Want a marvelous (and easy) way to fire up your life?

We are about to move from winter into spring! We can feel new possibilities in the air, and feel hopeful as the tide seems to be turning significantly to bring an end to the pandemic.

I am filled with optimism, even as I know we are far from a full recovery of health and safety, economic security for all, and fully addressing racial and social injustice.

I believe the best way you can propel your life forward now is to start focusing on something that's both easy to do and absolutely delightful.

Focus on joy today

Even if you have not yet been vaccinated, can you feel life opening up like I do? Does that lift your spirits? That feeling, my friend, is a glimmer of joy.

Cultivating joy sets a foundation on top of which great things can happen.

But joy is often regarded as frivolous, or not worthy of attention. If you have not tuned in to joy and all of its benefits, read on.

Why joy is important

I’m happy to share that the benefits of joy have been documented.

Joy improves heath. It reduces stress and pain, boosts our immune system, and promotes overall well-being. It makes us more resilient (something we all can certainly use). Living joyfully may even add years to your life.

In addition, joyful people have been observed to be kinder, more patient, and even more successful.

And the great thing is that joy can be actively pursued and cultivated. Sadly, many of us rush through our lives and miss opportunities for joy.

Three simple ways to bring more joy into your life

1. Look for wonder

When you actively look for wonder in your midst, there is always something marvelous to be found. Even in a seemingly unremarkable place, you can spot a moment of light and shadow, or a quirky detail, or the shape of an interesting tree as you look up at the sky, that can give you a moment of delight.

That delight you feel? That’s a bit of joy that can fuel your day.

2. Create beauty

We have endless opportunities to create moments of beauty.

What colors can you bring into a meal today — orange sweet potatoes? red beets? dark greens in your salad? How can you serve the food to be especially beautiful? What bowl or plates will you choose? I promise even the simplest food will taste better when you make it beautiful to look at, and the beauty will spark joy.

The same thing happens when you arrange items on your bookshelf with care, rather than just cramming things in. Each time you look at it you can experience a moment of pleasure.

And consider a color you hanker for, that will wake up your spirit now. Look for a scarf, or a flower, or a picture, or an item of any kind in that color, and you are sure to smile.

3. Connect to people who make you happy

When we choose to be with people who are full of positive energy, we naturally feel more joyful.

Whom can you reach out to and make a plan to meet?

We went to a sculpture park on the weekend and saw people safely enjoying the beauty of art in a great natural setting. Doing something like that with someone you enjoy will bring more joy into your life — you’ll experience the joy of being together as you feel inspired by the beauty of the art around you.

Reaching out to connect by phone works, too, and that can be done in the spur of the moment, without needing to deal with logistics.

Any way you can think of to share time with people you enjoy will add more joy to your life.

I believe that joy is our birthright

We can all bring more joy into our lives, and in doing so, we reap wonderful benefits. And the more joy you create, the more joy you will feel. The more joy you feel, the bigger the ripple effects will be — inside of you and for those around you.

The seeds of joy you plant and nurture will reap results that can be remarkable.

You deserve an abundance of joy. It’s key to living big.

How will you add more joy to your life today?

I am eager to hear!

Leave a comment and let me know how you experiment and choose to cultivate joy. I’d also love to hear about how you experience joy, and how joy supports you to live your best life.

And if, even with the addition of more joy, you don’t feel on track to live the life you yearn for, you may be thinking that a guide can help you. If so, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create — so they can step into making those visions their reality.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives, as well as ways you can begin to change your life for the better right away.

We can explore the possibility for you to be a part of my next Live Big Live! retreat, to help you create the life you want and deserve. And, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Now is the time to shape your vision. Here’s how.

It’s easy — and comfortable — to focus only on the day-today, where you are now. When you keep doing the things that come easily, things you do out of habit, and living the way you’re used to, on and on without question, you cheat yourself.

When you never sit back and take a long view you fail to consider big questions and new possibilities.

What you do now matters in the long term!

Because when you live without pausing to consider what you really want, and what it will take to shift to make that desire our reality, you stay stuck where you are.

After all, when you keep doing things the same way, you are sure to get the same results.

It may feel challenging to get your head around asking big questions about the life you want to live, and what changes may be needed to make it a reality.

Why not set aside a few minutes to get clear? My 6-part framework is a great way to approach the process.

Look ahead and consider 6 key domains of your life

Sit back in a quiet spot and get comfortable. Have a notebook handy, and maybe a cup of tea.

Close your eyes and think about your life a few months from now, and a year from now. Ask yourself what you want that life to look like. What can you envision that connects to the desires in your heart?

Think about your work

Do you want to make changes — either in the kind of work you do, where you do it, the level you yearn to reach, or who you want to work with each day? Do you want your work to have a bigger impact, or a new focus?

Think about your relationships

Are there any relationships in your life that you realize your are tolerating, that you want to change, or maybe end? Are there some relationships you miss and want to add? Are there some you want to focus on and improve? Are there some wonderful relationships that you want to make a bigger part of your day-to-day life?

Think about your environment

Consider your living space and your work space. Does your environment support your well-being? Are there pockets of clutter around you that sap your energy? Is your environment calm, does it function well, is it a pleasure to live in? Do you have adequate comfort? Do you have access to nature, if that matters to you? What would make your environment more supportive of your day-to-day happiness?

Think about your physical and emotional well-being

Are you eating well? Are you getting enough regular exercise? Do you move in ways that make you happy, or do you want to switch things up? How is the quality of your sleep? Do you get enough rest each day? Are you irritable or content?

Think about your spirit

Does your spirit soar, or do you feel discontent or restless? Do you have a spiritual practice, or wish for a more satisfying one? Do you feel connected to your purpose? Do you trust and believe in yourself? Do you feel inspired and hopeful?

Think about the legacy you want to leave

Have you paused to think about your legacy? What are you doing now that will leave a mark that matters to you — be it with those closest to you, or that will impact your community, or maybe the world? What can you bring into your life, or make a focus, that will leave a meaningful legacy?

After spending time with these questions, you may have a few notes or pages of thoughts!

Consider what showed up in your notes

Do you realize that you want to step into a bigger, clearer, more intentional life? Do you envision being on a path to a life that will light you up in bigger ways?

The vision for your future might be focused on your work, on more personal expression, on the quality of your relationships, or a combination of factors that will bring you joy and satisfaction.

Savor the images that light up your heart. Sit with them, and begin to see them as your future reality.

Now is the perfect time to make your vision a reality

It can feel wonderful to envision a new future, and in the next breath it can feel really scary to think about stepping out of your comfort zone.

It can feel daunting to imagine yourself making the changes you envision in any (or several) of the domains — or even figuring out what first steps you can take.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed and so afraid that you do nothing.

But doing nothing to stay comfortable in the short-term eclipses the possibilities for big benefits down the road.

Maybe, if you think about it, it’s actually scarier to keep living the same way you are now, and never creating the life you truly desire.

Let’s talk about your fears, and the life you really want

If you are serious about exploring what it looks like to begin making your vision a a reality, let’s have a conversation.

On a Live Big Breakthrough Call you can share both the changes you want to make in your future, and the fears and obstacles that are in the way. I promise that you will gain new insights and perspective.

And if you want to hear about my coaching programs (including the next Live Big Live!), and if I believe the fit is good, we’ll talk about the possibilities for working together.

I believe that everything great begins with a meaningful conversation. I welcome you to make a date with me today.

Has the time come to change a relationship (or two)?

In my recent post, I encouraged you to think about the people with whom you spend time. I asked you to think about who lifts you up, and if there are relationships you find challenging, or downright unhealthy.

I provided some guidance for how to think about people on the difficult end of that spectrum, if any come to mind.

Check it out, in case you missed it.

After providing some mindset scaffolding to help you consider what can be an uncomfortable issue, I posed two questions to ask yourself if you determine that making a change in the relationship will be in your best interest — if, like a tree or shrub, some pruning of the relationship is called for.

Here are the questions I offered for you to consider:

• Do I want to set a boundary, so that I will stay in contact with this person, but with less frequency?
• Is it time to disengage from this person completely?

Depending on which question you answered with a “Yes,” here’s how you can take action.

How to lovingly set a boundary on the number, or frequency, of interactions you have

Perhaps you are weary of daily calls, frequent texts, or a routine way of getting together with someone. (This could be anything from an obligatory weekly meal to an annual outing that you are ready to move on from.)

If you’ve concluded that staying in the relationship would be fine if the times and ways you connected were less intrusive, initiate a change. Think about how much happier you will be after setting better boundaries.

Plan to have a brief conversation

It may feel harder to speak with someone than to send a letter or an email. But this is a relationship that has a degree of importance to you (or you would opt to end it), and a conversation honors that. Further, sending a written message can be tricky, as the tone you intend to convey may be misconstrued by the reader.

Thoughtful preparation is in order. This is an opportunity to think creatively about the change you want to propose.

You might say that while you value the relationship and want to stay in touch, you are focused on important commitments in your life and you need to switch to a monthly or seasonal check-in — or some other proposed change.

Well in advance of an unappealing annual event, you can let that person know that your plans have changed this year, or that your time together will be shorter, or that you have an alternative location to suggest — or some other idea for how to stay connected.

Keep your communication simple and direct

Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into drama, if that shows up. Focus on love for yourself as well as for that person, and loving energy will come across.

When it’s time to disengage from a relationship and move on

If you realize there's a toxic dimension to being in relationship to this person and you’d be happier and healthier without them in your life, this is the time to initiate a change.

Your message can be expressed with kindness

While a conversation is often ideal, written communication can work as well, or may be better. Base your decision on the approach that will work best with that person, and try not to let fear enter into your reasoning.

Stay clear of drama. Calmly communicate that you need to take an extended break, or that it's time for you to move on from the relationship. It’s not necessary to over-explain or to be accusatory — focus on your need to make this change. As noted above, keep the communication simple and direct, and keep love in your heart as you speak or write.

Will it be easy to initiate changes like these?

Depending on the relationship you are thinking about, it may call on you to dig deep for courage — and a commitment to your own needs — to take a step like this.

And, it may be easier to make this change than you imagine.

If you are wavering, consider this important question:

Do you value yourself enough to take this step?

This question may touch a nerve. I have been there, and I’ve guided many of my clients to take courageous action like this.

It helps to think about how you will feel after you’ve moved ahead.

Envision the benefits of making this change

As I have experienced and seen many times, being on the other side of making a change that you are called to initiate is a great place to be. It opens space and possibilities and opportunities. It brings a feeling of lightness into your life.

And you will experience your ability to do something important, that will help you take more courageous action in the future.

I hope you will choose to surround yourself with people who truly support you, believe in you, and want only the best for you. Pruning unhealthy relationships has terrific rewards — and will set the stage for you to thrive!

Leave a comment below if you have thoughts to share about this subject.

And, if you want to talk about what it could look like to have support to bring important changes like these into your life, let’s schedule a call and talk about that (it’s a complimentary call). Start by answering some questions, so I’ll know more about what’s on your mind, and we’ll get the process started.

The people around you

Take a minute and think about the people with whom you spend time.

Why is this important?

The energy of the people around you has an impact — on your mood, your confidence, your outlook and your overall wellbeing.

And you get to choose with whom you engage.

Sure, there are some people in your life who may challenge you and with whom your connection is somewhat fixed. Family members, neighbors, and coworkers come to mind. Even in such relationships, making adjustments to the way you engage is possible.

I have had many clients, all accomplished women, tell me they have hung on to — and tolerated — relationships and “friendships” that drag them down. People who are needy, or judgmental, or envious (if not jealous), and who are takers more than givers. Some of those people demonstrate resentment for the positive changes they see my clients making, and are subtly critical, or try and seed doubts.

We’ve all had people like this come in and out of our lives.

If a relationship with such a person has been in place for a long time (a childhood friend, a pal from college, a colleague from the past) — or even with someone who recently came into your life — it’s easy to feel stuck with it. You may feel guilty just thinking about initiating a change.

But you owe it to yourself to change things that impede your ability to live your best life. And sometimes that means pruning relationships.

Pruning a shrub can mean cutting it back to make it healthier. And sometimes the shrub needs to be replaced, or needs to be removed for more light to fill your garden.

And so it can be with relationships.

Here’s what to do if you are thinking of someone who is not a positive force in your life.

Start with some mindset work to help you get clear

Set aside some time to get clear about the issues you have with that person. You need to be honest about problematic issues.

Self-love will help if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable embarking on this process. Check out some self-love information and advice I've shared before and see how focusing on some solid self-love can help you navigate this exploration.

Next, try this process

1. To take an honest look at the concerns you have about your interactions with this person, make a list or do some free writing to pour out your thoughts. Fill a page or two with everything on your mind.

2. If you determine that this relationship is sub-optimal, it’s time to get really clear about how making a change in the relationship will support your wellbeing.

A good way to do that is to make a new two-column list. On the left side, write the costs to you of staying in relationship with this person as you are now. On the right side, list the benefits you will experience if you initiate a change.

3. If you are clear that you would be better off without the negative impact of a trying relationship, and are willing to make a commitment to initiate a change, consider asking yourself these big questions:

Do I want to set a boundary, to stay in contact but with less frequency?
Do I want to disengage completely?

These questions may make you feel a bit shaky. Just sit with them for now. You do not need to rush into action, or fuss about what action to take.

I will guide you to moving forward on a pruning process — to set new boundaries, or to disengage — in my next post.

Until then, leave a comment me and share what insights you have about the people with whom you are choosing to surround yourself — in every part of your life.

Who are the people who truly support you, believe in you, and want only the best for you?
And who may need to be pruned to allow you to truly thrive?