down to see some of the final creative pieces that express the insights of the retreat experience for these women. (The collages were made on the last afternoon of the retreat.)

Questions to ask yourself now

What do you want, that will make the next part of your life truly fulfilling? Maybe an answer will pop quickly to mind. Maybe you are unsure about what you truly desire.

What limits you? Do you lack confidence? Are you afraid to be fully and authentically yourself? Maybe you have a vision that is smaller than what you truly yearn for.

I invite you to honor yourself and tap the desire in your heart. Or, if that desire feels elusive, to take steps to discover it.

Most of all, I invite you to feel deserving of your best possible life.

And if you may want a guide to help you make a faster and easier transformation, I would be glad to explore these questions with you.

We can talk, and if the next Live Big Live! program might be a fit for you, we can explore that together.

A meaningful moment to focus on love

If you have read my book, you’ll recall that I devoted a chapter to Love, and propose that loving more is an important way to Live Big.

I believe that love is enormously powerful — love for others, as well as cultivating a practice of self-love.

And, it’s not always easy to lead with love, or to feel that much love in our day-to-day lives.

But this past weekend I was surrounded by profound love. It felt like swimming in love, and it was glorious.

What happens when we have a full immersion experience

I attended an intimate wedding. My cousin was remarrying after being widowed for five years. Not only has she found a fabulous life partner, the event brought multiple families together and we all shared in the magic.

Her family, his family, and the family of her deceased first husband — including four generations — all came together (along with dear friends) to celebrate.

The joy, delight and sweetness of the experience was magical. And the afterglow has been marvelous. Every experience since (including major snafus with our air travel home) has felt lighter and easier as the loving energy continues to be strong.

I am inspired to create more opportunities for abundant love to fill my heart and the hearts of others.

What happens when we choose a year of love

Sunday night at sundown was the start of the Jewish holiday, Rosh Hashanah, when we mark the start of the Jewish New Year.

(If you are unfamiliar with the two high holidays, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, my friend and colleague Victoria Nessen recently shared an excellent article you may want to read.)

Following the 24-hour observance of Rosh Hashanah we spend 10 days reflecting on the past year and thinking about where we may have missed the mark. On Yom Kippur (that begins at sundown on October 4 this year) we fast, repent, and vow to live a more righteous life in the year ahead.

The opportunity to live a life that is fueled by love is an ideal I am striving for.

I was inspired by the words of Rabbi Yael, in her A Way In Jewish Mindfulness email last week, and am glad to share her wisdom with you:

You stand here with all those you love,
And with all those with whom you deeply disagree.

You stand here today with earth and all beings,
To cross over into a renewed relationship
With the Unfolding Mystery of All Life. (Deut. 29:9-14)

How do we cross? How do we enter the New Year?

The Infinite Life Force, commands:
Go with Love.
Love with all your heart and with all your soul,
And walk in the ways of love. (Deut. 30:16)

The soul trembles,
It churns. It cries: Love in the face of all this?

This is not too great a task for you,
The Infinite responds,
It is in your mouth and heart to do. (Deut 30:14)

Choose love.
Love where you can. Love where you are able.
Love those you love with all your heart, soul and strength.
Love the trees, sky, rivers and rocks.
Let this loving make you strong.

There will be times and places where it will be impossible to love.
Let that be.
There is plenty of opportunity to exercise and expand our capacity to love.

As we lift our eyes to a New Year,
The Torah calls: Choose to act from and for love.
For the sake of your children’s, children’s, children,
For the sake of all beings,
For the sake of all life,
Choose to act from and for love. (Deut 30:19-20)

I am deeply moved by this teaching. I believe we can all choose to act from love, and for love. And the more we are able to do so, the better our lives will be.

Will you join me in loving more?

Whether or not you celebrate the Jewish New Year, we all step into new possibilities each day.

We can always endeavor to live our best lives with keen awareness. We can be mindful and choose love.

It is certainly a practice that requires commitment. The more we practice living with love as a driver, the sooner it will become our natural way of being.

Will it be easy? Will any of us be perfect, always loving? Of course not. But as we continue to choose and act from love, the impact is bound to be big, for us and for the world.

Just as the gathering at my cousin’s wedding filled each of us with immense joy, I wish you a sweet year ahead and a heart filled to the brim with love and happiness.

Finding the magic of motivation

Sometimes things are hard. We find ourselves facing obstacles. We hit setbacks. We need to cope with stress or illness.

And sometimes things feel hard when we really want something and are on our way to achieving it.

Here’s an example that may remind you of an experience in your life.

I am working with a client who is launching a new website for a business she is reviving after life events diverted her for a few years. It had been a successful business, and she feels ready and eager to resume it.

In fact, she has inventory waiting to sell again, and she has new offerings ready to produce.

She has already invested in having a great web developer build a new site. It looks fabulous and will make online selling a breeze.

And yet, she is struggling.

Why? Because she’s scared.

Her thoughts are consumed with questions like these:

What if the business doesn’t take off? What if the business does take off and makes her busier than she thinks she can handle? What if the new technology will feel burdensome to learn?

At the moment, one very small thing is holding her back — writing the About page copy for the site. It feels so hard for her — not because it’s difficult to string some words together for an initial rough draft. It’s the fear and doubt she is wrestling with that is holding her back and delaying the launch of the new site.

When we want something and still struggle, we need to find (or re-find) motivation.

Motivation is the driving force for everything you aim to achieve

Motivation is easiest to come by when things you do excite you and when things are humming along. But as we saw in the story I shared, motivation is not a sure thing.

And motivation can feel elusive at times when you most need it — like when fear grips you, or deadlines are looming and you have procrastinated, or when you lack confidence in your ability to start or bring a project to conclusion.

Happily, getting motivated is a great way to get going on something that matters to you, to deal with setbacks, to move forward in spite of fear, to persevere, to set priorities, to perform well and build confidence, and to stay committed to the outcome you desire.

So how can you get into the flow of motivation when you need it?

5 steps to create and sustain motivation

1. Ask “why?”

Why this project, or this conversation, or this goal?

Just like my post last week explained that having clarity about the “why” is important to build momentum, getting clear about your “why” is crucial for finding motivation when it is missing.

The “why” may be a personal desire (like my client who wants to restart her business), or may be related to a less-appealing but none-the-less important obligation (like bringing a legal matter to a close). When you focus on the reason this matters, you can connect to motivation.

(And, if the “why” turns out to be that you took on something based on a feeling of obligation, or to please someone, or another reason that you realize is not important enough to you to see the thing though, this is the time to make a change in plans.)

With a compelling “why”, continue on to step 2.

2. Ask yourself, “How can I make the most of this moment?”

What small step can you take to move forward now?

What can the next step be?

Keep asking and keep going (even if it’s slow going at first).

And be willing to change things up and try new approaches along the way.

3. Get support

You don’t have to figure everything out on your own!

Think about who you can reach out to to provide input. Who can offer encouragement? Who might be an accountability partner, or be available to hold you accountable, so you can more easily continue to move ahead?

4. Get excited about the possibilities

Visualize the completion of the process. In the case of my client, she is envisioning seeing orders come in and joyfully sending off her delightful products to people who will enjoy them.

If the task is less pleasant, envision it being settled or complete, and off of your mind.

By foreseeing the best possible outcome, you will bring the most positive energy to the effort. There is always a wealth of possibility to be considered when your thinking is not colored by fear and resistance.

Not only will you feel motivated, you will be more creative and resourceful as you proceed.

And no matter the final result, you will know you gave the project your best effort.

5. Reward yourself

You can reward yourself along the way, to mark small steps forward and for persevering when things feel particularly challenging.

You can reward yourself for building skills and gaining confidence.

And certainly celebrate and reward yourself for reaching milestones, and the completion of your process.

Rather than minimizing your accomplishments, or rushing on to focus on the next things on your list, savor and celebrate what you have done!

What are you motivated to create today?

Perhaps you will create a new step forward toward a goal you have been pursuing or to propel a meaningful project.

You may create a new idea or implement a new approach for something already underway, or you may initiate something completely new and meaningful.

Connect to what matters to you and invite motivation to support you to putting your desire into motion.

Every day offers immense opportunities. Motivation carries you to rewarding outcomes.

Got momentum?

Sometimes things feel like they are flowing easily (maybe even effortlessly). Maybe you are experiencing delightful flow in your life, or as you work on a project, or as you generate new ideas.

And starting or advancing some things may feel sluggish, or you may feel stuck. Frustration, doubt and even fear can show up, which only leads to more difficulty when you want to move ahead.

The key to getting into flow — and sustaining flow — is momentum.

The magic of momentum

Before we look at how amazing momentum can be in your life, let’s get clear about what it really is.

Understanding momentum

I don’t know about my readers who are scientists and more left-brained than I am, but I expect I’m not alone in recollecting that high school physics was not a favorite subject.

Yet physics has a lot to offer us outside the lab, and momentum is a great and useful concept that can support us to live our best lives.

Momentum is defined as the amount of motion occurring in something that is moving, or the force that drives something forward to keep it moving.

While you can think about how quickly a car moves down a hill (which is likely to have been discussed in your physics classes), consider the concept of momentum in terms of the energy you bring to everything you do.

Who does not want to have more momentum to make things move forward with ease?

My guess is that we all want momentum, and lots of it.

How to build momentum — whether you feel stuck or sluggish

When you yearn for flow, the key to getting momentum underway is to be in motion.

Getting back to my memories of physics class: If there is no velocity there can not be momentum.

Now this is where things get subtle. Velocity means rapid motion, speed. And that's a great thing to aim for.

But to get from not being in motion (stuck) to building momentum, you need to begin moving.

And for those times when you are in motion but feel like you are far from flow, you want to be able to get more movement underway to build momentum.

How? Inspiration can give you the boost you desire.

How to get inspired

To generate inspiration when you want to get started or ward off sluggishness — whether you want to create new habits for a life that is not overwrought; or want to enhance your health by eating more fresh foods and getting more active; or you want to launch a new initiative in your work — ask yourself why this matters to you.

Having a strong WHY is a key way to get and stay inspired.

To get clear about your WHY, do some writing about it. Dig into all the reasons this thing matters to you. Make a list of what you bring to light, and keep that list handy for times when you need a boost to sustain your inspiration.

And then take action.

Whether you start with small steps (which is fine!) or you choose to take some bigger action steps at first, you’ll begin to be in motion or accelerate the pace you had before!

How to keep momentum growing

Hooray! You are in action. Or you have propelled yourself into feeling more energized, inspired and taking more action.

Getting into motion is crucial, but it’s easy to slack off without some strategies to help you.

This is the time to build velocity, so your momentum can not only be sustained, but grow for the duration of the project at hand.

Here are some things to keep in mind that will help you:

1. Stay focused and positive.
   Keep your attention on what you are aiming for and why it is important to you. Surround yourself with positive people. Don’t get discouraged when you hit a snag (after all, setbacks are inevitable). Positive energy helps you build and sustain momentum!

2. Be flexible.
   As you review your progress, be open to new approaches, new ideas, and make smart adjustments to the original plan you had in mind. Consider inviting others to help and support you, too. Maybe you will ask someone to be an accountability partner.

3. Celebrate yourself.
   Take note of each small success and acknowledge yourself for staying committed and building momentum. This practice goes a long way to keeping you moving ahead.

The more momentum you build the better everything gets

Positive energy you bring to one thing is certain to spread more generally. That’s how building momentum in one area of your life will impact all of your life.

The potential to build momentum is available to all of us, and is truly exciting.

Where can you focus on building momentum today?

Start where you are now and see what happens.

How choosy are you?

Have you given thought to the people with whom you spend time? Do they add light to your life, or do they bring negativity?

While some of the people in your life do not reflect choices you’ve made, and are not changeable, many of the people in your orbit are there because you chose to include them.

Why it’s important to choose with care

When you are thoughtful about the people with whom you engage, you can surround yourself with those who bring qualities into your life that you desire and value.

People who have a positive outlook, who are kind, who inspire you, who are collaborative, who are generous, whose humor delights you, impact your life in great ways.

If you pause and realize there are people in your life that drain you, you have an opportunity to make new choices.

The cost of tolerating people who add stress

Maybe you are aware of people who drain your energy, that you have been tolerating — for any number of reasons.

The toll that takes can be obvious, or (as is often the case) can be easy to miss. 

When you tolerate being in the company of people who are a drag on your energy, small annoyances and irritations often seem normal. While it’s easy to get used to them when you frequently “swim in those waters,” the ongoing irritation diminishes your wellbeing.

And in some cases, you may be well aware of people whose behaviors and energy pull your energy down.

With awareness you can set new standards and create distance from those people. 

How to create distance when you need to

Many of us find ourselves wanting to make a change, but the thought of making the change can feel daunting.

When you have clarity about your standards and have made new decisions about people with whom you want to have less contact, or no contact, consider these two approaches:

1. Create new boundaries 

If you cannot end your relationship with someone, you can decide to set terms and conditions that will better serve you.

For instance, you can shift from daily texts to a weekly check-in.

Another approach that’s available to you is to make it clear that you’ll be happy to communicate if you both can agree to use language and tone that are respectful. (This can be an add-on to planning for less frequent contact.)

2. Phase out the relationship

When there is a person who drains you, and with whom you have no obligation to stay in contact, you can take steps to end the relationship. And you can do it with kindness.

Whether you choose to gradually phase out the connection, or end it in one step, plan for a conversation in which you communicate with clarity. Focus on the importance of this decision to you, and how you want to show up in the conversation.

There will be a temptation to apologize and be defensive. Instead, I invite you to calmly share that you now have new commitments, or some other change of circumstances, and that you will be in less frequent contact/will not continue the relationship.

Do not make accusations. And remember that you do not need to explain yourself. These are common traps to avoid. You are communicating a decision you are making for yourself.

Naturally, depending on the duration and nature of the connection with the person, you may modify these sound, proven approaches.

Bear in mind that your highest priority is to ensure your wellbeing.

New opportunities will open up

When you minimize or remove people who are a drag on your wellbeing, and surround yourself with people who lift you up, you will notice that you feel lighter and more inspired. And you are likely to feel happier.

In fact, you may feel a palpable sense of positive energy, to both share and nurture, the more that you spend time with people who light you up. 

You will be seen by them in your highest light and you will have their support. In turn, you will see all that’s possible for them and relish supporting them.

And when you and the people you choose to connect with are focused together on your journeys, you and they realize great outcomes faster.

In this way, “all boats rise” higher, and with more ease. 

The outcomes can be life-changing

I witness this powerful phenomenon frequently. 

I am surrounded by fantastic colleagues in a master-mind program that offers me these experiences. It is so exciting to receive this kind of support and to provide it.

And I witness it in the women I coach. 

The power of a wonderful group to be in the work together, inspiring one another, celebrating each other, holding each other in the highest light, and being there for others when someone hits a set-back, is incredibly special.

In fact, last week, one woman in my coaching program shared that when having to speak to the media in a moment of tremendous stress and pressure, she found herself calm and able to stay the course in a way that she had not been able to do in the past. She said how much she appreciated being in the work alongside the others, and that watching other great women navigate difficult things had helped her enormously. 

I invite you to carefully choose the people with whom to engage. You deserve to be loved and fully supported.

Let’s talk about control and trust

Most of us long for more control in our lives. We aim to control outcomes, we crave control over others, we want to control external conditions that impact us.

Control is an interesting and tricky topic

Let’s get clear about what we can and cannot control, and where opportunities lie that you may not have considered.

We try and control so much that is not ours to control.

Check out last week’s post, that includes a graphic you can download to remind you of the fundamental things that are in your control, and the things that are outside of your control. (You may want to make a small print-out of the graphic to keep on your desk as a handy reminder!)

We fail to see the gifts we can give ourselves by loosening our tight grip on things we aim to control.

We often hold a tight grip when we’d benefit from allowing others to contribute.

There are a number of reasons we do this.

• We think we need to do the thing ourselves.

• We think we will do it better than others.

• We do not trust others (to do it as well as we would, to do it on time, to do it the way we would like it done, etc.).

We can relieve tension by trusting others to do things their way, knowing that we can assist if need be, or offer help if they flounder.

And by letting others do those things, they are likely to build capabilities that will enable them to independently do more in the future.

And the added benefit of loosening the grip this way is having more time and space for yourself. Consider what might be possible for you if you invite others to take on more.

What if you trusted?

What if you trusted yourself more?

Can you envision really trusting yourself? Taking control of your wellbeing? Having the time you crave because you are able to bring healthy control to what you say yes to, and what you decline? And imagine the outcomes of setting healthy boundaries to enhance your life!

What if you trusted that things will unfold over time?

Rather than trying to force outcomes, can you envision yourself creating ideas and making decisions each day, to influence the outcomes?

What if you held “double trust” — that this is an abundant universe and that you can bring your positive energy and incredible creativity to each day?

What if you trusted the love and support of others?

For all the control so many accomplished women aim to bring to our lives, it is when we trust and welcome others to support us that we give ourselves an enormous gift.

When you allow yourself to receive that support, the pace at which you experience life-changing shifts can be remarkable.

Having a mentor and having the support of other great women alongside you, all on their paths to leading the truly fulfilling lives they yearn for, has been remarkable in my personal experience, and powerful for my clients.

Here is what one client said after the participating in a recent Live Big Live! retreat:

“I have real self-belief now. I trust myself. I can take the wheel, knowing I’ve got this! I have huge new insights about my work from this experience and I’m excited about this stage of my life! I am choosing to live in a positive way.”

You get to shape your life

Can you control everything you wish you could?

No.

Is there magic to make the outcomes you dream of an instant reality?

No.

And…

You do get to take deliberate, meaningful steps to shape your life as you want it to be — in spite of stress, indecision, doubt, or anything else that is challenging you now.

Let’s talk about what you yearn for, what’s in the way for you now, and what’s possible.

I welcome you to schedule a call here: LiveBigCall.com

There's no cost or obligation for us to talk. :-)

You can choose happiness, too

Visiting Galleries in New York made me very happy!

In the midst of an especially busy summer that started with a lot of tiring work-related travel, and with some big deadlines approaching as well as some other stress playing out, I left town to spend a special long weekend with my husband.

We went to New York to celebrate our anniversary, and we had a marvelous time away.

At any other time, a trip like this would be a breeze — full of joyous anticipation and leisurely planning. Given the array of current circumstances, this trip was more of a challenge for me.

Happily, my sweetheart did much of the planning. He surprised me with wonderful places to go, and planned for each day to unfold at a lovely pace. He even got the weather to cooperate! It could not have been more special.

And the truth is, before we left I was not feeling so excited.

As much as I wanted to go away and enjoy this time with him, I had a lot on my mind. I had not been sleeping very well, and was concerned about feeling distracted and preoccupied.

And then I made a choice.

I chose happiness

I remembered that I get to choose the way I respond — to everything in my life.

I decided that I wanted to be happy. And I chose to be.

It would have been easier to allow distracted thoughts to predominate. It would have been easy to fit in bits of work here and there. It would have been easy to check and respond to emails all day, as I am in the habit of doing.

Instead, I chose to be present.

I chose play and fun.

I chose delight and adventure.

I chose love.

I decided that all of the rest could and would wait.

Now, having returned, and having returned my focus to all the matters that preceded our get-away, I’ve made another choice.

I continue to choose happiness

I had help making this choice.

I was reminded of what I can control in my life, and what is out of my control. (Many thanks to a dear teacher and friend for sharing the wisdom with me.)

And I realized that happiness is something I can choose with ease when I bear in mind the wisdom of those two categories.

I realized, too, that I have the choice to feel stressed, or to trust myself to meet my deadlines.

I have the choice to ruminate over things that are contentious or address them calmly as I make a case for what I believe is fair and just.

I will control what is mine to control and not let the rest rob me of happiness.

I welcome you to download the graphic below, that I made to help me remain clear about what I can and cannot control.

What choices are you making now?

If you are thinking about how to make the next part of your life truly fulfilling — to overcome stress, confusion, doubt, or anything else that is challenging you now — you may want to consider having a guide and mentor to support you.

I invite you to schedule a call and we can talk about what’s in the way for you now, and what’s possible. (There's no cost or obligation for us to talk.)

Here’s how to schedule a call: LiveBigCall.com

Live Big Live! is back — is it right for you?

I am frequently in conversation with accomplished women — women who are admired, have done great things, and often seem to have it all going for them.

When they share their biggest wish with me, it's to make the next part of their lives truly fulfilling.

They often describe themselves as living life in overdrive. Many feel unclear, stuck, or question themselves about what's possible for their future.

Whether they are at a crossroads, thinking about what is next, or know there is something more that’s possible for them — related to their professional direction, their personal life, or a combination — many know it’s time for this tension to be addressed.

They want to get on track, take action that is intentional, and move forward in their lives with confidence and enthusiasm — to be able to plug a great destination into their GPS.

As we can all agree, every new thing needs to be created. So to achieve our goals, each of us needs to focus on what we need to create to get the fulfillment we yearn for.

It’s easy to feel alone with our questions

Have you heard the phrase, “You can’t read the label when you are inside the jar”?

It is a great catchphrase to express how hard it is to identify, much less solve, your own problems because you are so very close to them.

Yet asking for help does not come easily for many accomplished women. (Years back, I was a textbook example of that resistance!)

What I know is that when we struggle on our own, we prolong dissatisfaction, frustration and stress.

It does not have to be that way.

What if you chose to be supported?

Rather than spinning your wheels you can choose to be guided and receive support to create your path toward fulfillment and start moving along it.

You can not only be guided, you can also travel with a small group of other amazing women, each there for her own growth and eager to support the other women in the cohort.

This is what that loving support looks like.

Live Big Live! is designed for big results

I carefully designed the Live Big Live! program to guide you to clarity, to help you set clear intentions, and to start creating the fulfilled life you dream of.

And it is designed to bring dynamic results to your life in a short time.

Live Big Live! is a proven program

Offered just 3 times each year, 6 groups of women have already moved through the Live Big Live! program and the outcomes have been remarkable.

The women gave themselves the gift of focused time to bring their true desires and concerns into the light, and to envision the futures they wanted.

They were guided to tap the clarity inside them with subtly powerful tools, in an inspiring process that unfolded organically.

They gathered at a retreat for 3 incredible days of exploration, discovery and creation.

And, each completed the program with a concrete plan to live into the vision for the future that she shaped.

(We have all experienced the high of feeling inspired and then having it quickly fizzle out when real life takes over. Live Big Live! is designed to have lasting impact.)

Each Live Big Live! participant has reported deep, meaningful, lasting change in her life. The women have amazed themselves at all they have created, and are delighted about the fulfillment they are experiencing.

I invite you to learn more and explore this opportunity

The Fall Live Big Live! program launches soon.

Some past participants are returning, and there is space for 6 new women to join us. We are excited to engage in this experience with the fresh energy that new people will bring!

Whether you are unsure of your next big step, or have a direction in mind and do not know how to start moving toward it, or you have been trying to move ahead and not progressing as you wish, Live Big Live! is meant for you.

And, it has to be the right fit for both of us. We can discover that in a conversation.

If you are ready for more insight, ready to free your spirit and expand the joy in your life, and ready to learn how to open the creative power that is waiting inside you so you learn to find your answers and take clear action, I invite you to schedule a call with me soon.

There’s no obligation — just an opportunity for you to share what’s going on in your life, and for me to share insights and perspectives that may help you.

Whether or not Live Big Live! turns out to be a fit for both of us, we will have a great conversation.

My wish is to help you set your GPS to a truly fulfilling destination, and to move along your path with joy.

Here’s how to schedule our call:

LiveBigCall.com

Let’s take these 3 steps together

I hope your holiday weekend was a happy one.

Perhaps, like me, you spent time with people you love, and yet your feelings about celebrating our country’s independence felt more sober this year.

Did you, too, find yourself reflecting on the meaning of independence and freedom with a heavy heart?

I have written about our relationship to freedom before. You may want to read How free do you feel?, that I wrote in July 2021. And 2 years ago my topic was Is your definition of freedom too small?

We cannot take freedom for granted

Freedoms that many of us long took as a given are now gone, and more are in danger.

This can make us feel powerless — a subject I wrote about last week. I included a list of ways we can each use our power now, that you may want to look over.

I believe that taking action is the path to the changes so many of us want to see.

Where and how to start

1. Begin with awareness of your energy

Taking meaningful action begins with our state of mind. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes — and, yes, sustaining positive thoughts can feel challenging in times like these.

I invite you to consider the energy you cultivate and bring to your days. As my mentor often reminds me, the energy from which you create (anything) impacts the outcomes you experience.

Practices like these will support you to sustain positive energy, and will impact everything you do.

• Start (or expand) a daily gratitude practice.

• Get ample rest and nourish your body.

• Focus on love. Embrace kindness and compassion.

• Spend time outdoors. Nature is a natural healer.

• Look for wonder all around you. (It’s always there!)

• Notice if you slip into negativity and actively reframe your thoughts.

Positive energy generates more positive energy! The people around you will feel it, and be attracted to it, and a great expanding cycle is set in motion.

2. Consider the people with whom you spend time

We are social creatures, and the people with whom we spend time have a great influence on our state of mind.

Are you surrounding yourself with, or tolerating, people who are bitter, angry, or dour?

Do you actively choose to be with people who are uplifting and inspiring?

When you choose to surround yourself with people who exude positive energy, who are creative thinkers, and who look for opportunities to take meaningful action that aligns with your values, you boost your energy. And, you amplify the impact of your shared efforts, which in turn engages more like-minded people.

And while many of us must interact with people who see the world through a negative filter, appreciate that those interactions can be managed with careful thought and by setting healthy boundaries.

3. Lead the way

Most of us are inclined to sit back and wait for others to lead us.

I believe we all have the opportunity to be leaders now.

Some people will organize efforts on a grand scale, and that is great. We benefit when individuals and organizations bring people and resources together to create collective action at scale.

We can contribute to those large efforts. Each person who shows up to march, writes a check, makes a call, or writes a postcard adds to the positive outcomes that are possible.

And consider this.

Many people fail to appreciate that all of us can take action to lead in small and powerful ways — each day.

In our conversations, in speaking up when we might typically stay silent, in inviting people to be engaged and collaborate, we have power.

Stepping into your power and speaking your truth are key ways you Live Big. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes to live and lead that way.

Please join me

I believe that in this moment we are being called to use our power to restore and expand liberty.

While it will take time and commitment, we can build a society that is just for all, where all can exercise freedom.

Let’s be creators of change and lead together.

Are you missing the magic?

Have you ever stopped to consider what it’s like to go it alone, compared to traveling through challenges with others

There are many reasons we opt to venture on our own, when having support around us can make things easier.

Some of us take pride in the satisfaction of doing things by ourselves. Some of us resist asking for help, thinking it shows we are not capable on our own. Or we feel we should do things on our own. Others feel doing things their way is always the best way.

For many years I never asked for help. All of the reasons noted above played into my insistence on doing things myself.

What happens when you have help and support

What I have learned time and again, is that we are all stronger, and benefit in countless ways, when we seek out and surround ourselves with loving help.

The coaches, the healers, and the network of fellow travellers with whom I have ventured in recent years have had an enormous influence on the quality of my life, the work I do, and the pace at which I have been able to make great changes.

And last week I witnessed the power of a group in a remarkable way.

This is what happened

Seven exceptional women joined me for the 3-day Live Big Live! spring retreat, that concluded on Saturday.

Each of these women is accomplished. They are leaders. They impact the world with the work they do.

And they — and I — experienced the great results of having the support of a wonderful group, rather than being a solo traveler through life.

This is what it looked liked.

Each woman was guided to go deep into her heart to gain clarity about her vision for the months and year ahead; to identify what limits her and learn to overcome old stories and habits; and to make a plan for how she will live into her vision. This journey is richly rewarding, but it can bring up complex emotions.

As everyone moved through a series of exercises to explore, and then articulate and creatively express the components of their visions and plans, there was laughter, and there were also some tears.

And there was a lot of sharing.

Over and over, someone in the group spoke about something, or affirmed something for someone else, that proved to be enlightening or inspirational for others around her.

Rather than feeling “alone” with an issue, it was comforting to know that the lack of clarity, or flagging confidence, or stubborn old story that’s been a hindrance, is something that others like her experience.

And sometimes a woman asked the perfect question, or had lessons or perspectives to share about working through specific issues, that proved to be just what someone else needed to hear.

When we travel together through sensitive terrain, we learn so much from one another, and others learn from us.

We also inspire one another — everyone benefits as awareness and resolve and clear expression emerge!

And as the leader of the retreat, I was able to connect many “dots” that were offered by the group, that expanded on what I know and what I teach.

All of us felt immense appreciation for the tangible magic that filled the room. By allowing ourselves to be fully present and generously open, we created the ideal conditions for profound outcomes to emerge for all.

(I hope you enjoy a glimpse of the retreat in the photos below.)

What support will you choose?

Rather than going it alone, you can have loving support to transform the life you are living today.

I would be happy to talk about the dreams you have, what gets in the way, and what is possible for you.

My help may be a fit for you, or I may have a recommendation to offer you.

It would be my pleasure to help you sort things out, so you are not alone as you begin to bring the change you yearn for into your life. Email me and we can make a date.

Until next week, stay safe and well, and create your life with joy. (And

What does true devotion look like for you?

Last weekend I traveled across the country to attend the wedding of a friend who I had not seen in several years. I had never met her fiancé and was excited to celebrate with them at the long-awaited event.

It was a truly beautiful weekend, filled with joy. I loved meeting the man I’d heard so much about, and was struck by the deep devotion the couple have for one another.

I knew my friend had stood by him after a serious surgery. And I knew he had supported her through severe long-COVID. Hearing about how they had made their incredible initial connection, and the ways they have faced challenges together, demonstrated true love and remarkable devotion.

This got me thinking about devotion, and how broadly we can reflect on it.

In addition to thinking about devotion in the context of a loving relationship, we have the opportunity to think about what we bring devotion to in our lives.

To whom, and to what, are you devoted?

It’s great to think about people to whom you are devoted. These relationships are precious, whether with a partner, a family, a dear friend or other special person.

Some people are devoted to special animals who are like family to them.

I invite you to consider your devotion to other things as well.

Some of us are devoted to the work we do, while for many others, work may be comfortable, a means to an end, or worse, something that they simply endure.

Some feel devoted to:

• a calling

• a cause

• principles

• values they treasure

• their religion, or God

I invite you to bring devotion to yourself.

Have you considered how devoted you are to yourself?

Many accomplished women find themselves focused on a huge range of responsibilities — work, family, community, organizations, care of elderly relatives, and more — and lose sight of the importance of their own wellbeing.

When we sacrifice our health and wellbeing, we pay a price — and we are unable to be as effective as we want to be in every other area of our lives.

What would it look like to bring more devotion to yourself, starting today?

Might you get more rest? Eat healthier food? Make sacred time to meditate, or write in a journal, or express yourself through art, or music or dance?

Might you create space for play and fun, or time in nature?

Might you relax, read, or invite a special friend to join you for a walk?

Might you lovingly say no to a request, to be sure you honor yourself and your needs?

These are all ways to bring devotion to yourself.

Any of these expressions of devotion (or any other way you feel moved to treat to yourself as worthy of that level of care) will bring you significant benefits.

Whenever you pursue things that light you up and fuel your spirit, or that bring you joy and make you feel inspired, you are being beautifully devoted to yourself.

This is not selfish! It is a meaningful way to practice self-love.

Allow yourself to connect to your heart, and feel the kind of devotion to yourself that you feel for others.

Why not set an intention to be devoted to your wellbeing, starting today?

I predict that when you treasure yourself in this way you will experience wonderful ripple effects in your life.

Until next week, stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.