Are you ready to stop second-guessing yourself?

Maybe as you grew up, you were not encouraged to share your opinions and ideas. That was my experience.

And maybe it took you time to find the courage to speak up without frequently second-guessing yourself. (That was my experience as well.)

Whatever the root, many accomplished women have shared with me that it can be hard for them to speak up with ease.

Sadly, many brilliant women find themselves holding back or feeling doubtful about speaking what they know is true and important.

Why we second-guess ourselves

Some women have had a hit to their confidence — confidence that used to be solid. Often a toxic work environment has left this mark, but personal challenges can also be the cause.

Some women — maybe those you’d least expect — have struggled with speaking their truth over many years.

Whether it is in a meeting, in an important conversation, or another setting, some women compare themselves to others and feel they do not measure up.

Some feel like an imposter, and are fearful they will be “found out” as a fraud.

Some have a story lodged in their brain (often having been planted by a family member, a teacher, or a sports coach) that they were not good at something specific, or were generally “not good enough.” Those stories feel real, even when there is evidence that they are false.

While it can take some time, these are all limitations we can learn to overcome when we have support and good tools.

Self-awareness provides insight

In my next Big Ideas email we’ll dive into gentle, revelatory ways to connect to your truth and your deep desires — even in the midst of a busy life.

Until then, I invite you to think about reasons that contribute to your moments of self-doubt.

If you feel less confident than in the past, are you clear about the reason?

Can you take an objective look back? Can you try and reframe your perspective when you find your confidence MIA?

If you recall being told something that lodged a limiting belief in your mind, can you look at it through a different lens now? 

Whether a hurtful message was imparted when you were small, when you were starting your professional career, or was experienced recently, it is helpful to notice when it shows up, pause to reconsider it, and reflect on it clearly through your eyes today. 

Can you think of times that disprove the limiting belief or lack of confidence?

Each time I have asked a client, she can think of multiple times in the past when she was able to do a thing she doubted in the moment. 

You, too, can think about times in your past when you were able do something you currently doubt. When you take note of that evidence, you can bring new energy to what is in front of you!

Can you feel a difference now?

Every time you tune in, get clear, and are able to take a small new step to show up in a bigger way, you grow. And over time, with ongoing focus and commitment, your growth accelerates.

Give yourself a “Yay me!” each time you gain new awareness, and each time you are able to show up in a bigger way (even it you start with small changes).

If you want support to get to the root of your doubt and turn it around, email me and let’s talk. I have a several program options to support you.

What if you took a closer look at your life now?

I realize, after nearly two weeks, that I have new awareness as I am living in Paris. Some of what I am observing today are small and subtle things I did not consider much before I embarked on this trip.

Among the things I am reflecting on now, are:

The joy of curiosity

I am appreciating curiosity more deeply than ever. Living in a new place there are things all around that are not usual for me, and they invite inquiry. I want to bring this keen curiosity home with me, as it opens insights and thinking and spawns ideas in wonderful ways.

The joy of exploring

There is daily delight as I head to new places and follow my nose, research origins and stories, and make small discoveries along the way. Opportunities abound, and I realize that I don't need to be in a new city to infuse my life with this joy.

Looking at the world through fresh eyes

Seeing this way has awakened my heart and provided new perspectives. Being in a new city makes it particularly easy and pleasant to observe the world through a new lens, and I realize its possible to see this way anywhere, any time.

Sometimes you need to get past the annoying parts

Alongside the pleasures I mentioned, some daily tasks are less than fun. There are things you need to fix or figure out. There are conundrums to sort through and deadlines to meet, when you’d rather be out and about. And there are challenges communicating across six or more time zones.

Things like these are always in the mix. The key is to deal with them and move on, without letting them sour your day or dampen your experience.

We can build daily awareness

As you read what I shared, did you pause and think about ways that you bring curiosity into your life, or find joy exploring new places, or reflect on how you look at the world?

How about your reaction to thinking about what you do when annoying things show up in your day?

Perhaps you feel inspired to think about changes you might aim to make in your life now.

Awareness can inspire a desire for change

Some changes you decide to undertake may be small and subtle, and some may be more significant.

It is always possible to change — even to make changes that seem challenging.

When you realize that you have agency in your life — that you have control over your actions, and their consequences — you can do more than you may even think is possible right now.

You can choose to do things new ways, to see with new perspectives, to respond differently than in the past.

It begins with awareness, thought, and the decision to make a change.

Then you can take small, deliberate action.

Notice that I said small.

Its the small consistent steps that really count. Rather than aiming to make sweeping changes fast (which typically leads to frustration and even abandoning your efforts), choose to take small steps and stick with them. You will be amazed at how they add up, and become your new way of being more easily over time.

The changes you make matter

When you live with awareness and make change, you reap many benefits. And you can can expand your efforts over time, building new change on the foundation of previous change.

And, you model the changes you make for everyone around you.

If, for instance, you bring more curiosity to what you do each day, or you move through annoyances with more ease and grace, your energy, and the outcomes of your actions will be noticed. 

The people around you are sure to be inspired by what they see and feel. And some may choose to  take action in the same directions, or the directions that are right for them

Before long, all of these changes ripple out, likely far beyond what you can even imagine today.

You can start now

I invite you to choose one small way you want to bring a change into your life.

Next, think of one really small way to introduce that change into your day. (For instance, if you choose to see the world through fresh eyes, consider something on your schedule for the day, and set the intention to consider it with a fresh perspective before moving forward.)

After taking the action, or later in your day, pause to reflect on what you tried and how it went. Then choose a small way to practice the change again the next day, and repeat the process.

After a week, you will have some good observations. You can think about how to expand on the kind of actions and situations that will support you to making the change you seek a natural, ongoing way of being.

If you are looking for ideas for change that will light up your life, and actions and practices to help you make those changes, check out my book. 

And if you want to consider having a guide to support you, reach out and we can make a date to talk about the changes you want to bring into your life, and how you can create the truly fulfilling life you dream of.

Email me, or find a date on my calendar.