Take time to reflect

In the midst of this busy season, most of us have a packed schedule.

And lots of people wait until the new year rolls around to look ahead, make a resolution or two, and hope for good things to happen.

I get it. Carving out time for reflection can seem hard, or may feel selfish — particularly when the calendar is filled.

I invite you to consider the gifts that can emerge when you devote even a small bit of quiet time to reflect.

Take a few minutes for yourself 

Set aside a few minutes today — maybe over lunch, or before bed would be a good time to set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes for yourself.

Pull out a journal, paper or a laptop, and have your calendar handy. Then choose one or more of these questions to explore.

1. Look back at your year and see what you can celebrate about yourself.

Here are some questions you might ask:

• Were there times when you were brave, or dared to be bold? 

• When did you have an impact that was meaningful?

• Did you accomplish something you would not have expected? 

• When did your generosity have meaning for someone?

2. Look for lessons learned.

We learn valuable lessons in many ways. One way you may not have considered is to think about challenges you took on, or challenges that showed up this past year, that contributed to your path of success. 

See what you can spot. Can you feel gratitude for outcomes that those challenges led to in your life?

3. Look for things you want to emphasize next year, or let go of.

Perhaps there was an experience that opened your heart in a new way, or a person you got to know well and enjoyed, or a place you spent time that was especially meaningful. 

Note things you want more of next year.

Think, too, about things you want less of, or things you are ready to release.

Perhaps there are things you said “Yes” to that you didn’t like doing, or that have run their course. Maybe there are habits of thinking you are ready to shift away from. Maybe you want a change in a relationship.

By reflecting and taking note, you can set intentions for next year.

You can consider ways to make the positive things a meaningful part of your life in 2024.

And you can intentionally clear space for more positivity when you set clear intentions to release what does not make you happy.

Do it again!

Why not set aside a few minutes every other day for the rest of this month for some quiet reflection? Start with the suggestions above, and add to ways of mining the past year as new perspectives come to mind.

As you look back and consider your year in 2023, you will be likely to notice many things that will help you move into 2024 with more clarity, awareness and intention.

And if you want to share, I would be delighted to hear about the insights you discover. Email me.

What are you ready to let go of?

Are you holding on to things that no longer matter?

So many of us struggle to let go. There is so much we accumulate that we stop seeing and using.

We are surrounded by things we no longer need — and if we pause to consider, there’s usually a lot we no longer even want.

What things can you let go of now?

Physical clutter feels daunting to think about for many of us. When will we find the time and energy to tackle a closet that is packed, or a room with drawers and shelves that are overstuffed?

What if you chose to take a baby step?

What if you started with a single drawer or focused on one small thing?

Last week I scheduled a pick-up with a non-profit that takes used books and finds new homes for them. It was the perfect way to get motivated to look at shelves around the house and fill the requisite 7 small boxes with books to donate. 

In no time, I had selected old travel books, novels I had no interest in rereading, books related to my first business (that I sold in 2011!), cookbooks I haven't used in years or didn't really like, and more.

Having quickly filled the boxes, it was fun to readjust the shelves, now with breathing room for small objects and photos to be placed where they add delight.

The books are now out of my house and on their way to new homes. I feel more spacious and happy, having done just one small thing to clear my environment. 

Think about emotional clutter, too.

In addition to the tangible clutter in your home and office, that you can slowly address and let go of, consider emotional clutter. We all have some of that.

What have you been tolerating that drags you down emotionally and/or energetically?  

Perhaps there are people or situations in your life that drain your energy or impact your thinking in negative ways. 

Start by becoming aware of them. Perhaps writing in a journal will help you identify them, see their impact, and be more alert to where they interfere. 

With that awareness, you may naturally start to address, eliminate, or resolve them.

And if you choose not to actively do anything about them now, that’s fine. Having the awareness is a key first step.

Start with one small, specific step today

What one small thing can you commit to now?

It can be something as small as choosing a focal point to start in on — and setting a date to begin to address it.

You might journal about clutter for 15 minutes next weekend.

You might schedule a pick-up of clothes and household items for a local charity.

Whatever small step you take, you will have the satisfaction of having started.

Each baby step takes you a step closer to the spaciousness of a less-cluttered environment, and a less-cluttered mind.

In time, as your life becomes less cluttered, stress and anxiety will subside. You will feel pride about your accomplishments, and enjoy the bonus of enhanced self-esteem.

In short, you will feel happier! Imagine how great that will be.

What would it be like for you to feel freer?

When July 4 rolls around each year I naturally think of freedom. You probably do, too.

What resonates for me deeply this year is how free I feel. 

Specific questions I am asking myself now are:

• How free do I feel to show up in the world boldly?

• How free do I feel to allow myself to play?

• How free do I feel to start down new paths rather than sticking to the status quo, because that’s what I’m used to.

Whether these questions resonate for you at this moment in your life, or you have others that are particular to you now, I invite you to start exploring.

How free do you feel?

Let’s consider the three questions that keep coming to mind for me. Join me in being curious and see what comes up for you.

1. Do you feel free to boldly show the world who you are — without a mask, without holding back?

I gave a new talk this weekend titled, Embrace Your Bold: How to Amplify Your Voice and Increase Your Impact.

I opened the talk by sharing the impressions I used to have about of what “bold” looked like (such as being loud, and fearlessly doing daring feats). Those concepts of boldness turned me off, and made me doubt how bold I could be.

I also told the audience how I had tried to fake being bold in the past — and how those attempts had always failed. I explained that I have learned that being bold is a deeply personal set of choices, and there are ways to find your own bold, so you naturally and genuinely amplify your voice and increase your impact.

It was a short talk. There is much more I will cover when I expand the talk to a full keynote and deliver it in the fall. For now, I am pondering many ways I want to be bolder in my life, and what hampers me.

I invite you to consider this question, too. It will likely reveal things you have not brought into focus before.

2. Do you feel free to be playful, to lighten up, and let your spirit fly — just for the joy of it?

This question came to mind for me as I spent time with colleagues who were truly playful and joyous when they spoke on the stage before and after my talk.

I yearn to tap and express more of that light, playful energy, and am thinking about how I will begin — today!

3. Do you feel free to explore new options and make changes?

I have been asking myself about changes I want to make for the past few months. I am getting get super-clear, and I have been implementing them, one small step after another.

One decision became clear for me after my wonderful month living in Paris this past winter. I want to adjust the ways I spend my time so that I can paint more and write more. My soul yearns for more space for my own creative expression, and I have started making meaningful adjustments.

What about you?

Might you be stuck in a groove out of habit — about your work, or a relationship? Perhaps you are not honoring a deep desire?

Do you love things as they are, or do you realize you are ready to make a shift?

Are you holding back on making changes because they feel scary?

Feeling free enough to ask and explore the questions is step one!

Try using this special tool!

I created a guide to help you bring full self-expression into your life. It is colorful and fun to use. You will find that the more you are able to be fully self-expressed, the freer you will feel!

Download the guide here (no email needed!), and see what happens for you. 

Let’s all make this a season to activate glorious personal freedom!

My bonus tip to help you live big NOW!

Last week I shared 5 steps you can take to start making small steady changes that will help you live your biggest, most satisfying life.

If you missed it, or want to review the steps again, you can read it here.

The steps were designed to make it easy to bring a small and meaningful change in your life.

The objective is for you to see notable change quickly, so you can build momentum, and be able to make more positive shifts to the old habits that have been robbing you of time and space for what matters most to you.

Here’s a short recap of the 5 steps:

1. First identify one small shift you want to make.
2. Choose innovative ways to keep yourself focused.
3. Make a plan for the action you will take.
4. Track your progress.
5. Keep going — even if you stall, keep going and then build on your progress!

My mission is to help accomplished women everywhere all live their biggest, best lives!

Is the 5-step process is helping you?

Are you already noticing positive changes?

Whether you have started using the steps, or now want to begin to implement this gentle path to living a bigger, more satisfying life, I am excited to share one more idea today.

It can help you make the progress you desire with even more ease.

Watch your words!

This suggestion is subtle but powerful.

The language you use in your self-talk has a big impact on your thinking, and thus your actions.

I wrote about the power of self-talk to make your life easier in a post last year, that you can check out here. 

And here’s another post about the power of positivity.

To put this big idea to work, take note of times you use encouraging, supportive ways of speaking to yourself, and be aware of times you let criticism or negativity fill your thoughts.

When your language is positive and encouraging, your energy flows in great ways, and the outcomes of your efforts — no matter what you are focused on doing — will be noticeably better.

You always have the opportunity to turn negativity into positive thoughts and energy, and it is easier to do that than most people think.

Two examples of positive language to adopt

1. Eliminate the “shoulds”

Here is a common way that we make things hard for ourselves, that with a little attention, can be shifted to make things significantly easier and more pleasant.

If you find yourself thinking about what you should do, pause and shift to phrasing it as what you want to do, or what you get to do.

Can you see what happens when you swap in a few new words for “should”?

Instead of berating yourself or trying to force yourself to do something, you choose that thing!

When you change the words, your energy will come from a place of desire and/or opportunity. And what happens next will be remarkably better than starting with a should!

2. Add one new word

If you feel your progress is slower than you’d like — in making a small change of habits, or reaching a milestone, or completing a challenging task — instead of beating yourself up you can add the word “yet” to your thought.

For instance, if you are focused on speaking up more boldly, a new statement can look like this: 
“I have not had the courage to bring up that touchy subject with my colleague yet.”

Or, if you are trying to get more rest to feel your best, a new statement can look like this:
“I have not adjusted my bedtime yet, but I will test a new change to my routine tonight.”

Can you feel the energetic boost of simply adding “yet” to those sentences?

Awareness is powerful

When you slow down enough to bring awareness to the language you use in your self-talk, as well as when speaking with others, great things can happen with more ease and speed than you may be able to imagine now.

The more that you bring small, positive changes into your life, the more you will show up in new, big ways. I predict that you will love that expansive bigger version of you!

Email me and let me know how these suggestions work for you. And if you have questions I’ll be happy to hear them and get back to you.

This is your time to live big!

Ready to live bigger? Start with these 5 steps!

Most accomplished women I talk with express a desire to live a truly balanced and fulfilling life. While they yearn to show up fully every day, have an impact, and thrive, many confide that they feel limited and frustrated in their efforts to make that vision their reality.

Most take on too much.

Some don’t advocate for what they want — in their professional lives and in personal relationships.

They put their needs (for self-care, pursuit of personal interests, quiet time and more) behind those of others.

They compromise.

While they love the idea of living their biggest life, it does not feel natural for many of them to think of changing the ways they currently operate. Or they simply do not know where to begin to make changes.

Some even feel that the idea of living big may be too much — too much to expect for themselves, and/or too hard to achieve.

You cannot think too big, or live too big

One thing I know to be true is that all of us can learn, small step followed by small step, to show up fully in the world.

We can create the lives we yearn for!

We can overcome our doubts and limitations to pursue all that we desire and to have our biggest impact.

Can you embrace this truth? 

When you choose to pursue your biggest life, I urge you to be mindful that making significant changes is a process that unfolds over time.

These 5 steps will get the ball rolling.

1. Start with one small shift

When you start with new awareness, add commitment, and are willing to be patient as you make small shifts, you will begin to experience meaningful change.

And you can build on that change over time.

Here is a great place to start:

Ask yourself what small change will have the biggest impact for you now?

Maybe it’s getting more sleep.

Maybe it’s speaking up more clearly and boldly for something important.

Maybe it’s saying “No” without feeling guilty.

Maybe you will choose something else.

Make a choice!

2. Focus on that change

To help you stay focused, make reminders for yourself.

Use your phone, or put colored post-it notes on your desk, your bathroom mirror, your coffee-maker, and your laptop.  

You can ask for help from a trusted friend. They can be a sounding board, and might text you every day at a particular time to see how it’s going. 

Be creative and have fun with ways to keep yourself focused on this meaningful change.

3. Make a plan

For instance, if more rest is key for you now, will you get to bed earlier? Might you take a power nap at a time when your energy drops?

If you want to feel less discomfort saying “No,” you might journal in the morning and write about why it is important for you to stop crowding your days with obligations to others, rather than yourself.

Then, if you know a request is pending, or someone is waiting for an answer, or you simply want to be forearmed, take some time to practice kind ways to decline the request. 

4. Track your progress

Subtle changes can be hard to notice. Keep a small journal, or a running record on a device, to record the daily efforts you make and the outcomes you experience.

Take note of what works and what does not meet your expectations so you build on positive approaches. And note specific outcomes as they occur. 

If you have an accountability buddy or a coach, ask for feedback as you share your progress and your outcomes.

And acknowledge your progress — even small shifts are worthy of celebrating! It is the small shifts that become new habits, and your new normal. 

5. Keep going!

As you bring small changes into your life, and experience the way they enhance your wellbeing, momentum will build.

You will be ready to identify and embrace new changes you want to make, and you will likely feel increased confidence and enthusiasm about pursuing them.

This is how living big works.

As we each expand and live the satisfying life we desire today, we see more and more opportunity ahead.

We can all continue to step up and live with even more passion and authenticity and joy. And our impact is amplified as we continue to shine more and more brightly.

I invite you to join me on this path of expansion. My dream is for all of us to live all of our greatness. Let’s Live Big together!

(And if you’d like to share your vision of your biggest life, I’d be delighted to hear about it. Email me and we’ll make a date to talk.)

What I learned in a family medical emergency

As much as we make plans and think we have everything carefully mapped out, life has a way of throwing us curveballs.

I was excited to anticipate a trip to visit my father for the holiday weekend. We had not seen him since Thanksgiving, and now that the entire family is fully vaccinated I envisioned a nice drive to Philadelphia on Friday, where we’d spend a few days enjoying relaxed conversations over delicious meals, take short excursions to lovely places, and I would have ample time to reconnect with my father and sisters.

What happened instead is that on Wednesday my father was rushed to an emergency room with frightening symptoms. We left for Philadelphia early Thursday morning and spent the next 5 days with him in the hospital.

A robust 95-year-old, my dad is amazing. I am glad to say that he has pulled through a complex set of events, and should be able to return home soon.

While it was a far cry from the visit we planned, I am deeply grateful for the wonderful care my father received, and that we were able to be with him and my sisters.

I am enormously grateful that with COVID vaccination rates high, restrictions at the hospital were partially lifted, so we could be with him and confer directly with his doctors and nurses. And there was far less worry about exposure than there would have been even a few weeks back.

And I am grateful for all the ways my family pulled together to look after him.

Sometimes we get unexpected reminders of important life lessons

When everything goes according to plan, it’s easy to take a lot for granted. I appreciate that some important insights I’ve integrated in my life in the past few years came into even clearer focus this week.

These are at the top of my list:

• No matter how carefully I plan (and I plan a lot!), remaining flexible is a must. I was able to do that this week.

• No matter what happens, staying present and responding with a clear head is crucial. Happily, I was able to do that, too.

• Help is always available, and reaching out for help is always a good idea. I reached out for and received so much meaningful help that supported me this week, both emotionally and practically.

• It’s possible to stay positive in the face of uncertainty. That outlook helped me to be resilient.

• Frightening emotions don’t have to derail me. I can feel them, work through them, stay present and persevere.

• Self-care helps enormously when life gets challenging. Good nutrition, staying in a comfortable hotel, and getting ample sleep made each day easier.

• Love is powerful, and the best medicine.

What do you need to do to be ready for the unexpected?

If life throws you a curveball out of the blue, how do you think you will be able to respond?

I know that my journey of personal development over the last decade, that led me to becoming a coach, bolstered my internal resources immeasurably. I was able to cope and move through the stresses of this week in ways that would have been much harder for me years back.

If you want guidance about how to build a solid foundation for your best life, email me and we can make a date to talk about what’s in the way for you now, and what’s possible, too. Or you can schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me directly — click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.