How I'm coping now — and you can, too

Is the winter weather, the strain of pandemic limitations, and the need for continued isolation getting to you?

I’m hearing lots of people describe that after nearly a year, filled with ups and downs, this has become a particularly challenging time for them. Some describe it as feeling like they are “hitting the wall.”

People everywhere crave connection. Many feel lonely. I, too, long to be with people I love and have not touched or held for months. I long to be with friends I have only seen on a screen, long to be able to safely hop a plane and go to see my dad and sisters, and long for the simple pleasure of being able to be in a busy place with people all around me, without worry about getting sick. 

Some of us are vaccinated (or in my case, have had the first of 2 shots) and others must wait for the day they will be able to be vaccinated. The thought of being with others, safely visiting a museum, or eating inside of a favorite cafe is so enticing.

And, we are not there... yet.

Even as our patience is being tested, we get to choose how to respond.

Can you see this moment as an opportunity?

Whenever you are struggling there is always an invitation to respond in new ways.

See if these approaches help you.

1. Try out a new way to cope with tough emotions

My work is all about creating, and the thing most people do not know — that I learned when I studied Psycho-Creativity — is that we have an amazing resource available to us when we create with the energy of difficult emotions. We can actually transform the “load” of emotional stress we feel.

If you want to try it, there are many possibilities.

You can crank up intense music and dance out your frustration, or anger, or whatever way you are feeling upset. You can grab some crayons and make a series of hideous pictures — to make the angry feelings visual. You can hammer away in a workshop to “download” the upsetting feelings and find relief, or furiously chop up the veggies for your salad.

Since the start of the pandemic, I have turned to this way of finding release when I paint. Each time I am in my studio I allow all my emotions to come up. I connect to my heart and sometimes find myself in tears.

My work has changed a lot over the last year. Some canvases are a mess, and I simply keep reworking them. Some paintings emerge successfully, and a few have been in juried exhibitions. Honestly, I don't really care that much. My time in the studio has been an important way for me to deal with the fear, pain and loss I’ve been feeling, and I am deeply grateful for the outlet.

2. You can choose to reframe the situation and focus on gratitude

Yes, this year has been a long haul. You may have kids doing distance learning. You may have had work disruptions. You may have been ill, or lost someone you love. The degree to which we have personally experienced difficulties in the last year varies a lot, and I am not suggesting we minimize the difficulties.

Right now, my son, his wife and their two small children all have COVID. After staying safe for nearly a year, the virus came into their home from the school of my 21-month old granddaughter. I am so grateful that the illness has not been severe for any of them. And yet, it is deeply upsetting that they are ill, and it feels incredibly hard not being there to help them.

My reframe looks like this:

In spite of having been confined, and having had to bury my mother last summer without the comfort of loved ones around us, and the worry I feel about my children and grandchildren who are ill, I choose to focus on many blessings.

• Most members of my family have stayed safe, and my son and his family are making a steady recovery.

• We have found new ways to stay connected and help one another.

• We have created novel ways to be happy together.

• Our new national leaders are addressing the pandemic, as well as many other vitally important issues that aim to bring more safety and justice to the people of our country.

• Love has carried us on its wings.

And my daily gratitude practice, when I remind myself of 3 or more things for which I can be grateful at the end of each day, has been enormously helpful.

3. You can leverage the power of visualization

I am a big believer in visualization. Much the way Olympic athletes envision a strong start (as they are on the starting block, or are about to set up their next dive) and then envision having an excellent performance, we can use the power of visualization in our lives.

On a daily basis, we can start the day by envisioning how we want to feel at the end of a conversation, or when completing a task, or even how we want to feel at the end of the day. Holding that vision can bring powerful results.

And you can set a vision for the way you want to feel and what you want to be doing when the weather gets warm in the months ahead. Imagine the scene and savor the vision. Then you are likely to take steps that will make the vision your reality. 

And consider your vision for your life a year from now. What does that vision include? This is a great time to create that vision.

Then, consider how you can keep the vision fresh in your mind. (Hint: you might want to make a vision board to keep it present in your life each day. You may want to register now for my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop in May.)

If you don’t want to go it alone anymore, do reach out

I am hearing from many accomplished women who are ready to get support and help to move beyond the challenges of the day-to-day and make meaningful strides to create the futures they long for. 

If you want to explore what it can look like to become a confident and powerful creator of the future you desire — whether you know what that vision looks like already, or are trying to figure it out — your first step can be to reach out for a conversation.

It’s easy to do. You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

I promise to provide you with new insights and perspectives, and I may be able to help you start creating the life you want and deserve. There’s no cost for us to talk, and please know this — if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Use these 3 steps to move from despair to inspiration

Have you stopped to consider that there is nearly always more than one way to look at things?

I have become even more alert to the possibilities of looking at things through a different lens recently, and it has shifted so much for me.

Examples of issues we can look at in new ways, that quickly come to mind, relate to many big tensions in the world around us.

The ongoing pandemic, the political climate as the election nears, deep concerns about environmental change as we see storms and fires fiercer than ever before, and a renewed focus on demanding the end to social and racial injustice are some of the big challenges.

For many people, the sense of overwhelm is huge. And it’s exhausting. 

It’s absolutely normal to feel concerned about such important matters, but there are options and opportunities to rise above the despair.

We get to chose the way we look at things,
and we can chose the way we respond

When we are able to stay calm and clear-headed, we think better. This allows us to stop being reactive. And from that calmer starting point, we can think positively.

We can make better decisions.

When we avoid spinning into despair, the choices we are able to make for what to do next can be more meaningful, and they can have more impact.

As a glass-half-full person, I realize I have an advantage. But anyone can decide to chose the lens through which to look at things.

Here is how you can make a positive shift.

1. Create the best environment for your wellbeing

We create our experiences, and we create our environment.

Things to delete

News cycles and social media feeds can be toxic. They are built to bombard us with sensationalized information and hype.

I am keen to be informed, but I (and many others) have found that going on a “news diet” has worked wonders. A check-in with a source you trust, once or twice a day, is more than enough to keep up with current happenings.

And, limiting social media “rabbit-hole” excursions not only keeps overwhelm down, it gives you the gift of precious time.

Consider, too, the conversations you choose to have. You can establish boundaries with those who focus only on the negative, or worse yet, rant.

Filter out stressful influences like these for a few days and see what happens.

Things to add

We find what we look for and and what we focus on. And, the universe connects us to where we bring our attention, as well.

Here’s a great example.

While writing this article, I took a short break and my husband mentioned that he’d just read a great opinion piece that he thought I would find interesting. (He had no idea that I was writing on this topic!) 

The remarkable New York Times opinion piece, titled, The Outrage Diet, is chock full of inspiring ideas about what to do to limit the impact of all of the fury that is damaging people’s health and wellbeing. 

You can also actively seek out uplifting people and resources. Who do you know who is always inspiring you, or impressing you with fresh and uplifting ideas? What podcasts or writers bring you positive and informative perspectives? 

Brené Brown’s books and her new podcast, Unlocking Us, and Krista Tippett’s On Being site and podcasts, come quickly to mind. I find myself grateful when I choose resources like these.

You may also want to change what you read and watch for entertainment. Choose what will fill you with uplifting energy and inspiration.

And, I always advocate for adding creativity into your life. The more creativity (of any kind) you engage in, the more easily you can bring creative thinking to everything you do.

Which leads to my next recommendation:

2. Reframe whenever possible

If you saw the email I sent on Sunday about my weekly Creators of Change calls, you saw that I shared a remarkable and inspiring reframe for how to view the current political climate, and how we can move forward.

I shared the work of Valerie Kaur, whose TED talk (and the quote I had pulled from it) shifted my view in a dramatic way.

Valerie Kaur’s take on the way we can see — and impact — the world reminded me of another example I heard from a great coach of mine, that goes like this.

If you entered a room and saw a woman in the late stages of labor, you might declare, “There’s a woman in crisis in here!” But if you knew it was a birthing room, you would say, “There’s a woman in labor here.” Same woman, same event, and a different way of relating to and thinking about what you were seeing.

We have many opportunities to reframe. When we consider what is possible, rather than focusing only on what is problematic, we open our minds. We can see positive perspectives and think about positive things to do, rather than feeling stuck in despair.

3. Take action and see things improve

Action is the step that takes you from the starting point of seeing through a new lens to great outcomes.

The New York Times Opinion piece I recommended is chock full of excellent examples of action you can take when you feel overcome by outrage or despair.

Finding action to take to address a concern or improve a troubling situation — even in a small way — is empowering. 

The action can be to dive in and learn more, to reach out to someone, to make a donation, to start a new conversation, to share your ideas (like writing an opinion piece or blog post), and more. Commitment to making things better starts with one small action, and then staying in action.

I also recommend you check out this excellent article, that’s filled with creative ideas for how we can educate high school students in the age of COVID. This is an example of looking at an urgent issue through a new lens. And by adding creative thinking, and suggesting new action, the author has not only enriched us with his great ideas, he may positively impact the lives of vast numbers of students and teachers.

How will you see new possibilities?

What one small change can you make today to create a more positive environment and start seeing challenges in a new light? How can you bring fresh, creative thinking to something on your mind? What action can you take?

If you want to talk about how to bring these suggestions into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can live a more empowered life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.