Pair gratitude and vision to live big!

Now that Thanksgiving is in the rear view mirror, many of us have focused on gratitude and moved on.

After all, today’s the first day of December, and I hear that people are already decorating for Christmas.

For many it’s exciting to be on to the next holiday, and the next effort to bring some light to a time when it's dark, getting colder, and there’s a clear realization that our need to stay separate from friends and family is going to continue for quite a while.

Let’s not leave a focus on gratitude behind now!

Gratitude has deep meaning for me — I devoted a chapter to the topic in my book Live Big. It’s certainly not a one-time-a-year subject.

As I work with my clients, the opportunity to practice gratitude inevitably comes into the work. And while the concept is met with varying degrees of enthusiasm, when my clients make it a focus it always proves to be valuable.

And last week I was honored to be part of a Gratitude Gathering that my coach and colleague, Peleg Top, created. Take a listen to the wonderful program here. (My segment is the first after Peleg’s opening remarks.)

I also highly recommend this episode of Hidden Brain, hosted by Shankar Vedantam and featuring David DeSteno, Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University. You will gain fascinating insight into the ways that gratitude improves health and well-being, and how a practice of gratitude can actually help you achieve your goals.

How can gratitude fuel a richer life for you?

As discussed in the three Gratitude Gathering segments, and in the Hidden Brain podcast episode, you can bring gratitude into your life in a range of interesting ways.

Choose the way or ways that feel most appealing to you and see what happens in your life.

Your foundation of gratitude can inform a fresh vision, too.

As you bring more gratitude into your life, you are able to set a brighter, bigger vision for yourself.

I have two invitations for you.

1. Join me on December 13, when I’ll again partner with Peleg Top, as a guest teacher for a virtual Vision Board Party. Making a vision board now is a great way to step into 2021 with clarity. I would love for you to be there.

2. To give yourself a bigger gift to create your best future— to set a big new vision with extraordinary clarity and deep guidance and support — Live Big Live! may be a perfect fit for you. This powerful new program, that I created last summer, was life-changing for the first group of women who experienced it. (You can see and hear these women describe their experiences and outcomes yourself.)

The next Live Big Live! will launch soon, and will support another great group of like-minded women to close out 2020 on a high note and move into 2021 as remarkable creators of the visions they are guided to define for their futures.

The first step to explore this opportunity is to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. (Book a call soon, as the next Live Big Live! is right around the corner and there are only a few spots still available.) Whether or not we both think Live Big Live! is right for you now, I will be glad for us to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

It's time to demystify “creativity” and start living it!

I have a question for you: Are you open and willing to be creative?

I know that for many people this is a scary proposition. For others the question broaches a topic that is interpreted in so many ways that it’s hard to know how to begin to think about it.

Here’s some perspective that may help you consider the question for yourself.

Being creative means...

So many brilliant people have offered definitions of what it means to be creative. I will throw out a few ways you can think about creating that I hope will dim any fear or confusion.

Being creative means…

• being willing to think about things in a new way

• being willing to take a chance and do something new and different

• being excited about new possibilities and dreaming up what those might look like

• being willing to play and experiment

• slowing down — instead of reacting reflexively — and considering what your best options are or what might be possible

When you consider being creative in these ways, I hope it does not feel so hard to imagine yourself being a creator.

I hope it doesn't feel like creating is only for those “talented” people, like painters and novelists and musicians.

Rather, creating is something we can all do all the time, and being a creator can lead us all into a better future!

Consider this scenario

I was in a conversation with a brilliant business owner. We talked about the challenges of connecting to new prospects for her high-touch service business now that their tried and true approaches of the past have become impossible to use in the pandemic.

Yes, things are different now.

And, there is an opportunity to try something new — to not only connect, but to make a distinctive impression and make a meaningful connection in a surprising way. We brainstormed about several exciting possibilities.

When the question arose about how people would likely respond to such novel approaches, I suggested she might ask some current clients how they’d respond to the ideas. Outreach like that has a bonus, too. It’s an opportunity to connect to key current clients and hear how they are doing and what’s on their minds. She was excited to bring the new ideas to her senior team.

All of these possibilities grew from a concern about how hard it is to operate within the constraints of these times. By thinking in new ways, by getting curious and playful as we considered what might be possible, new ideas started to emerge quickly.

I can’t wait to hear the outcome of their new efforts.

When we focus on what’s possible, things change

It’s easy to feel stuck and stymied — about personal matters and in our businesses, our work and our careers.

When we can relax and begin to generate ideas without feeling like every one of them has to be great, we start to find directions that are exciting to explore and test. We have a whole new level of energy. Our spirits are lifted. We are motivated and excited.

We have never needed to be creative more than now!

And keep in mind that we get what we focus on. So, check in with yourself frequently and take note of where you are focusing.

What do you plan to focus on now?

Can you shift gears and focus on new possibilities? New ways of living that will bring you new levels of joy and satisfaction? New ways of serving your clients or doing your work? New ways of interacting with others, in every sphere of your life?

Can you bring a focus to gratitude for all the good in your life right now — especially in this holiday week when we collectively focus on thankfulness?

With gratitude as a foundation, you can more easily layer on the open mindset of being a creator, as you bring your focus to what matters to you.

Cultivate the joy of creating and watch what happens!

As the days are long, dark, cold and often wet, you can chose to activate the joy of creating.

Here are four possibilities:

1. Join me for an evening of shared creative fun at IgNight — now on Zoom, so you can join from anywhere! Each month we gather to create in a new, inspiring way.

2. Get your copy of Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life and dive into the terrific practices that will help you to create exciting change in your life.

3. Make a vision board with me on December 13, when I join my long-time mentor and colleague, Peleg Top, as a guest teacher for a virtual Vision Board Party! Making a vision board now is a great way to step into 2021 with clarity.

4. Check out Live Big Live!, the powerful new program I created last summer that was life-changing for the first group of women who experienced it. The next Live Big Live! will launch soon, and will support another great group of like-minded women to close out 2020 on a high note and move into 2021 as remarkable creators of the visions they define for their futures.

Stay safe and well, enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving, and keep creating.

Now is the time to shape your vision. Here’s how.

It’s easy — and comfortable — to focus only on the day-today, where you are now. When you keep doing the things that come easily, things you do out of habit, and living the way you’re used to, on and on without question, you cheat yourself.

When you never sit back and take a long view you fail to consider big questions and new possibilities.

What you do now matters in the long term!

Because when you live without pausing to consider what you really want, and what it will take to shift to make that desire our reality, you stay stuck where you are.

After all, when you keep doing things the same way, you are sure to get the same results.

It may feel challenging to get your head around asking big questions about the life you want to live, and what changes may be needed to make it a reality.

Why not set aside a few minutes to get clear? My 6-part framework is a great way to approach the process.

Look ahead and consider 6 key domains of your life

Sit back in a quiet spot and get comfortable. Have a notebook handy, and maybe a cup of tea.

Close your eyes and think about your life a few months from now, and a year from now. Ask yourself what you want that life to look like. What can you envision that connects to the desires in your heart?

Think about your work

Do you want to make changes — either in the kind of work you do, where you do it, the level you yearn to reach, or who you want to work with each day? Do you want your work to have a bigger impact, or a new focus?

Think about your relationships

Are there any relationships in your life that you realize your are tolerating, that you want to change, or maybe end? Are there some relationships you miss and want to add? Are there some you want to focus on and improve? Are there some wonderful relationships that you want to make a bigger part of your day-to-day life?

Think about your environment

Consider your living space and your work space. Does your environment support your well-being? Are there pockets of clutter around you that sap your energy? Is your environment calm, does it function well, is it a pleasure to live in? Do you have adequate comfort? Do you have access to nature, if that matters to you? What would make your environment more supportive of your day-to-day happiness?

Think about your physical and emotional well-being

Are you eating well? Are you getting enough regular exercise? Do you move in ways that make you happy, or do you want to switch things up? How is the quality of your sleep? Do you get enough rest each day? Are you irritable or content?

Think about your spirit

Does your spirit soar, or do you feel discontent or restless? Do you have a spiritual practice, or wish for a more satisfying one? Do you feel connected to your purpose? Do you trust and believe in yourself? Do you feel inspired and hopeful?

Think about the legacy you want to leave

Have you paused to think about your legacy? What are you doing now that will leave a mark that matters to you — be it with those closest to you, or that will impact your community, or maybe the world? What can you bring into your life, or make a focus, that will leave a meaningful legacy?

After spending time with these questions, you may have a few notes or pages of thoughts!

Consider what showed up in your notes

Do you realize that you want to step into a bigger, clearer, more intentional life? Do you envision being on a path to a life that will light you up in bigger ways?

The vision for your future might be focused on your work, on more personal expression, on the quality of your relationships, or a combination of factors that will bring you joy and satisfaction.

Savor the images that light up your heart. Sit with them, and begin to see them as your future reality.

Now is the perfect time to make your vision a reality

It can feel wonderful to envision a new future, and in the next breath it can feel really scary to think about stepping out of your comfort zone.

It can feel daunting to imagine yourself making the changes you envision in any (or several) of the domains — or even figuring out what first steps you can take.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed and so afraid that you do nothing.

But doing nothing to stay comfortable in the short-term eclipses the possibilities for big benefits down the road.

Maybe, if you think about it, it’s actually scarier to keep living the same way you are now, and never creating the life you truly desire.

Let’s talk about your fears, and the life you really want

If you are serious about exploring what it looks like to begin making your vision a a reality, let’s have a conversation.

On a Live Big Breakthrough Call you can share both the changes you want to make in your future, and the fears and obstacles that are in the way. I promise that you will gain new insights and perspective.

And if you want to hear about my coaching programs (including the next Live Big Live!), and if I believe the fit is good, we’ll talk about the possibilities for working together.

I believe that everything great begins with a meaningful conversation. I welcome you to make a date with me today.

Are you ready for a new beginning?

This is a big week for me.

It started on a great note — the tension of waiting for the election outcome ended, and the result fills me with optimism and hope for all that is possible for our country.

I am thrilled, too, that a woman has been elected to be our next vice president. And, equally momentous, it is great that a woman of color will hold this high office.

And I will be celebrating my birthday this week. I am grateful to look ahead to a year of so many new possibilities.

New beginnings feel wonderful.

We need not wait for a landmark election, or a birthday, or anything else to think about what is possible for ourselves.

We are always able to take a fresh look, connect to what we truly want to create in our lives, and begin.

For me, living big began with finding a clear vision, asking, “What do I want to create?”

It took some time to shape the clear vision I have today — to lead a movement, so that women (and men) everywhere believe in their ability to powerfully create the lives they want.

And here’s where my vision gets even bigger: As more and more people step into creating the futures that matter to them, they inspire everyone they touch. Vast numbers of people wlll believe that they, too, can be remarkable creators of the futures they desire.

What can it look like to start creating a new vision?

The first step is having clarity about what you want. And having considered that big question, you need to get clear about who you need to be to make your desires a reality.

You may focus on these big questions and find your answers, or you may want to be guided to this clarity — and to begin stepping into a new beginning.

I’ll share a few examples to illustrate what it looks like to get clear about what you want and to step into becoming the person you need to be to make that a reality.

Can you relate to these stories?

• One of the remarkable women who was at my Live Big Live! retreat last month, realized she needed to show up each day in a new way to move forward to a future where she has more agency in her life and more influence in her work. She has begun setting clear boundaries, speaking with more intention, and making self-care a high priority. She is already seeing a big change in the impact she is having in her work, as well as in her close relationships. She is on her way to knowing the career move to pursue next, and she is living a more rewarding life each day.

• Another woman realized how important joy is in her life, and she connected to a deep desire to bring joy to others. She yearns for people everywhere to understand how meaningful it is to choose to bring more joy into everyday life. She is filled with excitement about the many ways she is already stepping into her vision, and the impact she is seeing in others.

• A third woman, who had recently launched a new consulting practice, has more clarity than ever about what she stands for, how she wants to shape her business, how big it can be, and how much of an impact she can have in her industry. She is already signing on new clients who are inspired by her clear leadership and responding to the new ways she’s started to reach out.

How are you inspired? What do you want to create?

If you are feeling optimistic and encouraged about the future we are moving into in our nation, how can you bring that same energy into your life?

Are you content with your status quo, or can you envision new levels of growth, new possibilities, and more joy and satisfaction?

It may feel daunting to imagine taking steps to live a bigger life. For many people, just getting clear about they want is challenging.

If you hear a voice saying that it’s time to get clear about what’s possible, honor that voice. Listen to it, and take a small step to get curious and explore what living big can look like for you.

You might do some journal-writing or share your thoughts and questions with a trusted friend.

When ideas start taking shape you might create a vision board. (Stay tuned to hear about a virtual vision board party I’ll be leading next month.)

You may want to start testing the waters and try out new ways of thinking, new ways of showing up, new steps to take.

Remember — you don’t have to do it all on your own.

A significant step I took, that led to my biggest growth and transformation, was getting help. I let go of the old belief that I had to do everything myself, and that decision proved to be a huge breakthrough in my life.

If you want to talk about what it might look like to step into a new beginning, and what doing that could be like with support and guidance, I invite you to have a conversation with me. I offer my Live Big Breakthrough Call to women who are ready to set their next vision, who are longing for a life that will light them up as never before.

My promise is that you will gain new insights and perspective on what may be holding you back now, as well as what is possible for you. And if you find you are curious about my coaching programs, and if I believe the fit is good, we can talk about the possibilities for working together.

Let’s all step into this time of new beginnings and create a beautiful future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to stay steady in a peak emotional time

If you feel like most people I know, the last days and weeks have been incredibly challenging. On top of concerns about increasing COVID cases, extreme weather, and escalating political tension, election day — tomorrow — is filling most of us with intense emotion.

It feels to me like being in a state of suspended animation. Many people describe it as a collective holding of breath.

And holding your breath for any extended period of time — either physically or metaphorically — is never a good idea.

Why?

When you hold your breath for more than a short time, a cascade of problematic physical responses result. You decrease oxygen flow to the brain, your heart rate drops, CO₂ and other dangerous gases build up in your blood, and none of that is healthy.

And when you feel as though you are holding your breath emotionally, you put yourself in a heightened state of anxiety. Anxiety impacts your mood, and it also impacts your body. Your heart may pound, you may develop headaches, experience GI problems, have trouble sleeping, and more.

Today, and in the days to come, you can support yourself to stay emotionally steady with these 3 practices.

1. Start breathing with intention

Yes, your breath is a tool that can help you in many ways. When you breathe deeply and slowly, the stress responses in your body are reduced.

Sit quietly for a minute or two — or a bit longer. Breathe in fully, all the way into your belly. Pause a moment and then exhale very slowly. As few as three long slow belly breaths like this will help.

As you breathe this way, you will feel a gentle release of tension. Let your shoulders drop and relax. Aim to bring that softness into all the muscles in your body — from the top of your head, to your jaw and neck, and down to your toes.

Repeat breathing breaks like this often.

2. Move your body

Choose a way that appeals to you to get yourself in motion.

If you are a runner, or love yoga, those are great ways to get moving. But there are very simple ways that work well, too.

In just five to 10 minutes you can stretch and shake out your body. Get some music on and dance. Or take a brisk walk around the block.

Getting the blood flowing like this releases natural chemicals that enhance your sense of well-being.

3. Get creative

When you start creating you have a great outlet for anxiety or other difficult emotions.

You can write a poem or pour your thoughts out in a journal. Try using color and draw or paint. You might cook, play music, dance, sing, garden, build something, knit, or create in any way you can think of.

Why not invite someone to create with you? Is there someone you live with who would enjoy sharing some creative time mid-day? Or take a short creative break on Zoom with a friend or a small group.

Creating is a remarkable effective way to unload big emotion, feel more energy and maybe even feel joy.

Whatever happens in the world around us, we need to be our best selves.

We all need to show up, we all need to go on. We need to bring our best selves to everything we do.

Start with you.

When you are on steady footing, you will be a better leader to everyone around you.

You will be a better partner and friend, a better parent, a better colleague, and better at the work you do in the world. Your work matters now as much or more than ever.

We have all lived through fraught times before. We can move forward in the face of challenges.

On this important day remember that we all need to keep leading.

That’s how we move into a better future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who do you need to BECOME to live big now?

Here we are, in the last week of October, looking ahead to a momentous election and the last 2 months of 2020.

Yup, there are only 65 days left in this year.

You may be hearing and reading about meeting end-of-year sales goals and doing year-end assessments.

Maybe you are thinking back to the ambitions you had for this year that got interrupted, and perhaps derailed, by the pandemic.

Rather than feeling stressed or anxious, I am offering you a couple of questions to consider:

What will help you to end the year on a strong note? 

What states of mind, what ways of being, can you address now, to make these last 2 months the best they can be — and to be your most resourceful and resilient self as you move into 2021?

As you read these questions, are you wondering how to start thinking about answering them? 

Consider this.

Your state of being is key to the quality of your life

Your state of being — how you show up in the world, your mindset each day — is the foundation upon which everything rests. It impacts your relationships, your work, your personal well-being — your entire life.

To BECOME more grounded, clear and confident, follow these 3 steps.

Step 1: Assess your current state

Take a look at this list of common challenges and consider which are limiting you now. (Trust me, we all are hampered by some or many of these, to one degree or another!) 

How many of these trouble you?

• A lack of confidence

• Feeling unmotivated

• People pleasing

• Putting yourself last

• Skipping self-care

• Comparing yourself to others, making you feel like you are not good enough

• Feeling like an imposter

• Difficulty setting healthy boundaries

• Feeling indecisive

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Feeling fearful

Mindset challenges like these are likely to have been in place long before the pandemic, though they may now be more of a hindrance. Or maybe some new ones have recently cropped up for you.

And maybe you are thinking of a challenge that is not on this list. If so, make a note of it now.

Next, jot down all of the challenges that hamper you these days. And for each one, note the level of negative impact they have for you.

Use a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most distressing.

Are you surprised at what you see?

If your list is long, or the scale is high, do not feel discouraged. You now have more clarity — that’s a good thing! — and you can begin to move forward to address these limitations.

Step 2: Focus on small change for one challenge 

With the clarity you have now, consider the single biggest limiting mindset challenge you identified — or the one that feels most urgent to address.

Yes, it can be big work to address such challenges. And I am glad to tell you that making change like this is doable — but the most effective way do it is to bring your attention to making small, focused changes to one thing at a time.

It’s tempting to try and change many things at once, but that’s not wise. When you are scattered and inconsistent in your efforts you are unlikely to achieve the changes you desire. That leads to feeling discouraged and giving up.

Begin by paying attention to the one thing you most want to address now.

And do not minimize the importance of taking very small steps to start shifting into a better frame of mind.

Consider taking small steps like these

When you feel overwhelmed, indecisive, or feel hampered by any of the stresses listed above, try adopting a conscious practice like simply slowing down and taking 2 to 3 minutes to breathe in quiet. Done consistently, this can be a surprisingly fast way to connect to your calm, wise self. It will help you more than you might imagine.

Or, if you are skimping on self-care, or notice you are people-pleasing, or realize that you frequently put yourself last, consider ways to treat yourself with more self-love. You might schedule 10 minutes for yourself each day — be it to soak in a tub before bed, to read quietly, or to take a mid-day walk. 

Small practices like these, when regularly incorporated into your life, will have a meaningful impact.

You may also want to look at the helpful practices and exercises I’ve included in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, to help you address and overcome the limitations that concern you. Choose the practices you feel will most help you to make the changes you seek.

Step 3: Keep going, even if you are not always consistent!

When you bring commitment to incorporating a new practice into your life — even if you do it imperfectly and miss a day here and there — be sure to acknowledge yourself for making that commitment.

It’s when you get back on track and continue to build new practices that meaningful change becomes your new normal.

Much like brushing your teeth each day, you will soon stop needing to remind yourself to take those breaks, or treat yourself well, or set healthy boundaries. Practices like these become your new way of being, and you are then able to bring attention to the next area where you seek to make change. 

Can you imagine what it can look to become more of the woman you want to be by the end of 2020?

What would it look like for you to show up and do what’s important to you without those old ways of being?

What might your new year look like if you were able to shift into being a creator of the life you want, rather than feeling like it’s so hard to make the moves you long for?

Begin now! Start to take small steps to become all you yearn to be.

There’s no time like the present to get started.

And if you want personal support, to help you overcome the limitations that are hampering you with more ease and consistency, let’s make a date for a complimentary Live Big Breakthrough Call.

I’ll be happy to help you gain insights and new perspectives about the challenges that limit you and how you can move forward in your life in exciting ways.

And, if we both think the fit is right, I can share the way that my new signature program, Live Big Live!, might help you become a powerful creator of the future you yearn for.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you talk a good game? How to get into action!

Are you someone who talks a good game, but the reality is often that there’s more talk than action?

If so, you are not alone. I see accomplished people do this all the time.

They talk about starting a new, consistent exercise program, or networking more (for business development or to start a job search), or scheduling a long overdue medical appointment, or making time for a deep dive into a new interest, or meditating regularly, or researching something new.

Sometimes they’ve looked into the best places to network, but never registered to attend an event.

Many have thought long and hard about how and when and for how long to meditate, and maybe even asked around and downloaded a good app, but never actually started a meditation practice.

Some have purchased all the supplies needed for a new project, but have never used them.

The sad repercussions of never starting, or stalling out

When we declare that we want to do something — saying it only to ourselves, or telling others — and then do not follow through, a downward cycle can take root.

We feel frustrated and disappointed in ourselves. If we have told other people, we are likely to feel embarrassed, and even ashamed.

The voice of the self-critic inevitably starts to hammer away.

We berate ourselves, we lose confidence, we can lose hope. We compare ourselves to others. We can not only feel stuck, we can get demoralized.

As this kind of negative thinking continues, it becomes increasingly hard to get started, or to resume an early effort.

Action is the answer.
You can create the ideal conditions to ease your way.

I’m glad to tell you that there is a three-part formula to pull out of feeling stuck and frustrated.

Here is how to lay a solid foundation for taking action:

Begin with willingness

Change, growth, or anything you really want can only occur if you are willing to embrace the unknown and engage in the effort.

If it’s important enough to you to step out of your comfort zone, you have the first step in place.

Add belief

You need to believe that you matter, and that you deserve the thing you want, and that you can be a creator of what is important to you.

We become what we believe.

Can you believe in yourself, and believe that it’s possible to take a small step forward — even when it feels challenging? 

Now it's time to commit

With willingness and belief in place, commitment is the final ingredient that is needed to move forward from concept (thinking about it, wishing for it, talking about it) to taking consistent action that will bring results.

Three keys to implementing an action plan

The idea of taking action, when you’ve struggled, can feel intimidating. We tend to feel that big bold action is what’s needed, and is all that counts.

If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while, you will not be surprised to read points one and two. Add the third step and you’ll be on your way to sustained action.

1. Imperfect action is the perfect way to begin

The feeling that you need to do things perfectly, right from the start, can keep you from starting at all. We put so much pressure on ourselves!

The key is to embrace imperfect action. 

When you set out to write a crummy first draft, or imperfectly test the waters in any other way, you give yourself permission to do that thing badly. With that expectation, it’s so much easier to start.

When you start anything, you are in motion. You can then gain momentum with greater ease.

2. Small steps really work

People who have run marathons (and I am not among them!), have told me how they started by deciding to go for it, and running very short distances to start. They slowly built their endurance. I have one friend who began that way and went on to complete an Iron Man triathlon — and she had never run in her youth!

Small steps are powerful. There’s no need to start big, which can lead to frustration and can make that thing you want to do feel unattainable.

If, for example, you want to start a meditation practice, you might start by planning to sit quietly for 5 minutes twice a week. Experiment. What’s the best the time of day for you? You might try both silent and guided meditation. Find a setting that works best for you. You can gradually increase the number of minutes and/or number of times per week from there. 

3. Stick with it until you hit your stride

A client of mine reminded me of this point in a coaching session this morning. She had taught yoga, and she told her students they needed to take 10 classes before they would know if yoga was for them or not.

When you experience a yoga class on different days, your body is in a different state each time you get on the mat. If you take just one class and decide it’s not for you, you miss the experience of your body opening to this new practice over time. 

As a painter, I had a similar experience. It was in committing to enrolling in a painting class for a full semester that I was able to slowly find my way and realize that I wanted painting to be an ongoing part of my life.

Is this the day you will move from talk to action? 

If you have been struggling to get something underway, try the steps outlined above. You may want to ask someone to be an accountability partner for you — to work on the same initiative in tandem, or simply be there for you to check in with, so you can more easily get started and stay on track.

And if you want focused support — and accountability — to start and sustain your efforts to bring important change into your life, let’s make a date for a complimentary Live Big Breakthrough Call. I’ll be happy to help you gain insights and new perspectives, to help you see how you can move forward in your life in exciting ways. And, if we both think the fit is right, I can share the ways we might work together.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Have you thought about the choices you are making?

Welcome to October! I am feeling joy and gratitude when I am in the splendor of nature in all its glory. Color fills my view each time I step outside, and my heart swells!

This upbeat feeling is especially appreciated as the emotional intensity in the world around us seems to be escalating daily. How can we find, and hold, energy that lights us up, that keeps us grounded, rather than being pulled into the chaotic energy that abounds? 

Your choices impact your outlook

You see what you look for

Have you stopped to consider where you tend to put your attention? When you look for beauty (of any kind) you see more of it. And the more you look for, the more you see, the happier it makes you.

This works in much the same way when you choose to listen to uplifting stories or music, or choose to create meals with colors and aromas and flavors that especially delight you.

You can choose with whom to spend time

Think about the people you choose to be with and the kinds of conversations you choose to have. These choices have a huge impact on the way you feel and the way you see the world.

We all know people who bring us down. Their negativity can pull you in and be hard to shake. If someone like that is a family member with whom you want to be in contact, limit the exposure — or better yet, try and steer conversations in a positive direction.

Focus on connecting to people who lift you up. Who can you think of who sees the world as a place filled with inspiring stories and possibilities, even in hard times?

You can say “No” to news overload

Just as we can focus on interacting with people who lift our spirits and inspire a positive outlook, we can limit the time we spend listening to, watching and reading the news.

We can also carefully choose sources for news that are free of hype and bias. 

If you have not yet tried going on a “news diet” it may feel like a challenge. More and more people are finding this to be a great way to keep themselves positively focused.

You get to make new choices

Why not try some of these ideas and see what happens?

• If you have been cooped up inside, spend more time outside.

• If you have been feeling low, read something inspiring, watch a great TED talk, listen to a fascinating podcast, or dive into a creative project and express yourself.

• If online TV binges have made you feel sluggish, get curious about something new. Read about it, find demo videos, or give a new technique a try. (Maybe you will take up a new craft, cook a new cuisine, learn to build something, plant bulbs, study a period of history, pick up an instrument you haven’t touched in ages...)

• If you feel lonely or isolated, look for ways to make virtual connections or find like-minded communities of people online.

• If you are concerned about the election and the world around you, take action. You might volunteer for a campaign or to support voting rights. You can register to be on the next Creators of Change call. There are many incredible ways to get involved, rather than letting distress bring you down.

What choices will you make today? 

No matter the externalities, you always get to choose the way you see the world, and the way you can live through each day.

Making thoughtful choices aimed at supporting a positive frame of mind will impact everything in your life.

Leave a comment or email me and let me know how your choices are making a difference.

And if you want to talk about how to usher meaningful change into your life, we can make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I will help you gain clarity and insights about what is in the way of you stepping into the big life you yearn to make your reality.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you looking for inspiration and light?

Poster available from Society 6

If you are feeling deeply concerned, as I am, about the state of our nation and the world, you may be sad, anxious, discouraged or worse. You are not alone.

In my article and blog post last week, I wrote about choosing optimism, using the pain of a broken heart to fuel passion, how we have agency in our lives and can always take action, that we can create inspiration, and the power of both community and love are vast.

I needed to reread it today, and to think more about where inspiration and motivation for action can be found now.

Because when I feel so overwhelmed at the injustice around me and the horror of over 200,000 lives lost and countless lives impacted by COVID, and feel alarming concern that the fundamentals of our democracy are more at risk than ever, I need inspiration. I need to find ways to help myself, and to help others, from becoming gripped with fear.

My book, Live Big, has a chapter about how to live without fear. And I think it’s a good chapter. But the fear so many of us are living with now is of a different nature than what I wrote about — long before we found ourselves at this stunning moment in history.

Where I am turning for inspiration now

I am finding hope, strength and optimism from all that I am reading and hearing about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

This remarkable woman was a fearless and tireless advocate for what she believed in, and it’s because of her commitment to equality that we have rights many people don’t even know were not always available to us.

Here are just a few examples. 

Widowed men now get Social Security benefits accrued by their deceased wives to help them raise their children. Women can apply for and get credit cards and mortgages without a male co-signer, and can have credit cards and mortgages in their own names. Women in the military now get equal housing allowances to men.

And, I have learned, that her passionately written dissenting opinions over the years, later influenced positive legal changes. 

She brought her passion and brilliance to everything she did. She was committed to pursuing what she believed was right and just, and we are all the beneficiaries of her tireless work.

And, she famously had a close relationship with Antonin Scalia, with whom she sharply differed on many legal matters. This is something one can hardly imagine in today’s polarized atmosphere.

I am looking for the light and committed to being the light

There is always light to be found when we look for it. 

Where can you find inspiration and a positive way forward now?

And, we can each be the light. 

We can stay inspired, and we can stay in action — by speaking up about what matters to us, by helping people to vote, by helping to help elect candidates we believe will restore our country’s values, and by continuing to do our important work in the world. 

In all of these ways we are the light for others.

This may be the inspiration you need today

Paraphrasing something that is beautifully explained, I want to share this final insight with you.

You may have heard people say, when speaking about Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death, “May her memory be for blessing.” 

This does not mean “May we remember her fondly” or “May her memory be a blessing to us.” The blessing implied is this: may you be like Ruth. 

Jewish thought teaches that when a person dies, it is up to those who bear her memory to keep her goodness alive. We do this by remembering her, we do this by speaking her name, we do this by carrying on her legacy. We do this by continuing to pursue justice, righteousness, and sustainability. 

So, when you hear people say “May her memory be for blessing” don’t hear “It's nice to remember her.” Rather, hear “It’s up to us to carry on her legacy.”

May her memory be for blessing. 
May her memory be for revolution. 
May we become a credit to her name.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How we can move through this time of change

September is a time for new beginnings of all kinds. Even if you were not among those fortunate to have been able to get away this summer, or if life feels like a long string of similar days, there’s a shift that most of us feel after Labor Day.

Interconnected themes and inspiration have been showing up for me recently, that I am glad to share. 

7 things I am thinking about in this time of transition

1. We can choose optimism or pessimism. 

In his sermon on Rosh Hashana (the Jewish holiday to welcome the Jewish new year), our rabbi talked about optimism and pessimism. He pointed out that both can exist simultaneously, and that both can be motivators to take action. I would add that we always get to choose the frame for how we want to look at the world.

2. A broken heart can fuel passion. 

I heard the heartbreaking news about Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s death just after our Rosh Hashana evening service ended on Friday night. RBG was a giant of a woman who was fearlessly and passionately committed to work for equality and justice. We have the opportunity, and responsibility, to continue the work she advanced with so much grace, talent, tenacity and determination.

3. We have agency and we can take action. 

It’s easy to fall into despair when there are so many big issues on our minds. Regardless of the frame we chose as motivation (optimism or pessimism), when we think about what great people like Ruth Bader Ginsberg were able to accomplish, we can step up and take action to make this a better world. While few of us will have an opportunity like sitting on the Supreme Court, all of us can take action. History offers us many examples about how the combined efforts of great numbers of people have brought meaningful change to the world. 

4. When you look for it, you can find inspiration. 

I heard Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast with Sonya Renee Taylor yesterday, talking about the book The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. The conversation they had about this book was mind-expanding. Taylor takes the concept of self-love, that I teach in my work, to remarkable new heights. Opportunities to hear conversations like this can change the frame through which we see and understand the world, and ourselves. 

5. We can create inspiration. 

At my monthly IgNight Creative Evening on Thursday, when we created together on Zoom, the energy was electric. The theme for the evening was “reframing.” We expressed in words, we drew abstract concepts, and we dove into a great way to explore with color. We played and experimented. We shared and inspired one another. The uplifting spirit of the evening made me think about the opportunities we have to bring light and fun into many parts of our lives.

6. There is great power in community. 

The pandemic made it impossible to be with my community for services on Friday and Saturday. It made it impossible to be with family and friends after my mother’s death last month. It made it impossible to have IgNight in my studio. It has made it impossible to meet in person with colleagues and clients. And yet, we have been connected, and we’ve shared in community in new ways. And while some of what we miss when not in the same room is a loss, we have had new benefits. We can now connect with people who are located well beyond what would be possible in person. And the connections are deep and satisfying, even when we only see each other on a screen.

7. The power of love is vast.

Love is the thread that connects and inspires everything in my life. I believe that when we lead with love, when we look at the world through the lens of love, when we take action fueled by love, and when we bring love into everything we do, we live our biggest and best lives. 

How are you moving through this time of change?

What are you seeing and experiencing now? Are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic? Are you inspired to take action in your life? Are you motivated to impact something in the world? 

Drop me a note or leave a comment to let me know.

And if you want to talk about how to bring new inspiration into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. 

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about what may be hampering you or changes you are seeking to make, and how you can bring new inspiration and intentional change into your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Use these 3 steps to move from despair to inspiration

Have you stopped to consider that there is nearly always more than one way to look at things?

I have become even more alert to the possibilities of looking at things through a different lens recently, and it has shifted so much for me.

Examples of issues we can look at in new ways, that quickly come to mind, relate to many big tensions in the world around us.

The ongoing pandemic, the political climate as the election nears, deep concerns about environmental change as we see storms and fires fiercer than ever before, and a renewed focus on demanding the end to social and racial injustice are some of the big challenges.

For many people, the sense of overwhelm is huge. And it’s exhausting. 

It’s absolutely normal to feel concerned about such important matters, but there are options and opportunities to rise above the despair.

We get to chose the way we look at things,
and we can chose the way we respond

When we are able to stay calm and clear-headed, we think better. This allows us to stop being reactive. And from that calmer starting point, we can think positively.

We can make better decisions.

When we avoid spinning into despair, the choices we are able to make for what to do next can be more meaningful, and they can have more impact.

As a glass-half-full person, I realize I have an advantage. But anyone can decide to chose the lens through which to look at things.

Here is how you can make a positive shift.

1. Create the best environment for your wellbeing

We create our experiences, and we create our environment.

Things to delete

News cycles and social media feeds can be toxic. They are built to bombard us with sensationalized information and hype.

I am keen to be informed, but I (and many others) have found that going on a “news diet” has worked wonders. A check-in with a source you trust, once or twice a day, is more than enough to keep up with current happenings.

And, limiting social media “rabbit-hole” excursions not only keeps overwhelm down, it gives you the gift of precious time.

Consider, too, the conversations you choose to have. You can establish boundaries with those who focus only on the negative, or worse yet, rant.

Filter out stressful influences like these for a few days and see what happens.

Things to add

We find what we look for and and what we focus on. And, the universe connects us to where we bring our attention, as well.

Here’s a great example.

While writing this article, I took a short break and my husband mentioned that he’d just read a great opinion piece that he thought I would find interesting. (He had no idea that I was writing on this topic!) 

The remarkable New York Times opinion piece, titled, The Outrage Diet, is chock full of inspiring ideas about what to do to limit the impact of all of the fury that is damaging people’s health and wellbeing. 

You can also actively seek out uplifting people and resources. Who do you know who is always inspiring you, or impressing you with fresh and uplifting ideas? What podcasts or writers bring you positive and informative perspectives? 

Brené Brown’s books and her new podcast, Unlocking Us, and Krista Tippett’s On Being site and podcasts, come quickly to mind. I find myself grateful when I choose resources like these.

You may also want to change what you read and watch for entertainment. Choose what will fill you with uplifting energy and inspiration.

And, I always advocate for adding creativity into your life. The more creativity (of any kind) you engage in, the more easily you can bring creative thinking to everything you do.

Which leads to my next recommendation:

2. Reframe whenever possible

If you saw the email I sent on Sunday about my weekly Creators of Change calls, you saw that I shared a remarkable and inspiring reframe for how to view the current political climate, and how we can move forward.

I shared the work of Valerie Kaur, whose TED talk (and the quote I had pulled from it) shifted my view in a dramatic way.

Valerie Kaur’s take on the way we can see — and impact — the world reminded me of another example I heard from a great coach of mine, that goes like this.

If you entered a room and saw a woman in the late stages of labor, you might declare, “There’s a woman in crisis in here!” But if you knew it was a birthing room, you would say, “There’s a woman in labor here.” Same woman, same event, and a different way of relating to and thinking about what you were seeing.

We have many opportunities to reframe. When we consider what is possible, rather than focusing only on what is problematic, we open our minds. We can see positive perspectives and think about positive things to do, rather than feeling stuck in despair.

3. Take action and see things improve

Action is the step that takes you from the starting point of seeing through a new lens to great outcomes.

The New York Times Opinion piece I recommended is chock full of excellent examples of action you can take when you feel overcome by outrage or despair.

Finding action to take to address a concern or improve a troubling situation — even in a small way — is empowering. 

The action can be to dive in and learn more, to reach out to someone, to make a donation, to start a new conversation, to share your ideas (like writing an opinion piece or blog post), and more. Commitment to making things better starts with one small action, and then staying in action.

I also recommend you check out this excellent article, that’s filled with creative ideas for how we can educate high school students in the age of COVID. This is an example of looking at an urgent issue through a new lens. And by adding creative thinking, and suggesting new action, the author has not only enriched us with his great ideas, he may positively impact the lives of vast numbers of students and teachers.

How will you see new possibilities?

What one small change can you make today to create a more positive environment and start seeing challenges in a new light? How can you bring fresh, creative thinking to something on your mind? What action can you take?

If you want to talk about how to bring these suggestions into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can live a more empowered life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Curious about how core values can help you live big?

It won’t surprise you that I have been thinking a lot about my mother, who died on August 21. (If you missed what I wrote about her last week, treat yourself to some inspiration.)

In my reflections, I have been thinking about the core values in her life, that informed the remarkable imprint she left on everyone who knew her.

Core values are front of mind for me these days. In the work I am doing with a group of remarkable women, I am helping each to go through a process of identifying her core values.

Why?

I believe we benefit enormously when we are clear about our guiding principles. We see ourselves with more clarity and insight. We can not only live with more integrity, we can more easily make decisions and choices that are right for us. And we are better able to create futures that align with who we truly are.

What can core values look like?

My mother’s core values, as I saw them, included:

• creating and elevating beauty in all she did, and inspiring others to see and create beauty

• creativity — she was a fantastic artist and her cooking was legendary 

• love — of family and friends, and she created meaningful new relationships with ease

• hospitality — closely related to love, hosting special gatherings gave her great joy

• striving for perfection — sometimes to an extreme

• justice — she believed in the rights of all people to be treated fairly and afforded opportunity

My mother rarely wavered. She was clear about all she believed in. These values guided her each day of her life.

How do a parent’s values influence you?

As my mother’s daughter, all of her values influenced my life.

Like most children, it was natural for me to try and model myself after my mother. This was mostly for the good. I adopted her love of beauty, I actively strive for social justice, and I love deeply. In time, I became an artist.

But occasionally, as in the case of her focus on perfectionism, the influence was not so positive. It has taken me years to be able to aim for excellence without pushing myself to the impossible extreme of perfectionism.

Can you see yourself through the lens of core values?

As we each grow and evolve through life, we become unique individuals. My list of core values has some overlaps with those I see as my mother’s, but it is unique to me. 

My list begins with love. Love is closely followed by creativity that's paired with curiosity. (Following my curiosity has helped to free me from the perfectionism that hampered me for many decades.)

Happiness, joy and gratitude are core for me. My love of beauty came directly from my mother. Exploration — of ideas and new places — is also on my list. 

Leadership paired with vision; justice paired with tolerance; generativity; and accountability paired with resourcefulness round out my list of values.

What about your values?

Have you thought about the values that guide you? If not, I recommend that you set aside some time to think about them, and identify your short list of what is truly central to the way you live.

Of course there are many attributes that matter to all of us. The challenge is to think of those that are most true, through and through, for you.

For instance, there may be lots of things that are important to you, like honesty, or boldness, dependability, honor, grace, success, uniqueness, patriotism, fidelity, piety, diligence, or security — to randomly name a few possibilities. 

When you think about things that ring true, consider if they are core values for you — if they always guide you. You can consider paired values, or related attributes, as I have in my short list above, as you get to your focused list.

And while you might want to think about where your core values originated, be certain all that you claim are yours! Remove anything on your list that’s imposed, or expected of you by others.

Aim to narrow your list to 6 to 8 core values.

How to use your list.

With your core values in hand, you have the opportunity to think about how you want to live into them.

Are there some values you want to expand, or go deeper with? For me, the realization that I had a long-held deep desire to explore more creative expression, but had allowed fear to limit me for so much of my life, finally supported me to enroll in a painting course. When I stopped stifling a core part of myself, and stepped into being an artist, my life changed in ways I never imagined would be so satisfying.

And remember that there are seasons in life when you can bring more focus to some of your values than had been possible at other times. Perhaps you will explore ways to expand the role of a key value as your life circumstances change.

Can you start to see new possibilities for yourself? Are there new ways to live your core values now, and new ways be bring them into your vision for the future, so you will live your biggest, best life?

Where will your core values take you?

Turning your attention to identifying your core values might feel like another “to-do” you don’t have time for. I get it. Life can be hectic.

And, your life can be enriched by creating space to consider what your core values are, and when you use them as a reference.

Making life decisions that are fully aligned with your values is very empowering. You are likely to feel clearer and bolder about your decisions when you have that resource to refer to.

If you would like to talk about core values and how they can help you move beyond what limits you into a future that will light you up, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can be a powerful creator in your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

My mother’s lessons for all of us

If you read the email I sent to my subscribers last week, you know that I lost my mother, Doris Berenholz, on August 21.

While this has been a very hard and very sad week, it has also been eye opening in many ways.

I was enormously fortunate to have had my mother in my life for over 6 decades. She was 91 years old, and lived a full and rich life. And I am deeply grateful that my father is not only alive, but in good health. Not many people are so fortunate.

And, as much as I thought I knew what this week would bring, and thought that I knew my parents, I have learned so much that has deeply touched me.

Unexpected surprises

Because of COVID, we had a very small graveside funeral for my mother. As much as I missed being with more family and friends, the beautiful intimacy at the service, and in our time spent that afternoon in my sister's magical garden, was truly special. Dear cousins flew and drove to be with us, as did my son and his wife, despite the challenges of travel. And while we could not embrace, we held each other close in our hearts in a way that was remarkable. I hope that my mother's spirit could sense the love we all have for her, and the bonds of love between us.

I am a big believe in the power of love, but even I never expected it to be so palpably felt in this circumstance.

Also because of COVID, we were not able to welcome friends for shiva during the week. Zoom shivas have been going on for months, but this was the first time I was a mourner in such circumstances.

And there were gifts.

We were “with” family and friends from all over the world. That would never have been possible in “normal” times.

I was also able to see and hear from people who loved my mother, who I did not know, or had not seen in decades. One by one, they shared their remembrances of her — much of which I would likely have missed in a crowded room.

We leave a bigger legacy than we know

The most wonderful — and eye-opening — thing that happened, amidst the grief, was hearing so much, from so many people, about how my mother impacted their lives.

My mother touched people in so many lasting ways that I had never realized.

And much of what I did know and appreciate about her was described in ways that expanded and magnified the significance of her gifts.

Her generosity and her facility at starting — and maintaining — friendships was recounted in stories and with details I’d never heard.

She taught so many people meaningful things about cooking, art, and the ways that beauty enriches your life, that have impacted people’s entire lives. And her 70-year love affair with my father was noted as being a model for several marriages.

My mother helped people with advice about great ways to make their kitchens more efficient. She arranged people’s bookshelves with such beauty that they learned how to do the same elsewhere. She even sketched a guest house for cousins in France, that was built just as she drew it! She planned the interior, too, and that has made it a special, cherished place.

More than a few friends of mine and my sisters said they had always wanted to be the “the fourth Berenholz daughter” and live with my family. My mother was the person a number of teenage girls came to when they felt misunderstood by their parents. They also talked about all they learned from her, about art, food,  and surrounding yourself with beauty. One became an artist after my mother gave her an easel and oil paints. (All three of Mom’s daughters are artists, too.)

Girl Scouts from the troop she led in the 60’s talked about and sent us notes filled with stories. Her hikes and camping trips and love of nature, the work she had us do with orphans and foster children, and the ways she inspired each of them to follow their paths, changed their lives. She was less interested in having her scouts work toward merit badges; she cared about so much more than that.

What we can all learn from my mother

I do not think my mother had any idea of what an enormous legacy she left in the world. She was simply focused on all that she cared about: people, relationships, art, music, beauty, fine cooking, hospitality, nature, travel, social justice, and love.

The inspiration we can all take from her is to live a life that is true to who we are, and to savor each day. To share all of our gifts, and share them with a full heart. To love, and love more.

If we emulate her, when our time comes to an end, people will pour out stories about how we enriched their lives.

The ripple effect of a life well-lived, a life of love and generosity, is incalculable.

I am so grateful for all she taught me, and all the love she spread in the world.

What’s the legacy you want to create?

I can see how my mother’s influence played a huge role in bringing me to the woman I am today, doing the work I do in the world. I will be reflecting on this even more deeply in the days and weeks ahead.

If my mother’s story has prompted you to think more deeply about the life you want to life, and the legacy you want to leave, I invite you to spend some quiet time writing and exploring what emerges.

And if you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and how to get there, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be honored to help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, the changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to stay grounded when stress shows up

All of us have ups and downs. But in the times we have been living through, many of us find ourselves dealing with stress more frequently than in the pre-COVID era, or find ourselves stressed in response to situations that never existed before.

And, stress is not to be taken lightly or blithely brushed aside.

How stress takes a toll

When we are stressed, our bodies release hormones that increase heart rate and breathing. Strained respiratory systems can lead to asthma and other difficulties.

Stress causes tension that can be mild to debilitating. Painful neck and shoulder muscles are common, as are headaches — that range in severity.

Stress can influence our diets, causing cascading problems like acid reflux and other GI disturbances. 

And then there’s the emotional toll of stress, ranging from anxiety to fatigue to overwhelm to depression.

Further, the more stress we have, and the longer it persists, the greater the negative impact it has on or lives.

We do have power, even in stressful circumstances

Even when things feel really hard — and even when we cannot control much that we used to be able to control — we always have choices.

And choosing deliberately can ground you in ways you may not realize is possible.

Follow these 3 steps and see what happens.

1. Choose your frame of mind

If you feel anxiety rising, choose to quiet your body and your mind. Sit and breathe for several minutes, or meditate. Try some 4x4 box breathing or butterfly tapping — that I describe on the Thriving Now page on my site, where you will find many other good resources, too.

You may also want to release emotions by creating.

A client recently said that having gained new insights in our work about the power of creativity to cope with emotion, she made a vivid drawing of the anxiety she felt and that help her to release it.

Another client said that enrolling in a dance class months ago has turned out to be one of her best decisions. She is amazed at how it has helped her cope in challenging times.

By calming your nervous system and releasing unwanted emotions, you will feel better in the moment, and you will set yourself up for better outcomes.

2. Ask yourself good questions.

We are often faced with matters that feel so big, with so many unknowns, that we get paralyzed.

Now that you've gotten calm and centered, try this. 

Get totally focused on the present, and your options and opportunities. Ask yourself questions like these:

• What is possible?

• What is possible that I never considered?

• What if it’s possible that...?

• What can I create that may sound crazy?

• What wild idea could be the germ of a new way forward?

3. Create your next best step, and the one after it.

When you allow yourself to decide on just your next best step, you take a lot of pressure off of yourself.

Simply make your next best decision. Create one next step. Then chose the next step to take that is right for you.

This is a wonderful way for you to own your power.

You can be a creator in each moment.

And as you create, you are able to be more grounded, rather than pulled into stress.

Where will this process take you?

I would love to hear about the ways these ideas help you to to stand in your power, master your mindset and make forward strides in your life, even when the circumstances around you are tough. 

This is how you can create your life one step at a time — how you create your future. 

If you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and how to get there, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, the changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to make 1 life-changing change

Most of us go through familiar motions each day. After all, as humans we are creatures of habit and we don’t give much thought to our ingrained patterns. 

Some of our habits are fine, and many may be terrific. But most people who pause to think about it, realize that there are some ways they live day by day that are dissatisfying, if not problematic.

For some, the tiny device they carry all day is a huge distraction, and for many it serves as a seductive way to avoid doing things they want, or mean, or need to do. (There are variations on this theme, too, like indulging in Netflix binges, or scrubbing at the grout in the shower.)

For some, living in overdrive is habitual and exhaustion is the norm. They cannot remember how to get quiet and relax.

For others, worry is a habit.

Some overeat or drink as a way to numb themselves when they feel discomfort.

Some deplete themselves by always taking care of, and trying to please, everyone around them.

You can choose to cultivate new ways of being

You may be familiar with the idea of committing to a “practice” in your life. If not, you may have heard people refer to their yoga practice, or a meditation practice, or a self-care practice, or some other kind of practice.

Starting a practice is an excellent way to change habits that hinder you.

When I first heard the term “practice” years back, I found it curious — and I thought it was a bit pretentious. I now understand the concept of having a practice, and how meaningful and helpful it is.

When I decided to attend yoga classes, and found a teacher and classmates that felt like “home” for me, I began to understand what it means to have a practice in your life. I regularly attended classes and found yoga to be an important part of my life.

When you choose to adopt a practice, you commit to doing something new or different with ongoing focus and regularity.

What it looks like to adopt a practice

Yoga is a good form of exercise, but yoga is really about more than simply mastering physical poses. By choosing to have a yoga practice, you commit. Each time you get on the mat you learn more about how your body works, you slowly cultivate balance, you experience more flexibility and strength, you breath with intention. And as you do all of that, you become fully present to your body. You experience what it feels like to empty your mind and be only in the present.

You do not gain all of these benefits in a week. It is when you sustain a yoga practice that the benefits grow and become greater over time.

Adopting a sustained practice of any kind works the same way.

Your new practice — which can be establishing new guidelines for interacting with your smartphone, or new ways of cooking and eating, or creating a schedule for your days that matches your peak energy periods, or building regular movement into your life — will impact the way you show up in your life.

It will help you to be the person you want to be.

Who you want to be to live your best life?

Why not stop and consider who you want to be, and who you need to be, to live the life you truly yearn for? Asking yourself may help you identify a range of ways you want to commit to bringing new practices into your life.

You may want to learn to slow down and be still — and enjoy that stillness.

You may want to start living in the present moment, rather than replaying old experiences, reliving regrets, or pushing your thoughts out to what-ifs in the future.

You may want to feel more free and willing to experiment, play and try new ideas, rather than holding back until you feel certain of outcomes.

You may want to dive into an interest that you’ve been drawn to but have not pursued, for fear you won’t be good enough, or that others might criticize you.

Use these 3 steps to get started

A word of caution: Don’t slip into the trap of making lots of changes at once. That’s never wise. And, avoid getting overwhelmed by ruminating over all the possibilities for what one change to make.

These steps can guide your process:

1. Start by asking yourself this question:

What one new way of being do I feel most eager to adopt now?

Let your intuition chime in here, and trust it. You do not need to make a “perfect” choice — simply make a choice!

2. Next, consider what small new practice you can commit to that will help you to adopt that new way of being.

Find some uninterrupted time and brainstorm about this. (The Discovery Dozen™ exercise, that I teach in my book, can be a great resource for exploring possibilities.)

Having generated a list of ideas, what feels the most appealing? Aim to create a small new practice that you believe you can commit to.

3. Now it’s time to put the new practice into action.

Get started! Make adjustments if you find that something does not work so well, or shift to new variations if needed, but keep going.

Once you have landed on the way your new practice works for you, and you stay with it (even if it takes some getting used to at first), you will be on your way to becoming the person you want to be now.

And be sure to acknowledge and celebrate yourself after taking each of these steps. 

What’s next?

When you have a new practice comfortably in place, you will find that you can consider adding another new practice.

This is how we grow and expand in our lives.

This is how you can live big.

If you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and who you need to become to create that life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, what changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What will your wake-up call lead to?

Have you ever had a “wake-up call” that changed your awareness in some way?

I received an email the other day with a story that indicated a wake-up call had occurred. It was not dramatic or earth-shattering, but as I read it the note, I could see how meaningful it was.

Awareness was opened in a notable way. And that awareness lead to important impact.

What can happen when you explore

The woman who wrote to me shared a story that began when she watched a documentary that I have recommended to many people in recent weeks.

The 13th (that’s titled after the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution, and available on Netflix and YouTube) opened my eyes about the history of race, justice and mass incarceration in our country. It brings to light the ways that the decades of policy since the end of the Civil War have contributed to so many ills that people of color have suffered, and continue to suffer, today.

What happened after she watched the documentary was remarkable.

She described a conversation she had with a close friend, soon after watching The 13th, in which she explored a new awareness about language that most of us use without a second thought — language that carries deep pain for so many.

She shared that the conversation she had was meaningful, for her and for her friend, and that she is now more aware of many subtle ways that pain like that is inadvertently and routinely perpetuated.

This was a powerful insight, for which she is grateful.

When we are open to new learning we gain so much

In addition to the day-to-day focus we have on our families and our work, we can invite enrichment into our lives.

We are enriched when we learn, and we can gain important new awareness. When we have a wake-up call related to subtle ways we have been uniformed, it can be incredibly valuable.

And we can take that new awareness a step further.

By bringing the awareness into a conversation, or when we consider things we used to say, or do, or write without a second thought, and consciously make a change, we grow and expand.

Not only do we benefit, we impact those around us.

And in that way, we impact the world.

Amazing, isn’t it?

How will you take a step to look for more knowledge?

You may dive in to explore more that is related to systemic racism, and the impact it has in our society.

You may want to learn more about another challenge that concerns you — the environment, educational inequities, poverty, homelessness, the pandemic, the state of our democracy, and more.

These are all excellent possibilities.

Exploring and learning = taking action

And, talking with others is important action, too. It not only expands your own awareness, you share your new awareness.

In turn, others are likely to become more aware and initiate or contribute to more conversations. And so the impact grows.

This is what leadership looks like

When you develop awareness about an issue or problem you want to help address, and are motivated to help resolve it, you are poised to proceed in any number of ways.

I always recommend that you start with small, conscious efforts, and build from there as you wish. Seek inspiration from others. Invite collaboration. Think creatively to devise a range of interesting approaches to pursue.

When you stay aligned with your values and step forward with courage you are leading, and modeling for others to do the same. You are impacting the world in your unique and important way.

The world needs the greatness in all of us.

We can each step into our power.

We can all live big.

I invite you to consider the impact you want to have — in your personal life, in your work, and in the world — by stepping into your power, and living all of your greatness.

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want to create in your life, the impact you want to have, and challenges or questions that may be limiting you. And if we both think there’s a good fit, I can tell you about a new coaching program I have created that’s starting soon, and how it may be able to support you to create the future you want.  

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating

Three sure steps to take right now

Here we are, at the end of another month, halfway through the summer. 

We continue to live through a time of enormous disruption, and yet life is always affording us opportunities — even when it can be hard to see them.

What I am seeing now

I am observing shifts of many kinds. 

I talk to people who were rocked at the start of the pandemic, found the focus and energy to take action, and are now in a new lull as they contemplate moving ahead.

Some people report an upswing in opportunities in their work, and that they have found new and positive ways to keep connected to others and stay happy.

Some have realized that things they had been tolerating (personally and/or professionally) are no longer tolerable. They are feeling keenly motivated to take action and bring change into their lives. 

Some are diving into new ways to spend their time and realize this period has been a gift for them.

Many are finding they've created a new mix, or blend, of elements in their day-to-day lives, and they like the way they are spending their time, focusing their attention, and using their energy. They realize they are likely to adjust again as the world around them creates new conditions, but their new routine and combination of satisfying activities and initiatives is working now.

Wherever you are at this moment, consider these ways to support yourself.

1. Feel it all and “exercise” what you feel

Feeling our emotions — especially the tough ones — rather than stuffing them down or avoiding them, can seem scary. Sure, it's great when we feel excited and happy. But nobody is always happy.

Lots of people are champions at avoiding tough emotion. They numb themselves with mindless scrolling, endless Netflix, too many cocktails, overeating, and more. Some stay frantically busy or dive into excessive physical activity to keep from feeling them.

If you can allow yourself to simply be with the emotion in quiet, and feel what you feel, you can then use the energy of the emotion to transform it.

Yes, the pain or distress or anxiety can be dispelled.

How? 

• Set a timer for 5 minutes (or more) and write freely. See what shows up on the pages.

• Make art with what you feel — make the emotion visual any way you want.

• Dance the emotion, to let your body express it. Sing the feelings, or play them on an instrument. From the blues, to rock, to opera, to hip hop — anything is great.

• Get outside and feel your emotions under the sky, as you look at the world around you. Or dig in your garden, letting yourself connect to the awesome energy of nature.

And you can elevate positive emotions with any of these techniques. Why not make the most of the good stuff?

When you are in touch with what you are feeling, and actively honor and then “use” difficult emotions — or amplify good ones — you clear the way for fresh perspectives.

2. Decide what you want

It’s easy to feel stuck when you are unsure of what to do, or can’t imagine what might be possible.

Before you start writing out lists of possibilities, focus on your desire.

Sit where there are no distractions and get quiet. Close your eyes, put one hand on your heart and feel into your heart. Put your other hand on your belly and consciously connect to your intuition, to the wisdom in your gut.

 And listen.

You may hear soft, vague whispers or clear loud messages. Be patient. Stay in stillness. See what desires show up. 

You may not get answers all at once, but if you actively listen, you will connect to things your heart desires. 

Maybe you’ll yearn for more connection. Maybe you’ll realize you want to explore being a speaker. Maybe you’ll desire a change in a relationship. Maybe you’ll want to express yourself more fully. Maybe you’ll want to live in a new place, near people or resources you long for. Maybe you’ll realize that you want to reshape what you offer in your professional work.

Your heart always has desire, and connecting to it gives you a compass for moving forward.

3. Get creative and get choosy

Having connected to your emotions and desires, you can now consider your options in new ways. This is your opportunity to create!

You can look at things through new lenses — the lens of opportunity and the lens of possibility.

Opportunity and possibility are starting points for big thinking and for fresh approaches you can play with.

Start with the question, “What if it’s possible that...” and see what shows up. You can also use the Discovery Dozen™ exercise I teach in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, to generate lots of ideas, and see which of the ideas you want to explore more deeply.

When you review your ideas, be selective. Eliminate the possibilities that feel heavy. Delete any that feel like “should’s” rather than “wants.” Continue to check in with your heart and your gut and stay with the ideas that light you up.

What happens next?

This is a good time to consider who can help you. Who can be a sounding board, or wise advisor, or coach? Who can help you stay accountable to the process of exploration, testing and taking action?

And try not to get overwhelmed. Neither exciting, big ideas nor more modest ideas require you to take giant steps! Small steps are the ideal way to move into something new (and small steps can be bold steps). These will let you set a solid foundation, as you take small action, and continue or adjust course as needed, with every step on the path.  

Let’s create together!

I have been feeling significant shifts as life has evolved and the last months have rolled along. I am excited about new opportunities that I am seeing, and a host of new things I am creating.

From a new more expansive and light-filled approach I am moving into in the studio when I paint, to new ways of navigating through the challenge of illness in a beloved family member, to a new program I have designed to support great women to create the next big vision for their lives and start living it, I am moving forward in new ways.

I invite you to share what you are facing in your life now, and what you yearn to create in your future.

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call, and I will help you gain insight and clarity about your challenges and questions and desires. And if we both think there’s a good fit, I can tell you about my new coaching program that’s starting soon, and how it may be able to support you to create the changes you want to make. 

Today is a great day to take a small and meaningful step.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

These questions can unleash your greatness

I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of “living big” lately. 

I talk about living big all the time(!), but I have been thinking about it in terms of my life, and my path through life.

Because I did not live what I now consider to be a big life for many decades. And I have learned a lot from reflecting on the path that brought me to my life today.

And as much as I was influenced in many ways to keep myself small as I was growing up (that I understand more clearly now than ever before), I see that my lack of awareness kept me living that way well into adulthood. This has been an unfolding revelation.

We humans are complex beings

And yes, we are able to learn, grow and expand.

There’s no magic spell that enables us to cut through the complexity and make quick change. But we can change.

We can be guided to get clear about the things that have been in our way, and we can be guided to heal old wounds and step into new ways of thinking, believing and living.

And I feel an urgency for more of that to happen.

There is greatness in all of us

My story proves that even when you have been shut down, taught to keep quiet, disconnected from your truth, lacking in confidence and living in fear, and even when that small way of living continued for years and years, as it did in my life, it is possible to emerge.

Your story is likely to have different elements. But most of us have had influences and have acquired stories that have shaped our beliefs in ways that have limited us.

All of us can find our voices.

It is possible to step into the light.

It is possible to rise above fear.

It is possible to believe in an abundant universe.

It is possible to become a powerful creator in your life. 

There is enormous greatness waiting to be tapped, waiting to be unleashed in all of us! And now is the time for more of us to begin to step into that power, or continue on our paths.

Now more than ever, ask yourself good questions 

We are living in an extraordinary moment. There are challenges of enormous proportion all around — in the greater world and in each of our day-to-day lives. 

If ever there was a time to approach life as a powerful creator, it is now!

This is an opportunity to orient your thinking from the starting point of asking questions that will help you think and act in new ways.

Choose liberally from this list:

“What can I create now?”
“What do I deeply desire?”
“How might I take a new or different approach?”
“What can I learn?”
“What idea might I test?”
“What’s possible?” 
“What if it’s possible that...?”
“What would I do if I were not afraid?”

Look for inspiration every day

Each day I look for inspiration, and you can, too.

I find inspiration that calls on me to find stillness and listen deeply. It tells me that there is more greatness waiting to be tapped and more boldness to bring forth. It supports me to take the next steps on my path, to expand again and again.

And that inspiration expands my definition of living big.

It expands the definition of being a powerful creator.

This excites me because creation brings change into the world.

And my aim is to be a creator of change — to help individual lives to change, and as a result, as more of us change and become creators of change, to see more impact in the world.

I invite you to join me on this path

There are many ways to join me.

Share what you are doing now to create change in your life and the world — in a comment below, or email me. Let’s inspire and support one another!

Join my weekly Creators of Change calls and (and check the resources on that page) to help bring change to systemic racism and social injustice.

And if you feel inspired to make meaningful change in your life — or take bigger steps — with guidance, schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I promise you’ll gain valuable insights and ideas about what’s in your way now and all that is possible for you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Small mindset adjustments that work wonders

I speak to women every day about what’s getting in the way for them, and the impact of the stories and limiting beliefs that hold them back.

Of course, I am not a stranger to this territory! Even after years of focusing on personal development and experiencing big personal growth, old entrenched, negative thoughts like that can return. They usually show up when I am about to step up to do something new, something bigger, and often when I’m about to venture into the unknown. (Does that sound familiar?)

I am fortunate that, with awareness and practice, I am usually able to quickly spot these stories and the return of those old beliefs that no longer serve me. 

What I do next is the what makes all the difference. 

I remind myself that my mindset — which I can consciously pay attention to — is the key to shifting back into my power. 

I consciously shift my thoughts. And you can do this, too.

Will you be able to read this post and make a huge shift all at once?

Probably not.

But start small, start now, and you will get the feel for how this works. Stick with this focus, and I predict that you will notice lots of positives changes.

3 simple mindset shifts you can use as needed 

1. When you sink into doubt...

We all experience doubt. It’s often related to a lack of confidence, and may be rooted in a lack of belief that something is even possible. This leads to feeling demoralized.

Turning doubt into confidence is a topic I work on with my clients, and that I teach in full-day workshops. But, here’s one way to shift your mindset when doubt creeps in.

You can build belief in yourself and in what is possible when you remind yourself of big, brave things you have done in the past.

Acknowledge yourself for that resourcefulness and resilience. That positive self-talk, filled with self-appreciation, will help you to step into something new, rather than shrinking back in doubt.

2. When you feel like the world is treating you unfairly...

Feeling like a victim may strike from time to time or can become a habit. It’s a way we shift responsibility for our lives to external forces, or other people. 

Again, this is a big topic, with no quick fixes. But when you consciously choose to own your power, and believe that you can be a creator in your life, and of your life, you are shifting to a new orientation. 

As you begin to choose what you want to create in every moment, and make deliberate choices, you will experience a feeling of agency — and that’s a great feeling. 

Even when you are creating very small positive steps, you’ll begin to feel differently about what is possible. 

3. When you feel impatient with yourself...

Impatience is often tied to self-criticism. Who has not thought to themselves, “Why can’t I do this faster, or better?” or, “I should have this all figured out already!”

Learning to manage your self-critic is big work, and the self-critic attempts to sabotage us in many ways. But there’s a mindset shift that you can use any time that will help a lot.

Watch the words you use — to others, and to yourself! Your self-talk has an incredible impact, so paying attention to that is important.

A simple and really effective shift is to add the word “yet” to the end of any sentence that expresses impatience.

For example, instead of saying, “I haven't been able to figure this out,” say, “I haven't been able to figure this out yet.” 

The addition of that simple word opens possibility and brings a sense of positivity.

Try this bonus tip, too

While we are on the subject of watching the words we use, try to consciously eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary. (Did you notice it in the example I shared at the top of tip #3?)

When you pay attention, you are likely to hear yourself using this damaging word (that your self-critic loves to throw at you) in lots of situations. By making the “all-purpose” mindset shift to remove the word “should,” you are sure to notice how things change for the better. 

Depending on where and how it shows up, you can replace “should” with ”I can...” or “I could...” or “I’d like to...” or even change the sentence to a question, like, “Do I want to...?” 

And if you want help to explore how you can make bigger shifts in your mindset and start to powerfully create the big life you yearn for, schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I promise you’ll gain valuable insights and ideas about what’s in your way now and what’s possible for you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Is your definition of freedom too small?

I hope you enjoyed a lovely holiday weekend. I wonder if you were thinking differently about July 4 and all that it signifies this year. I certainly was.

I have been thinking a lot about freedom lately.

We are living in a time that is fraught in many ways. And the word freedom itself is being used to mean different things by different people. Many of the ways I have heard people use the word trouble me.

In addition to that concern, I believe there is more to consider about freedom than most of us typically do.

The word “freedom” is packed with possibility

Have you ever paused to consider all the ways you are free?

We all have the freedom to grow and expand in our lives.

No matter what challenges we are living through — and we have had a heap of challenges to navigate these last months — we are always free to create our outlook.

We are free to expand our thinking.

We are free to create our thoughts, and free to shape our vision.

We are free to bring a limitless mindset to what is possible.

When we begin by framing the ideas for what we want to do, or change, or reach for, we have the freedom to test and explore. 

And we have the freedom to continue iterating and creating, one small step after the other.

Nobody can limit us when we feel free

Our greatest freedom is to create in every moment in our lives. And nobody can take that freedom away from us.

Sadly, we are the force that most often limits our own freedom. 

A limited mindset stops us.

Our doubts hold us back.

Our fears paralyze us. 

Even when we do take action, if making progress goes slowly we often feel discouraged, and we may stop.

Remember that every step on the path is meaningful, and that the key is to stay in motion. 

Remember that you can be resilient.

Remember that you can adapt in the face of stress.

Remember that you can create even when others around you do not believe it’s possible, or don’t believe in you.

Remember that we have all already invented new ways of living — perhaps many times, and certainly in the last months of the pandemic.

And we can each continue to create.

You can begin to create a new, bigger way forward in any aspect of your life and work, at any time.

How will you embrace freedom today?

Are you inspired to think about what you want to create, how you want to use your freedom?

Start with small ideas that you can explore and test.

And don’t limit your big dreams and visions, if that’s where your heart wants to lead you. Open up to all that you yearn for.

And if you want help to get clear about what’s possible for you to create in your life in order to embrace freedom in new and bigger ways, scheduling a Live Big Breakthrough Call may be a perfect first step.

I promise you’ll gain valuable insights and ideas about what is possible for you and ways that you can learn to step into the freedom of being a powerful creator in your life.