How to be a positive thinker (really!)

Thinking — it’s something we do all day, every day. And most of us rarely pause to consider the impact of what we think about.

I invite you to take a pause with me now.

Consider that, with awareness, your thoughts can become a super-power in your life.

The power of positivity

When you consciously focus on positive things (such as things you desire, new ideas and possibilities that excite you, or anything else that lights you up) and hold your focus on what’s possible and great outcomes, wonderful things happen.

Many of us start thinking about something that excites us and quickly shift to thinking about all the reasons it will be impractical, or hard to achieve, or we conjure a host of possible obstacles.

With intention, you can choose to stay with, or return to, the energy that excited you to begin with.

Not only will your positive thoughts keep you focused on taking action toward your desired outcomes, the energy you exude will impact everyone around you in great ways.

Your positivity and enthusiasm will naturally excite others, and it will attract people to support you.

Positive thoughts lead to positive energy, and that energy can be sustained and expand, even as you navigate challenges along the way.

How to avoid the pitfalls of worry, fear and doubt

Try these strategies whenever you struggle to think positive thoughts.

1. Turn around negative emotions

When you trust yourself and follow your heart, it is easier to connect to positive energy than you may think.

That said, we all have times when we feel low — we are human!

When that happens, you may want to wallow there, or you may want to ignore the feelings.

Instead, get quiet and sit with the emotion. Feel it. And from there you can “exercise” that emotion to transform it.

How?

Create with it!

For example, you might write out your feelings of sadness in a poem, or make a picture that expresses your frustration or confusion. You can dig in a garden, or dance to loud music, or hammer away in a workshop to release anger. Approaches like these help you to get the emotion offloaded from your thoughts and help you to feel lighter. From that place you can calmly refocus on the positive.

2. Tune out negativity around you

We sometimes find ourselves in the company of people who are filled with negative energy. It’s easy to be drawn into that unhappiness, anger, anxiety, or fear.

With awareness, you can keep from falling into the trap of absorbing negative contagions.

Start by finding a quiet place to sit and breathe in silence. When you focus on the present moment and your breath, you can separate yourself from the negative energy. If you breathe this way for as little as two minutes — or longer if possible — you will feel a shift. Or, you may want to sit and listen to a guided meditation, or walk in a quiet beautiful place. Any of these will help you find peace.

After that recentering, you can make a choice. Maybe you will not return to the conversation, or choose not to be in proximity to the person or group that was filled with negativity. Maybe you will return, but will state your point of view and declare that that you will bring a positive frame to discussing the situation.

Knowing how to get back to center will enable to start thinking positively, and choose the way you want to take action.

3. Adopt an abundant mindset

Rather than waiting to respond to negativity, you can preempt much of it when you embrace an abundant mindset.

How to begin?

Try incorporating one or more of these approaches in your day-to-day life:

• Focus on appreciation and gratitude. When you tune in to all there is to appreciate in your life, every day can automatically be filled with thoughts of gratitude.

• Choose to be generous. Be generous with your time. Be generous with your thoughts — yes, you can look for the best in people, realizing most people are doing the best they can. Be generous with money. Be generous with expressions of appreciation to others.

• Welcome abundance. This means feeling deserving and being ready and open to receiving more love, more income, more happiness, more kindness.

• Be curious. Ask yourself questions like, “What if it's possible that...?” and “What can I create now?” No matter the circumstances, you can always think creatively and create your next best, most positive step forward.

• Reframe. There is nearly always a way to reframe a less-than-optimal situation. Ask yourself how you might see it with fresh eyes to find the positive — or how you might find a way to turn things around.

An abundant mindset is a huge asset we can all cultivate.

Why not shift your thoughts today?

There’s no time like the present to consider how much your thoughts are focused on the positive, and to pay attention to when your thoughts dwell on the negative. And no time like now to choose the way that most appeals to you to build or expand an abundant mindset.

With ongoing awareness and practice, you will quickly realize any time your thoughts sink into negativity, and you can refer to these suggestions to shift your focus back to the positive.

Like any change you want to bring into your life, developing a habit of being a positive thinker will take practice. You may want to pick out a small journal to keep on hand and make notes to track how things are going as you focus on this new approach to your thoughts. It will help you to more quickly make positive thinking an automatic way of living.

This superpower is free for you to cultivate. Please let me know how it works for you!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Why to watch your words

The words we use have more power than most of us realize. It’s interesting that we typically pay more attention to how we communicate with others than how we speak to ourselves.

When you consider how you speak to yourself, you may be surprised at what you notice and surprised at the big impact this awareness can have.

Two kinds of self-talk to watch out for

The messages you send yourself

Self-talk is that chatter in your head, that most of don’t pay much attention to. It can often take the form of doubt, as in, “You can’t do that,” or, “Why even try?” It can sound like, “Who do you think you are?” 

And negative self-talk often includes a multitude of “shoulds.” How many time a day do you tell yourself, “I should... ”? 

A  variation of a “should” statement is one like, “Everyone expects that I will...”

These may show up so frequently that they feel “normal.” But this self-talk is insidious. 

Can you notice when thoughts like these crop up? Awareness is a key first step to shifting to new, more self-compassionate, more positive ways of thinking.

The way you send yourself signals

When you want to change a habit, or do something new and differently, you may be inadvertently making it harder on yourself because of the words you use.

Here’s an example: 

If you want to get more exercise, you might say, “I’m trying to get to the gym more often.” If you change that statement to, ”I go to the gym twice a week,” you declare something clearly, and signal yourself specifically. This small change will have a big impact.

Another way new signals can work for you is when things are a struggle. If you think, “I just can’t stop eating sugar,” try this instead: “I am cutting back day by day, but haven’t been able to cut all sugar from my diet yet.”

Adding the word “yet” gives your subconscious mind an important signal. You won’t feel defeated, and are thus likely to continue your efforts and feel more motivated. You will gently encourage yourself that this is a process and you are making progress.

Change starts with awareness

Spend the day with a bit of observation about your self-talk. You may want to keep some notes about the messages you are sending yourself, and how you are choosing your words.

Are you sending negative messages or encouraging, loving messages to yourself?

Do you see any patterns in your self-talk observations?  

Where do you have opportunities to make small adjustments that will lead to better outcomes?

All of the messages you send yourself are important. Your words have power. As you speak to yourself with more care and intention, your life will begin changing in beautiful ways. 

Leave a comment to let me know what you observe, and the impact of your awareness.

And, if having support to help you make small changes — that are key to making bigger changes in your life — feels like a smart step as you are thinking about what’s next, or if you feel stuck, or you are facing a big transition, let’s make a date to talk about how private Creative Core Coaching might be a life-changing resource for you. 

I have just opened two spots for one-on-one coaching. And with all of the activity that’s been developing around my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, I don’t know when I will be taking on new private clients after this. 

If you are ready to take a serious step to start living the big life you know is possible, it can start here.

Let love be your secret power

I hope your new year is off to a great start. For many, January was a time for making resolutions. If you set goals for the year, this is a good time to check in and take stock of how things are going.

If you are committed — and are taking consistent action — to the exercise you want to do more of, or the decluttering you set out to tackle, the job search you decided to initiate, or any other objective you have to make this a great year, I say, “Bravo!”

On the other hand, if you’ve struggled to get traction, take consistent action, or have had set-backs or feel discouraged, this is a great time to get back on track. There are still 11 months of the year ahead!

Here’s how to stay the course — or get back on track — as you pursue your goals and resolutions.

Leverage love!

Love is a powerful resource that’s always available to you, and that you can turn to at any time. Curious about how love will help you meet your goals? Here's the way this works.

Love powers your life in remarkable ways when you put it into action. And to help love do its magic, I suggest you begin with a simple technique: Pay attention to the words you say to yourself.

Because the words you use have a huge impact. The actual language of your thoughts matters!

It’s time to start speaking to yourself with love.

We tend to be incredibly hard on ourselves when we feel we are falling short in some way. If someone walked up to you and said, “What a loser! I can’t believe you didn’t make it to yoga class today!“ how would you feel? That would be harsh and mean, right? 

If you’d be unhappy to hear that from someone else, why would you use a similarly negative tone when thinking to yourself? Instead, consider loving ways to speak to yourself.

Loving self-talk about something that feels discouraging might sound like this: “Okay, you missed the yoga class today. Why not register now for the next one, and clear space on the calendar to be sure to get there? It will feel wonderful to spend that hour with a great teacher and so many lovely people! And, it will make the rest of the day so much more pleasant.”

Speaking to yourself with love will come naturally when you cultivate self-love in many ways. The idea is to stop being accusatory. Stop putting yourself down. Start treating yourself tenderly, like the deserving person you are.

Try these 3 easy ways to practice self-love and bring more loving self-talk into your life.

1. Look at yourself in the mirror for a minute or two after you’ve washed your face each evening. Smile. Place a hand on your heart and say a few loving words to yourself. Yes, it will likely feel awkward, but if you do this every day for a week or two, it will get easier. Keep going! You’ll start to notice a shift in your self-talk throughout each day.

2. Closely watch the words you choose in your thoughts about yourself. Do not label yourself in ways you would find unacceptable by others. Be positive, supportive, and encouraging — just as you would with someone special in your life. Reflect on the language you use and the circumstances when you give yourself the messages that most touch your heart, and find opportunities to do more of that.

3. Treat yourself to small moments of delight — like time to sit and simply breath quietly for two minutes. Or take a break to walk in the fresh air. Or soak in a bubble bath. Or take a few extra minutes to savor the taste of your meal in quiet, rather than multitasking. As you take time for yourself, remind yourself of your talents and all the great things you do in the world. You might even want to start a self-love journal, where you can make a note each day of several ways that you are special. (Keep it handy and refer to it whenever you feel discouraged!)

While everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day as a single day for love, you can choose to fill your heart with love, and fill your thoughts with loving words about and to yourself, every day. This self-love will be an enormous help as you pursue the goals and dreams that deeply matter to you. 

And, there’s a bonus: The more fully you love yourself, the more love you will have for others in your life!