Finding strength in the why

What matters enough to stretch and extend yourself, to do something that’s important to you, even when you are really tired?

Maybe there is a family matter, or something related to your work, or a passion you feel for a cause, that is so pressing or important that you dig deep to focus time and energy for it.

I have been stretching myself to attend to pressing family matters for many months. I have been flying to Philadelphia from Boston so often that the people at the Admiral’s Club desk recognize and greet me each time I arrive. One time recently, when I fumbled to find the card that is required for entry, they told me, “Oh, we know you, just go in!” That’s when you know you have been traveling a lot!

These trips have been important. And they have been taxing. 

I have needed to make adjustments in a number of ways to do all of the travel, as well as making calls, doing research, sending and replying to emails, and other tasks related to the my father’s failing health, my sister’s health crisis, and more recently, matters related to my father’s estate.

Finding strength when you need it

I am amazed at the way adrenaline has kicked in when I have need it. This hormone is produced in the adrenal gland to help you deal with stressful or dangerous situations.

And while a rush of adrenaline can be literally life-saving in some circumstances, and has carried me at notable moments, there are other ways we can find strength.

• Focus on the why

When you feel called to take action and can keep the WHY clear in your thoughts, you may be surprised by the amount of strength you will feel. This fundamental approach to how you focus your thoughts can support you in countless situations.

• Envision the outcomes

Knowing that my efforts were making a meaningful difference in the life of a loved one — envisioning my father’s contentment at knowing he was loved and cared for, and “seeing” what restored health would be like in the case of my sister — has frequently given me strength.

Similarly, knowing my efforts were smoothing the way to a positive conclusion for myself and my family in the aftermath of my father’s death, and imagining what that would look and feel like, has given me tremendous strength, even when I was not sure I had any left. 

The same can be true when you are dedicated to a cause about which you are passionate, or launching a new endeavor that is deeply meaningful to you. Envision what it will it look like thanks to your efforts.

• Get help

Rather than figuring everything out on your own, or doing it all yourself, when you seek out help (by asking for it from people you know, or hiring experts, or availing yourself of services that are around you) you will not be expending as much effort on your own and will have more strength for the efforts you undertake.

Remember the importance of self-care

How you take care of yourself during demanding times, and afterwards, is crucially important.

Pay attention to how you feed yourself and stay hydrated. Make sleep a priority. See where you can open space in your schedule, so you can move at a slower pace when possible. Aim to connect to people you enjoy, and do things you love (like getting out in nature, visiting a museum, having a favorite food delivered).

Get the support you need

I have been fortunate to have remarkable, loving support in my life, and that has made a huge difference during this taxing time.

My coaches have been a most valued resource. My husband has been my rock. My children have chipped in. Friends have lent a loving ear.

This has enabled me to look ahead to all I intend for myself and my work in the year that lies ahead.

If you are thinking about what really matters to you now — whether you want to get clear or you know what that looks like — and you think that getting support could be the way to move ahead with more ease, my upcoming Live Big Live retreat might be right for you.

Email me and we can make a date for you to learn about this program, and we’ll see if it’s a fit.

Unleash your creative power in 2024

Imagine standing at a large glass window on a rocky shoreline, looking out at the vast ocean and the expansive sky above it. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine what that would look like and how that would feel.

Can you “see” the splendor of nature before you?

Can you sense the energy of the powerful moving water and hear the crashing waves on the rocks below the window? Can you see the graceful, swooping birds gliding on the wind currents?

This inspiring vista represents the year that lies ahead for you — an amazing year of limitless possibilities.

The vast space is filled with energy that you can tap into and use as fuel to create an incredible 2024!

The energy for creation is in you

The way that energy is generated and built in the natural world provides us with information we can apply in our lives, to create anything we want to bring into existence or elevate in our lives.

Here’s a bit of nerdy science to explain:

1. Just as in atomic structure, you can add energy to a stable system and create stability at a higher level. (With a hydrogen atom, for instance, you can add energy with a laser. The electron absorbs the energy and moves to a higher energy state. Got that?)

Interestingly, the process can go in the other direction. An electron at a higher level of energy can drop back down if its energy is dissipated or lost. It takes new energy to be put back in to get back up to the level it had.

2. Here’s another piece of information to consider, having to do with thermo-dynamics and entropy. (I promise, this will not hurt your brain!)

The fact is that the universe tends toward disorder, and that’s called entropy. If you let things erode, you need to put energy back into the system and then sustain that energy. You can even build more energy from there! 

We all know that nothing lasts forever, and our bodies, brains, even civilizations can crumble. The good news is that living things are designed to counter entropy!

3. Chemical reactions have something great to teach us. Activation energy is needed to bring several atoms together to make a molecule (think about 2 Hydrogen atoms and 1 Oxygen atom, to make water).

Any process that creates new things from already-existng things takes energy! (For water, a spark of heat or electricity does the trick.)

For us, it means not only having all of the parts ready and assembled, also adding an energetic ingredient.. 

What this means for you

When you:

• have the willingness to go beyond the edge of your comfort zone and trust yourself to do something that excites you

• believe that your desires and ideas matter, and that you have the power to take small steps forward

• commit to yourself and the effort that’s called for to create what you desire

• generate energy in your spirit and actions — a natural outgrowth of having the foundation I just described

• and stay in the process, so you continue to build energy, or start again when there is a setback

… you can create in limitless ways!

You can add spirit and emotion, too. While these are not as measurable, you can feel the energy of kindness, love, and joy. These all build positive emotional states.

Combine spirit and emotion with the scientific principles described above, you have powerful energy for fulfillment!

Let’s create a 2024 to remember!  

I kicked the year off leading a powerful new retreat last week, that was focused on the energy of creation (see some photos below!).

It was incredible, and I am designing more deep experiences for women to come together to get focused and clear, and generate creative energy to bring into their lives — and impact the world — as never before! 

And part of my focus for 2024 is to bring more of my work inside organizations. I support professional women to be able to bring more of their greatness forward, to have their biggest impact as they create lives they love. When this happens great culture is built, organizational success is accelerated, and great talent is retained.

If you want to hear more about any of what’s coming up — for you personally or your organization — get in touch!

Take time to just be

Winter has finally arrived in New England, after mild and rainy months in November and December.

Enjoying the visual delight of a shimmering white coating on snow-covered trees, I am treating myself to a snow day.

Snuggling in with a cozy blanket, sipping hot tea, Edith Piaf serenading me, this is a treat I am delighted to give myself.

What about you? 

You do not need actual snow to have a snow-day

Few of us take the time to be quiet, to rest, to simply let ourselves BE.

If you tend to live the way I lived much of my life, you are likely so caught up in doing, that you rush through your days and miss the opportunity to get quiet, rest, and connect to your heart. 

You may wait for a vacation to take a break, and even then, you may have a full schedule and be in constant motion.

Making time to slow down and indulge your body and your spirit is a gift you can choose to give yourself — no matter the calendar or weather.

And you need not make it a full day of down time, if that’s not practical.

If there is a lot going on, look for ways to bring a short respite into your day.

And take a look at you schedule. Block off space for being at regular intervals — whether you want that time for reading, journaling, assembling a puzzle, drawing, day-dreaming, cooking something fun, walking in a special place, or connecting for a longed-for conversation with someone you miss.

The gift of stillness and quiet

When you make small, or more extended, periods of quiet time a regular part of your life, remarkable things can happen.

For me, it works in a similar way that savasana does at the end of a yoga class — the period of stillness at the conclusion of a physical practice. In the stillness, my nervous system is remarkably quiet. I feel a distinctive sense of relaxation and feel refreshed.

I also make a deep connection to my heart — what it wants and what it needs. 

And in that “emptiness” I often find insights and ideas show up that are fresh and surprising.

Many times I find myself feeling more alive and inspired to move into the next part of the day.

At the start of this fresh new year, why not see how making a “snow-day” practice of your own will work for you?  Email me and let me know how it goes. I'll be delighted to hear.

Boldly create your 2024

Happy new year!

I am writing on January 2. Having barely stepped into this new year, it’s a great moment to consider the possibilities for the way you want to live for the next 12 months.

Ask yourself these 3 questions

Take a little time to mull over these questions. With a journal in hand, write whatever comes to mind.

You may find some things that surprise you when you let yourself listen to the deep messages in your heart.

And, do not be concerned with the “how” related to anything you think of. This a time to connect to your desires, so write down all of it — do not edit things out! (The “how” can be addressed later.)

1. Who are you ready to BE in 2024?

How do you want to step up and into the most powerful version of yourself, to show up authentically and boldly as you navigate your life? What will that look like for you?

What qualities do you want to amplify this year?

What aspects of the way you have been operating in the world are you ready to change or shift away from, so you can bring your best self to everything you do this year?

2. What matters that you want to DO in 2024? 

This is a great moment to thoughtfully consider how you will spend your precious time this year.

What things do you want to do to live a life that satisfies you, that minimizes stress and maximizes joy?

What do you want to create in your life that will inform your “doing”?

Do you want to create a new direction for your career, or create new relationships?

Do you want to create expressively (as a writer, musician, builder or chef)?

What do those desires ask you to do — what actions you will take?

3. What do you want to HAVE in 2024?

Do you want to have more space and time to do particular things you crave?

Do you want to have courage, or confidence, or peace of mind?

Do you want specific opportunities?

Do you want to have tangible things like a new car, or furniture, or the resources to have a travel adventure? 

Do you want to have the satisfaction of making an impact in a particular way?

A word for the year can guide you in 2024

With the insights and clarity you have, choosing a word to inspire and guide you to live your biggest, best life can keep you energized and clear as the months roll along.

I have shared my process for choosing a word of the year in my blog over the years. You can check out what I shared last year. 

As you will see, I first choose a word and then add several ways I intend for that word to guide me. I find that specificity to be very powerful and supportive during the year. 

I always type-set the word, as you can see below. I hang a printout on my pinboard, where I look at it every day.

I invite you to try it and see what the impact is for you.

Wishing you a year filled with joy, love and peace 

I dream of a world where we all live the biggest, best versions of ourselves.

When we create personal wellbeing and boldly show up with all of our talents and gifts, we are not only powerful creators in every dimension of our lives, we inspire everyone around us. 

Let’s do this together, and fill the world with more big ideas and bold action.

Joy, love and peace will ripple far and wide.

Celebrating your 2023 top 10

I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend.

And, the season of celebration continues in full swing!

As the New Year approaches it is peak Top 10 List season. Why not get in on the fun in a personal way?

Make a 2023 Top 10 list for yourself

Amidst the festivities at this time of year, making a personal Top 10 List is a great way to look at the bounty in your life.

Choose from these ideas, add others of your own, and feel free to include more than 10 items on your list!

Best conversation 

Brightest moment of joy

Best adventure

A notable moment of creative flow

The best outcome of a challenge you overcame

Best taste, smell, feeling, sound, or lovely sensory sensation

Best surprise you experienced

Your most generous act or thought

The most fun you experienced

The boldest thing you did

A time you felt your best physically

A peak moment of gratitute to savor

Your most precious memory of the year

A significant moment when love filled your heart

The thing you are most proud of

A peak moment — for any reason

The biggest insight to bring into the new year

With your list in hand, you might want to type-set it in a great font. (The designer in me loves the magic of beautiful typography to enhance the impact of big ideas and insights!)

You can print out your list and post it where you’ll be able to frequently reflect on the highlights of your year.

Savoring the best about yourself and the best things in your life will naturally fill you with gratitude and self-love. These are precious and meaningful ways to bring great energy into the coming year.

As you look ahead

As you bring your focus on 2024 front and center, consider choosing a word to guide your year. This has been an inspiring and meaningful practice for me and for my clients for a long time.

I’ve written several blog posts about the word-of-the-year process I developed. My process helps you go deep and find a word with significance and resonance.

I invite you to check it out.

I wrote this post in 2019, and it links you back to a post from the previous year, that details my process for choosing a great word for the year.

And this post was written last year, with some perspective on my experiences using the process.

I will be moving through this process for myself, as I look ahead to a year of expansion and evolution. I will share my word and more about the big new ideas that I am excited about early in the new year.

Let me know what you choose for 2024!

My wishes for you this week (and beyond)

1. Make sweet time for yourself amidst the holiday bustle. 

2. Know how grateful I am for the honor of being invited into your inbox each week.

3. avor love, joy, beauty, the company of good people, and the possibilities and creative energy available to you every day.

4. Bring your precious magic into the world — whether in tiny droplets on some days, or by the boat-load on other days.

5. Make the most of today, tomorrow, and every day as you believe in the abundant opportunities for peace, love and happiness. Live Big!

Navigating the year-end transition

As we head into the last two weeks of the year, you may feel drawn to look back, or eager to look ahead, and maybe both.

Whether this has been a year to cherish or a year you are eager to leave behind, you surely have meaningful opportunities for insight.

You choose the lens

Let’s first consider reflecting back on 2023 — which I suggested in my last post.

Looking back can reveal a lot for us, and can help us look ahead with clarity and intention for the year we want to live after the calendar turns on New Years Day.

All of us can spot times when things went well. It is important to recall things we took pride in and things to celebrate.

And, all of us can spot times of challenge, disappointment, pain or frustration.

It's in reflecting on the challenges that we get a choice about the lens through which we want to process them.

If you choose a lens of regret you may beat yourself up for not doing better or for having made poor decisions — leaving you with a sinking sensation, or worse.

If, instead, you choose to look at unfortunate events of the past year through the lens of observing lessons learned, or recognizing ways you moved ahead, you may well be able to feel gratitude for positive aspects of those events. 

Perhaps you will see that you were resilient.

Perhaps you can appreciate your strength.

Can you spot creativity in ways you thought about paths forward, or ways you approached a situation?

A focus on gratitude sets you up for success 

When you choose to look through the lens of gratitude, for both the great things and the ways you dealt with difficulties, you fill yourself with positivity.

The energy you feel when you can appreciate the full spectrum of your experiences is powerful. And that energy will support you to think and feel differently as you look ahead to 2024.

Try this next

Pull up your calendar and set aside a little time for yourself to look back, and look ahead. You may want to do this with a buddy, you may want to schedule two sessions — one for looking back and one for looking ahead. You may want to do this in a place you especially enjoy, like a cozy cafe or a comfy chair.

Any way that works for you is great.

It is helpful to scan your 2023 calendar and note the things that jump out to you. There are likely to be highlights you did not acknowledge, or special things that you lost track of. Jot them all down.

And jot down the rough stuff, too. There may be big ones you are thinking of now, and you may well see some reminders of smaller challenges that offer insights when you think about how you responded, overcame obstacles, or found solutions.

With all of the discovery noted, its time to do some writing about the outcomes in 2023 you can appreciate and savor.

And then it is time to look ahead to the fresh new year on the horizon.

What dreams do you want to pursue? How do you want to show up

Consider questions like these:

• What qualities in yourself will you leverage in new ways?

• Do you yearn to lead more boldly? 

• Do you want to be more compassionate (to yourself and/or others)?

• Are you ready to stop doing something the way you have in the past?

• Does it feel like time to try something big or new?

Write about all of the thoughts and ideas that come to mind, without evaluating or judging them, or thinking about how to do any of those things. (There will be time for those questions soon enough.)

Give yourself the gift of time to dream 

In this season of gift-giving, spending time to dream is a precious gift you can give yourself.

Let yourself dream big about the life you want to create in 2024!

It does take any more energy to dream a big dream than a small one. Honor yourself and the desires in your heart, and declare your dreams!

I am dreaming about a year filled with more love, abundant peace, and women (and men!) everywhere living their dreams.

We can collectively bringing more greatness into the world as we all create in meaningful ways. This world needs all of us to show up and live our biggest,best lives.

Take time to reflect

In the midst of this busy season, most of us have a packed schedule.

And lots of people wait until the new year rolls around to look ahead, make a resolution or two, and hope for good things to happen.

I get it. Carving out time for reflection can seem hard, or may feel selfish — particularly when the calendar is filled.

I invite you to consider the gifts that can emerge when you devote even a small bit of quiet time to reflect.

Take a few minutes for yourself 

Set aside a few minutes today — maybe over lunch, or before bed would be a good time to set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes for yourself.

Pull out a journal, paper or a laptop, and have your calendar handy. Then choose one or more of these questions to explore.

1. Look back at your year and see what you can celebrate about yourself.

Here are some questions you might ask:

• Were there times when you were brave, or dared to be bold? 

• When did you have an impact that was meaningful?

• Did you accomplish something you would not have expected? 

• When did your generosity have meaning for someone?

2. Look for lessons learned.

We learn valuable lessons in many ways. One way you may not have considered is to think about challenges you took on, or challenges that showed up this past year, that contributed to your path of success. 

See what you can spot. Can you feel gratitude for outcomes that those challenges led to in your life?

3. Look for things you want to emphasize next year, or let go of.

Perhaps there was an experience that opened your heart in a new way, or a person you got to know well and enjoyed, or a place you spent time that was especially meaningful. 

Note things you want more of next year.

Think, too, about things you want less of, or things you are ready to release.

Perhaps there are things you said “Yes” to that you didn’t like doing, or that have run their course. Maybe there are habits of thinking you are ready to shift away from. Maybe you want a change in a relationship.

By reflecting and taking note, you can set intentions for next year.

You can consider ways to make the positive things a meaningful part of your life in 2024.

And you can intentionally clear space for more positivity when you set clear intentions to release what does not make you happy.

Do it again!

Why not set aside a few minutes every other day for the rest of this month for some quiet reflection? Start with the suggestions above, and add to ways of mining the past year as new perspectives come to mind.

As you look back and consider your year in 2023, you will be likely to notice many things that will help you move into 2024 with more clarity, awareness and intention.

And if you want to share, I would be delighted to hear about the insights you discover. Email me.

Discovering strength in tough moments

Here we are in December. I am looking ahead to how I will conclude 2023, and where 2024 may take me. You may be thinking about that too.

2023 has been extraordinary in many ways — some wonderfully special, some tragic, personally and in the greater world.

All of the events in our lives offer us the opportunity to think about how to look at them, and to respond.

It is in the hard times that we can learn the most, if we choose to see those events as learning opportunities.

The challenges of dealing with loss and worry

November was a month of many contrasts for me, dominated by loss and stress.

I lost my father on November 13. He was 97, a great man who lived a remarkable and long life. He was dearly loved. I am grateful that I was with him on the 13th, hours before he took his last breath.

The day my father died my youngest sister was on a ventilator in an ICU, 10 miles away. She has been in multiple ICUs these last weeks, and has finally turned a corner. It looks like her will to live is stronger than all of the medical problems that shut down so many of her organ systems for nearly a month.

Grief and deep concern for my sister have been a tough pair of challenges. The space to grieve for my father has been squeezed by the time and attention devoted to my sister’s illness.

My heart has been sore for weeks on end.

And, blessedly, life continues, and it is full of dimension.

Both and… 

I made a point each day to look for ways to bring love and hope into my life, and into the world in any small way I could think of.

I wrote to all of you weekly, even as I chose not share anything about my father’s death until my sister was conscious and we could tell her. Writing to you was a gift I gave myself. It felt good to share what I hope were meaningful ideas.

Amidst the sadness and not-knowing worry, the joy of spending Thanksgiving with my children and sweet grandchildren was a balm for my spirit. I felt deep gratitude for so much love in my life, and savored the the sweetness of being with little precious ones.

I created time to write and to paint. That helped me feel deeply, and move emotion that seemed trapped and fraught.

I learned to be patient and to trust that things would work out as they were meant to. And I learned to accept that I could only do so much.

I could love and support my family members, especially my sister's children. I could take care of practical matters. I could do my best to bring love into the world. I could support my clients. And I needed to take care of myself.

Of course I wish the circumstances in my family and the world around me could have been different. And yet, I learned so much for which I am grateful.

Conclusions and beginnings

As we are all moving into this last month of 2023, I invite you to join me in taking a look back at everything you have experienced this year.

Can you see things you learned, or can learn now by looking through a lens of openness and gratitude? Are there lessons and insights you see with clarity now, that you may have missed as they happened?

Now think about 2024 and all that is possible for you. What do you want your year to look like and feel like?

What strength and insights can you bring into the new year based on your reflections of 2023?

And here is one last question:

How can you live your biggest, best life today and all month long, so that you can create dynamically in 2024?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Email me with your plans for living your best life.

Be generous with yourself

I hope readers in the US enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday last week, and that the spirit of gratitude resonates for you in meaningful ways, wherever you live.

Now that the holiday season is “officially” underway, our inboxes are filled and the media is focused on ads and headlines about sales, and messages urging us to buy gifts.

I have always enjoyed choosing gifts for people I love. Finding something special for someone I care about, and presenting it beautifully, feels like a gift I give myself. Of course, when the gift delights the recipient, that doubles the joy.

In addition to giving gifts to others, have you thought about someone special who you often overlook?

What gifts are you giving to yourself?

Generosity is magical, yet we tend to focus exclusively on giving to others.

I invite you to think about what you can give yourself now.

Why?

Because you are amazing and you deserve so much! 

• You deserve time for yourself — time to rest, to be with special people, to indulge in small pleasures that lift your spirits.

• You deserve to be surrounded by beauty and things that bring you joy.

• You deserve love — to be with people who are loving, to receive love, and to treat yourself lovingly.

• You deserve support and help. It will lighten your load and make faster, easier changes possible for you.

• You deserve to be yourself — to feel free and to authentically express yourself.

• You deserve abundant happiness.

• You deserve to dream big.

How big a vision can you gift yourself now?

After you shower yourself with gifts of time, beauty, love, and help, and focus on how much you deserve, you will be in an ideal frame of mind (and heart) to start dreaming about the year ahead.

The gift of dreaming big, to live your best life, is one I hope you will make a focus.

Shaping a vision for yourself is the first step to creating what you deeply desire.

And it does not take more energy to dream a big dream than a small one, so why not let yourself imagine something amazing?

Then write about it.

And draw it — stick figures and simple sketches are meaningful and will help you make the vision tangible!

Share your vision with people near and dear, who want the best for you and will not judge you.

And savor your vision! Add details as you imagine yourself and your life at this time next year.

Take a small step in that new direction today

What action can you take today that will move you toward a desire in your heart? Even taking a small step that is just past the edge of your comfort zone will be meaningful.

The cumulative impact of taking many small steps (even tiny small steps!) can add up to bigger change than you might imagine.

And if you feel stuck, or want help shaping a bold vision, or know that support to take action will help you start creating meaningful change in your life, we can hop on a quick call and talk about what’s in the way for you. 

Email me and we’ll make a date. (No cost or obligation. I am happy to help you gain clarity, so you can begin creating the life you truly want.)

Why love matters now

Love is always important. It is always needed. And it feels to me that a focus on love is especially important now.

Love starts with us

How do you feel and hold love in your heart?

Think about love for yourself as well as love for others — those you know, and those you do not know.

Self-love is something many people overlook, or feel awkward about. Yet when you focus on loving yourself — thinking lovingly about yourself, feeling deserving, acting lovingly toward yourself when you take exquisite care of your body and your spirit — your heart opens.

And when your heart opens, more love is available for you to express to others.

How do you speak about love, in your own thoughts and in conversations?

There are many ways to think lovingly and to express yourself lovingly. 

Pay attention to times you may berate yourself. When you spot such a thought or comment, do your best to reframe it — turn it around and restate it with love.

And look for opportunities to speak lovingly to others, and about others. Loving thoughts and comments are generous. They are free of judgement. 

It may take some practice, but when you bring awareness to your thoughts and ways of speaking, you will spot opportunities to bring more love into many moments.

How can you bring more love into your heart, your spirit and the world around you?

There are countless opportunities to amplify love. See how many ways you can create love today.

Loving gestures, comments, and actions can be small and subtle, or bigger and more dramatic. Any and all ways you make an effort to create more love will be a gift to yourself and to all of humanity.

When we love more, love expands everywhere

I hope you will join me and make love a significant focus, today and every day.

You will benefit and those around you will, too.

As those around you tune in to the vibrations of love, they will feel it and spread love. The recipients, in turn, will touch others.

The ripple effects will spread way beyond what you may ever see. And that is great.

When we all live with more love, we will all contribute to a world that needs that  loving energy.

Listen with an open heart

When you cultivate self-awareness wonderful things can happen.

This takes time and focus, because it is easy to slide into automatic ways of looking at and thinking about things, and automatic ways of being.

Let’s explore one way to bring intentionality to your relationships, that goes beyond the typical way so many people interact when in conversations.

The two questions below can be considered in terms of exchanges in your personal relationships as well as in professional interactions.

How closely do you listen? 

Listening sounds easy — after all, we listen to people all day every day.

And, in many cases we miss a lot, because most of us listen superficially.

When we fail to slow our busy minds down and bring our focus to the person we are with, we miss the opportunity to listen deeply with an open heart.

If, instead, we listen actively, with intention and care and with a loving heart, the person with whom we are in conversation will feel that presence. They are likely to share more fully and honestly.

And whatever way they may share, we can hear so much more by listening deeply. We are able to pick up more than we typically would, tuning in to more nuances, and gaining more insight from the emotion we are able to feel.

We can sometimes even listen for and hear things that are not being articulated in words. We can tune into messages that come across in the tone of voice, in body language, and messages transmitted via the energy of the person who is sharing with us. We may even hear things that are hidden behind the words — fears or concerns or shame that are embedded in the actual statements.

When we listen deeply and hear so much, we can connect and engage with the other person in ways that go way beyond what we would otherwise be able to contribute had we been listening more superficially.

And this way of listening also validates the speaker. They know they are being heard.

Do you bring judgement to what you hear?

One perspective that is meaningful to try and hold, when you listen with focus and care, is to connect to the loving essence of that person.

It is all too common to let judgment slide into our thinking when we listen — judgements that may be subtle or harsh.

Noticing subtle judgements can be particularly challenging. And harsher judgements, if we are aware we are making them, often feel justifiable. 

If you are listening and realize you are judging, you might ask for a pause, so you can take a moment to release the judgement before inviting the person to continue speaking.

The ability to listen without judgement keeps our hearts open. This is a gift we can give the person to whom we are listening, and also a meaningful gift we can give ourselves.

Be patient with yourself

If you choose to bring the awareness of active, non-judgemental listening into your conversations, you may find it takes a bit of practice to do it with ease. I have found that the rewards of building this practice are wonderful, and invite you to join me in cultivating this awareness.

Each conversation you have is an opportunity for understanding and respect, whether you and the other party ultimately find agreement or not. 

Of course, when you do complete a conversation in agreement it feels great.

When that is not the outcome, knowing that you have had a deeply meaningful conversation free of judgement opens the door to acceptance. Ideally you will both be able to agree to disagree, or move ahead in tandem. And if that is not the case, you are likely to feel better because you were able to be open and loving.

Each time we lovingly listen we contribute loving energy into the world.

The more love we generate, the more healing and connection there will be in the world.

Finding your way through difficult times

There are times when we all feel a bit raw, tender, maybe emotional.

In my case, I am focused on time I spent with my father over the weekend. At age 97, there have been significant changes in his stamina and ability to converse each time I fly to Philadelphia to visit him. I was there mid-summer and 4 weeks ago. The shifts I saw this time were striking. My next visit will be in a week. I find myself thinking about him no matter what is going on.

There are many matters that can impact us like this.

News of external world events is making many people feel raw.

You may be facing challenges or thinking about any number of things that pull on your heart as you move through your days.

And, life goes on.

We show up — sometimes with less focus or consistency than we’d wish.

How to move ahead when your heart aches

Our hearts are amazing repositories — of love, of strength, of wisdom.

It is in quietly going into your heart that you can find solace, insights, and sometimes even answers.

Try using these 5 steps:

1. Quietly sit in silence and feel into your heart.

2. Focus on connecting to love. 

That love is powerful in myriad ways.

When you connect to love, when you trust its power, you can build trust in yourself to navigate through the challenges.

3. Trust that you have this.

Trust that loving actions you take and thoughts you think will be felt by people around you and can have a profound impact. Sometimes you will see evidence of the impact. Many times you will be unaware of how the vibrations of loving energy touch and influence others.

Trust that when love is felt by others, much is possible that is beyond what we can imagine right now.

Trust that you will have all that you need to move ahead. Trust yourself to reach out for help and support. Trust yourself to allow your intuition to guide you. Trust yourself to feel all of your feelings and know that you will be ok.

4. Release any grip you may feel — fear, tension, anxiety.

Come back to love and to trust. Ask for help to release your grip if that’s what you need. Be patient and take one step at a time in the direction that matters most.

5. Stay in the present moment and focus on love, again and again.

You may find that a walk in nature, or sitting with hands on your heart, or listening to music that elevates your emotions helps you to stay present and keep your focus on love. You may want to reach out to someone, or you may prefer to be alone.

Then think about the next thing to do, and thoughtfully make your best choice about the action you will take.

Remember to acknowledge and love yourself — for simply being you, and for your ability to Live Big no matter what is happening in your life.

A journey to abundance

If you saw my blog post last week, you know I was away. I hope you enjoyed the photo of the gorgeous landscape I shared, that I got to savor every day that I was in Texas.

For four big days there I was on a “mini-sabbatical” with my coach and a fantastic group of people in my mastermind group. The theme we dove deep to explore was “abundance as a way of being.” 

We started by digging into how our beliefs have been shaped about three big aspects of abundance — time, money and love — seeing many ways that we have each lived with scarcity and how limiting that has been. 

We defined abundance for ourselves, and had deep somatic and energetic experiences to anchor to the embodiment of abundance. We played, too, and did wonderful creative work to express and bring home visual reminders for ourselves. (As you can imagine, I loved this!)

And on the final afternoon, we went into the nearest town, in groups of 4, to share love and bring generosity into the world. This was a highlight of my experience — helping people load groceries in the Walmart parking lot; buying large bouquets and giving people roses to brighten their day; choosing socks, bibs, teething rings and other baby gear to donate at the Good Will store; stopping at a cemetery to leave flowers on graves.

The outcome of this time away and all I soaked in is a far deeper level of inspiration, insight and self-trust, knowing that abundance is a mindset that informs the way I live each day.

My daily morning practice of gratitude, meditation, reflection and writing is now infused with a focus on serving, and building more ease receiving. I am also clear about the people I want to be with, whose energy and spirit lift and inspire me.

How can you live abundantly today?

Perhaps you will step into your garden and marvel at the beauty of nature.

Maybe you will surprise someone with a call or note to tell them you appreciate them.

If you notice thoughts rooted in doubt or scarcity, intentionally reframe those thoughts.

Can you think of something simple to do for yourself? It could be to pause and make a cup of tea, to savor a flavor you love. You might get to bed earlier, or listen to great music while you attend to a task.

If you notice negativity in someone near you, can you make a choice to limit that contact, or process what they are saying and doing differently?

Doing small things like these can shift your energy and your thoughts in meaningful ways.

And the more you bring this kind of awareness into your life the bigger the shifts will be.

I welcome you to share your thoughts, challenges, questions and desires about living your most abundant life on a call with me.

Email me, or find a date on my calendar and we can chat (there’s no cost or obligation!).

Savoring time off the grid

Writing my weekly blog is something I love to do and feel deeply committed to.

This week, I am away at a retreat with my coach and a wonderful group of people doing deep personal work alongside me.

I am honoring myself by being fully present in this experience.

Enjoy this photo of the magnificent landscape I am inspired by while in Texas.

Finding peace in uncertain times

We are living through a tense, tender time that is full of uncertainty. Most of us feel fear, anxiety and sadness, and are looking for the best ways to cope as events unfold. 

About a year ago I wrote a post about choices, and choosing happiness. My point was that we always have choices about how we respond to events and situations. In that post I shared a graphic to help bring awareness to what is in one’s control — and what is not.

This seemed like an excellent time to share that graphic again — this time to support us as so many feel despair and helplessness.

My hope is that by being clear about what we can control, and what is outside of our control, we can take action to support our wellbeing.

You have more agency than you may think

As the graphic below shows, we cannot control the actions of others, what happens around us, or the future.

The first two things we can control, as listed in the graphic, relate to our emotions. And at this time, when emotions are high and often feel hard to manage, there are several ways we can support ourselves.

• Your thoughts and actions

When your thoughts spin down to fear and anxiety, the stress that builds in your system pulls you ever lower.

Rather than living with despair and having that pressure build, you can express the emotions you feel, to release their intensity.

Creating is an excellent outlet for managing emotions of all kinds.

Whether you choose making art (it can be soothing or harsh), dancing, kneading dough to release pent up emotions, or singing loudly in your car, any way to express your difficult emotions through a creative act will be helpful.

Consider the stimuli you choose for your thoughts. 

As you may recall, I have shared that last year I stopped listening to news at the start of each day. Instead I choose some music to soothe me, or energize me, or lighten my heart, as I get dressed each morning. I highly recommend this practice!

Actions such as writing in a journal, going for a run or doing yoga, meditating, and keeping a gratitude journal are also great practices to bring into your day. They will impact your thoughts and thus the actions you take.

• What you give your energy to

Rather than allowing your energy to be focused on anger, criticality or bitterness, shifting it to positive actions and thoughts will make a tremendous difference.

When you are intentional about how you exert your energy you will be less likely to slide into negativity and distress.

You can choose to direct your energy toward connecting to people with kind hearts.

You can direct your energy to accomplishing tasks that are meaningful, enriching and inspiring — for you and others.

You can bring loving energy to each interaction, conversation and action you take.

Let’s all live with intention 

Whatever is going on in the world, we live each day. When we each live our best lives, contribute our gifts and talents, and lead with love and kindness, we are doing good.

This world needs as much of that goodness as we can collectively offer.

I am listening to John Lennon's Imagine on repeat — to stay inspired and to believe that peace is possible.

You may say I am a dreamer, but I know that I'm not the only one.

Slow down to find clarity

Perhaps the weather is finally getting more seasonally cool where you are, as it is here in Boston. The fall season brings many things to mind.

Like many people, I am thinking about how I want to make the most of the final quarter of this year. 

And with lots of big ideas percolating, it would be easy for me to drive myself hard. After all, there are barely 12 weeks until 2024 gets underway.

For most of my life I was focused on pushing myself. It was such a “normal” way for me to live and work that I never considered the possibility of a different approach to my life.

What about you?

Is constant pushing your “normal”? 

If it is, does it make you happy?

Do you hold the belief that it’s the only way to get things done and achieve?

What if there is another way?

I have been learning to slow down for over a decade! 

I have become keenly aware that, for me, being thoughtful and taking intentional, clear action works much better than plowing frantically through my days.

Going more slowly to get more done, and to be more satisfied with my work and my life, was counterintuitive when my first coach introduced the concept to me.

Being willing to try it, finding ways to experience more satisfaction and accomplishment, and consistently practicing over time has made a huge difference in my life.

I am clear about the benefits of living and working without “push energy” — that I had thought was the only way to succeed. (I, like most of us, had internalized the way our culture glorifies and celebrates hard, hard work). 

My new approach has proven to be remarkably beneficial.

3 steps you can try for yourself

Rather than plowing through your days, living with stress, and collapsing in exhaustion, here is a way to start approaching your life differently that you can explore.

1. Make a small shift to create space for you to “be.”

When you start your day with space for thinking, feeling and intentional planning, many things will start to change.

Even if you have kids to get to school or other demands on your time, think about adjustments you can make to start your day in a new way.

You might realize that getting to bed a bit earlier will enable you to wake up sooner than you have been, so you can give yourself the gift of 10 to 20 minutes to yourself.

You might create a new morning pattern or routine with those in your household, that provides you with some precious quiet time for yourself.

You might decide that a current habit can be replaced, that will support a quiet, focused mind. (For me, switching away from listening to news first thing in the morning, and instead choosing music I was in the mood for, made a wonderful difference.)

If you want more ideas, I have a lovely guide, Creating Space for YOU, to help you do just that. Just email me and I will get it right off to you,

2. Choose how to center yourself.

You might write in a journal.

You can quietly list things for which you are grateful.

You might want to move your body in a particular way — doing yoga poses, moving through a quick workout, taking a walk outside.

With some focus established, you will be ready to think about your day with quiet energy and sharper perspective.

3. Set your intention.

Setting a clear intention for yourself makes great things possible.

Your intention could be to move thoughtfully through your day, rather than rushing and reacting.

You might intend to show up boldly in a conversation, or get something specific accomplished with focus and ease.

You might intend to sustain a positive frame of mind all day.

You might intend to ask for help for a matter that has challenged you, or to make something easier to accomplish.

Your intention may well include several components.

The key is to be loving to yourself as you set intentions that will support you to have the best day you can.

You are responsible for your experiences

When you set the stage for quiet, intentional thinking each morning, and do as much as you can to follow through on the intentions you set, you will see meaningful changes unfold in your life.

You have this opportunity.

You have the power to bring change into your life, to live in a sustainable way, that enables you to thrive.

You can make the most of 2023 and step into a new year with clear energy, sharp focus, greater clarity and deep enthusiasm.

That is what being a creator of your life, living big, is all about.

If you want to talk about how you can begin to make significant change in your life, I may be able to help.

The best way to start is to book a quick intro call with me.

You are under no pressure, no obligation. I promise only an honest conversation where you can talk about the deep desires you have for your life and what's in the way for you now. I can share fresh insight and perspective, and tell you about programs I offer that may be a fit for you.

Email me, or find a time on my calendar here. 

It’s time to be bold!

One big way to Live Big is to be bold.

There is a chapter in my book about why being bold is so meaningful and how to bring more boldness into your life.

And, being bold is not a simple thing for many of us to consider and embrace. 

Boldness is a topic I have been focused on lately, in my life and in my work with clients. That focus led me to create a new keynote entitled, Embrace Your Bold: Amplify Your Voice and Increase Your Impact.

To present this hour-long talk, I went deep into what bold really is and how we can each build our bold. It was a great journey for me, and I have loved sharing it with audiences.

And while I cannot share all of the content of my talk here, I want to give you a few key points, as well as a take-away that I hope you will find inspiring.

What does bold really mean?

Most people have preconceived ideas about what “bold” is, and what it looks like. It’s important to know that being bold— whether that feels great to you or off-putting — does not mean the same thing, and is not the same, for everyone. 

My definition of bold used to include being loud, brash, and fearless. (And not being a loud, brash, or fearless person, I long struggled with the idea of being bold, much less how to be bold.)

What I have come to understand is that one can be bold and present quietly. One can be bold and serious. Introverts, extroverts and ambiverts, those filled with wit and those lacking humor, can all be bold.

Bold is a completely personal set of beliefs and understandings of what’s bold for YOU.

Faking bold does not work

Because many people have a concept of boldness that does not match who they are, they try and fake being bold (as they think bold is supposed to look).

If you have tried to fake boldness — as I did in the past — you have likely concluded that it does not work very well.

In addition to feeling awkward (or worse), when you try to be someone you are not it rarely comes across to others in the way you want.

The key is to embrace your authentic way of being bold. When you do that people will sense it and be responsive.

Here’s a great first step to try

To find and embrace your unique bold entails a multi-step process that I teach in my keynote.

And, here is one thing you can do today, that will help you to gently usher in boldness. 

Take one tiny step that is outside of your comfort zone.

That’s all! 

What is one small thing can you do that is beyond the edge of where you feel comfortable?

• It could be planning how you might approach a delicate conversation.

• You might wear a piece of clothing in a color you love but have hesitated to put on.

• Maybe you will propose an agenda item for an upcoming meeting that you have been thinking about but not acted on.

• You might ask someone for help.

• Maybe you will tell someone how much they mean to you.

Choose one thing and do it.

Be your bold!

When you take one very small new step today, and continue to do that every day, you will soon find that this gentle practice builds your bold.

Your authentic bold will start shining, and will continue to get brighter as you go!

I would be delighted to hear from you when you bring this idea into daily practice. Email me to let me know how it goes.

You are worthy of self-love

If you have been a reader of my Big Ideas for a while, or have heard me speak about Living Big, the concept of Self-Love will likely sound familiar.

Maybe you bring awareness of Self-Love into your days, and have made space for practices to build Self-Love.

If so, that’s great! I deeply believe that Self-Love is a foundation for living your biggest, best life.

And, there is more to this topic than you may be aware.

Why Self-Love matters

When you love yourself — which is not selfish! — you take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. You honor yourself. You set and hold standards that are aligned with your values. You have more compassion for yourself. 

When the voices of your Self-Critic intrude (as they do, for all of us), you are less likely to be limited by a sense of being an imposter, or being inclined to be perfectionistic, or procrastinating, or feeling inadequate when comparing yourself to others, or being immobilized by fear. When any of these self-critical voices show up, having a base of strong Self-Love provides you with a counter-narative that can quiet those voices.

(Those voices will never go away completely, but you will be amazed at how much easier it will be to manage your Self-Critic.)

The more Self-Love you cultivate, allowing you to quiet the Self-Critic, the less stress you will experience and the more confident you’ll feel.

The best part? You will experience more happiness!

What Self-Love actually means

I often teach about these important dimensions of Self-Love:

• Self-Love means feeling deserving and worthy — of goodness in every aspect of your life.

• Self-Love means believing in yourself, owning your unique and amazing gifts.

• Self-Love means taking exquisite care of yourself. Think about how well you nourish yourself, if you are getting ample rest, how you nurture your body in ways you enjoy, and more.

• Self-Love means devoting time to you — to be quiet, to do things you love, to honor and nurture your spirit. 

And, to consistently do these things takes focus.

How to practice Self-Love — including a great new idea!

I often share ways to actively cultivate Self-Love. Here are some basic approaches:

• A seemingly simple practice is to smile at yourself in the mirror each morning and evening. It may feel awkward, but stay with it. Gently and tenderly gazing at yourself with love makes a wonderful difference.

• Create a ritual for self-reflection. You might choose journal-writing, spending time in nature to reflect, expressing yourself creatively, or another way that makes you happy.

• Schedule time to do things you love, for the pure pleasure of it!

• Set aside ample time for wonderful self-care.

• Make dates to be with people you truly enjoy.

The new suggestion I have is one I slowly came to realize is an excellent way to nurture Self-Love:

Ask for help!

This concept may not sound obvious. (It did not for me until recently.) 

Learning to ask for help has been part of my personal journey to Living Big. Only recently did I “connect the dots” and realize that every time I ask for help I am honoring and loving myself.

How is asking for help self-loving?

Each time I get help I create space for more of what I love to do or experience, or for doing things that are in my “zone of genus.” 

I reduce stress.

Things get done faster than if I handle them myself.

Some things get done much better than I am able to do them.

I get inspiration and leverage the genius of others, so that the quality and outcomes of my efforts are enhanced.

I also experience the pleasure that others get when they help me. (Because so many people love to help others!)

To the last point, there are countless people who want to help you — friends, family members, colleagues, and people you hire. 

We are not meant to do everything ourselves. Embracing this truth and reaching out for help is a wonderful way to honor and love yourself.

I have tested it for you and can attest to it!

Please share your Self-Love stories

I would be delighted to hear about how you practice Self-Love and the outcomes you are noticing. Email me, and if you have questions or struggle with this practice, tell me about that, too.

New beginnings: create your best life!

It is a delight to welcome many who have just started receiving my Big Ideas. I am so pleased to welcome these great women.

This past weekend I celebrated Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. The focus of this High Holy Day runs deeper than our secular new year.

On Rosh Hashanah we celebrate the creation of the world and welcome a sweet new year. We are also introspective, as this holiday starts a 10-day period during which we reflect on the ways we fell short in the past year. We pray for forgiveness and to be “written into the book of life” for the year ahead.

The idea that we have a new start, one filled with opportunity to be self-aware and to live with clear intention truly inspires me.

We can start anew each day

Holidays of many kinds offer is the opportunity to take note, reflect, celebrate, and some invite us to consider some change we might make.

In fact, every fresh new day is an invitation to be grateful, to bring awareness to how we are living, and to do something new or different.

Rather than living on autopilot, why not set an intention at the start of each day?

You might create a small morning ritual to reflect and consider what new action or way of being you want to make a focus of your day. 

Your ritual can include a few minutes to write in a journal. It might include lighting a candle and sitting quietly. It might be taking a walk to reflect on nature. Create what works for you!

Just make one small change today

If you have been a reader here, or have heard me speak, you know that I believe in the power of implementing small changes.

As you embark on a morning practice or ritual, it is key to bear that in mind.

Rather than aiming to make a sweeping change, think of making a very small shift — in thought and/or action. 

Need ideas to spark your heart?

On some days you may be very clear about your focus for the day ahead. On others, you may be less clear and feel unsure what focus will support you to have your best day.

And while you may want to stick with one focus for a period of time, you might choose to change your focus as outside circumstances, inner desires, or new possibilities prompt you to make different choices.

Any way you bring awareness and commitment to your day is great.

Consider these possibilities:

• Choose to add curiosity

Bringing more curiosity into your day is always a great idea. Curiosity can be applied in countless ways. Ask more questions in conversations and listen with care. Bring a curious mind to explorations of possibilities and solutions. Be curious about underlying motivations — your own and those of others.

• Choose to cultivate patience 

Set an intention to sit with discomfort when things do not happen as quickly as you’d like, or when you have an impulse to plow ahead without full consideration of a matter, or when others are unresponsive. 

• Choose to be more loving

Think about how you might love yourself more. Maybe you will be more self-forgiving, or pause to eat a more nutritious meal mid-day. And, how might you love others more fully, though acts of kindness, or helping someone, or even in your thoughts?

• Choose to be more trusting

You can actively trust yourself and the decisions you make. You can be more trusting of others, too. That awareness of trust will automatically prompt you to be more thoughtful as you move through your day.

• Choose to show up a bit more boldly

What one small way can you be more bold today — in a way that feels authentic for you? Try something small, such as asking someone you trust to listen to an idea you’ve had and not yet dared to share. Post about something you believe in or matters to you on LinkedIn, so people get to see an aspect of you they haven’t known about. Even something as small as making a clothing change that shows your real personality can be a good way to start being bolder.

• Choose to celebrate yourself

I suggest you make this idea a part of every day! Acknowledge yourself for creating a daily ritual, for taking thoughtful actions, for each small — and big — thing you contribute to, or initiate, or see through in your day. As my clients and audiences know, I think saying a spirited “YAY ME!” at each of these moments is a powerful practice to make part of your life!

We get to create our lives each day

New beginnings are wonderful — and holidays that highlight the start of a new year, whether religious or secular, are a gift.  

Knowing that we can make each and every day a new start, that we can fill each day with awareness, and make commitments to ourselves for how we want to live our biggest best day, fills me with inspiration.

I hope it does you, as well.

Take a moment to imagine your life a year from today, having made clear commitments to Live Big each day.

Savor that vision, and commit to making it your reality.

I am always happy to connect with you, to hear about your deep desires for a life that fulfills you, and help you gain clarity and insight about what is limiting you now, and what is possible. Email me — and we’ll make a date to talk.

Unlock the power of daily reflection.

Most of us launch into our days, moving through a brisk morning routine and then attending meetings and handling tasks and projects that fill our packed calendars. We end the day only to start again the next morning.

In the midst of a busy life, it’s easy to loose sight of the opportunity we each have to pause, reflect and make simple choices that can have a big positive impact.

Three questions you can ask yourself today

If, instead of moving from one thing to the next as quickly as possible, you choose to briefly stop, breathe quietly for a minute ot two, and then ask yourself a good question, you can change the tone and intensity of any busy day.

Here are questions you may want to choose from:

1. What one thing really matters now?

When you choose this question and focus on the top thing that matters most right now, you are able to bring both awareness and clarity to your day. Your attention will no longer be splattered.

This pause enables you to consider how you might reshuffle other things on the calendar if that is needed, or who you can ask to help you, or what resources are available that you had not considered as you rushed though the day.

2. What will me happy now?

It’s easy to forget that you deserve to be happy, and that there is always an opportunity to have moments of pleasure in your life — even when things are busy!

This is not a frivolous or selfish thing to make a priority, It is self-loving. And when you honor yourself by choosing to inject happiness into your day, you put positive fuel in your engine.

• Maybe a quick text or call to someone special will lift your spirits. 

• Maybe a short walk in nature, or a stop at a lovely cafe will give you a boost. 

• Maybe planning something special you can look forward to doing at the end of your day will light up your heart.

3. What promise can I make to myself now?

This question offers you a terrific opportunity to reflect on something you want to commit to — for yourself, for your wellbeing.

Tap your heart and find something that you want.

Keep in mind that small desires are a great for two reasons — they matter, and they will not make you feel overwhelmed.

Here are some prompts that may get you started:

• You might promise yourself to get to bed a little earlier. 

• You might promise yourself to ask for something you have held back on requesting.

• You might promise yourself to be kinder — to yourself or someone else. 

• You might promise yourself to follow through on a task you have been avoiding.

• You might promise yourself to be a bit bolder today.

• You might promise yourself to start planning an adventure you have been longing to take.

This small daily practice can bring big shifts

We tend to underestimate the significant impact that small actions can have.

You may want to remind yourself to ask one of these questions each day (and you may have other questions you want to add).

Why not download this graphic, print it, and use it as a reminder?

I’d be happy to hear about how this practice works for you.

And I am always happy to talk about how you want to Live Big.

Email me today!