This is the time to get choosey

Have you started the year with lots of ideas and excitement? Have you set goals, made resolutions, and maybe chosen a word of the year for yourself — feeling determined to fully stick to your intentions this year?

That’s great — because most people chose to live the same year over and over. So, you’ve made a terrific start!

But even when you have focused on your goal, or resolution, or guiding word, once you get moving to making it real things tend to expand. 

When you want to really live into your word for the year, many ideas come to mind. When you get serious about your resolution or goal, many options and possibilities appear for ways to move forward.

And, it's easy to get overwhelmed. 

It’s also easy to get splattered, and do a bit of this and a bit of that until frustration sets in, because you don’t feel you’re making real headway.

And that’s the point at which lots of wonderful intentions fall by the wayside.

The secret to avoiding the typical loss of motivation is to narrow your focus.

That’s right — it’s time to get very choosey about what you make your focus and how you go after it. Because trying to tackle too much at the same time puts you at risk of failing to do the thing you really want.

For example, if your word for 2020 is Expand, there are many possible ways to bring expansion into your life. Where can you focus now, so you feel you expand in the way that is most meaningful for you? 

Will you expand your networking efforts to build new relationships? Will you expand your business model to include new services? Will you expand your knowledge and take a course? Will you expand your cultural experiences by going to lots of concerts and museums? 

While all of these may be calling out for top billing, each will entail a lot of energy, time and attention. By choosing the focal point that is most important to you now, you will make significant progress and your excitement about the results will carry you into the next area you make your focus as you move through the year. (Or, you may decide to table some of your early ideas, to go deeper and make the most of the ones you started with.)

Here’s another example. Perhaps you resolved to get more organized and you are thinking about all the clutter in your house. The kitchen pantry, your closets, the overflowing attic, and more may all need attention. The key is to get focused and start start small! Tackle one small part of the one room you most want to declutter. It may be a messy drawer you are tired of tolerating, or the corner of one room. You will feel great about the impact and more energized to continue.

And, if you do find you’ve lost momentum — hey, you are human — take a look at what you have chosen and decide if that’s the focus you want to get back to. If so, start anew, maybe with a shift in approach. Or, if there’s something else that may be more satisfying, realize you may not have hit on the perfect choice right away. Start fresh and get back into taking action.

Right now, I am choosing to focus on a powerful launch for my book, Live Big. There are many other ways I intend to live into the idea of Powerful — my word of the year for 2020 — but having one clear way to live into it now is incredibly satisfying. (I will be able to announce the launch date soon!)

Leave a comment and let me know what your big theme or goal or resolution is for 2020, and how you are choosing to narrow your focus to start.

And, if I can help you to live your biggest life this year, drop me an email and we can make a date for a conversation to talk about what’s getting in the way for you, and the path to making your dream a reality. 

Let love be your secret power

I hope your new year is off to a great start. For many, January was a time for making resolutions. If you set goals for the year, this is a good time to check in and take stock of how things are going.

If you are committed — and are taking consistent action — to the exercise you want to do more of, or the decluttering you set out to tackle, the job search you decided to initiate, or any other objective you have to make this a great year, I say, “Bravo!”

On the other hand, if you’ve struggled to get traction, take consistent action, or have had set-backs or feel discouraged, this is a great time to get back on track. There are still 11 months of the year ahead!

Here’s how to stay the course — or get back on track — as you pursue your goals and resolutions.

Leverage love!

Love is a powerful resource that’s always available to you, and that you can turn to at any time. Curious about how love will help you meet your goals? Here's the way this works.

Love powers your life in remarkable ways when you put it into action. And to help love do its magic, I suggest you begin with a simple technique: Pay attention to the words you say to yourself.

Because the words you use have a huge impact. The actual language of your thoughts matters!

It’s time to start speaking to yourself with love.

We tend to be incredibly hard on ourselves when we feel we are falling short in some way. If someone walked up to you and said, “What a loser! I can’t believe you didn’t make it to yoga class today!“ how would you feel? That would be harsh and mean, right? 

If you’d be unhappy to hear that from someone else, why would you use a similarly negative tone when thinking to yourself? Instead, consider loving ways to speak to yourself.

Loving self-talk about something that feels discouraging might sound like this: “Okay, you missed the yoga class today. Why not register now for the next one, and clear space on the calendar to be sure to get there? It will feel wonderful to spend that hour with a great teacher and so many lovely people! And, it will make the rest of the day so much more pleasant.”

Speaking to yourself with love will come naturally when you cultivate self-love in many ways. The idea is to stop being accusatory. Stop putting yourself down. Start treating yourself tenderly, like the deserving person you are.

Try these 3 easy ways to practice self-love and bring more loving self-talk into your life.

1. Look at yourself in the mirror for a minute or two after you’ve washed your face each evening. Smile. Place a hand on your heart and say a few loving words to yourself. Yes, it will likely feel awkward, but if you do this every day for a week or two, it will get easier. Keep going! You’ll start to notice a shift in your self-talk throughout each day.

2. Closely watch the words you choose in your thoughts about yourself. Do not label yourself in ways you would find unacceptable by others. Be positive, supportive, and encouraging — just as you would with someone special in your life. Reflect on the language you use and the circumstances when you give yourself the messages that most touch your heart, and find opportunities to do more of that.

3. Treat yourself to small moments of delight — like time to sit and simply breath quietly for two minutes. Or take a break to walk in the fresh air. Or soak in a bubble bath. Or take a few extra minutes to savor the taste of your meal in quiet, rather than multitasking. As you take time for yourself, remind yourself of your talents and all the great things you do in the world. You might even want to start a self-love journal, where you can make a note each day of several ways that you are special. (Keep it handy and refer to it whenever you feel discouraged!)

While everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day as a single day for love, you can choose to fill your heart with love, and fill your thoughts with loving words about and to yourself, every day. This self-love will be an enormous help as you pursue the goals and dreams that deeply matter to you. 

And, there’s a bonus: The more fully you love yourself, the more love you will have for others in your life!