A Mother’s Day reflection

On the morning of Mother’s Day, I sat at my dining room table with piles of family photos around me. I have been tasked with sorting through mountains of images that were shipped to me from from my mother and father’s house. They are both gone now, and their house was recently sold.

I have been devoting a day here and there to this monumental task for many weeks, and there are still two unopened cartons waiting to be explored.

On Sunday I found treasures that touched me deeply.

Connecting to people we love

How perfect it was to see my mother at age 20, and her mother, their smiles shining in a family scene from a time before she was married. It was a wonderful start to Mother’s Day.

A photo of my mother and father beaming on their honeymoon was a sweet sight.

As I went through the envelopes, I saw my parents and grandparents at many ages and in many settings. I saw my great-grandmother, who I remember meeting as a little girl. I saw my dear mother-in-law and father-in-law, often at holiday tables where both sets of my grandparents were part of the scene.

There were photos of me at many ages — taken as a girl on the beach, as a gawky teenager, with my new husband and all through the years. I gazed at photos with aunts and uncles, my children, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews, family friends.

I smiled wistfully at memories of those who are gone, and marveled at the changes in all of us over time. (Oh, the hairstyles and clothing choices!)

What struck me deeply is the link I have to so many people who came before me and after I arrived.

I marveled at the links to a past that goes back beyond imagination, and that extends into the future as well.

The power of deep connection

What shined though vividly as I looked at all of the photos is the love that has connected all of us, and continues to connect us.

Not that every family relationship has always been harmonious. As in most families, we experienced strains of varying intensity.

Yet the bonds are significant.

And the message that resonates clearly for me is that we are all linked by love.

I also believe that deep love creates light.

My parents and their parents — and the generations before them — all lit the way for the ones who came next, as we light the way to the future.

We can light the world

I believe that when we come together, in our families and our connections to others, those connections have energy.

And that energy emits light — a light that can be sensed, if not seen, by those around us.

Further, I believe that clear light can guide us to a future of love. Of connection. Of peace.

I am inspired to be a catalyst for connections that build love, and, in turn, light.

I believe we can do this in our families, in close relationships, and in professional relationships.

We can be the light together.

Together we can bring more love into a world that needs it.

I hope you will join me.

How to connect to the truth in your heart

Part of the reason so many accomplished women second-guess themselves (the topic I wrote about last week), and struggle when it comes to confidently speaking their truth, is that they are disconnected from their truth — their deep desires and beliefs.

Many have walled off their hearts.

Sometimes it’s out of fear. Sometimes it has not occurred to them to explore their deep desires, and a block has developed around their hearts. And sometimes they are living life at such a frantic pace that they have not made time for thoughtful reflection.

In any of these scenarios, the wall progressively gets taller and harder to penetrate.

Whether you relate to being disconnected from what you really want, or you lack true clarity about your beliefs, or (like so many great women) you know there is more in your heart to bring into the light, I invite you to take some action and see what happens.

How to start? Get curious!

Curiosity is powerful. When you embrace this mindset your heart will open up more easily and you will feel free to explore there.

Devoting just a few minutes a day for a week or two will reveal a lot.

As you pursue the exploration, you will make meaningful discoveries that will, in turn, make it easier to start speaking your truth.

Why not begin today? 

Grab a journal and do some probing

Pick from the prompts on this list, or dive into each of them.

• Explore your biggest dream. You know, the one that has been whispering (or maybe shouting?) to be heard.

• Consider what your heart yearns to tell you. You may need to sit with this one a bit and simply ask your heart, “What do you want me to know?" followed by, “What else?” How deeply can you probe?

• Ask yourself, if you were not afraid, what message would you find in the deep recesses of your heart. Also ask, if you were not afraid, what would you love to try or love to do?

• Ask yourself what you truly want — in this moment (it could be a hot cup of cocoa, or taking a walk in the woods) and honor it. Even if it is something you cannot do right away, put a date on your calendar and do it.

• Then, ask the bigger question about what you want: What do you want in your life? You might say more love, or a new job, or to travel, or peace of mind. Whatever shows up is great. Write all of it down.

• Also ask yourself what you want to say. It may be something that you have held back on. It may be something you have not dared to say — ever, or to someone in particular.

Reflect on what emerges

You may be surprised at what shows up for you. If so, sit with the insights and see how they settle in your mind.

If truths about which you had awareness have been confirmed in your exploration, you will likely feel more sure and clear.

With the insights and clarity that come to light, it is also likely that you will feel more positively about (and maybe even eager about) speaking your truth in a bigger way, and with more confidence.

And if you still feel tentative about giving voice to or acting on those insights, that’s fine. This is a process that unfolds at different paces and in different ways for everyone. 

Acknowledge yourself for taking action

Every step you take to gain clarity and perspective is significant. Give yourself a smile in the mirror and a “Yay me!” each time you carve out time to probe your heart and reflect on what shows up.

Next week, I will share ways to practice speaking your truth — or speaking more of your truth — with more confidence and ease.

Until then, why not envision yourself experiencing more satisfaction and comfort doing that? (There is more power in visualizing the outcomes you want than you may know!)

I am always happy to hear about your explorations and your aha’s, as well as your questions. 

And if you want to consider having support so you can step into living the truly fulfilling future you yearn for, let's talk soon. I have a several program options that may be a fit for you, and one of them kicks of in a few weeks. Email me and we’ll make a date.

How to connect to your magic and light up your life

Something interesting happens when I mention the title of my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life in a conversation with someone I have just met.

More often than not, people look me in the eye and say, “Oh, I'm not creative.”

I am on a mission to dispel that common belief.

I want to help people understand, and experience, that they are filled with creativity. I also want them to know how powerful their creativity is.

We all came into the world filled with creativity

Yes, creativity is in all of us. It’s a kind of magic we all possess.

When we are small, and given some crayons and paper, we do not fret at a blank page. We do not worry about what to draw. We pick up a color that appeals to us and start making marks.

When I observe my 3-year-old granddaughter as she draws, and ask what she’s drawing, she tells me incredible stories about the scenes (that look to me like excited scribbles).

Whether she is serious and focused, or laughing, she is fully engaged in expressing herself. And it is clear that she loves it.

When we, as adults, tap that creative energy — or expand and accelerate it, for those who do feel creative — we give ourselves a huge gift. We connect to the magic inside.

Creating is not just for “special people”

The opportunities to create are vast.

While many feel intimidated because they think they are not “talented”, I’m here to bust that myth. You do not need to be a virtuoso musician, a great actor, a brilliant writer, or a gifted dancer to create!

All forms of self-expression are terrific.

Do you love to putter in a garden or build in a workshop? Do you like to cook or make things with your hands? Are you a visionary thinker, or love embarking on adventures to explore in nature? Do you like to play with paint or clay?

Any and all of these ways of creating are fantastic.

What happens when you create

When you create in any way with a feeling of curiosity and freedom, when you are able to to play and be surprised, you connect to your desire and something incredible happens.

Your spirit opens.

You get out of your head (where most of us spend most of our time) and connect to your heart and your intuition.

And you make discoveries.

The discovery may be about new ways to produce a result that pleases you. Or you may discover that something you thought you’d enjoy was not that great, and move on to new ways to explore.

The most important discovery?

Connecting to new parts of yourself and experiencing more of who you are.

And when that happens, your expanded, lit-up spirit can show up in other parts of your life.

I witness this phenomenon all the time with my clients. They show up differently at work, and great things happen. They navigate relationships with more insight and less reactivity. They look and feel alive in remarkable ways!

I rejoice with them as they open to and share more and more of their greatness.

You can start today

I invite you to do one thing (or one new thing) today to express yourself.

It may be simple and you may do it for a mere few minutes, but choose one thing and go for it.

Maybe you will share it, or you may choose to have a private experience. Maybe it will be exciting, or comfortable, or perhaps it will feel awkward.

In any case, take a moment to think about how it felt to create.

Consider how it felt to experiment with new flavors rather than following a recipe. Or put a small arrangement of objects on a shelf in a pleasing way. Or pull out an instrument you haven’t played in ages, and your response to the sounds you made.

Then commit to creating in some way again tomorrow.

In time, you will not have to plan to create. You will find your creative spirit showing up all over the place!

The more that you create in these ways, the more you will come to understand the power of creativity to support you to show up fully. In time, this expansive magical feeling can be a regular part of your daily experience.

And it is a game-changer to show up fully in the world.

Do it for yourself, and do it for all of us. We need the gifts, the fully expressed genius, that only you can contribute.

Imagine the impact we will have when we all live big.

(I would be delighted for you to share the ways you love to create, and new ways you bring creativity into your life. And please share the impact it has for you. Leave a comment or email me.)

Love doesn’t have to be complicated

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Maybe you (like me) are feeling tired of the way the focus on love feels commercialized, manipulative and superficial in our culture.

Perhaps you are cynical about love, or feel it is missing or lacking in your life, or you doubt its importance.

Perhaps you crave more love, in any of the ways it can touch your heart.

What if you simply let yourself feel love?

We spend so much time living in our heads.

It’s when we choose not to think so much and drop into our hearts and our bodies, that we have the opportunity to get to the pure essence of love, and experience it in ways that fill us with delight.

Try this simple practice and see what happens:

Spend 3 minutes of quiet and connect to your heart.

You might set a timer, or just choose to sit in stillness for a little while.

Cross your hands over your heart. As you breathe, feel into the energy of your heart.

Pay attention to the sensations you feel.

Ask what your heart desires.

Listen closely.

Even if you hear only whispers, the information and insights are important to honor. And if you feel an absence of insight, try sitting a bit longer. Or try again later or tomorrow.

Next — no matter what you found — actively appreciate yourself. Send love to you, for being with yourself this way, and for being the amazing person you are.

Savor the sweetness of this experience.

This process is a way you can experience and cultivate self-love. Even if it feels subtle, it can be more powerful than you may imagine.

And the more you make this practice a part of your life, the bigger the benefits will be.

Consider expanding your self-love practice.

Gaze at yourself in the mirror each morning and smile warmly at you!

Focus on treating yourself to experiences that delight you. You deserve them.

Maybe a brisk walk each morning makes you feel alive and excited for your day. Make that a priority!

Maybe preparing clean healthy foods makes you feel great. Plan your day so there is ample time for that preparation, as well as savoring the food you cook.

Maybe adding a new color to your environment will lift your spirits each day. How can you bring in a splash of that color, perhaps with a throw pillow, or by painting an accent wall in a space you use a lot? Maybe you will choose to wear that color more.

Maybe visiting galleries or museums lights you up, or music stirs your heart. Make inspiration dates to bring joy like that into your life.

You will effortlessly begin to spread more love.

When we are filled with love for ourselves we can spread love to others with ease and joy. We naturally feel more affection and connection to everyone around us.

The expression of this loving energy can show up as smiling more at people (even strangers), expressing appreciation, and engaging in small acts of kindness.

And, at times when you might have typically felt annoyed or frustrated or angry with someone (friends or strangers), you may instead find yourself able to send them loving thoughts, or wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt.

When you spread loving energy — even wordlessly — you support your own wellbeing, and often shift the energy in the person or people around you in ways you cannot perceive.

The power of love can change your life.

Last week I was honored to lead a remarkable group of women for three days of deep work, infused by love, at my winter Live Big Live! retreat.

We began the journey 45 days before the retreat. We came together and dove deep into shaping visions for the future that were rooted in knowing that comes from a deep connection to the heart.

Love was the foundation for everything we did. Love infused each experience included in the program, that culminated in so many big outcomes.

Each woman connected to ways to cultivate self-love that had deep meaning for her. They each unabashedly honored themselves and their gifts, and claimed the desires in their hearts. They were able to step into honoring those desires, and begin to take concrete steps to make them their reality.

Shifts like this cannot happen in an instant. Practice is needed, and over the weeks and at the retreat, we practiced together.

With a foundation of self-love, each of the women naturally supported the others with tremendous love. The energetic connections were palpable and powerful.

Even without deep immersion and guidance, you can bring the power of love into your life in bigger ways than ever.

I invite you to start with the practice described above, and expand it as you feel inspired.

You will reap beautiful rewards.

If you wish to share your experience, or have questions, I would be happy to hear from you.

Email me to let me know how this resonates for you.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.