The ABCs of Self Leadership

As a woman who leads, inspires, and aims to make an impact, if you are feeling stress and overwhelm in a world filled with uncertainty, it’s hard to show up powerfully.

At times like these it is imperative to stay strong, steady, and clearheaded — so that you can do your best work and support others.

I think of it as cultivating self-leadership. With this ability you can lead in every aspect of life and work.

When you cultivate self-leadership you will be able to stay steady with more ease.

What self-leadership looks like

As a visual thinker, I have imagined a few scenarios that you may find helpful to envision what strong self-leadership can mean for you.

Imagine feeling like you are able to stay upright on the deck of a boat in rocky seas.

Imagine feeling like you are a gyroscope, and that when you tip in the wind, or wobble under pressure, or when the sand beneath your feet starts shifting, you always come back up.

Imagine being a tall palm that is flexible and bends in the wind during a storm, and not only stays rooted, but can stand erect again when the winds subside.

Focusing on self-leadership enables you to be strong and resilient.

The A, B, and C of self-leadership

There are many ways people think about and approach “self-leadership.” In the context of attending to your own wellbeing in order to lead and support others effectively, these are the components I offer you to consider.

Action — based on Awareness and Acknowledgement

A key first step is to take stock of what you are feeling. Having tools to help you identify your emotions enables you to then acknowledge what is at play, rather than aiming to simply muscle through when you are feeling less than steady.

With that clarity you can take action to process your emotions, so those heavy emotions move through you rather than hijack you.

And taking action of all kinds is an excellent antidote to feeling disillusioned or stuck, no matter the reason.

Bolster — to show up Boldly

Effective leadership — of yourself and others — requires true belief in yourself. 

Having clarity about the emotions that were hampering you, then processing those emotions to help you step into action, you will see matters more clearly. You can bring a clear head to determining the best ways to move forward, and your confidence will naturally expand. 

And there’s a bonus when you bolster your confidence: You feel that you have agency in situations that would otherwise feel daunting.

Create!

You can create practices that support you to manage stress when it arises. You can create a mindset of curiosity, openness and consideration of new possibilities no matter what shows up. You can create expressively to open your heart.

This is your time to cultivate the creative power inside of you that is waiting to be unleashed. That’s what will make you an unstoppable leader!

Feeling wobbly? Here’s how to stay strong.

The new year is in full swing.

We have made it through more of winter than what stands between us and spring warming.

And the world around us has been changing at great speed — and in many alarming ways — since January 20.

You may be feeling wobbly. You may feel able to stay steady. You may be looking ahead with trepidation or feel determined to stand strong. You may feel committed to take action. A mixture of all of the above may be in play for you.

One thing is clear: this will be a year unlike any in our memory. The events swirling around us will impact us personally and in our professional lives.

Importantly, the creative power we are each filled with can be directed as we choose. We can focus our creative power in a singular way or in multiple ways.

What are you choosing now?

A client of mine stood strong and advocated for just policies in her institution. She inspired the president to recommit to the diversity-based values of the institution.

Another client has just published a book that I anticipate will garner significant acclaim in the business world.

Other clients are supporting local causes and donating to organizations that are mounting legal actions that support threatened populations.

One client has offered to open her home to people who need temporary respite if they are in peril, and to women who have had to come to our state for abortion care that is unavailable where they live.

In each case, these remarkable women are choosing to contribute to a better world.

And, each is also focused on bringing joy into her life each day. They create in many ways that fill their spirits. They share generously with others. They stay present and inspired.

Pessimism is paralyzing

We each have an opportunity to make our choices. And when we choose and are committed we have agency.

Should you find yourself feeling frightened, discouraged, angry or hopeless, create in a way that moves the emotion through you (as I wrote about last week), and then make the choice to take action.

Start by supporting your spirit and wellbeing and do something that makes you happy. And consider doing something joyful and uplifting with others.

Joy is an antidote to despair.

Action is an antidote to despair.

Every small action is meaningful. 

Let’s save the world together

As we stay grounded and committed we have great power. My vision is of people everywhere finding creative ways to have a positive impact. 

Both the Talmud and the Quran teach us that when you save one life you save the world.

Support yourself, then do one thing to help someone else. (Check the Creators of Change page for ideas.)

Let’s start there.

Who do you need to BECOME to live big now?

Here we are, in the last week of October, looking ahead to a momentous election and the last 2 months of 2020.

Yup, there are only 65 days left in this year.

You may be hearing and reading about meeting end-of-year sales goals and doing year-end assessments.

Maybe you are thinking back to the ambitions you had for this year that got interrupted, and perhaps derailed, by the pandemic.

Rather than feeling stressed or anxious, I am offering you a couple of questions to consider:

What will help you to end the year on a strong note? 

What states of mind, what ways of being, can you address now, to make these last 2 months the best they can be — and to be your most resourceful and resilient self as you move into 2021?

As you read these questions, are you wondering how to start thinking about answering them? 

Consider this.

Your state of being is key to the quality of your life

Your state of being — how you show up in the world, your mindset each day — is the foundation upon which everything rests. It impacts your relationships, your work, your personal well-being — your entire life.

To BECOME more grounded, clear and confident, follow these 3 steps.

Step 1: Assess your current state

Take a look at this list of common challenges and consider which are limiting you now. (Trust me, we all are hampered by some or many of these, to one degree or another!) 

How many of these trouble you?

• A lack of confidence

• Feeling unmotivated

• People pleasing

• Putting yourself last

• Skipping self-care

• Comparing yourself to others, making you feel like you are not good enough

• Feeling like an imposter

• Difficulty setting healthy boundaries

• Feeling indecisive

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Feeling fearful

Mindset challenges like these are likely to have been in place long before the pandemic, though they may now be more of a hindrance. Or maybe some new ones have recently cropped up for you.

And maybe you are thinking of a challenge that is not on this list. If so, make a note of it now.

Next, jot down all of the challenges that hamper you these days. And for each one, note the level of negative impact they have for you.

Use a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most distressing.

Are you surprised at what you see?

If your list is long, or the scale is high, do not feel discouraged. You now have more clarity — that’s a good thing! — and you can begin to move forward to address these limitations.

Step 2: Focus on small change for one challenge 

With the clarity you have now, consider the single biggest limiting mindset challenge you identified — or the one that feels most urgent to address.

Yes, it can be big work to address such challenges. And I am glad to tell you that making change like this is doable — but the most effective way do it is to bring your attention to making small, focused changes to one thing at a time.

It’s tempting to try and change many things at once, but that’s not wise. When you are scattered and inconsistent in your efforts you are unlikely to achieve the changes you desire. That leads to feeling discouraged and giving up.

Begin by paying attention to the one thing you most want to address now.

And do not minimize the importance of taking very small steps to start shifting into a better frame of mind.

Consider taking small steps like these

When you feel overwhelmed, indecisive, or feel hampered by any of the stresses listed above, try adopting a conscious practice like simply slowing down and taking 2 to 3 minutes to breathe in quiet. Done consistently, this can be a surprisingly fast way to connect to your calm, wise self. It will help you more than you might imagine.

Or, if you are skimping on self-care, or notice you are people-pleasing, or realize that you frequently put yourself last, consider ways to treat yourself with more self-love. You might schedule 10 minutes for yourself each day — be it to soak in a tub before bed, to read quietly, or to take a mid-day walk. 

Small practices like these, when regularly incorporated into your life, will have a meaningful impact.

You may also want to look at the helpful practices and exercises I’ve included in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, to help you address and overcome the limitations that concern you. Choose the practices you feel will most help you to make the changes you seek.

Step 3: Keep going, even if you are not always consistent!

When you bring commitment to incorporating a new practice into your life — even if you do it imperfectly and miss a day here and there — be sure to acknowledge yourself for making that commitment.

It’s when you get back on track and continue to build new practices that meaningful change becomes your new normal.

Much like brushing your teeth each day, you will soon stop needing to remind yourself to take those breaks, or treat yourself well, or set healthy boundaries. Practices like these become your new way of being, and you are then able to bring attention to the next area where you seek to make change. 

Can you imagine what it can look to become more of the woman you want to be by the end of 2020?

What would it look like for you to show up and do what’s important to you without those old ways of being?

What might your new year look like if you were able to shift into being a creator of the life you want, rather than feeling like it’s so hard to make the moves you long for?

Begin now! Start to take small steps to become all you yearn to be.

There’s no time like the present to get started.

And if you want personal support, to help you overcome the limitations that are hampering you with more ease and consistency, let’s make a date for a complimentary Live Big Breakthrough Call.

I’ll be happy to help you gain insights and new perspectives about the challenges that limit you and how you can move forward in your life in exciting ways.

And, if we both think the fit is right, I can share the way that my new signature program, Live Big Live!, might help you become a powerful creator of the future you yearn for.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.