3 life-changing questions to ask now

We are about to say good-bye to 2020.

As eager as we all are to move ahead and leave this challenging year behind, let’s not rush. We have an important opportunity to reflect on 2020 before the turn of the calendar.

After all, when we fail to look back at what we can learn, we lose the opportunity for precious insights that can support us in the future.

Three great questions to ask yourself now

1. What are you proud of?

Acknowledging ourselves is really important — something many of us never do. We need to celebrate things we have accomplished, our resilience in the face of difficulties, ways we have grown over time, and good that we have done.

Spend some time reflecting and writing down all the things this year for which you are proud when you look back at 2020. And don’t skip the small stuff — it all counts!

When you have your list, savor it all. Hold that goodness in your heart and own the pride.

2. What can you let go of?

We all carry limiting stories, grievances, self-critical thinking, resentment, fears, and more that limit us. This is a perfect time to think about what you want to leave behind in 2020.

Write down all the things you want to let go of.

You may see that some things on your list can be easier to stop, while others may be entrenched and hard to let go of. That’s ok.

This is an exercise in awareness. Without awareness, we drift. And when we drift we fail to address changes we want to make.

You can make a note of the items you believe will be fairly easy to drop and put the list where you will see it each day. If you can catch yourself holding onto or returning to any of the items, you’ll have a ready reminder to try and let go.

For the more challenging things you want to drop, you might start a journal and dive into exploring their hold on you, as well as ways you might begin to let go of them, bit by bit.

3. What is your vision for 2021?

Rather than starting the new year as if it’s just another day, this is a perfect time to set a vivid vision for your new year.

I am not talking about making a resolution to exercise more, or stop a bad habit.

Think bigger.

Connect to what your heart desires.

What do you want to create next year?
How do you want to live big?

What are you excited to explore, to test, to step into, to go after?

When we set a vision we bring focus to our lives. And what we focus on is what we get.

It’s not about magical thinking.

Rather, it’s about setting clear intentions and staying committed to the vision — even when that means we need to expand to do new things that are not in our comfort zone.

Give yourself a gift as the year ends

Whether you were showered with gifts during the holidays or not, the gift I am recommending is different.

A magnificent gift you can bestow on yourself now is the gift of time.

Devote some precious time to reflecting on all that you can celebrate as you moved through what was a uniquely difficult year. Move on to considering what you decided you want to leave behind as you turn the corner to a new year. And savor the vision for what you want for yourself in 2021.

And if you are unsure about your vision for 2021, you may want to join me to create a vision board — this is another wonderful gift you can bestow on yourself.

I am excited to lead my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop online, on Sunday, January 17.

No matter where you live, you can join me for a powerful and meaningful experience that will bring you clarity and inspiration for the year you want to create in 2021. Registration is open now!

Wishing you an abundant new year filled with health, joy, love, peace, and all good things.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who do you need to BECOME to live big now?

Here we are, in the last week of October, looking ahead to a momentous election and the last 2 months of 2020.

Yup, there are only 65 days left in this year.

You may be hearing and reading about meeting end-of-year sales goals and doing year-end assessments.

Maybe you are thinking back to the ambitions you had for this year that got interrupted, and perhaps derailed, by the pandemic.

Rather than feeling stressed or anxious, I am offering you a couple of questions to consider:

What will help you to end the year on a strong note? 

What states of mind, what ways of being, can you address now, to make these last 2 months the best they can be — and to be your most resourceful and resilient self as you move into 2021?

As you read these questions, are you wondering how to start thinking about answering them? 

Consider this.

Your state of being is key to the quality of your life

Your state of being — how you show up in the world, your mindset each day — is the foundation upon which everything rests. It impacts your relationships, your work, your personal well-being — your entire life.

To BECOME more grounded, clear and confident, follow these 3 steps.

Step 1: Assess your current state

Take a look at this list of common challenges and consider which are limiting you now. (Trust me, we all are hampered by some or many of these, to one degree or another!) 

How many of these trouble you?

• A lack of confidence

• Feeling unmotivated

• People pleasing

• Putting yourself last

• Skipping self-care

• Comparing yourself to others, making you feel like you are not good enough

• Feeling like an imposter

• Difficulty setting healthy boundaries

• Feeling indecisive

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Feeling fearful

Mindset challenges like these are likely to have been in place long before the pandemic, though they may now be more of a hindrance. Or maybe some new ones have recently cropped up for you.

And maybe you are thinking of a challenge that is not on this list. If so, make a note of it now.

Next, jot down all of the challenges that hamper you these days. And for each one, note the level of negative impact they have for you.

Use a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most distressing.

Are you surprised at what you see?

If your list is long, or the scale is high, do not feel discouraged. You now have more clarity — that’s a good thing! — and you can begin to move forward to address these limitations.

Step 2: Focus on small change for one challenge 

With the clarity you have now, consider the single biggest limiting mindset challenge you identified — or the one that feels most urgent to address.

Yes, it can be big work to address such challenges. And I am glad to tell you that making change like this is doable — but the most effective way do it is to bring your attention to making small, focused changes to one thing at a time.

It’s tempting to try and change many things at once, but that’s not wise. When you are scattered and inconsistent in your efforts you are unlikely to achieve the changes you desire. That leads to feeling discouraged and giving up.

Begin by paying attention to the one thing you most want to address now.

And do not minimize the importance of taking very small steps to start shifting into a better frame of mind.

Consider taking small steps like these

When you feel overwhelmed, indecisive, or feel hampered by any of the stresses listed above, try adopting a conscious practice like simply slowing down and taking 2 to 3 minutes to breathe in quiet. Done consistently, this can be a surprisingly fast way to connect to your calm, wise self. It will help you more than you might imagine.

Or, if you are skimping on self-care, or notice you are people-pleasing, or realize that you frequently put yourself last, consider ways to treat yourself with more self-love. You might schedule 10 minutes for yourself each day — be it to soak in a tub before bed, to read quietly, or to take a mid-day walk. 

Small practices like these, when regularly incorporated into your life, will have a meaningful impact.

You may also want to look at the helpful practices and exercises I’ve included in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, to help you address and overcome the limitations that concern you. Choose the practices you feel will most help you to make the changes you seek.

Step 3: Keep going, even if you are not always consistent!

When you bring commitment to incorporating a new practice into your life — even if you do it imperfectly and miss a day here and there — be sure to acknowledge yourself for making that commitment.

It’s when you get back on track and continue to build new practices that meaningful change becomes your new normal.

Much like brushing your teeth each day, you will soon stop needing to remind yourself to take those breaks, or treat yourself well, or set healthy boundaries. Practices like these become your new way of being, and you are then able to bring attention to the next area where you seek to make change. 

Can you imagine what it can look to become more of the woman you want to be by the end of 2020?

What would it look like for you to show up and do what’s important to you without those old ways of being?

What might your new year look like if you were able to shift into being a creator of the life you want, rather than feeling like it’s so hard to make the moves you long for?

Begin now! Start to take small steps to become all you yearn to be.

There’s no time like the present to get started.

And if you want personal support, to help you overcome the limitations that are hampering you with more ease and consistency, let’s make a date for a complimentary Live Big Breakthrough Call.

I’ll be happy to help you gain insights and new perspectives about the challenges that limit you and how you can move forward in your life in exciting ways.

And, if we both think the fit is right, I can share the way that my new signature program, Live Big Live!, might help you become a powerful creator of the future you yearn for.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Have you chosen a word to inspire and guide your year?

If you’ve been reading my Big Ideas in January’s past, you may recall that I choose a Word of the Year as I step into each new year. Choosing a guiding word, that can be a theme for you, can inspire you, and can serve as a filter for everything you chose in your life, is a remarkable tool. 

One of the reasons I love this practice at the start of the year is that it requires me to slow down and think clearly about the year I want to create. I think about who I need to be to do that. I consider the key word that will support me over the coming 12 months.

The seemingly simple idea of choosing a guiding word has had a tremendous impact for me in each of the years I have used the practice.

That's why I urge my coaching clients to choose a word for themselves each January. And, at my January IgNight Creative Evening this week, each of the women who join me will create a collage focused on the Word of the Year they’ve each chosen. The gorgeous pieces they have created in the past have anchored them to their word and have inspired and delighted them throughout the year. I can’t wait to see what they each choose, and what they each create, this year.

Are you ready to choose your word for 2020?

If this is a new idea for you, or if you want a reminder about my process for choosing your word, check out this blog post where I walk you through my steps for choosing your Word of the Year.

And, last year I wrote another post that expands on what it means to stay true to your intentions as you choose your word. Read it here.

What comes next?

I am a big believer in the power of visual reminders, and the inspiration that follows. Even if you choose a word with care, day-to-day life gets busy and it’s likely that your word, and all it represents, will slip from your mind.

Open a file and type your word in large bold letters. You may want to add some additional points underneath, about the ways you want your word to apply to your life. (I included examples about that for the words I chose in the blog posts linked above.) 

Print out your page and post it where you will see it each day. I have mine on the pinboard in my office. Each time I see it I listen to what my word is calling me to do. I ask myself if the choices I am making are aligned with the spirit of my word. This is how a Word of the Year can make a real impact in your life.

As you will see in last year’s post, my word for 2019 was Depth. It guided me, inspired me, and called on me to approach my life and work in profound ways.

In the years when I chose Savor, and Lead, those words were important to how I lived and what I became over those 12 month periods.

What's your word for 2020?

Are you ready to step into what your word is calling you to do?

It may be a step outside of your comfort zone — and if so, that’s ok! Commit to taking small steps that align with your guiding word. And acknowledge yourself for every action that is congruent.

My word for 2020? Powerful. 
I intend to be: 
a powerful agent of growth
a powerful presence
a powerful voice that inspires
a powerful teacher and coach
a powerful voice for justice
and a powerful artist. 

With my book, Live Big, soon to launch on Amazon, my word is already fueling me in exciting ways.

Let’s all make 2020 a year of commitment to ourselves. Here’s to you choosing a word that will support and guide you to live your best year ever.

Leave a comment to share the word you choose. And reach out to let me know the ways it impacts you as the months roll along!

Turning intentions into commitments that stick

Happy 2020! I hope your new year is off to a great start.

At my Dream Big Vision-Board Workshop on Sunday, 10 amazing women spent the day creating visions for the year that lies ahead. We started the day with exercises to help them get really clear about what they want to BE in their lives, what they want to DO, and what they want to HAVE in the year we are all stepping into.

After clearing the noise from everyone’s heads with a deep meditation, they each worked quietly to leaf through magazines and select images and words that called to them. They then arranged their choices with care and thought, and each assembled a fabulous vision board.

When each woman shared her board with the group, it was clear that she had created a representation of what was important for her, and where she would be setting her intensions and committing to action to bring those things into her life.

It was especially fun to hear from women who had made vision boards with me last year, recounting great things that had come into reality that had just been dreams, or long-held wishes that they had never moved forward with, at this time a year ago. 

If you have made a vision board, or have set intentions for things you want to make real in your life this year, what will it take to make that happen?

In the moment when we set aside time to actually create resolutions, or set goals, or get clear about changes we want to bring into our lives, it feels great.

What’s harder, is holding the energy of commitment, to follow through over time.

That’s why having a vision board, that is placed where you see it every day in your personal environment — or as was suggested on Sunday, making it the home screen on your phone or laptop — is so powerful.

Visual cues help us to stay aware of the things we determine are important for us, and help us commit to taking some deliberate action each day.

Why not make some visual cues for what you want to stay committed to?

Here are three ideas, in addition to making a vision board, that you might try:

1. The post-it notes in your drawer are a great resource.

If you are like me, you’ve got post-it notes in a range of fun colors. What you may not have considered is how they can be used to help you stay committed to taking action toward your goals and dreams.

For example, if you want to this to be the year you stick to an exercise practice, you could put a post-it on your bathroom mirror that says “Spend five minutes stretching.” In time, you can change it to say, “Tomorrow morning will be a perfect time for a run — put it on your schedule!” And, use colored notes in lots of places. You might put one on your fridge door to remind you to eat more vegetables. You can put others, with messages of any kind, on your monitor screen, the door of your coat closet, the dashboard of your car.

Have fun with this approach, and change the notes often, so you see a new color and a great message in lots of key places during your day.

2. Put the Reminder app to work on your phone.

Much like when we get calendar reminders that pop up all the time, why not set reminders to prompt you to take an action related to your dreams or goals? I have a client who swears by this, and I have started enjoying this approach.

It’s easy to set up reminders, and a great way to see a concrete prompt — to reach out and network, to slow down for five minutes, to make a date for a fun outing with someone you long to see more often, to make a brave move, to schedule that medical appointment you’ve put off — or any number of things that you want to do in the year ahead. 

These reminders can be rotated or changed over time. See how creative you can be about setting these prompts for yourself.

3. Try some mental visioning.

You may want to start each morning with a minute or two to visualize yourself taking an action that aligns with a goal or desire.

If, for instance, you want to have a lush vegetable garden this year, you could visualize yourself choosing plants to order from a catalogue. Later in the season, you could envision yourself turning over the soil and planting seeds for the cold-tolerant crops that can first go in the ground.

And, to make the visioning process even more inspiring, envision great outcomes, too. You can envision the lush garden and the gorgeous veggies you will harvest, each time you vision for a minute about your garden. “Seeing” the end result for your efforts in advance, and feeling the delight of that moment, will keep you motivated to take the necessary steps along the way.

What do you yearn to create in your life in the new year and the decade that lies ahead?

Do you want a new job? A new relationship? More adventure? To work for social justice? Better self-care? More space for personal creativity and expression? A clutter-free environment? A move to a new city? To take on a big project? Deep contentment and satisfaction?

Visualize those things, savor the visions, and believe.

You will be amazed at what you can create in your life when you set clear intentions and make commitments to take consistent action.

Endings and beginnings

Today is the last day of 2019. It’s the eve of a whole new year, and a whole new decade. This is a perfect day to set aside a few minutes to reflect. 

What was happening in your life a year ago? 

What has happened in the last 12 months? When you slow down and think about it, there’s a lot that happens in 365 days. And when we rush through those days we tend to miss the insights just waiting for us.

What has changed, and what has not changed — for better or worse? Are you ready to make some changes? Are there things you wouldn’t change for the world?

What memories are you savoring? What about your recollections fills you with gratitude? 

Now, stop and think about where you were at the close of 2009. You were about to step into a new decade. What’s happened in your life over these 10 years?

When I took time to go through this list of questions, I was amazed to think about the big changes I’ve lived through in the last decade. I could not have imagined my life now when I was on the eve of 2010.

The next questions you may want to ask yourself are big ones:

What are your dreams for 2020? 
What do you yearn to create in your life in the new decade that lies ahead?

Visualize those things, savor the vision, and believe. 

You came into the world (as we all did) with the capacity to be a powerful creator. Why not create the life you dream of? 

Start small, and keep moving. 

This is a big beginning!

Sending you love and wishes for a wonderful new year.