Finding Hope and Joy in Paris

Last week I left for Paris to lead my first overseas retreat. My dream of bringing a group of wonderful women to France for 12 days, to explore Paris and then spend time in the gorgeous French countryside, was about to become a reality.

And so it has.

It has been a remarkable week in many ways. And mixed with great delight, we have been processing the heartbreak we all feel following the outcome of the election.

Being in a city as magical as Paris, with the opportunity to share art in fabulous museums, culture, history, and food has been a privilege. And as we have moved through these days I am gaining perspective and insight.  

Emotions must be honored

Whatever one feels in any given situation, the emotions need time and space — to be felt, and to be processed if they are troubling. 

The key is to keep from being stuck in difficult emotions, so you do not fall into despair.

For despair leads to hopelessness, and that is no place to stay (for your own sake and others’).

Hope, on the other hand, provides you with a feeling of agency and possibility. It inspires action, and action is a great antidote to fear and anxiety.

Cultivate hope like you cultivate a garden

To look for ways to feel hopeful, remember that you are filled with love. You have abundant creative power. And you have a voice.

Actively look for beauty and soak it in.

Allow yourself to feel love and give love to others.

Take positive action (even small action) in tandem with others who want to create a world where kindness, love, peace, freedom and justice prevail. The collective potential of like-minded people is considerable.

What I am learning in Paris

Being in the city my father grew up in, I am recalling that he was remarkably resilient and resourceful.

He never gave up — when the Germans invaded France in World War II, he and his family took brave action to leave. They made a new life in a new country and were proud Americans.

When his brother (and business partner) died suddenly at age 42, he kept going. When his business failed several years later, after a trusted person embezzled from him, he came back and succeeded again.

When he lost my mother and was truly heartbroken, he smiled lovingly at her picture each day for the rest of his life. He found joy in his return trips to his beloved Paris.

He always looked ahead with hope.

He modeled hope for me, as I am committed to doing for others. 

And so I am living each day here focused on opening to the adventures we are sharing. I am cherishing the company of magnificent women, and am in awe of the exceptional creativity we have taken in in each museum we’ve visited. I am savoring fabulous meals and how my senses are awakened. I am feeling tremendous gratitude for the joy of this experience, knowing it is fortifying my heart and spirit for the path ahead.

I believe the joy of this experience, for me and the women I am sharing these experiences with, is adding positive, creative, hopeful energy to the world, and that we will all return home with even more of that energy.

I am sharing some photos I have taken in the last week with the hope that you can feel the joy, feel hopeful, and sense the creative power you are filled with.

How to love your to-do list

When you look at your to-do list do you feel overwhelmed? Most of us do!

We are busy with lots of things to do and we have many interests. We strive to achieve. We are passionate and eager to have an impact.

And day after day, all of those to-do's and desires add up and can feel heavy.

Try a new to-do approach

Here is a new way you can orient yourself to all the things on your to-do list. With your latest to-do list in hand, grab a fresh sheet of paper and follow these steps:

1. Focus on what brings you joy.

Scan the old list and put a bright-colored, big star next to the items that make you happy to think about doing. Be sure to also mark those things that will lead to outcomes that make you smile to envision — whether they are short-term or longer-term outcomes.

Start a new list, write “JOY!” at the top, and write those starred things on the list.

2. Create the next category — things you want to do.

Look through what is left on your old list and add a new colored bullet next to things you want to do. The “wants” need not be quite as exciting as your starred “joy” items, but they are a close second and belong on your new list.

Add them in the next tier of your new list, under the heading “WANT!”.

3. Take note of any “shoulds” on your old list.

If you see things that are there because you feel you “should” do them — whether that “should” was imposed by someone else or comes from your own thoughts — mark those “shoulds” with a big “X”.

Determine to drop those things!

That said, if you realize you do want to do any of them for some reason, reframe them as something you “want” to do and add them to the new list in the second tier. (Then, when you see them in the want category, you will approach them with a positive feeling.)

4. Identify things that need to be done.

We all have things on our lists that have to be done — but often we put things into this category when they really may not need to be there. Assess and mark the “need to be done” items with care, and add those to the next tier on your new list — labeled “NEEDS TO BE DONE”.

The trick here is to get these to-do’s done as quickly as possible. That will relieve the stress of seeing them linger on your list — or the stress of bearing the consequences if deadlines are missed.

The ideal way to get the “NEEDS TO BE DONE” to-do’s done quickly is to delegate them to others who can do them for you!

Make a sub-list of the items you can delegate. Be sure to put a check next to those items as you hand them off, and cross them off when you get confirmation they have been taken care of.

5. Look at what may be left on your old list

Are there any orphaned items, that did not get transfer to your new top tier JOY items, the second-tier WANT items, or the NEEDS TO BE DONE tier?

Think a bit about anything that has not been assigned. Might those to-do’s be delegated?

If you determine that they are not that meaningful or important to you, can you drop them?

Letting go of things is easier after careful consideration, and doing that can be liberating!

Assess your energy now

By working from your new list, making the things that fill you with delight — or will feel exciting to achieve — your top focus, you are bound to feel positive energy.

Being guided by the new list will help you keep from spreading yourself too thin; you’ll avoid the struggle of trying to do too many things.

Rather than feeling depleted and frustrated by not getting enough traction on things you care about the most, keeping your focus on what lights you up will feel wonderful!

That's how you can hit the sweet spot for where to put your precious time and attention.

And that feeling of rich energy will not only support you as you move through your tasks, it will help everything in your life to feel lighter and better.

On top of that, everyone around you will sense your positive energy. Taking this new approach to your to-do’s, you will not only help yourself, you will help others in subtle and meaningful ways.

More ideas are on the way

Next week I will go deeper into this subject, to give you more insights and suggestions to help you live each day in the flow of positive energy.

Learning how to leverage your energy, in many small effective ways, will fuel your life and help you live big!

If you want to talk about the ways you can live a life that is fueled by more positive energy, to get past stress, fears or doubts, I invite you to schedule aLive Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I'll be glad to give you new insights and perspectives about what hinders your energy, hear about the dreams you have for your future, and talk about what’s possible for you. We can explore if my coaching is a fit for you — and if not, there’s no problem. We’ll sort out your next best step.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you ready to slow down and love your life more?

If you are like me, you may have a tendency to do a lot.

I get excited about new ideas — I generate them all the time. I love learning new things. I like to help people. I take on a lot and often have a calendar without much white space on it.

And, more and more these days, I find myself yearning for space — space for quiet, rest, yoga, time outdoors in the glorious spring weather, and more time in my studio.

I realize this is just what I urge my clients to do — make space for themselves to be quiet, to think, to rest, and for self-care of every kind.

Richard Bach’s well-known quote is “We teach best what we most need to learn.” My story certainly illustrates that!

Creating space to slow down and be is life-long work for me. (That’s why the first chapter of my book is Slow Down and Be Still. It’s the foundation for living big!)

And, messages about doing too much, and a desire to be clear and intentional, keep coming in for me lately. The universe is sending me wisdom in many ways.

Here’s one way I am making more space for myself now

I recently remembered that a few years ago, thinking about this same challenge, I created a To-Don’t list. And, I made a companion To-Do list. Each had three key questions to guide me.

I am pulling them out again!

Why not use these tools and see what happens for you?

Here are the questions to consider for what goes on your To-Don’t list:

• What can I defer?
• What can I delegate?
• What can I dump?

Here’s the key to what to put include on your To-Do list:

• What gives me energy?
• What brings me joy?
• What keeps me out of trouble? (After all, some things must be done.)

And, I have decided to add two new criteria for my To-Do list entries:

• Is it fun?
• Will it move forward something that is really important to me?

I am determined to defer, delegate and drop as much as possible, and not add anything to my to-do list that does not match my new criteria.

(And if you, like me, have found to-do lists hard to manage, I just started to use an app that I really like. The free version of Remember the Milk is great.)

This quote is helping a lot

This brilliant quote was recently shared with me:

“I am working toward a time when everything brings me joy.”

It was attributed to Maya Angelou, but I have been unable to confirm that. In any case, the words of this quote sound simple enough, but I think they are profound.

What if we could each keep this statement in our minds, and let it guide us? Can you imagine how much could change by simply returning to that intention each day?

That guidance in now helping me choose when to say “Yes” and when to say “No” — with love. This simple awareness has been a game-changer.

This new acronym is inspiring me

I had a great conversation last week with my dear coach and friend, Peleg Top. He has been on a sabbatical, and he is focusing on the joy of simply being.

He told me that he is replacing FOMO (the fear of missing out), with JOMO — the joy of missing out!

I totally love that idea, and have been reminding myself of it daily.

What works best for you?

As I always say, the small changes we make have a big impact, and with consistency the impact grows over time. I am starting small with the powerful ideas I shared here, and am committed to building in open space on my calendar and keeping it that way!

And, just as the quote and the new acronym prove, we can learn so much from one another.

Please share what you have done to make space in your life. I would be delighted to hear your ideas. Leave a comment to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Want a marvelous (and easy) way to fire up your life?

We are about to move from winter into spring! We can feel new possibilities in the air, and feel hopeful as the tide seems to be turning significantly to bring an end to the pandemic.

I am filled with optimism, even as I know we are far from a full recovery of health and safety, economic security for all, and fully addressing racial and social injustice.

I believe the best way you can propel your life forward now is to start focusing on something that's both easy to do and absolutely delightful.

Focus on joy today

Even if you have not yet been vaccinated, can you feel life opening up like I do? Does that lift your spirits? That feeling, my friend, is a glimmer of joy.

Cultivating joy sets a foundation on top of which great things can happen.

But joy is often regarded as frivolous, or not worthy of attention. If you have not tuned in to joy and all of its benefits, read on.

Why joy is important

I’m happy to share that the benefits of joy have been documented.

Joy improves heath. It reduces stress and pain, boosts our immune system, and promotes overall well-being. It makes us more resilient (something we all can certainly use). Living joyfully may even add years to your life.

In addition, joyful people have been observed to be kinder, more patient, and even more successful.

And the great thing is that joy can be actively pursued and cultivated. Sadly, many of us rush through our lives and miss opportunities for joy.

Three simple ways to bring more joy into your life

1. Look for wonder

When you actively look for wonder in your midst, there is always something marvelous to be found. Even in a seemingly unremarkable place, you can spot a moment of light and shadow, or a quirky detail, or the shape of an interesting tree as you look up at the sky, that can give you a moment of delight.

That delight you feel? That’s a bit of joy that can fuel your day.

2. Create beauty

We have endless opportunities to create moments of beauty.

What colors can you bring into a meal today — orange sweet potatoes? red beets? dark greens in your salad? How can you serve the food to be especially beautiful? What bowl or plates will you choose? I promise even the simplest food will taste better when you make it beautiful to look at, and the beauty will spark joy.

The same thing happens when you arrange items on your bookshelf with care, rather than just cramming things in. Each time you look at it you can experience a moment of pleasure.

And consider a color you hanker for, that will wake up your spirit now. Look for a scarf, or a flower, or a picture, or an item of any kind in that color, and you are sure to smile.

3. Connect to people who make you happy

When we choose to be with people who are full of positive energy, we naturally feel more joyful.

Whom can you reach out to and make a plan to meet?

We went to a sculpture park on the weekend and saw people safely enjoying the beauty of art in a great natural setting. Doing something like that with someone you enjoy will bring more joy into your life — you’ll experience the joy of being together as you feel inspired by the beauty of the art around you.

Reaching out to connect by phone works, too, and that can be done in the spur of the moment, without needing to deal with logistics.

Any way you can think of to share time with people you enjoy will add more joy to your life.

I believe that joy is our birthright

We can all bring more joy into our lives, and in doing so, we reap wonderful benefits. And the more joy you create, the more joy you will feel. The more joy you feel, the bigger the ripple effects will be — inside of you and for those around you.

The seeds of joy you plant and nurture will reap results that can be remarkable.

You deserve an abundance of joy. It’s key to living big.

How will you add more joy to your life today?

I am eager to hear!

Leave a comment and let me know how you experiment and choose to cultivate joy. I’d also love to hear about how you experience joy, and how joy supports you to live your best life.

And if, even with the addition of more joy, you don’t feel on track to live the life you yearn for, you may be thinking that a guide can help you. If so, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create — so they can step into making those visions their reality.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives, as well as ways you can begin to change your life for the better right away.

We can explore the possibility for you to be a part of my next Live Big Live! retreat, to help you create the life you want and deserve. And, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The perfect week for combining love + creativity

Here we are — the big holiday week of the year has arrived, and it’s also the week we celebrate the Winter Solstice.

As I do not celebrate Christmas, I enjoy seeing the pleasure so many friends experience on this holiday. And I am always glad to rejoice in celebrating the Solstice. While December 21st was the shortest, darkest day of the year, we now begin to enjoy a bit more daylight each day. This always lifts my spirits as we move into a new year.

And what a year this has been. I feel confident saying this is a year we will all remember, and we are all ready to bid adieu.

Now, more than any year in memory, we all need an abundance of light and love!

Make this a week to slow down, relax, and consciously welcome love

Even though we cannot be with friends and family in person as we long to, there are many ways to create connection and share love.

We must be extra-careful to stay safe and keep others safe. But that does not mean we need to feel apart in our hearts.

What new ways of connecting can you create now, that will hold meaning for you and those about whom you care?

While many of us feel “zoomed out” by work meetings, Zoom has proven to be a great way to share a meal, play a game, meet with family members at great distances to laugh together, and do creative projects (from my now-virtual monthly IgNight Creative Evenings to my weekly art-making dates with my grandson).

There are countless ways to create meaningful and memorable connections.

No matter what is happening around us and for us, we always have the power to create

Some of us have moved through the months of the pandemic with more ease than others. Many have suffered terribly. We have all been challenged — and changed.

And, as always, some people in similar situations fair better than others. Those that do best are those who are able to find the most positive frame of mind and the most positive path to pursue.

This is what I call creating our way forward

When things get tough, a creator looks for possibilities that are not obvious.

A creator considers new ways of responding. This can mean new ways of getting support, or new ways of coping with stress — whether it’s through creative expression, by reaching out, by ramping up self-care, by getting out in nature, or anything else. By choosing to create each next step with intention, rather than reacting, amazing things are possible.

A creator tries and tests new approaches. It might be for managing day-to-day life, for running a business or bringing in new streams of income, for setting up ways family members can all cohabit and do their work and learning, or anything else.

A creator keeps an open mind and stays curious. When you ask yourself, “What’s possible?” you are always considering how to find the best path forward.

A creator also looks for wonder and tunes in to gratitude every day.

Approaching your life this way keeps the heart open. When you combine an open heart and an open mind new possibilities show up.

Love + Creativity make a powerful combination

I invite you to bring love and light into your life in as many ways as you can dream up.

All that dreaming is connected to your creative power. You have a bottomless well of creativity. You cannot run out of it, so use it with abandon!

When you are focused on love, and you create with intention, fear stays at bay and joy increases. And who doesn’t want a tremendously joy-filled holiday season?

Start now, and it will be easy to carry this beautiful energy into the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

It's time to demystify “creativity” and start living it!

I have a question for you: Are you open and willing to be creative?

I know that for many people this is a scary proposition. For others the question broaches a topic that is interpreted in so many ways that it’s hard to know how to begin to think about it.

Here’s some perspective that may help you consider the question for yourself.

Being creative means...

So many brilliant people have offered definitions of what it means to be creative. I will throw out a few ways you can think about creating that I hope will dim any fear or confusion.

Being creative means…

• being willing to think about things in a new way

• being willing to take a chance and do something new and different

• being excited about new possibilities and dreaming up what those might look like

• being willing to play and experiment

• slowing down — instead of reacting reflexively — and considering what your best options are or what might be possible

When you consider being creative in these ways, I hope it does not feel so hard to imagine yourself being a creator.

I hope it doesn't feel like creating is only for those “talented” people, like painters and novelists and musicians.

Rather, creating is something we can all do all the time, and being a creator can lead us all into a better future!

Consider this scenario

I was in a conversation with a brilliant business owner. We talked about the challenges of connecting to new prospects for her high-touch service business now that their tried and true approaches of the past have become impossible to use in the pandemic.

Yes, things are different now.

And, there is an opportunity to try something new — to not only connect, but to make a distinctive impression and make a meaningful connection in a surprising way. We brainstormed about several exciting possibilities.

When the question arose about how people would likely respond to such novel approaches, I suggested she might ask some current clients how they’d respond to the ideas. Outreach like that has a bonus, too. It’s an opportunity to connect to key current clients and hear how they are doing and what’s on their minds. She was excited to bring the new ideas to her senior team.

All of these possibilities grew from a concern about how hard it is to operate within the constraints of these times. By thinking in new ways, by getting curious and playful as we considered what might be possible, new ideas started to emerge quickly.

I can’t wait to hear the outcome of their new efforts.

When we focus on what’s possible, things change

It’s easy to feel stuck and stymied — about personal matters and in our businesses, our work and our careers.

When we can relax and begin to generate ideas without feeling like every one of them has to be great, we start to find directions that are exciting to explore and test. We have a whole new level of energy. Our spirits are lifted. We are motivated and excited.

We have never needed to be creative more than now!

And keep in mind that we get what we focus on. So, check in with yourself frequently and take note of where you are focusing.

What do you plan to focus on now?

Can you shift gears and focus on new possibilities? New ways of living that will bring you new levels of joy and satisfaction? New ways of serving your clients or doing your work? New ways of interacting with others, in every sphere of your life?

Can you bring a focus to gratitude for all the good in your life right now — especially in this holiday week when we collectively focus on thankfulness?

With gratitude as a foundation, you can more easily layer on the open mindset of being a creator, as you bring your focus to what matters to you.

Cultivate the joy of creating and watch what happens!

As the days are long, dark, cold and often wet, you can chose to activate the joy of creating.

Here are four possibilities:

1. Join me for an evening of shared creative fun at IgNight — now on Zoom, so you can join from anywhere! Each month we gather to create in a new, inspiring way.

2. Get your copy of Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life and dive into the terrific practices that will help you to create exciting change in your life.

3. Make a vision board with me on December 13, when I join my long-time mentor and colleague, Peleg Top, as a guest teacher for a virtual Vision Board Party! Making a vision board now is a great way to step into 2021 with clarity.

4. Check out Live Big Live!, the powerful new program I created last summer that was life-changing for the first group of women who experienced it. The next Live Big Live! will launch soon, and will support another great group of like-minded women to close out 2020 on a high note and move into 2021 as remarkable creators of the visions they define for their futures.

Stay safe and well, enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving, and keep creating.

Curious about how core values can help you live big?

It won’t surprise you that I have been thinking a lot about my mother, who died on August 21. (If you missed what I wrote about her last week, treat yourself to some inspiration.)

In my reflections, I have been thinking about the core values in her life, that informed the remarkable imprint she left on everyone who knew her.

Core values are front of mind for me these days. In the work I am doing with a group of remarkable women, I am helping each to go through a process of identifying her core values.

Why?

I believe we benefit enormously when we are clear about our guiding principles. We see ourselves with more clarity and insight. We can not only live with more integrity, we can more easily make decisions and choices that are right for us. And we are better able to create futures that align with who we truly are.

What can core values look like?

My mother’s core values, as I saw them, included:

• creating and elevating beauty in all she did, and inspiring others to see and create beauty

• creativity — she was a fantastic artist and her cooking was legendary 

• love — of family and friends, and she created meaningful new relationships with ease

• hospitality — closely related to love, hosting special gatherings gave her great joy

• striving for perfection — sometimes to an extreme

• justice — she believed in the rights of all people to be treated fairly and afforded opportunity

My mother rarely wavered. She was clear about all she believed in. These values guided her each day of her life.

How do a parent’s values influence you?

As my mother’s daughter, all of her values influenced my life.

Like most children, it was natural for me to try and model myself after my mother. This was mostly for the good. I adopted her love of beauty, I actively strive for social justice, and I love deeply. In time, I became an artist.

But occasionally, as in the case of her focus on perfectionism, the influence was not so positive. It has taken me years to be able to aim for excellence without pushing myself to the impossible extreme of perfectionism.

Can you see yourself through the lens of core values?

As we each grow and evolve through life, we become unique individuals. My list of core values has some overlaps with those I see as my mother’s, but it is unique to me. 

My list begins with love. Love is closely followed by creativity that's paired with curiosity. (Following my curiosity has helped to free me from the perfectionism that hampered me for many decades.)

Happiness, joy and gratitude are core for me. My love of beauty came directly from my mother. Exploration — of ideas and new places — is also on my list. 

Leadership paired with vision; justice paired with tolerance; generativity; and accountability paired with resourcefulness round out my list of values.

What about your values?

Have you thought about the values that guide you? If not, I recommend that you set aside some time to think about them, and identify your short list of what is truly central to the way you live.

Of course there are many attributes that matter to all of us. The challenge is to think of those that are most true, through and through, for you.

For instance, there may be lots of things that are important to you, like honesty, or boldness, dependability, honor, grace, success, uniqueness, patriotism, fidelity, piety, diligence, or security — to randomly name a few possibilities. 

When you think about things that ring true, consider if they are core values for you — if they always guide you. You can consider paired values, or related attributes, as I have in my short list above, as you get to your focused list.

And while you might want to think about where your core values originated, be certain all that you claim are yours! Remove anything on your list that’s imposed, or expected of you by others.

Aim to narrow your list to 6 to 8 core values.

How to use your list.

With your core values in hand, you have the opportunity to think about how you want to live into them.

Are there some values you want to expand, or go deeper with? For me, the realization that I had a long-held deep desire to explore more creative expression, but had allowed fear to limit me for so much of my life, finally supported me to enroll in a painting course. When I stopped stifling a core part of myself, and stepped into being an artist, my life changed in ways I never imagined would be so satisfying.

And remember that there are seasons in life when you can bring more focus to some of your values than had been possible at other times. Perhaps you will explore ways to expand the role of a key value as your life circumstances change.

Can you start to see new possibilities for yourself? Are there new ways to live your core values now, and new ways be bring them into your vision for the future, so you will live your biggest, best life?

Where will your core values take you?

Turning your attention to identifying your core values might feel like another “to-do” you don’t have time for. I get it. Life can be hectic.

And, your life can be enriched by creating space to consider what your core values are, and when you use them as a reference.

Making life decisions that are fully aligned with your values is very empowering. You are likely to feel clearer and bolder about your decisions when you have that resource to refer to.

If you would like to talk about core values and how they can help you move beyond what limits you into a future that will light you up, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can be a powerful creator in your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

My holiday gift for you

Whether you are busy cooking, or traveling, hanging out and relaxed, or stressed over last-minute tasks as this email catches your eye, the holidays are impacting all of in us in one way or another.

I have a few wishes — and invitations — for you right now (that I welcome you to share as widely as you like).

I wish you holidays filled with light and love.
I wish you time to savor all that is wonderful in your life.
I invite you to create space to contemplate what you truly want.
I invite you to look for opportunities for rich conversations.
I invite you to create from the energy of whatever emotions show up, in any way you are moved to do that.
I invite you to bring play and laughter into your life.
I invite you to remember the importance of self-care, and do something special for yourself every day.
I invite you to slow down so that everything will be easier (and better).
I wish you happy anticipation about the possibilities that lie ahead for you.
I wish you willingness and commitment to pursue what deeply matters to you.
I wish you peace and joy.

Sent to you with love and gratitude.

Poetry to open your heart

Poetry is magical. I am in awe of those who use words to they elevate ideas and communicate directly with our hearts. Here’s a favorite, and I will share others from time to time.

Reading powerful poems has inspired me to write my own, too.

Why not play with words to express what you are feeling and thinking? Your poems need not rhyme. Simply start with an idea or emotion and see what emerges as you chose and arrange words with brevity, playfulness, fresh imagery, and joy.

True Joy

Release the past
Release the pain
Look forward
Smile

This place
Is where I’m meant to be
My true calling
My destiny

To be in joy
To bring on joy
To celebrate
Me

Excited
Amazed
Open
Is who I want to be

Ready for a
New adventure
Diving into the unknown
Rising
Up
Up
Up
And taking the world
Along for the ride.

– Peleg Top

Let love be your secret power

I hope your new year is off to a great start. For many, January was a time for making resolutions. If you set goals for the year, this is a good time to check in and take stock of how things are going.

If you are committed — and are taking consistent action — to the exercise you want to do more of, or the decluttering you set out to tackle, the job search you decided to initiate, or any other objective you have to make this a great year, I say, “Bravo!”

On the other hand, if you’ve struggled to get traction, take consistent action, or have had set-backs or feel discouraged, this is a great time to get back on track. There are still 11 months of the year ahead!

Here’s how to stay the course — or get back on track — as you pursue your goals and resolutions.

Leverage love!

Love is a powerful resource that’s always available to you, and that you can turn to at any time. Curious about how love will help you meet your goals? Here's the way this works.

Love powers your life in remarkable ways when you put it into action. And to help love do its magic, I suggest you begin with a simple technique: Pay attention to the words you say to yourself.

Because the words you use have a huge impact. The actual language of your thoughts matters!

It’s time to start speaking to yourself with love.

We tend to be incredibly hard on ourselves when we feel we are falling short in some way. If someone walked up to you and said, “What a loser! I can’t believe you didn’t make it to yoga class today!“ how would you feel? That would be harsh and mean, right? 

If you’d be unhappy to hear that from someone else, why would you use a similarly negative tone when thinking to yourself? Instead, consider loving ways to speak to yourself.

Loving self-talk about something that feels discouraging might sound like this: “Okay, you missed the yoga class today. Why not register now for the next one, and clear space on the calendar to be sure to get there? It will feel wonderful to spend that hour with a great teacher and so many lovely people! And, it will make the rest of the day so much more pleasant.”

Speaking to yourself with love will come naturally when you cultivate self-love in many ways. The idea is to stop being accusatory. Stop putting yourself down. Start treating yourself tenderly, like the deserving person you are.

Try these 3 easy ways to practice self-love and bring more loving self-talk into your life.

1. Look at yourself in the mirror for a minute or two after you’ve washed your face each evening. Smile. Place a hand on your heart and say a few loving words to yourself. Yes, it will likely feel awkward, but if you do this every day for a week or two, it will get easier. Keep going! You’ll start to notice a shift in your self-talk throughout each day.

2. Closely watch the words you choose in your thoughts about yourself. Do not label yourself in ways you would find unacceptable by others. Be positive, supportive, and encouraging — just as you would with someone special in your life. Reflect on the language you use and the circumstances when you give yourself the messages that most touch your heart, and find opportunities to do more of that.

3. Treat yourself to small moments of delight — like time to sit and simply breath quietly for two minutes. Or take a break to walk in the fresh air. Or soak in a bubble bath. Or take a few extra minutes to savor the taste of your meal in quiet, rather than multitasking. As you take time for yourself, remind yourself of your talents and all the great things you do in the world. You might even want to start a self-love journal, where you can make a note each day of several ways that you are special. (Keep it handy and refer to it whenever you feel discouraged!)

While everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day as a single day for love, you can choose to fill your heart with love, and fill your thoughts with loving words about and to yourself, every day. This self-love will be an enormous help as you pursue the goals and dreams that deeply matter to you. 

And, there’s a bonus: The more fully you love yourself, the more love you will have for others in your life!

How gratitude super-powers life

We can cultivate states of mind that open us to creativity and enhance our happiness and well-being. That open our heart in beautiful ways. That plug us in to the glories of the world around us.

Focusing on love is one such state of mind. Being at peace, and consciously spreading peace is magnificent. Focusing on the moment we're in — without dwelling on the past or fast-forwarding to the future — calms and centers us. Being joyous keeps us from suffering anxiety and worry when there's no real danger in our midst.

These are all important and powerful forces that we can be mindful of, and that we can make a reality in our day-to-day lives if we focus on them. They let our spirit soar. They set the stage for goodness of all kinds.

I created a little pad of Gratitude sheets that I keep on my desk. It's a great prompt for me to make a list every day.

And, there's something else we can add, that not only amplifies all of that wonderfulness, it accelerates the benefits of those states of being. Gratitude is the extra ingredient that can make life enormously rich and rewarding.

Gratitude tunes us in to small moments of wonder and loveliness — the things that typically go unnoticed as we go through our days. When we take a few minutes each day to jot down 5 things, 10 things, even 12 things for which we're grateful, we are alert to our lives in a new way. And we can rejoice in all there is to feel grateful for. 

When we practice gratitude we are slowing down — slowing down to notice things we can appreciate, and slowing down to note them. We can write that we're grateful for the restored health of someone we love, for the momentary kindness of a stranger, for having a safe place to live, for the inspiration found in a newspaper article, for an insight we gleaned in a conversation, for the taste of something delicious, for the fun of laughing with a friend, for a discovery made on an outing, for the budding of trees and blooming of flowers, for courageously trying something new, for the sweetness of watching a young child at play.

There are endless things for which we can feel gratitude. When we observe those things, and note them as we start our day, before switching off the light at night, or any time and place in between, we are enriching our hearts and connecting to all the sweetness in life. 

In addition to better emotional wellbeing, we have greater vitality when we are grateful. Gratitude enhances our relationships — we are in a kinder state of mind and more empathetic. Science shows that grateful people feel better physically, having fewer aches and pains and sleeping better, and there's even evidence that they have stronger immune systems. We feel better about ourselves and experience less doubt. And, we are more emotionally resilient when the inevitable challenges come up in our lives. 

All of these benefits make life so much sweeter. We can feel so much more open and ready to make the most of our lives. We can be courageous and live creatively in every moment. We can put fear aside and be bold. Gratitude helps us to truly live big.