3 great ways to keep your spirits high

Wow, we’re in the last week of January already! Does it feel like time is flying by for you? Or are the days dragging along, as we continue to live through the pandemic and the ways it imposes limitations and challenges?

So much depends on the frame of mind we hold, even in the most trying times.

Try these 3 ways to keep your spirits from flagging

1. Create space for YOU

In my work with accomplished women I frequently hear about the stresses of work (and often parenting, too) that eclipse space for self-care and the pursuit of what brings them joy. (And there are plenty of men who struggle with this, as well.)

I get it. There’s a lot to do. There are obligations to fulfill, and people who need us, and...

When we deplete ourselves, we cannot do the best for anyone else. We cannot do our best work, either.

Our brains, bodies and spirits need a break!

We give best when we give from a full cup. Why not pause now, to think about a few ways you can fill your own cup?

2. Get clear about what matters to you

When you know your values, you have guideposts for what you say “Yes” to and what you choose not to do. It makes it easier to set good boundaries, and stop being a people-pleaser (if you are among the countless people-pleasers in the world).

By making better choices, that are aligned with your clear values, your day-to-day happiness and well-being will expand.

Why not think about the key values that matter most to you?

3. Adopt an abundant mindset to open your heart

When we believe in an abundant universe — by turning away from a mindset of scarcity — everything gets better in your life.

I know that this idea may may not be easy for many people to grasp. We live in a fear-driven culture, and most of us grew up in environments that were far from focused on abundance.

But I have seen what happens when I adopted this way of thinking and being in the world, and I see it all the time in the lives of my clients.

When we believe in abundance we share with ease, and we experience a feedback loop of generosity and kindness.

When we expect goodness, by shifting negative thoughts into positive ones and changing our self-talk, our energy changes. Our hearts are open. We feel more love and are fueled by love. People feel great being around us. Good things start happening more often.

And the positive ripple effects grow, too!

How can you try to shift into expecting the best in your day today?

I have tools that can help

I have a free guide called Creating Space for YOU: Easy Small Changes that Can Make a BIG IMPACT, that you can download here. It includes ideas for seemingly simple, doable changes that will do just what the title says — have a big impact on your life and well-being!

Let me know which of the practices you decide to try — and how they help you.

(Note, when you download the guide you’ll be added to my email list — but if you are already on the list and enter the same email address, you won’t get double emails.)

I also help my clients identify their values, and learn to create a more abundant mindset, so that they have more joy and ease in their lives. The impact helps them in remarkable ways.

If you want to talk about how to bolster your well-being in any (or all) of these ways, let’s talk. Email me and we’ll make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How this important week can impact your life

This is a momentous week. We started by celebrating Martin Luther King Jr., whose life and legacy have inspired us for decades.

Dr. King led bravely and he inspired us to dream — to dream of a time when there would be justice and equality for all people in this nation.

He famously said that the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.

We have been living through a time when the bend of the arc toward justice has been tested in terrible ways. I am grateful that we are moving toward justice in a significant way this week, even as we know there is still enormous important work to be done.

It feels to me that we are on the precipice of a new beginning as a nation.

We are ushering in new leadership that is committed to moving us all forward — beyond divisions, robustly addressing the devastating pandemic and the restoration of our economy, forging ahead to tackle climate change and make big headway toward righting racial injustice, and so much more.

This is the time we can all dream of a brighter future, and all contribute to making that future a reality.

Each of us can dream — dream about the biggest, best ways to show up in our lives, and to bring all of our gifts into the world.

When we allow ourselves to dream big, and when we then each bring commitment to doing our work in the best ways possible, that great work — whatever it is — contributes to creating a better world.

What is your dream?

What do you long to do, and to have? How do you want to grow and expand? What will it take for your dreams to become your reality?

Start by considering who you need to BE in your life for your dreams to be realized.

Do you need to be bolder? Do you need to attend to your self-care to be strong and healthy and rested enough to do your genius work?

Do you need to create quiet, so you are not distracted and hectic all the time?

Do you need to believe in your gifts and build confidence?

Do you need to be more decisive? Do you need to set healthy boundaries? Do you need to have courageous conversations?

The foundation for realizing your dreams begins with considering who you need to BE each day, how you want to show up in the world.

Begin to step into the person you want to be

Start with awareness as you move through your days.

Check in with yourself to notice when you are on auot-pilot (such as pulling back from opportunities, or packing too many things into an already-crammed schedule, or snapping at people you love).

Layer on belief

Start with belief in yourself, that it is possible for you to make these changes. Make a practice of journaling, or meditation, or creating a mantra to repeat, or whatever will help you build the belief that you can make these changes.

Next add commitment

Commit to being self-aware and to actually shifting into the new ways of being that you are focused on. Think about where and when you most need to show up in this new way. It may be at work, or with family, or the way you write your marketing materials, or develop your skills. Make reminders for yourself. (I recommend making colorful post-it note reminders for yourself and placing them around your house where you will see them often.)

Get help if you need a guide

Hire a coach, join a coaching program, or ask a close friend to be your accountability partner as you build the new “muscles” — of confidence, boldness, decisiveness, slowing down, or whatever other ways you determined you want to BE in your life, so that you can create the reality you dream of.

You don’t have to do this alone! And getting help will not only accelerate the pace of bringing your dreams into reality, it will ease the process.

This is the perfect time for you to make your dreams real!

Latch on to the positive, hopeful energy around you.

Say “No” to fear or doubt if those feelings show up.

Let love — for yourself and for the world — fuel your efforts. Aim to say yes to love — to love for yourself, and love for everyone around you.

To quote Dr. King:
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.

Today is the day to begin! Today is the day you can be the light, powered by love, to be the person who will make her dreams her reality, and thereby make the world a better place.

As you begin, and as you stay committed to the process, you will be a part of a huge force for good, for expansion, and for building a beautiful future for people everywhere.

I look forward to hearing from you if you want to talk about creating the life you dream of. Hit reply and we’ll make a date.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to be resilient now

When I wrote to you last week, 2021 felt like it was off to a fresh, clean, promising start.

And then our nation was rocked by an event that has been deeply disturbing — and is a true wake-up call.

The message for me is that we cannot take this democracy for granted. There has been clear evidence of deep problems for years. And while it’s hard to impact change as individuals, we can come together and collectively support real change — which, happily, we we saw happen at the ballot box in November, and for those in Georgia, last week.

I know we are politically divided. But I believe that there are many people who did not support the president-elect with their votes who also want to see the restoration of a peaceful democracy, with respect for our Constitution and laws.

When we come together we have the ability to influence the future of this country.

It starts with each of us

How do we each show up in our lives and in the world?

How do we live with integrity each day?

And how do we move forward after we have been deeply shocked and scared?

We have an invitation to think about these questions now.

How are you showing up each day?

Are you clear about who you are, your values, what you stand for?

Do you live by those values each day?

Few of us are very clear about knowing ourselves, and few have focused on identifying the values that are most important to us.

Many of us are people-pleasers, and thus do not stand up for what matters to us.

Or we put ourselves last, always focused on caring for those around us.

Or we want to speak up, but don’t have the courage to speak our truth.

Or we do not believe in our abilities to do things that truly are within our reach — if only we stretched a bit outside of our comfort zone.

Are you living in integrity day by day?

Even when we do have clarity about ourselves and our values, few of us are able to fully live in integrity with what we care about.

It takes courage and conviction to show up each day, at work, with our families and friends, and stand in our personal power.

We have all heard people say things that we feel are not right, or are unfair, misguided, or false. Or we’ve been asked to accept or follow directions that are out of alignment with our integrity. In circumstances such as these, the challenge is to find the words or take action to offer another point of view, or advocate for another path forward, or defend the truth as we perceive it.

It takes courage and conviction, and many of us struggle to find the words or take the actions to consistently live in integrity.

How are you moving forward now?

Whether or not the events on the national level are top of mind for you, or if personal concerns are looming large, we all need to find ways to move forward with purpose when things get tough.

At times like these we need to be resilient.

And over time, we are frequently called on to be resilient.

Try asking yourself these questions:

1. Consider times in your past when you needed to be resilient. What did you do? What allowed you to find that strength? Now that time has passed and you look back, what might you do differently today?

2. Where are there opportunities for you to create steps to move forward, rather than reacting to the challenge that’s troubling you?

3. Can you slow down, get present, and consider lots of possible options — so you can choose what next best step to take?

4. Can you reach out for help or support?

5. Can you ask yourself this question: If I were not afraid, what would I do?

When you consider these questions you will find meaningful insights, and resilience will come more easily.

These times call for more of us to live big

I invite you to spend some time with the ideas and the questions I shared above.

When you devote time to careful consideration about yourself and devising new ways to move forward, you are opening the door to living more intentionally — living your values, bringing resiliency to challenges, and having more agency in your life.

These are foundations of living big.

And when we each strive to live big, we impact not only our individual lives, but the lives of those in our families, our communities, our country and the world.

My mission is to help people live big

If you want to explore the ways you can live your biggest and best life, let’s have a conversation. Here’s what to do to take me up on my invitation.

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call and we will explore what limits you now and what’s possible for you to create — to make the future you desire a reality.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to guide yourself to live BIG in 2021

Happy January 2021! I feel so much possibility in the air as we have left 2020 behind. I hope that you do as well.

As we all eagerly await important change — we will soon welcome new leadership, and we await widespread availability of vaccines to bring an end to the devastation of the pandemic that we all continue to live through — we can be the source of change in our lives.

How to make meaningful change in your life this year

For many, resolutions were made on New Year’s Eve. And I am all for setting out to make a desired change!

But resolutions typically fizzle fast. Deeper change can start with something more foundational than a desire to get more active, or to lose weight, or to save more.

I created a powerful approach years back to help you in a way that can sustain you beyond a week, a month or even a season.

Try my process to chose a word that will guide your year

If you have been with me a while, you may recall that in my first message of each year I recommend a process for choosing a word to guide you in the year ahead.

Why?

When you land on a key word for what you need most to support you to live a year of meaningful growth, you will be amazed at what can happen.

By choosing a single word to guide you, you will have a compass for how you show up and everything you do all year.

It may sound daunting to choose one word, or you may be tempted to think of one on the fly and go with it.

By following these steps, you will discover a word to return to over and over again, to remind and inspire you to be the person you want to be — so that your life grows and expands in big ways.

1. Reflect on the best parts of year that just ended

A great way to reflect with a structured approach is to use the suggestions I wrote about last week. (If you followed that process, you have a head-start on choosing your word of the year!)

Start with making a long list of all that you are proud of — down to the small stuff! In addition to acknowledging yourself for all of it, think about what stands out as being especially meaningful.

Put a star next to the things you see on your list that you want to KEEP — and build on — this year.

2. What do you want to change and what do you want to start?

What are you no longer willing to tolerate — in yourself, or in your life? What do you want to say, “NO!” to in 2021?

And, what do you want to start this year?

Make lists of the STOPS and the STARTS you want to bring into your life.

3. At the end of 2021, what has to have happened for you to call the year your BEST YEAR EVER?

This is where you sit back and envision yourself feeling thrilled by who you have become, how you have shown up, or what you have done in 2021 that makes you feel like you stretched and grew in ways that feel great.

Indulge in some time to write in a journal. You might want to write a letter from yourself at the end of 2021 to you now. In the letter, let your future self tell you about what has happened this year and all the steps you have taken in new ways, and the wonderful outcomes.

4. Now connect the dots

Look back at what you starred in Step 1 — what was most important about your successes in 2020, that you want to build on.

And look at what you decided you want to START in Step 2.

Next think about what you envisioned about yourself to feel you had your best year ever in Step 3.

What words come to mind that hold the energy to guide you for a year of growth and development — so that you live big in 2021?

Consider words that will inspire you to stretch and grow, to be the version of yourself you feel on the cusp of, or want more of.

Some words my clients have chosen in the past include TRUST, BOLD, BIG, JUSTICE, JOY, CONNECTED, FAITH, NURTURE, COURAGEOUS — and many more.

Here are two examples of words of the year I chose in the past.

The year after I had had health issues, I chose the word VIBRANT, to remind myself, and inspire myself, that I wanted a year of vibrant health, thinking, creativity and action.

The next year I chose DEPTH, to guide me to go even deeper in my coaching, writing, relationships and work as an artist.

What’s the one word that fits for you now, and that will inspire you over the months ahead?

When you have chosen it, you’ll have a valuable resource.

To make your word really work for you, print it in bold big letters and hang it where you will see it each day, or you might make it the opening screen on your phone.

Each time you see your word you will be prompted to think about how your are living your word. And share your word with those who can support you to live into your word all year.

Please share your word for 2021

I would be delighted to hear the word you chose and why you chose it. And I’d love to know the vision you have for yourself at the end of 2021, that your word will inspire.

Drop me a note and let me know! (I'll reply and share my word for 2021 with you, too.)

And if you want to clearly shape your vision for 2021, join me to create a vision board at my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop, on Sunday, January 17.

I am delighted to offer this workshop on Zoom, so that you can safely join me from anywhere on the globe. This powerful and meaningful experience will bring you clarity and inspiration, to envision specific elements of the year you want to create in 2021. Register for the workshop here.

Wishing you health, joy, love, peace, and all good things.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

3 life-changing questions to ask now

We are about to say good-bye to 2020.

As eager as we all are to move ahead and leave this challenging year behind, let’s not rush. We have an important opportunity to reflect on 2020 before the turn of the calendar.

After all, when we fail to look back at what we can learn, we lose the opportunity for precious insights that can support us in the future.

Three great questions to ask yourself now

1. What are you proud of?

Acknowledging ourselves is really important — something many of us never do. We need to celebrate things we have accomplished, our resilience in the face of difficulties, ways we have grown over time, and good that we have done.

Spend some time reflecting and writing down all the things this year for which you are proud when you look back at 2020. And don’t skip the small stuff — it all counts!

When you have your list, savor it all. Hold that goodness in your heart and own the pride.

2. What can you let go of?

We all carry limiting stories, grievances, self-critical thinking, resentment, fears, and more that limit us. This is a perfect time to think about what you want to leave behind in 2020.

Write down all the things you want to let go of.

You may see that some things on your list can be easier to stop, while others may be entrenched and hard to let go of. That’s ok.

This is an exercise in awareness. Without awareness, we drift. And when we drift we fail to address changes we want to make.

You can make a note of the items you believe will be fairly easy to drop and put the list where you will see it each day. If you can catch yourself holding onto or returning to any of the items, you’ll have a ready reminder to try and let go.

For the more challenging things you want to drop, you might start a journal and dive into exploring their hold on you, as well as ways you might begin to let go of them, bit by bit.

3. What is your vision for 2021?

Rather than starting the new year as if it’s just another day, this is a perfect time to set a vivid vision for your new year.

I am not talking about making a resolution to exercise more, or stop a bad habit.

Think bigger.

Connect to what your heart desires.

What do you want to create next year?
How do you want to live big?

What are you excited to explore, to test, to step into, to go after?

When we set a vision we bring focus to our lives. And what we focus on is what we get.

It’s not about magical thinking.

Rather, it’s about setting clear intentions and staying committed to the vision — even when that means we need to expand to do new things that are not in our comfort zone.

Give yourself a gift as the year ends

Whether you were showered with gifts during the holidays or not, the gift I am recommending is different.

A magnificent gift you can bestow on yourself now is the gift of time.

Devote some precious time to reflecting on all that you can celebrate as you moved through what was a uniquely difficult year. Move on to considering what you decided you want to leave behind as you turn the corner to a new year. And savor the vision for what you want for yourself in 2021.

And if you are unsure about your vision for 2021, you may want to join me to create a vision board — this is another wonderful gift you can bestow on yourself.

I am excited to lead my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop online, on Sunday, January 17.

No matter where you live, you can join me for a powerful and meaningful experience that will bring you clarity and inspiration for the year you want to create in 2021. Registration is open now!

Wishing you an abundant new year filled with health, joy, love, peace, and all good things.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The perfect week for combining love + creativity

Here we are — the big holiday week of the year has arrived, and it’s also the week we celebrate the Winter Solstice.

As I do not celebrate Christmas, I enjoy seeing the pleasure so many friends experience on this holiday. And I am always glad to rejoice in celebrating the Solstice. While December 21st was the shortest, darkest day of the year, we now begin to enjoy a bit more daylight each day. This always lifts my spirits as we move into a new year.

And what a year this has been. I feel confident saying this is a year we will all remember, and we are all ready to bid adieu.

Now, more than any year in memory, we all need an abundance of light and love!

Make this a week to slow down, relax, and consciously welcome love

Even though we cannot be with friends and family in person as we long to, there are many ways to create connection and share love.

We must be extra-careful to stay safe and keep others safe. But that does not mean we need to feel apart in our hearts.

What new ways of connecting can you create now, that will hold meaning for you and those about whom you care?

While many of us feel “zoomed out” by work meetings, Zoom has proven to be a great way to share a meal, play a game, meet with family members at great distances to laugh together, and do creative projects (from my now-virtual monthly IgNight Creative Evenings to my weekly art-making dates with my grandson).

There are countless ways to create meaningful and memorable connections.

No matter what is happening around us and for us, we always have the power to create

Some of us have moved through the months of the pandemic with more ease than others. Many have suffered terribly. We have all been challenged — and changed.

And, as always, some people in similar situations fair better than others. Those that do best are those who are able to find the most positive frame of mind and the most positive path to pursue.

This is what I call creating our way forward

When things get tough, a creator looks for possibilities that are not obvious.

A creator considers new ways of responding. This can mean new ways of getting support, or new ways of coping with stress — whether it’s through creative expression, by reaching out, by ramping up self-care, by getting out in nature, or anything else. By choosing to create each next step with intention, rather than reacting, amazing things are possible.

A creator tries and tests new approaches. It might be for managing day-to-day life, for running a business or bringing in new streams of income, for setting up ways family members can all cohabit and do their work and learning, or anything else.

A creator keeps an open mind and stays curious. When you ask yourself, “What’s possible?” you are always considering how to find the best path forward.

A creator also looks for wonder and tunes in to gratitude every day.

Approaching your life this way keeps the heart open. When you combine an open heart and an open mind new possibilities show up.

Love + Creativity make a powerful combination

I invite you to bring love and light into your life in as many ways as you can dream up.

All that dreaming is connected to your creative power. You have a bottomless well of creativity. You cannot run out of it, so use it with abandon!

When you are focused on love, and you create with intention, fear stays at bay and joy increases. And who doesn’t want a tremendously joy-filled holiday season?

Start now, and it will be easy to carry this beautiful energy into the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Where are you headed and who do you want to be?

Are you tired?

Do you drive yourself, always doing, and rarely allowing space for considering how you want to BE in your life?

Do you live without considering what really matters to you, or how you want to feel each day?

Do you have a compass set for where you’re headed in your life, or are you drifting?

These are all themes that came up on Sunday, when I had the great pleasure to co-lead a virtual Vision Board Party, attended by 50 people from all over the world, with my long-time mentor and colleague, Peleg Top.

After years of leading my powerful vision board workshops in person in Boston, this was a new experience for me. I had no idea what it would be like in the Zoom environment.

In short, it was a fabulous afternoon.

Seeing what happened for everyone in the space we created, guiding them to move through a process that got everyone focused, clear and energized, and then hearing the insights shared by so many, was remarkable.

For many participants, this was their first experience creating a vision board. Others found the process helped them go much deeper than when they had made a vision board in the past. And creating in a community was something new for lots of the attendees.

It was gratifying to hear tremendous appreciation for the new foundation they created for their lives, and hear their enthusiasm for moving into the new year with so much clarity.

Are you looking ahead?

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, especially as the holiday season is upon us, the end of the year is nearing, and we are all coping with the challenges of living through the pandemic.

When we do not pause and find quiet, and make space for ourselves to consider what we want to create in our lives, we miss the opportunity to be intentional about how we live.

My invitation to you is to slow down and look ahead.

Think about what you can create to make this season one of meaning and joy, in spite of the need to be socially distanced. How can you create connection, happiness and love in new and special ways?

And while you are in that thoughtful mode, consider who you want to BE in the new year, and what you want to do and have.

Even if you don’t create a vision board, create a vision.

See that vision in your mind’s eye. Savor it. Write about it in your journal.

But don’t stop there.

Think about one step you can take now, one small new way of showing up or taking action, that will help you step into this season and the year ahead as the person you want to BE.

Let’s look ahead together.

I will be a featured speaker on the Anchoring the Consciousness of Oneness World Summit, that is focused on the concept of “oneness” in mind, body and spirit. I am honored to be a part of this special program, and eager to be a participant, too, so I can learn from many other great teachers.

The Summit runs December 21 to 27. By registering you can access the content through April 2021.

And because people who did not make it to the Vision Board Party on Sunday have been asking, I am planning to offer another virtual Vision Board Experience soon. Stay tuned to hear about the date and how to register.

To take a bigger step into your ideal future, let’s talk.

If you want to make a bigger commitment to yourself and your future, Live Big Live! may be an ideal opportunity. We just launched, but 2 more women can still join this powerful program and not miss a beat.

Check out what the first group had to say about their experience. If you want to hear more, let’s have a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the fit for you — now, or when Live Big Live! starts again in March.

Stay safe and well, and stay creative.

Is it time to turn things around?

It’s already mid-December. I can’t figure out how it snuck up on me so fast!

As we near the end of this intense and challenging year, I am reflecting on the months behind me, and looking ahead at a new year just around the corner.

No matter how this year has unfolded, we have the opportunity to reflect and learn from how we navigated the last months, and consider what we want to create in our lives going forward.

What I see when I look back.

There’s been a lot of opportunity for which I am grateful, and affirmation that I was able to move forward even when unexpected challenges showed up.

In January I launched my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life. My plans for doing bookstore readings and speaking certainly did not materialize as I expected! But I found new ways to spread the word, speaking virtually, reaching out to do podcast interviews, and more.

While different than I had planned, new approaches were not only effective, but enjoyable. And virtual events enabled me to make excellent distant connections.

My painting class at SMFA went virtual in March. By staying committed, even on Zoom I was able to learn, and my work has progressed in ways I was not sure would be possible.

While clients were in a state of suspended animation in the early spring, by May I was supporting new clients who decided there was no time like the present to take charge of their lives and create their futures.

I also used this time to create a new program, Live Big Live! to support the accomplished women I love to coach. This exciting experience proved to be remarkable, and I am thrilled to be offering it again.

While unable to be with my children and grandchildren as usual, we were able to quarantine and briefly be together a few times, and we have a new Facetime ritual that is very special. Zoom calls with extended family have also been a gift that keeps us connected over the miles.

And even having suffered a terrible loss when my mother died this summer, I am moving through the grief with the comfort of feeling her presence in my life in new ways. My connection with my father is richer than ever, too.

I certainly long for life as it was before the pandemic, but I am deeply grateful for all the ways I was able to be resilient.

What lessons are there for you?

When you look back at the last months, what do you observe? Was there struggle? Were you able to create new ways to cope and thrive? There may well have been ups and downs.

Whether the year has had a lot of challenges or went well, can you look back now and glean insights? Can those insights help you move into 2021 with more resourcefulness and agency?

There’s no time like the present to start living big!

While we can learn from the past, dwelling on the past is counterproductive. We can only move forward, and there is always opportunity to create in new ways. Our future is created by us — when we take action, and also when we choose to do nothing.

If you choose to act, rather than live with the consequences of drifting, I am happy to share several good opportunities.

I am excited to be joining my long-time coach and colleague, Peleg Top, to lead a virtual Vision Board Party on Sunday, December 13. Register to join us to get clear about your vision for the new year and make a fabulous vision board to inspire you! (All proceeds are being donated to charity.)

I will also be a featured speaker on the Anchoring the Consciousness of Oneness World Summit, that is focused on the concept of “oneness” in mind, body and spirit. The Summit runs December 21 to 27, and by registering you can access the content through April 2021.

And, you can make a bigger commitment to yourself and your future, by taking a deep dive with me and a remarkable group of women to create a clear vision for your 2021, and dynamically creating that future. The next Live Big Live! — my new signature program — is about to begin. Check out what the first group had to say about their experience.

If you want to hear more, let’s have a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the fit for you. I’ll be glad to help you gain perspective about what’s limiting you now, and what’s possible in your life, to see your path to living the life you yearn for. (Book with me today, as we're embarking soon!)

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Pair gratitude and vision to live big!

Now that Thanksgiving is in the rear view mirror, many of us have focused on gratitude and moved on.

After all, today’s the first day of December, and I hear that people are already decorating for Christmas.

For many it’s exciting to be on to the next holiday, and the next effort to bring some light to a time when it's dark, getting colder, and there’s a clear realization that our need to stay separate from friends and family is going to continue for quite a while.

Let’s not leave a focus on gratitude behind now!

Gratitude has deep meaning for me — I devoted a chapter to the topic in my book Live Big. It’s certainly not a one-time-a-year subject.

As I work with my clients, the opportunity to practice gratitude inevitably comes into the work. And while the concept is met with varying degrees of enthusiasm, when my clients make it a focus it always proves to be valuable.

And last week I was honored to be part of a Gratitude Gathering that my coach and colleague, Peleg Top, created. Take a listen to the wonderful program here. (My segment is the first after Peleg’s opening remarks.)

I also highly recommend this episode of Hidden Brain, hosted by Shankar Vedantam and featuring David DeSteno, Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University. You will gain fascinating insight into the ways that gratitude improves health and well-being, and how a practice of gratitude can actually help you achieve your goals.

How can gratitude fuel a richer life for you?

As discussed in the three Gratitude Gathering segments, and in the Hidden Brain podcast episode, you can bring gratitude into your life in a range of interesting ways.

Choose the way or ways that feel most appealing to you and see what happens in your life.

Your foundation of gratitude can inform a fresh vision, too.

As you bring more gratitude into your life, you are able to set a brighter, bigger vision for yourself.

I have two invitations for you.

1. Join me on December 13, when I’ll again partner with Peleg Top, as a guest teacher for a virtual Vision Board Party. Making a vision board now is a great way to step into 2021 with clarity. I would love for you to be there.

2. To give yourself a bigger gift to create your best future— to set a big new vision with extraordinary clarity and deep guidance and support — Live Big Live! may be a perfect fit for you. This powerful new program, that I created last summer, was life-changing for the first group of women who experienced it. (You can see and hear these women describe their experiences and outcomes yourself.)

The next Live Big Live! will launch soon, and will support another great group of like-minded women to close out 2020 on a high note and move into 2021 as remarkable creators of the visions they are guided to define for their futures.

The first step to explore this opportunity is to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. (Book a call soon, as the next Live Big Live! is right around the corner and there are only a few spots still available.) Whether or not we both think Live Big Live! is right for you now, I will be glad for us to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

It's time to demystify “creativity” and start living it!

I have a question for you: Are you open and willing to be creative?

I know that for many people this is a scary proposition. For others the question broaches a topic that is interpreted in so many ways that it’s hard to know how to begin to think about it.

Here’s some perspective that may help you consider the question for yourself.

Being creative means...

So many brilliant people have offered definitions of what it means to be creative. I will throw out a few ways you can think about creating that I hope will dim any fear or confusion.

Being creative means…

• being willing to think about things in a new way

• being willing to take a chance and do something new and different

• being excited about new possibilities and dreaming up what those might look like

• being willing to play and experiment

• slowing down — instead of reacting reflexively — and considering what your best options are or what might be possible

When you consider being creative in these ways, I hope it does not feel so hard to imagine yourself being a creator.

I hope it doesn't feel like creating is only for those “talented” people, like painters and novelists and musicians.

Rather, creating is something we can all do all the time, and being a creator can lead us all into a better future!

Consider this scenario

I was in a conversation with a brilliant business owner. We talked about the challenges of connecting to new prospects for her high-touch service business now that their tried and true approaches of the past have become impossible to use in the pandemic.

Yes, things are different now.

And, there is an opportunity to try something new — to not only connect, but to make a distinctive impression and make a meaningful connection in a surprising way. We brainstormed about several exciting possibilities.

When the question arose about how people would likely respond to such novel approaches, I suggested she might ask some current clients how they’d respond to the ideas. Outreach like that has a bonus, too. It’s an opportunity to connect to key current clients and hear how they are doing and what’s on their minds. She was excited to bring the new ideas to her senior team.

All of these possibilities grew from a concern about how hard it is to operate within the constraints of these times. By thinking in new ways, by getting curious and playful as we considered what might be possible, new ideas started to emerge quickly.

I can’t wait to hear the outcome of their new efforts.

When we focus on what’s possible, things change

It’s easy to feel stuck and stymied — about personal matters and in our businesses, our work and our careers.

When we can relax and begin to generate ideas without feeling like every one of them has to be great, we start to find directions that are exciting to explore and test. We have a whole new level of energy. Our spirits are lifted. We are motivated and excited.

We have never needed to be creative more than now!

And keep in mind that we get what we focus on. So, check in with yourself frequently and take note of where you are focusing.

What do you plan to focus on now?

Can you shift gears and focus on new possibilities? New ways of living that will bring you new levels of joy and satisfaction? New ways of serving your clients or doing your work? New ways of interacting with others, in every sphere of your life?

Can you bring a focus to gratitude for all the good in your life right now — especially in this holiday week when we collectively focus on thankfulness?

With gratitude as a foundation, you can more easily layer on the open mindset of being a creator, as you bring your focus to what matters to you.

Cultivate the joy of creating and watch what happens!

As the days are long, dark, cold and often wet, you can chose to activate the joy of creating.

Here are four possibilities:

1. Join me for an evening of shared creative fun at IgNight — now on Zoom, so you can join from anywhere! Each month we gather to create in a new, inspiring way.

2. Get your copy of Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life and dive into the terrific practices that will help you to create exciting change in your life.

3. Make a vision board with me on December 13, when I join my long-time mentor and colleague, Peleg Top, as a guest teacher for a virtual Vision Board Party! Making a vision board now is a great way to step into 2021 with clarity.

4. Check out Live Big Live!, the powerful new program I created last summer that was life-changing for the first group of women who experienced it. The next Live Big Live! will launch soon, and will support another great group of like-minded women to close out 2020 on a high note and move into 2021 as remarkable creators of the visions they define for their futures.

Stay safe and well, enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving, and keep creating.

Now is the time to shape your vision. Here’s how.

It’s easy — and comfortable — to focus only on the day-today, where you are now. When you keep doing the things that come easily, things you do out of habit, and living the way you’re used to, on and on without question, you cheat yourself.

When you never sit back and take a long view you fail to consider big questions and new possibilities.

What you do now matters in the long term!

Because when you live without pausing to consider what you really want, and what it will take to shift to make that desire our reality, you stay stuck where you are.

After all, when you keep doing things the same way, you are sure to get the same results.

It may feel challenging to get your head around asking big questions about the life you want to live, and what changes may be needed to make it a reality.

Why not set aside a few minutes to get clear? My 6-part framework is a great way to approach the process.

Look ahead and consider 6 key domains of your life

Sit back in a quiet spot and get comfortable. Have a notebook handy, and maybe a cup of tea.

Close your eyes and think about your life a few months from now, and a year from now. Ask yourself what you want that life to look like. What can you envision that connects to the desires in your heart?

Think about your work

Do you want to make changes — either in the kind of work you do, where you do it, the level you yearn to reach, or who you want to work with each day? Do you want your work to have a bigger impact, or a new focus?

Think about your relationships

Are there any relationships in your life that you realize your are tolerating, that you want to change, or maybe end? Are there some relationships you miss and want to add? Are there some you want to focus on and improve? Are there some wonderful relationships that you want to make a bigger part of your day-to-day life?

Think about your environment

Consider your living space and your work space. Does your environment support your well-being? Are there pockets of clutter around you that sap your energy? Is your environment calm, does it function well, is it a pleasure to live in? Do you have adequate comfort? Do you have access to nature, if that matters to you? What would make your environment more supportive of your day-to-day happiness?

Think about your physical and emotional well-being

Are you eating well? Are you getting enough regular exercise? Do you move in ways that make you happy, or do you want to switch things up? How is the quality of your sleep? Do you get enough rest each day? Are you irritable or content?

Think about your spirit

Does your spirit soar, or do you feel discontent or restless? Do you have a spiritual practice, or wish for a more satisfying one? Do you feel connected to your purpose? Do you trust and believe in yourself? Do you feel inspired and hopeful?

Think about the legacy you want to leave

Have you paused to think about your legacy? What are you doing now that will leave a mark that matters to you — be it with those closest to you, or that will impact your community, or maybe the world? What can you bring into your life, or make a focus, that will leave a meaningful legacy?

After spending time with these questions, you may have a few notes or pages of thoughts!

Consider what showed up in your notes

Do you realize that you want to step into a bigger, clearer, more intentional life? Do you envision being on a path to a life that will light you up in bigger ways?

The vision for your future might be focused on your work, on more personal expression, on the quality of your relationships, or a combination of factors that will bring you joy and satisfaction.

Savor the images that light up your heart. Sit with them, and begin to see them as your future reality.

Now is the perfect time to make your vision a reality

It can feel wonderful to envision a new future, and in the next breath it can feel really scary to think about stepping out of your comfort zone.

It can feel daunting to imagine yourself making the changes you envision in any (or several) of the domains — or even figuring out what first steps you can take.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed and so afraid that you do nothing.

But doing nothing to stay comfortable in the short-term eclipses the possibilities for big benefits down the road.

Maybe, if you think about it, it’s actually scarier to keep living the same way you are now, and never creating the life you truly desire.

Let’s talk about your fears, and the life you really want

If you are serious about exploring what it looks like to begin making your vision a a reality, let’s have a conversation.

On a Live Big Breakthrough Call you can share both the changes you want to make in your future, and the fears and obstacles that are in the way. I promise that you will gain new insights and perspective.

And if you want to hear about my coaching programs (including the next Live Big Live!), and if I believe the fit is good, we’ll talk about the possibilities for working together.

I believe that everything great begins with a meaningful conversation. I welcome you to make a date with me today.

How to stay steady in a peak emotional time

If you feel like most people I know, the last days and weeks have been incredibly challenging. On top of concerns about increasing COVID cases, extreme weather, and escalating political tension, election day — tomorrow — is filling most of us with intense emotion.

It feels to me like being in a state of suspended animation. Many people describe it as a collective holding of breath.

And holding your breath for any extended period of time — either physically or metaphorically — is never a good idea.

Why?

When you hold your breath for more than a short time, a cascade of problematic physical responses result. You decrease oxygen flow to the brain, your heart rate drops, CO₂ and other dangerous gases build up in your blood, and none of that is healthy.

And when you feel as though you are holding your breath emotionally, you put yourself in a heightened state of anxiety. Anxiety impacts your mood, and it also impacts your body. Your heart may pound, you may develop headaches, experience GI problems, have trouble sleeping, and more.

Today, and in the days to come, you can support yourself to stay emotionally steady with these 3 practices.

1. Start breathing with intention

Yes, your breath is a tool that can help you in many ways. When you breathe deeply and slowly, the stress responses in your body are reduced.

Sit quietly for a minute or two — or a bit longer. Breathe in fully, all the way into your belly. Pause a moment and then exhale very slowly. As few as three long slow belly breaths like this will help.

As you breathe this way, you will feel a gentle release of tension. Let your shoulders drop and relax. Aim to bring that softness into all the muscles in your body — from the top of your head, to your jaw and neck, and down to your toes.

Repeat breathing breaks like this often.

2. Move your body

Choose a way that appeals to you to get yourself in motion.

If you are a runner, or love yoga, those are great ways to get moving. But there are very simple ways that work well, too.

In just five to 10 minutes you can stretch and shake out your body. Get some music on and dance. Or take a brisk walk around the block.

Getting the blood flowing like this releases natural chemicals that enhance your sense of well-being.

3. Get creative

When you start creating you have a great outlet for anxiety or other difficult emotions.

You can write a poem or pour your thoughts out in a journal. Try using color and draw or paint. You might cook, play music, dance, sing, garden, build something, knit, or create in any way you can think of.

Why not invite someone to create with you? Is there someone you live with who would enjoy sharing some creative time mid-day? Or take a short creative break on Zoom with a friend or a small group.

Creating is a remarkable effective way to unload big emotion, feel more energy and maybe even feel joy.

Whatever happens in the world around us, we need to be our best selves.

We all need to show up, we all need to go on. We need to bring our best selves to everything we do.

Start with you.

When you are on steady footing, you will be a better leader to everyone around you.

You will be a better partner and friend, a better parent, a better colleague, and better at the work you do in the world. Your work matters now as much or more than ever.

We have all lived through fraught times before. We can move forward in the face of challenges.

On this important day remember that we all need to keep leading.

That’s how we move into a better future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who do you need to BECOME to live big now?

Here we are, in the last week of October, looking ahead to a momentous election and the last 2 months of 2020.

Yup, there are only 65 days left in this year.

You may be hearing and reading about meeting end-of-year sales goals and doing year-end assessments.

Maybe you are thinking back to the ambitions you had for this year that got interrupted, and perhaps derailed, by the pandemic.

Rather than feeling stressed or anxious, I am offering you a couple of questions to consider:

What will help you to end the year on a strong note? 

What states of mind, what ways of being, can you address now, to make these last 2 months the best they can be — and to be your most resourceful and resilient self as you move into 2021?

As you read these questions, are you wondering how to start thinking about answering them? 

Consider this.

Your state of being is key to the quality of your life

Your state of being — how you show up in the world, your mindset each day — is the foundation upon which everything rests. It impacts your relationships, your work, your personal well-being — your entire life.

To BECOME more grounded, clear and confident, follow these 3 steps.

Step 1: Assess your current state

Take a look at this list of common challenges and consider which are limiting you now. (Trust me, we all are hampered by some or many of these, to one degree or another!) 

How many of these trouble you?

• A lack of confidence

• Feeling unmotivated

• People pleasing

• Putting yourself last

• Skipping self-care

• Comparing yourself to others, making you feel like you are not good enough

• Feeling like an imposter

• Difficulty setting healthy boundaries

• Feeling indecisive

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Feeling fearful

Mindset challenges like these are likely to have been in place long before the pandemic, though they may now be more of a hindrance. Or maybe some new ones have recently cropped up for you.

And maybe you are thinking of a challenge that is not on this list. If so, make a note of it now.

Next, jot down all of the challenges that hamper you these days. And for each one, note the level of negative impact they have for you.

Use a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most distressing.

Are you surprised at what you see?

If your list is long, or the scale is high, do not feel discouraged. You now have more clarity — that’s a good thing! — and you can begin to move forward to address these limitations.

Step 2: Focus on small change for one challenge 

With the clarity you have now, consider the single biggest limiting mindset challenge you identified — or the one that feels most urgent to address.

Yes, it can be big work to address such challenges. And I am glad to tell you that making change like this is doable — but the most effective way do it is to bring your attention to making small, focused changes to one thing at a time.

It’s tempting to try and change many things at once, but that’s not wise. When you are scattered and inconsistent in your efforts you are unlikely to achieve the changes you desire. That leads to feeling discouraged and giving up.

Begin by paying attention to the one thing you most want to address now.

And do not minimize the importance of taking very small steps to start shifting into a better frame of mind.

Consider taking small steps like these

When you feel overwhelmed, indecisive, or feel hampered by any of the stresses listed above, try adopting a conscious practice like simply slowing down and taking 2 to 3 minutes to breathe in quiet. Done consistently, this can be a surprisingly fast way to connect to your calm, wise self. It will help you more than you might imagine.

Or, if you are skimping on self-care, or notice you are people-pleasing, or realize that you frequently put yourself last, consider ways to treat yourself with more self-love. You might schedule 10 minutes for yourself each day — be it to soak in a tub before bed, to read quietly, or to take a mid-day walk. 

Small practices like these, when regularly incorporated into your life, will have a meaningful impact.

You may also want to look at the helpful practices and exercises I’ve included in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, to help you address and overcome the limitations that concern you. Choose the practices you feel will most help you to make the changes you seek.

Step 3: Keep going, even if you are not always consistent!

When you bring commitment to incorporating a new practice into your life — even if you do it imperfectly and miss a day here and there — be sure to acknowledge yourself for making that commitment.

It’s when you get back on track and continue to build new practices that meaningful change becomes your new normal.

Much like brushing your teeth each day, you will soon stop needing to remind yourself to take those breaks, or treat yourself well, or set healthy boundaries. Practices like these become your new way of being, and you are then able to bring attention to the next area where you seek to make change. 

Can you imagine what it can look to become more of the woman you want to be by the end of 2020?

What would it look like for you to show up and do what’s important to you without those old ways of being?

What might your new year look like if you were able to shift into being a creator of the life you want, rather than feeling like it’s so hard to make the moves you long for?

Begin now! Start to take small steps to become all you yearn to be.

There’s no time like the present to get started.

And if you want personal support, to help you overcome the limitations that are hampering you with more ease and consistency, let’s make a date for a complimentary Live Big Breakthrough Call.

I’ll be happy to help you gain insights and new perspectives about the challenges that limit you and how you can move forward in your life in exciting ways.

And, if we both think the fit is right, I can share the way that my new signature program, Live Big Live!, might help you become a powerful creator of the future you yearn for.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you talk a good game? How to get into action!

Are you someone who talks a good game, but the reality is often that there’s more talk than action?

If so, you are not alone. I see accomplished people do this all the time.

They talk about starting a new, consistent exercise program, or networking more (for business development or to start a job search), or scheduling a long overdue medical appointment, or making time for a deep dive into a new interest, or meditating regularly, or researching something new.

Sometimes they’ve looked into the best places to network, but never registered to attend an event.

Many have thought long and hard about how and when and for how long to meditate, and maybe even asked around and downloaded a good app, but never actually started a meditation practice.

Some have purchased all the supplies needed for a new project, but have never used them.

The sad repercussions of never starting, or stalling out

When we declare that we want to do something — saying it only to ourselves, or telling others — and then do not follow through, a downward cycle can take root.

We feel frustrated and disappointed in ourselves. If we have told other people, we are likely to feel embarrassed, and even ashamed.

The voice of the self-critic inevitably starts to hammer away.

We berate ourselves, we lose confidence, we can lose hope. We compare ourselves to others. We can not only feel stuck, we can get demoralized.

As this kind of negative thinking continues, it becomes increasingly hard to get started, or to resume an early effort.

Action is the answer.
You can create the ideal conditions to ease your way.

I’m glad to tell you that there is a three-part formula to pull out of feeling stuck and frustrated.

Here is how to lay a solid foundation for taking action:

Begin with willingness

Change, growth, or anything you really want can only occur if you are willing to embrace the unknown and engage in the effort.

If it’s important enough to you to step out of your comfort zone, you have the first step in place.

Add belief

You need to believe that you matter, and that you deserve the thing you want, and that you can be a creator of what is important to you.

We become what we believe.

Can you believe in yourself, and believe that it’s possible to take a small step forward — even when it feels challenging? 

Now it's time to commit

With willingness and belief in place, commitment is the final ingredient that is needed to move forward from concept (thinking about it, wishing for it, talking about it) to taking consistent action that will bring results.

Three keys to implementing an action plan

The idea of taking action, when you’ve struggled, can feel intimidating. We tend to feel that big bold action is what’s needed, and is all that counts.

If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while, you will not be surprised to read points one and two. Add the third step and you’ll be on your way to sustained action.

1. Imperfect action is the perfect way to begin

The feeling that you need to do things perfectly, right from the start, can keep you from starting at all. We put so much pressure on ourselves!

The key is to embrace imperfect action. 

When you set out to write a crummy first draft, or imperfectly test the waters in any other way, you give yourself permission to do that thing badly. With that expectation, it’s so much easier to start.

When you start anything, you are in motion. You can then gain momentum with greater ease.

2. Small steps really work

People who have run marathons (and I am not among them!), have told me how they started by deciding to go for it, and running very short distances to start. They slowly built their endurance. I have one friend who began that way and went on to complete an Iron Man triathlon — and she had never run in her youth!

Small steps are powerful. There’s no need to start big, which can lead to frustration and can make that thing you want to do feel unattainable.

If, for example, you want to start a meditation practice, you might start by planning to sit quietly for 5 minutes twice a week. Experiment. What’s the best the time of day for you? You might try both silent and guided meditation. Find a setting that works best for you. You can gradually increase the number of minutes and/or number of times per week from there. 

3. Stick with it until you hit your stride

A client of mine reminded me of this point in a coaching session this morning. She had taught yoga, and she told her students they needed to take 10 classes before they would know if yoga was for them or not.

When you experience a yoga class on different days, your body is in a different state each time you get on the mat. If you take just one class and decide it’s not for you, you miss the experience of your body opening to this new practice over time. 

As a painter, I had a similar experience. It was in committing to enrolling in a painting class for a full semester that I was able to slowly find my way and realize that I wanted painting to be an ongoing part of my life.

Is this the day you will move from talk to action? 

If you have been struggling to get something underway, try the steps outlined above. You may want to ask someone to be an accountability partner for you — to work on the same initiative in tandem, or simply be there for you to check in with, so you can more easily get started and stay on track.

And if you want focused support — and accountability — to start and sustain your efforts to bring important change into your life, let’s make a date for a complimentary Live Big Breakthrough Call. I’ll be happy to help you gain insights and new perspectives, to help you see how you can move forward in your life in exciting ways. And, if we both think the fit is right, I can share the ways we might work together.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Have you thought about the choices you are making?

Welcome to October! I am feeling joy and gratitude when I am in the splendor of nature in all its glory. Color fills my view each time I step outside, and my heart swells!

This upbeat feeling is especially appreciated as the emotional intensity in the world around us seems to be escalating daily. How can we find, and hold, energy that lights us up, that keeps us grounded, rather than being pulled into the chaotic energy that abounds? 

Your choices impact your outlook

You see what you look for

Have you stopped to consider where you tend to put your attention? When you look for beauty (of any kind) you see more of it. And the more you look for, the more you see, the happier it makes you.

This works in much the same way when you choose to listen to uplifting stories or music, or choose to create meals with colors and aromas and flavors that especially delight you.

You can choose with whom to spend time

Think about the people you choose to be with and the kinds of conversations you choose to have. These choices have a huge impact on the way you feel and the way you see the world.

We all know people who bring us down. Their negativity can pull you in and be hard to shake. If someone like that is a family member with whom you want to be in contact, limit the exposure — or better yet, try and steer conversations in a positive direction.

Focus on connecting to people who lift you up. Who can you think of who sees the world as a place filled with inspiring stories and possibilities, even in hard times?

You can say “No” to news overload

Just as we can focus on interacting with people who lift our spirits and inspire a positive outlook, we can limit the time we spend listening to, watching and reading the news.

We can also carefully choose sources for news that are free of hype and bias. 

If you have not yet tried going on a “news diet” it may feel like a challenge. More and more people are finding this to be a great way to keep themselves positively focused.

You get to make new choices

Why not try some of these ideas and see what happens?

• If you have been cooped up inside, spend more time outside.

• If you have been feeling low, read something inspiring, watch a great TED talk, listen to a fascinating podcast, or dive into a creative project and express yourself.

• If online TV binges have made you feel sluggish, get curious about something new. Read about it, find demo videos, or give a new technique a try. (Maybe you will take up a new craft, cook a new cuisine, learn to build something, plant bulbs, study a period of history, pick up an instrument you haven’t touched in ages...)

• If you feel lonely or isolated, look for ways to make virtual connections or find like-minded communities of people online.

• If you are concerned about the election and the world around you, take action. You might volunteer for a campaign or to support voting rights. You can register to be on the next Creators of Change call. There are many incredible ways to get involved, rather than letting distress bring you down.

What choices will you make today? 

No matter the externalities, you always get to choose the way you see the world, and the way you can live through each day.

Making thoughtful choices aimed at supporting a positive frame of mind will impact everything in your life.

Leave a comment or email me and let me know how your choices are making a difference.

And if you want to talk about how to usher meaningful change into your life, we can make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I will help you gain clarity and insights about what is in the way of you stepping into the big life you yearn to make your reality.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you looking for inspiration and light?

Poster available from Society 6

If you are feeling deeply concerned, as I am, about the state of our nation and the world, you may be sad, anxious, discouraged or worse. You are not alone.

In my article and blog post last week, I wrote about choosing optimism, using the pain of a broken heart to fuel passion, how we have agency in our lives and can always take action, that we can create inspiration, and the power of both community and love are vast.

I needed to reread it today, and to think more about where inspiration and motivation for action can be found now.

Because when I feel so overwhelmed at the injustice around me and the horror of over 200,000 lives lost and countless lives impacted by COVID, and feel alarming concern that the fundamentals of our democracy are more at risk than ever, I need inspiration. I need to find ways to help myself, and to help others, from becoming gripped with fear.

My book, Live Big, has a chapter about how to live without fear. And I think it’s a good chapter. But the fear so many of us are living with now is of a different nature than what I wrote about — long before we found ourselves at this stunning moment in history.

Where I am turning for inspiration now

I am finding hope, strength and optimism from all that I am reading and hearing about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

This remarkable woman was a fearless and tireless advocate for what she believed in, and it’s because of her commitment to equality that we have rights many people don’t even know were not always available to us.

Here are just a few examples. 

Widowed men now get Social Security benefits accrued by their deceased wives to help them raise their children. Women can apply for and get credit cards and mortgages without a male co-signer, and can have credit cards and mortgages in their own names. Women in the military now get equal housing allowances to men.

And, I have learned, that her passionately written dissenting opinions over the years, later influenced positive legal changes. 

She brought her passion and brilliance to everything she did. She was committed to pursuing what she believed was right and just, and we are all the beneficiaries of her tireless work.

And, she famously had a close relationship with Antonin Scalia, with whom she sharply differed on many legal matters. This is something one can hardly imagine in today’s polarized atmosphere.

I am looking for the light and committed to being the light

There is always light to be found when we look for it. 

Where can you find inspiration and a positive way forward now?

And, we can each be the light. 

We can stay inspired, and we can stay in action — by speaking up about what matters to us, by helping people to vote, by helping to help elect candidates we believe will restore our country’s values, and by continuing to do our important work in the world. 

In all of these ways we are the light for others.

This may be the inspiration you need today

Paraphrasing something that is beautifully explained, I want to share this final insight with you.

You may have heard people say, when speaking about Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death, “May her memory be for blessing.” 

This does not mean “May we remember her fondly” or “May her memory be a blessing to us.” The blessing implied is this: may you be like Ruth. 

Jewish thought teaches that when a person dies, it is up to those who bear her memory to keep her goodness alive. We do this by remembering her, we do this by speaking her name, we do this by carrying on her legacy. We do this by continuing to pursue justice, righteousness, and sustainability. 

So, when you hear people say “May her memory be for blessing” don’t hear “It's nice to remember her.” Rather, hear “It’s up to us to carry on her legacy.”

May her memory be for blessing. 
May her memory be for revolution. 
May we become a credit to her name.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How we can move through this time of change

September is a time for new beginnings of all kinds. Even if you were not among those fortunate to have been able to get away this summer, or if life feels like a long string of similar days, there’s a shift that most of us feel after Labor Day.

Interconnected themes and inspiration have been showing up for me recently, that I am glad to share. 

7 things I am thinking about in this time of transition

1. We can choose optimism or pessimism. 

In his sermon on Rosh Hashana (the Jewish holiday to welcome the Jewish new year), our rabbi talked about optimism and pessimism. He pointed out that both can exist simultaneously, and that both can be motivators to take action. I would add that we always get to choose the frame for how we want to look at the world.

2. A broken heart can fuel passion. 

I heard the heartbreaking news about Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s death just after our Rosh Hashana evening service ended on Friday night. RBG was a giant of a woman who was fearlessly and passionately committed to work for equality and justice. We have the opportunity, and responsibility, to continue the work she advanced with so much grace, talent, tenacity and determination.

3. We have agency and we can take action. 

It’s easy to fall into despair when there are so many big issues on our minds. Regardless of the frame we chose as motivation (optimism or pessimism), when we think about what great people like Ruth Bader Ginsberg were able to accomplish, we can step up and take action to make this a better world. While few of us will have an opportunity like sitting on the Supreme Court, all of us can take action. History offers us many examples about how the combined efforts of great numbers of people have brought meaningful change to the world. 

4. When you look for it, you can find inspiration. 

I heard Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast with Sonya Renee Taylor yesterday, talking about the book The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. The conversation they had about this book was mind-expanding. Taylor takes the concept of self-love, that I teach in my work, to remarkable new heights. Opportunities to hear conversations like this can change the frame through which we see and understand the world, and ourselves. 

5. We can create inspiration. 

At my monthly IgNight Creative Evening on Thursday, when we created together on Zoom, the energy was electric. The theme for the evening was “reframing.” We expressed in words, we drew abstract concepts, and we dove into a great way to explore with color. We played and experimented. We shared and inspired one another. The uplifting spirit of the evening made me think about the opportunities we have to bring light and fun into many parts of our lives.

6. There is great power in community. 

The pandemic made it impossible to be with my community for services on Friday and Saturday. It made it impossible to be with family and friends after my mother’s death last month. It made it impossible to have IgNight in my studio. It has made it impossible to meet in person with colleagues and clients. And yet, we have been connected, and we’ve shared in community in new ways. And while some of what we miss when not in the same room is a loss, we have had new benefits. We can now connect with people who are located well beyond what would be possible in person. And the connections are deep and satisfying, even when we only see each other on a screen.

7. The power of love is vast.

Love is the thread that connects and inspires everything in my life. I believe that when we lead with love, when we look at the world through the lens of love, when we take action fueled by love, and when we bring love into everything we do, we live our biggest and best lives. 

How are you moving through this time of change?

What are you seeing and experiencing now? Are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic? Are you inspired to take action in your life? Are you motivated to impact something in the world? 

Drop me a note or leave a comment to let me know.

And if you want to talk about how to bring new inspiration into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. 

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about what may be hampering you or changes you are seeking to make, and how you can bring new inspiration and intentional change into your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Use these 3 steps to move from despair to inspiration

Have you stopped to consider that there is nearly always more than one way to look at things?

I have become even more alert to the possibilities of looking at things through a different lens recently, and it has shifted so much for me.

Examples of issues we can look at in new ways, that quickly come to mind, relate to many big tensions in the world around us.

The ongoing pandemic, the political climate as the election nears, deep concerns about environmental change as we see storms and fires fiercer than ever before, and a renewed focus on demanding the end to social and racial injustice are some of the big challenges.

For many people, the sense of overwhelm is huge. And it’s exhausting. 

It’s absolutely normal to feel concerned about such important matters, but there are options and opportunities to rise above the despair.

We get to chose the way we look at things,
and we can chose the way we respond

When we are able to stay calm and clear-headed, we think better. This allows us to stop being reactive. And from that calmer starting point, we can think positively.

We can make better decisions.

When we avoid spinning into despair, the choices we are able to make for what to do next can be more meaningful, and they can have more impact.

As a glass-half-full person, I realize I have an advantage. But anyone can decide to chose the lens through which to look at things.

Here is how you can make a positive shift.

1. Create the best environment for your wellbeing

We create our experiences, and we create our environment.

Things to delete

News cycles and social media feeds can be toxic. They are built to bombard us with sensationalized information and hype.

I am keen to be informed, but I (and many others) have found that going on a “news diet” has worked wonders. A check-in with a source you trust, once or twice a day, is more than enough to keep up with current happenings.

And, limiting social media “rabbit-hole” excursions not only keeps overwhelm down, it gives you the gift of precious time.

Consider, too, the conversations you choose to have. You can establish boundaries with those who focus only on the negative, or worse yet, rant.

Filter out stressful influences like these for a few days and see what happens.

Things to add

We find what we look for and and what we focus on. And, the universe connects us to where we bring our attention, as well.

Here’s a great example.

While writing this article, I took a short break and my husband mentioned that he’d just read a great opinion piece that he thought I would find interesting. (He had no idea that I was writing on this topic!) 

The remarkable New York Times opinion piece, titled, The Outrage Diet, is chock full of inspiring ideas about what to do to limit the impact of all of the fury that is damaging people’s health and wellbeing. 

You can also actively seek out uplifting people and resources. Who do you know who is always inspiring you, or impressing you with fresh and uplifting ideas? What podcasts or writers bring you positive and informative perspectives? 

Brené Brown’s books and her new podcast, Unlocking Us, and Krista Tippett’s On Being site and podcasts, come quickly to mind. I find myself grateful when I choose resources like these.

You may also want to change what you read and watch for entertainment. Choose what will fill you with uplifting energy and inspiration.

And, I always advocate for adding creativity into your life. The more creativity (of any kind) you engage in, the more easily you can bring creative thinking to everything you do.

Which leads to my next recommendation:

2. Reframe whenever possible

If you saw the email I sent on Sunday about my weekly Creators of Change calls, you saw that I shared a remarkable and inspiring reframe for how to view the current political climate, and how we can move forward.

I shared the work of Valerie Kaur, whose TED talk (and the quote I had pulled from it) shifted my view in a dramatic way.

Valerie Kaur’s take on the way we can see — and impact — the world reminded me of another example I heard from a great coach of mine, that goes like this.

If you entered a room and saw a woman in the late stages of labor, you might declare, “There’s a woman in crisis in here!” But if you knew it was a birthing room, you would say, “There’s a woman in labor here.” Same woman, same event, and a different way of relating to and thinking about what you were seeing.

We have many opportunities to reframe. When we consider what is possible, rather than focusing only on what is problematic, we open our minds. We can see positive perspectives and think about positive things to do, rather than feeling stuck in despair.

3. Take action and see things improve

Action is the step that takes you from the starting point of seeing through a new lens to great outcomes.

The New York Times Opinion piece I recommended is chock full of excellent examples of action you can take when you feel overcome by outrage or despair.

Finding action to take to address a concern or improve a troubling situation — even in a small way — is empowering. 

The action can be to dive in and learn more, to reach out to someone, to make a donation, to start a new conversation, to share your ideas (like writing an opinion piece or blog post), and more. Commitment to making things better starts with one small action, and then staying in action.

I also recommend you check out this excellent article, that’s filled with creative ideas for how we can educate high school students in the age of COVID. This is an example of looking at an urgent issue through a new lens. And by adding creative thinking, and suggesting new action, the author has not only enriched us with his great ideas, he may positively impact the lives of vast numbers of students and teachers.

How will you see new possibilities?

What one small change can you make today to create a more positive environment and start seeing challenges in a new light? How can you bring fresh, creative thinking to something on your mind? What action can you take?

If you want to talk about how to bring these suggestions into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can live a more empowered life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Curious about how core values can help you live big?

It won’t surprise you that I have been thinking a lot about my mother, who died on August 21. (If you missed what I wrote about her last week, treat yourself to some inspiration.)

In my reflections, I have been thinking about the core values in her life, that informed the remarkable imprint she left on everyone who knew her.

Core values are front of mind for me these days. In the work I am doing with a group of remarkable women, I am helping each to go through a process of identifying her core values.

Why?

I believe we benefit enormously when we are clear about our guiding principles. We see ourselves with more clarity and insight. We can not only live with more integrity, we can more easily make decisions and choices that are right for us. And we are better able to create futures that align with who we truly are.

What can core values look like?

My mother’s core values, as I saw them, included:

• creating and elevating beauty in all she did, and inspiring others to see and create beauty

• creativity — she was a fantastic artist and her cooking was legendary 

• love — of family and friends, and she created meaningful new relationships with ease

• hospitality — closely related to love, hosting special gatherings gave her great joy

• striving for perfection — sometimes to an extreme

• justice — she believed in the rights of all people to be treated fairly and afforded opportunity

My mother rarely wavered. She was clear about all she believed in. These values guided her each day of her life.

How do a parent’s values influence you?

As my mother’s daughter, all of her values influenced my life.

Like most children, it was natural for me to try and model myself after my mother. This was mostly for the good. I adopted her love of beauty, I actively strive for social justice, and I love deeply. In time, I became an artist.

But occasionally, as in the case of her focus on perfectionism, the influence was not so positive. It has taken me years to be able to aim for excellence without pushing myself to the impossible extreme of perfectionism.

Can you see yourself through the lens of core values?

As we each grow and evolve through life, we become unique individuals. My list of core values has some overlaps with those I see as my mother’s, but it is unique to me. 

My list begins with love. Love is closely followed by creativity that's paired with curiosity. (Following my curiosity has helped to free me from the perfectionism that hampered me for many decades.)

Happiness, joy and gratitude are core for me. My love of beauty came directly from my mother. Exploration — of ideas and new places — is also on my list. 

Leadership paired with vision; justice paired with tolerance; generativity; and accountability paired with resourcefulness round out my list of values.

What about your values?

Have you thought about the values that guide you? If not, I recommend that you set aside some time to think about them, and identify your short list of what is truly central to the way you live.

Of course there are many attributes that matter to all of us. The challenge is to think of those that are most true, through and through, for you.

For instance, there may be lots of things that are important to you, like honesty, or boldness, dependability, honor, grace, success, uniqueness, patriotism, fidelity, piety, diligence, or security — to randomly name a few possibilities. 

When you think about things that ring true, consider if they are core values for you — if they always guide you. You can consider paired values, or related attributes, as I have in my short list above, as you get to your focused list.

And while you might want to think about where your core values originated, be certain all that you claim are yours! Remove anything on your list that’s imposed, or expected of you by others.

Aim to narrow your list to 6 to 8 core values.

How to use your list.

With your core values in hand, you have the opportunity to think about how you want to live into them.

Are there some values you want to expand, or go deeper with? For me, the realization that I had a long-held deep desire to explore more creative expression, but had allowed fear to limit me for so much of my life, finally supported me to enroll in a painting course. When I stopped stifling a core part of myself, and stepped into being an artist, my life changed in ways I never imagined would be so satisfying.

And remember that there are seasons in life when you can bring more focus to some of your values than had been possible at other times. Perhaps you will explore ways to expand the role of a key value as your life circumstances change.

Can you start to see new possibilities for yourself? Are there new ways to live your core values now, and new ways be bring them into your vision for the future, so you will live your biggest, best life?

Where will your core values take you?

Turning your attention to identifying your core values might feel like another “to-do” you don’t have time for. I get it. Life can be hectic.

And, your life can be enriched by creating space to consider what your core values are, and when you use them as a reference.

Making life decisions that are fully aligned with your values is very empowering. You are likely to feel clearer and bolder about your decisions when you have that resource to refer to.

If you would like to talk about core values and how they can help you move beyond what limits you into a future that will light you up, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can be a powerful creator in your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

My mother’s lessons for all of us

If you read the email I sent to my subscribers last week, you know that I lost my mother, Doris Berenholz, on August 21.

While this has been a very hard and very sad week, it has also been eye opening in many ways.

I was enormously fortunate to have had my mother in my life for over 6 decades. She was 91 years old, and lived a full and rich life. And I am deeply grateful that my father is not only alive, but in good health. Not many people are so fortunate.

And, as much as I thought I knew what this week would bring, and thought that I knew my parents, I have learned so much that has deeply touched me.

Unexpected surprises

Because of COVID, we had a very small graveside funeral for my mother. As much as I missed being with more family and friends, the beautiful intimacy at the service, and in our time spent that afternoon in my sister's magical garden, was truly special. Dear cousins flew and drove to be with us, as did my son and his wife, despite the challenges of travel. And while we could not embrace, we held each other close in our hearts in a way that was remarkable. I hope that my mother's spirit could sense the love we all have for her, and the bonds of love between us.

I am a big believe in the power of love, but even I never expected it to be so palpably felt in this circumstance.

Also because of COVID, we were not able to welcome friends for shiva during the week. Zoom shivas have been going on for months, but this was the first time I was a mourner in such circumstances.

And there were gifts.

We were “with” family and friends from all over the world. That would never have been possible in “normal” times.

I was also able to see and hear from people who loved my mother, who I did not know, or had not seen in decades. One by one, they shared their remembrances of her — much of which I would likely have missed in a crowded room.

We leave a bigger legacy than we know

The most wonderful — and eye-opening — thing that happened, amidst the grief, was hearing so much, from so many people, about how my mother impacted their lives.

My mother touched people in so many lasting ways that I had never realized.

And much of what I did know and appreciate about her was described in ways that expanded and magnified the significance of her gifts.

Her generosity and her facility at starting — and maintaining — friendships was recounted in stories and with details I’d never heard.

She taught so many people meaningful things about cooking, art, and the ways that beauty enriches your life, that have impacted people’s entire lives. And her 70-year love affair with my father was noted as being a model for several marriages.

My mother helped people with advice about great ways to make their kitchens more efficient. She arranged people’s bookshelves with such beauty that they learned how to do the same elsewhere. She even sketched a guest house for cousins in France, that was built just as she drew it! She planned the interior, too, and that has made it a special, cherished place.

More than a few friends of mine and my sisters said they had always wanted to be the “the fourth Berenholz daughter” and live with my family. My mother was the person a number of teenage girls came to when they felt misunderstood by their parents. They also talked about all they learned from her, about art, food,  and surrounding yourself with beauty. One became an artist after my mother gave her an easel and oil paints. (All three of Mom’s daughters are artists, too.)

Girl Scouts from the troop she led in the 60’s talked about and sent us notes filled with stories. Her hikes and camping trips and love of nature, the work she had us do with orphans and foster children, and the ways she inspired each of them to follow their paths, changed their lives. She was less interested in having her scouts work toward merit badges; she cared about so much more than that.

What we can all learn from my mother

I do not think my mother had any idea of what an enormous legacy she left in the world. She was simply focused on all that she cared about: people, relationships, art, music, beauty, fine cooking, hospitality, nature, travel, social justice, and love.

The inspiration we can all take from her is to live a life that is true to who we are, and to savor each day. To share all of our gifts, and share them with a full heart. To love, and love more.

If we emulate her, when our time comes to an end, people will pour out stories about how we enriched their lives.

The ripple effect of a life well-lived, a life of love and generosity, is incalculable.

I am so grateful for all she taught me, and all the love she spread in the world.

What’s the legacy you want to create?

I can see how my mother’s influence played a huge role in bringing me to the woman I am today, doing the work I do in the world. I will be reflecting on this even more deeply in the days and weeks ahead.

If my mother’s story has prompted you to think more deeply about the life you want to life, and the legacy you want to leave, I invite you to spend some quiet time writing and exploring what emerges.

And if you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and how to get there, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be honored to help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, the changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.