What if you took a closer look at your life now?

I realize, after nearly two weeks, that I have new awareness as I am living in Paris. Some of what I am observing today are small and subtle things I did not consider much before I embarked on this trip.

Among the things I am reflecting on now, are:

The joy of curiosity

I am appreciating curiosity more deeply than ever. Living in a new place there are things all around that are not usual for me, and they invite inquiry. I want to bring this keen curiosity home with me, as it opens insights and thinking and spawns ideas in wonderful ways.

The joy of exploring

There is daily delight as I head to new places and follow my nose, research origins and stories, and make small discoveries along the way. Opportunities abound, and I realize that I don't need to be in a new city to infuse my life with this joy.

Looking at the world through fresh eyes

Seeing this way has awakened my heart and provided new perspectives. Being in a new city makes it particularly easy and pleasant to observe the world through a new lens, and I realize its possible to see this way anywhere, any time.

Sometimes you need to get past the annoying parts

Alongside the pleasures I mentioned, some daily tasks are less than fun. There are things you need to fix or figure out. There are conundrums to sort through and deadlines to meet, when you’d rather be out and about. And there are challenges communicating across six or more time zones.

Things like these are always in the mix. The key is to deal with them and move on, without letting them sour your day or dampen your experience.

We can build daily awareness

As you read what I shared, did you pause and think about ways that you bring curiosity into your life, or find joy exploring new places, or reflect on how you look at the world?

How about your reaction to thinking about what you do when annoying things show up in your day?

Perhaps you feel inspired to think about changes you might aim to make in your life now.

Awareness can inspire a desire for change

Some changes you decide to undertake may be small and subtle, and some may be more significant.

It is always possible to change — even to make changes that seem challenging.

When you realize that you have agency in your life — that you have control over your actions, and their consequences — you can do more than you may even think is possible right now.

You can choose to do things new ways, to see with new perspectives, to respond differently than in the past.

It begins with awareness, thought, and the decision to make a change.

Then you can take small, deliberate action.

Notice that I said small.

Its the small consistent steps that really count. Rather than aiming to make sweeping changes fast (which typically leads to frustration and even abandoning your efforts), choose to take small steps and stick with them. You will be amazed at how they add up, and become your new way of being more easily over time.

The changes you make matter

When you live with awareness and make change, you reap many benefits. And you can can expand your efforts over time, building new change on the foundation of previous change.

And, you model the changes you make for everyone around you.

If, for instance, you bring more curiosity to what you do each day, or you move through annoyances with more ease and grace, your energy, and the outcomes of your actions will be noticed. 

The people around you are sure to be inspired by what they see and feel. And some may choose to  take action in the same directions, or the directions that are right for them

Before long, all of these changes ripple out, likely far beyond what you can even imagine today.

You can start now

I invite you to choose one small way you want to bring a change into your life.

Next, think of one really small way to introduce that change into your day. (For instance, if you choose to see the world through fresh eyes, consider something on your schedule for the day, and set the intention to consider it with a fresh perspective before moving forward.)

After taking the action, or later in your day, pause to reflect on what you tried and how it went. Then choose a small way to practice the change again the next day, and repeat the process.

After a week, you will have some good observations. You can think about how to expand on the kind of actions and situations that will support you to making the change you seek a natural, ongoing way of being.

If you are looking for ideas for change that will light up your life, and actions and practices to help you make those changes, check out my book. 

And if you want to consider having a guide to support you, reach out and we can make a date to talk about the changes you want to bring into your life, and how you can create the truly fulfilling life you dream of.

Email me, or find a date on my calendar.

How to harness your power now

Today I am thinking about power, and about feeling powerless.

We have enormous personal power — even if it is not unlimited.

I strive to connect to my personal power each day, and I support my clients to embrace and step into their power.

That may be the the most fundamental way we live big.

What does personal power look like?

We claim our power when we show up fully and authentically. We are able to be vulnerable. We show the world who we are, without fear of judgment.

We claim our power when we identify, and then commit to living our values.

We connect to our truth by slowing down and going deep into our hearts. We then speak our truth without second-guessing ourselves.

We live with love as the driver, letting love inform all of our decisions, actions, and interactions.

We take bold action — even when we do so quietly.

We create the best next step to take all day, every day — even when our options are limited or look bleak.

In all of these ways, we exercise personal power.

Our personal power can be put to the test

The Supreme Court decision last week has taken away the right to abortion for millions of people in our country. We knew it was coming. And yet when the news of the ruling arrived, and as we have started to closely look at the way it was written, many of us feel shock and fear.

This is unjust, and contrary to the way the majority of Americans feel about this crucial right.

Add to that the prospect of losing other rights that we have had for years and decades, stripping us of liberty and choice. This compounds the emotions of anger, dread, fear and powerlessness that many of us are processing.

We are being robbed of personal power to make life-changing decisions about our bodies and our futures.

Many are struggling to know what to do.

What can we do when we feel powerless?

Start with creating a foundation that will support you.

1. Feel the emotions

Strong emotions can feel frightening. Whether the fear or anger are so intense you are concerned they may explode, or you are inclined to push the emotions away because they are so big, I invite you to sit with what you feel. Do some writing. Walk out tension in nature. Draw the feelings you feel, or dance the emotions out to music that will move them through you.

Some way of “exercising” your emotions will help you to make your best decisions about what to do next.

2. Speak with like-minded people

This is not the time to isolate yourself. When you engage with others new ideas and possibilities come more quickly. As well, the possibilities of positive action are greater when we collaborate with others.

3. Learn all you can

It is important to be fully informed about the impact of the ruling and related issues — the real toll, the real risks, to real lives.

Next, marshal all of the power at your disposal.

Specific ways we can use our power now

If you share my views in this moment, I invite you to consider these ways to use your power now.

• We each have the power to support candidates for office whose values align with your own. That support can include financial donations, phone banks, postcard campaigns, and more.

• We each have the power to identify candidates who stand for the liberties we believe are the right of every citizen.

• We each have the power to help elect such candidates to local, state and national offices.

• In addition to our power to vote, we have the power to help like-minded people everywhere get mobilized to vote, and help to get them to the polls on election days — in our towns, cities and states, and in locations across the country.

• We each have the power to use our voices, in one-on-one conversations, at rallies, and on many platforms where we connect to others. (This inspiring article shows what one artist created to help people do that in great numbers.)

• We each have the power to support organizations that are focused on helping women to safely access abortion care — especially if they must travel to get that care.

We can all take action and create change

Our collective power has proven to be formidable in the past, and can be now.

We must take action on many fronts.

None of us has to do it all, and we certainly are stronger together than when we act alone.

We can prepare ourselves emotionally, commit to playing our part, and find people and organizations with whom to partner. Together our action will lead to solutions.

As we look ahead to the holiday weekend when we will celebrate the birth of our nation and the liberty it promised, we are aware that liberty was not declared for all when the Declaration of Independence was drafted. As a result of dedicated effort, some gaps were filled over time.

A most important liberty has now been taken away, and this decision is cruelly aimed at women.

We are being called to use our power and stand for personal liberty for all.

Let’s stand together.

What I stopped tolerating — that may inspire you.

For years I have struggled to stay organized. Maybe you can relate. I typically have lots of projects underway, and I take lots of notes. The result? A lot of paper — paper that I get too busy to keep organized.

Add to that, I am a visual person, so seeing folders (or piles of papers) for various projects feels comforting to me.

The result? A chaotic desk that leads to stress.

When the stress builds up I bring in help — I work with a great professional organizer. She has helped me enormously over the years. Yet in spite of the updated systems and many great suggestions she has made, I continued to slip back into cycles of desk chaos.

And I continued to tolerate waves of that stress.

But I am no longer willing to do so.

What do we tolerate and why?

Many of us tolerate a lot. We tolerate clutter — both physical clutter and emotional clutter — that can range from mild to intense.

Mild annoyances can look like tolerating someone leaving dirty dishes for others to wash, or occasional rudeness you choose to shrug off. Seriously problematic things might include tolerating unhealthy environments or abusive behavior.

And while my cluttered desk pales in comparison to someone tolerating emotional abuse, it’s interesting to consider why we tolerate whatever it is that causes us stress.

We tolerate things for several reasons.

• We are not clear about our standards, or the standards of the group we are part of.

• We want to avoid awkward or difficult conversations.

• We want to be comfortable more than we are willing to make a change.

• We do not feel strong enough to stand up for ourselves.

• We feel hopeless or afraid.

• We do not feel deserving.

Each of these could be fully covered in a separate article, and each can entail a lot of personal exploration. (For today, we’ll focus on one illustration that can apply to a range of issues.)

Some challenges on this list may be easier for some people to overcome than others, and some take time and support to address.

It may be helpful to pinpoint what is in the way for you, for a given matter (or matters) that you are tolerating.

Until we decide we will not tolerate it, nothing changes

No matter the issue, and no matter the reason, change will only happen when we decide we are ready for things to change. We are ready to take action.

What does it take to make a change?

• Setting new standards.

• Deciding that you are worthy (of respect, of not being taken advantage of by others, of an environment that supports your wellbeing — to name but a few).

• Being willing to take a stand for what matters to you and courageously making changes.

In the case of my messy desk, being willing to make a change had been my problem. For a very long time it was more “comfortable” to continue tolerating clutter and stress.

When I set a new standard for myself, decided I deserved to feel happier and less stressed, and was willing to do what I needed to do to improve the situation, things did change.

When we are unwilling to tolerate something we find solutions

If you want to start addressing something relatively small, consider the case of my disorganized desk.

After getting help to deal with everything that was stacked on my desk — creating new folders, updating my filing approach and filling a recycle bin with papers I did not even need — I had a “clean start.”

I took the plunge and invested in an electronic tablet on which to take all of my notes by hand. I set up a system of folders on the tablet that is clear and easy for me to use. Right from the start I hardly wrote on paper at all. And for the last two weeks my desk has remained clear!

After the first week I realized that another layer of process was needed: to extract action-items, and suggested resources to follow-up on, from meeting notes. (There are no longer page flags on paper to signal things for follow-up, which were not very effective anyway.)

I am in the process of refining my new systems now, but I love the changes I am making. And I am asking for help to take the pressure off of feeling like I need to figure it all out, perfectly, myself.

My daily work experience makes me so much happier now, and that translates to getting more done with ease.

What one small thing are you ready to stop tolerating now?

I always recommend that people start by making a small change before tackling big ones.

Is there something that’s come to mind that you want to stop tolerating?

Consider the reason (or reasons) you have continued to tolerate the matter.

Next, look back at the things noted above that will support you to make a change, and consider what steps you can take.

Why not start today — even if that means simply brainstorming options, or deciding who can help you, or reminding yourself that you deserve this and can do it, or researching helpful resources?

Starting is key. Then take another small step.

Once you are in action, you will gain momentum. And when you have decluttered the physical or emotional matter (in a single day or over a longer span of time), you will have done something great for yourself.

The next time you are ready to make a change, you will have a foundation of success to build on. And you will feel able to tackle something bigger, if and when necessary.

I would be happy to hear about the changes you bring into your life when you decide there are things you are no longer willing to tolerate. Leave a comment or email me.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.