Is it time to take the wheel in your life?

Most of us do not consider that every morning we have the opportunity to intentionally set our course.

We typically wake up and move through the day focused on set routines and the demands that are in front of us — emails, texts, deadlines to meet, other peoples’ agendas.

We aim to make it through the hectic day so we can wind down in the evening and go to bed — to start all over again tomorrow.

Even those of us who build in exercise, who take care to eat healthy foods, who make time to connect to important people in our lives, often live on auto-pilot.

Few people step back and consider the big picture.

Few ask questions like:

“What do I value?”
“What do I really want?”
“Where do I want to be, and what do I want to be doing at this time next year?”

And without answers to those questions, they fail to set a clear course to a destination that aligns to their values and desires, and that will lead to the richest life they can live.

Without a clear destination you can’t set a course

Most of us drift. We are not lazy, but we move through days, weeks and months and even years without considering where we want our lives to take us.

Is it easy to drift? Sure.

Is drifting the path to a life that is fully satisfying? Rarely.

Are you ready to set a course and take the wheel?

Maybe you’re feeling a wake-up call to pay attention, make decisions, and start to live with more clarity and intention.

But even those who have been feeling an urge for some time to figure out what’s next, or make a change in their lives they know they want, can feel unsure about how to start to approach decisions about big life matters.

Ask yourself these 3 questions to get started

1. Who do I need to BE to live my best life?

Everything we want for ourselves — great relationships, work that lights us up, making an impact on the world around us, creating in ways we love, and more — starts with our state of being, how we show up in the world.

Ask yourself who you need to BE to live the life you yearn for. Do you need to be more patient, more self-loving, bolder, less fearful? Do you need to slow down and be more thoughtful rather than reacting all the time?

Do some writing to explore the ways you want to show up in your life, and how you can begin to cultivate those ways of being.

2. What do I long to DO, and what do I want to HAVE in my life?

With clarity about who you want to BE to live your best life, think about the things you want to DO. Sit and write a list of 10 things or more that you want to do in the next year.

Do you want to change jobs? Plant a garden? Travel to a specific destination? Declutter and beautiful your home? Adopt a pet?

Next, think about what you want to have. You may long for tangible things, like a home in a beautiful setting or a new car, or intangible things like peace of mind or more time to read. Write down as many things as you like that you want to have this year.

3. What can my dream life look and feel like a year from now?

I am a big believer in the power of envisioning what you want. The more vivid you can make the vision look and feel, the easier it is to begin to live it.

So, sit down and write yourself a letter.

Write the letter to yourself today, from you a year from now.

Let your future-self tell you all of the great things you have done in the year. And, tell yourself how you did them all!

Describe the courage you mustered to make great decisions. Describe the wonderful changes and experiences you have had. Tell the you of today how proud you are of the person you became to make it all happen!

After you’ve written and reread your letter, put it where you can pull it out each month to read again. Add a note to your calendar for the first day of each month to remind you to read it.

Each time you read the letter you can consider how your are showing up in your life now, and what you are doing to move forward on the path you envisioned.

Get up to speed and then move onto the highway

Making significant change in your life is not a quick process that you tackle in a day nor is your ideal life a destination you arrive at after one quick ride.

True transformation takes time. It means starting with small, focused steps that prepare you to take bigger steps. These ultimately lead to the big outcomes you want.

Start gently and don’t give up. Keep momentum building — keep moving forward on your journey. That’s how you will confidently take the wheel and accelerate the process as you move ahead.

If you are committed to making meaningful change in your life — to creating the life you truly desire — and you want support to do it, we can talk. Click here to book a call with me.
I know that I would not be living the big life I love without help!

Tell me what you dream of and what’s in the way. I’ll give you new insights and perspectives.

And we can explore the possibility for you to join my Live Big Live! retreat, to step into BIG creation of your best life with an amazing group of other women who are ready to step into the lives they long for and deserve.

The next retreat starts soon, and there are only a few spots open, so schedule your Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon.

Of course, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine — and I may have something else to offer you that can help.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The way to stay motivated that most of us miss out on

If you are like so many of my clients (and like I used to be, too), you rarely stop to acknowledge yourself for small accomplishments.

We are busy and have a lot to get done. Many of the things we’re focused on are ambitious — projects that cannot be tackled in a sitting or two.

Projects at work can entail many steps and stages to complete. If you own a business, marketing tasks can feel never-ending. If there's a change you are making in your home, or you are committed to a project like writing a book or mastering a new skill, it may take months or even years to bring them to conclusion.

Things we quickly complete and check off on a to-do list feel satisfying, but as we work away on the bigger projects, it’s easy to feel discouraged.

That’s when things can stall out.

We can easily get down on ourselves. And when that happens it takes lots of energy to get back on track.

All of this is draining — and it can be avoided.

There are 3 great ways to avoid these pitfalls — and the last one is my favorite

Here are sure-fire ways to stay committed and motivated, no matter what you are trying to accomplish.

First, focus on what matters most

I often remind my clients that we all have limited time, attention and energy each day, so it’s important to carefully consider how to use all three.

Set your sights on what is really important. There are always urgent things to deal with, but few of them are really important. It’s the important but not urgent things we need to devote our time, attention and energy to with care.

Think about how you can delegate, defer, or even drop some of the urgent-but-not-important things. Then choose times on your calendar to batch your efforts for those that are left, so they don’t create attentional clutter or distract you.

This frees you for focused time — choose the time of day that’s most productive for you — to attend to what is really important.

Next break down bigger projects into tiny chunks

Accomplished people are especially prone to setting big goals. And doing that is a trap.

When you schedule smaller, doable pieces of your bigger goals, you give yourself a gift. These smaller tasks are easier to complete, and can be done in smaller amounts of time. Thus you get the satisfaction of completing things, and you get that satisfaction often.

This is good for your brain and good for your spirit!

It may feel challenging at first to embrace the idea that setting your sights on small steps will be meaningful and worthy. I urge you to try it. When you begin to experience the benefits, this new approach will be a game-changer.

This is the icing on the cake: acknowledge yourself and celebrate

This last step is the one we skip all the time, even when we complete big projects. Some of us skip it because we minimize the importance of what we have just completed. Some of us simply rush on to attend to the next thing (big or small).

When we fail to pause and acknowledge ourselves for everything we accomplish, we miss something big. And skipping past the small things is the most common oversight.

We miss giving ourselves the gift of self-appreciation.

Sure, it's great to get kudos from others. But we all deserve to acknowledge ourselves — and celebrate our accomplishments — when we complete things we’ve put effort into.

So, if you’ve taken a small first step — perhaps you’ve written the first draft of the copy for the home page of your website (not all the site copy), or you listed people to reach out to for input on a project (not made all of the calls), or you created a healthy meal plan for the week (not already done all the shopping and cooking) — it’s a perfect time to acknowledge yourself for completing a small and meaningful task.

One of my coaches calls these “Yay Me” moments, and I have my clients share their “Yay Me’s” regularly.

For me, witnessing “Yay Me” moments is almost magical. When you see someone who pauses to acknowledge herself with true pride for something small, it is amazing.

So, right this minute, can you give yourself a “Yay Me” for something small? (And if there’s a “Yay Me” for something big, by all means do that, too!)

For extra credit, can you share your “Yay Me” with someone?

I would love to hear your “Yay Me”!

Leave a comment or email me and let me know what came to mind for you to appreciate in this way. And let me know how it felt to savor and celebrate it.

I want to celebrate with you!

And if there are big questions or challenges that hamper you from making an important move forward in your life, and you want to find a guide to help you, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create.

I promise our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives. Perhaps I can help you create the life you want and deserve — and, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How this important week can impact your life

This is a momentous week. We started by celebrating Martin Luther King Jr., whose life and legacy have inspired us for decades.

Dr. King led bravely and he inspired us to dream — to dream of a time when there would be justice and equality for all people in this nation.

He famously said that the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.

We have been living through a time when the bend of the arc toward justice has been tested in terrible ways. I am grateful that we are moving toward justice in a significant way this week, even as we know there is still enormous important work to be done.

It feels to me that we are on the precipice of a new beginning as a nation.

We are ushering in new leadership that is committed to moving us all forward — beyond divisions, robustly addressing the devastating pandemic and the restoration of our economy, forging ahead to tackle climate change and make big headway toward righting racial injustice, and so much more.

This is the time we can all dream of a brighter future, and all contribute to making that future a reality.

Each of us can dream — dream about the biggest, best ways to show up in our lives, and to bring all of our gifts into the world.

When we allow ourselves to dream big, and when we then each bring commitment to doing our work in the best ways possible, that great work — whatever it is — contributes to creating a better world.

What is your dream?

What do you long to do, and to have? How do you want to grow and expand? What will it take for your dreams to become your reality?

Start by considering who you need to BE in your life for your dreams to be realized.

Do you need to be bolder? Do you need to attend to your self-care to be strong and healthy and rested enough to do your genius work?

Do you need to create quiet, so you are not distracted and hectic all the time?

Do you need to believe in your gifts and build confidence?

Do you need to be more decisive? Do you need to set healthy boundaries? Do you need to have courageous conversations?

The foundation for realizing your dreams begins with considering who you need to BE each day, how you want to show up in the world.

Begin to step into the person you want to be

Start with awareness as you move through your days.

Check in with yourself to notice when you are on auot-pilot (such as pulling back from opportunities, or packing too many things into an already-crammed schedule, or snapping at people you love).

Layer on belief

Start with belief in yourself, that it is possible for you to make these changes. Make a practice of journaling, or meditation, or creating a mantra to repeat, or whatever will help you build the belief that you can make these changes.

Next add commitment

Commit to being self-aware and to actually shifting into the new ways of being that you are focused on. Think about where and when you most need to show up in this new way. It may be at work, or with family, or the way you write your marketing materials, or develop your skills. Make reminders for yourself. (I recommend making colorful post-it note reminders for yourself and placing them around your house where you will see them often.)

Get help if you need a guide

Hire a coach, join a coaching program, or ask a close friend to be your accountability partner as you build the new “muscles” — of confidence, boldness, decisiveness, slowing down, or whatever other ways you determined you want to BE in your life, so that you can create the reality you dream of.

You don’t have to do this alone! And getting help will not only accelerate the pace of bringing your dreams into reality, it will ease the process.

This is the perfect time for you to make your dreams real!

Latch on to the positive, hopeful energy around you.

Say “No” to fear or doubt if those feelings show up.

Let love — for yourself and for the world — fuel your efforts. Aim to say yes to love — to love for yourself, and love for everyone around you.

To quote Dr. King:
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.

Today is the day to begin! Today is the day you can be the light, powered by love, to be the person who will make her dreams her reality, and thereby make the world a better place.

As you begin, and as you stay committed to the process, you will be a part of a huge force for good, for expansion, and for building a beautiful future for people everywhere.

I look forward to hearing from you if you want to talk about creating the life you dream of. Hit reply and we’ll make a date.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to be resilient now

When I wrote to you last week, 2021 felt like it was off to a fresh, clean, promising start.

And then our nation was rocked by an event that has been deeply disturbing — and is a true wake-up call.

The message for me is that we cannot take this democracy for granted. There has been clear evidence of deep problems for years. And while it’s hard to impact change as individuals, we can come together and collectively support real change — which, happily, we we saw happen at the ballot box in November, and for those in Georgia, last week.

I know we are politically divided. But I believe that there are many people who did not support the president-elect with their votes who also want to see the restoration of a peaceful democracy, with respect for our Constitution and laws.

When we come together we have the ability to influence the future of this country.

It starts with each of us

How do we each show up in our lives and in the world?

How do we live with integrity each day?

And how do we move forward after we have been deeply shocked and scared?

We have an invitation to think about these questions now.

How are you showing up each day?

Are you clear about who you are, your values, what you stand for?

Do you live by those values each day?

Few of us are very clear about knowing ourselves, and few have focused on identifying the values that are most important to us.

Many of us are people-pleasers, and thus do not stand up for what matters to us.

Or we put ourselves last, always focused on caring for those around us.

Or we want to speak up, but don’t have the courage to speak our truth.

Or we do not believe in our abilities to do things that truly are within our reach — if only we stretched a bit outside of our comfort zone.

Are you living in integrity day by day?

Even when we do have clarity about ourselves and our values, few of us are able to fully live in integrity with what we care about.

It takes courage and conviction to show up each day, at work, with our families and friends, and stand in our personal power.

We have all heard people say things that we feel are not right, or are unfair, misguided, or false. Or we’ve been asked to accept or follow directions that are out of alignment with our integrity. In circumstances such as these, the challenge is to find the words or take action to offer another point of view, or advocate for another path forward, or defend the truth as we perceive it.

It takes courage and conviction, and many of us struggle to find the words or take the actions to consistently live in integrity.

How are you moving forward now?

Whether or not the events on the national level are top of mind for you, or if personal concerns are looming large, we all need to find ways to move forward with purpose when things get tough.

At times like these we need to be resilient.

And over time, we are frequently called on to be resilient.

Try asking yourself these questions:

1. Consider times in your past when you needed to be resilient. What did you do? What allowed you to find that strength? Now that time has passed and you look back, what might you do differently today?

2. Where are there opportunities for you to create steps to move forward, rather than reacting to the challenge that’s troubling you?

3. Can you slow down, get present, and consider lots of possible options — so you can choose what next best step to take?

4. Can you reach out for help or support?

5. Can you ask yourself this question: If I were not afraid, what would I do?

When you consider these questions you will find meaningful insights, and resilience will come more easily.

These times call for more of us to live big

I invite you to spend some time with the ideas and the questions I shared above.

When you devote time to careful consideration about yourself and devising new ways to move forward, you are opening the door to living more intentionally — living your values, bringing resiliency to challenges, and having more agency in your life.

These are foundations of living big.

And when we each strive to live big, we impact not only our individual lives, but the lives of those in our families, our communities, our country and the world.

My mission is to help people live big

If you want to explore the ways you can live your biggest and best life, let’s have a conversation. Here’s what to do to take me up on my invitation.

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call and we will explore what limits you now and what’s possible for you to create — to make the future you desire a reality.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

3 life-changing questions to ask now

We are about to say good-bye to 2020.

As eager as we all are to move ahead and leave this challenging year behind, let’s not rush. We have an important opportunity to reflect on 2020 before the turn of the calendar.

After all, when we fail to look back at what we can learn, we lose the opportunity for precious insights that can support us in the future.

Three great questions to ask yourself now

1. What are you proud of?

Acknowledging ourselves is really important — something many of us never do. We need to celebrate things we have accomplished, our resilience in the face of difficulties, ways we have grown over time, and good that we have done.

Spend some time reflecting and writing down all the things this year for which you are proud when you look back at 2020. And don’t skip the small stuff — it all counts!

When you have your list, savor it all. Hold that goodness in your heart and own the pride.

2. What can you let go of?

We all carry limiting stories, grievances, self-critical thinking, resentment, fears, and more that limit us. This is a perfect time to think about what you want to leave behind in 2020.

Write down all the things you want to let go of.

You may see that some things on your list can be easier to stop, while others may be entrenched and hard to let go of. That’s ok.

This is an exercise in awareness. Without awareness, we drift. And when we drift we fail to address changes we want to make.

You can make a note of the items you believe will be fairly easy to drop and put the list where you will see it each day. If you can catch yourself holding onto or returning to any of the items, you’ll have a ready reminder to try and let go.

For the more challenging things you want to drop, you might start a journal and dive into exploring their hold on you, as well as ways you might begin to let go of them, bit by bit.

3. What is your vision for 2021?

Rather than starting the new year as if it’s just another day, this is a perfect time to set a vivid vision for your new year.

I am not talking about making a resolution to exercise more, or stop a bad habit.

Think bigger.

Connect to what your heart desires.

What do you want to create next year?
How do you want to live big?

What are you excited to explore, to test, to step into, to go after?

When we set a vision we bring focus to our lives. And what we focus on is what we get.

It’s not about magical thinking.

Rather, it’s about setting clear intentions and staying committed to the vision — even when that means we need to expand to do new things that are not in our comfort zone.

Give yourself a gift as the year ends

Whether you were showered with gifts during the holidays or not, the gift I am recommending is different.

A magnificent gift you can bestow on yourself now is the gift of time.

Devote some precious time to reflecting on all that you can celebrate as you moved through what was a uniquely difficult year. Move on to considering what you decided you want to leave behind as you turn the corner to a new year. And savor the vision for what you want for yourself in 2021.

And if you are unsure about your vision for 2021, you may want to join me to create a vision board — this is another wonderful gift you can bestow on yourself.

I am excited to lead my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop online, on Sunday, January 17.

No matter where you live, you can join me for a powerful and meaningful experience that will bring you clarity and inspiration for the year you want to create in 2021. Registration is open now!

Wishing you an abundant new year filled with health, joy, love, peace, and all good things.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The perfect week for combining love + creativity

Here we are — the big holiday week of the year has arrived, and it’s also the week we celebrate the Winter Solstice.

As I do not celebrate Christmas, I enjoy seeing the pleasure so many friends experience on this holiday. And I am always glad to rejoice in celebrating the Solstice. While December 21st was the shortest, darkest day of the year, we now begin to enjoy a bit more daylight each day. This always lifts my spirits as we move into a new year.

And what a year this has been. I feel confident saying this is a year we will all remember, and we are all ready to bid adieu.

Now, more than any year in memory, we all need an abundance of light and love!

Make this a week to slow down, relax, and consciously welcome love

Even though we cannot be with friends and family in person as we long to, there are many ways to create connection and share love.

We must be extra-careful to stay safe and keep others safe. But that does not mean we need to feel apart in our hearts.

What new ways of connecting can you create now, that will hold meaning for you and those about whom you care?

While many of us feel “zoomed out” by work meetings, Zoom has proven to be a great way to share a meal, play a game, meet with family members at great distances to laugh together, and do creative projects (from my now-virtual monthly IgNight Creative Evenings to my weekly art-making dates with my grandson).

There are countless ways to create meaningful and memorable connections.

No matter what is happening around us and for us, we always have the power to create

Some of us have moved through the months of the pandemic with more ease than others. Many have suffered terribly. We have all been challenged — and changed.

And, as always, some people in similar situations fair better than others. Those that do best are those who are able to find the most positive frame of mind and the most positive path to pursue.

This is what I call creating our way forward

When things get tough, a creator looks for possibilities that are not obvious.

A creator considers new ways of responding. This can mean new ways of getting support, or new ways of coping with stress — whether it’s through creative expression, by reaching out, by ramping up self-care, by getting out in nature, or anything else. By choosing to create each next step with intention, rather than reacting, amazing things are possible.

A creator tries and tests new approaches. It might be for managing day-to-day life, for running a business or bringing in new streams of income, for setting up ways family members can all cohabit and do their work and learning, or anything else.

A creator keeps an open mind and stays curious. When you ask yourself, “What’s possible?” you are always considering how to find the best path forward.

A creator also looks for wonder and tunes in to gratitude every day.

Approaching your life this way keeps the heart open. When you combine an open heart and an open mind new possibilities show up.

Love + Creativity make a powerful combination

I invite you to bring love and light into your life in as many ways as you can dream up.

All that dreaming is connected to your creative power. You have a bottomless well of creativity. You cannot run out of it, so use it with abandon!

When you are focused on love, and you create with intention, fear stays at bay and joy increases. And who doesn’t want a tremendously joy-filled holiday season?

Start now, and it will be easy to carry this beautiful energy into the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Where are you headed and who do you want to be?

Are you tired?

Do you drive yourself, always doing, and rarely allowing space for considering how you want to BE in your life?

Do you live without considering what really matters to you, or how you want to feel each day?

Do you have a compass set for where you’re headed in your life, or are you drifting?

These are all themes that came up on Sunday, when I had the great pleasure to co-lead a virtual Vision Board Party, attended by 50 people from all over the world, with my long-time mentor and colleague, Peleg Top.

After years of leading my powerful vision board workshops in person in Boston, this was a new experience for me. I had no idea what it would be like in the Zoom environment.

In short, it was a fabulous afternoon.

Seeing what happened for everyone in the space we created, guiding them to move through a process that got everyone focused, clear and energized, and then hearing the insights shared by so many, was remarkable.

For many participants, this was their first experience creating a vision board. Others found the process helped them go much deeper than when they had made a vision board in the past. And creating in a community was something new for lots of the attendees.

It was gratifying to hear tremendous appreciation for the new foundation they created for their lives, and hear their enthusiasm for moving into the new year with so much clarity.

Are you looking ahead?

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, especially as the holiday season is upon us, the end of the year is nearing, and we are all coping with the challenges of living through the pandemic.

When we do not pause and find quiet, and make space for ourselves to consider what we want to create in our lives, we miss the opportunity to be intentional about how we live.

My invitation to you is to slow down and look ahead.

Think about what you can create to make this season one of meaning and joy, in spite of the need to be socially distanced. How can you create connection, happiness and love in new and special ways?

And while you are in that thoughtful mode, consider who you want to BE in the new year, and what you want to do and have.

Even if you don’t create a vision board, create a vision.

See that vision in your mind’s eye. Savor it. Write about it in your journal.

But don’t stop there.

Think about one step you can take now, one small new way of showing up or taking action, that will help you step into this season and the year ahead as the person you want to BE.

Let’s look ahead together.

I will be a featured speaker on the Anchoring the Consciousness of Oneness World Summit, that is focused on the concept of “oneness” in mind, body and spirit. I am honored to be a part of this special program, and eager to be a participant, too, so I can learn from many other great teachers.

The Summit runs December 21 to 27. By registering you can access the content through April 2021.

And because people who did not make it to the Vision Board Party on Sunday have been asking, I am planning to offer another virtual Vision Board Experience soon. Stay tuned to hear about the date and how to register.

To take a bigger step into your ideal future, let’s talk.

If you want to make a bigger commitment to yourself and your future, Live Big Live! may be an ideal opportunity. We just launched, but 2 more women can still join this powerful program and not miss a beat.

Check out what the first group had to say about their experience. If you want to hear more, let’s have a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the fit for you — now, or when Live Big Live! starts again in March.

Stay safe and well, and stay creative.

Is it time to turn things around?

It’s already mid-December. I can’t figure out how it snuck up on me so fast!

As we near the end of this intense and challenging year, I am reflecting on the months behind me, and looking ahead at a new year just around the corner.

No matter how this year has unfolded, we have the opportunity to reflect and learn from how we navigated the last months, and consider what we want to create in our lives going forward.

What I see when I look back.

There’s been a lot of opportunity for which I am grateful, and affirmation that I was able to move forward even when unexpected challenges showed up.

In January I launched my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life. My plans for doing bookstore readings and speaking certainly did not materialize as I expected! But I found new ways to spread the word, speaking virtually, reaching out to do podcast interviews, and more.

While different than I had planned, new approaches were not only effective, but enjoyable. And virtual events enabled me to make excellent distant connections.

My painting class at SMFA went virtual in March. By staying committed, even on Zoom I was able to learn, and my work has progressed in ways I was not sure would be possible.

While clients were in a state of suspended animation in the early spring, by May I was supporting new clients who decided there was no time like the present to take charge of their lives and create their futures.

I also used this time to create a new program, Live Big Live! to support the accomplished women I love to coach. This exciting experience proved to be remarkable, and I am thrilled to be offering it again.

While unable to be with my children and grandchildren as usual, we were able to quarantine and briefly be together a few times, and we have a new Facetime ritual that is very special. Zoom calls with extended family have also been a gift that keeps us connected over the miles.

And even having suffered a terrible loss when my mother died this summer, I am moving through the grief with the comfort of feeling her presence in my life in new ways. My connection with my father is richer than ever, too.

I certainly long for life as it was before the pandemic, but I am deeply grateful for all the ways I was able to be resilient.

What lessons are there for you?

When you look back at the last months, what do you observe? Was there struggle? Were you able to create new ways to cope and thrive? There may well have been ups and downs.

Whether the year has had a lot of challenges or went well, can you look back now and glean insights? Can those insights help you move into 2021 with more resourcefulness and agency?

There’s no time like the present to start living big!

While we can learn from the past, dwelling on the past is counterproductive. We can only move forward, and there is always opportunity to create in new ways. Our future is created by us — when we take action, and also when we choose to do nothing.

If you choose to act, rather than live with the consequences of drifting, I am happy to share several good opportunities.

I am excited to be joining my long-time coach and colleague, Peleg Top, to lead a virtual Vision Board Party on Sunday, December 13. Register to join us to get clear about your vision for the new year and make a fabulous vision board to inspire you! (All proceeds are being donated to charity.)

I will also be a featured speaker on the Anchoring the Consciousness of Oneness World Summit, that is focused on the concept of “oneness” in mind, body and spirit. The Summit runs December 21 to 27, and by registering you can access the content through April 2021.

And, you can make a bigger commitment to yourself and your future, by taking a deep dive with me and a remarkable group of women to create a clear vision for your 2021, and dynamically creating that future. The next Live Big Live! — my new signature program — is about to begin. Check out what the first group had to say about their experience.

If you want to hear more, let’s have a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the fit for you. I’ll be glad to help you gain perspective about what’s limiting you now, and what’s possible in your life, to see your path to living the life you yearn for. (Book with me today, as we're embarking soon!)

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Now is the time to shape your vision. Here’s how.

It’s easy — and comfortable — to focus only on the day-today, where you are now. When you keep doing the things that come easily, things you do out of habit, and living the way you’re used to, on and on without question, you cheat yourself.

When you never sit back and take a long view you fail to consider big questions and new possibilities.

What you do now matters in the long term!

Because when you live without pausing to consider what you really want, and what it will take to shift to make that desire our reality, you stay stuck where you are.

After all, when you keep doing things the same way, you are sure to get the same results.

It may feel challenging to get your head around asking big questions about the life you want to live, and what changes may be needed to make it a reality.

Why not set aside a few minutes to get clear? My 6-part framework is a great way to approach the process.

Look ahead and consider 6 key domains of your life

Sit back in a quiet spot and get comfortable. Have a notebook handy, and maybe a cup of tea.

Close your eyes and think about your life a few months from now, and a year from now. Ask yourself what you want that life to look like. What can you envision that connects to the desires in your heart?

Think about your work

Do you want to make changes — either in the kind of work you do, where you do it, the level you yearn to reach, or who you want to work with each day? Do you want your work to have a bigger impact, or a new focus?

Think about your relationships

Are there any relationships in your life that you realize your are tolerating, that you want to change, or maybe end? Are there some relationships you miss and want to add? Are there some you want to focus on and improve? Are there some wonderful relationships that you want to make a bigger part of your day-to-day life?

Think about your environment

Consider your living space and your work space. Does your environment support your well-being? Are there pockets of clutter around you that sap your energy? Is your environment calm, does it function well, is it a pleasure to live in? Do you have adequate comfort? Do you have access to nature, if that matters to you? What would make your environment more supportive of your day-to-day happiness?

Think about your physical and emotional well-being

Are you eating well? Are you getting enough regular exercise? Do you move in ways that make you happy, or do you want to switch things up? How is the quality of your sleep? Do you get enough rest each day? Are you irritable or content?

Think about your spirit

Does your spirit soar, or do you feel discontent or restless? Do you have a spiritual practice, or wish for a more satisfying one? Do you feel connected to your purpose? Do you trust and believe in yourself? Do you feel inspired and hopeful?

Think about the legacy you want to leave

Have you paused to think about your legacy? What are you doing now that will leave a mark that matters to you — be it with those closest to you, or that will impact your community, or maybe the world? What can you bring into your life, or make a focus, that will leave a meaningful legacy?

After spending time with these questions, you may have a few notes or pages of thoughts!

Consider what showed up in your notes

Do you realize that you want to step into a bigger, clearer, more intentional life? Do you envision being on a path to a life that will light you up in bigger ways?

The vision for your future might be focused on your work, on more personal expression, on the quality of your relationships, or a combination of factors that will bring you joy and satisfaction.

Savor the images that light up your heart. Sit with them, and begin to see them as your future reality.

Now is the perfect time to make your vision a reality

It can feel wonderful to envision a new future, and in the next breath it can feel really scary to think about stepping out of your comfort zone.

It can feel daunting to imagine yourself making the changes you envision in any (or several) of the domains — or even figuring out what first steps you can take.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed and so afraid that you do nothing.

But doing nothing to stay comfortable in the short-term eclipses the possibilities for big benefits down the road.

Maybe, if you think about it, it’s actually scarier to keep living the same way you are now, and never creating the life you truly desire.

Let’s talk about your fears, and the life you really want

If you are serious about exploring what it looks like to begin making your vision a a reality, let’s have a conversation.

On a Live Big Breakthrough Call you can share both the changes you want to make in your future, and the fears and obstacles that are in the way. I promise that you will gain new insights and perspective.

And if you want to hear about my coaching programs (including the next Live Big Live!), and if I believe the fit is good, we’ll talk about the possibilities for working together.

I believe that everything great begins with a meaningful conversation. I welcome you to make a date with me today.

Are you ready for a new beginning?

This is a big week for me.

It started on a great note — the tension of waiting for the election outcome ended, and the result fills me with optimism and hope for all that is possible for our country.

I am thrilled, too, that a woman has been elected to be our next vice president. And, equally momentous, it is great that a woman of color will hold this high office.

And I will be celebrating my birthday this week. I am grateful to look ahead to a year of so many new possibilities.

New beginnings feel wonderful.

We need not wait for a landmark election, or a birthday, or anything else to think about what is possible for ourselves.

We are always able to take a fresh look, connect to what we truly want to create in our lives, and begin.

For me, living big began with finding a clear vision, asking, “What do I want to create?”

It took some time to shape the clear vision I have today — to lead a movement, so that women (and men) everywhere believe in their ability to powerfully create the lives they want.

And here’s where my vision gets even bigger: As more and more people step into creating the futures that matter to them, they inspire everyone they touch. Vast numbers of people wlll believe that they, too, can be remarkable creators of the futures they desire.

What can it look like to start creating a new vision?

The first step is having clarity about what you want. And having considered that big question, you need to get clear about who you need to be to make your desires a reality.

You may focus on these big questions and find your answers, or you may want to be guided to this clarity — and to begin stepping into a new beginning.

I’ll share a few examples to illustrate what it looks like to get clear about what you want and to step into becoming the person you need to be to make that a reality.

Can you relate to these stories?

• One of the remarkable women who was at my Live Big Live! retreat last month, realized she needed to show up each day in a new way to move forward to a future where she has more agency in her life and more influence in her work. She has begun setting clear boundaries, speaking with more intention, and making self-care a high priority. She is already seeing a big change in the impact she is having in her work, as well as in her close relationships. She is on her way to knowing the career move to pursue next, and she is living a more rewarding life each day.

• Another woman realized how important joy is in her life, and she connected to a deep desire to bring joy to others. She yearns for people everywhere to understand how meaningful it is to choose to bring more joy into everyday life. She is filled with excitement about the many ways she is already stepping into her vision, and the impact she is seeing in others.

• A third woman, who had recently launched a new consulting practice, has more clarity than ever about what she stands for, how she wants to shape her business, how big it can be, and how much of an impact she can have in her industry. She is already signing on new clients who are inspired by her clear leadership and responding to the new ways she’s started to reach out.

How are you inspired? What do you want to create?

If you are feeling optimistic and encouraged about the future we are moving into in our nation, how can you bring that same energy into your life?

Are you content with your status quo, or can you envision new levels of growth, new possibilities, and more joy and satisfaction?

It may feel daunting to imagine taking steps to live a bigger life. For many people, just getting clear about they want is challenging.

If you hear a voice saying that it’s time to get clear about what’s possible, honor that voice. Listen to it, and take a small step to get curious and explore what living big can look like for you.

You might do some journal-writing or share your thoughts and questions with a trusted friend.

When ideas start taking shape you might create a vision board. (Stay tuned to hear about a virtual vision board party I’ll be leading next month.)

You may want to start testing the waters and try out new ways of thinking, new ways of showing up, new steps to take.

Remember — you don’t have to do it all on your own.

A significant step I took, that led to my biggest growth and transformation, was getting help. I let go of the old belief that I had to do everything myself, and that decision proved to be a huge breakthrough in my life.

If you want to talk about what it might look like to step into a new beginning, and what doing that could be like with support and guidance, I invite you to have a conversation with me. I offer my Live Big Breakthrough Call to women who are ready to set their next vision, who are longing for a life that will light them up as never before.

My promise is that you will gain new insights and perspective on what may be holding you back now, as well as what is possible for you. And if you find you are curious about my coaching programs, and if I believe the fit is good, we can talk about the possibilities for working together.

Let’s all step into this time of new beginnings and create a beautiful future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who do you need to BECOME to live big now?

Here we are, in the last week of October, looking ahead to a momentous election and the last 2 months of 2020.

Yup, there are only 65 days left in this year.

You may be hearing and reading about meeting end-of-year sales goals and doing year-end assessments.

Maybe you are thinking back to the ambitions you had for this year that got interrupted, and perhaps derailed, by the pandemic.

Rather than feeling stressed or anxious, I am offering you a couple of questions to consider:

What will help you to end the year on a strong note? 

What states of mind, what ways of being, can you address now, to make these last 2 months the best they can be — and to be your most resourceful and resilient self as you move into 2021?

As you read these questions, are you wondering how to start thinking about answering them? 

Consider this.

Your state of being is key to the quality of your life

Your state of being — how you show up in the world, your mindset each day — is the foundation upon which everything rests. It impacts your relationships, your work, your personal well-being — your entire life.

To BECOME more grounded, clear and confident, follow these 3 steps.

Step 1: Assess your current state

Take a look at this list of common challenges and consider which are limiting you now. (Trust me, we all are hampered by some or many of these, to one degree or another!) 

How many of these trouble you?

• A lack of confidence

• Feeling unmotivated

• People pleasing

• Putting yourself last

• Skipping self-care

• Comparing yourself to others, making you feel like you are not good enough

• Feeling like an imposter

• Difficulty setting healthy boundaries

• Feeling indecisive

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Feeling fearful

Mindset challenges like these are likely to have been in place long before the pandemic, though they may now be more of a hindrance. Or maybe some new ones have recently cropped up for you.

And maybe you are thinking of a challenge that is not on this list. If so, make a note of it now.

Next, jot down all of the challenges that hamper you these days. And for each one, note the level of negative impact they have for you.

Use a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most distressing.

Are you surprised at what you see?

If your list is long, or the scale is high, do not feel discouraged. You now have more clarity — that’s a good thing! — and you can begin to move forward to address these limitations.

Step 2: Focus on small change for one challenge 

With the clarity you have now, consider the single biggest limiting mindset challenge you identified — or the one that feels most urgent to address.

Yes, it can be big work to address such challenges. And I am glad to tell you that making change like this is doable — but the most effective way do it is to bring your attention to making small, focused changes to one thing at a time.

It’s tempting to try and change many things at once, but that’s not wise. When you are scattered and inconsistent in your efforts you are unlikely to achieve the changes you desire. That leads to feeling discouraged and giving up.

Begin by paying attention to the one thing you most want to address now.

And do not minimize the importance of taking very small steps to start shifting into a better frame of mind.

Consider taking small steps like these

When you feel overwhelmed, indecisive, or feel hampered by any of the stresses listed above, try adopting a conscious practice like simply slowing down and taking 2 to 3 minutes to breathe in quiet. Done consistently, this can be a surprisingly fast way to connect to your calm, wise self. It will help you more than you might imagine.

Or, if you are skimping on self-care, or notice you are people-pleasing, or realize that you frequently put yourself last, consider ways to treat yourself with more self-love. You might schedule 10 minutes for yourself each day — be it to soak in a tub before bed, to read quietly, or to take a mid-day walk. 

Small practices like these, when regularly incorporated into your life, will have a meaningful impact.

You may also want to look at the helpful practices and exercises I’ve included in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, to help you address and overcome the limitations that concern you. Choose the practices you feel will most help you to make the changes you seek.

Step 3: Keep going, even if you are not always consistent!

When you bring commitment to incorporating a new practice into your life — even if you do it imperfectly and miss a day here and there — be sure to acknowledge yourself for making that commitment.

It’s when you get back on track and continue to build new practices that meaningful change becomes your new normal.

Much like brushing your teeth each day, you will soon stop needing to remind yourself to take those breaks, or treat yourself well, or set healthy boundaries. Practices like these become your new way of being, and you are then able to bring attention to the next area where you seek to make change. 

Can you imagine what it can look to become more of the woman you want to be by the end of 2020?

What would it look like for you to show up and do what’s important to you without those old ways of being?

What might your new year look like if you were able to shift into being a creator of the life you want, rather than feeling like it’s so hard to make the moves you long for?

Begin now! Start to take small steps to become all you yearn to be.

There’s no time like the present to get started.

And if you want personal support, to help you overcome the limitations that are hampering you with more ease and consistency, let’s make a date for a complimentary Live Big Breakthrough Call.

I’ll be happy to help you gain insights and new perspectives about the challenges that limit you and how you can move forward in your life in exciting ways.

And, if we both think the fit is right, I can share the way that my new signature program, Live Big Live!, might help you become a powerful creator of the future you yearn for.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you talk a good game? How to get into action!

Are you someone who talks a good game, but the reality is often that there’s more talk than action?

If so, you are not alone. I see accomplished people do this all the time.

They talk about starting a new, consistent exercise program, or networking more (for business development or to start a job search), or scheduling a long overdue medical appointment, or making time for a deep dive into a new interest, or meditating regularly, or researching something new.

Sometimes they’ve looked into the best places to network, but never registered to attend an event.

Many have thought long and hard about how and when and for how long to meditate, and maybe even asked around and downloaded a good app, but never actually started a meditation practice.

Some have purchased all the supplies needed for a new project, but have never used them.

The sad repercussions of never starting, or stalling out

When we declare that we want to do something — saying it only to ourselves, or telling others — and then do not follow through, a downward cycle can take root.

We feel frustrated and disappointed in ourselves. If we have told other people, we are likely to feel embarrassed, and even ashamed.

The voice of the self-critic inevitably starts to hammer away.

We berate ourselves, we lose confidence, we can lose hope. We compare ourselves to others. We can not only feel stuck, we can get demoralized.

As this kind of negative thinking continues, it becomes increasingly hard to get started, or to resume an early effort.

Action is the answer.
You can create the ideal conditions to ease your way.

I’m glad to tell you that there is a three-part formula to pull out of feeling stuck and frustrated.

Here is how to lay a solid foundation for taking action:

Begin with willingness

Change, growth, or anything you really want can only occur if you are willing to embrace the unknown and engage in the effort.

If it’s important enough to you to step out of your comfort zone, you have the first step in place.

Add belief

You need to believe that you matter, and that you deserve the thing you want, and that you can be a creator of what is important to you.

We become what we believe.

Can you believe in yourself, and believe that it’s possible to take a small step forward — even when it feels challenging? 

Now it's time to commit

With willingness and belief in place, commitment is the final ingredient that is needed to move forward from concept (thinking about it, wishing for it, talking about it) to taking consistent action that will bring results.

Three keys to implementing an action plan

The idea of taking action, when you’ve struggled, can feel intimidating. We tend to feel that big bold action is what’s needed, and is all that counts.

If you’ve been reading my blog posts for a while, you will not be surprised to read points one and two. Add the third step and you’ll be on your way to sustained action.

1. Imperfect action is the perfect way to begin

The feeling that you need to do things perfectly, right from the start, can keep you from starting at all. We put so much pressure on ourselves!

The key is to embrace imperfect action. 

When you set out to write a crummy first draft, or imperfectly test the waters in any other way, you give yourself permission to do that thing badly. With that expectation, it’s so much easier to start.

When you start anything, you are in motion. You can then gain momentum with greater ease.

2. Small steps really work

People who have run marathons (and I am not among them!), have told me how they started by deciding to go for it, and running very short distances to start. They slowly built their endurance. I have one friend who began that way and went on to complete an Iron Man triathlon — and she had never run in her youth!

Small steps are powerful. There’s no need to start big, which can lead to frustration and can make that thing you want to do feel unattainable.

If, for example, you want to start a meditation practice, you might start by planning to sit quietly for 5 minutes twice a week. Experiment. What’s the best the time of day for you? You might try both silent and guided meditation. Find a setting that works best for you. You can gradually increase the number of minutes and/or number of times per week from there. 

3. Stick with it until you hit your stride

A client of mine reminded me of this point in a coaching session this morning. She had taught yoga, and she told her students they needed to take 10 classes before they would know if yoga was for them or not.

When you experience a yoga class on different days, your body is in a different state each time you get on the mat. If you take just one class and decide it’s not for you, you miss the experience of your body opening to this new practice over time. 

As a painter, I had a similar experience. It was in committing to enrolling in a painting class for a full semester that I was able to slowly find my way and realize that I wanted painting to be an ongoing part of my life.

Is this the day you will move from talk to action? 

If you have been struggling to get something underway, try the steps outlined above. You may want to ask someone to be an accountability partner for you — to work on the same initiative in tandem, or simply be there for you to check in with, so you can more easily get started and stay on track.

And if you want focused support — and accountability — to start and sustain your efforts to bring important change into your life, let’s make a date for a complimentary Live Big Breakthrough Call. I’ll be happy to help you gain insights and new perspectives, to help you see how you can move forward in your life in exciting ways. And, if we both think the fit is right, I can share the ways we might work together.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Have you thought about the choices you are making?

Welcome to October! I am feeling joy and gratitude when I am in the splendor of nature in all its glory. Color fills my view each time I step outside, and my heart swells!

This upbeat feeling is especially appreciated as the emotional intensity in the world around us seems to be escalating daily. How can we find, and hold, energy that lights us up, that keeps us grounded, rather than being pulled into the chaotic energy that abounds? 

Your choices impact your outlook

You see what you look for

Have you stopped to consider where you tend to put your attention? When you look for beauty (of any kind) you see more of it. And the more you look for, the more you see, the happier it makes you.

This works in much the same way when you choose to listen to uplifting stories or music, or choose to create meals with colors and aromas and flavors that especially delight you.

You can choose with whom to spend time

Think about the people you choose to be with and the kinds of conversations you choose to have. These choices have a huge impact on the way you feel and the way you see the world.

We all know people who bring us down. Their negativity can pull you in and be hard to shake. If someone like that is a family member with whom you want to be in contact, limit the exposure — or better yet, try and steer conversations in a positive direction.

Focus on connecting to people who lift you up. Who can you think of who sees the world as a place filled with inspiring stories and possibilities, even in hard times?

You can say “No” to news overload

Just as we can focus on interacting with people who lift our spirits and inspire a positive outlook, we can limit the time we spend listening to, watching and reading the news.

We can also carefully choose sources for news that are free of hype and bias. 

If you have not yet tried going on a “news diet” it may feel like a challenge. More and more people are finding this to be a great way to keep themselves positively focused.

You get to make new choices

Why not try some of these ideas and see what happens?

• If you have been cooped up inside, spend more time outside.

• If you have been feeling low, read something inspiring, watch a great TED talk, listen to a fascinating podcast, or dive into a creative project and express yourself.

• If online TV binges have made you feel sluggish, get curious about something new. Read about it, find demo videos, or give a new technique a try. (Maybe you will take up a new craft, cook a new cuisine, learn to build something, plant bulbs, study a period of history, pick up an instrument you haven’t touched in ages...)

• If you feel lonely or isolated, look for ways to make virtual connections or find like-minded communities of people online.

• If you are concerned about the election and the world around you, take action. You might volunteer for a campaign or to support voting rights. You can register to be on the next Creators of Change call. There are many incredible ways to get involved, rather than letting distress bring you down.

What choices will you make today? 

No matter the externalities, you always get to choose the way you see the world, and the way you can live through each day.

Making thoughtful choices aimed at supporting a positive frame of mind will impact everything in your life.

Leave a comment or email me and let me know how your choices are making a difference.

And if you want to talk about how to usher meaningful change into your life, we can make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I will help you gain clarity and insights about what is in the way of you stepping into the big life you yearn to make your reality.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you looking for inspiration and light?

Poster available from Society 6

If you are feeling deeply concerned, as I am, about the state of our nation and the world, you may be sad, anxious, discouraged or worse. You are not alone.

In my article and blog post last week, I wrote about choosing optimism, using the pain of a broken heart to fuel passion, how we have agency in our lives and can always take action, that we can create inspiration, and the power of both community and love are vast.

I needed to reread it today, and to think more about where inspiration and motivation for action can be found now.

Because when I feel so overwhelmed at the injustice around me and the horror of over 200,000 lives lost and countless lives impacted by COVID, and feel alarming concern that the fundamentals of our democracy are more at risk than ever, I need inspiration. I need to find ways to help myself, and to help others, from becoming gripped with fear.

My book, Live Big, has a chapter about how to live without fear. And I think it’s a good chapter. But the fear so many of us are living with now is of a different nature than what I wrote about — long before we found ourselves at this stunning moment in history.

Where I am turning for inspiration now

I am finding hope, strength and optimism from all that I am reading and hearing about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

This remarkable woman was a fearless and tireless advocate for what she believed in, and it’s because of her commitment to equality that we have rights many people don’t even know were not always available to us.

Here are just a few examples. 

Widowed men now get Social Security benefits accrued by their deceased wives to help them raise their children. Women can apply for and get credit cards and mortgages without a male co-signer, and can have credit cards and mortgages in their own names. Women in the military now get equal housing allowances to men.

And, I have learned, that her passionately written dissenting opinions over the years, later influenced positive legal changes. 

She brought her passion and brilliance to everything she did. She was committed to pursuing what she believed was right and just, and we are all the beneficiaries of her tireless work.

And, she famously had a close relationship with Antonin Scalia, with whom she sharply differed on many legal matters. This is something one can hardly imagine in today’s polarized atmosphere.

I am looking for the light and committed to being the light

There is always light to be found when we look for it. 

Where can you find inspiration and a positive way forward now?

And, we can each be the light. 

We can stay inspired, and we can stay in action — by speaking up about what matters to us, by helping people to vote, by helping to help elect candidates we believe will restore our country’s values, and by continuing to do our important work in the world. 

In all of these ways we are the light for others.

This may be the inspiration you need today

Paraphrasing something that is beautifully explained, I want to share this final insight with you.

You may have heard people say, when speaking about Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death, “May her memory be for blessing.” 

This does not mean “May we remember her fondly” or “May her memory be a blessing to us.” The blessing implied is this: may you be like Ruth. 

Jewish thought teaches that when a person dies, it is up to those who bear her memory to keep her goodness alive. We do this by remembering her, we do this by speaking her name, we do this by carrying on her legacy. We do this by continuing to pursue justice, righteousness, and sustainability. 

So, when you hear people say “May her memory be for blessing” don’t hear “It's nice to remember her.” Rather, hear “It’s up to us to carry on her legacy.”

May her memory be for blessing. 
May her memory be for revolution. 
May we become a credit to her name.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How we can move through this time of change

September is a time for new beginnings of all kinds. Even if you were not among those fortunate to have been able to get away this summer, or if life feels like a long string of similar days, there’s a shift that most of us feel after Labor Day.

Interconnected themes and inspiration have been showing up for me recently, that I am glad to share. 

7 things I am thinking about in this time of transition

1. We can choose optimism or pessimism. 

In his sermon on Rosh Hashana (the Jewish holiday to welcome the Jewish new year), our rabbi talked about optimism and pessimism. He pointed out that both can exist simultaneously, and that both can be motivators to take action. I would add that we always get to choose the frame for how we want to look at the world.

2. A broken heart can fuel passion. 

I heard the heartbreaking news about Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s death just after our Rosh Hashana evening service ended on Friday night. RBG was a giant of a woman who was fearlessly and passionately committed to work for equality and justice. We have the opportunity, and responsibility, to continue the work she advanced with so much grace, talent, tenacity and determination.

3. We have agency and we can take action. 

It’s easy to fall into despair when there are so many big issues on our minds. Regardless of the frame we chose as motivation (optimism or pessimism), when we think about what great people like Ruth Bader Ginsberg were able to accomplish, we can step up and take action to make this a better world. While few of us will have an opportunity like sitting on the Supreme Court, all of us can take action. History offers us many examples about how the combined efforts of great numbers of people have brought meaningful change to the world. 

4. When you look for it, you can find inspiration. 

I heard Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast with Sonya Renee Taylor yesterday, talking about the book The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. The conversation they had about this book was mind-expanding. Taylor takes the concept of self-love, that I teach in my work, to remarkable new heights. Opportunities to hear conversations like this can change the frame through which we see and understand the world, and ourselves. 

5. We can create inspiration. 

At my monthly IgNight Creative Evening on Thursday, when we created together on Zoom, the energy was electric. The theme for the evening was “reframing.” We expressed in words, we drew abstract concepts, and we dove into a great way to explore with color. We played and experimented. We shared and inspired one another. The uplifting spirit of the evening made me think about the opportunities we have to bring light and fun into many parts of our lives.

6. There is great power in community. 

The pandemic made it impossible to be with my community for services on Friday and Saturday. It made it impossible to be with family and friends after my mother’s death last month. It made it impossible to have IgNight in my studio. It has made it impossible to meet in person with colleagues and clients. And yet, we have been connected, and we’ve shared in community in new ways. And while some of what we miss when not in the same room is a loss, we have had new benefits. We can now connect with people who are located well beyond what would be possible in person. And the connections are deep and satisfying, even when we only see each other on a screen.

7. The power of love is vast.

Love is the thread that connects and inspires everything in my life. I believe that when we lead with love, when we look at the world through the lens of love, when we take action fueled by love, and when we bring love into everything we do, we live our biggest and best lives. 

How are you moving through this time of change?

What are you seeing and experiencing now? Are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic? Are you inspired to take action in your life? Are you motivated to impact something in the world? 

Drop me a note or leave a comment to let me know.

And if you want to talk about how to bring new inspiration into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. 

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about what may be hampering you or changes you are seeking to make, and how you can bring new inspiration and intentional change into your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Use these 3 steps to move from despair to inspiration

Have you stopped to consider that there is nearly always more than one way to look at things?

I have become even more alert to the possibilities of looking at things through a different lens recently, and it has shifted so much for me.

Examples of issues we can look at in new ways, that quickly come to mind, relate to many big tensions in the world around us.

The ongoing pandemic, the political climate as the election nears, deep concerns about environmental change as we see storms and fires fiercer than ever before, and a renewed focus on demanding the end to social and racial injustice are some of the big challenges.

For many people, the sense of overwhelm is huge. And it’s exhausting. 

It’s absolutely normal to feel concerned about such important matters, but there are options and opportunities to rise above the despair.

We get to chose the way we look at things,
and we can chose the way we respond

When we are able to stay calm and clear-headed, we think better. This allows us to stop being reactive. And from that calmer starting point, we can think positively.

We can make better decisions.

When we avoid spinning into despair, the choices we are able to make for what to do next can be more meaningful, and they can have more impact.

As a glass-half-full person, I realize I have an advantage. But anyone can decide to chose the lens through which to look at things.

Here is how you can make a positive shift.

1. Create the best environment for your wellbeing

We create our experiences, and we create our environment.

Things to delete

News cycles and social media feeds can be toxic. They are built to bombard us with sensationalized information and hype.

I am keen to be informed, but I (and many others) have found that going on a “news diet” has worked wonders. A check-in with a source you trust, once or twice a day, is more than enough to keep up with current happenings.

And, limiting social media “rabbit-hole” excursions not only keeps overwhelm down, it gives you the gift of precious time.

Consider, too, the conversations you choose to have. You can establish boundaries with those who focus only on the negative, or worse yet, rant.

Filter out stressful influences like these for a few days and see what happens.

Things to add

We find what we look for and and what we focus on. And, the universe connects us to where we bring our attention, as well.

Here’s a great example.

While writing this article, I took a short break and my husband mentioned that he’d just read a great opinion piece that he thought I would find interesting. (He had no idea that I was writing on this topic!) 

The remarkable New York Times opinion piece, titled, The Outrage Diet, is chock full of inspiring ideas about what to do to limit the impact of all of the fury that is damaging people’s health and wellbeing. 

You can also actively seek out uplifting people and resources. Who do you know who is always inspiring you, or impressing you with fresh and uplifting ideas? What podcasts or writers bring you positive and informative perspectives? 

Brené Brown’s books and her new podcast, Unlocking Us, and Krista Tippett’s On Being site and podcasts, come quickly to mind. I find myself grateful when I choose resources like these.

You may also want to change what you read and watch for entertainment. Choose what will fill you with uplifting energy and inspiration.

And, I always advocate for adding creativity into your life. The more creativity (of any kind) you engage in, the more easily you can bring creative thinking to everything you do.

Which leads to my next recommendation:

2. Reframe whenever possible

If you saw the email I sent on Sunday about my weekly Creators of Change calls, you saw that I shared a remarkable and inspiring reframe for how to view the current political climate, and how we can move forward.

I shared the work of Valerie Kaur, whose TED talk (and the quote I had pulled from it) shifted my view in a dramatic way.

Valerie Kaur’s take on the way we can see — and impact — the world reminded me of another example I heard from a great coach of mine, that goes like this.

If you entered a room and saw a woman in the late stages of labor, you might declare, “There’s a woman in crisis in here!” But if you knew it was a birthing room, you would say, “There’s a woman in labor here.” Same woman, same event, and a different way of relating to and thinking about what you were seeing.

We have many opportunities to reframe. When we consider what is possible, rather than focusing only on what is problematic, we open our minds. We can see positive perspectives and think about positive things to do, rather than feeling stuck in despair.

3. Take action and see things improve

Action is the step that takes you from the starting point of seeing through a new lens to great outcomes.

The New York Times Opinion piece I recommended is chock full of excellent examples of action you can take when you feel overcome by outrage or despair.

Finding action to take to address a concern or improve a troubling situation — even in a small way — is empowering. 

The action can be to dive in and learn more, to reach out to someone, to make a donation, to start a new conversation, to share your ideas (like writing an opinion piece or blog post), and more. Commitment to making things better starts with one small action, and then staying in action.

I also recommend you check out this excellent article, that’s filled with creative ideas for how we can educate high school students in the age of COVID. This is an example of looking at an urgent issue through a new lens. And by adding creative thinking, and suggesting new action, the author has not only enriched us with his great ideas, he may positively impact the lives of vast numbers of students and teachers.

How will you see new possibilities?

What one small change can you make today to create a more positive environment and start seeing challenges in a new light? How can you bring fresh, creative thinking to something on your mind? What action can you take?

If you want to talk about how to bring these suggestions into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can live a more empowered life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Curious about how core values can help you live big?

It won’t surprise you that I have been thinking a lot about my mother, who died on August 21. (If you missed what I wrote about her last week, treat yourself to some inspiration.)

In my reflections, I have been thinking about the core values in her life, that informed the remarkable imprint she left on everyone who knew her.

Core values are front of mind for me these days. In the work I am doing with a group of remarkable women, I am helping each to go through a process of identifying her core values.

Why?

I believe we benefit enormously when we are clear about our guiding principles. We see ourselves with more clarity and insight. We can not only live with more integrity, we can more easily make decisions and choices that are right for us. And we are better able to create futures that align with who we truly are.

What can core values look like?

My mother’s core values, as I saw them, included:

• creating and elevating beauty in all she did, and inspiring others to see and create beauty

• creativity — she was a fantastic artist and her cooking was legendary 

• love — of family and friends, and she created meaningful new relationships with ease

• hospitality — closely related to love, hosting special gatherings gave her great joy

• striving for perfection — sometimes to an extreme

• justice — she believed in the rights of all people to be treated fairly and afforded opportunity

My mother rarely wavered. She was clear about all she believed in. These values guided her each day of her life.

How do a parent’s values influence you?

As my mother’s daughter, all of her values influenced my life.

Like most children, it was natural for me to try and model myself after my mother. This was mostly for the good. I adopted her love of beauty, I actively strive for social justice, and I love deeply. In time, I became an artist.

But occasionally, as in the case of her focus on perfectionism, the influence was not so positive. It has taken me years to be able to aim for excellence without pushing myself to the impossible extreme of perfectionism.

Can you see yourself through the lens of core values?

As we each grow and evolve through life, we become unique individuals. My list of core values has some overlaps with those I see as my mother’s, but it is unique to me. 

My list begins with love. Love is closely followed by creativity that's paired with curiosity. (Following my curiosity has helped to free me from the perfectionism that hampered me for many decades.)

Happiness, joy and gratitude are core for me. My love of beauty came directly from my mother. Exploration — of ideas and new places — is also on my list. 

Leadership paired with vision; justice paired with tolerance; generativity; and accountability paired with resourcefulness round out my list of values.

What about your values?

Have you thought about the values that guide you? If not, I recommend that you set aside some time to think about them, and identify your short list of what is truly central to the way you live.

Of course there are many attributes that matter to all of us. The challenge is to think of those that are most true, through and through, for you.

For instance, there may be lots of things that are important to you, like honesty, or boldness, dependability, honor, grace, success, uniqueness, patriotism, fidelity, piety, diligence, or security — to randomly name a few possibilities. 

When you think about things that ring true, consider if they are core values for you — if they always guide you. You can consider paired values, or related attributes, as I have in my short list above, as you get to your focused list.

And while you might want to think about where your core values originated, be certain all that you claim are yours! Remove anything on your list that’s imposed, or expected of you by others.

Aim to narrow your list to 6 to 8 core values.

How to use your list.

With your core values in hand, you have the opportunity to think about how you want to live into them.

Are there some values you want to expand, or go deeper with? For me, the realization that I had a long-held deep desire to explore more creative expression, but had allowed fear to limit me for so much of my life, finally supported me to enroll in a painting course. When I stopped stifling a core part of myself, and stepped into being an artist, my life changed in ways I never imagined would be so satisfying.

And remember that there are seasons in life when you can bring more focus to some of your values than had been possible at other times. Perhaps you will explore ways to expand the role of a key value as your life circumstances change.

Can you start to see new possibilities for yourself? Are there new ways to live your core values now, and new ways be bring them into your vision for the future, so you will live your biggest, best life?

Where will your core values take you?

Turning your attention to identifying your core values might feel like another “to-do” you don’t have time for. I get it. Life can be hectic.

And, your life can be enriched by creating space to consider what your core values are, and when you use them as a reference.

Making life decisions that are fully aligned with your values is very empowering. You are likely to feel clearer and bolder about your decisions when you have that resource to refer to.

If you would like to talk about core values and how they can help you move beyond what limits you into a future that will light you up, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can be a powerful creator in your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to make 1 life-changing change

Most of us go through familiar motions each day. After all, as humans we are creatures of habit and we don’t give much thought to our ingrained patterns. 

Some of our habits are fine, and many may be terrific. But most people who pause to think about it, realize that there are some ways they live day by day that are dissatisfying, if not problematic.

For some, the tiny device they carry all day is a huge distraction, and for many it serves as a seductive way to avoid doing things they want, or mean, or need to do. (There are variations on this theme, too, like indulging in Netflix binges, or scrubbing at the grout in the shower.)

For some, living in overdrive is habitual and exhaustion is the norm. They cannot remember how to get quiet and relax.

For others, worry is a habit.

Some overeat or drink as a way to numb themselves when they feel discomfort.

Some deplete themselves by always taking care of, and trying to please, everyone around them.

You can choose to cultivate new ways of being

You may be familiar with the idea of committing to a “practice” in your life. If not, you may have heard people refer to their yoga practice, or a meditation practice, or a self-care practice, or some other kind of practice.

Starting a practice is an excellent way to change habits that hinder you.

When I first heard the term “practice” years back, I found it curious — and I thought it was a bit pretentious. I now understand the concept of having a practice, and how meaningful and helpful it is.

When I decided to attend yoga classes, and found a teacher and classmates that felt like “home” for me, I began to understand what it means to have a practice in your life. I regularly attended classes and found yoga to be an important part of my life.

When you choose to adopt a practice, you commit to doing something new or different with ongoing focus and regularity.

What it looks like to adopt a practice

Yoga is a good form of exercise, but yoga is really about more than simply mastering physical poses. By choosing to have a yoga practice, you commit. Each time you get on the mat you learn more about how your body works, you slowly cultivate balance, you experience more flexibility and strength, you breath with intention. And as you do all of that, you become fully present to your body. You experience what it feels like to empty your mind and be only in the present.

You do not gain all of these benefits in a week. It is when you sustain a yoga practice that the benefits grow and become greater over time.

Adopting a sustained practice of any kind works the same way.

Your new practice — which can be establishing new guidelines for interacting with your smartphone, or new ways of cooking and eating, or creating a schedule for your days that matches your peak energy periods, or building regular movement into your life — will impact the way you show up in your life.

It will help you to be the person you want to be.

Who you want to be to live your best life?

Why not stop and consider who you want to be, and who you need to be, to live the life you truly yearn for? Asking yourself may help you identify a range of ways you want to commit to bringing new practices into your life.

You may want to learn to slow down and be still — and enjoy that stillness.

You may want to start living in the present moment, rather than replaying old experiences, reliving regrets, or pushing your thoughts out to what-ifs in the future.

You may want to feel more free and willing to experiment, play and try new ideas, rather than holding back until you feel certain of outcomes.

You may want to dive into an interest that you’ve been drawn to but have not pursued, for fear you won’t be good enough, or that others might criticize you.

Use these 3 steps to get started

A word of caution: Don’t slip into the trap of making lots of changes at once. That’s never wise. And, avoid getting overwhelmed by ruminating over all the possibilities for what one change to make.

These steps can guide your process:

1. Start by asking yourself this question:

What one new way of being do I feel most eager to adopt now?

Let your intuition chime in here, and trust it. You do not need to make a “perfect” choice — simply make a choice!

2. Next, consider what small new practice you can commit to that will help you to adopt that new way of being.

Find some uninterrupted time and brainstorm about this. (The Discovery Dozen™ exercise, that I teach in my book, can be a great resource for exploring possibilities.)

Having generated a list of ideas, what feels the most appealing? Aim to create a small new practice that you believe you can commit to.

3. Now it’s time to put the new practice into action.

Get started! Make adjustments if you find that something does not work so well, or shift to new variations if needed, but keep going.

Once you have landed on the way your new practice works for you, and you stay with it (even if it takes some getting used to at first), you will be on your way to becoming the person you want to be now.

And be sure to acknowledge and celebrate yourself after taking each of these steps. 

What’s next?

When you have a new practice comfortably in place, you will find that you can consider adding another new practice.

This is how we grow and expand in our lives.

This is how you can live big.

If you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and who you need to become to create that life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, what changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What will your wake-up call lead to?

Have you ever had a “wake-up call” that changed your awareness in some way?

I received an email the other day with a story that indicated a wake-up call had occurred. It was not dramatic or earth-shattering, but as I read it the note, I could see how meaningful it was.

Awareness was opened in a notable way. And that awareness lead to important impact.

What can happen when you explore

The woman who wrote to me shared a story that began when she watched a documentary that I have recommended to many people in recent weeks.

The 13th (that’s titled after the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution, and available on Netflix and YouTube) opened my eyes about the history of race, justice and mass incarceration in our country. It brings to light the ways that the decades of policy since the end of the Civil War have contributed to so many ills that people of color have suffered, and continue to suffer, today.

What happened after she watched the documentary was remarkable.

She described a conversation she had with a close friend, soon after watching The 13th, in which she explored a new awareness about language that most of us use without a second thought — language that carries deep pain for so many.

She shared that the conversation she had was meaningful, for her and for her friend, and that she is now more aware of many subtle ways that pain like that is inadvertently and routinely perpetuated.

This was a powerful insight, for which she is grateful.

When we are open to new learning we gain so much

In addition to the day-to-day focus we have on our families and our work, we can invite enrichment into our lives.

We are enriched when we learn, and we can gain important new awareness. When we have a wake-up call related to subtle ways we have been uniformed, it can be incredibly valuable.

And we can take that new awareness a step further.

By bringing the awareness into a conversation, or when we consider things we used to say, or do, or write without a second thought, and consciously make a change, we grow and expand.

Not only do we benefit, we impact those around us.

And in that way, we impact the world.

Amazing, isn’t it?

How will you take a step to look for more knowledge?

You may dive in to explore more that is related to systemic racism, and the impact it has in our society.

You may want to learn more about another challenge that concerns you — the environment, educational inequities, poverty, homelessness, the pandemic, the state of our democracy, and more.

These are all excellent possibilities.

Exploring and learning = taking action

And, talking with others is important action, too. It not only expands your own awareness, you share your new awareness.

In turn, others are likely to become more aware and initiate or contribute to more conversations. And so the impact grows.

This is what leadership looks like

When you develop awareness about an issue or problem you want to help address, and are motivated to help resolve it, you are poised to proceed in any number of ways.

I always recommend that you start with small, conscious efforts, and build from there as you wish. Seek inspiration from others. Invite collaboration. Think creatively to devise a range of interesting approaches to pursue.

When you stay aligned with your values and step forward with courage you are leading, and modeling for others to do the same. You are impacting the world in your unique and important way.

The world needs the greatness in all of us.

We can each step into our power.

We can all live big.

I invite you to consider the impact you want to have — in your personal life, in your work, and in the world — by stepping into your power, and living all of your greatness.

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want to create in your life, the impact you want to have, and challenges or questions that may be limiting you. And if we both think there’s a good fit, I can tell you about a new coaching program I have created that’s starting soon, and how it may be able to support you to create the future you want.  

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating

Three sure steps to take right now

Here we are, at the end of another month, halfway through the summer. 

We continue to live through a time of enormous disruption, and yet life is always affording us opportunities — even when it can be hard to see them.

What I am seeing now

I am observing shifts of many kinds. 

I talk to people who were rocked at the start of the pandemic, found the focus and energy to take action, and are now in a new lull as they contemplate moving ahead.

Some people report an upswing in opportunities in their work, and that they have found new and positive ways to keep connected to others and stay happy.

Some have realized that things they had been tolerating (personally and/or professionally) are no longer tolerable. They are feeling keenly motivated to take action and bring change into their lives. 

Some are diving into new ways to spend their time and realize this period has been a gift for them.

Many are finding they've created a new mix, or blend, of elements in their day-to-day lives, and they like the way they are spending their time, focusing their attention, and using their energy. They realize they are likely to adjust again as the world around them creates new conditions, but their new routine and combination of satisfying activities and initiatives is working now.

Wherever you are at this moment, consider these ways to support yourself.

1. Feel it all and “exercise” what you feel

Feeling our emotions — especially the tough ones — rather than stuffing them down or avoiding them, can seem scary. Sure, it's great when we feel excited and happy. But nobody is always happy.

Lots of people are champions at avoiding tough emotion. They numb themselves with mindless scrolling, endless Netflix, too many cocktails, overeating, and more. Some stay frantically busy or dive into excessive physical activity to keep from feeling them.

If you can allow yourself to simply be with the emotion in quiet, and feel what you feel, you can then use the energy of the emotion to transform it.

Yes, the pain or distress or anxiety can be dispelled.

How? 

• Set a timer for 5 minutes (or more) and write freely. See what shows up on the pages.

• Make art with what you feel — make the emotion visual any way you want.

• Dance the emotion, to let your body express it. Sing the feelings, or play them on an instrument. From the blues, to rock, to opera, to hip hop — anything is great.

• Get outside and feel your emotions under the sky, as you look at the world around you. Or dig in your garden, letting yourself connect to the awesome energy of nature.

And you can elevate positive emotions with any of these techniques. Why not make the most of the good stuff?

When you are in touch with what you are feeling, and actively honor and then “use” difficult emotions — or amplify good ones — you clear the way for fresh perspectives.

2. Decide what you want

It’s easy to feel stuck when you are unsure of what to do, or can’t imagine what might be possible.

Before you start writing out lists of possibilities, focus on your desire.

Sit where there are no distractions and get quiet. Close your eyes, put one hand on your heart and feel into your heart. Put your other hand on your belly and consciously connect to your intuition, to the wisdom in your gut.

 And listen.

You may hear soft, vague whispers or clear loud messages. Be patient. Stay in stillness. See what desires show up. 

You may not get answers all at once, but if you actively listen, you will connect to things your heart desires. 

Maybe you’ll yearn for more connection. Maybe you’ll realize you want to explore being a speaker. Maybe you’ll desire a change in a relationship. Maybe you’ll want to express yourself more fully. Maybe you’ll want to live in a new place, near people or resources you long for. Maybe you’ll realize that you want to reshape what you offer in your professional work.

Your heart always has desire, and connecting to it gives you a compass for moving forward.

3. Get creative and get choosy

Having connected to your emotions and desires, you can now consider your options in new ways. This is your opportunity to create!

You can look at things through new lenses — the lens of opportunity and the lens of possibility.

Opportunity and possibility are starting points for big thinking and for fresh approaches you can play with.

Start with the question, “What if it’s possible that...” and see what shows up. You can also use the Discovery Dozen™ exercise I teach in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, to generate lots of ideas, and see which of the ideas you want to explore more deeply.

When you review your ideas, be selective. Eliminate the possibilities that feel heavy. Delete any that feel like “should’s” rather than “wants.” Continue to check in with your heart and your gut and stay with the ideas that light you up.

What happens next?

This is a good time to consider who can help you. Who can be a sounding board, or wise advisor, or coach? Who can help you stay accountable to the process of exploration, testing and taking action?

And try not to get overwhelmed. Neither exciting, big ideas nor more modest ideas require you to take giant steps! Small steps are the ideal way to move into something new (and small steps can be bold steps). These will let you set a solid foundation, as you take small action, and continue or adjust course as needed, with every step on the path.  

Let’s create together!

I have been feeling significant shifts as life has evolved and the last months have rolled along. I am excited about new opportunities that I am seeing, and a host of new things I am creating.

From a new more expansive and light-filled approach I am moving into in the studio when I paint, to new ways of navigating through the challenge of illness in a beloved family member, to a new program I have designed to support great women to create the next big vision for their lives and start living it, I am moving forward in new ways.

I invite you to share what you are facing in your life now, and what you yearn to create in your future.

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call, and I will help you gain insight and clarity about your challenges and questions and desires. And if we both think there’s a good fit, I can tell you about my new coaching program that’s starting soon, and how it may be able to support you to create the changes you want to make. 

Today is a great day to take a small and meaningful step.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.