Creating Lasting Change with Simple Daily Habits

We all know how much focus athletes and musicians place on practicing. This is how even enormously accomplished athletes and musicians hone and fine-tune their skills to perform at their best.

Have you thought about what you practice on a regular basis?

In addition to thinking about practicing a skill such as being a better negotiator, or communicating more effectively, or developing your writing abilities, there are subtle ways that a focus on practice can improve your life.

Embrace practices that will help you thrive

The way you think and orient yourself each day has a remarkable impact on your life. Consider choosing to adopt some of these 4 practices.

1. Practice positivity

You can develop a "practice" of approaching everything in your day with a positive frame of mind. Choose to bring awareness to your thoughts, then consciously choose a positive lens through which to see and approach things throughout each day.

This is not to suggest that you push tough emotions aside when they show up!

Let yourself feel them, then do something to process them (such as writing about the feelings, talking things out with a close confidant, or taking a brisk walk). This will allow the difficult emotions space to dissipate.

Then choose positive thoughts and take positive steps forward.

2. Practice self-love

When you make self-love a focus, and include self-care as a way of emphasizing self-love, you build a remarkable foundation for wellbeing. Focusing your practice on small, consistent practices will be wonderfully effective. 

Your practice can include attending to physical wellbeing, like getting ample sleep, good nutrition and moving your body.

Your practice can be boosted when you include self-affirming thinking, choosing to set good boundaries, noticing when your self-critical thoughts show up, and choosing to believe in yourself in spite of the doubts.

And be sure to acknowledge yourself whenever you do something that is just outside of your comfort zone!

These are all self-loving, supportive, positive ways to move through each day.

3. Practice generosity

When you focus on generosity you get the satisfaction of contributing to the wellbeing of others, as well as the betterment of the world! 

And the benefits to you are significant. A regular practice of generosity reduces stress and anxiety, boosts to your immune system, and may even lead to longer life expectancy. 

4. Practice gratitude

Making a focus on gratitude a daily practice elevates your state of mind and enhances the outcomes of everything you do.

You might begin or end each day by noting 5 things (or more) for which you are grateful. Be sure to consider small, subtle things you can put on your list.

This will open your heart, and positive thoughts will be a natural outcome of your gratitude practice.

And there’s a bonus! Your expansive energy will be felt by everyone around you.

Practice with intention!

Deciding to start a practice is great. It’s when you bring clear intention to how and when you will practice that there is a higher likelihood that you will make this practice an ongoing, natural way of living.

You might start each day by setting an intention for great energy and a positive, can-do outlook. One part of my morning ritual is writing for 5 to 10 minutes about the energy I want to cultivate for my day, noting what I feel grateful for, and letting anything else that wants to come to the surface and be considered flow onto the page. I am then ready to get into motion. 

After establishing an orientation for the day (in whatever way works for you), you can bring a focus to the practice or practices you feel will be most supportive for you that day.

As you make a few new practices a regular part of your life, they will become automatic (like brushing your teeth twice a day without having to think about it). You can then easily add a new practice to make your focus.

As you practice, you are in the process of creating your best life — and there are no limits to what is possible for you!

How to be a positive thinker (really!)

Thinking — it’s something we do all day, every day. And most of us rarely pause to consider the impact of what we think about.

I invite you to take a pause with me now.

Consider that, with awareness, your thoughts can become a super-power in your life.

The power of positivity

When you consciously focus on positive things (such as things you desire, new ideas and possibilities that excite you, or anything else that lights you up) and hold your focus on what’s possible and great outcomes, wonderful things happen.

Many of us start thinking about something that excites us and quickly shift to thinking about all the reasons it will be impractical, or hard to achieve, or we conjure a host of possible obstacles.

With intention, you can choose to stay with, or return to, the energy that excited you to begin with.

Not only will your positive thoughts keep you focused on taking action toward your desired outcomes, the energy you exude will impact everyone around you in great ways.

Your positivity and enthusiasm will naturally excite others, and it will attract people to support you.

Positive thoughts lead to positive energy, and that energy can be sustained and expand, even as you navigate challenges along the way.

How to avoid the pitfalls of worry, fear and doubt

Try these strategies whenever you struggle to think positive thoughts.

1. Turn around negative emotions

When you trust yourself and follow your heart, it is easier to connect to positive energy than you may think.

That said, we all have times when we feel low — we are human!

When that happens, you may want to wallow there, or you may want to ignore the feelings.

Instead, get quiet and sit with the emotion. Feel it. And from there you can “exercise” that emotion to transform it.

How?

Create with it!

For example, you might write out your feelings of sadness in a poem, or make a picture that expresses your frustration or confusion. You can dig in a garden, or dance to loud music, or hammer away in a workshop to release anger. Approaches like these help you to get the emotion offloaded from your thoughts and help you to feel lighter. From that place you can calmly refocus on the positive.

2. Tune out negativity around you

We sometimes find ourselves in the company of people who are filled with negative energy. It’s easy to be drawn into that unhappiness, anger, anxiety, or fear.

With awareness, you can keep from falling into the trap of absorbing negative contagions.

Start by finding a quiet place to sit and breathe in silence. When you focus on the present moment and your breath, you can separate yourself from the negative energy. If you breathe this way for as little as two minutes — or longer if possible — you will feel a shift. Or, you may want to sit and listen to a guided meditation, or walk in a quiet beautiful place. Any of these will help you find peace.

After that recentering, you can make a choice. Maybe you will not return to the conversation, or choose not to be in proximity to the person or group that was filled with negativity. Maybe you will return, but will state your point of view and declare that that you will bring a positive frame to discussing the situation.

Knowing how to get back to center will enable to start thinking positively, and choose the way you want to take action.

3. Adopt an abundant mindset

Rather than waiting to respond to negativity, you can preempt much of it when you embrace an abundant mindset.

How to begin?

Try incorporating one or more of these approaches in your day-to-day life:

• Focus on appreciation and gratitude. When you tune in to all there is to appreciate in your life, every day can automatically be filled with thoughts of gratitude.

• Choose to be generous. Be generous with your time. Be generous with your thoughts — yes, you can look for the best in people, realizing most people are doing the best they can. Be generous with money. Be generous with expressions of appreciation to others.

• Welcome abundance. This means feeling deserving and being ready and open to receiving more love, more income, more happiness, more kindness.

• Be curious. Ask yourself questions like, “What if it's possible that...?” and “What can I create now?” No matter the circumstances, you can always think creatively and create your next best, most positive step forward.

• Reframe. There is nearly always a way to reframe a less-than-optimal situation. Ask yourself how you might see it with fresh eyes to find the positive — or how you might find a way to turn things around.

An abundant mindset is a huge asset we can all cultivate.

Why not shift your thoughts today?

There’s no time like the present to consider how much your thoughts are focused on the positive, and to pay attention to when your thoughts dwell on the negative. And no time like now to choose the way that most appeals to you to build or expand an abundant mindset.

With ongoing awareness and practice, you will quickly realize any time your thoughts sink into negativity, and you can refer to these suggestions to shift your focus back to the positive.

Like any change you want to bring into your life, developing a habit of being a positive thinker will take practice. You may want to pick out a small journal to keep on hand and make notes to track how things are going as you focus on this new approach to your thoughts. It will help you to more quickly make positive thinking an automatic way of living.

This superpower is free for you to cultivate. Please let me know how it works for you!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Two surprisingly powerful ways to start living big now

Generosity has been in my thoughts lately, and I’ve noticed how it’s been showing up in conversations with my clients.

I am also thinking about the close link between gratitude — about which I wrote a chapter in my book — and generosity, and how bringing a focus to both of these can have a positive impact on our lives when we aim to live big.

But let me begin with some context.

My book, Live Big: A MAnifesto for a Creative Life, is organized in two important sections, as I will share below. With clarity about that structure, I can better talk about generosity and the connection I see to gratitude.

Why to think about the BEING of living big

On my journey to shifting my professional life to coaching and helping accomplished women — and people everywhere — to live big, I became keenly aware of two ways we can live our best lives.

The foundation is what I came to call “the being of living big.”

With a solid base for who we need to BE to live the big lives we want, we can begin to focus on the things to DO, and make amazing change happen.

While doing helps us live big in exciting ways, starting with a focus on being powerfully supports the doing.

The being chapters in my book include slowing down and being still, living in the present, loving more and living without fear, cultivating patience, feeling free, being grateful, seeing wonder, aligning with your purpose and being true to your heart. Not surprisingly, many of the chapter topics in the first half of the book pair well.

If I write a second edition to the book, I’ll have new chapters to add, and generosity is one I will add to the being section. Generosity pairs beautifully with gratitude.

Why being generous helps you to live big

When you bring a focus of generosity to your daily life — which can include cultivating a generous, kind spirit; giving to others in need; giving others the benefit of the doubt rather than judging them; giving your energy to causes that are important to you; and more — you will reap wonderful benefits.

You will likely build a more optimistic frame of mind, trust more, and feel a deeper connection to your heart.

You may reap health benefits — both physical and mental — and feel more energetic.

Generous people are observed to be happier and feel more fulfilled, and often report being more productive.

And I invite you to consider that there are small, lovely ways to focus on being more generous that you may not have considered.

While it is great to volunteer or make a charitable donation, when you give someone a compliment or positive feedback, or offer to share knowledge, or write a positive review for a restaurant you enjoyed or a book you read, or share a photo of an especially beautiful place, or mail someone a hand-wrtten note, you are being generous in ways that can have a great impact on the wellbeing of others.

In return, you are likely to get a boost of several feel-good hormones. What a gift we give ourselves by engaging generously with the world around us!

Generosity and gratitude go together like peanut butter and chocolate

Ok, so that flavor combination may not be your favorite, but think of cookies and milk, or bacon and eggs, or any other flavor combination that is more special because of the two parts together.

When you focus on ways you can be more generous — and I suggest considering ways to be generous to yourself, as well as with others! — and then create a gratitude practice to use each day, you get bigger, better results.

The emotional impact you will likely experience when being generous in more ways and more often, will make it easy to feel full of gratitude about your life.

There is a wealth of data about the benefits of gratitude. If you are interested in learning more, and seeing 3 exercises I offer to help you cultivate gratitude, check out the chapter on page 50 in my book.

And the more grateful you are, the more easily and naturally generosity will flow.

This dynamic duo can set the stage for many wonderful shifts in your life.

Your enhanced state of being will make it much easier to focus on the doing of living big

The second half of Live Big offers you 10 wonderful ways to choose from (as you need them) to live big.

You may want to be bolder, embrace change, create expressively, learn to listen to your intuition, tap your passion, play with ease, be resilient, cope with confusion, and passionately move into your future each day.

All of this is possible for you.

I learned these lessons on my journey, and help other people to bring these practices into their lives, to create the futures they truly desire. My book is a great way to be supported on your journey — whether you are just embarking or well on your way.

If you have stories to share about generosity, gratitude, or the way these work in tandem in your life, I would be happy to hear from you. Reach out and let me know, or leave a comment below.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.