Recalling 3 special gifts my mother gave me

I don’t know about you, but I just realized that Mother’s Day is coming up this weekend!

Mother’s Day is bittersweet for me. It’s wonderful being with my children and two precious grandchildren. But ever since I lost my mother in August 2020, anticipating the day brings back memories of family celebrations over many decades that make me long to embrace my mother again, and see her smile.

I am savoring those sweet memories (including her delight at being with us at my son’s college graduation, that you can see in the photo above), and recalling how much she influenced not only me, but countless others.

My mother’s wisdom

If you are a long-time reader of my Big Ideas, you may recall the post I wrote about my mother's lessons for all of us, that was written soon after she died.

Today I am thinking again about some of the ways she enriched not only her family and friends, but the many ways she had a huge impact that spread far like ripples. Her influence continues to enrich countless people who often speak to me about her.

Here are a few gems I am thinking about and want to share.

When we care about others they remember and are grateful

My mother loved people. Many of my friends continue to recall how much they loved hanging at our house, and secretly wished my mother was theirs.

My mother could meet you at a cafe or sit next to you on a plane ride, and strike up such a rich connection that she would then introduce you to others with whom you’d click right away.

She was genuine and warm and cared. This is something we can all consider when we have opportunities to connect to others.

When we share what we love we inspire others

My mother had a deep love for beautiful things. She loved art. She loved being in nature and seeing beautiful vistas. She set the most exquisite tables (and cooked exquisite food to put on those tables). Many friends have shared stories about how she helped them rearrange a bookcase, or a room, or their kitchen cabinets, so they were both beautiful and functional.

I grew up thinking that everyone was surrounded by beauty and appreciated beauty. I came to realize that that is far from universal.

By tuning in to beauty, and creating moments that are beautiful whenever possible, you add delight to your life and you delight and inspire others.

When we love with a whole heart we create a wonderful life

My mother was full of love. Does that mean she lived a dream life? None of us are blessed with a life that is “perfect.”

And still, love was front and center in her life, and its role was great.

She loved my father for over 70 years. She loved her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. Taking her children, and later her grandchildren, on trips meant the world to her — and created many lasting sweet memories. She had deep friendships and spread her smile and love with tremendous generosity.

One amazing way my mother expressed love was through her art. The sketchbooks she filled on vacations, the paintings and prints and drawings that filled our home, all transmitted her love.

I have come to see how much she created, in ways I did not appreciate growing up.

Fueled by love, she created deep meaningful connections. Fueled by love she created environments that were a joy to be in. Fueled by love, she generously helped others. Fueled by love, her culinary creations were legendary. Fueled by love, she adventured to far-off places and brought home stories and drawings to share the delight she felt.

Thanks to my mother, I fuel my life with love

I have made love a great focus in my life. I try and bring that energy to everything I do.

One thing I was inspired to do is study, practice, and teach about the importance of self-love. This is one form of love I wish my mother had made a greater focus for herself.

Why do I consider self-love to be so important? When we truly love and value and believe in ourselves and our gifts, we can bring the greatest love to others, and to everything we do.

I invite you to consider all the ways you can bring a deeper focus to love, and find inspiration for all you do when you make love your starting point.

Rather than having fear, or anger, or anxiety intrude, choose to start with love. Bring it into your relationships, and into the the work you do, and into your orientation to everything, every day.

You will give yourself a magnificent gift and you will spread love far and wide.

In fact, like my mother, you may never even realize the influence you will have.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

These 3 questions may wake up your heart

Last week I had the privilege of spending four inspiring days doing deep personal work. I shared the experience with an amazing group of people, led by my remarkable coach, Michelle Villalobos.

Michelle is a business coach. I initially wanted her help to build my coaching practice, and she has certainly helped me do that. But the reason I continue to work with her is that she is on a path of doing her own deep work. She is focused on being — on who she is and how she shows up in her life — and she is a fearless explorer of this territory. She brings what she is learning into the lives of her clients.

If you have read my book, you know how aligned Michelle and I are about the importance of focusing on who we are becoming and how we show up in the world. We both believe that this is the key to being a leader in your life, which then makes it easier to build a great business — or do anything else you set out to do.

To impact the world with your gifts you need to start with the inside work.

What I dove into last week

The theme of our retreat was big: creating the new. As you can imagine, this was immensely meaningful for me. We explored how we create, what each person’s ideas are for the new they want to create, and what it will take, personally, for each of us to audaciously create in ways that will have a tremendous impact.

This was intense work, but there was also play!

I loved experiencing an afternoon of freedom, fun and laughter as I allowed myself to create with crazy materials, fueled by great music. I let go of concern about making something “good” and drew from my intuition without overthinking. It was liberating and I loved my imperfect finished piece.

And I loved watching people, some of whom had not made art since they were kids, and many who declared they did not consider themselves creative, allowing themselves to relax, play freely, and make amazing works. I witnessed joy as they shared, many claiming that they loved what they made and loved their new beliefs about themselves.

Why community is important

Magic happens when people gather this way. We learn from one another and inspire one another. The time away from “real life” gives us so much to bring back and apply to the work we do. And it supports us to each live with more awareness and intention.

3 questions you can ask yourself now

As I integrate the powerful experience I lived, I am happy to share several questions I was asked to answer. Perhaps they will be helpful and enlightening for you.

1. What can you let go of now to open the way to living your biggest, most promising life?

You might chose to let go of doubt, or perfectionism, or fear, or an old story that does not serve you — or any other limitation you want to release.

2. What power, within you, do you want to claim?

You might want to claim courage, or conviction, or passion for a cause, to name a few possibilities.

3. What new quality or project or mission do you yearn to bring into being, that will make an impact on your own life, and by extension can impact the world around you?

This question may sound daunting to ponder, but I invite you to consider that every meaningful creation you aim for — be it small or grand — can be life-changing for you, and can have ripple effects that reach beyond what you can even imagine.

Do you feel called to step into something bigger?

My work, my mission, is to unleash the untapped creative capacity inside women (and men) everywhere, so they bring all of their greatness into the world.

I am committed to using the power of love as the driving force of my work, because I know love can inspire people to embrace their full capacity to create, express and expand.

This vision inspires me every day.

And as grand as that mission sounds (and I hold a huge vision for what it will look like in the future), the growth is rooted in many small first steps.

Over and over again, what appear to be small events fuel the expansion of my mission. It’s all about having one conversation at a time.

In each connection with a woman who hears a voice inside (that may be whispering or may be shouting) that she is ready to let go of what is in her way; that she wants to find, claim and leverage her power; and that she wants to usher in something new and important to create a brighter future, a connection is made. And there is a possibility that we may be aligned.

When there is alignment, when we both believe that my support can help a woman to stop living small and step into creating her biggest life, there is true magic. Nothing is more gratifying for me than to usher in greatness and set ripple effects into motion.

And when a group of great women embark on the work with me, the power of the community accelerates the growth of each individual!

Taking a small first step can be your portal to a big future

If you feel called to take a big step up in your life, let’s make a date to talk soon. Simply email me and we’ll make that happen.

There may be alignment, or not, but one things is certain: It will be a meaningful conversation that will have an impact in your life.

And that aligns perfectly for me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Don’t learn this lesson the hard way (like I did)

When I wrote to you last week I mentioned that I’d been away at a retreat and returned feeling very tired. That was just half the story.

The full story is that I was also ill. My GI system was not working well, and I was exhausted.

So in spite of having a big back-log of emails and tasks that I’d planned to get through when I returned, my body had other ideas. It sent me a big signal: slow down.

Slowing down has not always been easy for me!

The importance of slowing down is hardly a new insight for me. In fact, the first chapter of my book is titled Slow Down and Be Still. When I wrote the book, I realized that chapter had to come first, because I see it as the foundation for living big.

We live in a culture where doing, rushing, and pushing ourselves to achieve is celebrated. I bought into that for years, and have struggled to consistently slow down for at least a decade. I have made progress, but I often override my better judgement and keep my foot on the gas.

This past week my body shouted insistently at me. (It was anything but subtle!) I decided to listen and soften, rather than fight it. And I’m glad I did.

Slow down before your body forces the issue

I have had to remind myself of the benefits of slowing down more times than I care to admit. (As they say, we teach what we most need to learn.)

I know that there are great benefits to slowing down, and yet once again the universe stepped in to make sure I would take care of myself — and walk my talk!

I surrendered.

I rescheduled dates and tasks on my calendar that could wait. I slept long enough that I woke up feeling rested, without the sound of a harsh alarm to rouse me. I sat and meditated every day. I read. I took short walks to breathe fresh air and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. I quietly sipped warm cups of tea and ate nourishing meals without multitasking.

I did some meaningful work, but I did not let myself overdo it.

And here’s what happened.

I had time to think and reflect. I noticed subtleties that I usually miss. And I came up with new ideas that excite me.

I feel so much better now. I started healing my body, and also healing my spirit.

What about you?

If this message resonates for you, try at least one way of slowing down today. Savor the sensations you notice when you do that.

And plan to give yourself this gift again tomorrow.

I know I am carefully creating more space for myself each day, and invite you to do the same.

Leave a comment, or email me to let me know what happens for you when you bring more stillness into your life.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Music to open your heart

Ah, inspiring music.

A list of favorites could be enormous , but if I had to choose just one song, it would be John Lennon's Imagine.

I am also a huge fan of David Byrne, and adored experiencing his new America Utopia creative tour de force. (If you have the opportunity to see it, go!)

What music or artist is at the top of your list — and why?

What do you listen to to get inspired? energized? to relax?

What are your top-10 favorites?

Please share!

The power of a great quote

If you have perused my site, you have doubtless found many of my favorite quotes that relate to creativity. Because of the narrow format in the sidebars where they reside, I chose short quotes to share.

This longer one is a favorite and its message is so important.

A wonderful quote from the brilliant Anne Lamott 

”Oh my God, what if you wake up some day and you‘re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen."

How do you relate to this?

How can you live your biggest, juiciest life today — even in one small way?

Books I love and recommend, plus a few cool articles

There are new books and articles published all the time, and lots of great staples related to creativity. Here are a few of the books that connect to expanding creativity that I find myself returning to — and recommending to my clients — over and over.

The Artist’s Way
Julia Cameron

Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All 
Tom Kelley and David Kelley

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Steven Pressfield

Making Art a Practice: 30 Ways to Paint a Pipe (How to Be the Artist You Are)
Cat Bennet

---

Paul Graham's article, How to Do What You Love, is candid and brilliant, with clear thinking about how we come to comprehend the concept as children, the traps of prestige, the impact of money, and the power of always producing. (“‘Always produce’ will discover your life’s work the way water, with the aid of gravity, finds the hole in your roof.”)

This recommended article is actually an NPR story about the way that Texas musician Bob Schneider started “The Song Game” with other musicians. It has helped all of them to beat procrastination, ward off self-criticism and create brilliantly. You can read the story but I recommend you also listen to the way it aired. You'll be inspired!

A short article with some sound tips you may appreciate is 7 Steps You Need to Take to Be Creative at Work. A companion article is 6 Ways to Be Creative Absolutely All the Time.

Another short article with some sound tips you may appreciate is 7 Steps You Need to Take to Be Creative at Work. A companion article is 6 Ways to Be Creative Absolutely All the Time.

I’d love for you to comment below and share your favorite books, as well as articles you’ve found with big, inspiring ideas about creativity.