Overwhelm to Openness: Embracing a New Way of Living

Most accomplished women work hard — really hard! Working hard was such a normal part of my life, for so long, that I did not believe there was any other way to live.

And I paid a steep price for living that way.

I was exhausted and stressed. And I missed out on so much The relaxed time with my family and friends that I yearned for was, instead, crammed into an overcrowded schedule. I was usually preoccupied, feeling pressure to get the next thing done.

I had trouble relaxing on vacations, too. 

I felt trapped and couldn’t envision how things would ever change.

What I learned that opened space — and elevated my spirit

My lessons have unfolded over time, and truth be told, none of them are quick-fixes. Accepting that reality and being patient as I made changes has made a significant difference in my life.

I patiently began to embrace new concepts and take new steps, that you may want to explore. Space opened up in my schedule, and even more amazingly, in my mind and heart.

Consider starting small. Choosing to implement these ideas can have a meaningful impact.

1. Create “white space” on your calendar

You may know that I owned a designer firm in my first career. One important principal in design is to leave ample white space in a layout or a web page, so the content is not dense or not crowded, allowing a reader to focus with ease.

Leaving white space on your calendar gives you space and time to focus on what is important, without clutter or stress (to your energy or spirit).

Consider what you are saying “Yes” to, and what “No’s” you can start saying.

Think about who you can delegate tasks to, and who you can turn to for help.

Putting this awareness to work is a game-chamger.

2. Sustain a positive frame of mind

In a world filled with constant tensions and issues — close to home and globally — it is easy to feel pulled into worry and drama. Thoughts like those used to highjack me.

What I learned and have practiced is to bring a focus to gratitude for all that is good. Try it and you will see that your attention will be directed to positive emotions. You’ll set yourself up to ride a wave of possibility. You will free your spirit to create! 

What might you create? New ideas. New actions to take. New conversations to initiate. New ways of expressing yourself, as you show up boldly in the world.

All of these positive ways of creating will move you into an elevated state of mind!

3. Let go and allow

While I was sure I had to figure everything out myself  — not to mention doing all that was entailed on my own — I have learned that there is power in creating an energetic foundation and allowing my spirit, and the universe, to assist me.

I know this may sound woo to many people, but bear with me!

• First I learned to open space in my life, as described in #1 above.

• Then I focused on sustaining a positive outlook, as in #2.

• I began to trust myself more. 

• I began to create actively all day every day. 

• I expanded my vision and started to dream bigger.

• And I allowed the energy of all of that to help me find my way.

I let go of having to have all the answers figured out before taking action.

And incredible things have appeared for me — insights, resources, new directions — that I would not have envisioned on my own!

What change will you make today?

This is a perfect time to explore a small new step that can lead to remarkable change in your life.

Take a first step. Then another.

And if you want support to get started, or to sustain your efforts, email me. We can talk about all that is possible for you and your path begin to creating the life you dream of.

Inspiration from the great outdoors

I am excited to be far away from home this week, in magnificent woods.

I’m on a retreat where I’m resting, soaking up the inspiration of nature, learning, and connecting with new people and ideas.

My intention is to hold the spirit of this experience when I return and create with that energy in ways I cannot yet envision.

I look forward to sharing more with you soon!

And I invite you to look for inspiration wherever you are now.

Whether you are outdoors in nature or at your desk, wonder can always be spotted and savored.

Finding peace in uncertain times

We are living through a tense, tender time that is full of uncertainty. Most of us feel fear, anxiety and sadness, and are looking for the best ways to cope as events unfold. 

About a year ago I wrote a post about choices, and choosing happiness. My point was that we always have choices about how we respond to events and situations. In that post I shared a graphic to help bring awareness to what is in one’s control — and what is not.

This seemed like an excellent time to share that graphic again — this time to support us as so many feel despair and helplessness.

My hope is that by being clear about what we can control, and what is outside of our control, we can take action to support our wellbeing.

You have more agency than you may think

As the graphic below shows, we cannot control the actions of others, what happens around us, or the future.

The first two things we can control, as listed in the graphic, relate to our emotions. And at this time, when emotions are high and often feel hard to manage, there are several ways we can support ourselves.

• Your thoughts and actions

When your thoughts spin down to fear and anxiety, the stress that builds in your system pulls you ever lower.

Rather than living with despair and having that pressure build, you can express the emotions you feel, to release their intensity.

Creating is an excellent outlet for managing emotions of all kinds.

Whether you choose making art (it can be soothing or harsh), dancing, kneading dough to release pent up emotions, or singing loudly in your car, any way to express your difficult emotions through a creative act will be helpful.

Consider the stimuli you choose for your thoughts. 

As you may recall, I have shared that last year I stopped listening to news at the start of each day. Instead I choose some music to soothe me, or energize me, or lighten my heart, as I get dressed each morning. I highly recommend this practice!

Actions such as writing in a journal, going for a run or doing yoga, meditating, and keeping a gratitude journal are also great practices to bring into your day. They will impact your thoughts and thus the actions you take.

• What you give your energy to

Rather than allowing your energy to be focused on anger, criticality or bitterness, shifting it to positive actions and thoughts will make a tremendous difference.

When you are intentional about how you exert your energy you will be less likely to slide into negativity and distress.

You can choose to direct your energy toward connecting to people with kind hearts.

You can direct your energy to accomplishing tasks that are meaningful, enriching and inspiring — for you and others.

You can bring loving energy to each interaction, conversation and action you take.

Let’s all live with intention 

Whatever is going on in the world, we live each day. When we each live our best lives, contribute our gifts and talents, and lead with love and kindness, we are doing good.

This world needs as much of that goodness as we can collectively offer.

I am listening to John Lennon's Imagine on repeat — to stay inspired and to believe that peace is possible.

You may say I am a dreamer, but I know that I'm not the only one.

How to stay grounded when stress shows up

All of us have ups and downs. But in the times we have been living through, many of us find ourselves dealing with stress more frequently than in the pre-COVID era, or find ourselves stressed in response to situations that never existed before.

And, stress is not to be taken lightly or blithely brushed aside.

How stress takes a toll

When we are stressed, our bodies release hormones that increase heart rate and breathing. Strained respiratory systems can lead to asthma and other difficulties.

Stress causes tension that can be mild to debilitating. Painful neck and shoulder muscles are common, as are headaches — that range in severity.

Stress can influence our diets, causing cascading problems like acid reflux and other GI disturbances. 

And then there’s the emotional toll of stress, ranging from anxiety to fatigue to overwhelm to depression.

Further, the more stress we have, and the longer it persists, the greater the negative impact it has on or lives.

We do have power, even in stressful circumstances

Even when things feel really hard — and even when we cannot control much that we used to be able to control — we always have choices.

And choosing deliberately can ground you in ways you may not realize is possible.

Follow these 3 steps and see what happens.

1. Choose your frame of mind

If you feel anxiety rising, choose to quiet your body and your mind. Sit and breathe for several minutes, or meditate. Try some 4x4 box breathing or butterfly tapping — that I describe on the Thriving Now page on my site, where you will find many other good resources, too.

You may also want to release emotions by creating.

A client recently said that having gained new insights in our work about the power of creativity to cope with emotion, she made a vivid drawing of the anxiety she felt and that help her to release it.

Another client said that enrolling in a dance class months ago has turned out to be one of her best decisions. She is amazed at how it has helped her cope in challenging times.

By calming your nervous system and releasing unwanted emotions, you will feel better in the moment, and you will set yourself up for better outcomes.

2. Ask yourself good questions.

We are often faced with matters that feel so big, with so many unknowns, that we get paralyzed.

Now that you've gotten calm and centered, try this. 

Get totally focused on the present, and your options and opportunities. Ask yourself questions like these:

• What is possible?

• What is possible that I never considered?

• What if it’s possible that...?

• What can I create that may sound crazy?

• What wild idea could be the germ of a new way forward?

3. Create your next best step, and the one after it.

When you allow yourself to decide on just your next best step, you take a lot of pressure off of yourself.

Simply make your next best decision. Create one next step. Then chose the next step to take that is right for you.

This is a wonderful way for you to own your power.

You can be a creator in each moment.

And as you create, you are able to be more grounded, rather than pulled into stress.

Where will this process take you?

I would love to hear about the ways these ideas help you to to stand in your power, master your mindset and make forward strides in your life, even when the circumstances around you are tough. 

This is how you can create your life one step at a time — how you create your future. 

If you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and how to get there, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, the changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.