Pair gratitude and vision to live big!

Now that Thanksgiving is in the rear view mirror, many of us have focused on gratitude and moved on.

After all, today’s the first day of December, and I hear that people are already decorating for Christmas.

For many it’s exciting to be on to the next holiday, and the next effort to bring some light to a time when it's dark, getting colder, and there’s a clear realization that our need to stay separate from friends and family is going to continue for quite a while.

Let’s not leave a focus on gratitude behind now!

Gratitude has deep meaning for me — I devoted a chapter to the topic in my book Live Big. It’s certainly not a one-time-a-year subject.

As I work with my clients, the opportunity to practice gratitude inevitably comes into the work. And while the concept is met with varying degrees of enthusiasm, when my clients make it a focus it always proves to be valuable.

And last week I was honored to be part of a Gratitude Gathering that my coach and colleague, Peleg Top, created. Take a listen to the wonderful program here. (My segment is the first after Peleg’s opening remarks.)

I also highly recommend this episode of Hidden Brain, hosted by Shankar Vedantam and featuring David DeSteno, Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University. You will gain fascinating insight into the ways that gratitude improves health and well-being, and how a practice of gratitude can actually help you achieve your goals.

How can gratitude fuel a richer life for you?

As discussed in the three Gratitude Gathering segments, and in the Hidden Brain podcast episode, you can bring gratitude into your life in a range of interesting ways.

Choose the way or ways that feel most appealing to you and see what happens in your life.

Your foundation of gratitude can inform a fresh vision, too.

As you bring more gratitude into your life, you are able to set a brighter, bigger vision for yourself.

I have two invitations for you.

1. Join me on December 13, when I’ll again partner with Peleg Top, as a guest teacher for a virtual Vision Board Party. Making a vision board now is a great way to step into 2021 with clarity. I would love for you to be there.

2. To give yourself a bigger gift to create your best future— to set a big new vision with extraordinary clarity and deep guidance and support — Live Big Live! may be a perfect fit for you. This powerful new program, that I created last summer, was life-changing for the first group of women who experienced it. (You can see and hear these women describe their experiences and outcomes yourself.)

The next Live Big Live! will launch soon, and will support another great group of like-minded women to close out 2020 on a high note and move into 2021 as remarkable creators of the visions they are guided to define for their futures.

The first step to explore this opportunity is to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. (Book a call soon, as the next Live Big Live! is right around the corner and there are only a few spots still available.) Whether or not we both think Live Big Live! is right for you now, I will be glad for us to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

A time for self-awareness and self-care

I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with love, gratitude and good company.

We are now at the start of a new week, and a new month. It’s December — the last month of 2019, and the last month of this decade!

You may feel inspired and fired up as you think about the ways you want to end the year and move into the new decade. If so, go for it!

And… I am hearing from many of my clients and acquaintances that they are feeling pressured, and many are finding motivation hard to come by.

If you relate to feeling a lack of motivation to go big right now, it’s easy to start beating yourself up.

But I invite you to consider that there’s another way to look at things.

Give up the struggle

The idea that you are a slacker if you are not always in high gear, feeling fired up, and planning and doing on a grand scale, is fueled by external messages.

We are bombarded with advice on how to “crush it” — crush our goals, crush it at work, crush our workouts at the gym. The language itself is enough to stress you out.

And, you may be wired to push yourself hard. I’m all for high standards and commitment, but many of us hear a persistent inner voice that propels us to go way overboard, and belittles us when we don’t.

Especially as we head into a busy holiday season and the end-of-year demands at work, this is the perfect time to be gentle with yourself.

Pushing too hard is counterproductive

When you try and muscle through, you not only exhaust yourself and feel awful (physically and/or emotionally), you are likely to get less done.

When you slow down and focus on something important (rather than lot of things and at a frantic pace), you will get more done. I had a hard time believing it would work, until I tried it.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed, I choose something that is deserving of my attention. I put everything else aside for a while. I gently bring my focused attention to that effort. The results of taking this approach are always terrific, and so satisfying.

Listen to your body and your emotions

If you feel the need to slow down, by all means build in time for more rest, more thoughtfulness, more time with cherished people, more ease.

The messages you receive from your inner voice and your intuition are always reliable. Our bodies may demand that we slow down, too. If we are not tuned in and responsive, a GI upset or nasty cold may show up and force us to slow down.

Self-care is rarely high on our to-do lists, but it’s so important! No matter how much there is to be done, be sure you honor yourself and build self-care into your days.

This is a time to create with intention

When a lack of motivation or the need to take things a bit slower shows up (and your self-care plan for a soak in the tub, savoring a soothing cup of tea, taking a nap, or going for a walk is in place), try adopting a new approach.

Think about what you desire. What is important right now? What matters? You may want to do some journaling to explore ideas. (And if you’ve learned it, put my Discovery Dozen™ exercise to work.)
Then gently bring your focus to that matter. If you feel clear about the steps to take, start in slowly and with focus. Acknowledge yourself for taking a small, doable step. Then take the next one — and acknowledge yourself again.

If you are unsure about what you want to focus on, get curious. What are the options to consider for moving ahead? With an idea or two, ask: What interesting approaches can I devise to test out this idea? This is a moment to bring creativity forward and explore possibilities.

Commit to making a small effort and seeing how it works out. Celebrate the wins, and adjust course when better ideas and new insights emerge.

And continue on the path — gently.

You don't need to struggle. Momentum will build naturally.

I’d love to hear about how you are feeling now, and what you want to approach with ease. Leave a comment below.

And if you are looking for clarity, focus, momentum and accountability in your life, let’s talk. I will be enrolling a new group coaching program early next year, and it may be the perfect opportunity for you as we move into 2020. I’ll be happy to tell you about it.

How will you express thanks this year?

This is the week that families and friends gather for the annual big day of thanks (in the US).
My invitation to you is to consider what you can do this year to infuse the lovely Thanksgiving holiday with extra meaning — and some creativity.

• You might write a short sentence or two of appreciation for each person at your Thanksgiving meal, for them to find in a note on their plates as they sit down at the table.

• You might create a space to meditate — alone or with others — to find true quiet, be fully present, and deeply feel into gratitude.

• You might create a new dish to serve that brings in the culture of a friend or guest who hails from a faraway place.

• You might introduce a visual or sensory surprise. Maybe an unexpected color scheme for the table, or unique ways to present and serve the food, or distinctive flowers, a humorous theme, hats for everyone to don, fun or inspiring music... there are endless possibilities.

• You might plan a pre- or post-meal walk in a beautiful spot, rather than spending the entire day inside.

• You might include a volunteer activity in your plan for the day.

• Each person might share a special Thanksgiving memory.

• You might ask each person at your table to express both gratitude and a message of love.

Ideas like these can be the start of new rituals that will enrich your annual holiday for years to come.

I’d love for you to share your favorite ideas — old or new — for bringing more gratitude, love and creativity to this special day. Leave a comment below.

And, I invite you, if you don’t already do so, to create a practice of gratitude for every day of the year. If you are curious to know more about the power of gratitude, check this out.

I am deeply grateful for all of my readers, for the people who have attended my workshops and participated in programs I’ve led, for those who have entrusted me to be their coach, and for my collaborators, co-creators, teachers and guides.

I’m sending thanks to all of you, and wishes for a Thanksgiving holiday filled with bountiful love.

What are you most thankful for?

With the US Thanksgiving holiday just days away, I am thinking about all the goodness for which I am deeply grateful, and I expect that you are, too. 

One thing I am endlessly grateful for is the resource of creativity that is available to me and the opportunity to bring it into my life in every situation. So I’m thinking about new ways I can express my gratitude — as well as how I can inspitre the people around me to do that in fresh ways.

If the idea of bringing some creativity to this special time of year appeals to you, I’m happy to share some ideas you may want to try.

They may serve as a jumping off point for you to create your own new ways to inspire and share thanks.

1.  Set aside time to write a short note of appreciation for everyone at your Thanksgiving table. You can hand a note to each person in turn, or use the addressed envelopes as place cards on the table. And, if you’re filled with appreciation for people who live at a distance, mail them notes, too.

2.  Plan something special to say as you sit down to the Thanksgiving meal. It could be a new spin on saying grace, or a statement of love, or a vision of the abundance you foresee in the year ahead, for which to give thanks in advance. 

3.  I love the idea of creating a new tradition for everyone at your gathering. You can plan to bring a dash of surprising humor to the day, and plan to repeat that each year. Perhaps you’ll hand off the honor to someone for next year, to build a new tradition. You might add one new ethnic dish to the table each year. You might have everyone share a statement of gratitude starting with the oldest person and moving to the youngest. The possibilities are endless.

4.  Why not go around the table and ask everyone to recall and share a Thanksgiving memory? Or, you might invite everyone to bring a special dish from a Thanksgiving menu of the past that they recall with fondness. 

5.  You may want to bring a new look to your Thanksgiving. You might choose a color theme for your table settings. and even the choices of foods you serve. Before dinner, you might ask everyone to create a small drawing related to the holiday to adorn each place at the table. 

If you create other ideas, or if you try any of these ideas and want to share them, I would love to hear about the ways you bring creativity — and new ways to share love — to Thanksgiving this year. Add a comment below or email me directly.

I wish you and yours a Thanksgiving holiday filled with gratitude, love, joy and creativity.

With love,
Rochelle

A big holiday calls for a big heart

It’s Thanksgiving week, and posts about the holiday — and gratitude — abound. And, why not? Slowing down to focus on all there is to be grateful for is always important, and this holiday provides a great reminder about the value of gratitude for all of us.

Thanksgiving affords many of us a special and distinctive time to be with family and friends. It enables many of us to be creative and cook new dishes or set a table with a fresh twist, to increase delight. Some of us will spend the day with people we see only once or twice a year.

And, for some of us, Thanksgiving, and tuning in to gratitude, can bring up challenges.

This Thanksgiving, I wish those of you who are missing someone special at your table an abundance of love to fill your heart alongside the sadness. I hope that you can think about and feel grateful for the beauty and goodness in your world, past and present.

I wish those who are struggling with health issues healing and relief from suffering. I know that living with pain can be terribly difficult. I also know that adopting a practice of noting gratitude on a daily basis can ease the journey. I hope that will help you.

I wish those with contentious relationships a willingness to seek common ground. Can you aim for heartfelt communication instead of experiencing stress or conflict? If you are able to exchange thoughts related to love, goodness, and shared interests, you can create shared gratitude. That gratitude can alleviate some of the interpersonal stress.

I wish those who are feeling despair about a host of troubling matters in the media a day to consider the opportunities to have a positive impact on the world. Consider what you can do to make the world a better place as a way of expressing gratitude for all that is good in your life. If each of us works to improve the world in our own way, the combined impact will be huge. 

Start by focusing on the important work you do, and do it with a full heart. Value and appreciate that when all of us do our best work, it has a great impact no matter what else is happening near and far.  

You can also commit to helping people in need, either locally or in places across oceans — or both. You can make financial donations and you can make a commitment to volunteer. 

Your efforts can be focused on political causes that matter to you. You might volunteer or donate for the benefit of people in nearby communities, like helping a food bank or a program for needy children or people in need of access to good healthcare. 

You might volunteer to use your special talents or professional skills on a one-time basis or with a continued effort. There are literally countless ways that each of us can have a positive impact and make the world a better place.

Are you able to focus on gratitude — even if it feels complicated to do so — and use the energy and emotion in your heart to create and spread goodness? Can you even be a catalyst for others to commit to efforts that matter to them, and inspire them to do their good work alongside you?

This is the conversation I intend to bring to the Thanksgiving table this year. I want it to be an important part of the time I spend with my family, as we express gratitude and celebrate the holiday together.

I invite you to join me. 

I want to end by thanking you for being here as I explore and share my big ideas. I am truly grateful for your companionship and for the thoughts and ideas you share with me in return. I am enriched by our connection. 

I’m sending you love and heartfelt gratitude.

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If you’re looking for another way to change your year, you can consider having a coach to support you to get clear about the life and work questions on your mind — to live the big life you long for — so that you can set clear objectives and get help to step into your future with intention and commitment. If that’s something you want to explore, I welcome you to set up an Introductory Coaching Call with me. There’s no cost or obligation for us to meet. Simply complete the Coaching Inquiry Form and I’ll be in touch to make a date with you.

Truly thankful, every day

Thanksgiving is a few short days away, and my inbox is already full of messages related to the holiday. I love that this moment on the calendar prompts so many people to say how much they appreciate their clients and friends, and to share good wishes.

Thanksgiving is a lovely time to focus on gratitude, as well as the power of gratitude in our lives. I have learned that when I am mindful of gratitude every day of the year my life is enriched.

Beyond my awareness of how fortunate I am to have a wonderful family, that all of my physical needs met, that I am in good health, have so many dear friends and do work that I love, I have come to appreciate much that I used to miss.

Most of us move at warp speed through our days, rarely slowing down to notice the small wonders around us. We miss so many things that we can savor in our routine lives. When I keep a list of 12 things for which I am grateful on a daily basis, I recall many sweet and special moments that would otherwise go unnoticed. My gratitude list often includes things like someone holding open a door when I am carrying packages, or smiling with warmth while standing in a line, or making a helpful suggestion that enhanced my day. It includes the delight I felt watching a flock of birds soar against the sky, or the taste of an especially delicious cup of tea, or the sound of a little child giggling. When I am aware of and reflect on all of the small things that brighten my day I can hold the memories of those moments. And, the positive emotions help me cope with any challenges I may be facing. No matter what, I treasure the beauty and abundance in my life.

Whatever you have planned for Thanksgiving Day I hope you will have many happy moments to savor. I hope, too, that you will consider developing a gratitude practice of your own, to keep the holiday spirit alive every day. It requires slowing down just a little, but I predict that you’ll get a lot back in return.

Reflections and Gratitude

With Thanksgiving coming up on Thursday, everyone I speak to seams to be hurrying to fit a week’s worth of work into three days. People are cooking and have lots more cooking to do. Many are facing car and air travel that will surely be stressful. Hanukkah shopping and preparation is another challenge for many of us, as that holiday starts so very early this year, overlapping with Thanksgiving. In all of the rushing it’s easy to lose sight of the meaning and importance of the Thanksgiving holiday.

Can we all just push the pause button and refect for a few minutes? Can we give ourselves a short and meaningful break from the hustle and bustle? Try this — I promise it will take one minute and give you lots in return.

Close your eyes, relax your shoulders and lower jaw and slowly draw in a deep, full breath. Then, slowly exhale. Make it a long and complete exhale. Repeat. Open your eyes and smile.

That’s it. A moment for yourself. A gift. A snippet of time to refresh your body and your mind.

And, if you can spare another three to five minutes, make a list of at least 12 things for which you are grateful. Beyond the things that come quickly to mind, see what you find in your heart. Maybe you’ll want to make a new list every day this week and see what comes up for you. You can use these simple practices often to bring light into your life. That's what happens when you take a little time to care for yourself and focus on the truly important things that bring you joy.

As I reflect on the past year and all that fills me with deep gratitude, I wish you a joyous holiday, safe travels, love and abundant creativity.