What are you celebrating now?

Celebrating my birthday with my father was especially sweet!

Last week was special for me. I spent a wonderful week of vacation in New York. I celebrated my birthday, and the side trip I took to spend my birthday with my father made it extra-special!

I savored visits to museums. I saw art that lit me up. I walked and explored. I ate lovely meals and met up with a few wonderful friends. I saw a tour de force of theater I will not soon forget.

It was a week of celebration.

I celebrated the life I have created and am able to vibrantly live.

I celebrated the magnificence of art and creative expression I saw each day.

I celebrated the abundant beauty of Central Park ablaze in autumn color.

I celebrated being able to be safely in the world (thank you, New York, for requiring proof of vaccination to enter museums, theaters and restaurants).

I celebrated love — the love of my sweetheart, my family, dear friends, and kind strangers.

What are you celebrating now?

Every day offers us the opportunity to celebrate — to be filled with gratitude and love.

No matter what has happened in the past, everything you have experienced has brought you to today. Can you celebrate the person you are, the wisdom and insight you have gained, your bravery, your commitment, your contributions? Can you celebrate who you are becoming — informed by all of your past?

Can you celebrate the people in your life? Can you reflect back to them all you see that is celebration-worthy (even the smallest attributes and actions, that they may not be aware of or acknowledge)?

Can you celebrate the magic of creation — all that you create in the world, and all the inspiring creation around you? Consider what people create that delights you and supports your wellbeing. And consider the splendid creation of the natural world around you.

Let’s all celebrate together

When you slow down and bring your awareness to all that you can celebrate each and every day, you will be endlessly fueled with inspiration.

You will feel more alive, more excited, more fully authentic, and more connected to others.

You will be filled with love — for yourself and everyone around you.

This, in turns, inspires more love and spreads love far and wide.

I believe in the power of that love. We can all celebrate it with a whole heart!

Let’s live big together — today and every day.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you stuck in the judgement trap?

Have you ever stopped to think about how often you judge people and things? (I am sorry to confess that I have been a “judger” most of my life!)

I was recently invited to choose an object within view and spend a few minutes judging it — which was easy for me to do!

The next step was to look at the object again, and this time simply observe it.

Wow, what a difference I experienced the second time I looked.

I have been bringing that experience to mind often, and repeating the exercise. It is especially valuable to bring this to mind when interacting with people.

Each time I realize what a gift I give myself when I choose to observe instead of judge.

Try it out for yourself

Let’s say you look across the room and choose to focus on a lamp.

Sit and stare at it and judge it.

Perhaps you will think about a color or shape that you don't care for. Maybe you will judge the design as poor, or think about materials you don’t care for. Maybe you will judge the person who made it or the person who purchased it.

Now, look again. This time simply observe the lamp.

You are likely to notice things such as how the metal reflects ambient light in an interesting way. Or the surface texture of the base. Or how it adds balance to the composition of things sitting near it. Maybe upon closer observation, the material that the shade is made of will fascinate you, or you will be curious about the origin of the overall design.

Pause and think about it the two experiences. You will likely realize that when observing you felt calmer and it was more pleasant, and that it opened your thinking in new ways compared to what it felt like when you judged.

Can you imagine that a shift from judging people to observing them could be even more revelatory?

What happens when we judge other people

When judging others, we often make assumptions about a person’s motives, or ascribe qualities to them that are off base. What follows is often a loss to both you and the person you judged. It can sometimes be tremendously damaging to one or both parties.

We hurt ourselves when we judge, we can cause hurt to those we judge, and we limit what might be a great connection when we judge as a first impulse.

On the other hand, when we choose to observe people rather than judge, we open to deeper and more significant insights.

By choosing to observe and opting to be open and curious, we are inspired to ask good questions. Asking questions bourn from an observer's curiosity and interest in discovery can reveal truths we would never become aware of if we started with judgement.

This small shift can have a huge impact for you

Since my first experience of judging and then observing, I have been bringing the awareness to many encounters in my orbit. I find it to be most meaningful when I think about people — both those I know well, and new people I meet for the first time.

Each time I observe I notice subtleties and find things to appreciate that were not immediately obvious. Questions often come to mind that result in great information or insights. I reap rich gifts when I observe. And I am relieved not to have the kinds of judgmental thoughts I was so accustomed for so much of my past.

I have also shared this suggestion with a number of clients recently. They report finding this practice to be extremely helpful.

And adopting this way of looking at people and things around you is a practice.

Why not give it a try yourself, and see what happens when you practice enough to make it your new way of viewing and engaging with the world?

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to supercharge your thinking

Most people misunderstand creativity, and many are sure they are not creative. (I address this all the time, in podcasts interviews and when I speak to audiences of professional women.)

Rather than try to dispel those misconceptions today, I want to share a simple and actionable insight that anyone can use with ease, and that is sure to ramp up creativity and improve your life.

Put all of your brain power to use!

What, you say? I am not using all of my brain?

We live in a culture that leans hard into left-brain thinking.

We want data, we trust facts, and we look for logic all the time. We believe that by gathering all of that we can devise the best strategies and make our best decisions.

But when we hold that focus, we leave the gifts of our right-brain out of the picture. We fail to benefit from the rich insights and creative resources our right brains are there to provide.

How the right brain works, and what happens when we use it.

The right hemisphere of the brain is where imagination lives. Big ideas, new concepts and fresh thinking are spawned there. All of these can emerge when we understand how to get the best from our right brains.

And it's not hard to do!

Here are a few ways to set the conditions for your right brain to get going:

• Go for a walk around the block.

• Take a shower, or a bath.

• Look at the sky.

• Do some people-watching.

• Doodle.

• Sing or dance or play an instrument.

• Or even do nothing for 10 minutes.

Any of these will give your left brain a rest, allowing the right hemisphere to pick up bits of logic, facts and data and come up with fresh, new, surprising possibilities.

Who hasn’t marveled at how they got a great idea in the shower? Now you know why that happened. You can easily create the conditions for great ideas to show up more often!

Abundant creative ideas are great — and there are even more benefits!

Tapping the right brain and opening creative channels also connects you to your intuition — an immense resource most of us miss as we rush through our days. Listening to your intuition is like having a second brain — there is so much innate wisdom available to you when this connection is clear.

When you make bigger connections to your intuition you will notice that your heart is more open. In that way you’ll connect to your true desires, deeply-held values, and reap more insight. That insight leads to personal growth.

I witnessed all of this happening with the remarkable women who attended my Live Big Live! retreat last week.

On each of the three days we spent together I included time for their right brains to play and added creative experiences along with teaching, exercises and sharing. I witnessed accelerated insights, open hearts and glorious inspiration as each woman took steps into her future — futures that are truly aligned with who they are, what they want, and what has deep meaning for each of them. It was a joy to see it all unfold.

I invite you to set the stage for more right-brain activation so that you, too, can be more inspired, create with joy, and Live Big.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to explore how Live Big Live! may accelerate your path to living big, schedule a call with me.)

3 questions to ask yourself everyday

Are you getting out to enjoy the wonderful fall weather? Making time to get into nature enriches the soul and the body.

I must admit that it’s been hard for me to make time to get outside and reap the array of pleasures and benefits lately.

With the Live Big Live! retreat coming up this week, family matters that need my attention, and oh so many things I am trying to fit into my day, I have been putting time for myself way down on my list of to-do’s.

Can you relate?

But here’s the thing I know. When I move my self-care up to make it a top to-do, everything else gets better.

Have you tested this out?

Last week I made a point of getting out to take a walk, even when I was super-busy. And, as I have experienced in the past, lots of great things happened as a result.

I felt refreshed — both in body and spirit.

I had time to think without distraction. Ideas started to pop up like crazy.

I waved hello to neighbors I rarely see.

I captured a few photos of beauty that I noticed as I walked past lovely gardens.

I returned to my desk with new energy and perspective, and moved more quickly through a number of tasks that had felt burdensome earlier in the day.

Why do we forget what we have already learned?

As you can imagine, what I described was not a new revelation. I learned long ago that making time for myself, in any number of ways, always pays off.

And I teach this! These lessons are threaded throughout my book!

While I could beat myself up for not staying on track and tending to time for my own well-being, I know that as a human (not a machine!) I am not in a fixed state of being. And modifying my life-long inclination to work hard is an ongoing process.

How to stay aware and get back on track

I have found that asking myself three key questions on a regular basis helps. I created a small reminder card for myself, that I have placed where I see it often.

You might want to grab this PDF and print it out for yourself. Or, write your own key questions. What will prompt you to make time for small ways to boost your well-being and make each day lighter and happier?

By keeping a reminder handy, you will be less likely to fall back into habits that do not support you to live your best life each day.

And, having asked myself these questions again just now, I am stepping away from my desk to feel the sun, breathe fresh air, and enjoy a brisk walk around the block!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you feel the call to greatness?

I have some deep questions to ask you today.

• How big are your dreams?
• What does the future you yearn for look like?
• And as you think about that future, who do you want and need to BECOME to make that life a reality?

I know these can be challenging questions to consider. And I know, too, that if you shy away from them, you will miss out on a huge opportunity to become a creator of the bigger, more fulfilling future that is possible for you.

I know because it wasn't so long ago that I did not dare to ask myself questions like these.

What’s holding you back?

Maybe, like I did a decade ago, things feel safe for you now, and it feels comfortable to maintain the status quo. And yet deep inside you sense that you are settling (even settling for something that's good), knowing that more is possible.

Maybe, like many of my clients, you have a desire to make a bold move — to go for that next level in your career, or start or grow a business, or step into your power in other ways — but doubt that it’s possible, or that you can do it on your own.

Maybe, like many women, for many reasons, you feel the urge to make a change but don’t know what you want in the next stage of your life.

Maybe your confidence has taken a hit along the way, which compounds the confusion or the feeling that you are stuck.

Maybe it just feels too daunting to consider stepping into a bigger version of yourself.

Maybe you feel the desire but don't know how to get started, or how to reach for your dreams.

What if you had support?

Having lived through a massive transition in my own life, I know creating a new reality entails three things.

Start with willingness — willing to believe in yourself, and willing to get help. When I realized my life could light me up in bigger ways, I was willing to step into creating a bigger future. And felt I could safely do that with a great guide.

Next, believe — believe that you matter, and believe in your ability to take steps toward a life that will bring you new levels of satisfaction and joy.

Then commit — to yourself. That means making commitments to be focused and to implement changes that will be life-changing.

I learned that all of these are easier to bring into your life — and lead to bigger results — when you have support.

This can be your time.

If the questions I posed have stirred a knowing inside, the sensation that it is time to step into your power in a bigger way, create a future where you show up as you best self, and bring more of your greatness into the world, then read on.

Last year at this time I created a new way to support accomplished women like you.

Both my private clients and group clients had been making life-changing transformations, and I wanted to bring the best of both coaching approaches together. I designed a new signature program, Live Big Live!, that gets enormous results, in a more compressed time. And, I designed it so that busy women like you can comfortably fit it into their lives.

Three cohorts of remarkable women have experienced Live Big Live! in the last year, and their lives have been transformed. (You can see what past attendees of Live Big Live had to say about their experiences in some lovely short videos.)

The Fall 2021 program is about to kick off — and there are still a few spots left in this intimate program, One may be perfect for you.

I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon. We’ll talk about your deep desires, your questions and concerns, and what's possible for you. We’ll explore if Live Big Live! is a fit for you — and if not, there’s no problem. We’ll sort out your next best step.

When you become a leader in your life and start to truly live big, you will be a force of change in the world. You deserve that, and we all need that.

Our conversation can be your first step into that remarkable future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Even perfectionists can learn to love mistakes

Kintsugi restoration of a broken bowl

Many of us struggle with perfectionism to one degree or another.

I was burdened with a compulsive drive for perfection for much of my life. I strove to make perfect decisions (a topic I wrote about in a recent blog post).

I tried to make everything I wrote or created as perfect as could be.

I struggled to look as perfect as possible, and watched the way I spoke, for fear of being judged as not good enough.

And on it went.

Perfectionism was so much a part of my life that my children teased me about how “picky” I was. It was said with humor, but the fact that young teenagers commented on it is evidence of how much perfectionism showed up in my life.

When I look back now I recall how exhausting it was to constantly struggle for perfection.

The gift of choosing a new way to live

A huge gift for me — that is available to you, too — is one I have enjoyed on my journey of change and growth in the last decade. In short, it’s the feeling of liberation I experienced as I loosened my grip on perfectionism.

You can begin to shift away from perfectionism by practicing Self-Love. Self-Love is a fascinating a topic that I write and speak about often, and about which I created a short guide, that you can download for free.

The guide will also help you understand the role of perfectionism as one of a number of ways your Self-Critic attempts to sabotage you. You will get an array of suggestions to start freeing yourself from the restraints of your Self-Critic.

Having brought an awareness to how harmful perfectionism was for me, and practicing ways to release it, I am now able to celebrate the “good” without experiencing the anxiety of aiming for “perfect.”

I allow myself to explore and experiment with ease. And I appreciate the gifts of creating and exploring no matter what the outcomes are. I’ve embraced the realization that even “failures” offer wonderful opportunities.

Letting go of the tension associated with perfectionism has been a gift that has kept on giving!

Magic can show up when you make mistakes!

When you chose to feel free and try new things without fear of less-than-stellar outcomes, magic can happen.

Things that seemed like “mistakes” to me before have often lead to marvelous end results.

And looking back I see that I often did not have the experience of enough “mistakes.” My fear of trying new things because I was preoccupied about them falling short of my idealized standards, kept “mistakes” from happening that might have become breakthroughs.

When you start without aiming for perfection, you, too, will find your mind and your heart opening up to lots of ideas and possibilities. These ideas will feel ripe for testing and exploration, and you can choose those that you want to play with.

It’s in the process of trying new things without fear that we learn and discover.

We learn what works and what doesn’t (the “mistakes”), and in many situations we discover surprises of all sorts. You can then follow the surprises and find solutions or results that may go far beyond what would have been possible had you not felt free enough to test and play with them.

You might even fall in love with imperfection

When you allow yourself to embrace it all without feeling that everything must always be perfect, you see the world differently. You see possibilities and appreciate beauty where you once would have seen mistakes or brokenness.

You may be familiar with the marvelous Japanese art of Kintsugi, which is an ancient practice of restoring things that are broken and celebrating the fractures by highlighting them with gold.

Check out this lovely BBC video to see how Kintsugi is made, and the magnificent outcomes of this art.

Then consider the possibilities in your own life, to create magnificently — even from fragments of past imperfection.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you struggle when making decisions?

Do you dither?

It can be challenging to be decisive. Even the smartest people can find it hard to make decisions — chronically or sporadically.

I recall this challenge myself, years back, when I owned my design firm. I was asked by my team to please make faster decisions!

I was aware of taking my time to be sure I was thinking things through carefully, but had no idea that my slow decision-making was a problem for my team. I was holding them up.

They assured me that even if I made an “imperfect” decision, they would be fine moving ahead and we could course-correct if needed.

Did it sting to hear that? It did a little. Was it helpful to hear it? Yes!

Why it can be hard to make decisions

In my case, indecisiveness was rooted in perfectionism.

I had a deep-seated belief that I had to be perfect — and perfectionism is a powerful way the self-critic loves to show up to sabotage us. (You can read more about perfectionism and what to do about it here.)

I came to realized that I thought there had to be a perfect solution in response to any question or choice. Thus, deep down I felt that every decision I made had to be perfect.

Overly-deliberating about decisions was just one of many ways that perfectionism got in my way in those days! I was not conscious of it then, but it became clear that perfectionism was the underlying driver of my indecisiveness.

Fear — of failure, of conflict, of judgement, and more — is another cause of indecisiveness.

Fear is another huge way the self-critic steps in to limit us.

(You can learn about the self-critic, and the role of self-love to cope with the many ways the self-critic shows up, in the free guide I offer as a gift in my book.)

Fear of failure is incredibly common, and it’s a close cousin of perfectionism.

Many people fear making decisions because their decision may rock the boat and cause conflict. Or they fear that others will criticize their choice.

Some fear feeling remorse for a decision.

Fears like these can prompt people to push off making any decision at all.

Perhaps you are an over-thinker.

Some people believe they must think everything through from every possible vantage point. And there are times when it is wise to be very thorough in reviewing a matter.

However, over-thinking can become a habit and a crutch. It is often an indicator that procrastination is at play (and procrastination is yet another way the self-critic steps in to get in our way). 

Anxiety or depression may be making it hard for you to make decisions.

Anxiety and depression can make it very difficult for people to make decisions. The need to make decisions can make them feel overwhelmed. 

How I made faster decisions with less stress

The insight that I was holding others up by being indecisive, and hearing that they welcomed me to make faster decisions without assurance that my decisions would all be perfect (which is, of course, impossible to predict) freed me. 

I was able to trust myself to make decisions. I had “permission” to refine and make changes from that point forward.

It was a game-changer for me!

It opened the way for me to think expansively about what was possible, listen to my intuition, and make faster decisions.

I came to appreciate that I could continue to modify and create next steps as we moved forward.

Decisions that had felt so monumental began to look like steps along a path that was ongoing and full of possibility.

Adopting this approach can work similarly if fear is the factor that drives indecision, or over-thinking and procrastination are the root cause.

If you are aware that anxiety or depression are factors for you, I suggest you talk about that with a counselor, therapist or another medical professional.

What decisions are you making now?

As the world is opening up now, we have many new opportunities and many of us face making decisions of all sorts.

This can be exciting, or can bring on a sense of overwhelm. 

I urge you to try and approach making decisions with a new frame of mind, much as I learned to do. 

And if you feel called to make decisions now about the future you want to create, I’d be glad to meet with you. The next Live Big Live! starts soon, and it may be a great resource for you at this moment when so much possibility is on the horizon. 

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. There's no obligation or cost for us to talk.

Scheduling this call may prove to be the best decision you make today.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How free do you feel?

Having celebrated Independence Day this past weekend, there’s been a lot of  focus on independence and freedom.

These are expansive topics, and they can be explored from many perspectives.

What is coming up for me — aside from the ways we can give thought to independence and freedom through the important lens of our nation and its inhabitants — is personal freedom, and how we declare our own independence.

How do you feel free in your life?

Consider when and in what ways you most feel free.

Think, too, about how you may feel constrained or, perhaps, how you may deeply yearn to feel more free.

Perhaps your work, your relationships, or your finances come to mind.

Perhaps your heart feels caged.

There may be a part of you that yearns to be expressed.

Perhaps you perceive the constraints to be external or in the hands of other people. Or maybe you know you have the power to make a change to feel freer, but don’t know how, or have not found the courage. 

Are there ways you want to feel wildly free, but you hold back (a little, or a lot)?

I invite you to spend some time exploring this topic.

Pull out a journal, set a timer for 10 minutes and do some free writing, to see what comes up. You might try the Discovery Dozen™ exercises on page 29 of my book, to explore what feeling free really means to you. Those prompts can reveal thoughts that are deeply buried in you heart.

Do you feel ready to declare personal independence?

For years, questions about feeling free never came up for me. I lived day-to-day-to-day without deep reflection. I did not even consider the subject.

After I started working with a coach and waking up in my life, I started activating creative thinking and creative expression.

As a result, the feeling of being free started to show up in ways that surprised and delighted me. I began to consciously appreciate and explore this feeling, and to expand it in as many ways as possible. Soon, every part of my life felt more vibrant.

It was from that place of feeling free that I declared my independence — from a life that was good, to pursue a life that was exceptional.

I was tired of settling for the status quo and wanted to spread my wings and freely create my next chapter. 

If you’ve been a reader of my blog for a while (or read my story on this site) you know that in 2011 I sold the business I owned for 27 years and embarked on a new path. I could not foresee the destination, but here I am, doing coaching work I truly love, in a marriage that has become even stronger and happier than before, having written a book I am proud of, and having become a painter.

Living with this freedom and personal independence is something I celebrate and feel grateful for every day.

Have I “arrived”?

Hardly. 

Each day offers me opportunities to open more.

On some days, the feeling of freedom eludes me, and I have to find it anew and claim it again. It’s easy to fall back into old limiting states of mind.

It’s the ongoing pursuit of feeling free, being willing to take new steps toward it when I backslide, believing in myself and feeling worthy of this way of living, and committing to the ongoing process of the exploration that has carried me forward.

Step into defining freedom for yourself

If you want to talk about what freedom can look like for you, and making it a reality, the timing could not be better.

The preparatory journey that will culminate in Live Big Live! this fall is starting soon.

Live Big Live! is powerful program, designed to give you enormous clarity about the life and work you want to create. You will be supported to begin to create a future filled with the freedom you want, with tools to help you each step of the way.

We can make a date to talk about what’s in the way for you now and the future you dream of. Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me directly — click here to find a spot on my calendar. There's no obligation or cost for us to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The sure way to create the life you want

The glorious Sunset when I arrived at the retreat center in the Smokey Mountains

Last week I attended a life-changing retreat.

Before I left I considered the “cost” of three days out of the office. I felt sad to miss my son’s birthday celebration. I did not relish the prospect of taking two flights each way.

And, this trip meant postponing a long-awaited hair appointment for a week — as my salon was reopening after renovations. (Those with short hair get that this was a big deal!)

And in spite of all of that, my heart knew this was going to be important. I just could not have foreseen how much would shift and open and expand.

Great coaches have changed my life

When I started working with my first amazing coach, Peleg Top, I experienced remarkable change. I began to truly wake up in my life. A year and a half into our deep work, I realized I wanted to sell my business because it no longer lit me up — and I wanted to be lit up every day!

Peleg and I worked together through my exploration of creativity and he mentored me as I created my coaching practice. I came to know this was the work I wanted to do — work that would excite me every day and have a huge impact for other women. I wanted to guide them to identify their true desires, and tune into the powerful resources inside themselves to create their best futures and live big.

Peleg and I are still close. He continues to guide and inspire me. And we often collaborate.

And for the last year and a half I’ve worked with another brilliant coach, Michelle Villalobos. Michelle’s genius is to help her clients create and build businesses they love. She couples that with guidance for deep personal growth. The focus on personal growth — who I need to BE to live my biggest life — has proven to be a key foundation for stepping into more visibility and more impact in the world.

The time spent at the retreat last week ushered in an exciting new wave of expansion that I will be processing for quite a while.

A great coach can change your life

I rarely look back with regret, but if I could turn back the clock I’d have begun working with a coach a lot sooner. I can only imagine the way my life might have unfolded with that kind of support a decade earlier!

If you work with a coach you love, that’s terrific.

If you have never worked with a coach, I invite to look for someone who is a fit for you and who you believe can guide you to where you want to go in your life. Make a commitment and do the work.

And get ready for a wonderful ride!

It will surely bring up discomfort as you are asked new questions and you wake up in your life. There’s no way to know what it will feel like to begin to approach your life and work through new eyes and a more open heart, and courageously start living in new ways.

There will be rich rewards when you commit and stay with it.

You’ll be guided to bring new and bigger perspectives to your life and explore with new levels of curiosity. You will be supported to bring new levels of creativity into your thinking, and get really clear about what you want your future to look like.

You will start to bring all of yourself and your gifts into the world, with confidence and grace.

You will experience happiness and satisfaction in yourself, your relationships, and your work that will delight you as you move up to each next level.

I want that for you.

We can talk about what it could look like to work together, and see if the fit is good.

Or you may want to consider other coaches to support you. There are great coaches out there, and one is certainly a match for where you are right now.

I’ll be happy to know that you are getting support to create your best life. After all, if more of us do that and stay committed to ever-expanding growth, our collective personal growth will impact the well-being of people everywhere.

That’s how we can each make our own lives better as we make this a better world.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to talk about your life and creating your best future, grab a spot on my calendar and we’ll have a Live Big Breakthrough Call.)

You can let go of fear and perfectionism, too!

It’s June! As we head into the summer, and having been vaccinated so we can start reconnecting with the world, I am reflecting on what was happening in my life last year at this time.

Of course, we were in lockdown and unsure about how long our confined way of living would last. Months of living in the pandemic served as an impetus for me to think about how I wanted to make changes in my life.

That’s when I started to create something new. Something bold.

I realized wanted to work with clients in a new way. I wanted to serve them at an even higher level, so they would reap even bigger results, and I wanted to design a program that would allow for more joy in my life.

I yearned for more time to write and more time to paint. I craved more unscheduled space in my life, which is something I help my clients do all the time, but had not done so much for myself. It was time to make a change.

My creative process was different last year than in the past

Like many people, when I embark on creating something big from scratch, I feel excited anticipation mixed with feelings of uncertainty about the outcome.

Years ago, that uncertainty made me super-nervous. I had been a perfectionist for most of my life.

Because I was so consumed with being sure the outcomes would be great, there were things I dreamed of doing but never started. And there were things I started and either did not finish, or spent so much time perfecting that they took way longer to bring into the world than they might have. I also endure a huge amount of stress along the way.

But having learned to be a creator in every part of my life over the last decade, I now welcome the process of diving in, ideating, testing, iterating, and seeing how things go. Going through the creative process without trepidation is amazing!

I trust myself and find joy in creating in a bold way — even when the quality of the end product can’t be foreseen or guaranteed at the start.

What I created changed me, and changed my clients

What I launched last August was my first Live Big Live! program — the first of what are now three retreats I lead each year.

And I just had the joy of leading the third Live Big Live! — for Spring 2021. The retreat took place last Thursday, Friday and Saturday and I am still processing the experience.

And while every part of the three days we spent together at the retreat was amazing, the program actually started 45 days before. I decided, as I created the program, that I wanted women to have a deeper experience than would be possible if we came together for three days without a foundation.

The remarkable group of women in this cohort started on their path to Living Big on April 18. They were immersed in a 6-week preparatory journey together. It provided self exploration and enabled them to arrive at the retreat having bonded as a group, and ready to do truly transformative work.

I witnessed each of them step into new ways of trusting themselves, and I witnessed them release fear.

I witnessed generous support for one another as they each went deep into their hearts to connect to their desires and shape their visions for the future.

I also witnessed them do powerful creative work each day at the retreat, where clarity emerged, insights appeared and new possibilities were realized.

And while we hit on many tender places and tears were shed from time to time, I witnessed joy, delight and celebration.

I have been able to combine the power of group and private coaching, and usher in life-changing transformations in ways that bring me enormous joy. This creative endeavor, that I initiated a year ago, has resulted in all of the outcomes I was seeking.

What are you ready to create in your life?

Is it time for you to figure out what’s next, or get unstuck? Time to stop living with fear as the driver? Time to get help navigating a transition? Are you ready to break through barriers in your work or business, or reach higher than ever before? Do you sense there’s more that’s possible for you, but cannot figure it out?

The next Live Big Live! will kick off in mid-August, for a retreat at the start of October. I am already in conversation with women about the next retreat, and I am delighted that it will be live again (as we were able to be last October).

It’s not too soon to think about this opportunity.

If you are ready to bring remarkable change into your life with love, support, and guidance, and ready to create your future with clarity and confidence, let’s talk soon.

To learn more about Live Big Live! and to see if you’d be a fit to join us, you can set up a free call with me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

There’s a superpower you can claim today

On Saturday night I returned from a 3-day retreat that fired-up me up with energy and inspiration! The energy of that time away, in the company of a great leader and truly remarkable people, carried me though the weekend and is lighting me up as I’m heading into the week.

While energy was a theme we kept coming back to in the big work we did together at the retreat, it is something I am always aware of.

And energy is an important focus of my coaching work.

The energy you bring to everything you do matters more than you may realize

Think of something that makes you feel excited, full of energy. What do you love to do that lights you up?

That feeling is what my coach and mentor calls feeling “energy-rich.”

She believes in creating a business that is centered on doing what is energy-rich for you, and steering away from things that drain your energy. (That said, there are things we all must do that are not in our sweet-spot for high energy. In those cases, planning to get help will lead to success with more ease.)

Because when you focus on the things that are energy-rich — whatever they are for you — everything is easier, goes better, and is more fun.

And, the energy you bring to everything in your life works the same way!

Your energy impacts your outcomes

Living and working with a focus on a mission or purpose gives you a head-start on bringing good energy to your tasks each day.

But even then, we all have challenges that pull our energy down.

The first step is to notice when you feel “energy-poor,” then identify what’s pulling your energy down.

Rather than muscling ahead while feeling low, see if you can make it a practice to pay attention to how you are feeling. When you pause with intention and notice that your energy is lagging, you can explore the reason your energy is low.

You might want to use my Discovery Dozen™ tool (it’s provided in many of the exercises in my book, Live Big, and can be adapted in countless ways) to get to the root causes. Or you can start by considering questions like these:

Did you have a bad night’s sleep, or eat poorly?

Did you slip into comparing yourself to someone, or feeling like an impostor?

Do you doubt your ability to do a task or project well enough?

Are you feeling afraid? Of what?

I always suggest that you jot down the thoughts that come to mind as you answer questions like these. Writing by hand, and exploring the reasons, can accelerate your clarity.

Next, look for ways to shift back to a more positive energetic state.

If you can rectify something with ease — like eating a nutritious meal, or taking a nap, or walking around the block — by all means start there. Maybe you will want to place a call to someone who believes in you, who can remind you that you have done hard things before, to give you a boost of confidence and love.

And it’s always helpful to reconnect to why this task, or project, important.

Why did you choose it or say “Yes” to doing it? Why is this conversation, or project, or effort important? Why does this matter? The answers can be a great way for you to find good energy.

And if you consider the why, and realize there isn’t a good one there —maybe you said “Yes” just to please someone or avoid conflict, or you realize this is not meaningful for you, or you realize you can delegate the task to someone else, or maybe it is not aligned to your integrity — you can make a new decision. Saying “No” may be the decision that brings you back to a high energetic state.

Your energy can be a super-power

When you focus on staying in a state of high energy, and learn to feel the feelings and restore your energy when it flags, you will notice real shifts in your life.

Remember that the energy with which you create anything will impact the quality of what you create! Because when you are fueled with excitement, motivation, purpose, and joy, everything that you create will be enriched!

Why not start every day with the intention to be aware of your energy, and to stay as energy-rich as possible?

This is one practice anyone can do, and it can become a habit. After a while it can become as automatic as brushing your teeth each day.

Can you imagine feeling energy-rich throughout your body? I invite you to embody that feeling!

Right now, consider what the rest of today can look like with that awareness and intention. Now get started and see how it goes!

I’d be delighted for you to email me or leave a comment to let me know how you experience magic in your life when you focus on feeling energy-rich each day.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you struggle when things go south?

As much as we strive to do our best and steer our lives with intention, it’s inevitable that we experience setbacks, disappointments, and failures.

The feelings we experience in those situations can range from annoyed to frustrated to crushed.

And it’s in those moments that fear and doubt can take over.

So, how can you respond instead?

Ask yourself this question:

“Where are the gifts?”

Even the most challenging situations can offer us gifts.

The pandemic we have lived through comes immediately to mind, but life is frequently messy. We lose people we love. We get fired from a job or lose a major client. Relationships fall apart. Project outcomes fall short.

When there are big hits, or small events that don’t go well, we have the opportunity to choose the lens through which to look.

When we look for them, we can find gifts, both small ones, and often bigger gifts.

Here are some gifts to look for

When you look for the gifts in any situation, you are oriented to the positive, and that helps you feel better in the moment. You can see opportunities and possibilities. Your energy shifts in ways that turn any situation around faster.

The gifts can be small and subtle — and those are terrific.

You might consider posing questions like these:

• What lessons can I take away from this disappointment or failure?

• What opportunities might be opening up, that I can see now?

• How can I appreciate kindness that was offered to me?

• How can I appreciate and celebrate the ways I took a risk, or spoke up, or created something in a new way, or helped in a situation?

• What new ways to work, or connect, or create, or think are possible now?

• Where has space opened up for things I like or want to do, such as cooking, getting outdoors, playing an instrument, learning something I’ve been curious about?

• What if it’s possible that new and better things will soon be coming, that I cannot even see right now?

Can you envision how referring to this list of questions could help you steer clear of an emotional nose-dive?

Any of them can help you shift your perspective, support you emotionally, and help you move forward in a more positive way.

Consider how you can use these ideas each day

We always have the opportunity to view our circumstances with fresh eyes and choose the way to move forward.

Even in small moments when you find yourself feeling let down or disappointed, think positively and consider that good can lie ahead.

And think creatively. Because we can create all the time.

Consider that in every moment, and with every choice we make for what to say or do next, we have a creative opportunity.

Leave a comment to share the ways you have chosen a positive frame of mind, and created your way forward when challenges have shown up in your life.

And if you want to talk about how to bring more creative activation into your life, to move beyond what limits you, let’s talk. I’d be glad to help you gain new insights and perspectives on what’s in the way, as well as what’s possible for you. Click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Is it time to take the wheel in your life?

Most of us do not consider that every morning we have the opportunity to intentionally set our course.

We typically wake up and move through the day focused on set routines and the demands that are in front of us — emails, texts, deadlines to meet, other peoples’ agendas.

We aim to make it through the hectic day so we can wind down in the evening and go to bed — to start all over again tomorrow.

Even those of us who build in exercise, who take care to eat healthy foods, who make time to connect to important people in our lives, often live on auto-pilot.

Few people step back and consider the big picture.

Few ask questions like:

“What do I value?”
“What do I really want?”
“Where do I want to be, and what do I want to be doing at this time next year?”

And without answers to those questions, they fail to set a clear course to a destination that aligns to their values and desires, and that will lead to the richest life they can live.

Without a clear destination you can’t set a course

Most of us drift. We are not lazy, but we move through days, weeks and months and even years without considering where we want our lives to take us.

Is it easy to drift? Sure.

Is drifting the path to a life that is fully satisfying? Rarely.

Are you ready to set a course and take the wheel?

Maybe you’re feeling a wake-up call to pay attention, make decisions, and start to live with more clarity and intention.

But even those who have been feeling an urge for some time to figure out what’s next, or make a change in their lives they know they want, can feel unsure about how to start to approach decisions about big life matters.

Ask yourself these 3 questions to get started

1. Who do I need to BE to live my best life?

Everything we want for ourselves — great relationships, work that lights us up, making an impact on the world around us, creating in ways we love, and more — starts with our state of being, how we show up in the world.

Ask yourself who you need to BE to live the life you yearn for. Do you need to be more patient, more self-loving, bolder, less fearful? Do you need to slow down and be more thoughtful rather than reacting all the time?

Do some writing to explore the ways you want to show up in your life, and how you can begin to cultivate those ways of being.

2. What do I long to DO, and what do I want to HAVE in my life?

With clarity about who you want to BE to live your best life, think about the things you want to DO. Sit and write a list of 10 things or more that you want to do in the next year.

Do you want to change jobs? Plant a garden? Travel to a specific destination? Declutter and beautiful your home? Adopt a pet?

Next, think about what you want to have. You may long for tangible things, like a home in a beautiful setting or a new car, or intangible things like peace of mind or more time to read. Write down as many things as you like that you want to have this year.

3. What can my dream life look and feel like a year from now?

I am a big believer in the power of envisioning what you want. The more vivid you can make the vision look and feel, the easier it is to begin to live it.

So, sit down and write yourself a letter.

Write the letter to yourself today, from you a year from now.

Let your future-self tell you all of the great things you have done in the year. And, tell yourself how you did them all!

Describe the courage you mustered to make great decisions. Describe the wonderful changes and experiences you have had. Tell the you of today how proud you are of the person you became to make it all happen!

After you’ve written and reread your letter, put it where you can pull it out each month to read again. Add a note to your calendar for the first day of each month to remind you to read it.

Each time you read the letter you can consider how your are showing up in your life now, and what you are doing to move forward on the path you envisioned.

Get up to speed and then move onto the highway

Making significant change in your life is not a quick process that you tackle in a day nor is your ideal life a destination you arrive at after one quick ride.

True transformation takes time. It means starting with small, focused steps that prepare you to take bigger steps. These ultimately lead to the big outcomes you want.

Start gently and don’t give up. Keep momentum building — keep moving forward on your journey. That’s how you will confidently take the wheel and accelerate the process as you move ahead.

If you are committed to making meaningful change in your life — to creating the life you truly desire — and you want support to do it, we can talk. Click here to book a call with me.
I know that I would not be living the big life I love without help!

Tell me what you dream of and what’s in the way. I’ll give you new insights and perspectives.

And we can explore the possibility for you to join my Live Big Live! retreat, to step into BIG creation of your best life with an amazing group of other women who are ready to step into the lives they long for and deserve.

The next retreat starts soon, and there are only a few spots open, so schedule your Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon.

Of course, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine — and I may have something else to offer you that can help.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Where are you headed and who do you want to be?

Are you tired?

Do you drive yourself, always doing, and rarely allowing space for considering how you want to BE in your life?

Do you live without considering what really matters to you, or how you want to feel each day?

Do you have a compass set for where you’re headed in your life, or are you drifting?

These are all themes that came up on Sunday, when I had the great pleasure to co-lead a virtual Vision Board Party, attended by 50 people from all over the world, with my long-time mentor and colleague, Peleg Top.

After years of leading my powerful vision board workshops in person in Boston, this was a new experience for me. I had no idea what it would be like in the Zoom environment.

In short, it was a fabulous afternoon.

Seeing what happened for everyone in the space we created, guiding them to move through a process that got everyone focused, clear and energized, and then hearing the insights shared by so many, was remarkable.

For many participants, this was their first experience creating a vision board. Others found the process helped them go much deeper than when they had made a vision board in the past. And creating in a community was something new for lots of the attendees.

It was gratifying to hear tremendous appreciation for the new foundation they created for their lives, and hear their enthusiasm for moving into the new year with so much clarity.

Are you looking ahead?

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, especially as the holiday season is upon us, the end of the year is nearing, and we are all coping with the challenges of living through the pandemic.

When we do not pause and find quiet, and make space for ourselves to consider what we want to create in our lives, we miss the opportunity to be intentional about how we live.

My invitation to you is to slow down and look ahead.

Think about what you can create to make this season one of meaning and joy, in spite of the need to be socially distanced. How can you create connection, happiness and love in new and special ways?

And while you are in that thoughtful mode, consider who you want to BE in the new year, and what you want to do and have.

Even if you don’t create a vision board, create a vision.

See that vision in your mind’s eye. Savor it. Write about it in your journal.

But don’t stop there.

Think about one step you can take now, one small new way of showing up or taking action, that will help you step into this season and the year ahead as the person you want to BE.

Let’s look ahead together.

I will be a featured speaker on the Anchoring the Consciousness of Oneness World Summit, that is focused on the concept of “oneness” in mind, body and spirit. I am honored to be a part of this special program, and eager to be a participant, too, so I can learn from many other great teachers.

The Summit runs December 21 to 27. By registering you can access the content through April 2021.

And because people who did not make it to the Vision Board Party on Sunday have been asking, I am planning to offer another virtual Vision Board Experience soon. Stay tuned to hear about the date and how to register.

To take a bigger step into your ideal future, let’s talk.

If you want to make a bigger commitment to yourself and your future, Live Big Live! may be an ideal opportunity. We just launched, but 2 more women can still join this powerful program and not miss a beat.

Check out what the first group had to say about their experience. If you want to hear more, let’s have a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the fit for you — now, or when Live Big Live! starts again in March.

Stay safe and well, and stay creative.

It's time to demystify “creativity” and start living it!

I have a question for you: Are you open and willing to be creative?

I know that for many people this is a scary proposition. For others the question broaches a topic that is interpreted in so many ways that it’s hard to know how to begin to think about it.

Here’s some perspective that may help you consider the question for yourself.

Being creative means...

So many brilliant people have offered definitions of what it means to be creative. I will throw out a few ways you can think about creating that I hope will dim any fear or confusion.

Being creative means…

• being willing to think about things in a new way

• being willing to take a chance and do something new and different

• being excited about new possibilities and dreaming up what those might look like

• being willing to play and experiment

• slowing down — instead of reacting reflexively — and considering what your best options are or what might be possible

When you consider being creative in these ways, I hope it does not feel so hard to imagine yourself being a creator.

I hope it doesn't feel like creating is only for those “talented” people, like painters and novelists and musicians.

Rather, creating is something we can all do all the time, and being a creator can lead us all into a better future!

Consider this scenario

I was in a conversation with a brilliant business owner. We talked about the challenges of connecting to new prospects for her high-touch service business now that their tried and true approaches of the past have become impossible to use in the pandemic.

Yes, things are different now.

And, there is an opportunity to try something new — to not only connect, but to make a distinctive impression and make a meaningful connection in a surprising way. We brainstormed about several exciting possibilities.

When the question arose about how people would likely respond to such novel approaches, I suggested she might ask some current clients how they’d respond to the ideas. Outreach like that has a bonus, too. It’s an opportunity to connect to key current clients and hear how they are doing and what’s on their minds. She was excited to bring the new ideas to her senior team.

All of these possibilities grew from a concern about how hard it is to operate within the constraints of these times. By thinking in new ways, by getting curious and playful as we considered what might be possible, new ideas started to emerge quickly.

I can’t wait to hear the outcome of their new efforts.

When we focus on what’s possible, things change

It’s easy to feel stuck and stymied — about personal matters and in our businesses, our work and our careers.

When we can relax and begin to generate ideas without feeling like every one of them has to be great, we start to find directions that are exciting to explore and test. We have a whole new level of energy. Our spirits are lifted. We are motivated and excited.

We have never needed to be creative more than now!

And keep in mind that we get what we focus on. So, check in with yourself frequently and take note of where you are focusing.

What do you plan to focus on now?

Can you shift gears and focus on new possibilities? New ways of living that will bring you new levels of joy and satisfaction? New ways of serving your clients or doing your work? New ways of interacting with others, in every sphere of your life?

Can you bring a focus to gratitude for all the good in your life right now — especially in this holiday week when we collectively focus on thankfulness?

With gratitude as a foundation, you can more easily layer on the open mindset of being a creator, as you bring your focus to what matters to you.

Cultivate the joy of creating and watch what happens!

As the days are long, dark, cold and often wet, you can chose to activate the joy of creating.

Here are four possibilities:

1. Join me for an evening of shared creative fun at IgNight — now on Zoom, so you can join from anywhere! Each month we gather to create in a new, inspiring way.

2. Get your copy of Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life and dive into the terrific practices that will help you to create exciting change in your life.

3. Make a vision board with me on December 13, when I join my long-time mentor and colleague, Peleg Top, as a guest teacher for a virtual Vision Board Party! Making a vision board now is a great way to step into 2021 with clarity.

4. Check out Live Big Live!, the powerful new program I created last summer that was life-changing for the first group of women who experienced it. The next Live Big Live! will launch soon, and will support another great group of like-minded women to close out 2020 on a high note and move into 2021 as remarkable creators of the visions they define for their futures.

Stay safe and well, enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving, and keep creating.

Are you ready for a new beginning?

This is a big week for me.

It started on a great note — the tension of waiting for the election outcome ended, and the result fills me with optimism and hope for all that is possible for our country.

I am thrilled, too, that a woman has been elected to be our next vice president. And, equally momentous, it is great that a woman of color will hold this high office.

And I will be celebrating my birthday this week. I am grateful to look ahead to a year of so many new possibilities.

New beginnings feel wonderful.

We need not wait for a landmark election, or a birthday, or anything else to think about what is possible for ourselves.

We are always able to take a fresh look, connect to what we truly want to create in our lives, and begin.

For me, living big began with finding a clear vision, asking, “What do I want to create?”

It took some time to shape the clear vision I have today — to lead a movement, so that women (and men) everywhere believe in their ability to powerfully create the lives they want.

And here’s where my vision gets even bigger: As more and more people step into creating the futures that matter to them, they inspire everyone they touch. Vast numbers of people wlll believe that they, too, can be remarkable creators of the futures they desire.

What can it look like to start creating a new vision?

The first step is having clarity about what you want. And having considered that big question, you need to get clear about who you need to be to make your desires a reality.

You may focus on these big questions and find your answers, or you may want to be guided to this clarity — and to begin stepping into a new beginning.

I’ll share a few examples to illustrate what it looks like to get clear about what you want and to step into becoming the person you need to be to make that a reality.

Can you relate to these stories?

• One of the remarkable women who was at my Live Big Live! retreat last month, realized she needed to show up each day in a new way to move forward to a future where she has more agency in her life and more influence in her work. She has begun setting clear boundaries, speaking with more intention, and making self-care a high priority. She is already seeing a big change in the impact she is having in her work, as well as in her close relationships. She is on her way to knowing the career move to pursue next, and she is living a more rewarding life each day.

• Another woman realized how important joy is in her life, and she connected to a deep desire to bring joy to others. She yearns for people everywhere to understand how meaningful it is to choose to bring more joy into everyday life. She is filled with excitement about the many ways she is already stepping into her vision, and the impact she is seeing in others.

• A third woman, who had recently launched a new consulting practice, has more clarity than ever about what she stands for, how she wants to shape her business, how big it can be, and how much of an impact she can have in her industry. She is already signing on new clients who are inspired by her clear leadership and responding to the new ways she’s started to reach out.

How are you inspired? What do you want to create?

If you are feeling optimistic and encouraged about the future we are moving into in our nation, how can you bring that same energy into your life?

Are you content with your status quo, or can you envision new levels of growth, new possibilities, and more joy and satisfaction?

It may feel daunting to imagine taking steps to live a bigger life. For many people, just getting clear about they want is challenging.

If you hear a voice saying that it’s time to get clear about what’s possible, honor that voice. Listen to it, and take a small step to get curious and explore what living big can look like for you.

You might do some journal-writing or share your thoughts and questions with a trusted friend.

When ideas start taking shape you might create a vision board. (Stay tuned to hear about a virtual vision board party I’ll be leading next month.)

You may want to start testing the waters and try out new ways of thinking, new ways of showing up, new steps to take.

Remember — you don’t have to do it all on your own.

A significant step I took, that led to my biggest growth and transformation, was getting help. I let go of the old belief that I had to do everything myself, and that decision proved to be a huge breakthrough in my life.

If you want to talk about what it might look like to step into a new beginning, and what doing that could be like with support and guidance, I invite you to have a conversation with me. I offer my Live Big Breakthrough Call to women who are ready to set their next vision, who are longing for a life that will light them up as never before.

My promise is that you will gain new insights and perspective on what may be holding you back now, as well as what is possible for you. And if you find you are curious about my coaching programs, and if I believe the fit is good, we can talk about the possibilities for working together.

Let’s all step into this time of new beginnings and create a beautiful future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Curious about how core values can help you live big?

It won’t surprise you that I have been thinking a lot about my mother, who died on August 21. (If you missed what I wrote about her last week, treat yourself to some inspiration.)

In my reflections, I have been thinking about the core values in her life, that informed the remarkable imprint she left on everyone who knew her.

Core values are front of mind for me these days. In the work I am doing with a group of remarkable women, I am helping each to go through a process of identifying her core values.

Why?

I believe we benefit enormously when we are clear about our guiding principles. We see ourselves with more clarity and insight. We can not only live with more integrity, we can more easily make decisions and choices that are right for us. And we are better able to create futures that align with who we truly are.

What can core values look like?

My mother’s core values, as I saw them, included:

• creating and elevating beauty in all she did, and inspiring others to see and create beauty

• creativity — she was a fantastic artist and her cooking was legendary 

• love — of family and friends, and she created meaningful new relationships with ease

• hospitality — closely related to love, hosting special gatherings gave her great joy

• striving for perfection — sometimes to an extreme

• justice — she believed in the rights of all people to be treated fairly and afforded opportunity

My mother rarely wavered. She was clear about all she believed in. These values guided her each day of her life.

How do a parent’s values influence you?

As my mother’s daughter, all of her values influenced my life.

Like most children, it was natural for me to try and model myself after my mother. This was mostly for the good. I adopted her love of beauty, I actively strive for social justice, and I love deeply. In time, I became an artist.

But occasionally, as in the case of her focus on perfectionism, the influence was not so positive. It has taken me years to be able to aim for excellence without pushing myself to the impossible extreme of perfectionism.

Can you see yourself through the lens of core values?

As we each grow and evolve through life, we become unique individuals. My list of core values has some overlaps with those I see as my mother’s, but it is unique to me. 

My list begins with love. Love is closely followed by creativity that's paired with curiosity. (Following my curiosity has helped to free me from the perfectionism that hampered me for many decades.)

Happiness, joy and gratitude are core for me. My love of beauty came directly from my mother. Exploration — of ideas and new places — is also on my list. 

Leadership paired with vision; justice paired with tolerance; generativity; and accountability paired with resourcefulness round out my list of values.

What about your values?

Have you thought about the values that guide you? If not, I recommend that you set aside some time to think about them, and identify your short list of what is truly central to the way you live.

Of course there are many attributes that matter to all of us. The challenge is to think of those that are most true, through and through, for you.

For instance, there may be lots of things that are important to you, like honesty, or boldness, dependability, honor, grace, success, uniqueness, patriotism, fidelity, piety, diligence, or security — to randomly name a few possibilities. 

When you think about things that ring true, consider if they are core values for you — if they always guide you. You can consider paired values, or related attributes, as I have in my short list above, as you get to your focused list.

And while you might want to think about where your core values originated, be certain all that you claim are yours! Remove anything on your list that’s imposed, or expected of you by others.

Aim to narrow your list to 6 to 8 core values.

How to use your list.

With your core values in hand, you have the opportunity to think about how you want to live into them.

Are there some values you want to expand, or go deeper with? For me, the realization that I had a long-held deep desire to explore more creative expression, but had allowed fear to limit me for so much of my life, finally supported me to enroll in a painting course. When I stopped stifling a core part of myself, and stepped into being an artist, my life changed in ways I never imagined would be so satisfying.

And remember that there are seasons in life when you can bring more focus to some of your values than had been possible at other times. Perhaps you will explore ways to expand the role of a key value as your life circumstances change.

Can you start to see new possibilities for yourself? Are there new ways to live your core values now, and new ways be bring them into your vision for the future, so you will live your biggest, best life?

Where will your core values take you?

Turning your attention to identifying your core values might feel like another “to-do” you don’t have time for. I get it. Life can be hectic.

And, your life can be enriched by creating space to consider what your core values are, and when you use them as a reference.

Making life decisions that are fully aligned with your values is very empowering. You are likely to feel clearer and bolder about your decisions when you have that resource to refer to.

If you would like to talk about core values and how they can help you move beyond what limits you into a future that will light you up, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can be a powerful creator in your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

My mother’s lessons for all of us

If you read the email I sent to my subscribers last week, you know that I lost my mother, Doris Berenholz, on August 21.

While this has been a very hard and very sad week, it has also been eye opening in many ways.

I was enormously fortunate to have had my mother in my life for over 6 decades. She was 91 years old, and lived a full and rich life. And I am deeply grateful that my father is not only alive, but in good health. Not many people are so fortunate.

And, as much as I thought I knew what this week would bring, and thought that I knew my parents, I have learned so much that has deeply touched me.

Unexpected surprises

Because of COVID, we had a very small graveside funeral for my mother. As much as I missed being with more family and friends, the beautiful intimacy at the service, and in our time spent that afternoon in my sister's magical garden, was truly special. Dear cousins flew and drove to be with us, as did my son and his wife, despite the challenges of travel. And while we could not embrace, we held each other close in our hearts in a way that was remarkable. I hope that my mother's spirit could sense the love we all have for her, and the bonds of love between us.

I am a big believe in the power of love, but even I never expected it to be so palpably felt in this circumstance.

Also because of COVID, we were not able to welcome friends for shiva during the week. Zoom shivas have been going on for months, but this was the first time I was a mourner in such circumstances.

And there were gifts.

We were “with” family and friends from all over the world. That would never have been possible in “normal” times.

I was also able to see and hear from people who loved my mother, who I did not know, or had not seen in decades. One by one, they shared their remembrances of her — much of which I would likely have missed in a crowded room.

We leave a bigger legacy than we know

The most wonderful — and eye-opening — thing that happened, amidst the grief, was hearing so much, from so many people, about how my mother impacted their lives.

My mother touched people in so many lasting ways that I had never realized.

And much of what I did know and appreciate about her was described in ways that expanded and magnified the significance of her gifts.

Her generosity and her facility at starting — and maintaining — friendships was recounted in stories and with details I’d never heard.

She taught so many people meaningful things about cooking, art, and the ways that beauty enriches your life, that have impacted people’s entire lives. And her 70-year love affair with my father was noted as being a model for several marriages.

My mother helped people with advice about great ways to make their kitchens more efficient. She arranged people’s bookshelves with such beauty that they learned how to do the same elsewhere. She even sketched a guest house for cousins in France, that was built just as she drew it! She planned the interior, too, and that has made it a special, cherished place.

More than a few friends of mine and my sisters said they had always wanted to be the “the fourth Berenholz daughter” and live with my family. My mother was the person a number of teenage girls came to when they felt misunderstood by their parents. They also talked about all they learned from her, about art, food,  and surrounding yourself with beauty. One became an artist after my mother gave her an easel and oil paints. (All three of Mom’s daughters are artists, too.)

Girl Scouts from the troop she led in the 60’s talked about and sent us notes filled with stories. Her hikes and camping trips and love of nature, the work she had us do with orphans and foster children, and the ways she inspired each of them to follow their paths, changed their lives. She was less interested in having her scouts work toward merit badges; she cared about so much more than that.

What we can all learn from my mother

I do not think my mother had any idea of what an enormous legacy she left in the world. She was simply focused on all that she cared about: people, relationships, art, music, beauty, fine cooking, hospitality, nature, travel, social justice, and love.

The inspiration we can all take from her is to live a life that is true to who we are, and to savor each day. To share all of our gifts, and share them with a full heart. To love, and love more.

If we emulate her, when our time comes to an end, people will pour out stories about how we enriched their lives.

The ripple effect of a life well-lived, a life of love and generosity, is incalculable.

I am so grateful for all she taught me, and all the love she spread in the world.

What’s the legacy you want to create?

I can see how my mother’s influence played a huge role in bringing me to the woman I am today, doing the work I do in the world. I will be reflecting on this even more deeply in the days and weeks ahead.

If my mother’s story has prompted you to think more deeply about the life you want to life, and the legacy you want to leave, I invite you to spend some quiet time writing and exploring what emerges.

And if you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and how to get there, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be honored to help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, the changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Three sure steps to take right now

Here we are, at the end of another month, halfway through the summer. 

We continue to live through a time of enormous disruption, and yet life is always affording us opportunities — even when it can be hard to see them.

What I am seeing now

I am observing shifts of many kinds. 

I talk to people who were rocked at the start of the pandemic, found the focus and energy to take action, and are now in a new lull as they contemplate moving ahead.

Some people report an upswing in opportunities in their work, and that they have found new and positive ways to keep connected to others and stay happy.

Some have realized that things they had been tolerating (personally and/or professionally) are no longer tolerable. They are feeling keenly motivated to take action and bring change into their lives. 

Some are diving into new ways to spend their time and realize this period has been a gift for them.

Many are finding they've created a new mix, or blend, of elements in their day-to-day lives, and they like the way they are spending their time, focusing their attention, and using their energy. They realize they are likely to adjust again as the world around them creates new conditions, but their new routine and combination of satisfying activities and initiatives is working now.

Wherever you are at this moment, consider these ways to support yourself.

1. Feel it all and “exercise” what you feel

Feeling our emotions — especially the tough ones — rather than stuffing them down or avoiding them, can seem scary. Sure, it's great when we feel excited and happy. But nobody is always happy.

Lots of people are champions at avoiding tough emotion. They numb themselves with mindless scrolling, endless Netflix, too many cocktails, overeating, and more. Some stay frantically busy or dive into excessive physical activity to keep from feeling them.

If you can allow yourself to simply be with the emotion in quiet, and feel what you feel, you can then use the energy of the emotion to transform it.

Yes, the pain or distress or anxiety can be dispelled.

How? 

• Set a timer for 5 minutes (or more) and write freely. See what shows up on the pages.

• Make art with what you feel — make the emotion visual any way you want.

• Dance the emotion, to let your body express it. Sing the feelings, or play them on an instrument. From the blues, to rock, to opera, to hip hop — anything is great.

• Get outside and feel your emotions under the sky, as you look at the world around you. Or dig in your garden, letting yourself connect to the awesome energy of nature.

And you can elevate positive emotions with any of these techniques. Why not make the most of the good stuff?

When you are in touch with what you are feeling, and actively honor and then “use” difficult emotions — or amplify good ones — you clear the way for fresh perspectives.

2. Decide what you want

It’s easy to feel stuck when you are unsure of what to do, or can’t imagine what might be possible.

Before you start writing out lists of possibilities, focus on your desire.

Sit where there are no distractions and get quiet. Close your eyes, put one hand on your heart and feel into your heart. Put your other hand on your belly and consciously connect to your intuition, to the wisdom in your gut.

 And listen.

You may hear soft, vague whispers or clear loud messages. Be patient. Stay in stillness. See what desires show up. 

You may not get answers all at once, but if you actively listen, you will connect to things your heart desires. 

Maybe you’ll yearn for more connection. Maybe you’ll realize you want to explore being a speaker. Maybe you’ll desire a change in a relationship. Maybe you’ll want to express yourself more fully. Maybe you’ll want to live in a new place, near people or resources you long for. Maybe you’ll realize that you want to reshape what you offer in your professional work.

Your heart always has desire, and connecting to it gives you a compass for moving forward.

3. Get creative and get choosy

Having connected to your emotions and desires, you can now consider your options in new ways. This is your opportunity to create!

You can look at things through new lenses — the lens of opportunity and the lens of possibility.

Opportunity and possibility are starting points for big thinking and for fresh approaches you can play with.

Start with the question, “What if it’s possible that...” and see what shows up. You can also use the Discovery Dozen™ exercise I teach in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, to generate lots of ideas, and see which of the ideas you want to explore more deeply.

When you review your ideas, be selective. Eliminate the possibilities that feel heavy. Delete any that feel like “should’s” rather than “wants.” Continue to check in with your heart and your gut and stay with the ideas that light you up.

What happens next?

This is a good time to consider who can help you. Who can be a sounding board, or wise advisor, or coach? Who can help you stay accountable to the process of exploration, testing and taking action?

And try not to get overwhelmed. Neither exciting, big ideas nor more modest ideas require you to take giant steps! Small steps are the ideal way to move into something new (and small steps can be bold steps). These will let you set a solid foundation, as you take small action, and continue or adjust course as needed, with every step on the path.  

Let’s create together!

I have been feeling significant shifts as life has evolved and the last months have rolled along. I am excited about new opportunities that I am seeing, and a host of new things I am creating.

From a new more expansive and light-filled approach I am moving into in the studio when I paint, to new ways of navigating through the challenge of illness in a beloved family member, to a new program I have designed to support great women to create the next big vision for their lives and start living it, I am moving forward in new ways.

I invite you to share what you are facing in your life now, and what you yearn to create in your future.

Schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call, and I will help you gain insight and clarity about your challenges and questions and desires. And if we both think there’s a good fit, I can tell you about my new coaching program that’s starting soon, and how it may be able to support you to create the changes you want to make. 

Today is a great day to take a small and meaningful step.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Green lights and speed bumps

Last week I asked you about your big dream and what you yearn to bring into the world.

I asked what really matters to you and what you yearn to create.

Whether you want to have a bigger impact with your work, want to build stronger relationships, pursue a passion, create more balance and and ramp up self-care, express yourself creatively, or work for a better world, there is no end to what is possible.

And, of course, you may want to make a combination of desires your focus.

Start with clarity and then say, “Yes!”

It's great to get clear about what’s important to you and what you want to create in your life. Start by setting aside time to think that through. (After all, you don’t want to set out on a journey without a destination.)

But intentions are not enough. 

Committing to taking action and then getting into motion is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. 

Lots of people wait for a sign before they begin. Or they wait for permission, or wait until they have complete clarity, or wait for the “perfect time” to start taking action. 

And while waiting for a light to turn green is important at an intersection, you get to give yourself a green light.

Embrace the potholes and detours!

Is it easy to embark on new initiatives? Do you feel a bit nervous?

When you start down a new road there are always questions. And often some butterflies in our stomachs (or real nerves). These are signs that you are stepping into something that's a bit of a stretch, outside of your comfort zone — and that’s good!

And lots of people feel they need to head for a superhighway and hit the gas, and that speed is required to reach the destination.

The truth is that just starting is a big deal, and taking winding side roads may be the perfect route and pace for you. 

Continuing to move forward is the key.

You will likely hit speed bumps. You may have to swerve to avoid potholes. You may need to recalcuate your route from time to time. 

If your path is anything like mine has been, you may need to double-back and spiral in before you get to where you want to be.

All of that is fine. 

Those recalculations are often valuable opportunities to pause and learn. You get to notice what’s appearing on the journey and find inspiration and new perspectives. You get to create new routes, and can invite new people to join you on your travels.

Savor the adventure

Embarking on this kind of big life journey is exciting. It’s great to start on a shorter trip now, to get ready for what will be your next journey. Or maybe you are ready to head out on a sustained road trip.

No matter the plan, when you head down this road, soak it all in. Continue to let your desire, intuition, and what you learn along the way be your compass. 

You are creating your life. 

You are creating an amazing future. 

You are bringing all of your greatness into a world that needs every bit of it!

And if you think that having a guide to help you set your course and navigate through all of the twists and turns may make your journey easier and smoother, let’s talk.

You can schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the journey you are thinking about and how to get started. I promise you’ll gain valuable insights and ideas. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.