Are you ready to stop second-guessing yourself?

Maybe as you grew up, you were not encouraged to share your opinions and ideas. That was my experience.

And maybe it took you time to find the courage to speak up without frequently second-guessing yourself. (That was my experience as well.)

Whatever the root, many accomplished women have shared with me that it can be hard for them to speak up with ease.

Sadly, many brilliant women find themselves holding back or feeling doubtful about speaking what they know is true and important.

Why we second-guess ourselves

Some women have had a hit to their confidence — confidence that used to be solid. Often a toxic work environment has left this mark, but personal challenges can also be the cause.

Some women — maybe those you’d least expect — have struggled with speaking their truth over many years.

Whether it is in a meeting, in an important conversation, or another setting, some women compare themselves to others and feel they do not measure up.

Some feel like an imposter, and are fearful they will be “found out” as a fraud.

Some have a story lodged in their brain (often having been planted by a family member, a teacher, or a sports coach) that they were not good at something specific, or were generally “not good enough.” Those stories feel real, even when there is evidence that they are false.

While it can take some time, these are all limitations we can learn to overcome when we have support and good tools.

Self-awareness provides insight

In my next Big Ideas email we’ll dive into gentle, revelatory ways to connect to your truth and your deep desires — even in the midst of a busy life.

Until then, I invite you to think about reasons that contribute to your moments of self-doubt.

If you feel less confident than in the past, are you clear about the reason?

Can you take an objective look back? Can you try and reframe your perspective when you find your confidence MIA?

If you recall being told something that lodged a limiting belief in your mind, can you look at it through a different lens now? 

Whether a hurtful message was imparted when you were small, when you were starting your professional career, or was experienced recently, it is helpful to notice when it shows up, pause to reconsider it, and reflect on it clearly through your eyes today. 

Can you think of times that disprove the limiting belief or lack of confidence?

Each time I have asked a client, she can think of multiple times in the past when she was able to do a thing she doubted in the moment. 

You, too, can think about times in your past when you were able do something you currently doubt. When you take note of that evidence, you can bring new energy to what is in front of you!

Can you feel a difference now?

Every time you tune in, get clear, and are able to take a small new step to show up in a bigger way, you grow. And over time, with ongoing focus and commitment, your growth accelerates.

Give yourself a “Yay me!” each time you gain new awareness, and each time you are able to show up in a bigger way (even it you start with small changes).

If you want support to get to the root of your doubt and turn it around, email me and let’s talk. I have a several program options to support you.

What decisions are you making now?

When late last year, on a whim, my husband and I planned a month-long winter stay in Paris, I expected to return home, rest up to adjust to the jet lag for a week, and then head out again for another trip (this time to Arizona), that had been booked nearly two years ago.  

And then the universe offered me another opportunity.

It turns out that my coach settled on dates for a winter retreat for the mastermind program I am in, that I’d thought I would have to miss this year. The dates she picked had the retreat starting 4 days after my return from Europe.

My first thought was to skip the retreat.

I figured all the travel (2000 miles west of home this time) would be too much — too much time on planes, too much time away from my home, too much time away from work (this retreat means being off the grid!), after having had too little time to fully catch my breath.

And then I thought some more.

Some things are worth reconsidering

I thought about why I had committed to being in the program, and I thought about all that it does to support me to stretch, to grow, to learn and expand.

I focused on how it supports me to let go of more and more limiting beliefs and to bring deeper levels of insight and awareness to my life. The weekly meetings I attend are great, but the retreat is an especially powerful part of the program.

Doing this work allows me to become more of the woman I know I can and want to be. And in turn, I am able to better lead my clients to become the biggest, best versions of themselves, and create the lives they truly desire.

I was clear: To reap all of those outcomes, I knew I needed to be at the retreat.

And so, rather than focusing on the fatigue and time away, I decided to focus on the gifts of attending the retreat.

The outcomes can amaze you

The gifts of being at the retreat were tremendous!

I shared the experience with the fabulous crew in our program, all wonderful people doing superb work in the world. Led through a carefully designed sequence of exploration that ranged from deeply emotional to expressively fun, we all inspired one another to face the shadows, dive deep, claim our unique gifts, and rise high. 

I have just left the retreat as I am writing this.

I have much to savor and reflect on, and I am filled with exciting new insights and ideas to bring to my clients.

Rather than feeling fatigue, I am fueled!

What lens are you looking through now?

When you consider the life you are living now, what do you see?

Maybe you have suffered a setback. Or you may be figuring out what’s next that will light you up every day. Perhaps you are at a crossroads, or there is a big dream you have tucked away in your heart. Maybe you are stressed and burnt out. Maybe you feel you are meant to do something bigger.

Whatever it is, do you see opportunity or challenge?

I invite you to consider your perspectives, as well as the ways you invest in yourself and the future you desire.

Something bigger is possible

I know it’s easy to settle. It’s easy to drift through life, and let life happen. And that is fine — if it feels satisfying.

I lived that way for a long time, until I discovered there was an opportunity to wake up in my life, and I learned to create what my heart really desired.

I learned about the tremendous power we all have to leverage our innate creativity, to bring more of our greatness into the world and live our biggest, best lives.

I am honored to support to great women who are clear that something better awaits them. I love bringing these accomplished women together and guiding them to experience live-changing expansion.

One client recently marveled that when she thinks back to herself a year ago, she would never have believed the woman she has become. She left a toxic job and is launching a big new venture with confidence and excitement. And what she loves the most is the joy and satisfaction she enjoys in her daily life, that had felt out of reach for years.

You can have support, too. You can be surrounded by people who inspire you and lift you up. You can honor yourself and devote time for your well-being and your growth.

If you feel the call to explore what it can look like for you to embark on a journey of meaningful self-discovery and growth — or if you know you are ready to dive in — let’s connect.

I always welcome a conversation. I invite you to email me, or book a call with me here.

Every change offers an opportunity

I have just returned from my Paris adventure, including an exciting excursion to Amsterdam just last weekend, and am savoring countless special memories.

Living in another country meant making many adjustments over the weeks. (I wrote about adjustments, with tips for making easier ones, a few weeks ago.)

Now, being back home means adjusting to the new time zone, adjusting to a new rhythm of day-to-day life, and adjusting some perspectives, too.

Life is rarely static

My recent travel experiences, and the adjustments I made and am making now, are far from typical or routine.

Yet even without shifting locales, life calls on us to be flexible and make adjustments of all kinds.

I see it with my clients all the time.

Can you relate to this story?

In a coaching conversation yesterday, something came up with a client that was revealing on several levels.

An executive at a large institution, she has had to devote a tremendous amount of time and focus to a complex family matter for the last few months. The transaction is now complete, and she finds herself adjusting to the new “space” that has opened up in her life, now that calls, trips, decisions, and paperwork are no longer demanding her attention.

As we explored her reflection on having navigated all that transpired, and talked about the unsettled feelings she is having as she readjusts, a number of interesting insights showed up.

She was able to identify patterns of thinking, as well as perceptions she has of herself and others, that put a spotlight on changes she now realizes are possible for her.

By taking a close look at ways she tends to make decisions, ways she resists asking for help, situations when she perceives things as stressful that could be seen differently, and ways she tends to show up in a quieter way than she longs to, it was clear that the period of adjustment she is entering offers her opportunities to bring awareness and change into her life and work.

We all have the opportunity to learn and grow

I love working with women who want to take a close look at how they are operating in their lives, and take action to bring positive change and show up fully in their lives. Because life offers us all the opportunity to adjust in meaningful ways all the time.

Rather than drifting, the women I coach become creators of a life that allows them, step after deliberate step, to feel more fully alive.

They become more visible and comfortable to show up authentically. They shed old beliefs that have limited them. They find balance in an always-evolving life, where they take on challenges and leverage opportunities.

They shine — and as they do they feel joy.

Stepping into living big in these ways is something that takes time, and can sometimes be challenging. It’s being in the process and having tools and support, that makes the effort easier and the pace faster.

Is your bigger life calling you?

When you are ready to bring change into your life, to show up fully and with less struggle, so that you can make the next part of your life truly fulfilling, here’s how I can help:

Explore Live Big Live!
This is my signature program, that most women choose. Live Big Live! includes private sessions with me, group support with a small cohort of amazing women, and a 3-day retreat experience that ushers in powerful breakthroughs.

Explore private coaching
A number of private coaching options are offered, and custom options can be designed, too. 

Explore Live Big for Life
Live Big for Life is a longer-term program that women often choose after their Live Big Live! experience. (Scroll down the web page to read the description.)

And, some women step directly into the powerful Live Big for Life program, to have a year (and more) of coaching support that is life-changing.

Inside of Live Big for Life, you attend all three Live Big Live! retreats each year, have ongoing private coaching support, and benefit from group coaching in a mastermind. The outcomes of this program have been truly remarkable

Your biggest life can start with a conversation.

This is your opportunity to share your big desires, as well as what is in your way now. I promise to provide fresh insights and perspectives. And, if we both think the fit is good, we can talk about a way for you to get support to live your biggest life. (No pressure ever!)

There's no cost for us to talk, but I only offer two calls a week. If you want to grab one of those spots, use this link to my calendar: LiveBigCall.com.

PS  As I make my adjustments to returning from Europe, I am continuing to share photos I took while I was away.  If you missed seeing photos I took on my adventures in Paris and Amsterdam, and want to see some new ones too, check out my instagram feed. 

We are always making adjustments. Yours can be easier.

My decision to live in to Paris for a month was a big one, and I am happy to say that my adventure is off to a great start!

And, deciding to undertake something complex and new like this was not so easy. After the idea was sprung, I had to prepare for myriad details. And now that I am here, I’m adjusting to new routines, resources and patterns. 

What do you find yourself adjusting to now?

One of my clients just started a new job. It’s with a company she has done work with for a while, but now she’s there full time. She is adjusting to new demands on her time and attention, new deadlines, new dynamics with the team and new challenges.

Another client has recently been showing up in a bigger way in her role as a senior leader. She finds herself adjusting to this new way of being, as well as to the feedback she is getting — all of which is positive.

Because, even when things go well we are called on to adjust to changes.

And when you grow and expand, the first adjustment is to the new version of you!

How to make easier adjustments

Whether you are adjusting to small changes to your routine or bigger changes — that feel exciting or feel challenging — these 5 steps may help you move forward with ease.

1. Build awareness

Pay attention to the change that’s underway. Sometimes this will be obvious (like my temporary move to Paris and the client who started a new job). Sometimes the change will be more subtle.

My client who started to present her ideas in new ways, and also set better boundaries, did not immediately realize that she needed to fucus on how these changes called on her to make new adjustments.

And, sometimes we are in denial about matters that are imposing change or require adjustments.

It is helpful to do some daily check-ins with yourself to identify issues and gain perspective. 

You may want to briefly journal at the end of the day and take note of things that came up in your thoughts during the day, or things you can better observe when you reflect back over the way your day unfolded.

2. Focus on the positive

Whether you choose to write in a journal or not, be sure to note positive things that relate to matters that call for adjustment.

It’s second nature for many of us to focus on challenges more than opportunities, and we certainly do need to be aware of challenges and plan for overcoming them.

And, we benefit when we look for the opportunities we have in nearly every situation. Be sure to think about the upside and opportunities that are available when adjusting to any change.

3. Stay clear and calm

What practices support you to think clearly?

You may like to meditate, walk in nature, do yoga, or spend quiet time listening to inspiring music. You may turn to a trusted friend to be a sounding board, or have another way you like to quiet your mind and reduce tension.

Whether you create a daily practice to stay clear and centered, or have a go-to way of getting focused when troubling thoughts start to highjack you, it’s important to know your best ways to get back to clear thinking and feeling calm.

4. Be kind to yourself

Some adjustments tend to spawn self-doubt. It’s easy to slip into feeling concerned about your ability to navigate a matter.

This is a time to practice self-love, and to be compassionate and patient with yourself. Check out this post to learn more about the power of self-love.

And while fear is something that is likely to show up when you are making adjustments, you can learn to turn that limiting emotion around.

Check out this article I wrote on LinkedIn about ditching fear. This blog post on how to think positively may help you, too.

5. Get support

Everyone needs help now and then. Whether you choose to get help to figure out a fulfilling path forward in your life, or you want help to make it easier and faster to make an adjustment you are working through, its great to have support.

After decades of resisting help, I have experienced that seeking out and having support has been life-changing.

The support of great coaches and mentors has been key to me moving through many challenges more easily and quickly than back in the days when I was sure I could do just fine on my own.

And, I might never have made the bolder, truly significant moves in my life that my coaches and mentors helped me see as possible, and helped me to make my reality.

I am here if you want to talk

Whether you want to share an adjustment you are facing now or the future you yearn to create, I invite you to reach out and connect. Or, you can schedule a call with me directly if you wish. I have opened 3 new appointments for these calls.

Our half-hour call (with no cost or obligation) can help you make an adjustment now, and see what is possible in your life in ways you may never have considered.

I look forward to speaking with you soon.