Curious about how core values can help you live big?
/
It won’t surprise you that I have been thinking a lot about my mother, who died on August 21. (If you missed what I wrote about her last week, treat yourself to some inspiration.)
In my reflections, I have been thinking about the core values in her life, that informed the remarkable imprint she left on everyone who knew her.
Core values are front of mind for me these days. In the work I am doing with a group of remarkable women, I am helping each to go through a process of identifying her core values.
Why?
I believe we benefit enormously when we are clear about our guiding principles. We see ourselves with more clarity and insight. We can not only live with more integrity, we can more easily make decisions and choices that are right for us. And we are better able to create futures that align with who we truly are.
What can core values look like?
My mother’s core values, as I saw them, included:
creating and elevating beauty in all she did, and inspiring others to see and create beauty
creativity — she was a fantastic artist and her cooking was legendary
love — of family and friends, and she created meaningful new relationships with ease
hospitality — closely related to love, hosting special gatherings gave her great joy
striving for perfection — sometimes to an extreme
justice — she believed in the rights of all people to be treated fairly and afforded opportunity
My mother rarely wavered. She was clear about all she believed in. These values guided her each day of her life.
How do a parent’s values influence you?
As my mother’s daughter, all of her values influenced my life.
Like most children, it was natural for me to try and model myself after my mother. This was mostly for the good. I adopted her love of beauty, I actively strive for social justice, and I love deeply. In time, I became an artist.
But occasionally, as in the case of her focus on perfectionism, the influence was not so positive. It has taken me years to be able to aim for excellence without pushing myself to the impossible extreme of perfectionism.
Can you see yourself through the lens of core values?
As we each grow and evolve through life, we become unique individuals. My list of core values has some overlaps with those I see as my mother’s, but it is unique to me.
My list begins with love. Love is closely followed by creativity that's paired with curiosity. (Following my curiosity has helped to free me from the perfectionism that hampered me for many decades.)
Happiness, joy and gratitude are core for me. My love of beauty came directly from my mother. Exploration — of ideas and new places — is also on my list.
Leadership paired with vision; justice paired with tolerance; generativity; and accountability paired with resourcefulness round out my list of values.
What about your values?
Have you thought about the values that guide you? If not, I recommend that you set aside some time to think about them, and identify your short list of what is truly central to the way you live.
Of course there are many attributes that matter to all of us. The challenge is to think of those that are most true, through and through, for you.
For instance, there may be lots of things that are important to you, like honesty, or boldness, dependability, honor, grace, success, uniqueness, patriotism, fidelity, piety, diligence, or security — to randomly name a few possibilities.
When you think about things that ring true, consider if they are core values for you — if they always guide you. You can consider paired values, or related attributes, as I have in my short list above, as you get to your focused list.
And while you might want to think about where your core values originated, be certain all that you claim are yours! Remove anything on your list that’s imposed, or expected of you by others.
Aim to narrow your list to 6 to 8 core values.
How to use your list.
With your core values in hand, you have the opportunity to think about how you want to live into them.
Are there some values you want to expand, or go deeper with? For me, the realization that I had a long-held deep desire to explore more creative expression, but had allowed fear to limit me for so much of my life, finally supported me to enroll in a painting course. When I stopped stifling a core part of myself, and stepped into being an artist, my life changed in ways I never imagined would be so satisfying.
And remember that there are seasons in life when you can bring more focus to some of your values than had been possible at other times. Perhaps you will explore ways to expand the role of a key value as your life circumstances change.
Can you start to see new possibilities for yourself? Are there new ways to live your core values now, and new ways be bring them into your vision for the future, so you will live your biggest, best life?
Where will your core values take you?
Turning your attention to identifying your core values might feel like another “to-do” you don’t have time for. I get it. Life can be hectic.
And, your life can be enriched by creating space to consider what your core values are, and when you use them as a reference.
Making life decisions that are fully aligned with your values is very empowering. You are likely to feel clearer and bolder about your decisions when you have that resource to refer to.
If you would like to talk about core values and how they can help you move beyond what limits you into a future that will light you up, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.
I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can be a powerful creator in your life.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Stay safe and well, and keep creating.
