It doesn't have to be hard to let go

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Last week I wrote about letting go of physical clutter and emotional clutter. (If you missed it, you can check that out here.)

In addition to letting go of the things that clutter your environment, and the people and situations that drain your energy, I am thinking about the concept of letting go in a bigger, broader way. 

Consider this question:

What are you holding onto in your life and work that it may be time to let go of?

  • Perhaps you are holding onto the way your business is structured, because you have always worked that way, or because that’s the way everyone else does it.

  • Perhaps you are holding on to a seasonal ritual with family or friends because that’s what you always do, or because you think that’s what people expect you to do.

  • Perhaps you live — or work — in a place that does not make you happy anymore (or maybe has never made you happy), because it feels too hard to make a change.

Even if these examples do not resonate specifically for you, sit with the question and see if something comes to mind.

You deserve to be happy!

If you realize you have been holding on to something that is not ideal, your next thought may be, “Sure, but it’s ok.”

Or, you may think something like, “But what can I do about it?” or ”I don’t want to shake things up.”

I believe that life is too precious to compromise on your happiness.

You may not be considering that, by tolerating something that’s not working, or resisting making a change, you pay a price.

The energy you bring to your day-to-day life is dampened, dulled.

You may not even be consciously aware of the ways it adds stress, makes you feel pressured, causes frustration, or simply contributes to subtle discontentment.

Living that way is not fun for you, and it limits everything you do.

If one or more things come to mind, consider the upside of initiating a change.

When you let go, new possibilities show up

When you loosen your grip on maintaining the thing that you have been convinced is the way it has to be, or loosen your grip on the thing you now are aware you’ve been tolerating, things will shift.

Possibilities you may never have considered are likely to feel real.

So, what can it look like to loosen your grip?

1. Get curious!

Ask yourself questions like:

  • Why have I been holding tight to the belief that the way I run my business has to be the same as it has been? What could a different business model look like?

  • What beliefs might I let go of about my role in our annual family gatherings?

  • What would an ideal location be for me to feel happy every day? Do I need to stay in this city?

  • What might working for another company, or taking on a new or bigger role, be like?

  • What am I afraid of? What’s the worst possible outcome of a change? What’s the best possible outcome?

  • What if I doubted myself less and showed up in a bigger way?

2. Consider small steps to take.

Having identified something you want to change, and getting curious to open insights and ideas, it is time to take action.

(By the way, action is a great antidote to fear. The act of starting will build enthusiasm and reduce hesitation and doubt!)

Your initial action might be to talk to people who have done the thing you are considering, and learn from their experience.

You can generate lists of possibilities and see which are the most appealing, so you can begin to test them. 

You can set a vision of that new thing already having happened. Holding that vision will make you feel excited and motivated to take ongoing steps in that direction.

3. Build momentum.

Having put a plan in motion, stay committed to yourself — and keep the curiosity going.

You are likely to adjust your initial ideas and expand or redefine your vision as new possibilities, resources, and supporters show up.

As you pursue the thing your heart asked for, you are sure to show up more fully and bring more boldness into the ways you approach your life.

That’s what living big is all about.

Feel free to let me know about the change you feel called to consider, or one that you are in the midst of now. It’s easy — just email me.

Are you ready to follow a new path?

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Something big is starting soon.

It’s an opportunity for you to take a new step in your life.

Where are you now?

Perhaps you are at a crossroads.

Maybe new opportunities are available to you and you are unsure, or fearful, about how to proceed.

Maybe you know it’s time for a change in your life. Or you may feel stuck.

Maybe you know there's something bigger, something more that you yearn for — something that will make you feel lit up every day.

Maybe you are ready to leave stress behind and live a joyous life, one that sustains you financially and has space for your spirit to soar.

These questions may prompt you to think about your career, personal relationships, the day-to-day quality of your life, long-held dreams, or the next chapter you are ready to move into.

The change you yearn for is attainable!

As I personally experienced, and as I witness with great women like you all the time, there are key moments when we know a change is upon us.

Some of us hear a shout. Many of us hear a quiet whisper. We feel desire stirring, to leave the status quo behind and venture forward in a new way.

And if you are like I was, it may feel daunting to figure it all out. Looking back, I doubt I would have been able to find my new path on my own, much less start living the bigger life I relish now.

Having a guide to support me was crucial.

You, too, can be supported to step into your best life.

Say yes to yourself!

If you know it’s time to get on the path to a truly fulfilling future — getting clear about your vision and knowing how to create that life — you may feel excited to take a big leap. Or, you may want to take it slowly, with a series of small steps.

Both options are available to you. They both work.

The first step is to say “Yes!” to yourself.

The next step can be to explore the Live Big Live! program that has just opened for enrollment.

Click here to book a free call with me to see if the upcoming retreat may be right for you.

Let’s talk soon!

Read what past attendees of Live Big Live! have said — and check out some photos of the retreat experience:

“I said ‘yes’ to myself and I am so glad I did. I loved the experience. After a challenging year, I found self-forgivness. I feel unstuck! I opened my heart and I have hope! And I know I am headed for someplace good. This was a deep and meaningful experience!”

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“This experience has changed me in so many ways! This work opens you up to yourself, to your dreams and your goals, and it gets you there gently, steadily, and with so much love. I truly feel I can achieve what I dream of accomplishing. Rochelle is an incredibly gifted and magnificent coach. I also love being surrounded by such amazing women in this supportive space.”

........

“I was looking for personal development with a goal of improving my business results, and Rochelle turned out to be a wonderful resource to help me accomplish both. From setting a foundation of knowing more and celebrating more about myself through Enneagram studies, to building awareness of how limiting language and thoughts can bleed into our results, Rochelle offers a wide variety of tools that have helped unblock me time after time.

The results (so far!): my short, medium and long term visions are clear and exciting. I find myself taking steps forward daily that I would have avoided or put off in the past, and I am earning more money independently in my business than I ever earned from an employer. Life with Rochelle's guidance is truly a new, more joyful and fruitful way of living for me.”

........ 

“After the process we moved through, about knowing yourself and who you want to be in your life, and what you want to do and have, and watching all that unfold, it has really been spectacular.”

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“This has been a tremendous gift to myself! I definitely recommend this program! You will come together with other women who are committed to the process. You will learn from everyone’s story and everyone’s journey. It’s so much more powerful than doing it alone. And you can go at your own pace. I made it part of my life, in the process before the retreat — and at the retreat. You incorporate it into your daily thinking and it becomes part of the practice of life, something I use every day.”

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“Definitely do it! Open yourself up to the process. Some things will come with ease and others are harder. It's the harder things I suggest you lean into. Things open up, they change! I have new courage, new confidence.”

What would it be like for you to feel freer?

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When July 4 rolls around each year I naturally think of freedom. You probably do, too.

What resonates for me deeply this year is how free I feel. 

Specific questions I am asking myself now are:

  • How free do I feel to show up in the world boldly?

  • How free do I feel to allow myself to play?

  • How free do I feel to start down new paths rather than sticking to the status quo, because that’s what I’m used to.

Whether these questions resonate for you at this moment in your life, or you have others that are particular to you now, I invite you to start exploring.

How free do you feel?

Let’s consider the three questions that keep coming to mind for me. Join me in being curious and see what comes up for you.

1. Do you feel free to boldly show the world who you are — without a mask, without holding back?

I gave a new talk this weekend titled, Embrace Your Bold: How to Amplify Your Voice and Increase Your Impact.

I opened the talk by sharing the impressions I used to have about of what “bold” looked like (such as being loud, and fearlessly doing daring feats). Those concepts of boldness turned me off, and made me doubt how bold I could be.

I also told the audience how I had tried to fake being bold in the past — and how those attempts had always failed. I explained that I have learned that being bold is a deeply personal set of choices, and there are ways to find your own bold, so you naturally and genuinely amplify your voice and increase your impact.

It was a short talk. There is much more I will cover when I expand the talk to a full keynote and deliver it in the fall. For now, I am pondering many ways I want to be bolder in my life, and what hampers me.

I invite you to consider this question, too. It will likely reveal things you have not brought into focus before.

2. Do you feel free to be playful, to lighten up, and let your spirit fly — just for the joy of it?

This question came to mind for me as I spent time with colleagues who were truly playful and joyous when they spoke on the stage before and after my talk.

I yearn to tap and express more of that light, playful energy, and am thinking about how I will begin — today!

3. Do you feel free to explore new options and make changes?

I have been asking myself about changes I want to make for the past few months. I am getting get super-clear, and I have been implementing them, one small step after another.

One decision became clear for me after my wonderful month living in Paris this past winter. I want to adjust the ways I spend my time so that I can paint more and write more. My soul yearns for more space for my own creative expression, and I have started making meaningful adjustments.

What about you?

Might you be stuck in a groove out of habit — about your work, or a relationship? Perhaps you are not honoring a deep desire?

Do you love things as they are, or do you realize you are ready to make a shift?

Are you holding back on making changes because they feel scary?

Feeling free enough to ask and explore the questions is step one!

Try using this special tool!

I created a guide to help you bring full self-expression into your life. It is colorful and fun to use. You will find that the more you are able to be fully self-expressed, the freer you will feel!

Download the guide here (no email needed!), and see what happens for you. 

Let’s all make this a season to activate glorious personal freedom!

My bonus tip to help you live big NOW!

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Last week I shared 5 steps you can take to start making small steady changes that will help you live your biggest, most satisfying life.

If you missed it, or want to review the steps again, you can read it here.

The steps were designed to make it easy to bring a small and meaningful change in your life.

The objective is for you to see notable change quickly, so you can build momentum, and be able to make more positive shifts to the old habits that have been robbing you of time and space for what matters most to you.

Here’s a short recap of the 5 steps:

1. First identify one small shift you want to make.
2. Choose innovative ways to keep yourself focused.
3. Make a plan for the action you will take.
4. Track your progress.
5. Keep going — even if you stall, keep going and then build on your progress!

My mission is to help accomplished women everywhere all live their biggest, best lives!

Is the 5-step process is helping you?

Are you already noticing positive changes?

Whether you have started using the steps, or now want to begin to implement this gentle path to living a bigger, more satisfying life, I am excited to share one more idea today.

It can help you make the progress you desire with even more ease.

Watch your words!

This suggestion is subtle but powerful.

The language you use in your self-talk has a big impact on your thinking, and thus your actions.

I wrote about the power of self-talk to make your life easier in a post last year, that you can check out here. 

And here’s another post about the power of positivity.

To put this big idea to work, take note of times you use encouraging, supportive ways of speaking to yourself, and be aware of times you let criticism or negativity fill your thoughts.

When your language is positive and encouraging, your energy flows in great ways, and the outcomes of your efforts — no matter what you are focused on doing — will be noticeably better.

You always have the opportunity to turn negativity into positive thoughts and energy, and it is easier to do that than most people think.

Two examples of positive language to adopt

1. Eliminate the “shoulds”

Here is a common way that we make things hard for ourselves, that with a little attention, can be shifted to make things significantly easier and more pleasant.

If you find yourself thinking about what you should do, pause and shift to phrasing it as what you want to do, or what you get to do.

Can you see what happens when you swap in a few new words for “should”?

Instead of berating yourself or trying to force yourself to do something, you choose that thing!

When you change the words, your energy will come from a place of desire and/or opportunity. And what happens next will be remarkably better than starting with a should!

2. Add one new word

If you feel your progress is slower than you’d like — in making a small change of habits, or reaching a milestone, or completing a challenging task — instead of beating yourself up you can add the word “yet” to your thought.

For instance, if you are focused on speaking up more boldly, a new statement can look like this: 
“I have not had the courage to bring up that touchy subject with my colleague yet.”

Or, if you are trying to get more rest to feel your best, a new statement can look like this:
“I have not adjusted my bedtime yet, but I will test a new change to my routine tonight.”

Can you feel the energetic boost of simply adding “yet” to those sentences?

Awareness is powerful

When you slow down enough to bring awareness to the language you use in your self-talk, as well as when speaking with others, great things can happen with more ease and speed than you may be able to imagine now.

The more that you bring small, positive changes into your life, the more you will show up in new, big ways. I predict that you will love that expansive bigger version of you!

Email me and let me know how these suggestions work for you. And if you have questions I’ll be happy to hear them and get back to you.

This is your time to live big!

Give yourself the gift of going deep

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Most accomplished women are lucky to carve out bits of time for quiet reflection, much less deep thinking.

Endless to-do lists run their lives. And when time does open up, many don’t think to reflect, or know how to approach quiet inquiry. They usually find themselves returning to being busy, or they get distracted in all sorts of ways that quickly fill time. 

What going deep can look like

I first ventured into deep personal exploration over a decade ago and it changed my life. Working with a coach, I was prompted and guided to explore questions I never had before.

And a notable part of my journey was when I dared to start painting in 2015. It has enabled me to know myself and express myself in truly remarkable ways.

Having just returned from attending a fabulous week at a writing retreat, I am so glad I took a big new step on my path of meaningful expansion.

I was guided to bravely begin writing and to trust myself in a new medium. I was with a small group of inspiring women, also bravely writing stories that were powerful, funny, moving, raw, and provocative. We all explored and made discoveries found in deep places inside of us. 

We each dared to take this time for ourselves, motivated by a desire to grow in new ways as we shaped our ideas, committed them to paper, and received loving feedback from our teacher and each other.

We showed up for ourselves. We connected to parts of ourselves we do not usually approach. We excavated courageously and found gems.

I see great similarities between what happened for me last week and what I witness each time I lead my Live Big Live! program.

I feel a thrill when I see my clients discover exciting and gratifying work — or reignite their passion for what they do each day.

It is wonderful to observe the ways they are now forging, or repairing, or finding relationships from a grounded, clear, centered place.

They are each moving into exciting futures, with space to honor their well-being, with clarity, confidence and joy.

Are you ready to meet yourself in a new way?

The experience of connecting to yourself and igniting a huge spark in your life is possible for you, too.

If you are intrigued by the idea of making time for your own journey to your heart, so that you connect to your deep desires, clarify a vision for your most fulfilling future, and express yourself with joy, the spring Live Big Live! program may be right for you. 

You can be part of an intimate group of wonderful women who are bravely honoring themselves as they embark on rewarding journeys of self-discovery.

If you hear a small voice (or maybe a loud, “Yes!”) saying this is the time to connect to all of who you are, and be guided to living your most fulfilling life (whether you have an image of what that looks like or are trying to figure it out), let’s get on a call.

There are still a few spots available for the upcoming Live Big Live! retreat, but the deadline for enrollment is coming fast.

Let’s connect and see if this is a fit for you.

Schedule a call today

Ready to go on a road trip to clarity?

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My passion is helping accomplished women break through the barriers and challenges that limit them so that they can live their greatness — and truly live big. These accomplished women know there is more greatness in them and want to tap into that power to make important change in their lives, but don’t know how to do that or where to begin.

Seeing that struggle and frustration over and over, I decided to create a roadmap for these women to gain clarity about what’s really important for them, to get laser-focused on the issues, and to start making the big changes they want in their lives.

What many people don’t consider is that you need to start by clarifying what you really want and why it’s really important to you. When you do that, and decide on a few specific realistic changes to start with, you can move on to implementing bigger, important changes in your life. With clarity and structure, making change is absolutely doable — I watch it happen all the time and marvel at the breakthroughs I witness.

I created my 5-day virtual journey to help women first get clear about what they truly want — and what their highest priorities are. Because if you try and change a little here and a little there without focus, you splatter your effort and energy and stay pretty much right where you are. Once this journey guides you to clarity, and to committing to what you want to make your focus, you’ll be guided to generate real action steps and ways to implement them slowly — so you won’t resist the change and so the changes stick. They become a natural part of your life.

When you start making these tangible changes — even small ones that impact your mindset and well-being — you’ll be propelled forward in big ways.

The Roadmap to Clarity is a 5-day journey of discovery. I am traveling with you on this journey. I will guide you through the entire process.

My design for the process uses one of my favorite and most powerful tools (one that my clients find to be remarkably useful and valuable) — the Discovery Dozen™. This tool is easy for me to teach and easy for anyone to use. Best of all, it always reveals big insights and generates great ideas that can then be put into practice one step at a time. And, you’ll be excited to implement these changes because they are perfectly aligned with what you really want and need.

I am excited to offer this journey and lead women to starting to live their greatness. I’d love to be your guide and watch you start creating — and living — your biggest life!

The Roadmap to Clarity is available here.