Give yourself the gift of going deep

Most accomplished women are lucky to carve out bits of time for quiet reflection, much less deep thinking.

Endless to-do lists run their lives. And when time does open up, many don’t think to reflect, or know how to approach quiet inquiry. They usually find themselves returning to being busy, or they get distracted in all sorts of ways that quickly fill time. 

What going deep can look like

I first ventured into deep personal exploration over a decade ago and it changed my life. Working with a coach, I was prompted and guided to explore questions I never had before.

And a notable part of my journey was when I dared to start painting in 2015. It has enabled me to know myself and express myself in truly remarkable ways.

Having just returned from attending a fabulous week at a writing retreat, I am so glad I took a big new step on my path of meaningful expansion.

I was guided to bravely begin writing and to trust myself in a new medium. I was with a small group of inspiring women, also bravely writing stories that were powerful, funny, moving, raw, and provocative. We all explored and made discoveries found in deep places inside of us. 

We each dared to take this time for ourselves, motivated by a desire to grow in new ways as we shaped our ideas, committed them to paper, and received loving feedback from our teacher and each other.

We showed up for ourselves. We connected to parts of ourselves we do not usually approach. We excavated courageously and found gems.

I see great similarities between what happened for me last week and what I witness each time I lead my Live Big Live! program.

I feel a thrill when I see my clients discover exciting and gratifying work — or reignite their passion for what they do each day.

It is wonderful to observe the ways they are now forging, or repairing, or finding relationships from a grounded, clear, centered place.

They are each moving into exciting futures, with space to honor their well-being, with clarity, confidence and joy.

Are you ready to meet yourself in a new way?

The experience of connecting to yourself and igniting a huge spark in your life is possible for you, too.

If you are intrigued by the idea of making time for your own journey to your heart, so that you connect to your deep desires, clarify a vision for your most fulfilling future, and express yourself with joy, the spring Live Big Live! program may be right for you. 

You can be part of an intimate group of wonderful women who are bravely honoring themselves as they embark on rewarding journeys of self-discovery.

If you hear a small voice (or maybe a loud, “Yes!”) saying this is the time to connect to all of who you are, and be guided to living your most fulfilling life (whether you have an image of what that looks like or are trying to figure it out), let’s get on a call.

There are still a few spots available for the upcoming Live Big Live! retreat, but the deadline for enrollment is coming fast.

Let’s connect and see if this is a fit for you.

Schedule a call today

It’s your time to shine

The last two weeks we focused on why so many amazing women second-guess themselves, and how we can all connect to the truth in our hearts. Now it’s time to look at ways to practice speaking the truth you found there.

Is it time to speak more of your truth? Start small!

The power of small, steady steps is often overlooked.

Whether you’ve been holding back on speaking up about something that matters to you, or a new revelation emerged that you want to express, find a person and/or setting that feels safe and supportive. 

Tell them you want to share something meaningful that they may not have heard from you before. Ask if they can be a sounding board for you and withhold judgement or opinion. 

Then share that idea.

If you hear voices of doubt, remind yourself that you are terrific. Also remind yourself that this is a safe way to start. The person you chose, or the small group, will listen and respond positively.

And, even if that person or someone in the group does not agree with you, that’s fine. Own your ideas and opinions.

Keep practicing

The more you practice speaking your truth, the more people will expect (and in many cases look forward to) hearing what you have to say.

And your satisfaction and comfort speaking your truth will grow over time.

When there is a bigger matter to speak up or out about — soon after you get comfortable with this way of showing up or somewhere down the line — you will be a woman who feels in her power to clearly speak her truth

Are you ready to step into your biggest, best life?

Maybe you know there is more greatness in you that's waiting to emerge. You want to show up fully, without fear, and live your best life.

Maybe you are at a crossroads or in a transition and yearn to set your compass with clarity to move confidently into a truly fulfilling future.

Maybe you are focused on a career decision, or a relationship, or want to make another change, and feel stuck.

If any of these resonate in your heart, you can move into your most satisfying future — and have a true breakthrough more quickly than you may think.

The Live Big Live! program was created for you.

Dozens of women have experienced life-changing breakthroughs in this program.

You will be part of a small cohort of remarkable women and be guided to make deeply meaningful personal discoveries. When you arrive at our fabulous 3-day retreat, your discoveries will crystalize into a powerful vision — of the women you are becoming and the life you want to create.

We go deep together, in a space filled with loving energy. We play, we create, we share, and sometimes tears are shed. All of it supports life-changing breakthroughs, that I have been thrilled to witness at each Live Big Live! retreat.

Read what past participants have said about Live Big Live! (Enjoy the short videos there, too.)

Take your first step!

Let’s have a call to see if this program is right for you.

Schedule a call today

Another fast way to connect is to simply email me and we’ll make a date.

How to connect to the truth in your heart

Part of the reason so many accomplished women second-guess themselves (the topic I wrote about last week), and struggle when it comes to confidently speaking their truth, is that they are disconnected from their truth — their deep desires and beliefs.

Many have walled off their hearts.

Sometimes it’s out of fear. Sometimes it has not occurred to them to explore their deep desires, and a block has developed around their hearts. And sometimes they are living life at such a frantic pace that they have not made time for thoughtful reflection.

In any of these scenarios, the wall progressively gets taller and harder to penetrate.

Whether you relate to being disconnected from what you really want, or you lack true clarity about your beliefs, or (like so many great women) you know there is more in your heart to bring into the light, I invite you to take some action and see what happens.

How to start? Get curious!

Curiosity is powerful. When you embrace this mindset your heart will open up more easily and you will feel free to explore there.

Devoting just a few minutes a day for a week or two will reveal a lot.

As you pursue the exploration, you will make meaningful discoveries that will, in turn, make it easier to start speaking your truth.

Why not begin today? 

Grab a journal and do some probing

Pick from the prompts on this list, or dive into each of them.

• Explore your biggest dream. You know, the one that has been whispering (or maybe shouting?) to be heard.

• Consider what your heart yearns to tell you. You may need to sit with this one a bit and simply ask your heart, “What do you want me to know?" followed by, “What else?” How deeply can you probe?

• Ask yourself, if you were not afraid, what message would you find in the deep recesses of your heart. Also ask, if you were not afraid, what would you love to try or love to do?

• Ask yourself what you truly want — in this moment (it could be a hot cup of cocoa, or taking a walk in the woods) and honor it. Even if it is something you cannot do right away, put a date on your calendar and do it.

• Then, ask the bigger question about what you want: What do you want in your life? You might say more love, or a new job, or to travel, or peace of mind. Whatever shows up is great. Write all of it down.

• Also ask yourself what you want to say. It may be something that you have held back on. It may be something you have not dared to say — ever, or to someone in particular.

Reflect on what emerges

You may be surprised at what shows up for you. If so, sit with the insights and see how they settle in your mind.

If truths about which you had awareness have been confirmed in your exploration, you will likely feel more sure and clear.

With the insights and clarity that come to light, it is also likely that you will feel more positively about (and maybe even eager about) speaking your truth in a bigger way, and with more confidence.

And if you still feel tentative about giving voice to or acting on those insights, that’s fine. This is a process that unfolds at different paces and in different ways for everyone. 

Acknowledge yourself for taking action

Every step you take to gain clarity and perspective is significant. Give yourself a smile in the mirror and a “Yay me!” each time you carve out time to probe your heart and reflect on what shows up.

Next week, I will share ways to practice speaking your truth — or speaking more of your truth — with more confidence and ease.

Until then, why not envision yourself experiencing more satisfaction and comfort doing that? (There is more power in visualizing the outcomes you want than you may know!)

I am always happy to hear about your explorations and your aha’s, as well as your questions. 

And if you want to consider having support so you can step into living the truly fulfilling future you yearn for, let's talk soon. I have a several program options that may be a fit for you, and one of them kicks of in a few weeks. Email me and we’ll make a date.

Are you ready to stop second-guessing yourself?

Maybe as you grew up, you were not encouraged to share your opinions and ideas. That was my experience.

And maybe it took you time to find the courage to speak up without frequently second-guessing yourself. (That was my experience as well.)

Whatever the root, many accomplished women have shared with me that it can be hard for them to speak up with ease.

Sadly, many brilliant women find themselves holding back or feeling doubtful about speaking what they know is true and important.

Why we second-guess ourselves

Some women have had a hit to their confidence — confidence that used to be solid. Often a toxic work environment has left this mark, but personal challenges can also be the cause.

Some women — maybe those you’d least expect — have struggled with speaking their truth over many years.

Whether it is in a meeting, in an important conversation, or another setting, some women compare themselves to others and feel they do not measure up.

Some feel like an imposter, and are fearful they will be “found out” as a fraud.

Some have a story lodged in their brain (often having been planted by a family member, a teacher, or a sports coach) that they were not good at something specific, or were generally “not good enough.” Those stories feel real, even when there is evidence that they are false.

While it can take some time, these are all limitations we can learn to overcome when we have support and good tools.

Self-awareness provides insight

In my next Big Ideas email we’ll dive into gentle, revelatory ways to connect to your truth and your deep desires — even in the midst of a busy life.

Until then, I invite you to think about reasons that contribute to your moments of self-doubt.

If you feel less confident than in the past, are you clear about the reason?

Can you take an objective look back? Can you try and reframe your perspective when you find your confidence MIA?

If you recall being told something that lodged a limiting belief in your mind, can you look at it through a different lens now? 

Whether a hurtful message was imparted when you were small, when you were starting your professional career, or was experienced recently, it is helpful to notice when it shows up, pause to reconsider it, and reflect on it clearly through your eyes today. 

Can you think of times that disprove the limiting belief or lack of confidence?

Each time I have asked a client, she can think of multiple times in the past when she was able to do a thing she doubted in the moment. 

You, too, can think about times in your past when you were able do something you currently doubt. When you take note of that evidence, you can bring new energy to what is in front of you!

Can you feel a difference now?

Every time you tune in, get clear, and are able to take a small new step to show up in a bigger way, you grow. And over time, with ongoing focus and commitment, your growth accelerates.

Give yourself a “Yay me!” each time you gain new awareness, and each time you are able to show up in a bigger way (even it you start with small changes).

If you want support to get to the root of your doubt and turn it around, email me and let’s talk. I have a several program options to support you.

Let’s figure out what you really want

Here’s a question that may sound simple: Do you know what you want?

It’s an important question, but many women consider it in a superficial way.

Knowing what you truly want matters

In the midst of a busy life, it’s rare to take time to ask yourself what you deeply desire.

In the moment, you may want space to think, or to feel calm. You may want something yummy to eat, or feel the desire to connect to someone you miss.

Those desires are meaningful and always worth honoring.

It’s the the desires in your heart that lie deeper — those about which you have awareness and those that may be buried and need to be mined for — that many of us rarely explore.

Those deep desires are the key to creating a future that will be truly fulfilling.

You can learn to explore your deep desires

My life was on autopilot for decades. I had no idea there was another way to live. I took each day as it came, put out fires that flared, made the best decisions I could, and kept going.

It was not until I started working with a brilliant coach that I began making shifts — small at first — that opened up a world of new insight and new ways of being.

I learned to slow down, to tap my heart and listen to my intuition. I was asked great questions I hadn’t ever considered. Answering those questions lead to tremendous new awareness.

Everything I have learned, including my formal training, informs the work I now do with other accomplished women who are at a crossroads, in a transition, or are figuring out what's next.

And it’s a joy to share my approaches with great women.

Here are 3 ways to start finding your answers

1. You can begin slowly and take steady action

If you like to start with small steps, I invite you to order a copy of my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life. It’s full of wonderful small practices you can use each day to bring meaningful shifts into your life. (And the book is so lovely that you will want to pick it up often!)

2. Say “Yes” to a workshop experience

I developed a my Dream Big Vision-Board Workshop to help women go deep into their hearts and find their desires and truth — and capture it all visually, so they can stay committed to what they want in their lives.

I led the workshop this past weekend (see the photo below of the amazing boards that were made!) and I am exploring a date to offer the workshop again.

Sign up for my emails to get announcements, and reach out if you want to plan a special workshop for your team or group.

3. Explore what a breakthrough can look like for you

Check out my signature program Live Big Live! The spring retreat is launching soon, so this opportunity may be perfectly timed for you. (And, there are other coaching options, too.)

You can read what many remarkable women have said about their coaching experiences and outcomes, and see what resonates for you.

Self-awareness makes everything possible

All of the suggestions I included above are paths to personal insight that will set the stage for you to gain clarity and experience significant personal growth.

I would love to hear about the future you yearn to create.

And I would be delighted to provide you with new perspectives and insight, to help you gain some self-awareness right away.

Email me, or book a call here.

I look forward to our conversation!

Here are the beautiful, exciting vision boards each woman made at the workshop on Saturday. Each board shines with the clarity that was revealed in our time together!

How to play your way to a more fulfilling life

You, like most women I talk to and work with, may be focused on all you want to accomplish, and sometimes struggle to slow down and make space for yourself.

Paradoxically, you may also feel sluggish or stuck from time to time.

Some women express it as being in a funk, or feeling drained. 

They want to feel energized and upbeat, but that energy sometimes feels out of reach.

Play is a great way to ignite your spirit

When you feel low and cannot think of ways to shift into a positive, energized frame of mind, choosing to play works wonders!

And, playing sometimes sounds a bit odd to serious professionals.

I invite to you consider play with deeper insight.

Play is more beneficial than you may know

As adults, playing can sometimes feel complicated, and unimportant.

Consider that studies show that play releases endorphins (hormones in the brain and nervous system that make us feel happy). Play also helps our brains function better, reduces stress, and stimulates creativity. It even boosts physical health.

Try some (or many) of these fun ideas

Do you love collecting?

Whether you love to roam through antique markets, take walks on the beach in search of shells or driftwood, or search online for special items, set aside time, dive in, and enjoy!

Maybe games appeal to you.

Board games, competitive sports, or other types of games, excite lots of people. Rather than being a spectator, dive in! And playing these games with other people can add to the pleasure you’ll experience.

Maybe you like more solitary fun.

Choose a great jigsaw puzzle, word puzzles, or number puzzles and settle in to enjoy them.

Does exploring excite you?

You can get lost on purpose on a return trip from a meeting or errands and see what you discover. Or go to a place nearby that has intrigued you and explore in those surroundings.

You can create in so many ways!

Play with color and materials! Whether you enjoy drawing; using bright colored paints, pencils or markers; molding clay or throwing vessels on a potter’s wheel; sewing and other handwork; or building things, doing something creative and expressive is a great way to bring the spirit of play into your day!

There are endless possibilities for play. Maybe you have favorites I did not mention that you want to do more of, or are curious to try. 

Consider recruiting kids, friends, extended family, or coworkers to join the fun. The shared energy, laughter and mutual support will bring even more delight to your spirit!

What do you want more of?

Play fuels your life with positive energy, opening the way for you to connect to what really matters most for you, so you can pursue those things — even in the midst of a busy life.

It’s a game-changer to live your life with clarity about what you desire. 

And it’s a game-changer to live with a heart that is lit up.

This is how you create the life you want, day by day. It’s what I call living big!

My signature program, Live Big Live!, that was formed by my path to creating the life I desired, has helped great women like you to move past what has limited them so that they now live bigger, more confident and fulfilling lives. 

I would be happy to share the details about Live Big Live! (that will soon kick off for the spring) to see if it might take you to new heights.

Email me, or book a call here. I look forward to our conversation!

How to connect to your heart – and why you will be glad you did

I arrived home Sunday night, after many weeks of travel. It’s felt great to sleep in my own bed, prepare breakfast in my kitchen, to wake up, get outside, and see my neighborhood with fresh eyes.

It got me thinking about the concept of “coming home” and how we always have the opportunity to come home to ourselves.

“Coming home” to ourselves is about heart connection

When we rush through life we disconnect from our hearts.

Happily, we can always return and reconnect there. We have endless opportunities to look inside with fresh eyes.

The key is to get quiet and consider who we are, who we yearn to become, and mine the desires that sit in our hearts.

How do you want to live? How do you want to work? How do you want to play? With whom do you want to share it all? What impact do you want to have in the world? Why does it matter?

Connecting to the heart is different for everyone

Some of my clients are aware of a yearning, or have clear insights into their desires for their lives.

For other women, there’s a disconnect from their deep feelings and desires. Their hearts feel inaccessible. Many feel stuck. Most believe that, with help, they can find and awaken what is waiting to be discovered in their hearts. 

And for many women, there’s middle-ground awareness.

They think they have an idea of what they want, or at least feel clear that something is brewing. They want to find about what is waiting to come fully into the light.

Whatever category they fall into, they want to be able to move forward with clarity that can serve as a compass.

You can “come home” even when you have not been away

I encourage women to regularly make heart connections, wherever they are.

Making a “heart connection” entails tuning in to the subtle desires, feelings, and messages in your heart. By doing this you can stay truly connected to yourself, and live in alignment with what matters most.

Ideally we will all explore our hearts with some frequency.

And, it does not happen without setting the intention to get quiet and inquire.

It’s slowing down and making time for a practice like this that is step one for you to ‘come home to yourself.”

Not sure how to proceed?

Last week I wrote about the gifts of slowing down and being still, as I recognized the importance of making small shifts for myself, to work less hard and rest more. You may want to look at the tips I shared for ways to do that, so you can set the ideal condition for your journey of reconnecting to your heart.

Next decide how to get started.

Consider these approaches:

1. Make a plan

As each season changes, schedule an hour or two (or more!) to explore your heart. The start of each year is a great time to do this. Your birthday is another date that will be easy to remember. You may even want to do this on a monthly basis.

2. Start with some quiet breathing

Even two minutes of mindful breathing calms the nervous system. It helps you shift into quiet and allows more insight to flow forth. If you wish to spend more time breathing quietly, or want to meditate (in silence or listening to a guided meditation) go for it!

3. Start a journal

Most people like to write to explore their hearts. Why not choose a fresh journal for this and future explorations?

Writing by hand is best. (There is evidence that handwriting, as opposed to typing, activates the brain more, and in slowing us down brings more clarity.)

And while you may pick up a pen and be off and running, many people have trouble getting started.

You can use my Discovery Dozen™ exercise to get started, if you know it. It is explained in my book (Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life) and there are many examples there to inspire you.)

Or begin with a prompt. Some of these may work for you:
What I most want now is…
The emotions I sense now are…
What would make me happy is…
Even if I don’t know how to do it, I dream of…
It would be amazing if…

4. Make it visual

Even if you don’t consider yourself “artistic” there is something freeing about grabbing some markers or pens or crayons (maybe even some paints), to visually express what you feel and what you want.

Stick figures are fine! In fact, even if you are a trained artist, this can be a good time to just get the ideas onto paper quickly (and add some words, too), rather than focusing on making something with great care. If your attention is on a beautiful or “perfect” outcome, you may have trouble focusing on and connecting to the deep desires in your heart. 

5. Choose a partner

Some women find it easier to explore deeply in the company of a close friend. If you know someone who wants to dive in to her own heart, she may be a good person with whom to partner.

You can do this together in person, or make a virtual date. The key is to plan for uninterrupted time.

Talk about how you each want to approach the exploration. One of you may use a journal and the other may want to use colored markers on a large sheet of paper. You may want to walk in nature and talk to get started, or to reflect together. You may each want to simply have company and not share at all. 

Set clear ground rules, too. Neither of you are there to tell the the other what she should do, nor are you are there to criticize anything that is shared.

And put the next date on your calendar!

Getting started is great, but if you approach this as a one-and-done process, you will miss a lot of potential for insight and growth over time. 

Choose the next time you will set time aside to return to this process.

Your outcomes are likely to be meaningful

Time and again, my journey to coming home to my heart has been powerful. It never fails to move me forward in new and meaningful ways.

And you can have guidance to take you to your most powerful outcomes.

This journey to the heart is what I designed my signature program, Live Big Live! to achieve. It is based on my own path to creating the life I desired, and incorporates an array of incredible approaches.

The program is designed to guide a small cohort of remarkable women to discover deeply, so they can set a clear vision for the next part of their lives and step into making that vision their reality. Not only do they have my guidance, they have the support of the other wonderful women who are on the journey with them.

I am moved to say that this program has been life-changing for dozens of past participants, 

If you want to hear more about the Spring Live Big Live! opportunity, let’s talk soon. 

I will listen to learn about what is happening in your life and what you yearn for, and I will provide you with fresh insights and perspective. And we can explore if Live Big Live! is a good fit for you. (If it's not, that’s fine.)

And if you want to simply catch up, or start a fresh new connection, I’d love that, too.

Email me, or book a call here. I look forward to our conversation!

What are you doing for YOU today?

I've lived a whirlwind of exciting travel the since mid-January, and I am deeply grateful for the amazing experiences I have enjoyed.

Living in Paris, then attending a life-changing retreat in Texas, and now spending time in Arizona, I have seen heart-stopping art, been in gorgeous urban and natural environments, shared time with people precious to me, and eaten wonderful food.

For most of these weeks I sustained a “normal” work schedule, coaching clients, speaking virtually, and attending meetings on Zoom.

I have also made art with a limited set of materials that I could carry with me, and have enjoyed quite a few surprises as I created in new ways.

And now, I am (finally) slowing down to give myself the gift of rest.

We are humans, not machines

My natural inclination is to be in motion, to do.

I have an abundance of ideas. There is so much that excites me. I love my work and love connecting to new people.

And paradoxically, one of the big messages I share in my speaking appearances and writing is that we need to slow down and be still. I teach that that ability and practice is the foundation of Living Big!

“Slow Down and Be Still” is the title of the first chapter of my book, and the entire first half of the book is about the being of Living Big! Of course, there is a natural rhythm for being and doing, it’s just that I often am out of balance. And I know I am not alone.

To quote myself, we are human beings, but we spend too much time doing and not enough time being.

And even machines need down-time, and routine maintenance!

We need to return to the basics, over and over

In conversations I have had recently, a number of women have shared that their crushing schedules and pressures at work have led to burnout.

A big contributor is that many women put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own.

I am not pushing as hard as I have in the past, but I have slipped, bit by bit, into too much doing without adequately focusing on my wellbeing.

I have reminded myself that “we teach what we need to learn.” For me, it is time to get back to the fundamentals.

Small ideas for slowing things down

The key for me, and for most women, is to start making really tiny shifts. We often underestimate the impact of making small consistent changes.

You may want to pick from these ideas and see what happens.

1. Make a bedtime shift

Many women tell me they stay up late and are exhausted in the morning. Why not adjust your evening routine and go to bed 10 or 15 minutes earlier? After a few days or a week, you may try for another 15 minutes earlier.

2. A little movement works wonders

Set a reminder on your phone to go off at least once an hour. Turn away from your computer and sit and breathe for 2 minutes. (Setting the timer for two minutes will allow you just relax and breathe!) Then stand up and stretch for another minute or two. 

3. Fresh air is a game-changer

So many people spend their days inside buildings and cars. Get outside and walk at least once each day! It can be to the corner and back, a spin around the block, a walk to a lunch spot you usually drive to, following on a path in a nearby park, or walking down a city street.

4. Create more “white space”

If you look at a magazine layout, the page is sure to have margins that designers have created to make the page easy and pleasurable to ready. Nobody wants to read a page crammed with solid text! That “white space” is important in life, too. Look at your calendar and create some “white space” for yourself this week and looking ahead. What have you said “yes” to that you can you skip? What can be delegated to someone else? What can be deferred?

5. Schedule something just for you

Look at your calendar and schedule in time (anywhere from an hour to a day!) for something that will make you happy! Who might you play with? What might you explore? What will light you up? What will make you feel great? 

6. There are endless possibilities!

If nothing on this list especially sparks your spirit, or you want to do more for yourself, think about something small that will do it for you. It could be eating a fresh salad with flavors you love, or getting tickets for the theater, or making a call to someone you miss. Find something that is just for you that you can make space for now.

It is important to be mindful about these practices!

If you see the busy creeping back in, return to the awareness of how you are living — and see if you can expand on these new ways of making space for yourself and your wellbeing!

The changes I am making now

I have one more week in Arizona before returning home. I am slowing down and it feels wonderful.

I have a bit of work on my schedule this week, but I have planned to do far less than usual.

I started getting more sleep.

I now start my day listening to music I love, rather than the news.

I am walking in nature every day.

I am making time to write from the heart.

I have set things up to be able to play and make art with ease. (While my new creative experiments are not yet posted, you can take a look at my artist website here.) 

And I am firmly committed to sustaining my focus on slowing down and being intentional about my schedule when I return home next week!

If you want to share your favorite small self-care tips — or you want to share your struggles to slow down — I invite you to email me, or book a call and we can talk.

What decisions are you making now?

When late last year, on a whim, my husband and I planned a month-long winter stay in Paris, I expected to return home, rest up to adjust to the jet lag for a week, and then head out again for another trip (this time to Arizona), that had been booked nearly two years ago.  

And then the universe offered me another opportunity.

It turns out that my coach settled on dates for a winter retreat for the mastermind program I am in, that I’d thought I would have to miss this year. The dates she picked had the retreat starting 4 days after my return from Europe.

My first thought was to skip the retreat.

I figured all the travel (2000 miles west of home this time) would be too much — too much time on planes, too much time away from my home, too much time away from work (this retreat means being off the grid!), after having had too little time to fully catch my breath.

And then I thought some more.

Some things are worth reconsidering

I thought about why I had committed to being in the program, and I thought about all that it does to support me to stretch, to grow, to learn and expand.

I focused on how it supports me to let go of more and more limiting beliefs and to bring deeper levels of insight and awareness to my life. The weekly meetings I attend are great, but the retreat is an especially powerful part of the program.

Doing this work allows me to become more of the woman I know I can and want to be. And in turn, I am able to better lead my clients to become the biggest, best versions of themselves, and create the lives they truly desire.

I was clear: To reap all of those outcomes, I knew I needed to be at the retreat.

And so, rather than focusing on the fatigue and time away, I decided to focus on the gifts of attending the retreat.

The outcomes can amaze you

The gifts of being at the retreat were tremendous!

I shared the experience with the fabulous crew in our program, all wonderful people doing superb work in the world. Led through a carefully designed sequence of exploration that ranged from deeply emotional to expressively fun, we all inspired one another to face the shadows, dive deep, claim our unique gifts, and rise high. 

I have just left the retreat as I am writing this.

I have much to savor and reflect on, and I am filled with exciting new insights and ideas to bring to my clients.

Rather than feeling fatigue, I am fueled!

What lens are you looking through now?

When you consider the life you are living now, what do you see?

Maybe you have suffered a setback. Or you may be figuring out what’s next that will light you up every day. Perhaps you are at a crossroads, or there is a big dream you have tucked away in your heart. Maybe you are stressed and burnt out. Maybe you feel you are meant to do something bigger.

Whatever it is, do you see opportunity or challenge?

I invite you to consider your perspectives, as well as the ways you invest in yourself and the future you desire.

Something bigger is possible

I know it’s easy to settle. It’s easy to drift through life, and let life happen. And that is fine — if it feels satisfying.

I lived that way for a long time, until I discovered there was an opportunity to wake up in my life, and I learned to create what my heart really desired.

I learned about the tremendous power we all have to leverage our innate creativity, to bring more of our greatness into the world and live our biggest, best lives.

I am honored to support to great women who are clear that something better awaits them. I love bringing these accomplished women together and guiding them to experience live-changing expansion.

One client recently marveled that when she thinks back to herself a year ago, she would never have believed the woman she has become. She left a toxic job and is launching a big new venture with confidence and excitement. And what she loves the most is the joy and satisfaction she enjoys in her daily life, that had felt out of reach for years.

You can have support, too. You can be surrounded by people who inspire you and lift you up. You can honor yourself and devote time for your well-being and your growth.

If you feel the call to explore what it can look like for you to embark on a journey of meaningful self-discovery and growth — or if you know you are ready to dive in — let’s connect.

I always welcome a conversation. I invite you to email me, or book a call with me here.

Every change offers an opportunity

I have just returned from my Paris adventure, including an exciting excursion to Amsterdam just last weekend, and am savoring countless special memories.

Living in another country meant making many adjustments over the weeks. (I wrote about adjustments, with tips for making easier ones, a few weeks ago.)

Now, being back home means adjusting to the new time zone, adjusting to a new rhythm of day-to-day life, and adjusting some perspectives, too.

Life is rarely static

My recent travel experiences, and the adjustments I made and am making now, are far from typical or routine.

Yet even without shifting locales, life calls on us to be flexible and make adjustments of all kinds.

I see it with my clients all the time.

Can you relate to this story?

In a coaching conversation yesterday, something came up with a client that was revealing on several levels.

An executive at a large institution, she has had to devote a tremendous amount of time and focus to a complex family matter for the last few months. The transaction is now complete, and she finds herself adjusting to the new “space” that has opened up in her life, now that calls, trips, decisions, and paperwork are no longer demanding her attention.

As we explored her reflection on having navigated all that transpired, and talked about the unsettled feelings she is having as she readjusts, a number of interesting insights showed up.

She was able to identify patterns of thinking, as well as perceptions she has of herself and others, that put a spotlight on changes she now realizes are possible for her.

By taking a close look at ways she tends to make decisions, ways she resists asking for help, situations when she perceives things as stressful that could be seen differently, and ways she tends to show up in a quieter way than she longs to, it was clear that the period of adjustment she is entering offers her opportunities to bring awareness and change into her life and work.

We all have the opportunity to learn and grow

I love working with women who want to take a close look at how they are operating in their lives, and take action to bring positive change and show up fully in their lives. Because life offers us all the opportunity to adjust in meaningful ways all the time.

Rather than drifting, the women I coach become creators of a life that allows them, step after deliberate step, to feel more fully alive.

They become more visible and comfortable to show up authentically. They shed old beliefs that have limited them. They find balance in an always-evolving life, where they take on challenges and leverage opportunities.

They shine — and as they do they feel joy.

Stepping into living big in these ways is something that takes time, and can sometimes be challenging. It’s being in the process and having tools and support, that makes the effort easier and the pace faster.

Is your bigger life calling you?

When you are ready to bring change into your life, to show up fully and with less struggle, so that you can make the next part of your life truly fulfilling, here’s how I can help:

Explore Live Big Live!
This is my signature program, that most women choose. Live Big Live! includes private sessions with me, group support with a small cohort of amazing women, and a 3-day retreat experience that ushers in powerful breakthroughs.

Explore private coaching
A number of private coaching options are offered, and custom options can be designed, too. 

Explore Live Big for Life
Live Big for Life is a longer-term program that women often choose after their Live Big Live! experience. (Scroll down the web page to read the description.)

And, some women step directly into the powerful Live Big for Life program, to have a year (and more) of coaching support that is life-changing.

Inside of Live Big for Life, you attend all three Live Big Live! retreats each year, have ongoing private coaching support, and benefit from group coaching in a mastermind. The outcomes of this program have been truly remarkable

Your biggest life can start with a conversation.

This is your opportunity to share your big desires, as well as what is in your way now. I promise to provide fresh insights and perspectives. And, if we both think the fit is good, we can talk about a way for you to get support to live your biggest life. (No pressure ever!)

There's no cost for us to talk, but I only offer two calls a week. If you want to grab one of those spots, use this link to my calendar: LiveBigCall.com.

PS  As I make my adjustments to returning from Europe, I am continuing to share photos I took while I was away.  If you missed seeing photos I took on my adventures in Paris and Amsterdam, and want to see some new ones too, check out my instagram feed. 

The magic I watched unfold

Have you witnessed magic lately?

I am delighted to say that I have.

Not only has it been magical to be in Paris for nearly 3 weeks, a few days ago I reveled in the joy of witnessing real magic unfold.

This is what I was privileged to see.

A group of remarkable women spent three days with me (virtually) at the winter Live Big Live! retreat, shaping their personal visions. Each faced the doubts and fears that cropped up for her, and each made concrete plans for how she will make her vision real.

The truly exciting thing was seeing how each woman found profound and deep insight about herself as we moved through the retreat.

Their discoveries not only helped them shape their visions clearly, they helped them commit to creating the futures they dream of.

Why the women came to Live Big Live!

Some of the women are launching new businesses, reshaping existing businesses, or envisioning new possibilities for their work. 

Some have recently embarked on a new professional journey. Some are focused on how they will simultaneously pursue two significant interests with ease.

All got clear about what they will do to propel their endeavors forward.

And excitingly, each is now aiming higher than she ever dared before, and each is excited to have a new level of impact.

This ambition is grounded in a solid foundation of belief in all that is possible.

And as each woman mapped out how she will actually make her vision real in the coming months, she was guided to focus on and value more than just her work.

Each is also considering the ways her relationships, her care for her physical health and well-being, attending to an environment that will support her, nurturing her spirit, and considering her legacy will help her enjoy the best quality of life.

The creation I saw unfold

All of the magic I witnessed at the retreat was fueled in significant ways as the women had a big creative experience each day.

(It’s likely, as a reader of my Big Ideas, that you are aware of how strongly I believe in the creative power we all possess, and that I advocate for both expressive creativity — think singing, drawing, writing and lots more — and appreciating and adopting the mindset of a creator.

With the mindset of a creator, you are able to create all day, every day. As you make each decision, and as you consider your response to each new possibility, challenge and opportunity, you stop reacting and are able to generate new ideas for what is possible.)

On each day of Live Big Live! I introduced a specific creative experience to support the focus of our day.

These experiences facilitated deep access to emotion, resulting in new insights and perspectives for all.

And the visual power of everything they expressed was remarkable!

Check out the images below to see some of what emerged.

What are you ready to create now?

If you are thinking about the truly fulfilling life you yearn to live — whether you have had a setback, are at a crossroads, yearn for something to change, or have a burning desire or dream you want to make real — let’s talk about it.

I believe in the power of a great conversation. I can share more about the ways Creative Core Coaching leverages the power of creation, and we can explore whether the next Live Big Live! (or other support) may be a good fit for you.

Whatever the outcome, I will be happy for us to connect. 

I invite you to email me, or find a date on my calendar.

Here are two wonderful collages (each with the front of the collage on the left and the back of the collage next to it), that were created at the Live Big Live retreat last week.

What if you took a closer look at your life now?

I realize, after nearly two weeks, that I have new awareness as I am living in Paris. Some of what I am observing today are small and subtle things I did not consider much before I embarked on this trip.

Among the things I am reflecting on now, are:

The joy of curiosity

I am appreciating curiosity more deeply than ever. Living in a new place there are things all around that are not usual for me, and they invite inquiry. I want to bring this keen curiosity home with me, as it opens insights and thinking and spawns ideas in wonderful ways.

The joy of exploring

There is daily delight as I head to new places and follow my nose, research origins and stories, and make small discoveries along the way. Opportunities abound, and I realize that I don't need to be in a new city to infuse my life with this joy.

Looking at the world through fresh eyes

Seeing this way has awakened my heart and provided new perspectives. Being in a new city makes it particularly easy and pleasant to observe the world through a new lens, and I realize its possible to see this way anywhere, any time.

Sometimes you need to get past the annoying parts

Alongside the pleasures I mentioned, some daily tasks are less than fun. There are things you need to fix or figure out. There are conundrums to sort through and deadlines to meet, when you’d rather be out and about. And there are challenges communicating across six or more time zones.

Things like these are always in the mix. The key is to deal with them and move on, without letting them sour your day or dampen your experience.

We can build daily awareness

As you read what I shared, did you pause and think about ways that you bring curiosity into your life, or find joy exploring new places, or reflect on how you look at the world?

How about your reaction to thinking about what you do when annoying things show up in your day?

Perhaps you feel inspired to think about changes you might aim to make in your life now.

Awareness can inspire a desire for change

Some changes you decide to undertake may be small and subtle, and some may be more significant.

It is always possible to change — even to make changes that seem challenging.

When you realize that you have agency in your life — that you have control over your actions, and their consequences — you can do more than you may even think is possible right now.

You can choose to do things new ways, to see with new perspectives, to respond differently than in the past.

It begins with awareness, thought, and the decision to make a change.

Then you can take small, deliberate action.

Notice that I said small.

Its the small consistent steps that really count. Rather than aiming to make sweeping changes fast (which typically leads to frustration and even abandoning your efforts), choose to take small steps and stick with them. You will be amazed at how they add up, and become your new way of being more easily over time.

The changes you make matter

When you live with awareness and make change, you reap many benefits. And you can can expand your efforts over time, building new change on the foundation of previous change.

And, you model the changes you make for everyone around you.

If, for instance, you bring more curiosity to what you do each day, or you move through annoyances with more ease and grace, your energy, and the outcomes of your actions will be noticed. 

The people around you are sure to be inspired by what they see and feel. And some may choose to  take action in the same directions, or the directions that are right for them

Before long, all of these changes ripple out, likely far beyond what you can even imagine today.

You can start now

I invite you to choose one small way you want to bring a change into your life.

Next, think of one really small way to introduce that change into your day. (For instance, if you choose to see the world through fresh eyes, consider something on your schedule for the day, and set the intention to consider it with a fresh perspective before moving forward.)

After taking the action, or later in your day, pause to reflect on what you tried and how it went. Then choose a small way to practice the change again the next day, and repeat the process.

After a week, you will have some good observations. You can think about how to expand on the kind of actions and situations that will support you to making the change you seek a natural, ongoing way of being.

If you are looking for ideas for change that will light up your life, and actions and practices to help you make those changes, check out my book. 

And if you want to consider having a guide to support you, reach out and we can make a date to talk about the changes you want to bring into your life, and how you can create the truly fulfilling life you dream of.

Email me, or find a date on my calendar.

We are always making adjustments. Yours can be easier.

My decision to live in to Paris for a month was a big one, and I am happy to say that my adventure is off to a great start!

And, deciding to undertake something complex and new like this was not so easy. After the idea was sprung, I had to prepare for myriad details. And now that I am here, I’m adjusting to new routines, resources and patterns. 

What do you find yourself adjusting to now?

One of my clients just started a new job. It’s with a company she has done work with for a while, but now she’s there full time. She is adjusting to new demands on her time and attention, new deadlines, new dynamics with the team and new challenges.

Another client has recently been showing up in a bigger way in her role as a senior leader. She finds herself adjusting to this new way of being, as well as to the feedback she is getting — all of which is positive.

Because, even when things go well we are called on to adjust to changes.

And when you grow and expand, the first adjustment is to the new version of you!

How to make easier adjustments

Whether you are adjusting to small changes to your routine or bigger changes — that feel exciting or feel challenging — these 5 steps may help you move forward with ease.

1. Build awareness

Pay attention to the change that’s underway. Sometimes this will be obvious (like my temporary move to Paris and the client who started a new job). Sometimes the change will be more subtle.

My client who started to present her ideas in new ways, and also set better boundaries, did not immediately realize that she needed to fucus on how these changes called on her to make new adjustments.

And, sometimes we are in denial about matters that are imposing change or require adjustments.

It is helpful to do some daily check-ins with yourself to identify issues and gain perspective. 

You may want to briefly journal at the end of the day and take note of things that came up in your thoughts during the day, or things you can better observe when you reflect back over the way your day unfolded.

2. Focus on the positive

Whether you choose to write in a journal or not, be sure to note positive things that relate to matters that call for adjustment.

It’s second nature for many of us to focus on challenges more than opportunities, and we certainly do need to be aware of challenges and plan for overcoming them.

And, we benefit when we look for the opportunities we have in nearly every situation. Be sure to think about the upside and opportunities that are available when adjusting to any change.

3. Stay clear and calm

What practices support you to think clearly?

You may like to meditate, walk in nature, do yoga, or spend quiet time listening to inspiring music. You may turn to a trusted friend to be a sounding board, or have another way you like to quiet your mind and reduce tension.

Whether you create a daily practice to stay clear and centered, or have a go-to way of getting focused when troubling thoughts start to highjack you, it’s important to know your best ways to get back to clear thinking and feeling calm.

4. Be kind to yourself

Some adjustments tend to spawn self-doubt. It’s easy to slip into feeling concerned about your ability to navigate a matter.

This is a time to practice self-love, and to be compassionate and patient with yourself. Check out this post to learn more about the power of self-love.

And while fear is something that is likely to show up when you are making adjustments, you can learn to turn that limiting emotion around.

Check out this article I wrote on LinkedIn about ditching fear. This blog post on how to think positively may help you, too.

5. Get support

Everyone needs help now and then. Whether you choose to get help to figure out a fulfilling path forward in your life, or you want help to make it easier and faster to make an adjustment you are working through, its great to have support.

After decades of resisting help, I have experienced that seeking out and having support has been life-changing.

The support of great coaches and mentors has been key to me moving through many challenges more easily and quickly than back in the days when I was sure I could do just fine on my own.

And, I might never have made the bolder, truly significant moves in my life that my coaches and mentors helped me see as possible, and helped me to make my reality.

I am here if you want to talk

Whether you want to share an adjustment you are facing now or the future you yearn to create, I invite you to reach out and connect. Or, you can schedule a call with me directly if you wish. I have opened 3 new appointments for these calls.

Our half-hour call (with no cost or obligation) can help you make an adjustment now, and see what is possible in your life in ways you may never have considered.

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Are you ready for take-off?

If you read saw my post last week, you know that I’m taking off on an adventure today. I will be living in Paris for a whole month, and am enormously excited as I embark on this experience!

There's something magical about the moment we start a new adventure.

Whether it is traveling to explore and have new experiences in special places, or when you start anything new and meaningful, great opportunities await you.

This is a perfect time to consider the adventures you want to create in 2023.

What are you ready for now?

The fresh new year is full of vast possibilities!

What projects — related to your work and your personal life — do you feel called to make your focus this year?

What are you ready to start?

Is there a dream, or project, or initiative that you want to get off the ground?

Think about business-or work-related efforts, and also personal initiatives.

For a personal initiative, perhaps you want to start a new friendship, or create a new dynamic with family members, or plan a new garden so you can have fresh flowers and produce to enjoy as the year unfolds.

Also consider you.

Is there a new way of being you want to cultivate? Do you want to start showing up in the world in a new way?

Perhaps it’s time to start creating more space for your wellbeing — like reading, or expressing yourself through music or drawing, or pursuing a particular interest?

I’d be happy to send you a lovely guide, Creating Space for YOU to help you do that with ease, Simply email me and I'll get it right off to you. (You can forward it to friends, too, so you can start making great changes together.)

What have you begun that you want to accelerate the pace on now?

Perhaps something you started stalled out, or had to be put aside for some reason.

Is this the time to bring renewed focus and energy toward getting it moving with more velocity?

Think about things that might fall into this category that are related to your professional life and your personal life. Which one feels most meaningful or exciting to get moving?

Returning your attention — and setting clear intensions — to something that your care about that was put aside for any number of reasons will be very satisfying.

Make a plan for what your first small step can be. And put a date on your calendar when you will take that step.

What do you dream of launching now?

There may be a new project or enterprise you’ve been thinking about and you feel ready to plan to make that dream a reality.

How will you lay the foundation?

Who will you talk to for input or advice?

What research will you do?

Who might you invite into the process?

What first steps will you take to move it forward this year?

The choices you make now matter

You have the power to create the reality you truly wish for. 

How is that possible?

Start with willingness to transform and grow, to embrace the mystery and go deep, and to engage in the process of creating the life you want.

Add belief — belief that you matter. Belief that you deserve to put yourself first, knowing that when you make yourself a priority you perform at your best and are better for everyone else in your orbit. And when you embrace all of your creative power, you naturally believe in every possibility. 

Dive in to find clarity about what you truly desire, what really matters most. What will you make your focus, and why? When you mine your heart and listen to your intuition you will make clear choices.

Then make commitments. It’s necessary and worthwhile to create structure and space in your life to take action to make what you care about your reality. And commitment to cultivate creativity of every kind. This commitment to yourself and to the ongoing focus and effort required to implement change in your life will lead to remarkable growth, satisfaction, and joy.

Whatever you choose to set your sights on will will be fueled by new clarity and energy. 

If you want to talk about the year (and life) you dream of, and what may be holding you back from realizing that vision, I would be happy for us to talk.

Although I’ll be away, I am making time for 5 Live Big Breakthrough Calls this month — and there's no cost to you. I’m happy to support you in gaining perspective and new insights as you step into a year that’s full of potential for adventures of all kinds.

Email me and we’ll find a time that works in both of our time zones. 

The lesson I learned again—that you may want to tune into

2023 did not begin as I had expected.

I was looking forward to the fresh new year, and living with my newly-set intention to amplify many things in my life (which you may have seen in the post I sent last week, when I shared my carefully-chosen word for the year).

A big part of my intention was — and is — to amplify devotion to the wellbeing of my body. And tucked neatly into that intention was slowing down.

If you have read my book, or heard me speak, you know that the first chapter of my book is Slow Down and Be Still. I made that the first chapter intuitively. As time has passed I have come to understand that slowing down is the foundation for living big.

So, you would think I have that down.

But living that principle, consciously slowing down, has been a challenge for me. It’s something I need to return to time and again. This past year I pushed myself harder than was healthy, and so tucked tidily into my word of the year was a clear intention to slow down and give my physical wellbeing the reverence it deserves.

And when I awoke on January 1, ready to step over the threshold of a fresh new year, I was sick. Sick with COVID.

After 2 years and 10 months of vigilance, vaxed and boosted and cautiously wearing a mask every time I was out of my home, a highly-contagious variant snuck past my defenses.

I’ve had no choice but to slow down!

While the symptoms have been managed well with medicines on hand, I slept through the first 4 days, and have continued to be enormously tired.

 It feels as though the universe stepped in on day 1 of the new year to test my commitment to slowing down!

And a part of me feels grateful. 

I have proof now. It is possible to slow down and take care of my body. There are people who can help me in all sorts of ways. I feel sure I am doing as well as I am because I did not push myself or do too much. And I am deeply committed to honoring what my body needs.

The timing was also “perfect,” or as close to perfect as it could be.

Because I’d made plans to travel on January 17 — to Paris! My husband and I will live in Paris for a month, and we have been looking forward to the adventure for some time.

I am grateful that we have plenty of time to fully recover (yes, he came down with COVID two days after I did), and prepare for the trip without pushing ourselves.

In the long-run, the imposed “pause” of this illness will be only a small blip on a year filled with experiences to be savored and expansion of our hearts.

I invite you consider how you can slow down and live into your commitments to yourself for 2023, whatever they are.

And while I will be away, I will not be out of touch.

Look for my weekly emails and blog posts (photos of Paris are sure to be sprinkled in!). I will be working with clients, doing some remote speaking, and will make creating a regular part of my life — all at reduced intensity. After all, there’s an amazing city I am eager to explore and enjoy.

With love and wishes for you to have a joyous, healthy new year.

One word can impact your whole year — really!

Welcome 2023! Wishing you a happy, healthy, joyous new year.

In last week's post I shared my word-of-the-year process. If you chose a word for your year, this is the moment to start living it.

If you missed it, or have not yet chosen your word, it's not too late to use the process. Find a few minutes to sit quietly and choose a word to guide you for this year.

Your word can have more impact than a resolution

I have found this practice to go deeper and have much more impact on my life than making new year resolutions, which quickly fall to the wayside for most people. My clients have also chosen words to guide their years that have significantly impacted their lives.

In last week’s post I offered a list of questions to chose from to get you started, and the post includes a link to my streamlined process, too.

You can combine the approaches or stick to the simpler version.

I hope your word will be meaningful for you now, and throughout 2023.

Last week I also promised to share my word for 2023 with you.

My word for 2023

As you can see, in addition to selecting a word, I always add the specific ways I intend to live into my word.

By printing it out and pinning it were I see it each day, I stay inspired and clear about my intentions throughout the year. I invite you to do that, too.

My new year gift to you

When you have selected your word for 2023, I'd be happy to typeset it for you, as I do for mine each year. I will do this for the first 10 people who send me their word for 2023.

Simply email me, and if you are one of the first 10 responses I receive, I will send you a PDF that you can print out and hang where you will see it, and be inspired by it, each day.

I am eager to hear the word you choose to help make 2023 your best year ever.

Sending you wishes for a new year filled with creative energy to fuel abundant love, happiness, peace, and prosperity.

How to end the year with insight and inspiration

In the last few days of 2022, many people have time away from work. Some are focused on family, some share a string of holiday celebrations, some are on vacation.

Whether you are busy in any of these ways, or you are working through the holiday, this week is an ideal time to create space for reflection and dreaming.

Start with using the guide below to do a “year in review” of your life in 2022, then look ahead to 2023.

Give yourself the gift of time to reflect

Our days flow by, and as we move along we rarely pause to take in the bigger picture.

I made a date with myself this past weekend to get cozy, sit with my journal, and do some reflecting. With music playing and candles flickering, I posed a number of questions to myself and did a bit of writing about each if them.

Pick questions from these lists and see what happens for you. (You may want to print this out and have it next to you as you write.)

First, go through your calendar for the past year and ask these questions:

What were the key things that happened each month?

Are there themes or patterns that you notice?

What excited you? What highlights do you want to put a star next to?

If you were making a top-10 list of your year, what would you include?

Why was each item on your top-10 list so great or meaningful?

Continue to reflect with some or all of these questions: 

Where did you struggle last year?

What were your wisest decisions? Your lessons learned?

What new habits did you develop, or deepen?

What did you stop doing?

Who influenced you the most this year?

What was the biggest or most meaningful thing you completed?

What relationships did you start, or deepen, or release?

What was left unfinished this year?

How did you take care of yourself?

When were you courageous?

What are you ready to let go of now?

What are you most proud of? What can you celebrate? (Don’t overlook the small things!)

Can you find gratitude for all of it — the things that delighted you and things that challenged you — knowing that all of them have been meaningful?

Next, look ahead to the new year

You may want to pause after taking stock of the past year, and then start fresh (later, or the next day) and look ahead.

Consider these questions, and feel free to add any others that come to mind:

What would make 2023 a great year for you?

What intentions do you want to set now?

What will you say “yes” to, and what will you say “no” to?

What do you want more of this year? What do you want less of?

What will you explore?

How will you invest in yourself?

How will you express yourself?

What will you create?

What new declaration are you ready to make now?

Then, choose a word to guide your new year

I have been choosing a word-of-the-year for a long time, using a short practice I have shared in the past. I am glad to share it again, as I’ve just returned to the process before embarking on 2023.

As you will see in this word-of-the-year post, that I wrote in 2018, I propose that you start by answering a short list of questions. They are similar to the longer list I shared above.

Whichever questions you use, your answers will prepare you to follow my process — and reading the examples I've shared in the post may help you consider the word that fits best for you now.

I will share my word for 2023 with you soon, and would be happy for you to share the word of the year you choose for yourself. Simply send me an email.

Until we connect next week, at the start of a fresh new year filled with wonderful possibilities, I’m sending wishes to you for abundant health, happiness, creativity and love.

Ignite the magic of light

This time of year is special. The holiday season is underway, with celebrations of Hannukka begun and Christmas coming soon, as well as other winter festivities and holidays. 

With all of the darkness these last weeks — which the Winter Solstice will bring to a turning point on the 21st — it’s comforting to know that we will be heading toward a bit more daylight each day.

It’s in this season of cold days and so much darkness that we crave light.

Houses are adorned in lights that makes for loveliness as we move about outdoors. Christmas trees twinkle in windows, and menorahs are lit with candles for eight nights. Walking through Boston, where I live, one sees glittering lights all around. They bring delight.

Why light touches us

The emotions we feel seeing so many sparkling, twinkling lights, and candle flames glowing, are scientifically proven to have calming properties.

The lights, candle flames and fires burning in fireplaces can trigger dopamine — the chemical in our brains that makes us feel good. This physiological response from our nervous system makes us feel happier, and for some, adding color to the lights enhances the response.

The beauty of light lifts our spirits and brings joy. 

How to bring more beauty into your life

All sorts of beauty touches the heart.

Perhaps you can add beauty to your day by setting a table with attention to colors.

You might plate food with sprigs of herbs, wedges of lemons, or other garnishes to add delight to the eyes and taste buds.

Adding music to the atmosphere is another sensory way to enhance beauty, as is choosing soft textures again your skin.

You may want to adorn yourself in something that makes you feel special, and give gifts to others that will bring more beauty into their lives.

We can all be the light 

The way we each live and relate to others is another way we can bring more light, and beauty, into the world.

Let’s all be aware of the opportunity we have to be that light.

To be open, loving and generous. To see the best in the people around us. To be kind, to smile and laugh.

We can each light up hearts — our own, and the hearts around us.

That’s a beautiful vision I am holding now. I hope you will join me.

Are you missing the joy of the season?

Are you able to give yourself a break?

Can you let go of expectations?

Think about the perceived expectations of others that occupy your thoughts, as well as the expectations you impose on yourself.

This is territory I know well, and at this time of year, when the world around us is in a whirl, thinking about all of those expectations, and which you may want to let go of, can be a great gift to give yourself.

What expectations are adding pressure now?  

Let’s look at work

Many business executives, entrepreneurs, and other professionals are focused on year-end results. For some that includes closing as much business as possible in the last weeks of the year. For some there are projects to complete before the calendar turns.

While those expectations can be internal, they often come from bosses, investors, clients or shareholders.

For those feeling expectations like these, there is some relief in knowing that we can muscle through a few weeks and start anew in the new year.

Next, let’s think about the holidays

This season impacts people in many different ways.

Some are fully into the holiday party scene. They love decorating, hosting and gifting. Shopping for or planning great outfits, salon trips for fresh haircuts and manicures, are a joy for them.

For many, this season feels heavier.

They bristle at the expectations to be merry, look perfect, set a photo-worthy table and serve or contribute amazing food. They find expectations to give a perfect gift to everyone on a long list to be stressful — emotionally, financially, and physically. There are often a host of family expectations that weigh people down.

Most of these expectations can be a combination of external and internal.

And then there are all of the “shoulds” in our heads 

Let’s start with the expectation many have that we should feel happy at this time of year. That’s a tall order, even for those who are typically upbeat.

Maybe you feel that you should show up — for everything. Parties of all kinds, school programs, work events, neighborhood gatherings, religious services, family get-togethers, local ceremonies, cookie-swaps and more.

Maybe you feel you should — or must — shower everyone with cards and gifts. And if you think that gift or card should be fancy and expensive, or should be made by hand, that adds handsomely to the pressure.

Perhaps you feel expectations for how you should show up or should perform. This can be because you are a woman, or a minority, or the traditional host, or the person who does not align squarely with the values of others in a family or group, or any number of other reasons.

And then there’s the should of perfection — doing it all and doing it all perfectly. This is an especially heavy burden that many of us carry 365 days a year.

What if it could be different?

If the thought of any, or many of these expectations gives you a sinking feeling, I invite you to think about the power you have to let go of expectations — whether they are expectations you perceive from others, or expectations you have for yourself.

Can you imagine how it would feel to be free of them?

The first step in finding that freedom is to be aware of which expectations weigh you down, and decide that you want to make a change.

When you are clear about both the expectation(s), and have considered the source, try these steps.

1. Ask yourself if you feel deserving of your true desires — the desires that are in opposition to one or more expectations. Can you feel ok about not [fill in a blank from the expectations described above, or something I did not enumerate].

This may be easier for some than others, and I do not suggest it’s as easy as simply saying “yes” if that feels untrue.

If you feel deserving, you are on your way to dropping the pressure of the expectation.

If this idea is a challenge for you, spend some time celebrating all of your special qualities. Ask people who love you what they most admire about you. See if you can feel as deserving of yourself as you’d want someone you love to feel about themselves.

2. When you feel you deserve to do things the way you wish/if you wish, this step may take some courage, but you can state your preferences.

This is your opportunity to gently bow out of attending an event, or choose to get someone a small thoughtful gift rather than break the bank, or choose not to care if your table looks “perfect” — or like someone else’s idea of “perfect.”

Start with something small to test this out, and continue to let go of expectations one by one.

3. After each effort, be sure to celebrate yourself.

Savor the space, the ease, the pleasure you get to experience.

Then focus on gratitude — for yourself, and the gift you gave yourself by letting go of an expectation you are free of.

Sending you much love for this holiday season.

Sure you feed your body. How about your soul?

Here is a pair of questions you may not have been asked before — and maybe never asked yourself:

“How do you feed your soul?” and, “Do you feed your soul?”

While I do not recall having explicitly asked myself these questions, I had an experience this past weekend that fed my soul in such a deep way that these questions showed up. I am moved to bring them to your attention.

What our bodies and hearts need

If you have been reading my Big Ideas for some time, you know I believe that living in high gear, rushing and pushing and striving, robs us of the overall wellbeing we need and deserve.

We can create space in our lives to support our bodies. We can get ample rest, make time to eat healthy food, and devote time to build strength and flexibility for physical ease.

We can honor and nurture important relationships.

And we can create space to pause, reflect, and listen to our hearts.

This last practice (which can be cultivated in a range of ways) enables us to create with intention rather than being in perpetual motion without clarity — and can save us from reacting on the fly as we rush off to attend to the next thing on a jam-packed calendar.

We can lay a foundation for living a good life by bringing all of this awareness to the front of our minds and adjusting our ways of living. For many accomplished women, it takes time and support to test and integrate these practices. (It certainly did for me.)

And, alongside the attention and commitment we can each make to bring new ways of being into our daily lives, there is a deeper level of wellbeing and expansion that’s available for us to explore.

Take a moment to consider your spirit

Whether you prefer thinking about it as your soul, or your spirit, or the deepest longings in your heart, I invite you to bring a bit of curiosity and exploration to what you desire at that level.

In the midst of a busy life, it is easy to miss those messages, or push them off to the side.

Some of us look for those messages and simply cannot find them.

Some are afraid to even look, or do not know where or how to start.

Maybe you are keenly aware of your deep desires. For many of us, stillness and patience (and often help) are needed to make those discoveries.

It is then that we can consider how to honor our deep desires.

Our souls crave nourishment

Over the years, I have seen many ways that women have lost a connection to the deep desires of their souls.

Some have set aside the joy of playing an instrument, or spending time in nature, or working with their hands, or another soul-rewarding practice — often for many years.

Some have let a meaningful part of themselves sit fallow as they pursued a career and nurtured a family.

Some, like me, lacked the belief that it was possible — not to mention feeling I could be “good enough,” — to create. (In my case it was as an artist.) We never dared to even try.

When things like this happen our souls, our spirits, our hearts are robbed of life-enhancing nourishment.

Yet it’s possible return to what we have set aside, or embark on new adventures. We can seek satisfaction as we enter and explore new terrain.

I am living proof that amazing things are possible when you allow yourself to follow the small whisper, or the shout, that you tune into.

My experience may inspire you

I took my first painting class in 2015. Yes, even with a BFA I had never painted. I had stuck to design-related classes, never daring to even enter a painting studio.

And despite my long-standing fear, and feeling that it might be a disaster to try, I knew a part of me yearned to have the experience of painting. I finally decided I would take a painting class and see what happens.

And thus an incredible journey began. It has been one of the most rewarding adventures in my life.

(You can see my paintings here.)

And recently, something new showed up for me.

A marvelous new client in my coaching program teaches writing. And she invited me to participate in a retreat she leads. This new possibility intrigued me, even as it scared me.

I love writing my weekly articles, and I loved writing my book. But this teacher focuses on “writing from the deep voice.” This is creative writing, and the idea of attending her weekend retreat with women who have been honing their crafts with her for some time, made me question if I could possibly do that.

I thought it was likely that, as a rank beginner, I’d not only embarrass myself, I might be mortified.

And yet, I said, “Yes.”

I chose to let myself be a beginner, to be taught and led and inspired. I realized that I’d only know how it would feel or what would happen if I gave it a try. Maybe it would be terrible, or uninteresting, or not a fit for me, and any of that would be fine.

This is what happened.

By saying, “Yes,” I gave a gift to my soul. My soul, that goes to deep places when I paint, loved this new experience.

I let go of self-judgement or caring what anyone else thought of my work and was fully absorbed in the process, step by step by step. One piece of writing after another, reading what I wrote and hearing others read their creations, I was palpably moved and inspired.

I discovered that there is a vast new, satisfying, exciting way to nourish my soul! I am filled with gratitude and joy.

Your soul has yearnings, too

We all have layers of desire waiting to be discovered in deep places.

With guidance and patience and practice, you can access your inner voice with more ease. And you can explore new avenues of expressing it with greater ease, too — whether or not you ever pick up a paintbrush or try your hand at creative writing.

The pace will be different for each of us. The rewards — that I have experienced, and that I been honored to usher in and witness for my clients — are always remarkable.

I invite you to take a new step towards creating a truly rewarding future today.

And I’d be delighted to hear about the deep yearnings in your soul. If you’d like to share them simply email me. (And if the writing experience sounds intriguing, I’ll be happy to introduce you to my writing teacher.)