Do you struggle when making decisions?

Do you dither?

It can be challenging to be decisive. Even the smartest people can find it hard to make decisions — chronically or sporadically.

I recall this challenge myself, years back, when I owned my design firm. I was asked by my team to please make faster decisions!

I was aware of taking my time to be sure I was thinking things through carefully, but had no idea that my slow decision-making was a problem for my team. I was holding them up.

They assured me that even if I made an “imperfect” decision, they would be fine moving ahead and we could course-correct if needed.

Did it sting to hear that? It did a little. Was it helpful to hear it? Yes!

Why it can be hard to make decisions

In my case, indecisiveness was rooted in perfectionism.

I had a deep-seated belief that I had to be perfect — and perfectionism is a powerful way the self-critic loves to show up to sabotage us. (You can read more about perfectionism and what to do about it here.)

I came to realized that I thought there had to be a perfect solution in response to any question or choice. Thus, deep down I felt that every decision I made had to be perfect.

Overly-deliberating about decisions was just one of many ways that perfectionism got in my way in those days! I was not conscious of it then, but it became clear that perfectionism was the underlying driver of my indecisiveness.

Fear — of failure, of conflict, of judgement, and more — is another cause of indecisiveness.

Fear is another huge way the self-critic steps in to limit us.

(You can learn about the self-critic, and the role of self-love to cope with the many ways the self-critic shows up, in the free guide I offer as a gift in my book.)

Fear of failure is incredibly common, and it’s a close cousin of perfectionism.

Many people fear making decisions because their decision may rock the boat and cause conflict. Or they fear that others will criticize their choice.

Some fear feeling remorse for a decision.

Fears like these can prompt people to push off making any decision at all.

Perhaps you are an over-thinker.

Some people believe they must think everything through from every possible vantage point. And there are times when it is wise to be very thorough in reviewing a matter.

However, over-thinking can become a habit and a crutch. It is often an indicator that procrastination is at play (and procrastination is yet another way the self-critic steps in to get in our way). 

Anxiety or depression may be making it hard for you to make decisions.

Anxiety and depression can make it very difficult for people to make decisions. The need to make decisions can make them feel overwhelmed. 

How I made faster decisions with less stress

The insight that I was holding others up by being indecisive, and hearing that they welcomed me to make faster decisions without assurance that my decisions would all be perfect (which is, of course, impossible to predict) freed me. 

I was able to trust myself to make decisions. I had “permission” to refine and make changes from that point forward.

It was a game-changer for me!

It opened the way for me to think expansively about what was possible, listen to my intuition, and make faster decisions.

I came to appreciate that I could continue to modify and create next steps as we moved forward.

Decisions that had felt so monumental began to look like steps along a path that was ongoing and full of possibility.

Adopting this approach can work similarly if fear is the factor that drives indecision, or over-thinking and procrastination are the root cause.

If you are aware that anxiety or depression are factors for you, I suggest you talk about that with a counselor, therapist or another medical professional.

What decisions are you making now?

As the world is opening up now, we have many new opportunities and many of us face making decisions of all sorts.

This can be exciting, or can bring on a sense of overwhelm. 

I urge you to try and approach making decisions with a new frame of mind, much as I learned to do. 

And if you feel called to make decisions now about the future you want to create, I’d be glad to meet with you. The next Live Big Live! starts soon, and it may be a great resource for you at this moment when so much possibility is on the horizon. 

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. There's no obligation or cost for us to talk.

Scheduling this call may prove to be the best decision you make today.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How free do you feel?

Having celebrated Independence Day this past weekend, there’s been a lot of  focus on independence and freedom.

These are expansive topics, and they can be explored from many perspectives.

What is coming up for me — aside from the ways we can give thought to independence and freedom through the important lens of our nation and its inhabitants — is personal freedom, and how we declare our own independence.

How do you feel free in your life?

Consider when and in what ways you most feel free.

Think, too, about how you may feel constrained or, perhaps, how you may deeply yearn to feel more free.

Perhaps your work, your relationships, or your finances come to mind.

Perhaps your heart feels caged.

There may be a part of you that yearns to be expressed.

Perhaps you perceive the constraints to be external or in the hands of other people. Or maybe you know you have the power to make a change to feel freer, but don’t know how, or have not found the courage. 

Are there ways you want to feel wildly free, but you hold back (a little, or a lot)?

I invite you to spend some time exploring this topic.

Pull out a journal, set a timer for 10 minutes and do some free writing, to see what comes up. You might try the Discovery Dozen™ exercises on page 29 of my book, to explore what feeling free really means to you. Those prompts can reveal thoughts that are deeply buried in you heart.

Do you feel ready to declare personal independence?

For years, questions about feeling free never came up for me. I lived day-to-day-to-day without deep reflection. I did not even consider the subject.

After I started working with a coach and waking up in my life, I started activating creative thinking and creative expression.

As a result, the feeling of being free started to show up in ways that surprised and delighted me. I began to consciously appreciate and explore this feeling, and to expand it in as many ways as possible. Soon, every part of my life felt more vibrant.

It was from that place of feeling free that I declared my independence — from a life that was good, to pursue a life that was exceptional.

I was tired of settling for the status quo and wanted to spread my wings and freely create my next chapter. 

If you’ve been a reader of my blog for a while (or read my story on this site) you know that in 2011 I sold the business I owned for 27 years and embarked on a new path. I could not foresee the destination, but here I am, doing coaching work I truly love, in a marriage that has become even stronger and happier than before, having written a book I am proud of, and having become a painter.

Living with this freedom and personal independence is something I celebrate and feel grateful for every day.

Have I “arrived”?

Hardly. 

Each day offers me opportunities to open more.

On some days, the feeling of freedom eludes me, and I have to find it anew and claim it again. It’s easy to fall back into old limiting states of mind.

It’s the ongoing pursuit of feeling free, being willing to take new steps toward it when I backslide, believing in myself and feeling worthy of this way of living, and committing to the ongoing process of the exploration that has carried me forward.

Step into defining freedom for yourself

If you want to talk about what freedom can look like for you, and making it a reality, the timing could not be better.

The preparatory journey that will culminate in Live Big Live! this fall is starting soon.

Live Big Live! is powerful program, designed to give you enormous clarity about the life and work you want to create. You will be supported to begin to create a future filled with the freedom you want, with tools to help you each step of the way.

We can make a date to talk about what’s in the way for you now and the future you dream of. Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me directly — click here to find a spot on my calendar. There's no obligation or cost for us to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The sure way to create the life you want

The glorious Sunset when I arrived at the retreat center in the Smokey Mountains

Last week I attended a life-changing retreat.

Before I left I considered the “cost” of three days out of the office. I felt sad to miss my son’s birthday celebration. I did not relish the prospect of taking two flights each way.

And, this trip meant postponing a long-awaited hair appointment for a week — as my salon was reopening after renovations. (Those with short hair get that this was a big deal!)

And in spite of all of that, my heart knew this was going to be important. I just could not have foreseen how much would shift and open and expand.

Great coaches have changed my life

When I started working with my first amazing coach, Peleg Top, I experienced remarkable change. I began to truly wake up in my life. A year and a half into our deep work, I realized I wanted to sell my business because it no longer lit me up — and I wanted to be lit up every day!

Peleg and I worked together through my exploration of creativity and he mentored me as I created my coaching practice. I came to know this was the work I wanted to do — work that would excite me every day and have a huge impact for other women. I wanted to guide them to identify their true desires, and tune into the powerful resources inside themselves to create their best futures and live big.

Peleg and I are still close. He continues to guide and inspire me. And we often collaborate.

And for the last year and a half I’ve worked with another brilliant coach, Michelle Villalobos. Michelle’s genius is to help her clients create and build businesses they love. She couples that with guidance for deep personal growth. The focus on personal growth — who I need to BE to live my biggest life — has proven to be a key foundation for stepping into more visibility and more impact in the world.

The time spent at the retreat last week ushered in an exciting new wave of expansion that I will be processing for quite a while.

A great coach can change your life

I rarely look back with regret, but if I could turn back the clock I’d have begun working with a coach a lot sooner. I can only imagine the way my life might have unfolded with that kind of support a decade earlier!

If you work with a coach you love, that’s terrific.

If you have never worked with a coach, I invite to look for someone who is a fit for you and who you believe can guide you to where you want to go in your life. Make a commitment and do the work.

And get ready for a wonderful ride!

It will surely bring up discomfort as you are asked new questions and you wake up in your life. There’s no way to know what it will feel like to begin to approach your life and work through new eyes and a more open heart, and courageously start living in new ways.

There will be rich rewards when you commit and stay with it.

You’ll be guided to bring new and bigger perspectives to your life and explore with new levels of curiosity. You will be supported to bring new levels of creativity into your thinking, and get really clear about what you want your future to look like.

You will start to bring all of yourself and your gifts into the world, with confidence and grace.

You will experience happiness and satisfaction in yourself, your relationships, and your work that will delight you as you move up to each next level.

I want that for you.

We can talk about what it could look like to work together, and see if the fit is good.

Or you may want to consider other coaches to support you. There are great coaches out there, and one is certainly a match for where you are right now.

I’ll be happy to know that you are getting support to create your best life. After all, if more of us do that and stay committed to ever-expanding growth, our collective personal growth will impact the well-being of people everywhere.

That’s how we can each make our own lives better as we make this a better world.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to talk about your life and creating your best future, grab a spot on my calendar and we’ll have a Live Big Breakthrough Call.)

Love is often complicated

Remembering a very happy Father’s Day in 2019, With my grandson and my parents

Lots of people find Father’s Day and Mother’s Day to be contrived, as the holidays were created for commercial opportunity. After all, they contend, every day should be a day to think about and express love to our parents.

And while I appreciate that the greeting card and gift sales, and restaurant meals consumed to note the day, can be a turn-off for some, I find it lovely to set aside two special days to really focus on one’s parents.

Much like a birthday celebration, putting someone you love in the spotlight feels wonderful. And it makes them feel wonderful. What’s the downside to making these joy-filled, love-filled days?

And it can be complicated…

Mother’s Day this year tugged at my heart. While I was delighted to be the focus of loving attention from my family — including a special brunch on a sunny patio with my children and my two precious grandchildren joyfully dashing around, this was the first Mother’s Day since I lost my mother in August.

I longed for the sweet days of years past, when I’d call her, send flowers and gifts, and tell her how much I loved her. The last time I got to do that was on Zoom last year.

As you can imagine, Father’s Day on Sunday was especially dear for me. Having just returned home from a second hospitalization in just a few weeks, my dad is slowly recuperating.

We drove to Philadelphia for the weekend and I was so grateful to be with him. The fact that Father’s Day fell on the weekend we were visiting made it even more special.

I treasure my father. I treasure having had this time with him in person, and surrounding him with love. It was a treat for both of us.

And yes, we brought him a big bouquet of flowers on Sunday morning, that I hope will brighten his days and remind him, for many days to come, of how much we all love him.

Today is also my mother’s birthday

My mother would have been 92 today. A year ago she was quite ill, and her birthday was celebrated on Zoom. She was happy that we could “be together” virtually. The flowers and gifts we’d sent were there. It was the best we could do.

Today my heart is sore. I hear her voice, but only in my memory of it. And I am doing my best to stay focused on celebrating her life.

My dad and I have a date for a Zoom dinner together, to reminisce and share stories about her magic. He loves to tell me about how he was smitten by her from the first moment he saw her, how beautiful she was, and how much he loved their 70 years together.

I am focused on savoring the joy

I realized this morning that it was Father’s Day two years ago that my parents were in Boston with us, just a month after the birth of my granddaughter — their second great-grandchild.

They were both vibrantly healthy and filled with delight to meet Aria and be with all of us.

I cherish these sweet memories, and so many more. I savor the joy of my weekend visit with my father. All of the precious times I hold in my heart serve as a counterbalance to the sadness at losing my mother, and the concerns I have as I watch my father slowly rebuild his strength and health.

We need to feel it all

It’s great to feel happy. It is hard to grieve, to long, to feel worry or pain.

Many people push away the hard emotions, which is understandable. But we need to feel it all.

Feeling the emotions connects us to our heart. And spending some time there can open us up.

One great path to moving through the hard emotions (and elevating great ones) is to use the emotion as “fuel” for something creative.

For me that is often writing or making art. For others it can be time digging in a garden, or moving to music, or playing an instrument, or making something with their hands.

Today I will cook something my mother loved to make, as cooking was one of her favorite ways to create — she was renowned for the food she lovingly prepared and served on gorgeous tables for family and friends.

And I have a date to create with a small group of artists with whom I have met regularly for over a decade. It feels perfect that our time together fell on my mother’s birthday, as my mother was a great artist in addition to a great cook.

I invite you to express yourself in a creative way any time you have emotions to transform or elevate. Maybe you’ll decide to do that today — our emotions are always there to one degree or another, always ready to be put to use in a creative way.

If you have never tried it, give it a go. It always works for me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What I am learning about resilience this time around

There are times when events show up in your life and you are tested. 

When my father suffered a health crisis two weeks ago, we mobilized and dashed to Philadelphia. After five days in the hospital he was discharged, we arranged for additional care for him at home, we returned to Boston, and everything seemed stable.

Until it wasn’t.

My father was back in the ER on Friday, admitted again, and once more we’ve need to be patient as the medical team works to fine-tune the medication plan that we hope will allow my him to return home without fear of new events. 

Naturally, this is stressful for my dad, for my sisters and me, for my husband and children and all who deeply love him.

Life inevitably calls on us to be resilient

Today I turned to the chapter in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, titled Carry On. It’s all about resilience, and I realized it was time for me to revisit the content I wrote based on my own past experiences.

The chapter addresses a range of times we need to be resilient. I focused on the exercises and practices that were matched to what I need now.

I started by completing a Discovery Dozen™ exercise to help me slow down and cultivate awareness. I modified the suggestions in the book to best help me now. I used this fill-in-the-blank sentence, completing it with 12 different answers, to start my day:

To slow down and be more present I can....

Then I focused on the best actions I could take to ensure my father’s well-being and for my self-care. I made calls to the nurses and then set aside other tasks to meditate. I know that meditating helps me to stay centered and think clearly.

Next, I was guided to bolster my belief in myself, by recalling the ways I have been able to do things well in the past when I’ve been under stress. I reminded myself that I may not do things perfectly, but when I think clearly and do my best, I have been able to do a lot — and I can do a lot today, too.

Rather than reacting, I consciously chose to create. I considered the resources available to me for help, and resources I can activate, and got things in motion.

I asked myself good questions, too. I knew these Discovery Dozen sentences would help me: 
“What would I do if I were not afraid?”
“How is this experience calling on me to grow, expand, or adapt?” 
“What am I learning now?”

My big take-aways 

When I turn to proven tools to support myself to stay calm, I am able to think clearly, and that makes everything better — especially as I continue to navigate this health challenge. 

I can keep fear at bay when I reach out for support.

I appreciate how much I have learned from dealing with other challenges in the past, that are informing me now. 

And I appreciate myself for my ability to be patient and trust, as well as my willingness to learn and grow.

How are you resilient in your life?

All of us are called on to be resilient, in small and bigger ways, as we move through our lives. This last year has certainly been filled with challenges that run the gamut.

How are you able to respond? What works best for you? 

I would love to hear from you, and would be glad for you to share your strategies. Email me or leave a comment and let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating. 

And thank you for keeping my sweet father in your prayers.

You can let go of fear and perfectionism, too!

It’s June! As we head into the summer, and having been vaccinated so we can start reconnecting with the world, I am reflecting on what was happening in my life last year at this time.

Of course, we were in lockdown and unsure about how long our confined way of living would last. Months of living in the pandemic served as an impetus for me to think about how I wanted to make changes in my life.

That’s when I started to create something new. Something bold.

I realized wanted to work with clients in a new way. I wanted to serve them at an even higher level, so they would reap even bigger results, and I wanted to design a program that would allow for more joy in my life.

I yearned for more time to write and more time to paint. I craved more unscheduled space in my life, which is something I help my clients do all the time, but had not done so much for myself. It was time to make a change.

My creative process was different last year than in the past

Like many people, when I embark on creating something big from scratch, I feel excited anticipation mixed with feelings of uncertainty about the outcome.

Years ago, that uncertainty made me super-nervous. I had been a perfectionist for most of my life.

Because I was so consumed with being sure the outcomes would be great, there were things I dreamed of doing but never started. And there were things I started and either did not finish, or spent so much time perfecting that they took way longer to bring into the world than they might have. I also endure a huge amount of stress along the way.

But having learned to be a creator in every part of my life over the last decade, I now welcome the process of diving in, ideating, testing, iterating, and seeing how things go. Going through the creative process without trepidation is amazing!

I trust myself and find joy in creating in a bold way — even when the quality of the end product can’t be foreseen or guaranteed at the start.

What I created changed me, and changed my clients

What I launched last August was my first Live Big Live! program — the first of what are now three retreats I lead each year.

And I just had the joy of leading the third Live Big Live! — for Spring 2021. The retreat took place last Thursday, Friday and Saturday and I am still processing the experience.

And while every part of the three days we spent together at the retreat was amazing, the program actually started 45 days before. I decided, as I created the program, that I wanted women to have a deeper experience than would be possible if we came together for three days without a foundation.

The remarkable group of women in this cohort started on their path to Living Big on April 18. They were immersed in a 6-week preparatory journey together. It provided self exploration and enabled them to arrive at the retreat having bonded as a group, and ready to do truly transformative work.

I witnessed each of them step into new ways of trusting themselves, and I witnessed them release fear.

I witnessed generous support for one another as they each went deep into their hearts to connect to their desires and shape their visions for the future.

I also witnessed them do powerful creative work each day at the retreat, where clarity emerged, insights appeared and new possibilities were realized.

And while we hit on many tender places and tears were shed from time to time, I witnessed joy, delight and celebration.

I have been able to combine the power of group and private coaching, and usher in life-changing transformations in ways that bring me enormous joy. This creative endeavor, that I initiated a year ago, has resulted in all of the outcomes I was seeking.

What are you ready to create in your life?

Is it time for you to figure out what’s next, or get unstuck? Time to stop living with fear as the driver? Time to get help navigating a transition? Are you ready to break through barriers in your work or business, or reach higher than ever before? Do you sense there’s more that’s possible for you, but cannot figure it out?

The next Live Big Live! will kick off in mid-August, for a retreat at the start of October. I am already in conversation with women about the next retreat, and I am delighted that it will be live again (as we were able to be last October).

It’s not too soon to think about this opportunity.

If you are ready to bring remarkable change into your life with love, support, and guidance, and ready to create your future with clarity and confidence, let’s talk soon.

To learn more about Live Big Live! and to see if you’d be a fit to join us, you can set up a free call with me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What I learned in a family medical emergency

As much as we make plans and think we have everything carefully mapped out, life has a way of throwing us curveballs.

I was excited to anticipate a trip to visit my father for the holiday weekend. We had not seen him since Thanksgiving, and now that the entire family is fully vaccinated I envisioned a nice drive to Philadelphia on Friday, where we’d spend a few days enjoying relaxed conversations over delicious meals, take short excursions to lovely places, and I would have ample time to reconnect with my father and sisters.

What happened instead is that on Wednesday my father was rushed to an emergency room with frightening symptoms. We left for Philadelphia early Thursday morning and spent the next 5 days with him in the hospital.

A robust 95-year-old, my dad is amazing. I am glad to say that he has pulled through a complex set of events, and should be able to return home soon.

While it was a far cry from the visit we planned, I am deeply grateful for the wonderful care my father received, and that we were able to be with him and my sisters.

I am enormously grateful that with COVID vaccination rates high, restrictions at the hospital were partially lifted, so we could be with him and confer directly with his doctors and nurses. And there was far less worry about exposure than there would have been even a few weeks back.

And I am grateful for all the ways my family pulled together to look after him.

Sometimes we get unexpected reminders of important life lessons

When everything goes according to plan, it’s easy to take a lot for granted. I appreciate that some important insights I’ve integrated in my life in the past few years came into even clearer focus this week.

These are at the top of my list:

• No matter how carefully I plan (and I plan a lot!), remaining flexible is a must. I was able to do that this week.

• No matter what happens, staying present and responding with a clear head is crucial. Happily, I was able to do that, too.

• Help is always available, and reaching out for help is always a good idea. I reached out for and received so much meaningful help that supported me this week, both emotionally and practically.

• It’s possible to stay positive in the face of uncertainty. That outlook helped me to be resilient.

• Frightening emotions don’t have to derail me. I can feel them, work through them, stay present and persevere.

• Self-care helps enormously when life gets challenging. Good nutrition, staying in a comfortable hotel, and getting ample sleep made each day easier.

• Love is powerful, and the best medicine.

What do you need to do to be ready for the unexpected?

If life throws you a curveball out of the blue, how do you think you will be able to respond?

I know that my journey of personal development over the last decade, that led me to becoming a coach, bolstered my internal resources immeasurably. I was able to cope and move through the stresses of this week in ways that would have been much harder for me years back.

If you want guidance about how to build a solid foundation for your best life, email me and we can make a date to talk about what’s in the way for you now, and what’s possible, too. Or you can schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me directly — click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

There’s a superpower you can claim today

On Saturday night I returned from a 3-day retreat that fired-up me up with energy and inspiration! The energy of that time away, in the company of a great leader and truly remarkable people, carried me though the weekend and is lighting me up as I’m heading into the week.

While energy was a theme we kept coming back to in the big work we did together at the retreat, it is something I am always aware of.

And energy is an important focus of my coaching work.

The energy you bring to everything you do matters more than you may realize

Think of something that makes you feel excited, full of energy. What do you love to do that lights you up?

That feeling is what my coach and mentor calls feeling “energy-rich.”

She believes in creating a business that is centered on doing what is energy-rich for you, and steering away from things that drain your energy. (That said, there are things we all must do that are not in our sweet-spot for high energy. In those cases, planning to get help will lead to success with more ease.)

Because when you focus on the things that are energy-rich — whatever they are for you — everything is easier, goes better, and is more fun.

And, the energy you bring to everything in your life works the same way!

Your energy impacts your outcomes

Living and working with a focus on a mission or purpose gives you a head-start on bringing good energy to your tasks each day.

But even then, we all have challenges that pull our energy down.

The first step is to notice when you feel “energy-poor,” then identify what’s pulling your energy down.

Rather than muscling ahead while feeling low, see if you can make it a practice to pay attention to how you are feeling. When you pause with intention and notice that your energy is lagging, you can explore the reason your energy is low.

You might want to use my Discovery Dozen™ tool (it’s provided in many of the exercises in my book, Live Big, and can be adapted in countless ways) to get to the root causes. Or you can start by considering questions like these:

Did you have a bad night’s sleep, or eat poorly?

Did you slip into comparing yourself to someone, or feeling like an impostor?

Do you doubt your ability to do a task or project well enough?

Are you feeling afraid? Of what?

I always suggest that you jot down the thoughts that come to mind as you answer questions like these. Writing by hand, and exploring the reasons, can accelerate your clarity.

Next, look for ways to shift back to a more positive energetic state.

If you can rectify something with ease — like eating a nutritious meal, or taking a nap, or walking around the block — by all means start there. Maybe you will want to place a call to someone who believes in you, who can remind you that you have done hard things before, to give you a boost of confidence and love.

And it’s always helpful to reconnect to why this task, or project, important.

Why did you choose it or say “Yes” to doing it? Why is this conversation, or project, or effort important? Why does this matter? The answers can be a great way for you to find good energy.

And if you consider the why, and realize there isn’t a good one there —maybe you said “Yes” just to please someone or avoid conflict, or you realize this is not meaningful for you, or you realize you can delegate the task to someone else, or maybe it is not aligned to your integrity — you can make a new decision. Saying “No” may be the decision that brings you back to a high energetic state.

Your energy can be a super-power

When you focus on staying in a state of high energy, and learn to feel the feelings and restore your energy when it flags, you will notice real shifts in your life.

Remember that the energy with which you create anything will impact the quality of what you create! Because when you are fueled with excitement, motivation, purpose, and joy, everything that you create will be enriched!

Why not start every day with the intention to be aware of your energy, and to stay as energy-rich as possible?

This is one practice anyone can do, and it can become a habit. After a while it can become as automatic as brushing your teeth each day.

Can you imagine feeling energy-rich throughout your body? I invite you to embody that feeling!

Right now, consider what the rest of today can look like with that awareness and intention. Now get started and see how it goes!

I’d be delighted for you to email me or leave a comment to let me know how you experience magic in your life when you focus on feeling energy-rich each day.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you struggle when things go south?

As much as we strive to do our best and steer our lives with intention, it’s inevitable that we experience setbacks, disappointments, and failures.

The feelings we experience in those situations can range from annoyed to frustrated to crushed.

And it’s in those moments that fear and doubt can take over.

So, how can you respond instead?

Ask yourself this question:

“Where are the gifts?”

Even the most challenging situations can offer us gifts.

The pandemic we have lived through comes immediately to mind, but life is frequently messy. We lose people we love. We get fired from a job or lose a major client. Relationships fall apart. Project outcomes fall short.

When there are big hits, or small events that don’t go well, we have the opportunity to choose the lens through which to look.

When we look for them, we can find gifts, both small ones, and often bigger gifts.

Here are some gifts to look for

When you look for the gifts in any situation, you are oriented to the positive, and that helps you feel better in the moment. You can see opportunities and possibilities. Your energy shifts in ways that turn any situation around faster.

The gifts can be small and subtle — and those are terrific.

You might consider posing questions like these:

• What lessons can I take away from this disappointment or failure?

• What opportunities might be opening up, that I can see now?

• How can I appreciate kindness that was offered to me?

• How can I appreciate and celebrate the ways I took a risk, or spoke up, or created something in a new way, or helped in a situation?

• What new ways to work, or connect, or create, or think are possible now?

• Where has space opened up for things I like or want to do, such as cooking, getting outdoors, playing an instrument, learning something I’ve been curious about?

• What if it’s possible that new and better things will soon be coming, that I cannot even see right now?

Can you envision how referring to this list of questions could help you steer clear of an emotional nose-dive?

Any of them can help you shift your perspective, support you emotionally, and help you move forward in a more positive way.

Consider how you can use these ideas each day

We always have the opportunity to view our circumstances with fresh eyes and choose the way to move forward.

Even in small moments when you find yourself feeling let down or disappointed, think positively and consider that good can lie ahead.

And think creatively. Because we can create all the time.

Consider that in every moment, and with every choice we make for what to say or do next, we have a creative opportunity.

Leave a comment to share the ways you have chosen a positive frame of mind, and created your way forward when challenges have shown up in your life.

And if you want to talk about how to bring more creative activation into your life, to move beyond what limits you, let’s talk. I’d be glad to help you gain new insights and perspectives on what’s in the way, as well as what’s possible for you. Click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you ready to slow down and love your life more?

If you are like me, you may have a tendency to do a lot.

I get excited about new ideas — I generate them all the time. I love learning new things. I like to help people. I take on a lot and often have a calendar without much white space on it.

And, more and more these days, I find myself yearning for space — space for quiet, rest, yoga, time outdoors in the glorious spring weather, and more time in my studio.

I realize this is just what I urge my clients to do — make space for themselves to be quiet, to think, to rest, and for self-care of every kind.

Richard Bach’s well-known quote is “We teach best what we most need to learn.” My story certainly illustrates that!

Creating space to slow down and be is life-long work for me. (That’s why the first chapter of my book is Slow Down and Be Still. It’s the foundation for living big!)

And, messages about doing too much, and a desire to be clear and intentional, keep coming in for me lately. The universe is sending me wisdom in many ways.

Here’s one way I am making more space for myself now

I recently remembered that a few years ago, thinking about this same challenge, I created a To-Don’t list. And, I made a companion To-Do list. Each had three key questions to guide me.

I am pulling them out again!

Why not use these tools and see what happens for you?

Here are the questions to consider for what goes on your To-Don’t list:

• What can I defer?
• What can I delegate?
• What can I dump?

Here’s the key to what to put include on your To-Do list:

• What gives me energy?
• What brings me joy?
• What keeps me out of trouble? (After all, some things must be done.)

And, I have decided to add two new criteria for my To-Do list entries:

• Is it fun?
• Will it move forward something that is really important to me?

I am determined to defer, delegate and drop as much as possible, and not add anything to my to-do list that does not match my new criteria.

(And if you, like me, have found to-do lists hard to manage, I just started to use an app that I really like. The free version of Remember the Milk is great.)

This quote is helping a lot

This brilliant quote was recently shared with me:

“I am working toward a time when everything brings me joy.”

It was attributed to Maya Angelou, but I have been unable to confirm that. In any case, the words of this quote sound simple enough, but I think they are profound.

What if we could each keep this statement in our minds, and let it guide us? Can you imagine how much could change by simply returning to that intention each day?

That guidance in now helping me choose when to say “Yes” and when to say “No” — with love. This simple awareness has been a game-changer.

This new acronym is inspiring me

I had a great conversation last week with my dear coach and friend, Peleg Top. He has been on a sabbatical, and he is focusing on the joy of simply being.

He told me that he is replacing FOMO (the fear of missing out), with JOMO — the joy of missing out!

I totally love that idea, and have been reminding myself of it daily.

What works best for you?

As I always say, the small changes we make have a big impact, and with consistency the impact grows over time. I am starting small with the powerful ideas I shared here, and am committed to building in open space on my calendar and keeping it that way!

And, just as the quote and the new acronym prove, we can learn so much from one another.

Please share what you have done to make space in your life. I would be delighted to hear your ideas. Leave a comment to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

We're in a season of change. What kind is right for you now?

It’s exciting to see spring bust out all around us, and wonderful to be out and about so much more.

Do you feel inspired? Do you feel ready for new things, new experiences, and maybe some change?

Spring is the perfect time to bring change into your life, and especially this year, having been so limited in so many ways for so long.

What kinds of change do you long for now?

Why not start by considering possible changes in a number of categories. Some offer small opportunities for sparking your life and some are weightier. Which of these can enrich you now?

Think about how you dress.

Many of us have been wearing comfy clothes during the pandemic and the long dark winter from which we just emerged. Lots of us settled for drab colors, too, not thinking much about the impact of the clothes we choose each day. Why not go for wearing fabrics and colors and adornments that make you feel beautiful? This small daily change can give you a big lift!

Color can have a big impact!

Consider emphasizing the colors in your environment. Which make you happy? Which bring back lovely memories? Perhaps colors you associate with the beach and water delight you, or rich jewel tones make you feel great. What changes would light you up, if you add or change colors — in the clothes you choose, flowers you bring into your home, the food on your plate, the art on your walls (or the paint color!), or even the dish towels you use each day?

What are you eating now?

The statistics on weight gain during the pandemic are startling. But even if you have not put on weight, this is the perfect season to focus on eating simple, fresh foods. Farmer’s markets are opening! Home gardens, if you have the space and are up for planting, offer fresh veggies and herbs in your own back yard. I have a Sunday ritual of sautéeing and roasting lots of fresh veggies to eat all week, and at this time of year it gets even more fun. With new favorites like asparagus and local fresh berries soon to be in season, it’s exciting to look forward to all of the flavors.

Will you change your ways of moving?

The opportunities for getting exercise get to be more fun in the spring. I know walking has been an important part of coping with isolation for many people (and those with dogs take them out in any weather), but others — like me — have not been that active outside for some time. I am starting to walk more, both in my neighborhood and in nearby places that offer beautiful new surroundings. Perhaps you will try jogging, or tennis. Perhaps you will be able to safely get back to the gym where specialized equipment is available. Perhaps this is the time to do a new kind of yoga, or try kick-boxing. What would feel great for you?

Are you ready for change in your work?

So many women I speak to now are considering their work lives — in a range of ways. Some got a big wake-up call this year and realized they needed to leave a toxic environment, or move on from a field that is no longer making them happy. Some are looking for work, having been in industries that were hard hit. Some have had businesses that made it through, but need to bring them back to full vitality. Some are in a transitional period moving toward retirement. Some launched new consulting practices or ventures that call on them to show up in new and different ways.

If you find yourself facing or wanting change related to your professional life, start with questions like these: What do you want to change? Why is it important for you? What will it take to get started — or keep moving forward?

All change starts with how you think

How do you consider and orient yourself to all that is possible? What’s your frame of mind? Do you believe in yourself, believe that you can explore change and make change?

If you steer your thoughts to curiosity and inquiry, if you connect to what you want, and ask yourself questions like, “What if it’s possible that…?” and “What small next step might I take?” then making change will be easier for you.

If you find yourself veering into negative territory, like doubt or fear, start with reminding yourself of how much you have been able to do in many other moments of your life. Then aim for making small positive changes (like the ones at the top of the list above). See how they light you up and inspire you. Next, remind yourself that you can choose the thoughts to focus on. Consciously choose to focus on curiosity and stay in inquiry.

Next, set intentions

When you are aware of your thinking and start to get an idea for change you want to make, set intentions. Make your intentions clear, but do not get overwhelmed by setting grand intentions.

You may want to start by setting a small intention, such as scheduling 10 minutes to do a new form of stretching when you wake up each day, or trying to cook a new fresh food twice a week.

You may set a somewhat bigger intention related to your career, like reaching out to ask for information from someone in a field you are exploring.

Once you set the intention, commit to following through. You may want to ask someone to help you stay accountable, with a quick daily or weekly check-in.

Aim to make small, incremental change

Even if you long to make a big change in your life, this is the time to take small steps. Small consistent steps are the surest path to reaping big results!

We tend to minimize the importance of small steps. We believe that we must be bold, and go big to make progress and to feel proud of ourselves.

That’s a myth!

Taking small steps, one after another, is an incredibly powerful way to build confidence, build momentum and reach great outcomes. Small consistent steps make us resilient when set-backs show up. We keep going. And we build new habits that serve us well in many dimensions of our lives.

Make the most of this season of opportunity! I would be delighted to hear about the changes you are initiating. Leave a comment to share.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How will you step into the future now?

What a moment this is.

Seeing spring in bloom feels sweeter than ever after the year we have lived through.

It is remarkable that so many of us have been vaccinated!

We are looking forward with anticipation to being more connected in the world — and to a new season of personal growth and change.

And at the same time there are still many concerns swirling, about reaching herd immunity, new virus variants, and knowing how many people are in peril around the world.

This is not over.

How will we be affected?

It is clear that what lies ahead will not be the same for any of us as in the “before times,” and so we face uncertainty.

We are all changed

Whatever your experiences have been in the last 13 months — it may have been intense and difficult, or things may have gone well for you in the midst of the pandemic — the extraordinary global event has had an impact. And it will continue to impact all of us.

The affect of having lived through this time is worth reflecting on.

Maybe you think differently today about the relationships in your life, or the work you do, or what really matters to you, or what you value that you used to take for granted.

I realize it can feel daunting, but carving out time for thoughtful reflection to gain clarity will help you to move forward with intention.

Why not do some writing to explore all that you have experienced, or spend time with someone close to you and talk about the the observations you’ve both made?

Think about big themes, and also small things. All of it is important, and all of it will create a sort of tapestry of insight, about what really counts for you now.

Where are you headed?

Having gained insight and perspective, you can think about what you want to create in your life now. Spring is the perfect time for new initiatives.

And yet, this is not the time to rush. Go forward gently. Take your time, because things around us are still evolving.

The key is to set a direction that is right for you.
And from there get into motion.

• If you have a new focus on the importance of self-care for your well-being — perhaps exercise, a healthier diet, spending time in nature — how will you make that a non-negotiable part of your routine?

– Get specific about what, when and how you will pursue it.

• If you have had a wake-up call to focus on work that really excites you, how can you start down that path and build momentum?

– What first step can you take today? What can you research or learn? Who can you reach out to for information, or advice, or to invite collaboration?

• If now is the time to make progress on something that you have been timid about starting, or procrastinated about dealing with, what small step can you take today to get started? And what next step will you take tomorrow?

– Who can help you (a coach? an accountability partner?) so you stay on track?

• If you are ready to expand, to reach higher or go bigger — in the work you do, a passion you want to pursue, an initiative you yearn to launch, a relationship you want to go after, a geographic relocation — consider who you need to be to get that started. Bold? Creative? Confident? How can you build those qualities?

– Be sure to think big! Ask yourself how big the idea can be, and envision that outcome. Get the support you need and begin to take action.

Stay open-minded and flexible

As you begin to move into what is next for you, move ahead thoughtfully. Be prepared to make modifications as conditions around you evolve, and as your insights and experiences inform your thinking.

After all, that is the essence of creativity.

You are a creator when you stay open and curious.

You are a creator when you allow yourself to keep generating new ideas and you test them without fear.

You are a creator when you listen to, and trust, your intuition.

When you are a creator the possibilities are unlimited.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to talk about your ambitions for the future and learn how I may be able to help you create the future you dare to dream of, let’s hop on a call. Click here to find a spot on my calendar.)

If you avoid discomfort you’re not alone

Human beings like to be comfortable. And who can blame us? Feeling comfortable — physically and emotionally — is certainly nicer than discomfort.

But staying in our comfort zone, avoiding the discomfort of stepping up to try new things and experience personal growth, is different.

Because when we stay static, play safe, or live a small version of what is possible for us, just to remain comfortable, we cheat ourselves.

As I wrote last week, even accomplished women who yearn for more — to show up and be fully authentic, to reach for the next level in their work, to live the life they yearn for on their terms — can get mired in doubt and stay stuck.

Why? As much as they may want to change, they resist stepping into that change because they fear it will be uncomfortable.

Is the thought of some discomfort keeping you stuck?

Maybe thoughts like these are holding you back:

• I may not be up to the task — what if I fail?

• I'm really not good enough to do what I’m dreaming of.

• I’m not enough.

• I don’t feel worthy; I do not deserve what I desire.

• I’m afraid of what other people will say — if I can’t make the change, or even if I succeed.

• Some people will disapprove of what I want to do.

• I’ll be horribly embarrassed if I fall short.

• I feel ashamed that it’s taken me so long to get started. It’s easier not to even try.

Yes, even considering these thoughts can get uncomfortable.

And if any of them (or several) ring true for you, you are not alone!

Most people — even super-accomplished people — have had many of these concerns. And many have moved forward in spite of them.

What you may be ready to consider

When you read through the list above, did you feel a stirring to stretch a bit? Might you be willing to get a little uncomfortable and try to take some new steps in your life?

Maybe one or more of these possibilities feel “ripe” for you now:

• I want to go after something new.

• I’m willing to examine my life.

• I want to figure out what’s next for me that will light me up.

• I feel ready to expand and grow.

• I want to be more self-relient, be more in command of my life.

• I want to make a bold move in my career or business or personal life.

• I am ready to bring a new relationship into my life.

• There’s something I am not willing to tolerate any more.

You can safely begin to test the waters

If you responded to something on the list above — or something different and meaningful came up for you — here’s how to start to take small steps toward the expansion and change you seek.

Consider these 4 suggestions:

1. Ask someone you admire if they made it to where they are today without concern about some discomfort.

If they are willing to honestly share with you, you are likely to hear a great story about what it was like for them before, how they faced the discomfort of stepping into change, and how they reached the place they are today.

With that inspiration, think about ways you can get started making some change in your life.

2. Check out my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life.

Lots of people have been telling me how helpful Live Big is for them now. They have shared that doing some of the exercises and practices in various chapters of the book has been really great. The book offers many safe ways to be guided to gently step into making meaningful change. (And, the book is on sale through Thursday, so this is a great time to get a copy for yourself, stock up for gifts, and send copies to friends.)

3. Choose a step to take now, to activate a change.

If, for instance, you want to learn something new, or want to consider a career shift to a new industry, you might search for videos to start exploring what’s involved. You can invite someone with that background to have a virtual coffee date. You can look for a short course to take.

The idea is to start! Even small steps get you in motion, and those small steps will not feel too uncomfortable. From there you can gain momentum.

4. Reach out for help.

Do you have a friend who is interested in making change in her life? You can ask if she wants to be an accountability partner for you, and you for her.

Or better yet, you can ask for the help of a pro.

My journey of expansion and transformation started when I got help. I was not looking for it, but the universe introduced me to a coach, and for the first time in my life, I said “Yes” to getting help.

Was it uncomfortable to be asked big questions I’d never asked myself, and look clearly at my life? You bet it was. But I also felt safe, knowing I was being guided by a brilliant and loving coach every step of the way.

And my life today is the reward.

I have never stopped being coached — in fact I have several coaches now, to support me in different parts of my life and work. That’s how I continue to grow and expand in my life.

Sure, I run up against some discomfort each time I begin to move out of my current comfort zone. But having support makes a world of difference.

If you want to explore what support can look like, let’s talk

I invite you to make a date with me for a Live Big Breakthrough Call — there’s no cost or obligation. I ask only one thing: that you are serious about exploring what making significant change can be like for you.

Share your challenges and your dreams. I’ll provide new insights and perspectives about what’s in your way now, as well as what is possible. And if the fit feels good, we can talk about how I may be able to help you make your dreams a reality.

Click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Even accomplished women feel doubt and play small

I talk about about the concept of living big all the time — what it means to create a life where you show up fully and authentically, boldly aligning with your true purpose and able to keep fear and doubt from derailing you.

Sadly, even accomplished women live small. They play smaller than they know, deep down, they are capable of.

I know I was living a small life in so many ways until my “wake-up call” a decade ago. Yes, I had a great marriage and wonderful children and I owned a respected design firm. I was regarded as a successful woman.

But I came to realize that I did not believe in myself enough to lead my team or my clients as powerfully as I could. That lack of feeling good enough made me uncomfortable showing up in our marketing, and made it hard for me to be decisive.

The biggest realization I became aware of was that my work was no longer lighting me up — and I finally believed that I deserved to find what would challenge and excite me each day.

I was not willing to settle any longer.

And when I decided to sell my business and step into something new (that I could not yet picture), I realized I had to start showing up in my life in new ways. I needed to bring new levels of belief in myself, as well as courage, to embarking on my new journey.

Do you struggle to believe in yourself, show up fully and forge your own path?

I know I have a lot of company in not having been encouraged to think about and appreciate my gifts and talents — after all, I was taught that would be boastful. It was really hard for me to “own” my gifts and feel confident.

Nor was I urged to show up in big ways growing up, or even as I stepped into my professional life. Few of us were told it’s great to speak your truth. I look back and see how often I second-guessed myself or did not speak up when I knew I had something to say.

And few of us were told to connect to what we truly want, and to follow a path that is ours to explore and travel. It wasn’t until I started working with a coach that I was guided to do just that.

Is doubt making you play small or feel stuck?

When we doubt ourselves, or don’t feel that we deserve to pursue our desires, we are unable to believe in all that’s possible for us. And so we settle.

We settle for the status quo — after all, it feels safe to stick to what’s familiar.

Or we tolerate the feeling of being an impostor — which makes us overly cautious as we doubt ourselves.

And if we focus on staying safe, and when we resist (or are afraid of) stretching to explore what we can truly do, or what we truly desire, we feel stuck and we tend to stay stuck.

Do you recognize any of these signs?

• You feel deflated and discouraged. These feelings are natural when you don’t appreciate your greatness and feel doubtful, or when you feel unfulfilled and don’t know how to get started in a new direction.

• You feel numb. This feeling — whether it comes on by itself or you help it along with behaviours like avoidance or overeating or drinking — is an indicator that you are not taking charge of your life for any number of reasons.

• You know, deep down, that you are hiding your true self. You care so much about what others think that you don’t allow yourself to show up authentically.

• You are focused on the feelings and wellbeing of everyone around you, and discount what you need. Even the most accomplished women tend to put themselves last.

• You’re exhausted. Playing small or living small sounds like it would give you space and peace, but it is depleting — emotionally and physically.

The good news is that you get to choose

My life is proof that it’s possible to take action — and to make remarkable, significant change.

And, I could not have done it alone. I was not equipped to make big courageous moves in my life without support. That's where the great coach I worked with was invaluable, and I have never stopped getting coaching support.

We all have endless opportunities to grow and expand, by going deep into understanding ourselves and leveraging all of our gifts.

When you are open to change:

You get to choose what you want.

You can be proactive.

You can overcome obstacles.

The universe will open up and support you.

Are you ready to choose change?

If you want to talk about what it can look like to step into the biggest version of yourself, and connect to what you want your life to look, feel and be like so you can start creating the future you really desire, let’s talk.

Click here to grab a spot on my calendar. I promise you will gain new insights and perspective on what’s in the way and possible for you, and we’ll see if we both think working together can help you to step into the future you want. And if not, that’s totally fine.

And, with my Live Big Live! program kicking off soon, we may determine that it’s the perfect way for you to make your big breakthroughs, to start living your next chapter.

Let’s talk and see if this is your time to step into living big!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The power of your mindset may surprise you

I have lots of conversations with women who are contemplating their lives and their futures. I listen to them describe the desires they have and the challenges that stand in their way. As I listen, I tune in to their orientation to themselves and the world.

I listen for signs of a mindset that is limited, or what Carol Dweck calls a “fixed mindset,” as well as indicators that they have what Dweck calls a “growth mindset” in her renowned book, Mindset.

I call that an expansive mindset.

Why do I pay attention to that?

Because the deep work I do with my clients leads to success for those with many characteristics of an expansive mindset.

Someone with a deeply fixed mindset is not able to benefit in the same way. A fixed mindset will not only frustrate her, it will frustrate me.

Your mindset can support you to becoming a powerful creator

Your outlook on the world impacts how you live each day — and how you can begin to live an even more satisfying life tomorrow than today.

And while none of us embodies a expansive mindset in every dimension of our lives, those of us who begin with (or endeavor to fully develop) an expansive mindset have a smoother path to creating a life that truly satisfies them — what I call living big.

What, specifically, does an expansive mindset look like?

• You have an expansive mindset when you appreciate your gifts and talents. And you believe that you can develop and expand those talents and skills.

• You see potential and believe that you can figure things out, rather than being pessimistic or allowing yourself to feel defeated.

• You learn to add a powerful little word to sentences like these: “I don’t know how to do that,” or “I can’t accomplish my goal.” By changing statements like those to: “I don’t know how to do that yet,” and “I haven’t yet accomplished my goal,” you are open and ready and motivated to continue and succeed.

• You believe that you can always learn and grow.

• You believe that you can figure things out — yourself, or with help.

• You try new things without fear. You experiment, and when early attempts fall short, you refine and try new approaches. You focus on solutions, believing in your ability as a creator to find solutions.

• You take consistent action. This means you focus on the journey, not just the destination.

• You learn from every new experience — the great ones, and the tough ones — knowing all of them inform you and help you continue to learn and grow.

• You don’t compare yourself to others (which is always a bad idea). Rather, you are inspired by others, and you can support, encourage and celebrate them — even if they are “ahead” of you in some ways.

• You are true to yourself and your values.

• You keep fear at bay. This doesn't mean you don’t ever feel fear, but you learn to keep it from stopping or limiting you.

• You are open and curious, you listen, and you learn.

• You believe that life is good, even when you are moving through rough patches. When the going is tougher (which is inevitable from time to time), you shift to hope and optimism. You trust yourself.

• You surround yourself with others who are like-minded, who also approach the world with an expansive mindset.

Do you see yourself in this list?

Few of us can “check off” all the boxes on the list above! Even those who have focused on personal development and are doing well need to return to practices that keep them on course with an expansive mindset.

And those who have not yet embarked on personal development work may have more than a few unchecked boxes. That’s ok.

When you start with enough of a foundation in an expansive mindset, and a deep desire to grow and create your ideal life, you can step up to developing more of it.

And you can stay on course, too, especially when you have good tools and when you have support.

Are you looking to leverage your expansive mindset for more growth?

If you want to step up in your life to become the biggest and best version of yourself, and start creating the future you deeply desire, I invite you to share your challenges and your dreams with me. You can also learn how I may be able to help you make those dreams a reality.

Let’s hop on a call. Click here to grab a spot on my calendar. I promise you will gain new insights and perspective on what’s possible for you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Is it time to take the wheel in your life?

Most of us do not consider that every morning we have the opportunity to intentionally set our course.

We typically wake up and move through the day focused on set routines and the demands that are in front of us — emails, texts, deadlines to meet, other peoples’ agendas.

We aim to make it through the hectic day so we can wind down in the evening and go to bed — to start all over again tomorrow.

Even those of us who build in exercise, who take care to eat healthy foods, who make time to connect to important people in our lives, often live on auto-pilot.

Few people step back and consider the big picture.

Few ask questions like:

“What do I value?”
“What do I really want?”
“Where do I want to be, and what do I want to be doing at this time next year?”

And without answers to those questions, they fail to set a clear course to a destination that aligns to their values and desires, and that will lead to the richest life they can live.

Without a clear destination you can’t set a course

Most of us drift. We are not lazy, but we move through days, weeks and months and even years without considering where we want our lives to take us.

Is it easy to drift? Sure.

Is drifting the path to a life that is fully satisfying? Rarely.

Are you ready to set a course and take the wheel?

Maybe you’re feeling a wake-up call to pay attention, make decisions, and start to live with more clarity and intention.

But even those who have been feeling an urge for some time to figure out what’s next, or make a change in their lives they know they want, can feel unsure about how to start to approach decisions about big life matters.

Ask yourself these 3 questions to get started

1. Who do I need to BE to live my best life?

Everything we want for ourselves — great relationships, work that lights us up, making an impact on the world around us, creating in ways we love, and more — starts with our state of being, how we show up in the world.

Ask yourself who you need to BE to live the life you yearn for. Do you need to be more patient, more self-loving, bolder, less fearful? Do you need to slow down and be more thoughtful rather than reacting all the time?

Do some writing to explore the ways you want to show up in your life, and how you can begin to cultivate those ways of being.

2. What do I long to DO, and what do I want to HAVE in my life?

With clarity about who you want to BE to live your best life, think about the things you want to DO. Sit and write a list of 10 things or more that you want to do in the next year.

Do you want to change jobs? Plant a garden? Travel to a specific destination? Declutter and beautiful your home? Adopt a pet?

Next, think about what you want to have. You may long for tangible things, like a home in a beautiful setting or a new car, or intangible things like peace of mind or more time to read. Write down as many things as you like that you want to have this year.

3. What can my dream life look and feel like a year from now?

I am a big believer in the power of envisioning what you want. The more vivid you can make the vision look and feel, the easier it is to begin to live it.

So, sit down and write yourself a letter.

Write the letter to yourself today, from you a year from now.

Let your future-self tell you all of the great things you have done in the year. And, tell yourself how you did them all!

Describe the courage you mustered to make great decisions. Describe the wonderful changes and experiences you have had. Tell the you of today how proud you are of the person you became to make it all happen!

After you’ve written and reread your letter, put it where you can pull it out each month to read again. Add a note to your calendar for the first day of each month to remind you to read it.

Each time you read the letter you can consider how your are showing up in your life now, and what you are doing to move forward on the path you envisioned.

Get up to speed and then move onto the highway

Making significant change in your life is not a quick process that you tackle in a day nor is your ideal life a destination you arrive at after one quick ride.

True transformation takes time. It means starting with small, focused steps that prepare you to take bigger steps. These ultimately lead to the big outcomes you want.

Start gently and don’t give up. Keep momentum building — keep moving forward on your journey. That’s how you will confidently take the wheel and accelerate the process as you move ahead.

If you are committed to making meaningful change in your life — to creating the life you truly desire — and you want support to do it, we can talk. Click here to book a call with me.
I know that I would not be living the big life I love without help!

Tell me what you dream of and what’s in the way. I’ll give you new insights and perspectives.

And we can explore the possibility for you to join my Live Big Live! retreat, to step into BIG creation of your best life with an amazing group of other women who are ready to step into the lives they long for and deserve.

The next retreat starts soon, and there are only a few spots open, so schedule your Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon.

Of course, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine — and I may have something else to offer you that can help.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are your high standards hurting you?

Do you have high standards? Do you care about every detail being just right? Maybe people call you “picky” — like my kids did when they were growing up. It was said jokingly, but my “pickiness” was often annoying.

Traits like these often indicate perfectionism.

Caring about things being done well is all fine and good, but perfectionists carry things to a level that is problematic — for themselves and for people around them.

As a recovering perfectionist (I’m a Type One on the Enneagram), I know a lot about the subject.

And I can tell you, it’s exhausting to be a perfectionist.

If you relate, or you care about a perfectionist in your life, exploring this subject may help you.

The tyranny of perfectionism

It’s worth understanding the range of negative impacts of perfectionism — for both perfectionists and those around them.

The impacts of perfectionism on the perfectionist

The exhaustion of relentlessly striving for perfection adds enormous stress to life. And goodness knows, we have all endured enough stress this year that adding to it is just awful. In fact, stress can be toxic.

Perfectionism is the root cause of procrastination — another way perfectionists suffer. After all, if it has to be perfect it can feel scary to get started on any project. And the inevitable stress of needing to create something great at the 11th hour adds stress on top of stress. You can see where this is headed.

For some people, perfectionism can become so extreme that it’s debilitating. I hear from people whose jobs make them miserable due to the pressure they feel to be perfect.

And perfectionists have a hard time delegating. Everything they think they need to do themselves to get it done “right” adds to the weight they carry — at work and at home.

Each day can feel unbearable, and burnout can result.

But even for those who live with a more moderate level of perfectionism, there are downsides. They often lose perspective about what is really important as they aim for everything to be perfect. And the undercurrent of fear about not being good enough takes a psychic toll.

How perfectionists impact others

Perfectionists can be hard on those around them.

When some show up as being picky about things, it can annoy the people in their midst.

When perfectionists are judgmental of others who don’t meet their impossibly high standards, they can be tougher to be around.

And when a perfectionist feels angry about someone else not meeting their standards, things can get really rough. Even if they don’t intend to be harsh, these perfectionists can hurt people’s feelings and worse.

Leaders who struggle with perfectionism are often disliked, as well as feared. This is terrible for both perfectionists and those who work for them.

How to join the ranks of recovering perfectionists

1. Lighten up

Ok, for a perfectionist. that is easier said than done. After all, perfectionism is deeply rooted in those who struggle with it.

You might start with getting comfortable with the idea that “almost perfect” is good. Give it a solid effort and be ok with that. After all, you’re idea of “almost perfect’ is likely to be seen as terrific by many people!

Think about what is most important as well as what is the wisest way to use your time. Are you focused on making something perfect at the expense of something else that is actually more important? Is striving to make things perfect on a particular project robbing you of time that can be better spent in other ways — at work, or in your personal life? When you get clear can you take a fresh approach?

2. Trust the adage that “perfect is the enemy of good”

Try to focus on process as much as product — enjoy the journey!

And try the 80/20 approach. Launching that website when it’s 80% of what you consider “perfect” and having people access your content sooner, is so much better than delaying the site launch until you are 100% happy with every last detail. There is always time to polish or add more later.

Appreciate yourself for completing a project and getting it into the world. And appreciate that you did it sooner than if you had labored over it longer.

3. Savor the inner peace

When you practice and are gradually able to loosen the grip of perfectionism, you will notice many positive changes.

Imagine how good it will feel to work on projects a little at a time, with less procrastination and fewer last-minute crunches.

Allow yourself to enjoy the process, rather than anxiously focusing only on the outcome, and you will add pleasure to your daily life.

Consider projects complete before they are “perfect.” That will alleviate stress and feel terrific.

When you delegate with clarity, and are able to see that others will sometimes do things somewhat differently than you would, but that their way is fine, you’ll experience a huge sense of relief.

And if you need to give constructive criticism and allow them to give it another go, their eventual ability to handle that kind of matter will free you up in wonderful ways.

All of that will make you happier, raise your self-esteem, and make those around you able to appreciate you in a whole new light.

Are you ready to stop being a perfectionist?

Leave a comment to let me know if perfectionism is a factor in your life — and if so, tell me how it impacts you.

And if you want help to end the negative pull of perfectionism, let’s talk.

As someone who has significantly overcome this problem, I help many women to move past procrastination.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with new insights and perspectives, as well as ways you can begin to change your life for the better right away.

And we can explore the possibility for you to be a part of my next Live Big Live! retreat, to help you create the life you want and deserve. Of course, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Want a marvelous (and easy) way to fire up your life?

We are about to move from winter into spring! We can feel new possibilities in the air, and feel hopeful as the tide seems to be turning significantly to bring an end to the pandemic.

I am filled with optimism, even as I know we are far from a full recovery of health and safety, economic security for all, and fully addressing racial and social injustice.

I believe the best way you can propel your life forward now is to start focusing on something that's both easy to do and absolutely delightful.

Focus on joy today

Even if you have not yet been vaccinated, can you feel life opening up like I do? Does that lift your spirits? That feeling, my friend, is a glimmer of joy.

Cultivating joy sets a foundation on top of which great things can happen.

But joy is often regarded as frivolous, or not worthy of attention. If you have not tuned in to joy and all of its benefits, read on.

Why joy is important

I’m happy to share that the benefits of joy have been documented.

Joy improves heath. It reduces stress and pain, boosts our immune system, and promotes overall well-being. It makes us more resilient (something we all can certainly use). Living joyfully may even add years to your life.

In addition, joyful people have been observed to be kinder, more patient, and even more successful.

And the great thing is that joy can be actively pursued and cultivated. Sadly, many of us rush through our lives and miss opportunities for joy.

Three simple ways to bring more joy into your life

1. Look for wonder

When you actively look for wonder in your midst, there is always something marvelous to be found. Even in a seemingly unremarkable place, you can spot a moment of light and shadow, or a quirky detail, or the shape of an interesting tree as you look up at the sky, that can give you a moment of delight.

That delight you feel? That’s a bit of joy that can fuel your day.

2. Create beauty

We have endless opportunities to create moments of beauty.

What colors can you bring into a meal today — orange sweet potatoes? red beets? dark greens in your salad? How can you serve the food to be especially beautiful? What bowl or plates will you choose? I promise even the simplest food will taste better when you make it beautiful to look at, and the beauty will spark joy.

The same thing happens when you arrange items on your bookshelf with care, rather than just cramming things in. Each time you look at it you can experience a moment of pleasure.

And consider a color you hanker for, that will wake up your spirit now. Look for a scarf, or a flower, or a picture, or an item of any kind in that color, and you are sure to smile.

3. Connect to people who make you happy

When we choose to be with people who are full of positive energy, we naturally feel more joyful.

Whom can you reach out to and make a plan to meet?

We went to a sculpture park on the weekend and saw people safely enjoying the beauty of art in a great natural setting. Doing something like that with someone you enjoy will bring more joy into your life — you’ll experience the joy of being together as you feel inspired by the beauty of the art around you.

Reaching out to connect by phone works, too, and that can be done in the spur of the moment, without needing to deal with logistics.

Any way you can think of to share time with people you enjoy will add more joy to your life.

I believe that joy is our birthright

We can all bring more joy into our lives, and in doing so, we reap wonderful benefits. And the more joy you create, the more joy you will feel. The more joy you feel, the bigger the ripple effects will be — inside of you and for those around you.

The seeds of joy you plant and nurture will reap results that can be remarkable.

You deserve an abundance of joy. It’s key to living big.

How will you add more joy to your life today?

I am eager to hear!

Leave a comment and let me know how you experiment and choose to cultivate joy. I’d also love to hear about how you experience joy, and how joy supports you to live your best life.

And if, even with the addition of more joy, you don’t feel on track to live the life you yearn for, you may be thinking that a guide can help you. If so, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create — so they can step into making those visions their reality.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives, as well as ways you can begin to change your life for the better right away.

We can explore the possibility for you to be a part of my next Live Big Live! retreat, to help you create the life you want and deserve. And, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

We’re all worn out as we wait...

If you are feeling like me, and so many people with whom I’ve been in conversation recently, we’re collectively sensing a peculiar mix of excitement, longing, and uncertainty.

We are moving into month 13 of restrictions and changes due to the pandemic. That’s a crazy-long time to have been in uncertainty, much less experiencing the despair that so many have suffered.

As humans, our first impulse when a problem arrises is to reach out to others — and to be close. Close contact is the biggest thing we have been unable to have, and that has been hard.

Many of us are running low on resources to continue hanging in, waiting for the tide to truly turn.

We just do not yet know when that will be.

We are tired of seeing others only on screens. We miss embraces, we miss sitting and sharing meals together. We long to be able to sit in a crowded cafe, or attend a live performance, or travel.

Here are the best ideas I’ve had and seen lately

Zoom — yes, it continues to be a great resource!

In spite of screen fatigue and the feeling of disconnection, we can still leverage the miracle of this (and similar) technology to help us cope.

On Saturday, I led a private virtual vision board workshop for a group of 12 women who missed one another and longed to gather to share a great experience. It was an absolute pleasure to guide them through my process, and see the joy they had creating together.

And next weekend my family will have a zoom celebration for my father’s 95th birthday. Friends and relatives from around the globe will join us — something that was not possible at the beautiful party we had for my dad on his 90th birthday. Will it be the same as 5 years ago? No. Will it be special, memorable and have some advantages? Yes.

How can you think about designing a virtual way to gather in a fresh light, so that connecting to others can boost your emotions?

Get outside!

I marvel at people who have been outside every day, especially in the cold winter months we’ve experienced where I live. I have intended to get out more, but I have often stayed warm and kept busy inside.

Yesterday I not only bundled up and walked in the cold bright air, I decided not to stay close to home as I typically do. I chose to walk in a nearby park with the goal to see more people than I do in the streets around my home.

It was lovely to see families out and about, and see kids climb on a play structure.

I did not expect it, but I heard someone call my name. As I looked at the man in a wooly hat and mask, making it hard to tell who he was, I realized I recognized his voice!

It was so special to have this casual encounter and conversation with someone I had not seen in over a year.

I am motivated to take myself to more places where I can safely be near people in a way that feels “normal.” When we got home from our walk yesterday, we bought tickets to visit an outdoor sculpture museum next weekend. I cannot wait!

What can you do to expand the possibilities to safely connect with people in the real world?

Ramp up the gratitude

I know this may sound like a recurring theme, but that’s because gratitude is so powerful, and such a valuable resource that is always available to us.

If we are lucky, the vaccine rollout will swiftly protect our entire population. If we are lucky, the vaccines will protect us against the new variants (or booster shots will do that). If we are lucky, the new stimulus funds will usher in a big round of economic relief and suffering will subside.

We can wait and see, and then express gratitude.

Or, we can be grateful each day that there is forward progress underway.

We can be grateful now, knowing that we will soon be safer.

We can be grateful now, for sunny days and for spring being just round the corner.

We can be grateful now for love, for kindness, and for each smile — whether we see that smile in the eyes of a person wearing a mask, or on a zoom screen, or through a window.

When we focus on gratitude, we fill ourselves with good emotions. These buoy us and help us to bring patience and resilience to each day.

How can you make gratitude a bigger part of your life each day?

How are you creating your way through the challenges?

Leave a comment and share what is working for you now. I am eager to hear about more great ideas.

And if you have the urge to make new moves in your life or work, or are trying to figure out what’s next, or you yearn to create a future that fulfills your dreams, let’s talk.

I love to be in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create.

And the timing may be ideal. The next Live Big Live! will be launching in April, and registration has just opened.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives about your life and what’s possible. If Live Big Live! may be a good fit for you, we’ll talk about that — but if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The way to stay motivated that most of us miss out on

If you are like so many of my clients (and like I used to be, too), you rarely stop to acknowledge yourself for small accomplishments.

We are busy and have a lot to get done. Many of the things we’re focused on are ambitious — projects that cannot be tackled in a sitting or two.

Projects at work can entail many steps and stages to complete. If you own a business, marketing tasks can feel never-ending. If there's a change you are making in your home, or you are committed to a project like writing a book or mastering a new skill, it may take months or even years to bring them to conclusion.

Things we quickly complete and check off on a to-do list feel satisfying, but as we work away on the bigger projects, it’s easy to feel discouraged.

That’s when things can stall out.

We can easily get down on ourselves. And when that happens it takes lots of energy to get back on track.

All of this is draining — and it can be avoided.

There are 3 great ways to avoid these pitfalls — and the last one is my favorite

Here are sure-fire ways to stay committed and motivated, no matter what you are trying to accomplish.

First, focus on what matters most

I often remind my clients that we all have limited time, attention and energy each day, so it’s important to carefully consider how to use all three.

Set your sights on what is really important. There are always urgent things to deal with, but few of them are really important. It’s the important but not urgent things we need to devote our time, attention and energy to with care.

Think about how you can delegate, defer, or even drop some of the urgent-but-not-important things. Then choose times on your calendar to batch your efforts for those that are left, so they don’t create attentional clutter or distract you.

This frees you for focused time — choose the time of day that’s most productive for you — to attend to what is really important.

Next break down bigger projects into tiny chunks

Accomplished people are especially prone to setting big goals. And doing that is a trap.

When you schedule smaller, doable pieces of your bigger goals, you give yourself a gift. These smaller tasks are easier to complete, and can be done in smaller amounts of time. Thus you get the satisfaction of completing things, and you get that satisfaction often.

This is good for your brain and good for your spirit!

It may feel challenging at first to embrace the idea that setting your sights on small steps will be meaningful and worthy. I urge you to try it. When you begin to experience the benefits, this new approach will be a game-changer.

This is the icing on the cake: acknowledge yourself and celebrate

This last step is the one we skip all the time, even when we complete big projects. Some of us skip it because we minimize the importance of what we have just completed. Some of us simply rush on to attend to the next thing (big or small).

When we fail to pause and acknowledge ourselves for everything we accomplish, we miss something big. And skipping past the small things is the most common oversight.

We miss giving ourselves the gift of self-appreciation.

Sure, it's great to get kudos from others. But we all deserve to acknowledge ourselves — and celebrate our accomplishments — when we complete things we’ve put effort into.

So, if you’ve taken a small first step — perhaps you’ve written the first draft of the copy for the home page of your website (not all the site copy), or you listed people to reach out to for input on a project (not made all of the calls), or you created a healthy meal plan for the week (not already done all the shopping and cooking) — it’s a perfect time to acknowledge yourself for completing a small and meaningful task.

One of my coaches calls these “Yay Me” moments, and I have my clients share their “Yay Me’s” regularly.

For me, witnessing “Yay Me” moments is almost magical. When you see someone who pauses to acknowledge herself with true pride for something small, it is amazing.

So, right this minute, can you give yourself a “Yay Me” for something small? (And if there’s a “Yay Me” for something big, by all means do that, too!)

For extra credit, can you share your “Yay Me” with someone?

I would love to hear your “Yay Me”!

Leave a comment or email me and let me know what came to mind for you to appreciate in this way. And let me know how it felt to savor and celebrate it.

I want to celebrate with you!

And if there are big questions or challenges that hamper you from making an important move forward in your life, and you want to find a guide to help you, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create.

I promise our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives. Perhaps I can help you create the life you want and deserve — and, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.