Ah, inspiring music.
A list of favorites could be enormous , but if I had to choose just one song, it would be John Lennon's Imagine.
I am also a huge fan of David Byrne, and adored experiencing his new America Utopia creative tour de force. (If you have the opportunity to see it, go!)
What music or artist is at the top of your list — and why?
What do you listen to to get inspired? energized? to relax?
What are your top-10 favorites?
Please share!
A client recently mentioned that she starts each day with this question:
How do I want to treat myself today?
I have been asking myself a variation of this question each morning, that was suggested to me be a colleague:
How do I want to feel at the end of the day?
And here are a few other great options to consider as you start your day:
Who do I need to BE today?
What is most important for me today?
How can I slow down today?
How will I acknowledge myself for [ fill in the blank ]?
Starting the morning with a good question like one of these sets you up for a day of intention. Rather than simply drifting through the hours, you will have more focus.
Why not pick one that feels appealing and ask it of yourself each morning this week?
You may want to switch around and see which question works best for you, or set a rotation of questions to use during the week.
And at the end of your day, make a note about how the question had an impact. You are likely to experience important shifts as you bring more focus into your daily life.
Email me, or leave a comment with other good questions you’ve used at the start of your day, and to share the impact of this practice after you’ve tried it.
Just as my client told me about the way her question has been a game-changer, we can all learn from one another and inspire each other when we share great ideas.
There are countless terrific TED talks and videos that are interesting for inspiration and information, and are fun to explore.
Here are a few that I highly recommend. Dive in to one that jumps out at you, and return to this list for new options from time to time.
Brené Brown is my hero. She is brilliant, inspiring and a fantastic presenter. She has helped millions of people to understand that when you allow yourself to be vulnerable it leads to living a whole-hearted, rich life.
TEDxHouston, Listening to Shame (2010)
TED (2012) — her follow-up talk on Listening to Shame
3. If you can’t get enough, also listen to her RSA talk on The Power of Vulnerability
And, you can learn about RSA here.
Brené has continued to provide a huge number of books and content. Google and explore more of her work!
Check out incredible examples of How Frustration Can Make Us More Creative. The stories that Tim Harford shares will blow you away — and inspire you to bring the power of these surprising approaches into your life!
David Kelley is the co-author of Creative Confidence. His TED talk, How to Build Your Creative Confidence, will whet your appetite for the excellent book that David co-authored with his brother, Tom Kelley.
Shawn Achor’s TED Talk, The Happy Secret to Better Work is a great talk about happiness and includes wonderful, simple ways to increase happiness.
Neil Pasricha presents an inspiring TED talk called The 3 A's of Awesome. If you’re wondering about the power of gratitude, this is just the ticket.
This video of John Cleese giving a lecture on Creativity is simply brilliant. He presents 5 factors to make your life more creative, and does so with his signature humor and great insight.
Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk, My stroke of insight, is a fascinating and enlightening talk by a brain scientist who had a massive stroke and lost the facilities in the left hemisphere of her brain. Her description of what she experienced as the stroke began, and what she learned about how the right and left hemispheres of all of our brains work, are specific and amazing. You may also want to listen to her narration of the audio book, My Stroke of Insight.
Sir Ken Robinson’s TED talk is titled Do Schools Kill Creativity?. He has a breezy style while sharing big, thought-provoking ideas. He makes a compelling case that creativity is as important as literacy, describes the way we “grow out” of creativity as we go through the educational system, and much more.
Another TEDx talk brilliant extends some of the ideas in Sir Ken Robinson's TED talk, but with a unique spin. Then 13-year-old Logan LaPlante brilliantly made the case for (and shared components entailed in) Hacking Education for a Happy, Healthy Life. He shares great ideas about creativity, too.
J.K Rowling first focused on the benefits of failure, and then the importance of imagination, in her commencement speech at Harvard in 2008. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
In her TED talk, Your Elusive Creative Genius, Elizabeth Gilbert (author of the best-selling book Eat Pray Love) reflects on the expectations for artists and geniuses in the wake of unexpected success. She shares her compelling experiences about what it's like for her to create, as well as her engaging ideas about how creativity works.
I was delighted to receive a link to this TEDx talk, Simple Gratitude, by Louie Schwartzberg, who is an award-winning filmmaker after writing my blog post on gratitude. His talk addresses — and shows — the majesty and impact of nature, and how it sheds light on happiness. The bottom line is all about gratitude.
Elizabeth Lesser’s TED talk, Say Your Truths and Seek Them in Others, is filled with compelling stories and great wisdom about the healing that happens — and love that grows — when we courageously speak our truth.
Leave a comment with other inspiring, creatively-relevant TED talks you love!
If you have perused my site, you have doubtless found many of my favorite quotes that relate to creativity. Because of the narrow format in the sidebars where they reside, I chose short quotes to share.
This longer one is a favorite and its message is so important.
”Oh my God, what if you wake up some day and you‘re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen."
How do you relate to this?
How can you live your biggest, juiciest life today — even in one small way?
There are new books and articles published all the time, and lots of great staples related to creativity. Here are a few of the books that connect to expanding creativity that I find myself returning to — and recommending to my clients — over and over.
The Artist’s Way
Julia Cameron
Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All
Tom Kelley and David Kelley
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Steven Pressfield
Making Art a Practice: 30 Ways to Paint a Pipe (How to Be the Artist You Are)
Cat Bennet
Paul Graham's article, How to Do What You Love, is candid and brilliant, with clear thinking about how we come to comprehend the concept as children, the traps of prestige, the impact of money, and the power of always producing. (“‘Always produce’ will discover your life’s work the way water, with the aid of gravity, finds the hole in your roof.”)
This recommended article is actually an NPR story about the way that Texas musician Bob Schneider started “The Song Game” with other musicians. It has helped all of them to beat procrastination, ward off self-criticism and create brilliantly. You can read the story but I recommend you also listen to the way it aired. You'll be inspired!
A short article with some sound tips you may appreciate is 7 Steps You Need to Take to Be Creative at Work. A companion article is 6 Ways to Be Creative Absolutely All the Time.
Another short article with some sound tips you may appreciate is 7 Steps You Need to Take to Be Creative at Work. A companion article is 6 Ways to Be Creative Absolutely All the Time.
I’d love for you to comment below and share your favorite books, as well as articles you’ve found with big, inspiring ideas about creativity.
Asking yourself good questions is a great technique for getting clear and getting real. Here are five questions I ask my clients — and that I take time to answer for myself — each time we transition to a new quarter. This practice is a great way to check in four times during the year and take stock.
Are you showing up fully and authentically? Or, are you trying to be what you think people expect you to be, or want you to be? Maybe you are afraid to show the world (or segments of the world) your true self — afraid you’ll be “too much,” unliked, or are simply uncomfortable being seen.
If your answer is less than a whole-hearted YES, think about why you may be holding back.
What to do next: If your answer was, "No," consider how you can make a small change, to show up as your true self in a particular situation. Starting with a small effort lets you test this out, and from there you can consciously bring more of yourself into all parts of your life.
This is a big one for all of us. Taking a clear-eyed look at where you may be operating based on fear lets you consciously make shifts that can have a profound impact.
Most of what we fear is not perilous, and can be overcome with clear perspective and getting support.
What to do next: If you are holding back because you are afraid to fail at something new or challenging, try taking baby steps to test the waters.
If you are afraid to speak up about something on your mind, let a trusted friend help you practice ways to express yourself and encourage you to do so.
When you take small steps, and continue taking additional steps, you will gradually build confidence. Things are rarely as scary as they seem when unexamined.
This question holds many more questions, such as:
How can I bring some boldness into my life?
How can I take steps to embark on a burning desire?
How can I lead in new ways?
What to do next: Pick one way you see that you are living small and explore at least five ideas for small steps that can open you up in new ways.Then pick one to test now.
Some of us are full of ideas, but hesitant when it comes to implementing them. Some of us habitually procrastinate. Some of us feel stuck — around a particular issue, or in general. All of these can drag us down, and often cause pressure and stress.
What to do next: If you realize that there are ways you are not taking action, this is the time to begin committing to taking small, consistent steps. Once you begin, momentum can build. And even if you hit rough patches along the way, the flow and energy you’ll experience when you commit to ongoing action will amaze you.
High achievers typically feel the need to do big, heroic things to feel worthy of celebration.
The truth is that when we acknowledge and celebrate micro-wins we have the satisfaction of accomplishment. It’s a big deal for our brains to get a boost like that. And it gives us energy to continue down the path we have set.
What to do next: Celebrate small wins like three straight days of keeping a commitment to stay in action around a particular initiative; or inviting someone to have a conversation you’ve been putting off; or (finally) asking someone for help.
You have probably noticed that small steps are the key to living more authentically, to living without fear, to shifting from keeping yourself small, to getting into flow and building momentum, and to reaping the benefits of celebrating your wins. All of these are doable if you set the bar low enough that you can clear it with ease. And when you continue to take small, doable steps, learning and adjusting as you go forward, the impact adds up dramatically.
Drop me a note, or leave a comment to share the insights that come up for you when you answer these questions. And, tell me about the small steps you are committing to taking, too.
Start taking a small step or two today, keep it going, and imagine what it will feel like to have truly moved the needle by the time the next quarter rolls around.
As you savor the last days of August, you cannot miss the changes in the air.
School has started or is about to start. (In Boston, that means college students with U-Hauls filled to the brim will soon jam the streets!) People are returning from vacations. Calendars are a lot more crowded. Traffic will soon be even worse, slowing everyone down.
And, the air will be crisp and refreshing. Energy will buzz as new projects get started. Focus always begins to get sharper as many of us consider the opportunities and possibilities for this last season of the year.
What priorities will be at the top of your list?
What will you commit to doing — differently? for the first time? with renewed energy?
Think now about how you want to feel when you look back at the final four months of the year and head into 2020.
And make a plan.
Take some time to consider the questions I posed above.
Write down your thoughts — a brain-dump is a great way to start. You’re likely to have a long list of ideas and possibilities.
Next, reflect on your notes and begin to shape what showed up. You may want to make categories for items related to work, health, relationships, personal pleasure, etc. You’ll then be able to focus on choosing your top priorities.
Remember, many good ideas will have to be put aside. If you aim to focus on too many big things you’ll be splattered! None will get the time and attention needed for you to realize significant progress.
With your top one to three focal points in mind, think about what is realistic to complete for each of them in the last four months of the year.
For instance, if you want to write a book, or renovate your kitchen, think about what can reasonably be accomplished in four months. Specificity will be key. Break down big projects or ambitions into small, doable bites.
For example, to begin a home or office renovation, you can first get clear about what's not working now and what key elements you want the finished project to include. The next step may be to collect images that appeal to you for ideas on color, style and use of space, before you reach out to meet with designers and choose a contractor.
With a framework for discrete steps, schedule time on your calendar to work on each one.
Being clear about your priorities, breaking big projects into small, doable chunks, mapping out a plan, and scheduling time for each step are all important. But that effort will only lead to solid results if you commit to taking small action, followed by more small action, week by week.
It will be easy to get sidetracked, because life happens! But when you know where you are headed and have a strong desire to reach your outcomes, it will be easier to say “No” (even to exciting possibilities) and stay on track. And it will make it easier for you to attend to the inevitable, important interruptions that will come along and get back on track.
Remember, even the best plans will need to be modified. Surprises will show up. Mistakes will happen. New ideas will emerge. In every case, evaluate the situation, correct course as needed, and keep moving forward.
Be sure to acknowledge and celebrate each small milestone as you complete pieces of your big projects. This gives your brain a jolt of pride and satisfaction. And that will make it easier to maintain continued commitment to your project.
I'll be excited to hear about the projects you choose to make your focus in the coming months, and to hear about how the work progresses. leave a comment here or drop me a note.
I’m rooting for you!
Having heard rave reviews about the film, Maiden, I was sure I would enjoy it.
I knew it was about the first all-female crew to race in the Whitbread Around the World Challenge yacht race, so I expected to be inspired. This award-winning documentary did not disappoint.
The suspense of the race was certainly riveting and the documentary was wonderfully made.
But the most remarkable part of the film was the seeing the determination and commitment of the young Tracy Edwards. She decided to embark on the audacious effort of getting funding for a suitable boat and recruiting an all-female crew — in 1989. And, having done both, she courageously lead that crew through challenges that would have crushed most of us.
Against tremendous odds, she persevered — she found a way to make all of it happen. She withstood withering ridicule from the press and her sailing peers. She coped with enormous doubts and crushing pressure. And she never gave up.
She not only showed the world it could be done — she grew in immeasurable ways. As did her fabulous crew.
Watch the trailer here. Then find a theater where it’s playing, and go to see it. Every minute of this film is worth savoring.
Each day we awake with a fundamental choice.
We can choose to go through the day much like all other days. Entrenched habits and patterns can rule us.
This leads to reacting to everything that comes along. And tolerating frustrations or relationships or jobs that drain us. And to struggling to make time for self-care, not to mention things that bring joy.
Or, you can choose a different option.
You can start each day with the energy of a creator — deliberating considering what you want to create in your life, and actively creating when you move through your days.
When you embrace yourself as a creator, you look at the way you have been living and decide what is working well and where you are frustrated — or are tolerating things that don't work well.
This is what can happen.
You can choose to make positive changes, like showing up as your authentic self, both at work and with people in your personal sphere.
You can learn to listen to your intuition — and trust it.
You can begin to live boldly, and play more, and not let fear or doubt stop you.
Learning to live this way means stepping up in new ways. It means being willing to make commitments to yourself to take action, to shift from living on auto-pilot.
And while it means being willing to step into some discomfort, it means trusting that you are capable of doing this work, and willing to ask for support. And it means you want to be accountable to staying on the path of positive change.
You can wait for certainly.
You can wait for permission.
You can wait for confidence.
You can wait for magic (sometimes in the form of someone who will come to the rescue or someone to do the work for you).
You can wait for complete clarity about what you want, or what to do next, or the exact destination.
This is your decision point. You get to choose.
This can be the day you say “Yes!” to yourself and a bigger future.
If you are ready to know more about what it can look like to become a true creator in your life, drop me a note.
We’ll schedule a time to talk — no obligation, no sales pitch. Just an opportunity for me to hear about your challenges and the dreams you have for a more fulfilled life, and for you to hear about what it takes to become the creator of that future.
I can promise that this conversation will provide you with big insights and a lot of inspiration.
Scheduling this call will be a meaningful action step.
Do you want to take it?
We all get off track from time to time. This happened to me last week. After a great (but hectic) week of business travel I returned to lead a retreat with my group coaching clients. While I loved it all, it wasn’t long before my body had had enough.
I first lost my voice, then lost energy and got achy, and I had no choice but to slow down, rest, and heal for the rest of week two.
Happily, I am now on the mend. But I am facing a big back-log of tasks.
It’s a challenge to get back in your groove when you have been knocked off course — whether by travel, illness, a family emergency, an emotional rough patch, or anything else.
If you are anything like me and the accomplished women I work with, you are an achiever. You work hard — often too hard. This is not the time to follow your impulse is to jump back in and tackle your backlog fast. You will likely sabotage yourself with that approach.
Be thoughtful as you give yourself permission to build up to your usually pace.
Ask yourself these questions:
• What can I delegate, get help with, or defer?
• What to-do's have the highest priority, that I can map on my calendar now?
• What low-hanging fruit can I batch and take care of quickly?
• How can best I communicate to those waiting for replies that I will get back to them soon?
Resist the urge to over-promise. It’s always better to set a reasonable expectation and meet it — or delivery early.
You may need to set a later wake-up alarm than usual, or skip your usual morning work-out. Or, you may find you have a productive morning and then your energy wanes. Listen to your body! Give yourself the rest, nutrition and movement that you need.
If your muscles ache, schedule a massage. If a nap will refresh you, go for it! If you are stressed, take a break and meditate, draw, or walk around the block.
Self care now, coupled with self-compassion, will pay big dividends.
You will know when you are ready to work a full day again. In most cases, careful pacing and attention to self care will help you to catch up and resume your usual routines fairly quickly.
This is a great time to reflect and reassess. Think about the balance in your life, and the intensity at which you had become accustomed to living. Maybe pushing a bit less hard is a better pace for you in the long run. Maybe you discovered some new ways to work smarter, not harder. Maybe you introduced some self-care that you want to continue and make your ”new normal.“
This challenging period can teach you a lot. Take note of your insights.
I'd love for you to share what works best for you at times like these. We can all learn from one another. Or, if you have particular questions, ask them. Leave comments below, or email me, and I can share this feedback in a future post.
Do you yearn to make a change in your life?
Do you feel stuck in a job that stresses you out, doesn't light you up anymore, or pays you well but is unsatisfying? Do you dream of starting something new? Is external change coming at you and you have an opportunity to rethink what you really want? Does the prospect of an empty nest open possibilities you want to explore?
I speak with women who ponder questions like these all the time.
And I truly relate — because that’s just where I was a decade ago. The business I’d founded and was proud to have built was no longer exciting me. I knew I was ready for something new, but had no idea what it would be or how to figure it out.
Lots of women want to make a change in their professional or personal life, but the prospect of having to change — changing outlooks, habits, getting out of your comfort zone — can be scary. And when we are afraid, we have a tendency to shrink back and cling hard to the known quantity of the status quo.
I remember thinking it would be great to magically make the perfect change happen. But I knew, as you do, that there is no fairy dust that will instantly make the situation you are currently tolerating perfect — or a magic pill that will give you the answer to what your next great career move ought to be (or the best move forward in your personal life).
That's why so many women tolerate what they say they want to change. It can feel daunting to step into the process of change, or even know how to get started.
Ask yourself these questions:
How tired am I of what I have been tolerating?
How much do I want to bring change into my life?
Do I want it enough to take a big new step — even if that means calling on myself to be bold?
In my case, I knew I was willing to initiate a change and step into the work of finding a new career direction that would excite me when I woke up every morning. (I had been longing for that missing feeling for too long!)
What about you?
When you answer these questions honestly, you’ll know if you are ready to start on the path of change.
Embarking on a big change is easiest if you have a guide to help you. This is not a good DIY project! Getting support will not only ease the anxiety this decision may bring up, it will accelerate the pace at which you will move through the process of change.
With the help of a seasoned coach, you will be in safe hands as you get clear about what you want, assess your best opportunities, and move forward.
This powerful, life-changing work will teach you so much. Anticipate it with excitement!
Even as you will be called on to look deep, and set a course that may have unexpected turns along the way, you'll have help. That help will support you when discomfort arises as you step outside of your comfort zone, rise and grow, and then face new moments that call for courage.
This process is an incredible path to growth.
This is how you make your desires your reality.
This is how you can transform your life!
I have lived this process, and am honored to guide women through it every day. I know that you can proceed with confidence when you invest in yourself and your future, as I did a decade ago.
I now live with the delight of a life that fulfills me in more ways than I ever imagined possible. I’d love to see that happen for you.
Let’s talk about the future you want to create — what’s possible for you.
Drop me a note, or leave a comment below, if you feel ready to consider initiating big and important change in your life.
There's a strange paradox I see all the time. Accomplished professional women who strive to build great careers, launch businesses, or make big shifts in their personal or professional lives often trip themselves up.
So many of these women have big ambitions, big ideas, and even big plans but can’t get things moving. Or they make a start and can’t build momentum.
Two big culprits are fear and perfectionism — and often a combination of the two. These two forces are the underlying issues that keep so many people playing it safe (tweet this).
They slow them down — or keep things from getting started at all.
Have you said these words to yourself?
You’ve been thinking, planning, and laying groundwork for something new and important. Maybe you’ve prototyped a new product, or completed rigorous training, or see the opportunity to build an awesome business. Maybe you’ve gone as far as building a new website. But the thought of actually showing it to the world or taking the next steps feels terrifying.
After all, what if it’s not good enough — or you’re not good enough? What if people won’t like it? What if you’ll be judged — by a relative, a colleague, or in the vast social media world?
Fears like these, that sit atop the perceived need for everything to be perfect, have stopped many worthy and important new things from getting off the ground.
Focusing your time and energy on more refinement or additional preparation — or holding off on taking action — may feel like a safe way to protect yourself. But this is actually a way of telling yourself, “I’m willing to stay where I am right now.”
If that’s not what you want, I’m here to tell you that you have the power to choose not to let the thoughts that drive perfectionism and fear rule you.
It may sound simple (and maybe a little odd), but when you hear thoughts like those you can talk back to them.
Start by acknowledging them. Be aware that these thoughts are your ego piping up, trying to maintain the status quo (which feels oh so comfortable).
This is your opportunity to be compassionate to that voice, but to firmly tell it you are in change and you’re running the show.
Will it feel easy to do that? Probably not. But when you want something that’s important to you, you are called on to step out of your comfort zone and bring some boldness to the matter.
And, remember that there is no such thing as “perfect.” So, share that news, too, when you respond to your fearful thoughts.
(You can read more about perfectionism and what to do about it here.)
Taking action — including some risks — is always the path to learning, growth, building confidence, and ultimately to reaching new and exciting places in your life.
Remember how many times Thomas Edison tried and failed before he created a light bulb that worked (he made 1000 attempts!). What if he had never started, or felt he needed the perfect solution right off the bat, or was so worried about how people would judge him that he did not get started, or became so discouraged along the way that he gave up?
Start with small steps and keep going — every small step counts. Stepping out of your comfort zone this way is not as hard as you might imagine. Continued action builds momentum. And you will find that action keeps fear at bay.
The foundation that will support you to implement steps one and two is actively emphasizing self-love.
If you have been following my work for a while, this concept will be familiar to you. If not — or if you want a refresher on the topic — here's an article that’s devoted to this important topic.
When you cultivate appreciation for all of your gifts, when you feel deserving of goodness in your life, and when you joyously love the amazing person you are, you will be amazed at how much easier it is to stand up to fear, ease up on perfectionism, and take action.
Drop me a note or comment below to let me know how playing it safe has been getting in your way and how these three strategies are making a difference.
And, if you think that coaching may help you to bring the important changes into your life that you desire, let’s talk. Take a few minutes and complete my Coaching Inquiry Form and I’ll be in touch to schedule a complimentary conversation.
Make this your day to step up and start creating something big in your life!
I hope your new year is off to a great start. For many, January was a time for making resolutions. If you set goals for the year, this is a good time to check in and take stock of how things are going.
If you are committed — and are taking consistent action — to the exercise you want to do more of, or the decluttering you set out to tackle, the job search you decided to initiate, or any other objective you have to make this a great year, I say, “Bravo!”
On the other hand, if you’ve struggled to get traction, take consistent action, or have had set-backs or feel discouraged, this is a great time to get back on track. There are still 11 months of the year ahead!
Here’s how to stay the course — or get back on track — as you pursue your goals and resolutions.
Love is a powerful resource that’s always available to you, and that you can turn to at any time. Curious about how love will help you meet your goals? Here's the way this works.
Love powers your life in remarkable ways when you put it into action. And to help love do its magic, I suggest you begin with a simple technique: Pay attention to the words you say to yourself.
Because the words you use have a huge impact. The actual language of your thoughts matters!
We tend to be incredibly hard on ourselves when we feel we are falling short in some way. If someone walked up to you and said, “What a loser! I can’t believe you didn’t make it to yoga class today!“ how would you feel? That would be harsh and mean, right?
If you’d be unhappy to hear that from someone else, why would you use a similarly negative tone when thinking to yourself? Instead, consider loving ways to speak to yourself.
Loving self-talk about something that feels discouraging might sound like this: “Okay, you missed the yoga class today. Why not register now for the next one, and clear space on the calendar to be sure to get there? It will feel wonderful to spend that hour with a great teacher and so many lovely people! And, it will make the rest of the day so much more pleasant.”
Speaking to yourself with love will come naturally when you cultivate self-love in many ways. The idea is to stop being accusatory. Stop putting yourself down. Start treating yourself tenderly, like the deserving person you are.
Look at yourself in the mirror for a minute or two after you’ve washed your face each evening. Smile. Place a hand on your heart and say a few loving words to yourself. Yes, it will likely feel awkward, but if you do this every day for a week or two, it will get easier. Keep going! You’ll start to notice a shift in your self-talk throughout each day.
Closely watch the words you choose in your thoughts about yourself. Do not label yourself in ways you would find unacceptable by others. Be positive, supportive, and encouraging — just as you would with someone special in your life. Reflect on the language you use and the circumstances when you give yourself the messages that most touch your heart, and find opportunities to do more of that.
Treat yourself to small moments of delight — like time to sit and simply breath quietly for two minutes. Or take a break to walk in the fresh air. Or soak in a bubble bath. Or take a few extra minutes to savor the taste of your meal in quiet, rather than multitasking. As you take time for yourself, remind yourself of your talents and all the great things you do in the world. You might even want to start a self-love journal, where you can make a note each day of several ways that you are special. (Keep it handy and refer to it whenever you feel discouraged!)
While everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day as a single day for love, you can choose to fill your heart with love, and fill your thoughts with loving words about and to yourself, every day. This self-love will be an enormous help as you pursue the goals and dreams that deeply matter to you.
And, there’s a bonus: The more fully you love yourself, the more love you will have for others in your life!
Now that we’re a week into January, the holidays are behind us and a big, promising new year is stretched out ahead. Lots of women I speak to find themselves asking how they can make this the great year they yearn for.
Rather than make some quick resolutions — that even with great intentions are hard to sustain — they wonder what they can do to make this their best year ever. They ask what key actions they can take that will have impact. They wonder how to get started. And they are concerned about how can they sustain momentum.
If you relate — if you want to be more aware and awake in your life so you stop drifting and start making the changes you want — try these suggestions:
It may sound simple, but when you take the time to thoughtfully choose a word to guide you for the year ahead, amazing things happen.
Last year I wrote about my process for choosing a word that embodies layers of meaning and really nails it for where you are in your life right now. I offer instructions that you can easily follow, as well as examples to inspire you. Here's how you can pick your powerful word for this year.
We all wish there were magical ways to make change fast. And we all know that in order to make important changes — and for them to stick — time and commitment are required. When you acknowledge and accept that the changes you want to realize — everything from weight loss or better health, to a more harmonious relationship, to a less chaotic pace of living, to having more satisfaction at work — will take time and focus to shift, you will be able to take the small, deliberate, consistent steps each day that will add up to big change over time.
When you have a clear word for your year and you are ready to take small, consistent action in your life to live guided by your word, you will quickly realize that you must do less to be able to bring attention and focus to what really matters.
This one is tough for many women who consider themselves accomplished multitaskers, get excited about new ideas all the time, and/or recognize that they tend to be people-pleasers.
The truth is that we all have limited time and limited energy. This is the perfect time to start saying “no” to things that spread you too thin or are not in alignment with your priorities. This may feel uncomfortable, but you do not need to apologize when you say “no.” You can simply say that you have other commitments and thus are not able to help with... do... take on... etc. Give it a try. With practice you can get comfortable with it, and you'll find that saying “no” will open important space for you to focus on what matters most.
When doubt shows up, look back at last year and notice the times that you tried something new, were able to find courage when you needed it, or handled a challenge. Acknowledge things you learned and impact you made. All of these reminders will bolster your confidence when you need it.
Having selected a word of the year to guide you, and preparing yourself for the time and patience needed to make meaningful change, then opening space in your life by saying “no,” and bolstering your confidence for stepping up in new ways, you will be ready for the last key step — making a commitment to take consistent action
Taking action and sustaining the commitment to continue to do so — even when you hit places of feeling discouraged or sagging motivation or lack of confidence — is the biggest challenge. It’s easy to get fired up at the start of the year. (Think about the crowds at yoga classes and gyms in January and February that thin out by March!)
The beauty of selecting a word of the year that embodies what you want for yourself this year is that you can more easily stay committed to living into it — even at the times you struggle. After all, that’s the meaning of commitment!
If you are, you will be able to look back at this current year a year from now and smile at what you created in your life!
Remember that getting support will make it easier for you to stay committed to the change you want to make, the growth you desire. Ask someone to be an accountability buddy. Attend workshops that will enlighten and inspire you. Join a group coaching program or reach out for one-on-one coaching support.
I am eager to hear about how you have selected a guiding word. Share your word in the comments below, or email me to let me know. And let me know why you chose it, and how you are stepping into making this the year that you are envisioning today.
My word for this year?
This year I chose DEPTH.
I intend to go deeper in my work with clients, my writing, and my painting. This demands that I get more support in my business, that I say “no” more often, and that I remain mindful of my intentions and honor them. I have already begun living into my word and it feels great!
I wish you a big new year — one of growth, commitment, accomplishment and joy.
If you’re looking for another way to change your year, you can consider having a coach to support you to get clear about the life and work questions on your mind — to live the big life you long for — so that you can set clear objectives and get help to step into your future with intention and commitment. If that’s something you want to explore, I welcome you to set up an Introductory Coaching Call with me. There’s no cost or obligation for us to meet. Simply complete the Coaching Inquiry Form and I’ll be in touch to make a date with you.
Most of us are super busy during the holiday season — getting ready, traveling, celebrating in all sorts of ways. There’s lots of emotion in the air (and often a mix of emotions).
Happily, we get a short respite between Christmas and the start of the new year.
I treasure this space. With festivities behind us and so many people on holiday, things get quiet. I find this to be a perfect time for reflection.
Reflection is something most people never get to doing. Life is always hectic! But when you make time to slow down and look back great things happen.
Meaningful reflection requires time and space. You must slow down and get quiet, and that in itself is an important gift you can give yourself.
Taking time to reflect enables you to gain perspective. Rather than drifting from day to day and week to week until a year has sped by without any insight, when you create focused, quiet time you can see so much! With thought and attention, you can consider what worked in your life, and appreciate yourself and celebrate your accomplishments. You can also spot the patterns or habits that kept you stuck.
The insights gleaned from reflection afford you tremendous opportunities for moving into your future. This is a time to consider what you want to build on, as well as what you want to do less of — or stop doing altogether. Consider the qualities you need to cultivate or nurture to live your best life. Start to consider the goals you want to set, and how you can reach them.
Why not create a special ritual for this process? You might even want to begin an annual tradition of reflecting. Here are some ideas to consider:
Set aside some time for yourself at a particular time of day and find a place you like — a cozy nook, in front of a fire, a special chair — to settle into.
You might want to ask someone to be a partner. Sitting together, you can do some thinking and writing, and then share your insights and ideas with one another.
Designating a lovely journal for reflecting can make this a more special experience. And the journal can also be your place to note reflections at regular intervals during the year. (You might reflect monthly or at the start of each new season.) Your periodic reflections will help you stay clear and aware as you move through the year.
You can approach the process of reflecting in a range of interesting ways. One possibility for getting started is go through your calendar and review the entries for each month, then note insights that come to mind.
Another approach is to create lists as your jumping off point. Try noting your top 10 highlights of the year or top 10 lessons learned or the 10 most important things you want to stop doing in the future. Next, jot down WHY each thing is on your list, and what you learned related to the entry. Before long, you’ll have a rich array of insights.
I would love to hear about how you reflect on the year that’s winding down, and what your big aha’s and take-aways are. Leave a comment here, or email me.
I would be happy to hear from you if you want to talk about how coaching can support you to live with clarity, intention, and commitment this year. I welcome you to get in touch to talk with me about how I can help.
I wish you and yours a New Year of living big!
With the US Thanksgiving holiday just days away, I am thinking about all the goodness for which I am deeply grateful, and I expect that you are, too.
One thing I am endlessly grateful for is the resource of creativity that is available to me and the opportunity to bring it into my life in every situation. So I’m thinking about new ways I can express my gratitude — as well as how I can inspitre the people around me to do that in fresh ways.
They may serve as a jumping off point for you to create your own new ways to inspire and share thanks.
1. Set aside time to write a short note of appreciation for everyone at your Thanksgiving table. You can hand a note to each person in turn, or use the addressed envelopes as place cards on the table. And, if you’re filled with appreciation for people who live at a distance, mail them notes, too.
2. Plan something special to say as you sit down to the Thanksgiving meal. It could be a new spin on saying grace, or a statement of love, or a vision of the abundance you foresee in the year ahead, for which to give thanks in advance.
3. I love the idea of creating a new tradition for everyone at your gathering. You can plan to bring a dash of surprising humor to the day, and plan to repeat that each year. Perhaps you’ll hand off the honor to someone for next year, to build a new tradition. You might add one new ethnic dish to the table each year. You might have everyone share a statement of gratitude starting with the oldest person and moving to the youngest. The possibilities are endless.
4. Why not go around the table and ask everyone to recall and share a Thanksgiving memory? Or, you might invite everyone to bring a special dish from a Thanksgiving menu of the past that they recall with fondness.
5. You may want to bring a new look to your Thanksgiving. You might choose a color theme for your table settings. and even the choices of foods you serve. Before dinner, you might ask everyone to create a small drawing related to the holiday to adorn each place at the table.
If you create other ideas, or if you try any of these ideas and want to share them, I would love to hear about the ways you bring creativity — and new ways to share love — to Thanksgiving this year. Add a comment below or email me directly.
I wish you and yours a Thanksgiving holiday filled with gratitude, love, joy and creativity.
With love,
Rochelle
I often talk to people in the fall, as they think about the year winding down and reflect on the big ideas they had back in January. So many women were sure about what they wanted and felt fired up to go for it 10 months ago.
Some wanted a new job, or to go for a big promotion.
Some say they were ready to find love.
Some wanted more harmony in close relationships.
Some yearned for more excitement in their lives.
Some wanted to lose weight.
Some wanted to grow their businesses, or shift the focus of their business.
Some knew they were holding back and wanted to show up more authentically and boldly.
Some were starved for more self-care and time for themselves.
Some yearned to have a bigger impact.
For all the determination and enthusiasm they felt at the beginning of the year, time after time I see the same thing: lots of excitement and talk early on, but little change or progress over time. Many of these women tell me about how hard they’ve tried, but that their attempts didn’t lead to the big results they were after.
Some will say that when it came down to taking serious action, they couldn’t really get started, or couldn’t build momentum, or they were unable to sustain their efforts.
What inevitably follows? Discouragement, frustration, regret, self-recrimination, self-doubt, or a toxic combination of these negative emotions. Many feel stuck. Some will say their luck was bad. Some say that external factors or dynamics were working against them. They feel like victims of circumstance.
The ambitions they started with often weigh on them now. Many resign themselves to the status quo.
Why are scenarios like this so common?
Even the most accomplished women can find themselves in a bind like this. Even when they’ve excelled professionally, they get stuck when pursuing personal ambitions or making progress toward bold new professional goals.
So, you ask, what’s the path forward?
I wish I could tell you there’s a magical, easy way to achieve what you had set your mind to back at the start of 2018 (or maybe years ago). But you’re too smart to believe that there’s a quick fix for making important and lasting change.
When you have a goal in mind for something you really want, it needs a strong foundation. Think about the reason why you want to accomplish it, create it, or make that change in your life. Maybe it’s something you are unwilling to tolerate any longer. Maybe you have a picture in mind about something in the future that will be different if you do this. The how is always easier when you know why something is meaningful. And, getting clear about the why at the start will make it easier to stay committed to the effort required to achieve your goal.
Trying to achieve an important change in your life requires you to be willing to set clear intentions, willing to focus on the work to be done, willing to put in effort — and willing to sustain that effort, even when you fall short or experience set-backs along the way.
To take serious steps to make an important change or make a big ambition your reality, you need to believe in yourself. You must believe — in your bones — that you matter, and that you deserve the outcome. You must also believe that you can be what’s required to accomplish your goal — such being strong, or flexible, or resourceful, or committed, or confident, or resilient, or brave, to name some examples — which is the basis for believing that you really can create the future you want.
Commitment is the key to stepping into the effort and seeing it through. This is where the proverbial rubber hits the road!
As I said, many of us start the year with big ideas and enthusiasm, but never take more than a first step, or are unable to sustain the effort that’s required. When you bring commitment to the effort, you get into motion and can keep going — especially when you run into a rough patch, or your confidence flags, or you experience a setback, or you feel unsure of your next step.
When you are committed, you take the endeavor seriously. You schedule blocks on your calendar for the time and effort that are needed to make steady progress. You work to create new habits. You reach out for help. You stick with your plan, small step by small step, and keep moving forward even when it isn’t easy. Commitment and consistent action help you to gain momentum and are the keys to sustaining your efforts.
Lots of people go it alone — at least at first — as they attempt to bring important changes into their lives. That works for some people. But I have personally experienced, and seen with my clients time and again, that getting expert support and guidance makes a huge difference.
Not only are goals reached, but they are reached more quickly and with less struggle when you have the loving support of a skilled coach. When you hit the (inevitable) places that struggle or discouragement show up, or you experience confusion about next steps, you have someone to turn to who helps you get back on track.
And, accountability is one of the big benefits of reaching out for support. It’s human nature to let yourself slide or stall unless someone is holding you to your commitments. A coach with whom you work on a regular basis can gently but firmly support you to stay in integrity with your commitments and keep moving forward.
If you are looking for help to finish 2018 with clarity and insight — so that you’ll have a running start for the new year — I welcome you to reach out and contact me. We can schedule a time to talk about the deep work I do with private coaching clients, or if an upcoming group coaching program would be a good way for you to get support and accountability in the company of an intimate and committed group of women. Either approach will help you to get clear, make and keep big commitments, and take big steps to realizing your dreams.
How would it feel to be living that life at this time next year?
The last week has been intense, stressful and even overwhelming for many women (and men). I put aside the topic I had planned to write about today because I feel a pressing need to address the flood of emotion that so many are struggling with — friends, family members, clients, and my own troubling emotions.
If you have a different political orientation, and feel happy with the current state of affairs in our country, I welcome you to stop reading now.
But if, like me, you have been distressed by the political climate and you feel that hope is hard to hold onto, you are not alone. We have witnessed deeply disturbing changes put in place that impact our health and environment, damaging changes to educational and our justice system, policies that are cruel and inhumane, and unspeakable omissions such as withholding standard levels of support for everything from health insurance to help for those hit by devesting hurricanes.
And then we watched the events of the last week unfold.
A brave, articulate, remarkable, composed and credible victim of sexual assault came forward with important testimony. A nominee for a seat on the highest court in this country, for a lifetime appointment, was frighteningly partisan, shockingly emotional, and seemingly untruthful. The sham of a limited investigation gave cover to lawmakers to approve the nominee, despite the outpouring of cries not to do so from scores of women who have suffered sexual assault, scores of prominent lawyers and academics, the editorial boards of the most respected news organizations, and countless citizens.
It has felt for many that this is a new and especially frightening low, one that surpasses many points where we thought things could surely not get worse.
Which brings me to address our collective state of mind, and how we can live and move forward in such troubling times.
We have been bullied, and bullies want to silence us.
They want us to cower and hide.
I urge you to resist the temptation to go fetal, or simply wring your hands with other like-minded people, or numb yourself to all the distress.
Here are some of the tenets of my manifesto for living a creative life that are top of mind for me today, and that you may want to consider.
In quiet we can honor ourselves and have time to feel our emotions. And, we can collect our thoughts. This is important self-care that provides a foundation for taking action.
Fear paralyzes, which is why it’s used by powerful people to quiet those they don’t want to hear from. Two sure antidotes to fear are love and action. Start by surrounding yourself with people you love, who fill your heart with good, positive energy, and who you can shower with love.
Filled with this positive energy you will think more clearly and be able to consider the actions that you can take to influence the situation in positive ways. In this circumstance, you can actively work to get like-minded people out to vote in great numbers. You can send financial support to candidates and causes you are aligned with. You can show up at rallies and be counted among the masses who will not be cowed.
Your passion connects you to your heart, your beliefs and your values. Let these guide you each day, and they will serve you well.
Being bold requires that you think big. When you are bold you speak your mind. You show up to support the causes that matter to you, and encourage others with shared sentiments to do the same.
We all have the capacity to create our futures, rather than resigning ourselves to being passive, or worse yet, victims. When we adopt the mindset of a creator, life is full of vast possibilities, and we can be agents of change. Creativity can resolve confusion and inspire effective action. Test it and see what happens. Then keep reminding yourself that you are a creator until it is embedded in your thinking.
The challenges we face are huge, and there are few quick fixes for the changes that are needed. We must be patient and diligent as we work to turn the tide on so many fronts.
As we work as individuals and together to create a better future, new challenges will show up. Setbacks are inevitable. These will test us. We must live with intention and return to the themes discussed above as needed. We can and must maintain our commitment and persevere.
Our nation has rebounded from other dark periods, and often come out of them stronger than before. It’s by standing together and staying committed that we will turn the tide and restore justice, decency and honor, to live up to the true values of our nation. We have been the light of the world and we can be that light again.
I invite you to join me in voting in the coming election, in working to get all committed citizens to the polls, in supporting candidates with values worthy of our respect, and to staying the course for the big work that lies ahead for all of us.
I'm taking a brief break in my series about how my clients are stepping up in their lives in big ways. Stay tuned for the second great story, that will arrive soon.
Right now I am thinking about this being the last week of August, and that we'll be celebrating Labor Day weekend in a few days. I'm tickled to see photos of cute kids with their backpacks leaving for the first day of school. And, I'm hearing stories from excited parents who just moved their teens into college dorms. A number of colleagues are savoring this last week when many of their clients are on vacation, as they get ready for a busier fall pace.
Even in the sweltering heat, we all feel change of one kind or another is coming. I, for one, am always excited about the new beginnings that fall brings.
How will you navigate this seasonal transition? Are you excited like I am? Does this time of year bring up anxiety (which is very common)? Do you feel overwhelmed at the number of to-do's filling your list, or are you ready to jump into the the new month and new season with enthusiasm?
Whether your schedule opens up with your kids back in school or your calendar gets more crowded, think about the ways you can start anew. This is a great time to look at your opportunities and obligations with fresh eyes.
What do you really want to say "yes" to, and what do you want to decline? What priorities can you choose and what can you defer — or delegate to others? Give yourself permission to create new ways of operating as you step into the new season.
We often overlook all that we can appreciate and savor. Start with tuning in through your senses.
This is a time to enjoy the feel of crisp weather and brisk walks. As you pull out a favorite sweater and put on soft socks and a pair of boots, savor the coziness.
New produce will soon show up in the markets that will bring great possibilities for what to cook, and new flavors to enjoy.
Color will abound as the tress put on their annual show.
What are your favorite sounds of the season? Kids giggling at your door on Halloween?
What are the smells that excite you in the fall? For me it's logs burning in my fireplace and vegetables roasting in the oven.
The new season can be a time for new learning and experiences. You have opportunities to try new things, to explore, and to expand in many ways that will excite and inspire you.
Will you take a class? Join a book club? Attend a workshop? Reach out to connect with people who share common interests? Take a day trip to a place you’ve been wanting to visit? Go to a museum or the theater to see something provocative?
Let me know the ways you plan to create a mindset for expansion and growth as the summer winds down. I'd love to hear your favorite ways to approach the fall season, so post them in the comments below, or email me to share them. And, if you have questions about shifting into a positive mindset, I welcome you to get in touch.
And, if you're in the Boston area, check out the workshop offerings I have on tap for this fall. They may be just what you’re looking for!
After a powerful session with the women in my 4-month group coaching program, I reflected and realized how far each of them has come in the work. We are 3 months in, and while each woman has had a different focus for the work she’s doing in her life, each is courageously stepping up in ways that are impressive. They are all saying “YES” to their lives.
Observing their great work inspired me to share stories about what it has meant for these women to move beyond their comfort zones — which each of them has been doing.
What does it take to make bold moves?
How do you get started?
How do you stay on track, even when challenges arise?
Here is the first story in a series that I want to share with you.
Creating a long-range goal that entails stepping up to do something new — and something that’s outside of the space you operate in successfully and feel comfortable with today — requires courage.
When you have a big "Why" for something you really want to go for, you can more easily create a big goal.
My client has a vision for work she wants to do in five years. Is it a stretch? Yes. Is it important to her for a number of fundamental reasons? Yes. Knowing why it means so much to her helped her to get clear about what it will take to make it a reality and commit to moving ahead.
Taking early steps was not so hard for this motivated woman. She reached out for coaching support. She used her network to meet with other women who had succeeded in doing what she wants to do and got their advice. She’s been doing research into this new kind of work and what it takes to get it. She joined a group of other women on this path in order to get education from the program and support from peers.
After getting the ball rolling, she hit a snag. It was time to begin creating a document to use to pursue this new work and a host of self-critics showed up.
First, the Impostor Syndrome came calling and asked: who is she to go for such a big opportunity? It reminded her that she does not have all of the typical expertise that is often sought after. And, Perfectionism showed up to impede her. She doubted that her efforts would be “good enough." These, in turn, invited Procrastination to join the party. Weeks went by without a single word written.
Coaching provided an antidote to the trio of self-critics. The first thing we addressed was helping her to believe that the distinctive expertise she has to offer is, in fact, important to many forward-looking organizations. An article in a respected business publication confirmed that fact. She was then able to acknowledge and own her expertise and ease up on the grip of the Imposter Syndrome.
Perfectionism and Procrastination were shooed away by her making a commitment to write a really bad first rough draft of her document. After that she knows she can trust herself to edit it and get input from others to polish and refine the work.
This woman is now fully on track to moving into a bigger future, knowing how she will be able to move through each phase of the process she is mapping out. And, the lessons she is learning and skills she is building as she pursues this big goal are helping her in her current work, as well as having a positive impact on her personal life.
Will she run into other challenges of confidence or resistance? Will fear show up as she moves ahead? Undoubtedly.
But, having a strong system in place to get the support and advice she needs will keep her moving forward. As well, she knows that these resources will accelerate her progress compared to going it alone.
I welcome you to comment below or email me and let me know about the big dreams you have, and how you are pursuing them — or, if you’re playing it safe but yearn to say “Yes!” to your life in new ways. What are your questions about getting started?
And, if you are curious to learn about private coaching, or the impact of my group coaching programs (I’m launching a new group program this fall), click on over to inquire about coaching. When you complete and submit the Coaching Inquiry Form, I’ll be in touch to make a date with you.
