An important time for reflection

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Last week I wrote to urge those of us (myself included!) who drive ourselves hard, and sometimes find ourselves drained and lacking motivation, to ease up on the struggle. (If you missed it, scroll down to the December 4 post below.)

If you have started to focus on the ideas in that post, I hope you are feeling a shift already.

And, if you want to take things a step deeper, I invite you to do some end-of-year reflecting in the coming weeks.

Why?

Because when we create space for refection we learn so much. And, that learning will impact the new year — and 2020 will be here soon!

This is a great time to pull out your favorite journal and take a few minutes each day for reflection.

Here are some good questions to explore

1. What are 10 things I can celebrate that I accomplished this year?

We typically rush from day to day and week to week without slowing down to acknowledge ourselves. This is a perfect time to reflect on the year and take note of things — big and small — that you can celebrate. And be sure to note why each was so terrific. (This is great brain training!)

2. What can I release or replace to open space for more growth, healing and happiness in 2020?

Simply ask this question and let yourself write freely. You may note insights related to habits, patterns, relationships, allocations of time and energy, obligations you’ve tolerated, and more.

Surprises may show up in your rambling notes, as well as issues you know need attention. Don’t overlook small things that may be easy to brush off as unimportant. Those “small things” can have a big impact on your wellbeing.

And it’s worth including reflections about how those things have limited you, been a challenge, or caused unnecessary struggle or pain. Do you realize that you feel drained after every conversation with a particular person? Can you describe the consequences each time your work stretches into the evening hours?

These observations will help you to be clear about changes you want to make in the new year.


3. Where can I find support or resources to help me make the changes I want?

If you have been reading my Big Ideas for a while, you know how strongly I advocate for asking for help and support. This is typically hard for many accomplished women (and men). What I have learned, and what I see with my clients all the time, is that reaching out for help is the path to faster, easier resolution of all sorts of challenges.

Write about all the options you can explore for support.


4. Imagine December 2020, and what your future self will report back to you.

Envision the future you, a year from now. Ask your future-self about how she grew and changed over the year. What did she do to get support? What actions did she take? What did it feel like to commit to her growth and expansion over time?

You can also ask:
What results did she experience?
What is she celebrating?
What advice can she offer you?

Taking a little time each day for a reflection practice will make the last weeks of 2019 your onramp to a great new year.

Leave a message, or email me, to let me know what this process has brought to light for you. And if you added more questions for reflection, I’d love to hear those, too.


A perfect time for reflection

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Most of us are super busy during the holiday season — getting ready, traveling, celebrating in all sorts of ways. There’s lots of emotion in the air (and often a mix of emotions). 

Happily, we get a short respite between Christmas and the start of the new year. 

I treasure this space. With festivities behind us and so many people on holiday, things get quiet. I find this to be a perfect time for reflection. 

Reflection is something most people never get to doing. Life is always hectic! But when you make time to slow down and look back great things happen.


The benefits of taking time to reflect

Meaningful reflection requires time and space. You must slow down and get quiet, and that in itself is an important gift you can give yourself. 

Taking time to reflect enables you to gain perspective. Rather than drifting from day to day and week to week until a year has sped by without any insight, when you create focused, quiet time you can see so much! With thought and attention, you can consider what worked in your life, and appreciate yourself and celebrate your accomplishments. You can also spot the patterns or habits that kept you stuck. 

The insights gleaned from reflection afford you tremendous opportunities for moving into your future. This is a time to consider what you want to build on, as well as what you want to do less of — or stop doing altogether. Consider the qualities you need to cultivate or nurture to live your best life. Start to consider the goals you want to set, and how you can reach them.


5 tips and suggestions for meaningful reflecting  

Why not create a special ritual for this process? You might even want to begin an annual tradition of reflecting. Here are some ideas to consider:

  1. Set aside some time for yourself at a particular time of day and find a place you like — a cozy nook, in front of a fire, a special chair — to settle into.

  2. You might want to ask someone to be a partner. Sitting together, you can do some thinking and writing, and then share your insights and ideas with one another.

  3. Designating a lovely journal for reflecting can make this a more special experience. And the journal can also be your place to note reflections at regular intervals during the year. (You might reflect monthly or at the start of each new season.) Your periodic reflections will help you stay clear and aware as you move through the year.

  4. You can approach the process of reflecting in a range of interesting ways. One possibility for getting started is go through your calendar and review the entries for each month, then note insights that come to mind. 

    Another approach is to create lists as your jumping off point. Try noting your top 10 highlights of the year or top 10 lessons learned or the 10 most important things you want to stop doing in the future. Next, jot down WHY each thing is on your list, and what you learned related to the entry. Before long, you’ll have a rich array of insights.

I would love to hear about how you reflect on the year that’s winding down, and what your big aha’s and take-aways are. Leave a comment here, or email me.

I would be happy to hear from you if you want to talk about how coaching can support you to live with clarity, intention, and commitment this year. I welcome you to get in touch to talk with me about how I can help.

I wish you and yours a New Year of living big!