If you avoid discomfort you’re not alone
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Human beings like to be comfortable. And who can blame us? Feeling comfortable — physically and emotionally — is certainly nicer than discomfort.
But staying in our comfort zone, avoiding the discomfort of stepping up to try new things and experience personal growth, is different.
Because when we stay static, play safe, or live a small version of what is possible for us, just to remain comfortable, we cheat ourselves.
As I wrote last week, even accomplished women who yearn for more — to show up and be fully authentic, to reach for the next level in their work, to live the life they yearn for on their terms — can get mired in doubt and stay stuck.
Why? As much as they may want to change, they resist stepping into that change because they fear it will be uncomfortable.
Is the thought of some discomfort keeping you stuck?
Maybe thoughts like these are holding you back:
I may not be up to the task — what if I fail?
I'm really not good enough to do what I’m dreaming of.
I’m not enough.
I don’t feel worthy; I do not deserve what I desire.
I’m afraid of what other people will say — if I can’t make the change, or even if I succeed.
Some people will disapprove of what I want to do.
I’ll be horribly embarrassed if I fall short.
I feel ashamed that it’s taken me so long to get started. It’s easier not to even try.
Yes, even considering these thoughts can get uncomfortable.
And if any of them (or several) ring true for you, you are not alone!
Most people — even super-accomplished people — have had many of these concerns. And many have moved forward in spite of them.
What you may be ready to consider
When you read through the list above, did you feel a stirring to stretch a bit? Might you be willing to get a little uncomfortable and try to take some new steps in your life?
Maybe one or more of these possibilities feel “ripe” for you now:
I want to go after something new.
I’m willing to examine my life.
I want to figure out what’s next for me that will light me up.
I feel ready to expand and grow.
I want to be more self-relient, be more in command of my life.
I want to make a bold move in my career or business or personal life.
I am ready to bring a new relationship into my life.
There’s something I am not willing to tolerate any more.
You can safely begin to test the waters
If you responded to something on the list above — or something different and meaningful came up for you — here’s how to start to take small steps toward the expansion and change you seek.
Consider these 4 suggestions:
1. Ask someone you admire if they made it to where they are today without concern about some discomfort.
If they are willing to honestly share with you, you are likely to hear a great story about what it was like for them before, how they faced the discomfort of stepping into change, and how they reached the place they are today.
With that inspiration, think about ways you can get started making some change in your life.
2. Check out my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life.
Lots of people have been telling me how helpful Live Big is for them now. They have shared that doing some of the exercises and practices in various chapters of the book has been really great. The book offers many safe ways to be guided to gently step into making meaningful change. (And, the book is on sale through Thursday, so this is a great time to get a copy for yourself, stock up for gifts, and send copies to friends.)
3. Choose a step to take now, to activate a change.
If, for instance, you want to learn something new, or want to consider a career shift to a new industry, you might search for videos to start exploring what’s involved. You can invite someone with that background to have a virtual coffee date. You can look for a short course to take.
The idea is to start! Even small steps get you in motion, and those small steps will not feel too uncomfortable. From there you can gain momentum.
4. Reach out for help.
Do you have a friend who is interested in making change in her life? You can ask if she wants to be an accountability partner for you, and you for her.
Or better yet, you can ask for the help of a pro.
My journey of expansion and transformation started when I got help. I was not looking for it, but the universe introduced me to a coach, and for the first time in my life, I said “Yes” to getting help.
Was it uncomfortable to be asked big questions I’d never asked myself, and look clearly at my life? You bet it was. But I also felt safe, knowing I was being guided by a brilliant and loving coach every step of the way.
And my life today is the reward.
I have never stopped being coached — in fact I have several coaches now, to support me in different parts of my life and work. That’s how I continue to grow and expand in my life.
Sure, I run up against some discomfort each time I begin to move out of my current comfort zone. But having support makes a world of difference.
If you want to explore what support can look like, let’s talk
I invite you to make a date with me for a Live Big Breakthrough Call — there’s no cost or obligation. I ask only one thing: that you are serious about exploring what making significant change can be like for you.
Share your challenges and your dreams. I’ll provide new insights and perspectives about what’s in your way now, as well as what is possible. And if the fit feels good, we can talk about how I may be able to help you make your dreams a reality.
Click here to find a spot on my calendar.
Stay safe and well, and keep creating.
