What emerges when you honor time and space

I just returned from a weekend in my home town of Philadelphia. My family and I held a ceremony at my father’s grave to dedicate the stone marker that was just laid, one year after we lost him.

This event, that marks a year in our lives, has sparked deep reflection.

What I learned this year that may help you

Processing emotions — of any kind — requires time and space

After my father died, the administrative tasks that needed attention (especially in the weeks and months right after we lost him) crowded out space to feel all of the emotions that needed to be felt.

And as much as I have done to create space to move emotion through this year, including writing and painting to go deep into my heart, I am often still surprised at what shows up out of the blue.

When a lovely memory or a stab of sadness appears suddenly, I now get quiet to be with the feelings. Sometimes a conversation with someone close helps. Sometimes creating helps. Sometimes a walk outside is just the thing.

No matter how busy a day is, I make time and space when I need it.

I have learned to honor myself with time to grieve what needs to be grieved, savor memories, feel sadness and joy, and cherish love — whether it has to do with the loss of my dad or anything else that has come up in the moment.

Pushing myself is a recipe for stress

A big lesson I have fully taken to heart this year is that I suffer when I push myself. Push energy is crushing to my soul.

I now start each morning setting clear intentions for how I want to feel, no matter what is going on in the world or what is on my to-do list.

As someone who has spent most of my life cramming as much as possible into each day, I have upped my practice of slowing down and doing everything with thought and care.

(Note that I use the word “practice”! This intention entails daily awareness and commitment.)

Nature heals

As I’ve been pushing less, I have made a significant discovery. Every day that I walk in a beautiful place I feel notably better. 

This insight was most remarkable while I was in France, leading the L’Aventure Française retreat last month.

While in Paris, walking for several miles each day as we explored the city, I loved how it felt to be in motion and how much wonder there was to enjoy when moving on foot.

And in the countryside, amidst incredible natural beauty, my heart opened wider each time I was outside, breathing clean air and seeing the wonders of nature in new light at each turn.

I have found a spot to walk near my home that is off the main streets and has many majestic trees. I have taken a 5 minute ride to a park that has beautiful paths. I have made dates with friends to walk in new places. Each time, I feel amazing.

My intention is to walk outside for at least 20 minutes each day. As I do not have a dog to take for walks, I have not yet taken a walk every day. I am gradually making more space in my schedule for that to happen.

Creating space allows wonder to emerge

The thing I have most appreciated this year is that when I created time and space to feel and process more, big awareness unfolded in ways I never expected.

Being someone who has typically made plans and then worked diligently to implement the plans, I discovered that slowing down and being open enabled me to discover new desires, and then refine and adjust my plans in incredibly rewarding ways.

By not pushing myself, I connected to my heart. Creative thinking had space to emerge freely and I am more excited than ever for what I am developing now, to introduce to the world in the new year.

What is waiting to emerge for you?

If you are ready to connect to your heart and creative power, to open to remarkable magic and wonder that are possible for you, I invite you to explore my upcoming Creation Vacation retreat.

This time away (January 20 to 25, 2025) will be in an exquisite property in southern Maine. You will be surrounded by the majesty of vast sea and sky, eat wonderful food, create and play, have coaching support, experience energy work for a deep somatic connection to everything that emerges for you, and much more.

This is an intimate retreat and there are only 2 spots left. Reach out soon to explore this life-changing opportunity.

How time away can ignite your creative power

Three times a year I travel to go on a retreat with my coach. I share the experience with a small community of wonderful people who, like I am, are on a path to creating and offering bold resources that will make this a better world.

I am writing from a beautiful rural part of Texas, surrounded by natural beauty.

I am inspired.

I am surrounded by love.

And I am making significant discoveries about myself.

This way that I invest in myself — taking time to be here and making a financial commitment to be in this work — has been significant for me. So much of what I have created to ignite creative power in women everywhere has been informed by what I have explored in my work with my coach.

I am deeply grateful to be on this journey of personal expansion that enriches me. In turn, it enables me to bring more depth to my work as a coach and speaker.

I invite you to find a place of beauty and peacefulness, where the majesty of nature can support you to connect to your heart.

I also invite you to consider the dreams you hold in your heart, and the support that can help you to move them into action.

Here's how to get unstuck

My work as a coach is focused on helping women to take action in their lives — action that will help them make the changes they desire in the short-term, and actions that in time will help them create the fulfilling lives they yearn for.

And for many women it can be a challenge to take action.

Before you commit to taking action, and especially a bold action that will move you beyond your comfort zone, you need to be clear about a few things.

Do you know what you want?

When I speak to women and ask what they want, many struggle to answer the question.

Some women are disconnected from their hearts and desires. When that seems to be the case, I patiently ask, “What do you want?” over and over, until something jogs her heart open and the woman connects to things she really desires.

Sometimes there is a feeling of unworthiness that keeps a woman from knowing what she desires, or daring to say it aloud. When this becomes apparent, we dive into what has made her feel that she is not deserving of what she wants.

And some women are absolutely clear about what they want. They want more love, or to reach the next level in their career, or more space in their lives, or to regain lost confidence, or to figure out what’s next, or new adventures.

How clear are you about what you want?

Are you willing to commit?

Knowing what you want is a necessary starting point to bring change into your life.

Yet sadly, many people say they want to do something or change something, and are stuck.

Actually taking action to make any kind of change takes courage and commitment.

Depending on the change you are clear about wanting to make, the level of courage that will be called for can be can be quite small, or it can be — or feel — significant. 

Finding the courage that is required and then being willing to commit to taking action is the only way to bring change into your life. 

The willingness to commit circles right back to how meaningful your desired change is — in your heart and mind.

When the desire is clear, it is easier to embrace the mystery of what it will take to make change and engage in the process of moving in that direction.

With a big desire, and an important “why” behind it, being willing to make a commitment will catapult you into finding a way to move forward.

Are you ready to take inspired action?

If you feel ready to initiate a change, know that you can start by taking small (even tiny) steps. Committing to moving forward consistently is how the magic unfolds.

And if you are ready to take bigger, bolder steps, that’s great too.

I invite you to take inspired action today!

Ask the question. Speak up. Do that thing that feels a bit uncomfortable but lets you shine. Set the boundary. Go for it.

And if you want support to make it easier and faster to bring desired change into your life, let’s connect. (Email me and we’ll make a date to talk.)

I’m rooting for you!

Finding purpose amidst change: your journey starts now

Now that the transition from summer to fall is here, things have likely shifted for you. 

Schedules and routines change in many families. Traffic is heavier, requiring extra time to get around. The pace of life and work often picks up as more meetings and events fill the calendar.

And, sometimes shifts come to light slowly.

I felt something subtle shifting for me last year, and have been going through a period of change for many months. What was vague in my awareness at the start has become clear, and exciting shifts have been occurring for me over the last months.

I began to see a path to having bigger impact with my work, and more personal satisfaction. I have been speaking more and love it. I was moved to create 2 new retreats, Creation Vacation to start the year, and L’Aventure Française in the fall. Both provide longer, deeper experiences. And the 3-day Live Big Live! retreat I have loved leading for 4 years is now only offered each spring. 

I am also doing more work inside of organizations, where cohorts of women are engaged in learning together and having a bigger collective impact.

Making these changes entailed gaining clarity, then committing to taking action and allowing things to unfold over time.

Do you feel that things may be changing for you?

Whether there’s a change in play now that feels exciting, motivating, or nerve-racking, or something simply feels like it may be beginning to shift, each of us is always changing.

Let’s look at what may be going on for you.

How are you changing now? 

Pause and take stock of the ways you are changing. 

Whether you feel most comfortable staying static or relish things that are new and novel, change is inevitable!

Take a thoughtful look at what is happening in you as well as around you.

Are you aware of changes in your ways of operating, or how you are feeling or thinking? 

Perhaps you are excited and eager about something you’e involved with.

Perhaps there’s something you want to stop doing, or begin to do, and are considering how you will move forward.

Perhaps you yearn to do something inspiring, new or exciting that feels missing now.

Perhaps change is being imposed on you, and you realize it presents an opportunity. Or, maybe an imposed change has brought on fear.

Maybe you feel stuck, for a reason you are of aware of, or not.

Perhaps you have a hunch something is brewing and are patiently allowing clarity to emerge. 

And, it is likely that there are several changes in the mix for you. 

The good news is that when you bring awareness and add intention to how you want to respond to the changes that you identify, great outcomes are possible.

Move forward with intention

You can realize great outcomes when you choose your response to a change that is underway, rather than drift along (which sadly, is what most people do).

Perhaps you have tended to drift through life. I certainly did for a very long time.

I had ideas and took initiative. I started and ran a great business, and was a leader in many settings. But looking back I can see all of the ways I was not fully intentional — that I was drifting.

It was not until I started to take a clear look at my life (with the help of a wonderful coach whose questions prompted big awareness), that I realized I was no longer lit up by my work. I came to know I was ready to make a significant change. And making that change — selling my business — set me on the best path ever.

With awareness, you, too, can choose a clear direction and begin to move in that direction.

The change you choose to make your focus and pursue may be small and meaningful, or you may feel ready to make a bold change.

Whatever you make your focus and bring commitment to doing can have a life-changing impact.

I invite you to bring awareness to the changes you are facing and feeling now.

Then consider your best way forward and set your intention to take action, knowing you can course-correct over and over.

You will be on a meaningful path on your journey to true fulfillment.

Email me — I welcome you to share what is up for you now and the steps you are choosing to start with.

Ready to ignite your soul?

I am passionate about travel, and the impact that visiting new places has always had for me. In addition to visiting major sites, I love looking for special out of the way spots, hidden gems. 

And when I had the opportunity to live in Paris for a month last year, where I made many incredible discoveries, I started dreaming of bringing a group of women to France for a retreat.

I wanted them to be able to step away from their busy lives, experience the magic of Paris, and then spend time in the glorious countryside — where they could reflect, create, and integrate the inspiration of culture, spirit, art, history and food from the time in Paris.

I also dreamed of each of them returning home with incredible energy, fresh perspectives, and elevated excitement about their lives and work.

Do you yearn for a travel adventure that will ignite your heart and light up your life?

Imagine a spectacular trip to France with a small group of amazing women. After 5 days exploring Paris, you will travel to Southwest France to spend 6 more days in a superb retreat center in the countryside. You will be nurtured, play, create with ease, and connect to your creative core as never before.

This retreat — L’Aventure Française — is a remarkable opportunity to step out of your routine and embark on a life-changing experience!

You will have private coaching time with me before and during the retreat, and bond with amazing women. You will not only revel in the joy of exploring, you will cultivate powerful creative energy.

• Your elevated energy will impact you personally and professionally.

• You’ll have the satisfaction of bringing new agency to all you do.

• You’ll feel more fulfilled each day, and experience more joy.

• You’ll bring full self-expression and inspiration to everything you think and do.

• Your natural state of being will be elevated.

If you are excited to think about the possibilities, this opportunity may be perfectly timed for you. We start in Paris November 6 and return November 18.

And November is right around the corner! Now’s the time for us to talk, as only 2 spots are still open.

Email me and I will send you all the details,

And if you feel excited about the possibility of this adventure, we’ll make a date to talk. I will answer your questions, fill you in fully, and we’ll see if the fit is right.

Creating connections: energize your path with passionate people

With the Olympics just concluded, and having returned a few days ago from the National Speakers Association’s annual conference, Influence, I am reminded of something important that I always want to keep top of mind: the people we choose to surround ourselves with matter! They can lift us up, inspire us, and make us better.

It was exciting to see the way that great athletes raised one another up — those on their own teams, and often competitors from other countries. 

I experienced the same energy of generosity and enthusiasm at the Influence conference. Speakers of great renown were happy to share their insights and ideas in informal conversations, with people who were just starting or building their speaking careers. And being in the company of speakers who are passionate about the topics they share, and excited about the impact they have, felt electric.

When you are conscious about creating connections with people who are fired up and generous, who are committed to showing up boldly and doing big things, that energy supports you to feel passionate and motivated.

And when you are generous and inspired around others, the positive energy builds! 

I feel more excited than ever to support great women to boldly create the lives they desire. I want to do it on stages and in coaching engagements. I love leading retreats, where women go deep together in great places. I am fired up when I bring my work into organizations, to guide women to show up boldly and have their biggest impact.

By developing my offerings and doing my work alongside other bold creators, I always learn, and the energy I bring to everything I do always expands. 

Reach out and see what happens

Who can you contact today who is full of bold ideas and energy, who creates new opportunities, who will generously share with you, and who will see you in your highest light? 

You may be thinking of someone like that now. Invite them to connect, one-on-one or in a small group. 

You may be thinking of an existing community of people (maybe like those at the Influence conference that I attended) that you want to tap into in a bigger way.

When you choose to have more contact with even a small number of people who are filled with enthusiasm, ideas, and big hearts, you will have given yourself a priceless gift.

Venturing beyond comfort zones

This past weekend I attended a writing retreat. A year and a half ago I ventured into the world of personal writing for the first time, having no idea of whether I would like it, and harboring doubt that I would be “good at it.”

It’s easy to shy away from new things

Writing had not been easy or fun for me in school and long after I entered the work world. When I started sending out my Big Ideas newsletters a decade ago, I easily found topics I wanted to share but I did not write with ease. 

As with most things, when you care about doing something — in my case, having ideas I was passionate about sharing — it is easy to commit to doing it. And the more you stick with doing that thing the more you facility you develop for doing it.

Writing weekly articles has become far easier, and something I now do with joy.

But the idea of trying to write from my heart — personal stories or fictional essays — seemed mysterious and daunting.

Did I have a big “WHY” for trying it, like I have for my weekly articles?

Not really.

Did I have curiosity about trying a new expressive form with the guidance of a teacher I’d met who seemed like a gentle and gifted person?

Yes.

I have become more and more willing to step out of my comfort zone as I’ve strengthened the muscles of being a creator in a broad range of ways.

So I challenged myself to explore this new medium and experience what “writing from the deep voice” could feel like.

The act of creating can be challenging

Meeting Leslie Berliant and stepping into the magic of her teaching has enriched my life in unexpected and wonderful ways. She nurtures and supports great women to birth remarkable stories and books. 

I am so glad I allowed myself to explore this new form of creative expression.

And yet, creative flow has often proven to be elusive, as it was at the start of this weekend’s retreat.

I have frequently had the same challenge when I enter my studio to paint. 

Getting past what feels like a brick wall to find flow is something I am still learning to do with patience.

Because being patient and loving to myself is always the key when ideas and inspiration feel inaccessible.

At the retreat it was easy to compare myself to the other (incredibly talented) writhers in the room. It was tempting at times to say I did not want to share what I'd just spent an hour writing. However, that was not an option!

What I learned was that staying open, connecting to all of my emotions, giving myself time, dropping self-judgement, and choosing to find gratitude and pleasure along the way were the keys to breaking through the barrier.

Words gradually began to flow with more ease.

I also learned (again!), that none of us can judge our own work. 

As we wrote for our last block of time on Sunday, I shared something I thought was all right. The response I got from everyone in the room was pure delight at what I had read. One person declared it felt like the start of a novel she would love to read!

Clearly, the small breakthrough I thought I had had was bigger than I was able to assess.

Magic can happen when you find your process and keep going

It’s easy to feel discouraged when inspiration feels elusive. By trusting and staying in a place of possibility, you can remain open and continue to write, or paint, or come up with new directions, concepts and ideas.

If you find yourself feeling a bit stuck or blocked, make any small effort to keep going. Then take another small step and see what shows up.

You may experience a breakthrough, too. 

After the writing retreat, a group of us did a live reading from the latest anthology, Writrix Volume Two: Rays of Light, at the Brookline Booksmith. You can watch the reading on YouTube here, and you can order a copy of the book here.

Savoring the creative work of others at the writing retreat

Getting ready to read at Brookline Booksmith

Sharing my work at the podium at our book reading

Stepping out and singing free

If you saw my brief email last week, you know I was far away, attending a week-long event in a redwood forest several hours north of San Francisco. I was invited to attend Camp Abundant — a briliantly-named and conceived experience.

I left for the adventure the morning after leading my Live Big Live! three-day retreat in Boston. The two remarkable experiences, back-to-back, filled me with inspiration for which I am deeply grateful.

I am delighted to share three significant take-aways with you.

1. People are the key ingredient.

While I created the structure and designed the experience for the Live Big Live! retreat, the true magic is always the women who say, “Yes!” to engaging in the process. This cohort showed up fully and shared with big hearts to support one another. It was a joy to witness their expansion, and feel the energy of connection deepen each day.

And, at Camp Abundant, where Ben Schemper created a brilliant program of speakers, musicians and experiences, the people he attracted came with big ideas and ambitions for what they want to create in the world, coupled with a deep desire to bring their full, open hearts to everything they do. It was a true joy, and a gift, to share that energy.

2. Magic happens when you step out of your comfort zone.

Staying with what you know feels comfortable, nice and safe — and it’s easy to stick with what is already tested and good.

Yet, bringing new, untested content to my clients is where the surprises, fun and delight happen. I am committed to continuing to create in new ways and willing to see what happens each time.

And, choosing to travel a great distance to attend a week-long retreat on the heels of leading my own retreat, was not guaranteed to be wonderful. I intuitively thought it could be a great experience and trusted my gut, in spite of inevitable fatigue, and knowing I would be sleeping in a tent (for the first time in decades!). I am so glad I said, “Yes.”

3. Don’t sing to be good, sing to be free!

These encouraging and wise words were shared by the wonderful singer, Jess Magic, accompanied by musicians Larissa, Joshua and Brent, as they led us in singing together. This was liberating for so many people that morning, and struck me as a magnificent way we can all orient ourselves to creating in every way.

Whether you have a paintbrush in your hand, a song in your heart, a poem to get onto paper, a desire to move your body to music, or a new idea to explore, allow yourself to feel free and go for it!

Getting creative at Live Big Live!

Deep sharing at Live Big Live!

Standing with massive redwoods

Evening musical experiences

Jess Magic led us in song

Inspiration from the great outdoors

I am excited to be far away from home this week, in magnificent woods.

I’m on a retreat where I’m resting, soaking up the inspiration of nature, learning, and connecting with new people and ideas.

My intention is to hold the spirit of this experience when I return and create with that energy in ways I cannot yet envision.

I look forward to sharing more with you soon!

And I invite you to look for inspiration wherever you are now.

Whether you are outdoors in nature or at your desk, wonder can always be spotted and savored.

Finding opportunity in adversity

Who hasn’t felt discouraged when something failed to go as hoped, or plans fell through, or an outcome that seemed promising fell flat?

People sometimes find themselves sliding from discouragement into more negative thoughts, of deep disappointment, anger, feeling defeated, and sometimes, feeling hopeless.

Even as things feel heavy, when you choose to make a key shift in thinking it can make a world of difference.

This is the shift that can work wonders:

Get creative and see what happens

When you orient yourself to what is possible, to what you can create, the potential for great outcomes is amazing. 

When you choose that new outlook, you bring fresh, positive energy to the matter at hand.

Your intention might be to create a new next step forward, or to create a new alternative, or to initiate a new conversation, or to test a new approach.

You can then reflect on each effort and continue to create as you move ahead.

Taking consistent, positive steps forward with this mindset of what is possible for you to create is a game-changer!

Your mindset is an incredible resource

There is a great quote from the renown Chinese general, philosopher and writer, Sun Tzu, that you may want to keep in mind:

“Can you find and exploit the advantage in every adversity?”

When you choose to adopt the mindset of a creator, it becomes possible — and can even be joyful — to find advantages and realize benefits whenever you face challenges. 

Unlock your potential

In the midst of your busy life, are you grappling with questions about what’s next, or what opportunities to go after?

Do you yearn for a change, or know a change is imminent, or feel that something must change — in your personal life and/or your work?

Do you feel stuck, like so many great women do at one point or another?  

Figuring out your answers to questions like these requires time and focus.

Do you make time for yourself?

It takes time and space to think quietly, take stock of what’s happening in your life, and determine what you really want.

Sadly, most of us never set aside time to think about those matters.

And, even when we do, it can be daunting to consider all that swirls in your head, much less devise a plan for new ways to move ahead in your life.

Time and again, I hear from women who have tried to figure things out on their own and got overwhelmed.

They struggle to set a vision for what they really want, and struggle to identify clear options and ways forward.

The magic of structure 

Rather than fumbling and feeling frustrated on your own — or pushing through your days without trying to sort through where you are and where you want to go in your life — there is a better way.

Having a guide and a structured way to get clear makes a world of difference.

Here are two options you can consider that can lead you to clarity and a path forward.

Work with a coach

Having struggled on my own for many years when I ran my design and marketing business, raising young children, and volunteering, I was maxed out and sometimes felt like I was running on empty.

And part of the reason I was so overwhelmed is that I thought I had to — and could — do everything on my own.

I never considered getting help. 

When the economy tanked and I was under more pressure than ever in my business, I found myself sitting at a table with a business coach. I thought he was smart and I liked his approach to our conversation. I said, “Yes” to hiring him — which was a huge step for me. 

And starting that work changed my life! 

Not only did my business benefit, I gained a world of insight and clarity about everything in my life. The time I devoted to the focused, guided thinking propelled me in directions I would likely never have taken.

I have continued to work with great coaches and mentors ever since, for whom I am filled with gratitude.

Go on a retreat

A meaningful way to make space in your life to do deep thinking, find inspiration, and gain important perspective is to step away from your life — for a few days, and even a week or more.

I just returned from a writing retreat, where I spent a week in rural Vermont with my brilliant teacher and coach and 7 other inspiring women. That time away took me to places in my heart I could not have imagined before I left.

I go on retreats several times a year with my coach of five years and our larger crew, that open my heart and mind in powerful ways each time.

One of my early retreats, with my first coach, was to live in a studio and paint for a week in New Mexico. It was life-changing for me.

Inspired by all of those experience, I started to design and lead intimate retreat experiences in 2020. It is a joy to create opportunities for women to take time away from their daily lives, deep dive into their hearts, and leave with insights and concrete plans to create the lives they yearn for.

Check out my Live Big Live! retreat, and what women who have been there have said about the experience.

What is possible for you?

Working with a coach or going on a retreat might lead you to making a small and significant shift, or a major change to the course you are on now.

Do you hear a shout coming from your heart, or a quiet whisper? Maybe desire is stirring, to leave the status quo behind and venture forward in a new way.

In my experience, it is likely that something meaningful will come out of listening to your heart and getting support to step into your best life.

This may be the time for you to have a transformative experience, to connect to all that is possible for you and set a course for your brightest future.

Click here to make a date for us to talk about what you want in your life and what is in the way.

We can explore if the upcoming retreat or other coaching support is a fit for you. (If not, that’s OK.)

And let’s talk soon — this is the last week to enroll for one of the 2 spots that are still open at Live Big Live! 2024.

Healthy ways to process and release anger

When I wrote about fear last week, there was a big response to the ideas I shared about ways to move ahead when that emotion shows up. (If you missed it, you can check it out here.)

Much like fear, anger can grip any of us from time to time, and can be short-lived or sustained.

Anger is normal, and it’s important to feel and respect it in order to deal with it.

And, it’s important to address it, because anger can be destructive, leading to resentment and ongoing suffering.

The grip of anger 

When anger sets in, it’s hard to think clearly, or stand in your power, or show up in ways that are best for you.

Anger rarely just melts away. When it festers it is like a poison in your system. 

You may not even be aware of the cause. You may feel concerned about what your best course of action can be.

And so, it’s common to hold on to anger. And letting anger fester is not in your best interest.

How to process and release anger

Step one, when you feel angry, is to take a deep breath and tune in to what you are experiencing. You also want to identify the underlying cause that has brought on your reaction.

Sometimes you feel quietly angry, sometimes quite furious.

Sometimes you know why you are angry, but you may sometimes not be so sure.

If you feel upset and cannot pinpoint what is bothering you, it’s important to first get clear. From there, you can employ effective ways to move ahead more positively. 

Pinpoint the what and why

Here are two ways to gain clarity about just what is bothering you. 

Make it visual

Pull out paper and crayons. (If you don’t have any around, you can get them in the school-supply section of your nearby drug store).

Simply draw what the anger feels like. Add words if you like, Use the colors that show how you feel. Make marks and images that show the emotion.

Make it as ugly or intense as the anger you feel.

Use the Discovery Dozen™

You may already know how to use the Discovery Dozen™ exercise, that’s a key tool I work with and is included in my book.

If you don't know how the Discovery Dozen works, you can download a quick guide to using it.

You could start with this fill-in-the-blank sentence:

“Right now I feel angry/furious/enraged because…”

Quickly add an ending to that sentence root, and keep doing that 12 times, for 12 different full sentences. Then look over what shows up.

Next you have an opportunity to drill down deeper, and do another Discovery Dozen. Try it.

You can choose from your answers in the first list of completed sentences and use this structure for a new Discovery Dozen:

“The thing that makes me angriest about [the thing you picked from your first round of sentence endings] is…”

You may want to use this second Discovery Dozen over again, selecting a different response from your first list of sentences. When you write quickly, insights that were not top-of-mind are likely to show up.

By using both the visual and written methods, you will likely have new awareness.

And the acts of creating in these ways may help you begin to feel better, too.

Release anger and free your spirit

When you are angry and you know what the cause is, it may feel frightening.

You may feel afraid to express it.

You may try to push it aside, or stuff it down.

Doing that rarely works for long, and can build the intensity of your anger. When that happens, anger may burst out and cause a new round of emotional distress.

There are safe ways to release the emotional intensity of anger, so that you can take a thoughtful approach and move forward.

Here are some options to consider:

Try physically moving the angry energy

• Pull out a pillow and beat it (against a bed, or any surface that will not be harmed). Shout as you do it. Repeat for as long as you need, to feel that you have drained the pent up negative energy.

• Write furiously — vent it all on paper.

• Go for a run, or do an intense workout.

Talk to a trusted friend, coach or advisor

It’s easy for intense emotions like anger to highjack your thoughts, where they loop endlessly.

When you turn to someone who can listen and support you to think calmly, you can more easily find clarity. They may be able to help you identify aspects you did not see on your own, gain perspective, and help you plan for what you can or want to do next.

You may want to follow these steps with mediation or yoga, to support you to think clearly about a conversation to have or an action to take that can address the situation that brought the anger on.

Being on the other side of anger

Having attended to your anger you will be able to create a positive path forward.

Whether that is having a meaningful and constructive conversation, initiating a new way of interacting with someone, feeling clearer about your feelings and reactions, being able to forgive someone, or feeling able to release the anger completely, you will have new tools available for the next occasion when anger appears.

5 Techniques to move through fear

Fear is a universal experience. So are tough emotions such as anger, worry and desperation.

These powerful forces challenges all of us.

Today, let’s look at fear and how to move through and past it. (Stay tuned for emails about other difficult emotions, that will follow soon.)

We all feel fear!

Sometimes that fear is related to something that puts us, or someone we care about, in mortal danger. More often we are afraid of things that are not actually dangerous.

Because our lizard brains were wired in ancient times, when mortal danger was frequently a risk, we instinctively find ourselves experiencing fear.

Happily, we have far less danger in the modern world, and there are a number of good ways to end that suffering no matter the cause.

Common advice falls short

I have heard well-meaning people advise that you can tell yourself that fear is not real, and that doing that will make the fear go away.

But when you are afraid, you are responding to something that feels very real to you. In my experience, and observing others, being told that fear is not real, so just let it go, is not helpful.

What to do instead

Of course, fear can have a different degree of hold on you at different times, and depending on what brought it on.

Sometimes a small shift in thinking and perspective can work wonders, or employing a new way of responding can do the trick.

Try some or all of these techniques and see what works for you.

1. The power of hope

No matter what the fear relates to, bringing hopefulness to mind can make you feel much better. 

Hope is powerful. It helps reduce the anxiety that can accompany fear. As you focus on hope and more positive thoughts appear, the fear that gripped you will begin to recede.

2. The power of love

It may surprise you to learn that another great antidote to fear is love. Actively bringing a focus to love — for yourself, for someone else (even the person you feel anger toward), for the world — produces chemicals in the brain that reduce fearful thinking. 

Then, whatever made you feel afraid can be considered with a calmer, clearer and more hopeful frame of mind.

3. The power of awareness

The fear you feel may be sending you a signal — that you have a desire to try something new (like a physical challenge) or go for something different (like an exciting new job) — and that your fear is there to help you resist giving it a try.

The fear may be trying to protect you from the possibility of failing, or embarrassment. 

The truth is, you will never know if you can or will succeed (right off the bat or after several restarts), until you try. 

And if this kind of fears shows up, remind yourself that it does not entail mortal danger.

4. The power of choice

The truth is that in any situation, we can choose a new way of thinking and a new way of responding.

We can choose to bring a new perspective to the matter. We can choose to look at our circumstance through a new lens.

We can also choose to trust — ourselves and our creative thinking, and particular people who can support us. 

When you hold the awareness in your mind of all the choices you can employ, and practice using those choices, you can cope with things that have felt really hard in the past.

5. The power of gratitude

The science is clear. When you focus on gratitude, levels of the stress hormone cortisol get lower. This works to block toxic emotions of many kinds. 

Neurological studies show that your brain cannot be in a state of appreciation and fear at the same time. When you focus on what you have and what is good, and not on what you lack or fear, the fearful feelings fall away.

Email me to share the approach, or approaches that work best for you.

Techniques for vibrant living

Maybe you saw the eclipse — or just heard about it before, during and after it happened. Some were lucky and saw it, many having made a long trip to a prime location.

Others had little interest in making an effort to travel, or even get special glasses to use at their front door.

In a coaching conversation today, a client remarked that what interested her the most was the energy of the cosmic event, more than what she saw. (It’s worth noting that at her location there was only 93% coverage.)

I loved that part of our conversation, because I believe that when we tune in to the energy of any event, any conversation, and most of all, the energy we feel and generate, we can be enriched.

Consider these great ways to access and build positive energy.

Connect to the energy inside you

Your body is so much more than flesh and bones. You are filled with, made up of, tremendous energy! 

When you build awareness of the energy you feel, you can use it in meaningful ways.

When you feel great, ride that energy!

When you feel wonderful — happy, excited, enthusiastic, playful — tap in fully to that energy and make the most of it!

Pause to consider all the ways you can leverage that energy to generate ideas and take actions.

And find ways to enjoy whatever you may need to do that is not so appealing, when you use that fertile energetic spirit to fuel you.

When you are feeling flat or low, you can build new energy.

We all find ourselves feeling dull, sad, or stressed from time to time. Here are some steps that can help you to shift your energy upward:

1. Take stock of what you are feeling.

Sometimes you know you feel angry, or frustrated or irritated. At other times, identifying just what you are feeling can be less clear. And often it’s not obvious why you feel a particular unpleasant emotion.

Getting clear is a key first step.

You can use my Discovery Dozen™ tool to explore and to find clarity.

Start by writing this fill-in-the-blank sentence at the top of a page:
Right now I feel… because…

Complete the 2 blanks portions of that sentence 12 times, for 12 complete sentences. Write as quickly as you can, and see what shows up.

Be sure to write anything that comes to mind and complete all 12 sentences!

When you read your sentences, it’s likely that you will be able to pinpoint what it is you are feeling, and feel clearer about what is bothering you.

2. Move those feelings through you and out! 

When you give the unwanted emotion an outlet, you can release the hold it has on you.

How?

Try screaming into a pillow. Or beating a pillow hard. Or journaling all the thoughts you have about the matter until you have exhausted yourself. Or dance it out. Or draw what the ugly emotion looks like. Or go out and run.

Any way you choose will allow you to release the emotion that is limiting you. You may have to repeat the release (in the same way or try different approaches). These are many great ways to feel better.

And when you feel the weight of the tough emotion lift, you can begin thinking more positively. You can choose new ways to move. You can consider a new lens through which to reflect on the issue. You can choose to let it go completely.

You can bring positivity into your day. You may well find yourself laughing or playing.

Then you can ride that upbeat energy!

Seek out positive energy around you 

In addition to the energy you generate, you can tap into powerful positive energy when you think about where it is already.

Think about the people you spend time with. Choose to surround yourself with people who are fun to be with, optimistic and inspiring.

Visit places that light you up. You might find great energy in a museum, at a sporting event, at a party, in the quiet of a walk in the woods, in your favorite chair where you enjoy reading poetry.

Do things you love, like playing an instrument, or baking, or painting, or gardening, or exploring. 

The more you do these things, the more you will naturally create positive energy, without effort!

Share what works for you!

I would love to hear your favorite way to turn around negative or difficult energy, and how you keep your best energy flowing.

Email me and let me know. I will be glad to share interesting new ways we can all try out to build more energy in our systems for living our best lives.

An invitation to create your best life

Do you, like so many people, replay past events with regret?

It is tempting and easy to think about a decision you made, a conversation you had, a response made quickly, and wish it had been different.

When you feel the pull to question, reexamine, or suffer about things in the past, you cheat yourself.

How?

You cheat yourself out of being present now, and when that happens you lose precious opportunities to create what is possible in this moment.

What you are able to create in every moment (a new idea, a meaningful conversation, a new boundary, something you never dared to explore before) can actually shift your trajectory.

And that one small shift can lead you to a future that is more satisfying and fulfilling.

That’s an incredible possibility.

What are you creating now?

What are you thinking about and taking action on to create the life you truly want to live?

Are your thoughts and actions propelling you in a direction that excites you, or are they limiting you?

Perhaps you are dwelling on negativity and worry, which is common and may feel reasonable. A conscious shift to gratitude and positive possibility can bring inspiring energy to your next efforts.

Perhaps you feel unsure or timid. A shift to exploring with someone you trust can provide insight and inspiration to take a step you might otherwise not have tried.

Each moment of your day offers the opportunity to create a new thought, take a new step, be a bit bolder.

You may not have considered that these are acts of creation!

What happens when you consciously create 

When you create from a place of belief, clarity and trust, you can move ahead with optimism and willingness to experiment, knowing that you can continue to create in each moment.

When you try new things, course-correct if necessary, and create a new next step forward — over and over again — your life can change in remarkable ways.

This can become a new way of operating. A new way of living.

Take a small, meaningful step now

I invite you to make one small commitment to yourself today — to create something just beyond your habitual way of operating, or just outside of your comfort zone.

It may be to say “no,” if you know deep down that that response is called for.

It might be to say “yes” to your heart, if you feel it’s time to try something new.

And if that “something new” is to to say “yes” to you — to make space for yourself, to look deep into your heart and find true clarity about what you want, and to have a guide to begin creating that reality — you may want to say “yes!” to a once-a-year opportunity that’s just round the corner.

Start creating the future you dream of

Each spring I lead the Live Big Live! retreat in Boston, and this opportunity is only happening once in 2024.

On June 6, 7, and 8, 2024, an intimate group of incredible women — like you! — will come together to move though a life-changing experience together. And we start in a virtual format together before the retreat, so you will have a solid foundation for everything that happens in our beautiful space together.

Here’s what you can expect:

• You will be guided to crystalize a vision that is rooted in deeply knowing yourself.

• You will experience creativity in inspiring, fun, and surprising ways — and no special talent or experience is needed!

• You will receive tools to use, again and again, whenever you feel doubtful or stuck, to keep moving toward your dreams. 

• You will learn from and be supported by other great women, and in turn you will bring your gifts to them.

• You will create a concrete plan for how you will live into your vision for the next 90 days — so the inspiration and insights will be specifically actionable for you.

• You will amaze yourself and feel excited about your life as never before.

I have witnessed remarkable outcomes at Live Big Live! in the past, and it would be an honor to speak to you to see if this opportunity is a match for you.

My life’s work is to guide and inspire great women to tap all of their potential by activating the transformative power of creativity to live their best lives — to live big!

If you are ready to step into an amazing future, let’s talk soon. We kick off in advance of the retreat, so let’s get a date on the calendar soon! 

Schedule a call here. (There's never a cost or obligation for us to chat.)

Here are a few photos taken at past Live Big Live! retreats

Crafting your life with purpose

We each choose the life we live. And we get to choose each day.

No matter what is happening we have choices. And we have the opportunity to create.

When my family recently faced the loss of my father, coupled with the sudden illness of one of my sisters, who was in a coma for weeks, it was overwhelming to process all of the emotion and move through everything that needed to be done. Life can sometimes suddenly throw a lot at you.

And even in extreme moments and circumstances, we each get to choose how to respond.

Do you crumble — for a little while or an extended period of time? Do you reach out for help? Do you turn to someone you trust as a sounding board? Do you assess and reassess as you move ahead? Do you pay attention to what you need and try and get it (sleep, food, peace and quiet)? Do you find gratitude even in the midst of pain? 

Many of us miss the opportunity to make conscious choices each day.

Even on an “ordinary day,” no matter how things are going, you get to choose the lens through which to look at circumstances and events.

What are you choosing?

If your day is full of delight, you can choose gratitude, and you can bring that energy into each decision and next choice you make. 

If today is less than stellar, you can also choose gratitude, and you can bring that energy into each decision and next choice you make.

When you choose gratitude, love, generosity, possibility and optimism, everything you do is infused with uplifting energy.

When you choose to create each response, each idea, and each next step to take with that positive uplifting energy, you choose your life.

That’s the key to moving through challenges with more ease, and how you can elevate and accelerate the things that are going well.

When things feel daunting try these 3 steps

Try using this simple process whenever you feel stuck in a low frame of mind:

1. Pause to sit and breathe.

2. Consider the situation.

Take a calm, clear look at what is happening. Can you assess the situation with a broader perspective than when you sat down? 

3. Make a conscious choice.

Choose the response you want to bring to this time.

Feel into your heart and find gratitude. Find love. Think about how you might be generous — to someone else, and to yourself.

Generate as much optimism as possible.

Then consider possibilities for actions, responses, solutions.

Choose to bring as much positive energy into your next step as possible.

As you make choices with intention, you create your best life.

Last week I chose to attend a retreat with my amazing coach and a stellar group of people doing fabulous work in the world. This is the view that greeted me each day. The energy and inspiration of the experience created marvelous fuel for my spirit. 

I’ve created two amazing retreats that are coming up this year. One may be perfect for you to find inspiration to live your biggest life. Email me if you are curious!

Step into new possibilities

Most people live in their comfort zone, where it feels safe — and comfortable! That was familiar territory for me. I lived in a cozy, if small, comfort zone for years.

I recall how uncomfortable it was, when I first worked with a coach, to think of stepping outside of my comfort zone. The uncertainty I felt about a host of unknowns seemed daunting.

And, I learned that by choosing to look at things differently, I could also see opportunity.

What if you focused on curiosity and exploration rather than fear?

For some people, a significant event shakes them up and inspires them to step beyond their comfort zone.

In my case, it was a slower process of building awareness that I was no longer content with the status quo. A soft voice inside me piped up to say that I was no longer excited about the work I’d been doing for decades and it was time for something to change.

And I said yes.

I was willing to trust myself, get curious and explore what was possible. Fear and resistance fell away.

Giving myself the opportunity to explore and make discoveries led me to fresh and exciting insights, and many new experiences. It wasn’t long before my new path became clear and I was energized to forge ahead.

What is simmering inside of you, related to your work, your relationships, an upcoming transition, or your satisfation with life?

What might it look like for you to open yourself up to new possibilities?

There is power in taking one small step 

Rather than staying where you are now — no matter where you are on the spectrum that spans dissatisfied, to uncertain, to eager for something new — I invite you to take a step across that invisible line at the edge of your comfort zone and the possibility of something new, different, bigger, better.

Start with saying a quite “Yes” to yourself — a “Yes” to taking a single, small step into new possibility.

• Your small step may be to make a change in a routine that feels stale.

• Your step might be to reach out to someone and talk about an idea that intrigues you.

• You might try something different, like a new way of moving your body, or a new way of creating to express yourself.

• Your step can be taken at your desk, or on an excursion to a place that inspires you.

• You might explore ideas you have now, or generate new ideas to consider.

Any new step counts. Start and then take another step (in the same direction or a different one).

Getting into motion builds momentum. So set an intention to take action.

Are you ready to begin?

Most people wait for the “right time” to take a new step. And most people put off action because they are never sure they are “ready.”

I urge you to start today — simply take one small step over the line into new possibility!

And you might make that step a call with me. You can book a quick intro call to share what’s going on in your life, and what you yearn for. (There’s no pressure, cost or obligation for us to talk.)

Live BIG in 2024!

When was the last time you created space for yourself — to think deeply and explore your heart? 

Have you ever spent a few days with other women who are courageously considering important questions, getting clear about the life they truly desire, and being supported to start creating that life?

One of the most beautiful expressions of the outcome of this process was shared with me this past weekend. One of the women who said “Yes” to herself and attended a retreat I led in January shared where she is now.

“I am exploring the ocean that is me. I am immersed, and seeing all that is coming up for me. I am honing and exploring and finding joy!”

What will you discover when you say “Yes”?

The opportunity to give yourself some time and space to focus squarely on yourself is special. And doing it with guidance, in a small group with other great women, is remarkably enriching.

If you are willing to embark on a process of personal exploration, I predict that you will make great discoveries.

If you believe that you matter and that you can learn to create a future that will light up your heart, I predict that you will feel excited to step into a new version of you — a you who feels agency in her life as never before.

Explore what’s possible for you!

The Live Big Live! retreat, that I last offered a year ago and that is now offered only once a year, is returning this spring.

The 3-day retreat is preceded with a preparatory process that’s designed to give you a solid foundation before we gather in person. You will have tools that provide clarity and discoveries, private sessions with me, and group calls where you will connect to the other fabulous women in the group.

Our time at the retreat will include fun and creativity, as insights emerge and breakthroughs are experienced. In short, this program will propel powerful momentum to fuel your life!

Live Big Live! is a singular opportunity to experience what past attendees have raved about. (Check out what they have said here.)

Now is a particularly good time to check out Live Big Live! and see if you feel the urge to learn more about it. 

Why consider Live Big Live! now?

I am offering a special fee for the program through the end of the month. The special offer will expire on February 29, 2024. 

If you feel this spring may be the time to step away from your day-to-day routine, connect to your heart, nurture your spirit, and get energized to create your ideal life in a BIG way, let’s talk soon. 

Look for time on my calendar here. We’ll meet on a call to be sure your questions are answered and see if the fit is right.

I will be delighted for us to talk.

Transform your world with love

This week love is celebrated around the world. (Shop windows in Paris were full of hearts in pink and red when I was there last week.) How special and sweet!

I invite you to pause and consider the breadth of what love is and can be, and ways you can create and share it.

Because it’s magical that love can be created — in many meaningful ways!

How do you love?

Love has many dimensions, and some are commonly overlooked. Let’s dive in.

We typically focus on romantic love.

Love shared in relationships is what most people think about when February 14 rolls around. Dinners out, flowers, sweets are the expressions of love most of us share with special people in our lives.

Whether your life is filled with romance, or you long for romantic love, there is always an opportunity to bring the energy of this kind of love into your life.

Think about how you can create beauty in your environment. Light candles, treat yourself to flowers, listen to wonderful music, savor flavors of special foods, initiate meaningful conversations. visit special places that light up your heart.

Whether with a partner, family, friends or on your own, you can create love and joy in countless ways.

The importance of cultivating self-love cannot be overstated.

Cultivating deep self-love not only helps you to be happier each day, it provides a foundation that enables you to abundantly love others and to spread love wherever you go. 

And, yes, the concept is uncomfortable for many people. Women often tell me they feel selfish just thinking about the idea of self-love.

You can gently start to create a self-love practice. Take baby steps at first and keep going.

Begin by focusing on your talents and gifts. Fully acknowledge how special you are! Also think about how worthy you are of happiness, love, and goodness of every kind in your life. You may want to do some brief journaling about the particulars of your special talents, and your worthiness, when you start or end your day.

To help you to fully embrace and embody those ideas, smile lovingly at yourself in the mirror when you greet yourself at the start of your day, and before bed each evening.

Put your hands on your heart as you look into your eyes with love. Leave judgement behind. See and acknowledge the true, deep beauty in your reflection. 

And now it’s time to begin to focus on accepting and loving the parts of you that are not perfect — the parts that feel unworthy, or are critical of others, or are prone to anger or anxiety or bitterness, or are quick to judge.

When you can love and accept all of who you are, it will become easier to give yourself grace. You are likely to notice that you can gently release the intensity of those parts that you have struggled with.

As you make self-love a practice, you will also find it easier to feel love and spread love to others.

Be a generator of love in the world.

There are endless opportunities to create love that will not only enrich your heart, but enrich those around you.

Consider how you can orient your thinking and actions to love.

For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, they may be struggling with any number of stresses. I have found rather than cursing at such people, I wish them love — because they clearly seem to need it. (And I notice that doing that makes me feel better.)

Small loving acts, such as helping someone by holding the door for them, or acknowledging and thanking someone who provided an extra touch, or sending a note to someone you have not seen in a while to brighten their day, are examples of generating tidbits of love that are meaningful for both the recipient and you.

When you actively focus on ways to infuse love in the world, that loving energy spreads widely. The recipient of your love is likely to generate more love, a thus the ripple effects extend way beyond what you will likely ever know.

When more and more of us live as creators of love, our impact is incalculable.

This is how we can build the world with love.

What future are you choosing?

Have you ever paused to think that you choose your future every day?

Your decisions, your choices, and the actions you take each day have a tremendous impact on the life you will lead down the road.

Are you a drifter?

Sadly, most people drift through their lives. When I look back I see all the ways I had drifted for a long time.

Yes, I made some bold decisions. Some of the important ones, in addition to choosing the partner to spend my life with and deciding to have children, were leaving a corporate job to start my first business; deciding not to relocate for a job that was going to pay me handsomely, but upon reflection I realized would not make me happy; and my most recent great decision — to sell my business, explore, and find a new direction that I would really love.

I was focused about making each of those decisions.

And, I know that I lived much of my life without focusing intentionally.

For years I moved on autopilot through daily routines.

I kept up with demands and put out fires. I frequently said yes to requests without thinking about the “opportunity cost” of those yesses.

I rarely stopped to consider the ways I was living and where those ways of living were taking me — until I had my big wake-up call (to sell my business in 2011).

It was then that I realized that I had the opportunity to make thoughtful, careful, well-considered decisions all the time. 

What I learned was that each of my decisions leads me to a life that I create, rather than living by default as I had for so long.

What future are you choosing?

Your choices point you in a direction, which is why it is worth considering the choices you make.

Are your choices aligned with what really matters to you?

Think about choices like:

• who you spend time with

• what you listen to and read

• how you spend your free time

• how you show up in the world — from the clothes you wear to what you say (and do not say)

Think about how clear you are about what you want. This will let you live with a vision to guide you, so you can more easily live with intention.

And think about how clear — and how big — your vision is.

What choices are you making today?

Sit with that question for a few minutes. Consider your choices, and how they line up with your dreams.

Jot down lots of your choices — like those related to the people in your life, your habits (that may or may not be ideal), the responsibilities and opportunities that your have taken on or are considering now, and more.

When you see them clearly noted on paper, you can assess whether they are positive and affirming, or if there are things you want to change.

Your next step (that will now be easier to implement) is to be more self-aware as you consider all of your daily choices, and the bigger choices and decisions that are right for you.

Watch for significant rewards!

As you build your awareness and choose carefully, things will begin to change in marvelous was.

And when more of us live with intention, choosing with care and moving in directions that are fully fulfilling, more lives will change for the better. More of us will be happy and energized, and people around us will feel and see it!

We can impact our families, our communities, our workplaces and beyond!

My vision is for accomplished women everywhere to boldly step into their power, make great choices so they show up with clarity and passion and realize all that is possible for them.

I see legions of women leading and inspiring others in incredible ways.

Please join me! As each of you chose with intention and make your life the best it can be, this vision will grow organically.

I cannot wait to see how it all unfolds.