Do you struggle when things go south?

As much as we strive to do our best and steer our lives with intention, it’s inevitable that we experience setbacks, disappointments, and failures.

The feelings we experience in those situations can range from annoyed to frustrated to crushed.

And it’s in those moments that fear and doubt can take over.

So, how can you respond instead?

Ask yourself this question:

“Where are the gifts?”

Even the most challenging situations can offer us gifts.

The pandemic we have lived through comes immediately to mind, but life is frequently messy. We lose people we love. We get fired from a job or lose a major client. Relationships fall apart. Project outcomes fall short.

When there are big hits, or small events that don’t go well, we have the opportunity to choose the lens through which to look.

When we look for them, we can find gifts, both small ones, and often bigger gifts.

Here are some gifts to look for

When you look for the gifts in any situation, you are oriented to the positive, and that helps you feel better in the moment. You can see opportunities and possibilities. Your energy shifts in ways that turn any situation around faster.

The gifts can be small and subtle — and those are terrific.

You might consider posing questions like these:

• What lessons can I take away from this disappointment or failure?

• What opportunities might be opening up, that I can see now?

• How can I appreciate kindness that was offered to me?

• How can I appreciate and celebrate the ways I took a risk, or spoke up, or created something in a new way, or helped in a situation?

• What new ways to work, or connect, or create, or think are possible now?

• Where has space opened up for things I like or want to do, such as cooking, getting outdoors, playing an instrument, learning something I’ve been curious about?

• What if it’s possible that new and better things will soon be coming, that I cannot even see right now?

Can you envision how referring to this list of questions could help you steer clear of an emotional nose-dive?

Any of them can help you shift your perspective, support you emotionally, and help you move forward in a more positive way.

Consider how you can use these ideas each day

We always have the opportunity to view our circumstances with fresh eyes and choose the way to move forward.

Even in small moments when you find yourself feeling let down or disappointed, think positively and consider that good can lie ahead.

And think creatively. Because we can create all the time.

Consider that in every moment, and with every choice we make for what to say or do next, we have a creative opportunity.

Leave a comment to share the ways you have chosen a positive frame of mind, and created your way forward when challenges have shown up in your life.

And if you want to talk about how to bring more creative activation into your life, to move beyond what limits you, let’s talk. I’d be glad to help you gain new insights and perspectives on what’s in the way, as well as what’s possible for you. Click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Green lights and speed bumps

Last week I asked you about your big dream and what you yearn to bring into the world.

I asked what really matters to you and what you yearn to create.

Whether you want to have a bigger impact with your work, want to build stronger relationships, pursue a passion, create more balance and and ramp up self-care, express yourself creatively, or work for a better world, there is no end to what is possible.

And, of course, you may want to make a combination of desires your focus.

Start with clarity and then say, “Yes!”

It's great to get clear about what’s important to you and what you want to create in your life. Start by setting aside time to think that through. (After all, you don’t want to set out on a journey without a destination.)

But intentions are not enough. 

Committing to taking action and then getting into motion is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. 

Lots of people wait for a sign before they begin. Or they wait for permission, or wait until they have complete clarity, or wait for the “perfect time” to start taking action. 

And while waiting for a light to turn green is important at an intersection, you get to give yourself a green light.

Embrace the potholes and detours!

Is it easy to embark on new initiatives? Do you feel a bit nervous?

When you start down a new road there are always questions. And often some butterflies in our stomachs (or real nerves). These are signs that you are stepping into something that's a bit of a stretch, outside of your comfort zone — and that’s good!

And lots of people feel they need to head for a superhighway and hit the gas, and that speed is required to reach the destination.

The truth is that just starting is a big deal, and taking winding side roads may be the perfect route and pace for you. 

Continuing to move forward is the key.

You will likely hit speed bumps. You may have to swerve to avoid potholes. You may need to recalcuate your route from time to time. 

If your path is anything like mine has been, you may need to double-back and spiral in before you get to where you want to be.

All of that is fine. 

Those recalculations are often valuable opportunities to pause and learn. You get to notice what’s appearing on the journey and find inspiration and new perspectives. You get to create new routes, and can invite new people to join you on your travels.

Savor the adventure

Embarking on this kind of big life journey is exciting. It’s great to start on a shorter trip now, to get ready for what will be your next journey. Or maybe you are ready to head out on a sustained road trip.

No matter the plan, when you head down this road, soak it all in. Continue to let your desire, intuition, and what you learn along the way be your compass. 

You are creating your life. 

You are creating an amazing future. 

You are bringing all of your greatness into a world that needs every bit of it!

And if you think that having a guide to help you set your course and navigate through all of the twists and turns may make your journey easier and smoother, let’s talk.

You can schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the journey you are thinking about and how to get started. I promise you’ll gain valuable insights and ideas. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to realign when you’ve lost momentum

We all get off track from time to time. This happened to me last week. After a great (but hectic) week of business travel I returned to lead a retreat with my group coaching clients. While I loved it all, it wasn’t long before my body had had enough.

I first lost my voice, then lost energy and got achy, and I had no choice but to slow down, rest, and heal for the rest of week two.

Happily, I am now on the mend. But I am facing a big back-log of tasks. 

It’s a challenge to get back in your groove when you have been knocked off course — whether by travel, illness, a family emergency, an emotional rough patch, or anything else.

Here are 3 tips I use to get back on track

1. Go slow

If you are anything like me and the accomplished women I work with, you are an achiever. You work hard — often too hard. This is not the time to follow your impulse is to jump back in and tackle your backlog fast. You will likely sabotage yourself with that approach.

Be thoughtful as you give yourself permission to build up to your usually pace.

Ask yourself these questions:
• What can I delegate, get help with, or defer?
• What to-do's have the highest priority, that I can map on my calendar now?
• What low-hanging fruit can I batch and take care of quickly?
• How can best I communicate to those waiting for replies that I will get back to them soon?

Resist the urge to over-promise. It’s always better to set a reasonable expectation and meet it — or delivery early.

2. Show yourself some love

You may need to set a later wake-up alarm than usual, or skip your usual morning work-out. Or, you may find you have a productive morning and then your energy wanes. Listen to your body! Give yourself the rest, nutrition and movement that you need. 

If your muscles ache, schedule a massage. If a nap will refresh you, go for it! If you are stressed, take a break and meditate, draw, or walk around the block. 

Self care now, coupled with self-compassion, will pay big dividends.

3. Steadily pick up the pace

You will know when you are ready to work a full day again. In most cases, careful pacing and attention to self care will help you to catch up and resume your usual routines fairly quickly.

This is a great time to reflect and reassess. Think about the balance in your life, and the intensity at which you had become accustomed to living. Maybe pushing a bit less hard is a better pace for you in the long run. Maybe you discovered some new ways to work smarter, not harder. Maybe you introduced some self-care that you want to continue and make your ”new normal.“ 

This challenging period can teach you a lot. Take note of your insights.

I'd love for you to share what works best for you at times like these. We can all learn from one another. Or, if you have particular questions, ask them. Leave comments below, or email me, and I can share this feedback in a future post.