Embracing the unexpected: letting go of expectations
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Last week my body forced me to slow down. I returned from an exciting week away, speaking at a great event, with COVID. I had no choice but to rest. (Happily, I am fully recovered now.)
I had expected to catch up from a a big to-do list after being out of my office, but the universe had other plans for me.
I let go of expectations, and everything was fine!
If you are like me, you’ve lived a life full of expectations, and have held them tightly.
A great life lesson, that I need to be reminded of (like when I was sick last week), is that I can let go of expectations and it will not only be fine — it is often better than fine!
Expectations can be a trap
Most of us set expectations about all sorts of things, typically without awareness that we are doing so. And most of them tend to limit us.
We expect things of ourselves and of others. And we often hold tight to those expectations. When we do, we suffer disappointments more often than not.
Typical examples that get in our way are:
Expecting ourselves to get more done in a day than is reasonable.
Expecting ourselves to be perfect.
Expecting things outside our control to be perfect.
Expecting others to read our minds.
Expecting people to see things from the same perspective we do.
Living with these sorts of expectations running in the background keeps us from thinking and acting with agency — with awareness that we can always operate with creative power.
Here’s what it can look like instead:
Rather than driving yourself hard and feeling exhausted, you can approach your day with a focus on what is most important, and delegate or defer other tasks.
Rather than expecting perfection from yourself, you can determine to approach everything with care and focus, and fully acknowledge and appreciate your best efforts.
Rather than feeling disappointed by things outside your control, you can remember what you can and cannot control! (See the graphic below and refer to it often! You can download it here.)
Rather than holding expectations that others know what you want and need and expect of them, you can communicate clearly.
Rather than expecting others to see things as you do, you can choose to be open to other perspectives. You may find that others’ lenses offer you insight that you get to appreciate — or not.
What happens when you let go of expectations
I have learned that when I release expectations, I allow myself to be fully present to opportunities and possibilities. I trust that things are always working out for me, as I create my best day each day.
When I approach every day as one that I get to create — in my thinking and my actions — I often find possibilities that would not have been shown up I had held a tight grip.
How can you loosen your grip and release expectations, even a little today?
What will you create today?
