How to make each day a little easier

When people ask how you are, is your answer usually, “Busy!”? You may use other expressions that convey there's a lot — maybe too much — going on.

Maybe you live in over-drive, like so many accomplished professionals I know and speak to. Some wear their fast-paced, often stress-filled striving like a badge of honor. Some feel exhausted and are looking for a way to reduce the intensity.

Whichever camp you may be in, there is a strikingly simple way to make things easier, that I discovered and use all the time.

Self-talk can provide a huge assist

The frame of mind we choose, and the energy that is supported by our thinking, can result in very different experiences.

Consider these two ways to approach the same situation.

Scenario 1: 

This person sits down at her desk and looks over a huge list of things to do before the end of the day.

She says to herself, “This is going to be hard! It will take all day, and maybe into the evening, to get it done.”

She gets to work and pushes through the hours. She barely takes a break, and finds herself feeling irritable.

Scenario 2: 

Another person starts her day looking at a similar list.

She says to herself, “Wow, there’s a lot on this list! What if it does not have to be hard? What if it’s easy to get through these tasks? I have an abundance of time!”

She starts her work, feeling good about all she will accomplish. She moves from task to task, and takes a brief break each hour. She also makes sure to eat well mid-day.

Their outcomes

In Scenario 1, the day ends with a lot accomplished but she feels depleted. She gets home feeling weary and dreading more of the same for the rest of the week.

In Scenario 2, the day ends with a lot accomplished and she feels satisfied and eager to have a nice evening. She knows there is a lot to do the rest of the week, and knows she will approach each day with a similar orientation.

Turn around thoughts that make life harder

A good rule of thumb that will help you shift your self-talk to experience more ease and better outcomes is to turn around the thoughts that do not support you to bring your best energy to tasks at hand (and hamper your outcomes, too).

That’s right. You can reframe negative thoughts to be the opposite — thus turning them into in positive thoughts.

Our negative way of thinking is often on “automatic,” because we do it so regularly.

It’s easier to change those patterns than you may think.

Here are some examples. I’ll begin with a review of the common thoughts noted in the scenarios above.

1. “It‘s going to be hard.”

Most of us use this statement without considering its impact.

Here are a few ways this thinking can show up:
“Making our travel arrangements is going to be hard.”
“This will be a hard conversation.”
“It’s always hard to find the best solution to problems like this one.”

We set ourselves up for struggle when we think this way at the start.

By turning each around, we can feel positive, and maybe even look forward to the experience of making those travel arrangements or solving those problems. In the case of anticipating a “hard” conversation, a turnaround statement helps us defuse the heavy emotion and approach the conversation with more ease. This shift may even help you feel more confident.

2. “There’s not enough time.”

This is something I found myself saying nearly daily for years. One day, my coach looked at a full agenda of things we planned to get through in a day, and said, “There’s a lot here, and we have an abundance of time!”

Not only did her energy shift when she said that, mine did, too. We found that we moved through everything we intended, and really enjoyed the process.

I have been reminding myself that there is an abundance of time ever since, and it’s been a game-changer. My clients have loved adopting this approach, too.

3. “This is complicated.” 

Sure, some things are complex, but you can look at the same circumstances and say, “I can figure this out! It may not be so complicated.”

Can you envision how differently you will feel as you move ahead with this frame of mind?

4. “This is stressful.”

You might turn this statement around and tell yourself, “This is an interesting situation. It feels stressful, but it does not have to be.” 

What other negative thoughts can you notice, and start to turn around?

Start paying attention to your self-talk today

When you bring awareness to habitual ways of thinking that make your life harder, you are able to consciously make small (and significant) shifts in your thinking. Why not begin now?

If you try it, and see that day-to-day life becomes easier and more enjoyable, I would love to hear about what is working for you and the difference it’s making.

Leave a comment or email me me to let me know.

And now, I will return to my to-do list for the day. I know I have all the time I need to get through it!

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

These 3 questions may wake up your heart

Last week I had the privilege of spending four inspiring days doing deep personal work. I shared the experience with an amazing group of people, led by my remarkable coach, Michelle Villalobos.

Michelle is a business coach. I initially wanted her help to build my coaching practice, and she has certainly helped me do that. But the reason I continue to work with her is that she is on a path of doing her own deep work. She is focused on being — on who she is and how she shows up in her life — and she is a fearless explorer of this territory. She brings what she is learning into the lives of her clients.

If you have read my book, you know how aligned Michelle and I are about the importance of focusing on who we are becoming and how we show up in the world. We both believe that this is the key to being a leader in your life, which then makes it easier to build a great business — or do anything else you set out to do.

To impact the world with your gifts you need to start with the inside work.

What I dove into last week

The theme of our retreat was big: creating the new. As you can imagine, this was immensely meaningful for me. We explored how we create, what each person’s ideas are for the new they want to create, and what it will take, personally, for each of us to audaciously create in ways that will have a tremendous impact.

This was intense work, but there was also play!

I loved experiencing an afternoon of freedom, fun and laughter as I allowed myself to create with crazy materials, fueled by great music. I let go of concern about making something “good” and drew from my intuition without overthinking. It was liberating and I loved my imperfect finished piece.

And I loved watching people, some of whom had not made art since they were kids, and many who declared they did not consider themselves creative, allowing themselves to relax, play freely, and make amazing works. I witnessed joy as they shared, many claiming that they loved what they made and loved their new beliefs about themselves.

Why community is important

Magic happens when people gather this way. We learn from one another and inspire one another. The time away from “real life” gives us so much to bring back and apply to the work we do. And it supports us to each live with more awareness and intention.

3 questions you can ask yourself now

As I integrate the powerful experience I lived, I am happy to share several questions I was asked to answer. Perhaps they will be helpful and enlightening for you.

1. What can you let go of now to open the way to living your biggest, most promising life?

You might chose to let go of doubt, or perfectionism, or fear, or an old story that does not serve you — or any other limitation you want to release.

2. What power, within you, do you want to claim?

You might want to claim courage, or conviction, or passion for a cause, to name a few possibilities.

3. What new quality or project or mission do you yearn to bring into being, that will make an impact on your own life, and by extension can impact the world around you?

This question may sound daunting to ponder, but I invite you to consider that every meaningful creation you aim for — be it small or grand — can be life-changing for you, and can have ripple effects that reach beyond what you can even imagine.

Do you feel called to step into something bigger?

My work, my mission, is to unleash the untapped creative capacity inside women (and men) everywhere, so they bring all of their greatness into the world.

I am committed to using the power of love as the driving force of my work, because I know love can inspire people to embrace their full capacity to create, express and expand.

This vision inspires me every day.

And as grand as that mission sounds (and I hold a huge vision for what it will look like in the future), the growth is rooted in many small first steps.

Over and over again, what appear to be small events fuel the expansion of my mission. It’s all about having one conversation at a time.

In each connection with a woman who hears a voice inside (that may be whispering or may be shouting) that she is ready to let go of what is in her way; that she wants to find, claim and leverage her power; and that she wants to usher in something new and important to create a brighter future, a connection is made. And there is a possibility that we may be aligned.

When there is alignment, when we both believe that my support can help a woman to stop living small and step into creating her biggest life, there is true magic. Nothing is more gratifying for me than to usher in greatness and set ripple effects into motion.

And when a group of great women embark on the work with me, the power of the community accelerates the growth of each individual!

Taking a small first step can be your portal to a big future

If you feel called to take a big step up in your life, let’s make a date to talk soon. Simply email me and we’ll make that happen.

There may be alignment, or not, but one things is certain: It will be a meaningful conversation that will have an impact in your life.

And that aligns perfectly for me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Why clarity matters (and how to find it)

So many of us push. We strive. We buy into the notion of needing to “crush our goals.”

That language is like having a whip lashing at us, pushing us to constantly work harder, move faster, and do more.

That energy is exhausting. It makes you feel like you can never do enough. And it is often counter-productive.

What if you are enough right now?

What if you simply need to let yourself shine?

What if you trust yourself to be fully present and authentic, to share your wisdom and passion with grace and confidence?

What if you are clear about what you want, what you believe, what matters, and stay present to that?

Imagine how different it would feel compared to struggling under the self-imposed (and culturally-imposed) pressure so many of us endure.

And imagine how differently your ideas and words would be received.

When you have clarity all of this is possible

My journey has taught me so much, and I am grateful to be able to share what I have learned with so many great women with whom I work.

Here’s a case that illustrates a lot.

On Sunday, I led my Dream Big Vision-Board Workshop, and was blown away by the remarkable women who joined me. They showed up wanting to create a vision for a fabulous year, and dove deep.

What most moved me was seeing each of them get focused and clear about who they want to become to live the lives they long for. Because everything begins with the way we show up in our lives.

From there they were able to identify what they want to do that really matters to them, and what they want to have to make their lives exciting, meaningful and rewarding.

As often happens, surprises showed up along the way.

New desires and priorities emerged for some as they found clarity. New foundations became clear, such as the insight that being surrounded by the beauty of nature, color, or flowers would fill several of them with joy, and thus enable them to show up and truly shine in many areas of their lives.

They are all excited about living into the visions they created and made visual in the workshop!

What clarity really means, and what it does

When you connect to desire that is rooted in your heart, you have natural fuel for commitment to take action.

I have observed over and over in the years I have led this workshop and coached, that excitement, and belief in what is possible, are byproducts of true clarity.

In combination, they lead you to making meaningful progress.

Experiencing the progress that you are motivated to bring into your life feels great. And it builds confidence. That confidence inspires continued action, and momentum builds.

That’s how a positive energetic cycle is established, and great things are manifested in women’s lives.

A life fueled by positive energy is possible for you

You may be reading this and think you are far from having clarity and all the good outcomes that can follow.

The truth is, we can all start from wherever we are. That’s what I did not so long ago, and I now guide women to do that every day.

Even if you are figuring things out, feel challenged to identify your true desires, are in the midst of building a base of knowledge and experience, or trying to get clear about the direction you want to pursue, you can grow and thrive without the onerous push we are so often encouraged to embrace.

Guidance is available

Being able to create and sustain a life fueled by positive energy entails more than attending one workshop or reading one book, or listening to a good podcast here and there.

Finding clarity and then shifting into living in new ways is not a one-and-done exercise. And true transformation takes time.

The smoothest path to the life you dream of is to have support — the support of a coach and the support of other great women who are on a similar path.

Once you start it won’t be long before you find yourself shining brightly, as you step into creating the future you desire.

I invite you to schedule a time for us to talk about the dreams and desires you have, and how you can live a life that is fueled by clarity, enthusiasm and positivity with less push, exhaustion and frustration. Maybe my Live Big Live! program will offer the support you need, or an upcoming workshop will get you started.

Email me and I'll send you a link to my calendar. (There’s no cost or obligation for us to meet, but I offer only a limited number of calls each month. So reach out soon.)

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Do you dare to dream bigger?

We are well into the first month of 2022. I hear people everywhere talking about the goals they’ve set, or that they are considering for the year, and that’s great.

And, I suggest that there’s a bigger question that’s important to ask now. (It’s one I have been focusing on myself.)

How you are showing up in your life?

How we each show up is the single factor that will most impact the outcomes we’ll look back on at the end of the year.

At a wonderful retreat I attended at the start of the year, I spent three days in deep, quiet reflection about the year past, and setting clear intentions for the year ahead.

This was remarkably special because I would not have carved out the time to do this on my own — nor would I have thought to structure the process as beautifully as my dear friend and mentor Peleg Top designed the experience.

Here are the two questions that kept coming to mind for me, as I moved through those days:

How I have been showing up in my life?

How do I want to show up this year?

These are big and important questions, and I invite you to consider them for yourself.

I also asked myself:

If I choose to show up with more courage, determined to reach new heights, how big do I dare to dream?

And, I added:

What will it take for me to dream big?

This brought me to considering two more questions:

How much can I trust — myself and the universe?

How much support is available, and from whom — to keep my mindset strong, to tend to my health, to take care of the many small tasks that keep me busy but rob me of time to do what only I can do, and more?

I invite you to do some big dreaming and big thinking

Having considered some of the questions I posed above, continue to reflect and explore.

You may want to take a fresh look at the goals you’ve set or the resolutions you have made.

Have you aimed low, or put a cap on how much you dared to go for?

What would it look like to end the year thrilled with something you made real by dreaming even a little bigger than you dared to up to now?

Next, think about who you want and need to BE to step up and live your biggest life.

Will you aim to be bolder? More confident? Clearer about what is right for you to enable you to stay aligned with your values?

With this clarity you can focus on becoming the person who can live her dreams.

Each of our big dreams will be different

For some, it will look like setting good boundaries and honoring themselves by making time for quiet, pursuing a long-dormant passion, or repairing a relationship.

For some it will mean striking out in a bold new direction, or making a change they long for in their career.

For some it will look like vitality of body and mind.

The possibilities are vast.

My dream is to show up as I never have before

I intend to speak on bigger stages to spread the messages I am passionate about, and work with more great women to help them step into their power, so people everywhere create their biggest lives.

My dream is to show up in my studio and paint boldly, so I feel free and fully expressed.

My dream includes completing a project that is in its earliest stages now, that will provide a tangible way for people to learn to live big and create as never before. I do not know the final form for this yet, but I know it is becoming what it’s meant to be, and I am excited about developing it.

And my dream includes a world that is healed by legions of people living their biggest dreams, each in their own important way. By playing even a small part to make that happen, I will be thrilled.

Are you ready to dream bigger?

If something inside of you knows this is the time to step into more of your power, to make your important dreams a reality, let’s get on a call.

Email me and we’ll make a date to talk about your big dreams, what is limiting you now, and what is possible.

These calls are one way I support great women to live big — whether they choose to join one of my programs or not. (There's no obligation or cost for us to have a call, but I limit the number of calls I schedule each week.)

My dream is for you to truly Live Big! I look forward our conversation.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

We can each help make this dream a reality

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a famous dream. A dream he declared with passion. A dream he was deeply committed to bringing into reality. A dream that was both for him and for the world.

His dream envisioned a country where love and opportunity for all people would allow each and every person to bring their gifts and their light into the world.

Can you imagine that world?

Can you imagine a world where each of us lives with love — for ourselves and for each other — as a driving force each day?

Imagine the possibilities.

Imagine what the world would look like if each of us embraced our true genius each day, bringing our imagination, our ideas, and our unique talents forth without hesitation.

Imagine having all of what you share and others share truly honored.

Imagine seeing each of our contributions inspiring others, then combined and built upon so that collectively we create new and exciting possibilities for anything and everything that we choose to make our focus.

I find that vision to be awe-inspiring.

I have glimpsed it in real life, and I yearn to see more and more of it.

My invitation to you

I invite you to sit and imagine what your life would look like, and how the world around you would change for the better, if you showed up fully each day.

I invite you to imagine being fully clear about what you value and what you care deeply about, and living your life with clarity and commitment, fueled by love.

Not only will your life change, you will change the world.

It starts with each of us saying, “Yes!” to courageously living our lives that way.

Will you say “Yes!”?

Sadly, all these years later Dr. King’s dream is still a work-in-progress. There is much work left to do. We cannot wait for, or expect, others to do it.

It will take all of us doing our part, each day, in small consistent ways, to realize the changes he dreamed of, and so many of us long for.

I invite you to join me and countless others who have chosen to be a part of bringing this momentous change into the world.

As we all do our part — as we truly Live Big — we can heal the world.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

What I learned may help you focus, too

It amazes me that we are already 11 days into January and the new year.

For many of us, time seems to be speeding along, as we move through days filled with tasks and obligations, adventures and challenges.

What if you could slow down time, to feel more focused and less frantic?

I just had that experience. I am eager to share what it was like, as well as how I intend to continue pacing my days.

Following time away for the holidays with my family, I decided to extend the trip when an invitation arrived to attend a small retreat focused on starting this new year with clarity and intention. It was offered by my long-time coach and mentor, Peleg Top, and it was an easy, “Yes!”

What a gift it was to be led through a deep, thoughtful process of reflection and intention-setting in the awesome setting of the high desert of New Mexico.

Here are three gifts I am bringing back and happy to share with you.

1. Choose to slow down.

If you read my post last week about optimizing 2022 you will recall I spoke about getting clarity about the year you want to create, setting specific intentions, and scheduling specific actions to make those intentions your reality.

Whether you have started the process yet or not, my invitation to you is to consider the pace at which you plan to incorporate your intentions — and the pace of the days you have scheduled for yourself.

I have already started to make the shift to days with more “white space” on my calendar. And I have blocked off every Friday this year to provide flexibility for myself (no client sessions, no meetings), as I did in the last half of 2021. The feeling of release I got when I blocked off my Fridays for the year was palpable!

Maybe you will carve out time for a morning practice each day. Maybe you will block time mid-day for a long walk. Any approach you choose will benefit you.

When you slow down, create space for rest and thoughtfulness, and live with true intention, you can create in each moment rather than react. This is a game-changer!

You may be thinking, “Wait, this is what you teach!” But it is in the actual practice of living this way (establishing habits that stick takes ongoing practice!) that I find delight in the benefits.

I predict that when you make it your practice, you, like me, will get more of what matters done. And you will feel more satisfied.

2. Dive deeper into your heart.

Now that you have more space in your schedule, choose a block of time, perhaps an hour, to sit in a cozy spot with a journal, your favorite pen in hand, and a cup of hot tea. Ask yourself some questions about your desires for this big shiny new year.

Choose from as many of these as you feel called to explore.

• This year I will be most energized by/when…

• This year I will say “yes” when…

• This year I will say “no”/set boundaries when…

• This year I will explore…

• This year I will express myself when I…

• This year will be special because…

Write lots of things for each that you choose to complete. Feel free to add to this list of prompts, too, as new thoughts for shaping your year come to mind.

And you may want to close out this special time by expressing your deepest desire for 2022.

3. Create your environment with intention.

My trip was a great reminder that the environment around us has a great impact on our daily experiences.

And you do not need to travel to faraway places to create an environment that makes you feel relaxed, special and inspired.

I started my work day this morning by lighting a candle and adding some essential oils to a defuser, to make sitting at my desk feel lovely.

Look for ways to add beauty, like bringing in a splash of color you love, or fresh flowers, or found objects you picked up on a recent walk. Think about all sorts of ways to wake up your senses, for instance choose music to soothe you or to add tempo to a particular task.

And if there’s some clutter you can clear for a few minutes each day until it is resolved, you will find that your energy will flow with more ease.

We can each make 2022 a special year.

No matter what is going on around us, we can each create clear intentions for ourselves, create the best environment to support our wellbeing, and cultivate our mindset to shape the year ahead.

And stay tuned for a series of emails about my upcoming Dream Big Vision-Board Workshop, on January 30, to help you create a clear vision — and live it — for a stellar 2022!

You can check out the workshop here. Registration is open now!

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Here’s how to make this a great year (really!)

Welcome 2022!

As we step into a shiny new year, most people I speak to are glad to bid farewell to 2021. Even for those who had a good year, the reality of living through a second year of COVID, not to mention political issues that swirled, affected us all.

And while a new year always feels full of possibility, we now find ourselves in the midst of a new round of pandemic challenge. With it comes uncertainty.

I believe that this first week of the year is an opportune time to take action that can make this the best year possible.

Take some quiet time now to reflect and set intentions. Doing that will help you to live your best life in the year ahead.

Three steps to optimize your 2022

1. Choose a word to guide your year.

Long-time readers will be familiar with my belief in the impact of choosing a word-of-the-year. Here’s the post where I describe the process, that includes a number of examples.

When you use this short, powerful process, you ask yourself important questions that help you focus on what really matters to you now, and the energy you want to bring into your life in 2022.

2. Think about what it will look like to live your word this year.

With your word selected, it’s time to set intentions that align with that word or theme.

If, for instance, Learning was your word, your intentions could include broadening your understanding of the world, stimulating your brain, and experiencing novelty.

If your word was Savor (as mine was a few years back), your intentions could be to slow down, to fully experience things each day, and cultivate appreciation.

Your word may call on you to be thoughtful, or courageous, or curious, or calm, or active — tune in to what fits for you.

When you set intentions, you focus on who you want to become. This awareness will also inspire you and support you to bring positive energy into everything you do.

3. Make it concrete.

Now it’s time to get specific about how you want to implement your intentions. Think about what will both satisfy you and will be doable.

If, for instance, you chose Self-Love to guide your year, one way you might live into that theme could be to up your self-care. This would be the time to decide on ways to actually do that.

You might choose to include walking 3 times per week, meditating for 5 minutes each morning, and visiting a museum each month. Whatever you choose, schedule the activities into your calendar. Start with the first 3 months of the year, and continue or modify the plan from there. (For instance, in the spring you might decide to increase your meditation time, or add an activity like tending a garden.)

If your theme of Self-Love also inspired you to bring more creativity into your life, you might implement that intention by first exploring classes that are available (art, or music, or photography, or cooking, etc.), then scheduling time each week to take the class and practice between classes.

The outcomes may amaze you

When we set intentions and commit to them, we are able to bring changes we truly desire into our lives.

After choosing your word, why not print it out and post it where you will see it each day? This will keep it top of mind as you move though the year.

You might invite a friend to embark on this process with you, too, so that you can support one another to stay committed throughout the year, even as the specific ways you live into your themes evolve.

The more you stay connected to your word and intentions, and plans to follow through on the specifics, the more the outcomes will excite you.

Imagine looking back next December and smiling at the year you lived and the ways you made your intentions a reality.

No matter what surprises come along (because surprises are inevitable), this approach will support you to make 2022 a meaningful — and maybe even magical — year.

May your new year be filled with joy, vibrant health and abundant creative energy.

Don’t learn this lesson the hard way (like I did)

When I wrote to you last week I mentioned that I’d been away at a retreat and returned feeling very tired. That was just half the story.

The full story is that I was also ill. My GI system was not working well, and I was exhausted.

So in spite of having a big back-log of emails and tasks that I’d planned to get through when I returned, my body had other ideas. It sent me a big signal: slow down.

Slowing down has not always been easy for me!

The importance of slowing down is hardly a new insight for me. In fact, the first chapter of my book is titled Slow Down and Be Still. When I wrote the book, I realized that chapter had to come first, because I see it as the foundation for living big.

We live in a culture where doing, rushing, and pushing ourselves to achieve is celebrated. I bought into that for years, and have struggled to consistently slow down for at least a decade. I have made progress, but I often override my better judgement and keep my foot on the gas.

This past week my body shouted insistently at me. (It was anything but subtle!) I decided to listen and soften, rather than fight it. And I’m glad I did.

Slow down before your body forces the issue

I have had to remind myself of the benefits of slowing down more times than I care to admit. (As they say, we teach what we most need to learn.)

I know that there are great benefits to slowing down, and yet once again the universe stepped in to make sure I would take care of myself — and walk my talk!

I surrendered.

I rescheduled dates and tasks on my calendar that could wait. I slept long enough that I woke up feeling rested, without the sound of a harsh alarm to rouse me. I sat and meditated every day. I read. I took short walks to breathe fresh air and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. I quietly sipped warm cups of tea and ate nourishing meals without multitasking.

I did some meaningful work, but I did not let myself overdo it.

And here’s what happened.

I had time to think and reflect. I noticed subtleties that I usually miss. And I came up with new ideas that excite me.

I feel so much better now. I started healing my body, and also healing my spirit.

What about you?

If this message resonates for you, try at least one way of slowing down today. Savor the sensations you notice when you do that.

And plan to give yourself this gift again tomorrow.

I know I am carefully creating more space for myself each day, and invite you to do the same.

Leave a comment, or email me to let me know what happens for you when you bring more stillness into your life.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to supercharge your thinking

Most people misunderstand creativity, and many are sure they are not creative. (I address this all the time, in podcasts interviews and when I speak to audiences of professional women.)

Rather than try to dispel those misconceptions today, I want to share a simple and actionable insight that anyone can use with ease, and that is sure to ramp up creativity and improve your life.

Put all of your brain power to use!

What, you say? I am not using all of my brain?

We live in a culture that leans hard into left-brain thinking.

We want data, we trust facts, and we look for logic all the time. We believe that by gathering all of that we can devise the best strategies and make our best decisions.

But when we hold that focus, we leave the gifts of our right-brain out of the picture. We fail to benefit from the rich insights and creative resources our right brains are there to provide.

How the right brain works, and what happens when we use it.

The right hemisphere of the brain is where imagination lives. Big ideas, new concepts and fresh thinking are spawned there. All of these can emerge when we understand how to get the best from our right brains.

And it's not hard to do!

Here are a few ways to set the conditions for your right brain to get going:

• Go for a walk around the block.

• Take a shower, or a bath.

• Look at the sky.

• Do some people-watching.

• Doodle.

• Sing or dance or play an instrument.

• Or even do nothing for 10 minutes.

Any of these will give your left brain a rest, allowing the right hemisphere to pick up bits of logic, facts and data and come up with fresh, new, surprising possibilities.

Who hasn’t marveled at how they got a great idea in the shower? Now you know why that happened. You can easily create the conditions for great ideas to show up more often!

Abundant creative ideas are great — and there are even more benefits!

Tapping the right brain and opening creative channels also connects you to your intuition — an immense resource most of us miss as we rush through our days. Listening to your intuition is like having a second brain — there is so much innate wisdom available to you when this connection is clear.

When you make bigger connections to your intuition you will notice that your heart is more open. In that way you’ll connect to your true desires, deeply-held values, and reap more insight. That insight leads to personal growth.

I witnessed all of this happening with the remarkable women who attended my Live Big Live! retreat last week.

On each of the three days we spent together I included time for their right brains to play and added creative experiences along with teaching, exercises and sharing. I witnessed accelerated insights, open hearts and glorious inspiration as each woman took steps into her future — futures that are truly aligned with who they are, what they want, and what has deep meaning for each of them. It was a joy to see it all unfold.

I invite you to set the stage for more right-brain activation so that you, too, can be more inspired, create with joy, and Live Big.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to explore how Live Big Live! may accelerate your path to living big, schedule a call with me.)

3 questions to ask yourself everyday

Are you getting out to enjoy the wonderful fall weather? Making time to get into nature enriches the soul and the body.

I must admit that it’s been hard for me to make time to get outside and reap the array of pleasures and benefits lately.

With the Live Big Live! retreat coming up this week, family matters that need my attention, and oh so many things I am trying to fit into my day, I have been putting time for myself way down on my list of to-do’s.

Can you relate?

But here’s the thing I know. When I move my self-care up to make it a top to-do, everything else gets better.

Have you tested this out?

Last week I made a point of getting out to take a walk, even when I was super-busy. And, as I have experienced in the past, lots of great things happened as a result.

I felt refreshed — both in body and spirit.

I had time to think without distraction. Ideas started to pop up like crazy.

I waved hello to neighbors I rarely see.

I captured a few photos of beauty that I noticed as I walked past lovely gardens.

I returned to my desk with new energy and perspective, and moved more quickly through a number of tasks that had felt burdensome earlier in the day.

Why do we forget what we have already learned?

As you can imagine, what I described was not a new revelation. I learned long ago that making time for myself, in any number of ways, always pays off.

And I teach this! These lessons are threaded throughout my book!

While I could beat myself up for not staying on track and tending to time for my own well-being, I know that as a human (not a machine!) I am not in a fixed state of being. And modifying my life-long inclination to work hard is an ongoing process.

How to stay aware and get back on track

I have found that asking myself three key questions on a regular basis helps. I created a small reminder card for myself, that I have placed where I see it often.

You might want to grab this PDF and print it out for yourself. Or, write your own key questions. What will prompt you to make time for small ways to boost your well-being and make each day lighter and happier?

By keeping a reminder handy, you will be less likely to fall back into habits that do not support you to live your best life each day.

And, having asked myself these questions again just now, I am stepping away from my desk to feel the sun, breathe fresh air, and enjoy a brisk walk around the block!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to love your to-do list

When you look at your to-do list do you feel overwhelmed? Most of us do!

We are busy with lots of things to do and we have many interests. We strive to achieve. We are passionate and eager to have an impact.

And day after day, all of those to-do's and desires add up and can feel heavy.

Try a new to-do approach

Here is a new way you can orient yourself to all the things on your to-do list. With your latest to-do list in hand, grab a fresh sheet of paper and follow these steps:

1. Focus on what brings you joy.

Scan the old list and put a bright-colored, big star next to the items that make you happy to think about doing. Be sure to also mark those things that will lead to outcomes that make you smile to envision — whether they are short-term or longer-term outcomes.

Start a new list, write “JOY!” at the top, and write those starred things on the list.

2. Create the next category — things you want to do.

Look through what is left on your old list and add a new colored bullet next to things you want to do. The “wants” need not be quite as exciting as your starred “joy” items, but they are a close second and belong on your new list.

Add them in the next tier of your new list, under the heading “WANT!”.

3. Take note of any “shoulds” on your old list.

If you see things that are there because you feel you “should” do them — whether that “should” was imposed by someone else or comes from your own thoughts — mark those “shoulds” with a big “X”.

Determine to drop those things!

That said, if you realize you do want to do any of them for some reason, reframe them as something you “want” to do and add them to the new list in the second tier. (Then, when you see them in the want category, you will approach them with a positive feeling.)

4. Identify things that need to be done.

We all have things on our lists that have to be done — but often we put things into this category when they really may not need to be there. Assess and mark the “need to be done” items with care, and add those to the next tier on your new list — labeled “NEEDS TO BE DONE”.

The trick here is to get these to-do’s done as quickly as possible. That will relieve the stress of seeing them linger on your list — or the stress of bearing the consequences if deadlines are missed.

The ideal way to get the “NEEDS TO BE DONE” to-do’s done quickly is to delegate them to others who can do them for you!

Make a sub-list of the items you can delegate. Be sure to put a check next to those items as you hand them off, and cross them off when you get confirmation they have been taken care of.

5. Look at what may be left on your old list

Are there any orphaned items, that did not get transfer to your new top tier JOY items, the second-tier WANT items, or the NEEDS TO BE DONE tier?

Think a bit about anything that has not been assigned. Might those to-do’s be delegated?

If you determine that they are not that meaningful or important to you, can you drop them?

Letting go of things is easier after careful consideration, and doing that can be liberating!

Assess your energy now

By working from your new list, making the things that fill you with delight — or will feel exciting to achieve — your top focus, you are bound to feel positive energy.

Being guided by the new list will help you keep from spreading yourself too thin; you’ll avoid the struggle of trying to do too many things.

Rather than feeling depleted and frustrated by not getting enough traction on things you care about the most, keeping your focus on what lights you up will feel wonderful!

That's how you can hit the sweet spot for where to put your precious time and attention.

And that feeling of rich energy will not only support you as you move through your tasks, it will help everything in your life to feel lighter and better.

On top of that, everyone around you will sense your positive energy. Taking this new approach to your to-do’s, you will not only help yourself, you will help others in subtle and meaningful ways.

More ideas are on the way

Next week I will go deeper into this subject, to give you more insights and suggestions to help you live each day in the flow of positive energy.

Learning how to leverage your energy, in many small effective ways, will fuel your life and help you live big!

If you want to talk about the ways you can live a life that is fueled by more positive energy, to get past stress, fears or doubts, I invite you to schedule aLive Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I'll be glad to give you new insights and perspectives about what hinders your energy, hear about the dreams you have for your future, and talk about what’s possible for you. We can explore if my coaching is a fit for you — and if not, there’s no problem. We’ll sort out your next best step.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you feel the call to greatness?

I have some deep questions to ask you today.

• How big are your dreams?
• What does the future you yearn for look like?
• And as you think about that future, who do you want and need to BECOME to make that life a reality?

I know these can be challenging questions to consider. And I know, too, that if you shy away from them, you will miss out on a huge opportunity to become a creator of the bigger, more fulfilling future that is possible for you.

I know because it wasn't so long ago that I did not dare to ask myself questions like these.

What’s holding you back?

Maybe, like I did a decade ago, things feel safe for you now, and it feels comfortable to maintain the status quo. And yet deep inside you sense that you are settling (even settling for something that's good), knowing that more is possible.

Maybe, like many of my clients, you have a desire to make a bold move — to go for that next level in your career, or start or grow a business, or step into your power in other ways — but doubt that it’s possible, or that you can do it on your own.

Maybe, like many women, for many reasons, you feel the urge to make a change but don’t know what you want in the next stage of your life.

Maybe your confidence has taken a hit along the way, which compounds the confusion or the feeling that you are stuck.

Maybe it just feels too daunting to consider stepping into a bigger version of yourself.

Maybe you feel the desire but don't know how to get started, or how to reach for your dreams.

What if you had support?

Having lived through a massive transition in my own life, I know creating a new reality entails three things.

Start with willingness — willing to believe in yourself, and willing to get help. When I realized my life could light me up in bigger ways, I was willing to step into creating a bigger future. And felt I could safely do that with a great guide.

Next, believe — believe that you matter, and believe in your ability to take steps toward a life that will bring you new levels of satisfaction and joy.

Then commit — to yourself. That means making commitments to be focused and to implement changes that will be life-changing.

I learned that all of these are easier to bring into your life — and lead to bigger results — when you have support.

This can be your time.

If the questions I posed have stirred a knowing inside, the sensation that it is time to step into your power in a bigger way, create a future where you show up as you best self, and bring more of your greatness into the world, then read on.

Last year at this time I created a new way to support accomplished women like you.

Both my private clients and group clients had been making life-changing transformations, and I wanted to bring the best of both coaching approaches together. I designed a new signature program, Live Big Live!, that gets enormous results, in a more compressed time. And, I designed it so that busy women like you can comfortably fit it into their lives.

Three cohorts of remarkable women have experienced Live Big Live! in the last year, and their lives have been transformed. (You can see what past attendees of Live Big Live had to say about their experiences in some lovely short videos.)

The Fall 2021 program is about to kick off — and there are still a few spots left in this intimate program, One may be perfect for you.

I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon. We’ll talk about your deep desires, your questions and concerns, and what's possible for you. We’ll explore if Live Big Live! is a fit for you — and if not, there’s no problem. We’ll sort out your next best step.

When you become a leader in your life and start to truly live big, you will be a force of change in the world. You deserve that, and we all need that.

Our conversation can be your first step into that remarkable future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Here’s a sure fix to stop sabotaging yourself

I think a lot about the words I use, and as a coach I listen carefully to the words I hear others use. What I hear often surprises me.

The biggest surprises typically relate to the ways people speak about themselves, and how they share the ways they speak to themselves.

The words we choose really matter

First, think about how you talk about yourself.

I frequently hear people speaking about themselves in ways they would not speak to others. And they often fail to have awareness about the harshness of the words they use, whereas had they heard those same words from someone else they would bristle.

A statement like, “I was out of control yesterday, and really screwed up,” is a good example.

If it was changed to something like this: “I had a tough day yesterday. With all the stress of trying to do more than was reasonable, the draft I turned in was not my best effort. I’ll improve it tomorrow.” the speaker would feel a lot better.

With awareness, you can shift to ways of speaking so that you stop beating yourself up and cutting yourself down. Imagine how that would support you as you moved forward.

Consider the self-talk in your head, too.

When we heap negative or harsh self-talk on ourselves, it chips away at our belief in what is possible for ourselves. That doubt is a confidence-killer. As a result, so much that is possible is never even attempted.

Just as you would not tell a child they are not smart enough to learn something, or discourage them from trying to do something they really want to explore, adults often give themselves damaging messages just like that.

By paying attention to the words you use in your head, you can choose encouraging, self-loving, positive language, that will help you to feel optimistic about moving forward.

Do you lock yourself in with negative statements?

I also feel sad when I hear people use negative language that is “fixed” about themselves.

I frequently hear statements like these:

“I’m terrible at thinking on my feet in a meeting.”
“I can never get projects done on time.”
“I hate sales and will never get good at it.”

When we declare these types of things that have been a struggle for us as being true and fixed, we keep ourselves stuck in that limitation. By stating instead, “In the past I have felt stressed in selling conversations,” we keep the door open to possibility, learning and change.

Do you “should” yourself?

The word “should” is one of the worst offenders, and crops up everywhere — in the ways we talk about ourselves, to ourselves, and lock ourselves in to limitation. This judgmental word causes unhappiness and damages people in countless ways.

Rather than saying, “I should...” see what happens when you change your thinking to what you want, or what needs to be done for a reason that matters to you.

“Shoulds” are rooted in external pressures or the expectations of others. When you feel agency in your life and in the world, you can let go of the “shoulds.”

Change your self-talk and change your life

Bear in mind that the words that hold us back also impact our energy. And the energy we hold in every action we take has a tremendous impact on our outcomes.

Imagine turning around any of the negative examples I have shared above, or any that have popped into your thoughts while you’ve been reading this.

Now imagine taking action with the energy of the negative messages running in your head, and compare it to the energy you’d feel if you held the positive messages in your thoughts.

The outcomes of every effort, or conversation, or even what you can imagine to be possible will be so much more expansive and will hold so much promise when you use positive words that delivery positive energy to fuel you.

It takes some attention to focus and catch yourself when you use language that limits you, so that you can reframe the words you use.

With practice, awareness and attention, you will start to tune into the language you hear and appreciate positive expression. You will also be aware of negativity.

One example of a negative use of words that I frequently notice, is the word “anxious” when someone means “eager.” For example, they’ll say, “I am anxious to attend that concert!” when they just told you how much they love the performer and their music. Listen to the energy of the sentence when it’s changed to, “I am eager to attend that concert!”

In time it will be get easier, and even automatic for you to notice negative talk on the spot and reframe each message. And you will get used to the fun of feeling the new energy that comes along for the ride when you make those changes.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How free do you feel?

Having celebrated Independence Day this past weekend, there’s been a lot of  focus on independence and freedom.

These are expansive topics, and they can be explored from many perspectives.

What is coming up for me — aside from the ways we can give thought to independence and freedom through the important lens of our nation and its inhabitants — is personal freedom, and how we declare our own independence.

How do you feel free in your life?

Consider when and in what ways you most feel free.

Think, too, about how you may feel constrained or, perhaps, how you may deeply yearn to feel more free.

Perhaps your work, your relationships, or your finances come to mind.

Perhaps your heart feels caged.

There may be a part of you that yearns to be expressed.

Perhaps you perceive the constraints to be external or in the hands of other people. Or maybe you know you have the power to make a change to feel freer, but don’t know how, or have not found the courage. 

Are there ways you want to feel wildly free, but you hold back (a little, or a lot)?

I invite you to spend some time exploring this topic.

Pull out a journal, set a timer for 10 minutes and do some free writing, to see what comes up. You might try the Discovery Dozen™ exercises on page 29 of my book, to explore what feeling free really means to you. Those prompts can reveal thoughts that are deeply buried in you heart.

Do you feel ready to declare personal independence?

For years, questions about feeling free never came up for me. I lived day-to-day-to-day without deep reflection. I did not even consider the subject.

After I started working with a coach and waking up in my life, I started activating creative thinking and creative expression.

As a result, the feeling of being free started to show up in ways that surprised and delighted me. I began to consciously appreciate and explore this feeling, and to expand it in as many ways as possible. Soon, every part of my life felt more vibrant.

It was from that place of feeling free that I declared my independence — from a life that was good, to pursue a life that was exceptional.

I was tired of settling for the status quo and wanted to spread my wings and freely create my next chapter. 

If you’ve been a reader of my blog for a while (or read my story on this site) you know that in 2011 I sold the business I owned for 27 years and embarked on a new path. I could not foresee the destination, but here I am, doing coaching work I truly love, in a marriage that has become even stronger and happier than before, having written a book I am proud of, and having become a painter.

Living with this freedom and personal independence is something I celebrate and feel grateful for every day.

Have I “arrived”?

Hardly. 

Each day offers me opportunities to open more.

On some days, the feeling of freedom eludes me, and I have to find it anew and claim it again. It’s easy to fall back into old limiting states of mind.

It’s the ongoing pursuit of feeling free, being willing to take new steps toward it when I backslide, believing in myself and feeling worthy of this way of living, and committing to the ongoing process of the exploration that has carried me forward.

Step into defining freedom for yourself

If you want to talk about what freedom can look like for you, and making it a reality, the timing could not be better.

The preparatory journey that will culminate in Live Big Live! this fall is starting soon.

Live Big Live! is powerful program, designed to give you enormous clarity about the life and work you want to create. You will be supported to begin to create a future filled with the freedom you want, with tools to help you each step of the way.

We can make a date to talk about what’s in the way for you now and the future you dream of. Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me directly — click here to find a spot on my calendar. There's no obligation or cost for us to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The sure way to create the life you want

The glorious Sunset when I arrived at the retreat center in the Smokey Mountains

Last week I attended a life-changing retreat.

Before I left I considered the “cost” of three days out of the office. I felt sad to miss my son’s birthday celebration. I did not relish the prospect of taking two flights each way.

And, this trip meant postponing a long-awaited hair appointment for a week — as my salon was reopening after renovations. (Those with short hair get that this was a big deal!)

And in spite of all of that, my heart knew this was going to be important. I just could not have foreseen how much would shift and open and expand.

Great coaches have changed my life

When I started working with my first amazing coach, Peleg Top, I experienced remarkable change. I began to truly wake up in my life. A year and a half into our deep work, I realized I wanted to sell my business because it no longer lit me up — and I wanted to be lit up every day!

Peleg and I worked together through my exploration of creativity and he mentored me as I created my coaching practice. I came to know this was the work I wanted to do — work that would excite me every day and have a huge impact for other women. I wanted to guide them to identify their true desires, and tune into the powerful resources inside themselves to create their best futures and live big.

Peleg and I are still close. He continues to guide and inspire me. And we often collaborate.

And for the last year and a half I’ve worked with another brilliant coach, Michelle Villalobos. Michelle’s genius is to help her clients create and build businesses they love. She couples that with guidance for deep personal growth. The focus on personal growth — who I need to BE to live my biggest life — has proven to be a key foundation for stepping into more visibility and more impact in the world.

The time spent at the retreat last week ushered in an exciting new wave of expansion that I will be processing for quite a while.

A great coach can change your life

I rarely look back with regret, but if I could turn back the clock I’d have begun working with a coach a lot sooner. I can only imagine the way my life might have unfolded with that kind of support a decade earlier!

If you work with a coach you love, that’s terrific.

If you have never worked with a coach, I invite to look for someone who is a fit for you and who you believe can guide you to where you want to go in your life. Make a commitment and do the work.

And get ready for a wonderful ride!

It will surely bring up discomfort as you are asked new questions and you wake up in your life. There’s no way to know what it will feel like to begin to approach your life and work through new eyes and a more open heart, and courageously start living in new ways.

There will be rich rewards when you commit and stay with it.

You’ll be guided to bring new and bigger perspectives to your life and explore with new levels of curiosity. You will be supported to bring new levels of creativity into your thinking, and get really clear about what you want your future to look like.

You will start to bring all of yourself and your gifts into the world, with confidence and grace.

You will experience happiness and satisfaction in yourself, your relationships, and your work that will delight you as you move up to each next level.

I want that for you.

We can talk about what it could look like to work together, and see if the fit is good.

Or you may want to consider other coaches to support you. There are great coaches out there, and one is certainly a match for where you are right now.

I’ll be happy to know that you are getting support to create your best life. After all, if more of us do that and stay committed to ever-expanding growth, our collective personal growth will impact the well-being of people everywhere.

That’s how we can each make our own lives better as we make this a better world.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to talk about your life and creating your best future, grab a spot on my calendar and we’ll have a Live Big Breakthrough Call.)

There’s a superpower you can claim today

On Saturday night I returned from a 3-day retreat that fired-up me up with energy and inspiration! The energy of that time away, in the company of a great leader and truly remarkable people, carried me though the weekend and is lighting me up as I’m heading into the week.

While energy was a theme we kept coming back to in the big work we did together at the retreat, it is something I am always aware of.

And energy is an important focus of my coaching work.

The energy you bring to everything you do matters more than you may realize

Think of something that makes you feel excited, full of energy. What do you love to do that lights you up?

That feeling is what my coach and mentor calls feeling “energy-rich.”

She believes in creating a business that is centered on doing what is energy-rich for you, and steering away from things that drain your energy. (That said, there are things we all must do that are not in our sweet-spot for high energy. In those cases, planning to get help will lead to success with more ease.)

Because when you focus on the things that are energy-rich — whatever they are for you — everything is easier, goes better, and is more fun.

And, the energy you bring to everything in your life works the same way!

Your energy impacts your outcomes

Living and working with a focus on a mission or purpose gives you a head-start on bringing good energy to your tasks each day.

But even then, we all have challenges that pull our energy down.

The first step is to notice when you feel “energy-poor,” then identify what’s pulling your energy down.

Rather than muscling ahead while feeling low, see if you can make it a practice to pay attention to how you are feeling. When you pause with intention and notice that your energy is lagging, you can explore the reason your energy is low.

You might want to use my Discovery Dozen™ tool (it’s provided in many of the exercises in my book, Live Big, and can be adapted in countless ways) to get to the root causes. Or you can start by considering questions like these:

Did you have a bad night’s sleep, or eat poorly?

Did you slip into comparing yourself to someone, or feeling like an impostor?

Do you doubt your ability to do a task or project well enough?

Are you feeling afraid? Of what?

I always suggest that you jot down the thoughts that come to mind as you answer questions like these. Writing by hand, and exploring the reasons, can accelerate your clarity.

Next, look for ways to shift back to a more positive energetic state.

If you can rectify something with ease — like eating a nutritious meal, or taking a nap, or walking around the block — by all means start there. Maybe you will want to place a call to someone who believes in you, who can remind you that you have done hard things before, to give you a boost of confidence and love.

And it’s always helpful to reconnect to why this task, or project, important.

Why did you choose it or say “Yes” to doing it? Why is this conversation, or project, or effort important? Why does this matter? The answers can be a great way for you to find good energy.

And if you consider the why, and realize there isn’t a good one there —maybe you said “Yes” just to please someone or avoid conflict, or you realize this is not meaningful for you, or you realize you can delegate the task to someone else, or maybe it is not aligned to your integrity — you can make a new decision. Saying “No” may be the decision that brings you back to a high energetic state.

Your energy can be a super-power

When you focus on staying in a state of high energy, and learn to feel the feelings and restore your energy when it flags, you will notice real shifts in your life.

Remember that the energy with which you create anything will impact the quality of what you create! Because when you are fueled with excitement, motivation, purpose, and joy, everything that you create will be enriched!

Why not start every day with the intention to be aware of your energy, and to stay as energy-rich as possible?

This is one practice anyone can do, and it can become a habit. After a while it can become as automatic as brushing your teeth each day.

Can you imagine feeling energy-rich throughout your body? I invite you to embody that feeling!

Right now, consider what the rest of today can look like with that awareness and intention. Now get started and see how it goes!

I’d be delighted for you to email me or leave a comment to let me know how you experience magic in your life when you focus on feeling energy-rich each day.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you ready to slow down and love your life more?

If you are like me, you may have a tendency to do a lot.

I get excited about new ideas — I generate them all the time. I love learning new things. I like to help people. I take on a lot and often have a calendar without much white space on it.

And, more and more these days, I find myself yearning for space — space for quiet, rest, yoga, time outdoors in the glorious spring weather, and more time in my studio.

I realize this is just what I urge my clients to do — make space for themselves to be quiet, to think, to rest, and for self-care of every kind.

Richard Bach’s well-known quote is “We teach best what we most need to learn.” My story certainly illustrates that!

Creating space to slow down and be is life-long work for me. (That’s why the first chapter of my book is Slow Down and Be Still. It’s the foundation for living big!)

And, messages about doing too much, and a desire to be clear and intentional, keep coming in for me lately. The universe is sending me wisdom in many ways.

Here’s one way I am making more space for myself now

I recently remembered that a few years ago, thinking about this same challenge, I created a To-Don’t list. And, I made a companion To-Do list. Each had three key questions to guide me.

I am pulling them out again!

Why not use these tools and see what happens for you?

Here are the questions to consider for what goes on your To-Don’t list:

• What can I defer?
• What can I delegate?
• What can I dump?

Here’s the key to what to put include on your To-Do list:

• What gives me energy?
• What brings me joy?
• What keeps me out of trouble? (After all, some things must be done.)

And, I have decided to add two new criteria for my To-Do list entries:

• Is it fun?
• Will it move forward something that is really important to me?

I am determined to defer, delegate and drop as much as possible, and not add anything to my to-do list that does not match my new criteria.

(And if you, like me, have found to-do lists hard to manage, I just started to use an app that I really like. The free version of Remember the Milk is great.)

This quote is helping a lot

This brilliant quote was recently shared with me:

“I am working toward a time when everything brings me joy.”

It was attributed to Maya Angelou, but I have been unable to confirm that. In any case, the words of this quote sound simple enough, but I think they are profound.

What if we could each keep this statement in our minds, and let it guide us? Can you imagine how much could change by simply returning to that intention each day?

That guidance in now helping me choose when to say “Yes” and when to say “No” — with love. This simple awareness has been a game-changer.

This new acronym is inspiring me

I had a great conversation last week with my dear coach and friend, Peleg Top. He has been on a sabbatical, and he is focusing on the joy of simply being.

He told me that he is replacing FOMO (the fear of missing out), with JOMO — the joy of missing out!

I totally love that idea, and have been reminding myself of it daily.

What works best for you?

As I always say, the small changes we make have a big impact, and with consistency the impact grows over time. I am starting small with the powerful ideas I shared here, and am committed to building in open space on my calendar and keeping it that way!

And, just as the quote and the new acronym prove, we can learn so much from one another.

Please share what you have done to make space in your life. I would be delighted to hear your ideas. Leave a comment to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

We're in a season of change. What kind is right for you now?

It’s exciting to see spring bust out all around us, and wonderful to be out and about so much more.

Do you feel inspired? Do you feel ready for new things, new experiences, and maybe some change?

Spring is the perfect time to bring change into your life, and especially this year, having been so limited in so many ways for so long.

What kinds of change do you long for now?

Why not start by considering possible changes in a number of categories. Some offer small opportunities for sparking your life and some are weightier. Which of these can enrich you now?

Think about how you dress.

Many of us have been wearing comfy clothes during the pandemic and the long dark winter from which we just emerged. Lots of us settled for drab colors, too, not thinking much about the impact of the clothes we choose each day. Why not go for wearing fabrics and colors and adornments that make you feel beautiful? This small daily change can give you a big lift!

Color can have a big impact!

Consider emphasizing the colors in your environment. Which make you happy? Which bring back lovely memories? Perhaps colors you associate with the beach and water delight you, or rich jewel tones make you feel great. What changes would light you up, if you add or change colors — in the clothes you choose, flowers you bring into your home, the food on your plate, the art on your walls (or the paint color!), or even the dish towels you use each day?

What are you eating now?

The statistics on weight gain during the pandemic are startling. But even if you have not put on weight, this is the perfect season to focus on eating simple, fresh foods. Farmer’s markets are opening! Home gardens, if you have the space and are up for planting, offer fresh veggies and herbs in your own back yard. I have a Sunday ritual of sautéeing and roasting lots of fresh veggies to eat all week, and at this time of year it gets even more fun. With new favorites like asparagus and local fresh berries soon to be in season, it’s exciting to look forward to all of the flavors.

Will you change your ways of moving?

The opportunities for getting exercise get to be more fun in the spring. I know walking has been an important part of coping with isolation for many people (and those with dogs take them out in any weather), but others — like me — have not been that active outside for some time. I am starting to walk more, both in my neighborhood and in nearby places that offer beautiful new surroundings. Perhaps you will try jogging, or tennis. Perhaps you will be able to safely get back to the gym where specialized equipment is available. Perhaps this is the time to do a new kind of yoga, or try kick-boxing. What would feel great for you?

Are you ready for change in your work?

So many women I speak to now are considering their work lives — in a range of ways. Some got a big wake-up call this year and realized they needed to leave a toxic environment, or move on from a field that is no longer making them happy. Some are looking for work, having been in industries that were hard hit. Some have had businesses that made it through, but need to bring them back to full vitality. Some are in a transitional period moving toward retirement. Some launched new consulting practices or ventures that call on them to show up in new and different ways.

If you find yourself facing or wanting change related to your professional life, start with questions like these: What do you want to change? Why is it important for you? What will it take to get started — or keep moving forward?

All change starts with how you think

How do you consider and orient yourself to all that is possible? What’s your frame of mind? Do you believe in yourself, believe that you can explore change and make change?

If you steer your thoughts to curiosity and inquiry, if you connect to what you want, and ask yourself questions like, “What if it’s possible that…?” and “What small next step might I take?” then making change will be easier for you.

If you find yourself veering into negative territory, like doubt or fear, start with reminding yourself of how much you have been able to do in many other moments of your life. Then aim for making small positive changes (like the ones at the top of the list above). See how they light you up and inspire you. Next, remind yourself that you can choose the thoughts to focus on. Consciously choose to focus on curiosity and stay in inquiry.

Next, set intentions

When you are aware of your thinking and start to get an idea for change you want to make, set intentions. Make your intentions clear, but do not get overwhelmed by setting grand intentions.

You may want to start by setting a small intention, such as scheduling 10 minutes to do a new form of stretching when you wake up each day, or trying to cook a new fresh food twice a week.

You may set a somewhat bigger intention related to your career, like reaching out to ask for information from someone in a field you are exploring.

Once you set the intention, commit to following through. You may want to ask someone to help you stay accountable, with a quick daily or weekly check-in.

Aim to make small, incremental change

Even if you long to make a big change in your life, this is the time to take small steps. Small consistent steps are the surest path to reaping big results!

We tend to minimize the importance of small steps. We believe that we must be bold, and go big to make progress and to feel proud of ourselves.

That’s a myth!

Taking small steps, one after another, is an incredibly powerful way to build confidence, build momentum and reach great outcomes. Small consistent steps make us resilient when set-backs show up. We keep going. And we build new habits that serve us well in many dimensions of our lives.

Make the most of this season of opportunity! I would be delighted to hear about the changes you are initiating. Leave a comment to share.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

If you avoid discomfort you’re not alone

Human beings like to be comfortable. And who can blame us? Feeling comfortable — physically and emotionally — is certainly nicer than discomfort.

But staying in our comfort zone, avoiding the discomfort of stepping up to try new things and experience personal growth, is different.

Because when we stay static, play safe, or live a small version of what is possible for us, just to remain comfortable, we cheat ourselves.

As I wrote last week, even accomplished women who yearn for more — to show up and be fully authentic, to reach for the next level in their work, to live the life they yearn for on their terms — can get mired in doubt and stay stuck.

Why? As much as they may want to change, they resist stepping into that change because they fear it will be uncomfortable.

Is the thought of some discomfort keeping you stuck?

Maybe thoughts like these are holding you back:

• I may not be up to the task — what if I fail?

• I'm really not good enough to do what I’m dreaming of.

• I’m not enough.

• I don’t feel worthy; I do not deserve what I desire.

• I’m afraid of what other people will say — if I can’t make the change, or even if I succeed.

• Some people will disapprove of what I want to do.

• I’ll be horribly embarrassed if I fall short.

• I feel ashamed that it’s taken me so long to get started. It’s easier not to even try.

Yes, even considering these thoughts can get uncomfortable.

And if any of them (or several) ring true for you, you are not alone!

Most people — even super-accomplished people — have had many of these concerns. And many have moved forward in spite of them.

What you may be ready to consider

When you read through the list above, did you feel a stirring to stretch a bit? Might you be willing to get a little uncomfortable and try to take some new steps in your life?

Maybe one or more of these possibilities feel “ripe” for you now:

• I want to go after something new.

• I’m willing to examine my life.

• I want to figure out what’s next for me that will light me up.

• I feel ready to expand and grow.

• I want to be more self-relient, be more in command of my life.

• I want to make a bold move in my career or business or personal life.

• I am ready to bring a new relationship into my life.

• There’s something I am not willing to tolerate any more.

You can safely begin to test the waters

If you responded to something on the list above — or something different and meaningful came up for you — here’s how to start to take small steps toward the expansion and change you seek.

Consider these 4 suggestions:

1. Ask someone you admire if they made it to where they are today without concern about some discomfort.

If they are willing to honestly share with you, you are likely to hear a great story about what it was like for them before, how they faced the discomfort of stepping into change, and how they reached the place they are today.

With that inspiration, think about ways you can get started making some change in your life.

2. Check out my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life.

Lots of people have been telling me how helpful Live Big is for them now. They have shared that doing some of the exercises and practices in various chapters of the book has been really great. The book offers many safe ways to be guided to gently step into making meaningful change. (And, the book is on sale through Thursday, so this is a great time to get a copy for yourself, stock up for gifts, and send copies to friends.)

3. Choose a step to take now, to activate a change.

If, for instance, you want to learn something new, or want to consider a career shift to a new industry, you might search for videos to start exploring what’s involved. You can invite someone with that background to have a virtual coffee date. You can look for a short course to take.

The idea is to start! Even small steps get you in motion, and those small steps will not feel too uncomfortable. From there you can gain momentum.

4. Reach out for help.

Do you have a friend who is interested in making change in her life? You can ask if she wants to be an accountability partner for you, and you for her.

Or better yet, you can ask for the help of a pro.

My journey of expansion and transformation started when I got help. I was not looking for it, but the universe introduced me to a coach, and for the first time in my life, I said “Yes” to getting help.

Was it uncomfortable to be asked big questions I’d never asked myself, and look clearly at my life? You bet it was. But I also felt safe, knowing I was being guided by a brilliant and loving coach every step of the way.

And my life today is the reward.

I have never stopped being coached — in fact I have several coaches now, to support me in different parts of my life and work. That’s how I continue to grow and expand in my life.

Sure, I run up against some discomfort each time I begin to move out of my current comfort zone. But having support makes a world of difference.

If you want to explore what support can look like, let’s talk

I invite you to make a date with me for a Live Big Breakthrough Call — there’s no cost or obligation. I ask only one thing: that you are serious about exploring what making significant change can be like for you.

Share your challenges and your dreams. I’ll provide new insights and perspectives about what’s in your way now, as well as what is possible. And if the fit feels good, we can talk about how I may be able to help you make your dreams a reality.

Click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The power of your mindset may surprise you

I have lots of conversations with women who are contemplating their lives and their futures. I listen to them describe the desires they have and the challenges that stand in their way. As I listen, I tune in to their orientation to themselves and the world.

I listen for signs of a mindset that is limited, or what Carol Dweck calls a “fixed mindset,” as well as indicators that they have what Dweck calls a “growth mindset” in her renowned book, Mindset.

I call that an expansive mindset.

Why do I pay attention to that?

Because the deep work I do with my clients leads to success for those with many characteristics of an expansive mindset.

Someone with a deeply fixed mindset is not able to benefit in the same way. A fixed mindset will not only frustrate her, it will frustrate me.

Your mindset can support you to becoming a powerful creator

Your outlook on the world impacts how you live each day — and how you can begin to live an even more satisfying life tomorrow than today.

And while none of us embodies a expansive mindset in every dimension of our lives, those of us who begin with (or endeavor to fully develop) an expansive mindset have a smoother path to creating a life that truly satisfies them — what I call living big.

What, specifically, does an expansive mindset look like?

• You have an expansive mindset when you appreciate your gifts and talents. And you believe that you can develop and expand those talents and skills.

• You see potential and believe that you can figure things out, rather than being pessimistic or allowing yourself to feel defeated.

• You learn to add a powerful little word to sentences like these: “I don’t know how to do that,” or “I can’t accomplish my goal.” By changing statements like those to: “I don’t know how to do that yet,” and “I haven’t yet accomplished my goal,” you are open and ready and motivated to continue and succeed.

• You believe that you can always learn and grow.

• You believe that you can figure things out — yourself, or with help.

• You try new things without fear. You experiment, and when early attempts fall short, you refine and try new approaches. You focus on solutions, believing in your ability as a creator to find solutions.

• You take consistent action. This means you focus on the journey, not just the destination.

• You learn from every new experience — the great ones, and the tough ones — knowing all of them inform you and help you continue to learn and grow.

• You don’t compare yourself to others (which is always a bad idea). Rather, you are inspired by others, and you can support, encourage and celebrate them — even if they are “ahead” of you in some ways.

• You are true to yourself and your values.

• You keep fear at bay. This doesn't mean you don’t ever feel fear, but you learn to keep it from stopping or limiting you.

• You are open and curious, you listen, and you learn.

• You believe that life is good, even when you are moving through rough patches. When the going is tougher (which is inevitable from time to time), you shift to hope and optimism. You trust yourself.

• You surround yourself with others who are like-minded, who also approach the world with an expansive mindset.

Do you see yourself in this list?

Few of us can “check off” all the boxes on the list above! Even those who have focused on personal development and are doing well need to return to practices that keep them on course with an expansive mindset.

And those who have not yet embarked on personal development work may have more than a few unchecked boxes. That’s ok.

When you start with enough of a foundation in an expansive mindset, and a deep desire to grow and create your ideal life, you can step up to developing more of it.

And you can stay on course, too, especially when you have good tools and when you have support.

Are you looking to leverage your expansive mindset for more growth?

If you want to step up in your life to become the biggest and best version of yourself, and start creating the future you deeply desire, I invite you to share your challenges and your dreams with me. You can also learn how I may be able to help you make those dreams a reality.

Let’s hop on a call. Click here to grab a spot on my calendar. I promise you will gain new insights and perspective on what’s possible for you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.