Here's how to get unstuck

My work as a coach is focused on helping women to take action in their lives — action that will help them make the changes they desire in the short-term, and actions that in time will help them create the fulfilling lives they yearn for.

And for many women it can be a challenge to take action.

Before you commit to taking action, and especially a bold action that will move you beyond your comfort zone, you need to be clear about a few things.

Do you know what you want?

When I speak to women and ask what they want, many struggle to answer the question.

Some women are disconnected from their hearts and desires. When that seems to be the case, I patiently ask, “What do you want?” over and over, until something jogs her heart open and the woman connects to things she really desires.

Sometimes there is a feeling of unworthiness that keeps a woman from knowing what she desires, or daring to say it aloud. When this becomes apparent, we dive into what has made her feel that she is not deserving of what she wants.

And some women are absolutely clear about what they want. They want more love, or to reach the next level in their career, or more space in their lives, or to regain lost confidence, or to figure out what’s next, or new adventures.

How clear are you about what you want?

Are you willing to commit?

Knowing what you want is a necessary starting point to bring change into your life.

Yet sadly, many people say they want to do something or change something, and are stuck.

Actually taking action to make any kind of change takes courage and commitment.

Depending on the change you are clear about wanting to make, the level of courage that will be called for can be can be quite small, or it can be — or feel — significant. 

Finding the courage that is required and then being willing to commit to taking action is the only way to bring change into your life. 

The willingness to commit circles right back to how meaningful your desired change is — in your heart and mind.

When the desire is clear, it is easier to embrace the mystery of what it will take to make change and engage in the process of moving in that direction.

With a big desire, and an important “why” behind it, being willing to make a commitment will catapult you into finding a way to move forward.

Are you ready to take inspired action?

If you feel ready to initiate a change, know that you can start by taking small (even tiny) steps. Committing to moving forward consistently is how the magic unfolds.

And if you are ready to take bigger, bolder steps, that’s great too.

I invite you to take inspired action today!

Ask the question. Speak up. Do that thing that feels a bit uncomfortable but lets you shine. Set the boundary. Go for it.

And if you want support to make it easier and faster to bring desired change into your life, let’s connect. (Email me and we’ll make a date to talk.)

I’m rooting for you!

Creating Lasting Change with Simple Daily Habits

We all know how much focus athletes and musicians place on practicing. This is how even enormously accomplished athletes and musicians hone and fine-tune their skills to perform at their best.

Have you thought about what you practice on a regular basis?

In addition to thinking about practicing a skill such as being a better negotiator, or communicating more effectively, or developing your writing abilities, there are subtle ways that a focus on practice can improve your life.

Embrace practices that will help you thrive

The way you think and orient yourself each day has a remarkable impact on your life. Consider choosing to adopt some of these 4 practices.

1. Practice positivity

You can develop a "practice" of approaching everything in your day with a positive frame of mind. Choose to bring awareness to your thoughts, then consciously choose a positive lens through which to see and approach things throughout each day.

This is not to suggest that you push tough emotions aside when they show up!

Let yourself feel them, then do something to process them (such as writing about the feelings, talking things out with a close confidant, or taking a brisk walk). This will allow the difficult emotions space to dissipate.

Then choose positive thoughts and take positive steps forward.

2. Practice self-love

When you make self-love a focus, and include self-care as a way of emphasizing self-love, you build a remarkable foundation for wellbeing. Focusing your practice on small, consistent practices will be wonderfully effective. 

Your practice can include attending to physical wellbeing, like getting ample sleep, good nutrition and moving your body.

Your practice can be boosted when you include self-affirming thinking, choosing to set good boundaries, noticing when your self-critical thoughts show up, and choosing to believe in yourself in spite of the doubts.

And be sure to acknowledge yourself whenever you do something that is just outside of your comfort zone!

These are all self-loving, supportive, positive ways to move through each day.

3. Practice generosity

When you focus on generosity you get the satisfaction of contributing to the wellbeing of others, as well as the betterment of the world! 

And the benefits to you are significant. A regular practice of generosity reduces stress and anxiety, boosts to your immune system, and may even lead to longer life expectancy. 

4. Practice gratitude

Making a focus on gratitude a daily practice elevates your state of mind and enhances the outcomes of everything you do.

You might begin or end each day by noting 5 things (or more) for which you are grateful. Be sure to consider small, subtle things you can put on your list.

This will open your heart, and positive thoughts will be a natural outcome of your gratitude practice.

And there’s a bonus! Your expansive energy will be felt by everyone around you.

Practice with intention!

Deciding to start a practice is great. It’s when you bring clear intention to how and when you will practice that there is a higher likelihood that you will make this practice an ongoing, natural way of living.

You might start each day by setting an intention for great energy and a positive, can-do outlook. One part of my morning ritual is writing for 5 to 10 minutes about the energy I want to cultivate for my day, noting what I feel grateful for, and letting anything else that wants to come to the surface and be considered flow onto the page. I am then ready to get into motion. 

After establishing an orientation for the day (in whatever way works for you), you can bring a focus to the practice or practices you feel will be most supportive for you that day.

As you make a few new practices a regular part of your life, they will become automatic (like brushing your teeth twice a day without having to think about it). You can then easily add a new practice to make your focus.

As you practice, you are in the process of creating your best life — and there are no limits to what is possible for you!

Finding purpose amidst change: your journey starts now

Now that the transition from summer to fall is here, things have likely shifted for you. 

Schedules and routines change in many families. Traffic is heavier, requiring extra time to get around. The pace of life and work often picks up as more meetings and events fill the calendar.

And, sometimes shifts come to light slowly.

I felt something subtle shifting for me last year, and have been going through a period of change for many months. What was vague in my awareness at the start has become clear, and exciting shifts have been occurring for me over the last months.

I began to see a path to having bigger impact with my work, and more personal satisfaction. I have been speaking more and love it. I was moved to create 2 new retreats, Creation Vacation to start the year, and L’Aventure Française in the fall. Both provide longer, deeper experiences. And the 3-day Live Big Live! retreat I have loved leading for 4 years is now only offered each spring. 

I am also doing more work inside of organizations, where cohorts of women are engaged in learning together and having a bigger collective impact.

Making these changes entailed gaining clarity, then committing to taking action and allowing things to unfold over time.

Do you feel that things may be changing for you?

Whether there’s a change in play now that feels exciting, motivating, or nerve-racking, or something simply feels like it may be beginning to shift, each of us is always changing.

Let’s look at what may be going on for you.

How are you changing now? 

Pause and take stock of the ways you are changing. 

Whether you feel most comfortable staying static or relish things that are new and novel, change is inevitable!

Take a thoughtful look at what is happening in you as well as around you.

Are you aware of changes in your ways of operating, or how you are feeling or thinking? 

Perhaps you are excited and eager about something you’e involved with.

Perhaps there’s something you want to stop doing, or begin to do, and are considering how you will move forward.

Perhaps you yearn to do something inspiring, new or exciting that feels missing now.

Perhaps change is being imposed on you, and you realize it presents an opportunity. Or, maybe an imposed change has brought on fear.

Maybe you feel stuck, for a reason you are of aware of, or not.

Perhaps you have a hunch something is brewing and are patiently allowing clarity to emerge. 

And, it is likely that there are several changes in the mix for you. 

The good news is that when you bring awareness and add intention to how you want to respond to the changes that you identify, great outcomes are possible.

Move forward with intention

You can realize great outcomes when you choose your response to a change that is underway, rather than drift along (which sadly, is what most people do).

Perhaps you have tended to drift through life. I certainly did for a very long time.

I had ideas and took initiative. I started and ran a great business, and was a leader in many settings. But looking back I can see all of the ways I was not fully intentional — that I was drifting.

It was not until I started to take a clear look at my life (with the help of a wonderful coach whose questions prompted big awareness), that I realized I was no longer lit up by my work. I came to know I was ready to make a significant change. And making that change — selling my business — set me on the best path ever.

With awareness, you, too, can choose a clear direction and begin to move in that direction.

The change you choose to make your focus and pursue may be small and meaningful, or you may feel ready to make a bold change.

Whatever you make your focus and bring commitment to doing can have a life-changing impact.

I invite you to bring awareness to the changes you are facing and feeling now.

Then consider your best way forward and set your intention to take action, knowing you can course-correct over and over.

You will be on a meaningful path on your journey to true fulfillment.

Email me — I welcome you to share what is up for you now and the steps you are choosing to start with.

The power of intuition

As I used to rush through my days, I rarely slowed down to pay attention to small intuitive messages I occasionally received as whispers of warning.

And when I did get a feeling that something was amiss — like that a new prospective client was going to be hard to work with, or something felt “off” about a situation, I often ignored or over-rode the message.

I would convince myself it would be ok, or that my team would be able to handle the matter, or that it was not really something to take so seriously. 

Invariably, my initial instinct was correct.

I would have been wise to trust and heed that small voice in my head.

Sadly, when I ignored those intuitive messages, the reality sometimes turned out to be worse than I had a hunch it might be.

I finally decided to pay attention and to trust my gut.

Do you hear what your gut is telling you?

When you are perpetually busy it’s hard to hear the messages your gut — your intuition, your second brain — is sending you.

Even still, getting a “feeling” that something is not a good idea has happened for nearly all of us.

If you recall something like that, you have evidence. 

The fact is, your intuition is powerful and has a lot to tell you. The key is to create the conditions to hear what it’s saying, and then to actually listen to what you hear.

How to clearly hear the small voice inside you

It’s hard to hear what intuition wants you to know when your attention is focused on doing, or you are constantly checking in on your phone or otherwise filling your brain with “input”.

Instead, create a little quiet. Sit. Breathe slowly. Walk outside. Meditate. Take any sort of break without doing anything productive. 

You may be surprised at what shows up when you consistently make space for some quiet in your life. (Even a few minutes a day works wonders.)

The more you practice this, the more it will feel like a normal part of your life. And more messages from that wise voice inside are likely to come up.

Why it can be hard to trust your gut — and how to build that trust

A big reason people ignore or over-ride intuitive messages is fear. 

When you are afraid to give up a new project, or leave a job that makes you miserable, or stay away from someone who may be a risk to your wellbeing — even when red lights of warning start flashing inside — you are likely to convince yourself it will all be fine. 

When uncertainty about what might come next feels too risky, or you habitually try to please someone, or not disappoint them, fear convinces you to mistrust the voice inside that’s telling you “Pay attention!”

Being able to recognize when fear is at play, and see how it is aiming to influence you, you can look at a situation with fresh eyes.

You can remind yourself that your inner voice knows a lot and is trust-worthy.  Look again at what it is urging you to consider. Proceed with eyes open and make choices that will ultimately serve you best.

Over time, you will have evidence that your “second brain” is filled with great wisdom and is a trustworthy guide.

It’s time to listen and trust

Take a moment to slow things down and get quiet today. Listen — to the subtle sounds around you and to messages that may show up.

Be patient. It may take a while for you to hear intuitive messages. 

They will come.

And they may come at unexpected times, like in the midst of a conversation, or while doing something routine, like washing dishes or driving a route you know so well it does not take a lot of concentration.

As you spot them, listen, trust, and choose your best way forward. You are sure to see how powerful your second brain is — and how powerful you are as you move ahead to create your best life.

Overwhelm to Openness: Embracing a New Way of Living

Most accomplished women work hard — really hard! Working hard was such a normal part of my life, for so long, that I did not believe there was any other way to live.

And I paid a steep price for living that way.

I was exhausted and stressed. And I missed out on so much The relaxed time with my family and friends that I yearned for was, instead, crammed into an overcrowded schedule. I was usually preoccupied, feeling pressure to get the next thing done.

I had trouble relaxing on vacations, too. 

I felt trapped and couldn’t envision how things would ever change.

What I learned that opened space — and elevated my spirit

My lessons have unfolded over time, and truth be told, none of them are quick-fixes. Accepting that reality and being patient as I made changes has made a significant difference in my life.

I patiently began to embrace new concepts and take new steps, that you may want to explore. Space opened up in my schedule, and even more amazingly, in my mind and heart.

Consider starting small. Choosing to implement these ideas can have a meaningful impact.

1. Create “white space” on your calendar

You may know that I owned a designer firm in my first career. One important principal in design is to leave ample white space in a layout or a web page, so the content is not dense or not crowded, allowing a reader to focus with ease.

Leaving white space on your calendar gives you space and time to focus on what is important, without clutter or stress (to your energy or spirit).

Consider what you are saying “Yes” to, and what “No’s” you can start saying.

Think about who you can delegate tasks to, and who you can turn to for help.

Putting this awareness to work is a game-chamger.

2. Sustain a positive frame of mind

In a world filled with constant tensions and issues — close to home and globally — it is easy to feel pulled into worry and drama. Thoughts like those used to highjack me.

What I learned and have practiced is to bring a focus to gratitude for all that is good. Try it and you will see that your attention will be directed to positive emotions. You’ll set yourself up to ride a wave of possibility. You will free your spirit to create! 

What might you create? New ideas. New actions to take. New conversations to initiate. New ways of expressing yourself, as you show up boldly in the world.

All of these positive ways of creating will move you into an elevated state of mind!

3. Let go and allow

While I was sure I had to figure everything out myself  — not to mention doing all that was entailed on my own — I have learned that there is power in creating an energetic foundation and allowing my spirit, and the universe, to assist me.

I know this may sound woo to many people, but bear with me!

• First I learned to open space in my life, as described in #1 above.

• Then I focused on sustaining a positive outlook, as in #2.

• I began to trust myself more. 

• I began to create actively all day every day. 

• I expanded my vision and started to dream bigger.

• And I allowed the energy of all of that to help me find my way.

I let go of having to have all the answers figured out before taking action.

And incredible things have appeared for me — insights, resources, new directions — that I would not have envisioned on my own!

What change will you make today?

This is a perfect time to explore a small new step that can lead to remarkable change in your life.

Take a first step. Then another.

And if you want support to get started, or to sustain your efforts, email me. We can talk about all that is possible for you and your path begin to creating the life you dream of.

Creating connections: energize your path with passionate people

With the Olympics just concluded, and having returned a few days ago from the National Speakers Association’s annual conference, Influence, I am reminded of something important that I always want to keep top of mind: the people we choose to surround ourselves with matter! They can lift us up, inspire us, and make us better.

It was exciting to see the way that great athletes raised one another up — those on their own teams, and often competitors from other countries. 

I experienced the same energy of generosity and enthusiasm at the Influence conference. Speakers of great renown were happy to share their insights and ideas in informal conversations, with people who were just starting or building their speaking careers. And being in the company of speakers who are passionate about the topics they share, and excited about the impact they have, felt electric.

When you are conscious about creating connections with people who are fired up and generous, who are committed to showing up boldly and doing big things, that energy supports you to feel passionate and motivated.

And when you are generous and inspired around others, the positive energy builds! 

I feel more excited than ever to support great women to boldly create the lives they desire. I want to do it on stages and in coaching engagements. I love leading retreats, where women go deep together in great places. I am fired up when I bring my work into organizations, to guide women to show up boldly and have their biggest impact.

By developing my offerings and doing my work alongside other bold creators, I always learn, and the energy I bring to everything I do always expands. 

Reach out and see what happens

Who can you contact today who is full of bold ideas and energy, who creates new opportunities, who will generously share with you, and who will see you in your highest light? 

You may be thinking of someone like that now. Invite them to connect, one-on-one or in a small group. 

You may be thinking of an existing community of people (maybe like those at the Influence conference that I attended) that you want to tap into in a bigger way.

When you choose to have more contact with even a small number of people who are filled with enthusiasm, ideas, and big hearts, you will have given yourself a priceless gift.

Embracing the unexpected: letting go of expectations

Last week my body forced me to slow down. I returned from an exciting week away, speaking at a great event, with COVID. I had no choice but to rest. (Happily, I am fully recovered now.)

I had expected to catch up from a a big to-do list after being out of my office, but the universe had other plans for me. 

I let go of expectations, and everything was fine! 

If you are like me, you’ve lived a life full of expectations, and have held them tightly.

A great life lesson, that I need to be reminded of (like when I was sick last week), is that I can let go of expectations and it will not only be fine — it is often better than fine!

Expectations can be a trap

Most of us set expectations about all sorts of things, typically without awareness that we are doing so. And most of them tend to limit us.

We expect things of ourselves and of others. And we often hold tight to those expectations. When we do, we suffer disappointments more often than not.

Typical examples that get in our way are:

• Expecting ourselves to get more done in a day than is reasonable. 

• Expecting ourselves to be perfect.

• Expecting things outside our control to be perfect.

• Expecting others to read our minds. 

• Expecting people to see things from the same perspective we do.

Living with these sorts of expectations running in the background keeps us from thinking and acting with agency — with awareness that we can always operate with creative power. 

Here’s what it can look like instead:

• Rather than driving yourself hard and feeling exhausted, you can approach your day with a focus on what is most important, and delegate or defer other tasks.

• Rather than expecting perfection from yourself, you can determine to approach everything with care and focus, and fully acknowledge and appreciate your best efforts.

• Rather than feeling disappointed by things outside your control, you can remember what you can and cannot control! (See the graphic below and refer to it often! You can download it here.)

• Rather than holding expectations that others know what you want and need and expect of them, you can communicate clearly.

• Rather than expecting others to see things as you do, you can choose to be open to other perspectives. You may find that others’ lenses offer you insight that you get to appreciate — or not.

What happens when you let go of expectations

I have learned that when I release expectations, I allow myself to be fully present to opportunities and possibilities. I trust that things are always working out for me, as I create my best day each day.

When I approach every day as one that I get to create — in my thinking and my actions — I often find possibilities that would not have been shown up I had held a tight grip.

How can you loosen your grip and release expectations, even a little today?

What will you create today?

Stepping boldly into the spotlight

I am away this week in Miami. On Thursday I will present a TED-style talk at the Superstar Summit. I will share a new topic, on a stage in front of a terrific audience, and the talk will be filmed.

Am I excited? Yes! 

Am I nervous? Yes I am.

I have been offered this same challenge the last two years. (This photo was taken at my presentation at the Summit in 2023.) And once again this invitation calls on me to trust myself to hone and shape a powerful, short talk, to get feedback from expert advisors, practice and internalize it in a limited time-frame, and deliver it with confidence.

This opportunity calls on me to trust myself and show up boldly.

It also means being ok being vulnerable, as I will take risks to address my topic in a dramatic way that I hope will move the audience.

I need to believe in myself.

The keys to my preparation 

It wasn’t very long ago that I had never spoken on a stage.

And for almost every speaking opportunity I have now — whether I am on a stage in front of an audience or speaking virtually to people in distant locations — I am delivering a talk I know well. 

The key factors that have helped me to present at this Summit in the past, and that I am focused on now, may be helpful for you — whether you will be on a stage, will bring your knowledge to people in other formats, or are considering opportunities that are outside of your comfort zone.

1. I can trust and honor myself.

I fully honor the knowledge I possess about creativity, after years of study. I honor my personal experiences as I have explored the vast power of creativity. And I honor the way my work with clients has illuminated and deepened my insights and knowledge. 

All of that enables me to trust myself to craft a talk and internalize my messages so I can share them with heart from the stage.

What do you know so well that you can trust yourself to share your insights and wisdom without doubts?

2. I am excited to share what I know that will enlighten others.

I am passionate about all that I have learned, observed and practiced, and am eager to share it so that others can find meaningful ways to bring more creativity into their lives and work. 

This enthusiasm helps me keep my focus on how my messages will serve others, and think less about my own nervousness.

How can you bring your focus to the positive impact you can have for other people, and think less about yourself in a high-stakes situation?

3. I remind myself that confidence is the outcome of stretching myself, rather than a necessary starting point.

If we all waited to feel confident before taking on a new challenge, there would be far fewer occasions for personal growth and learning!

I know that when I boldly step into accepting a new challenge that feels meaningful to me, or starting a new endeavor about which I have limited preparation, I am allowing myself to expand and grow.

I first make a commitment to move through discomfort as I learn new skills. 

I am also willing to stick with it as my abilities increase.

I then experience the satisfaction of mastery! That mastery is the stuff of confidence.

Confidence is the prize at the end of the cycle.

And there is always another level to aim for, allowing me to continue building confidence.

What are you willing and eager to commit to, to build confidence?

How might you step into the limelight now?

Imagine the impact if more of us show up boldly to bring our messages, expertise, and tools to others!

I hope you will join me and show up for others, no matter the “stage” or setting.

Stop fussing about if you are ready, or if you will be great, and simply bring your gifts to others with generosity and sincerity,

Please hit reply and share a small step you take this week.

I cannot wait to celebrate you!

Note: You can check out the Superstar Summit 2024 details, and see a great video, here. And if you are in Miami and want to attend the Summit on Thursday, July 11, a few seats are still available. Email me and I will get you registered!

Transform your day with intention

Each day offers you the opportunity to start fresh.

An approach I invite you to consider is to create an intention for the day you want to have when you wake up each day.

It might be to have a day where you choose “flow” instead of “push” energy.

It might be a day filled with trust and optimism.

It might be a day of fun, play and exploration.

Your intention might be to live with awareness — to tune in keenly in conversations, to thoughtfully consider the choices you make all day, to spot opportunities and possibilities that you’d miss if you simply rushed through the day (like most of us do).

Setting intentions works wonders

When you begin each day with a practice of setting an intention, you set yourself up for big possibilities.

You can turn around doubt or worry if something is on your mind when you wake up, that will positively impact both the way you feel and the outcomes of your efforts.

You can adopt a new mindset to bring to your day — one that will support you to think creatively and take positive actions.

By setting an intention for how you want to feel and show up, you positively orient yourself to everything that may happen as your day unfolds.

You pay attention in the moment.

You thoughtfully choose the actions you will take.

And whether things go wonderfully all day, or difficulties or challenges crop up, when you live with the awareness and focus of the intention you set, you will be able to respond with clarity.

You can start now

Take a moment (even if it is the middle of the day as you read this) to think about the rest of your day.

• Maybe you have a project to get done. 

• Maybe there are meetings or appointments on the schedule.

• Maybe there’s a conversation you need to have. 

• Maybe you have a window of free time.

• Maybe you are distracted about something. 

• Maybe you have something to figure out today.

Choose an intention to set now, that will support you to show up in the best possible frame of mind.

If you are unsure, here’s a n easy, effective way to sort out your thoughts:

Set a timer for a couple of minutes and let yourself free-write to consider the way you want to feel and act.

This approach lets you acknowledge the confused or upset or indecisive way you feel right now and play with new ways to see the situation. You can toy with new possibilities and choose a new frame for how you want to feel and show up. That can be your intension!

Intention-setting is a great daily practice

Each day, as your life evolves, you get to consider and set an intention. Your intentions may stay fairly consistent or shift as circumstances change. Explore what will support you each day.

Your intentions will bring focus and clarity to the way you live each day. 

This is a meaningful way you can create your best life

When you live intentionally, you live big.

Ignite your passion and Live Big!

What are you saying “Yes!” to these days? 

What juicy opportunities are right out there for you, that you can choose to act on?

What is in your heart, that you feel excitement about, that you have not yet made space to explore or pursue?

What are you passionate about that you can put higher on your list — maybe even at the top of your list — rather than never getting to it?

Is it time to make new choices?

All of us have things we must do that feel far from exciting. I am not suggesting that you drop everything to pursue a passion.

What I do invite you to consider is that something that tugs at your heart can be honored, and it is worth making space to pursue it.

Can you think of one thing that you want to do, or do more of, that you have pushed to the sidelines?

Maybe you long to

• initiate a new project

• have an adventure

• go back to school

• go after a big opportunity in your career

• bring like-minded people together

• express yourself in a new way

• learn a new skill

• show up in a big way to advocate for something important to you

To do anything like that you’re likely to have to stay, “No” to some things that are part of your life now.

Rather than settling for the current routine, that likely includes things that you do not feel excited about and that can be dropped, delayed, or otherwise adjusted, you can choose to make space  — and time — for that thing that really matters to you, and that will add joy to your life.

Let passion be your compass

When you honor who you are and what you desire, and make changes to take action in the direction that your passion is pointing to, you will feel excited to pursue it.

That excitement is potent, positive energy. And positive energy expands. When activated, it lights up much in your life!

You are worthy of that excitement and energy and satisfaction.

And once you have ignited it, that energy can steer you into the future in ways you may not be able to imagine.

So start — even a small start lights the spark and steers you in a direction that your heart yearns for.

And if you’re thinking you do not have something specific in mind as you read this, aim for awareness of what is possible for you to explore that would bring a spark to your life. 

I'll be excited to hear what you bring new energy to, and cheer you on as you create your life in inspiring ways!

And, if I can support you to connect to your heart and take action (whether it’s a small start or a big step) to bring that new dimension into your life, let’s talk. 

Helping great women like you to create and live their biggest, best lives — to Live Big — is my passion!

Finding opportunity in adversity

Who hasn’t felt discouraged when something failed to go as hoped, or plans fell through, or an outcome that seemed promising fell flat?

People sometimes find themselves sliding from discouragement into more negative thoughts, of deep disappointment, anger, feeling defeated, and sometimes, feeling hopeless.

Even as things feel heavy, when you choose to make a key shift in thinking it can make a world of difference.

This is the shift that can work wonders:

Get creative and see what happens

When you orient yourself to what is possible, to what you can create, the potential for great outcomes is amazing. 

When you choose that new outlook, you bring fresh, positive energy to the matter at hand.

Your intention might be to create a new next step forward, or to create a new alternative, or to initiate a new conversation, or to test a new approach.

You can then reflect on each effort and continue to create as you move ahead.

Taking consistent, positive steps forward with this mindset of what is possible for you to create is a game-changer!

Your mindset is an incredible resource

There is a great quote from the renown Chinese general, philosopher and writer, Sun Tzu, that you may want to keep in mind:

“Can you find and exploit the advantage in every adversity?”

When you choose to adopt the mindset of a creator, it becomes possible — and can even be joyful — to find advantages and realize benefits whenever you face challenges. 

Who doesn’t want to have a great day?

The way you start your day matters.

One simple and powerful thing you can do is to set an intention for how you want to feel during the day, and focus on that rather than how you may be feeling when you get up.

How a word can impact your day

Let’s say you wake up feeling tired after a night of restless sleep. You could start to move through your day focused on how tired you feel. You would likely push yourself to get washed and dressed, and push yourself during the work day.

You would likely feel worn out at the end of your day.

If, instead, on a day when you woke up feeling tired after a night of restless sleep, you took a moment and set an intention to feel energized and inspired all day, that upbeat energy could have a big impact. 

Here’s what can happen.

As you hold an intention to feel energized, everything you do all day is likely to flow differently. The fatigue will not dissolve, but your attention will be focused on positive energy.

As you orient yourself this way you are likely to feel inspiration in all you do, and end your day feeling good, if tired and ready to rest. 

You can create the day you want

Start your morning by choosing a word to guide you, that will provide a focus and energy for what you want to feel all day.

Think of it as your Word for the Day, and bring your word to mind throughout the day.

Imagine the impact of starting your day with a word like curious, or enthusiastic, or balanced, or playful, or courageous, or strong, or focused.

Whether or not you sense some of that feeling at the start of your morning, setting a clear intention for how you want to feel — and reminding yourself of your word as the day progresses — enables you to create a day that fulfills that feeling.

Give it a try this week and see what happens!

A Mother’s Day reflection

On the morning of Mother’s Day, I sat at my dining room table with piles of family photos around me. I have been tasked with sorting through mountains of images that were shipped to me from from my mother and father’s house. They are both gone now, and their house was recently sold.

I have been devoting a day here and there to this monumental task for many weeks, and there are still two unopened cartons waiting to be explored.

On Sunday I found treasures that touched me deeply.

Connecting to people we love

How perfect it was to see my mother at age 20, and her mother, their smiles shining in a family scene from a time before she was married. It was a wonderful start to Mother’s Day.

A photo of my mother and father beaming on their honeymoon was a sweet sight.

As I went through the envelopes, I saw my parents and grandparents at many ages and in many settings. I saw my great-grandmother, who I remember meeting as a little girl. I saw my dear mother-in-law and father-in-law, often at holiday tables where both sets of my grandparents were part of the scene.

There were photos of me at many ages — taken as a girl on the beach, as a gawky teenager, with my new husband and all through the years. I gazed at photos with aunts and uncles, my children, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews, family friends.

I smiled wistfully at memories of those who are gone, and marveled at the changes in all of us over time. (Oh, the hairstyles and clothing choices!)

What struck me deeply is the link I have to so many people who came before me and after I arrived.

I marveled at the links to a past that goes back beyond imagination, and that extends into the future as well.

The power of deep connection

What shined though vividly as I looked at all of the photos is the love that has connected all of us, and continues to connect us.

Not that every family relationship has always been harmonious. As in most families, we experienced strains of varying intensity.

Yet the bonds are significant.

And the message that resonates clearly for me is that we are all linked by love.

I also believe that deep love creates light.

My parents and their parents — and the generations before them — all lit the way for the ones who came next, as we light the way to the future.

We can light the world

I believe that when we come together, in our families and our connections to others, those connections have energy.

And that energy emits light — a light that can be sensed, if not seen, by those around us.

Further, I believe that clear light can guide us to a future of love. Of connection. Of peace.

I am inspired to be a catalyst for connections that build love, and, in turn, light.

I believe we can do this in our families, in close relationships, and in professional relationships.

We can be the light together.

Together we can bring more love into a world that needs it.

I hope you will join me.

Crafting your life with purpose

We each choose the life we live. And we get to choose each day.

No matter what is happening we have choices. And we have the opportunity to create.

When my family recently faced the loss of my father, coupled with the sudden illness of one of my sisters, who was in a coma for weeks, it was overwhelming to process all of the emotion and move through everything that needed to be done. Life can sometimes suddenly throw a lot at you.

And even in extreme moments and circumstances, we each get to choose how to respond.

Do you crumble — for a little while or an extended period of time? Do you reach out for help? Do you turn to someone you trust as a sounding board? Do you assess and reassess as you move ahead? Do you pay attention to what you need and try and get it (sleep, food, peace and quiet)? Do you find gratitude even in the midst of pain? 

Many of us miss the opportunity to make conscious choices each day.

Even on an “ordinary day,” no matter how things are going, you get to choose the lens through which to look at circumstances and events.

What are you choosing?

If your day is full of delight, you can choose gratitude, and you can bring that energy into each decision and next choice you make. 

If today is less than stellar, you can also choose gratitude, and you can bring that energy into each decision and next choice you make.

When you choose gratitude, love, generosity, possibility and optimism, everything you do is infused with uplifting energy.

When you choose to create each response, each idea, and each next step to take with that positive uplifting energy, you choose your life.

That’s the key to moving through challenges with more ease, and how you can elevate and accelerate the things that are going well.

When things feel daunting try these 3 steps

Try using this simple process whenever you feel stuck in a low frame of mind:

1. Pause to sit and breathe.

2. Consider the situation.

Take a calm, clear look at what is happening. Can you assess the situation with a broader perspective than when you sat down? 

3. Make a conscious choice.

Choose the response you want to bring to this time.

Feel into your heart and find gratitude. Find love. Think about how you might be generous — to someone else, and to yourself.

Generate as much optimism as possible.

Then consider possibilities for actions, responses, solutions.

Choose to bring as much positive energy into your next step as possible.

As you make choices with intention, you create your best life.

Last week I chose to attend a retreat with my amazing coach and a stellar group of people doing fabulous work in the world. This is the view that greeted me each day. The energy and inspiration of the experience created marvelous fuel for my spirit. 

I’ve created two amazing retreats that are coming up this year. One may be perfect for you to find inspiration to live your biggest life. Email me if you are curious!

Finding strength in the why

What matters enough to stretch and extend yourself, to do something that’s important to you, even when you are really tired?

Maybe there is a family matter, or something related to your work, or a passion you feel for a cause, that is so pressing or important that you dig deep to focus time and energy for it.

I have been stretching myself to attend to pressing family matters for many months. I have been flying to Philadelphia from Boston so often that the people at the Admiral’s Club desk recognize and greet me each time I arrive. One time recently, when I fumbled to find the card that is required for entry, they told me, “Oh, we know you, just go in!” That’s when you know you have been traveling a lot!

These trips have been important. And they have been taxing. 

I have needed to make adjustments in a number of ways to do all of the travel, as well as making calls, doing research, sending and replying to emails, and other tasks related to the my father’s failing health, my sister’s health crisis, and more recently, matters related to my father’s estate.

Finding strength when you need it

I am amazed at the way adrenaline has kicked in when I have need it. This hormone is produced in the adrenal gland to help you deal with stressful or dangerous situations.

And while a rush of adrenaline can be literally life-saving in some circumstances, and has carried me at notable moments, there are other ways we can find strength.

• Focus on the why

When you feel called to take action and can keep the WHY clear in your thoughts, you may be surprised by the amount of strength you will feel. This fundamental approach to how you focus your thoughts can support you in countless situations.

• Envision the outcomes

Knowing that my efforts were making a meaningful difference in the life of a loved one — envisioning my father’s contentment at knowing he was loved and cared for, and “seeing” what restored health would be like in the case of my sister — has frequently given me strength.

Similarly, knowing my efforts were smoothing the way to a positive conclusion for myself and my family in the aftermath of my father’s death, and imagining what that would look and feel like, has given me tremendous strength, even when I was not sure I had any left. 

The same can be true when you are dedicated to a cause about which you are passionate, or launching a new endeavor that is deeply meaningful to you. Envision what it will it look like thanks to your efforts.

• Get help

Rather than figuring everything out on your own, or doing it all yourself, when you seek out help (by asking for it from people you know, or hiring experts, or availing yourself of services that are around you) you will not be expending as much effort on your own and will have more strength for the efforts you undertake.

Remember the importance of self-care

How you take care of yourself during demanding times, and afterwards, is crucially important.

Pay attention to how you feed yourself and stay hydrated. Make sleep a priority. See where you can open space in your schedule, so you can move at a slower pace when possible. Aim to connect to people you enjoy, and do things you love (like getting out in nature, visiting a museum, having a favorite food delivered).

Get the support you need

I have been fortunate to have remarkable, loving support in my life, and that has made a huge difference during this taxing time.

My coaches have been a most valued resource. My husband has been my rock. My children have chipped in. Friends have lent a loving ear.

This has enabled me to look ahead to all I intend for myself and my work in the year that lies ahead.

If you are thinking about what really matters to you now — whether you want to get clear or you know what that looks like — and you think that getting support could be the way to move ahead with more ease, my upcoming Live Big Live retreat might be right for you.

Email me and we can make a date for you to learn about this program, and we’ll see if it’s a fit.

Take time to just be

Winter has finally arrived in New England, after mild and rainy months in November and December.

Enjoying the visual delight of a shimmering white coating on snow-covered trees, I am treating myself to a snow day.

Snuggling in with a cozy blanket, sipping hot tea, Edith Piaf serenading me, this is a treat I am delighted to give myself.

What about you? 

You do not need actual snow to have a snow-day

Few of us take the time to be quiet, to rest, to simply let ourselves BE.

If you tend to live the way I lived much of my life, you are likely so caught up in doing, that you rush through your days and miss the opportunity to get quiet, rest, and connect to your heart. 

You may wait for a vacation to take a break, and even then, you may have a full schedule and be in constant motion.

Making time to slow down and indulge your body and your spirit is a gift you can choose to give yourself — no matter the calendar or weather.

And you need not make it a full day of down time, if that’s not practical.

If there is a lot going on, look for ways to bring a short respite into your day.

And take a look at you schedule. Block off space for being at regular intervals — whether you want that time for reading, journaling, assembling a puzzle, drawing, day-dreaming, cooking something fun, walking in a special place, or connecting for a longed-for conversation with someone you miss.

The gift of stillness and quiet

When you make small, or more extended, periods of quiet time a regular part of your life, remarkable things can happen.

For me, it works in a similar way that savasana does at the end of a yoga class — the period of stillness at the conclusion of a physical practice. In the stillness, my nervous system is remarkably quiet. I feel a distinctive sense of relaxation and feel refreshed.

I also make a deep connection to my heart — what it wants and what it needs. 

And in that “emptiness” I often find insights and ideas show up that are fresh and surprising.

Many times I find myself feeling more alive and inspired to move into the next part of the day.

At the start of this fresh new year, why not see how making a “snow-day” practice of your own will work for you?  Email me and let me know how it goes. I'll be delighted to hear.

Boldly create your 2024

Happy new year!

I am writing on January 2. Having barely stepped into this new year, it’s a great moment to consider the possibilities for the way you want to live for the next 12 months.

Ask yourself these 3 questions

Take a little time to mull over these questions. With a journal in hand, write whatever comes to mind.

You may find some things that surprise you when you let yourself listen to the deep messages in your heart.

And, do not be concerned with the “how” related to anything you think of. This a time to connect to your desires, so write down all of it — do not edit things out! (The “how” can be addressed later.)

1. Who are you ready to BE in 2024?

How do you want to step up and into the most powerful version of yourself, to show up authentically and boldly as you navigate your life? What will that look like for you?

What qualities do you want to amplify this year?

What aspects of the way you have been operating in the world are you ready to change or shift away from, so you can bring your best self to everything you do this year?

2. What matters that you want to DO in 2024? 

This is a great moment to thoughtfully consider how you will spend your precious time this year.

What things do you want to do to live a life that satisfies you, that minimizes stress and maximizes joy?

What do you want to create in your life that will inform your “doing”?

Do you want to create a new direction for your career, or create new relationships?

Do you want to create expressively (as a writer, musician, builder or chef)?

What do those desires ask you to do — what actions you will take?

3. What do you want to HAVE in 2024?

Do you want to have more space and time to do particular things you crave?

Do you want to have courage, or confidence, or peace of mind?

Do you want specific opportunities?

Do you want to have tangible things like a new car, or furniture, or the resources to have a travel adventure? 

Do you want to have the satisfaction of making an impact in a particular way?

A word for the year can guide you in 2024

With the insights and clarity you have, choosing a word to inspire and guide you to live your biggest, best life can keep you energized and clear as the months roll along.

I have shared my process for choosing a word of the year in my blog over the years. You can check out what I shared last year. 

As you will see, I first choose a word and then add several ways I intend for that word to guide me. I find that specificity to be very powerful and supportive during the year. 

I always type-set the word, as you can see below. I hang a printout on my pinboard, where I look at it every day.

I invite you to try it and see what the impact is for you.

Wishing you a year filled with joy, love and peace 

I dream of a world where we all live the biggest, best versions of ourselves.

When we create personal wellbeing and boldly show up with all of our talents and gifts, we are not only powerful creators in every dimension of our lives, we inspire everyone around us. 

Let’s do this together, and fill the world with more big ideas and bold action.

Joy, love and peace will ripple far and wide.

Navigating the year-end transition

As we head into the last two weeks of the year, you may feel drawn to look back, or eager to look ahead, and maybe both.

Whether this has been a year to cherish or a year you are eager to leave behind, you surely have meaningful opportunities for insight.

You choose the lens

Let’s first consider reflecting back on 2023 — which I suggested in my last post.

Looking back can reveal a lot for us, and can help us look ahead with clarity and intention for the year we want to live after the calendar turns on New Years Day.

All of us can spot times when things went well. It is important to recall things we took pride in and things to celebrate.

And, all of us can spot times of challenge, disappointment, pain or frustration.

It's in reflecting on the challenges that we get a choice about the lens through which we want to process them.

If you choose a lens of regret you may beat yourself up for not doing better or for having made poor decisions — leaving you with a sinking sensation, or worse.

If, instead, you choose to look at unfortunate events of the past year through the lens of observing lessons learned, or recognizing ways you moved ahead, you may well be able to feel gratitude for positive aspects of those events. 

Perhaps you will see that you were resilient.

Perhaps you can appreciate your strength.

Can you spot creativity in ways you thought about paths forward, or ways you approached a situation?

A focus on gratitude sets you up for success 

When you choose to look through the lens of gratitude, for both the great things and the ways you dealt with difficulties, you fill yourself with positivity.

The energy you feel when you can appreciate the full spectrum of your experiences is powerful. And that energy will support you to think and feel differently as you look ahead to 2024.

Try this next

Pull up your calendar and set aside a little time for yourself to look back, and look ahead. You may want to do this with a buddy, you may want to schedule two sessions — one for looking back and one for looking ahead. You may want to do this in a place you especially enjoy, like a cozy cafe or a comfy chair.

Any way that works for you is great.

It is helpful to scan your 2023 calendar and note the things that jump out to you. There are likely to be highlights you did not acknowledge, or special things that you lost track of. Jot them all down.

And jot down the rough stuff, too. There may be big ones you are thinking of now, and you may well see some reminders of smaller challenges that offer insights when you think about how you responded, overcame obstacles, or found solutions.

With all of the discovery noted, its time to do some writing about the outcomes in 2023 you can appreciate and savor.

And then it is time to look ahead to the fresh new year on the horizon.

What dreams do you want to pursue? How do you want to show up

Consider questions like these:

• What qualities in yourself will you leverage in new ways?

• Do you yearn to lead more boldly? 

• Do you want to be more compassionate (to yourself and/or others)?

• Are you ready to stop doing something the way you have in the past?

• Does it feel like time to try something big or new?

Write about all of the thoughts and ideas that come to mind, without evaluating or judging them, or thinking about how to do any of those things. (There will be time for those questions soon enough.)

Give yourself the gift of time to dream 

In this season of gift-giving, spending time to dream is a precious gift you can give yourself.

Let yourself dream big about the life you want to create in 2024!

It does take any more energy to dream a big dream than a small one. Honor yourself and the desires in your heart, and declare your dreams!

I am dreaming about a year filled with more love, abundant peace, and women (and men!) everywhere living their dreams.

We can collectively bringing more greatness into the world as we all create in meaningful ways. This world needs all of us to show up and live our biggest,best lives.

Take time to reflect

In the midst of this busy season, most of us have a packed schedule.

And lots of people wait until the new year rolls around to look ahead, make a resolution or two, and hope for good things to happen.

I get it. Carving out time for reflection can seem hard, or may feel selfish — particularly when the calendar is filled.

I invite you to consider the gifts that can emerge when you devote even a small bit of quiet time to reflect.

Take a few minutes for yourself 

Set aside a few minutes today — maybe over lunch, or before bed would be a good time to set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes for yourself.

Pull out a journal, paper or a laptop, and have your calendar handy. Then choose one or more of these questions to explore.

1. Look back at your year and see what you can celebrate about yourself.

Here are some questions you might ask:

• Were there times when you were brave, or dared to be bold? 

• When did you have an impact that was meaningful?

• Did you accomplish something you would not have expected? 

• When did your generosity have meaning for someone?

2. Look for lessons learned.

We learn valuable lessons in many ways. One way you may not have considered is to think about challenges you took on, or challenges that showed up this past year, that contributed to your path of success. 

See what you can spot. Can you feel gratitude for outcomes that those challenges led to in your life?

3. Look for things you want to emphasize next year, or let go of.

Perhaps there was an experience that opened your heart in a new way, or a person you got to know well and enjoyed, or a place you spent time that was especially meaningful. 

Note things you want more of next year.

Think, too, about things you want less of, or things you are ready to release.

Perhaps there are things you said “Yes” to that you didn’t like doing, or that have run their course. Maybe there are habits of thinking you are ready to shift away from. Maybe you want a change in a relationship.

By reflecting and taking note, you can set intentions for next year.

You can consider ways to make the positive things a meaningful part of your life in 2024.

And you can intentionally clear space for more positivity when you set clear intentions to release what does not make you happy.

Do it again!

Why not set aside a few minutes every other day for the rest of this month for some quiet reflection? Start with the suggestions above, and add to ways of mining the past year as new perspectives come to mind.

As you look back and consider your year in 2023, you will be likely to notice many things that will help you move into 2024 with more clarity, awareness and intention.

And if you want to share, I would be delighted to hear about the insights you discover. Email me.

Why love matters now

Love is always important. It is always needed. And it feels to me that a focus on love is especially important now.

Love starts with us

How do you feel and hold love in your heart?

Think about love for yourself as well as love for others — those you know, and those you do not know.

Self-love is something many people overlook, or feel awkward about. Yet when you focus on loving yourself — thinking lovingly about yourself, feeling deserving, acting lovingly toward yourself when you take exquisite care of your body and your spirit — your heart opens.

And when your heart opens, more love is available for you to express to others.

How do you speak about love, in your own thoughts and in conversations?

There are many ways to think lovingly and to express yourself lovingly. 

Pay attention to times you may berate yourself. When you spot such a thought or comment, do your best to reframe it — turn it around and restate it with love.

And look for opportunities to speak lovingly to others, and about others. Loving thoughts and comments are generous. They are free of judgement. 

It may take some practice, but when you bring awareness to your thoughts and ways of speaking, you will spot opportunities to bring more love into many moments.

How can you bring more love into your heart, your spirit and the world around you?

There are countless opportunities to amplify love. See how many ways you can create love today.

Loving gestures, comments, and actions can be small and subtle, or bigger and more dramatic. Any and all ways you make an effort to create more love will be a gift to yourself and to all of humanity.

When we love more, love expands everywhere

I hope you will join me and make love a significant focus, today and every day.

You will benefit and those around you will, too.

As those around you tune in to the vibrations of love, they will feel it and spread love. The recipients, in turn, will touch others.

The ripple effects will spread way beyond what you may ever see. And that is great.

When we all live with more love, we will all contribute to a world that needs that  loving energy.