Let’s talk about control and trust

Most of us long for more control in our lives. We aim to control outcomes, we crave control over others, we want to control external conditions that impact us.

Control is an interesting and tricky topic

Let’s get clear about what we can and cannot control, and where opportunities lie that you may not have considered.

We try and control so much that is not ours to control.

Check out last week’s post, that includes a graphic you can download to remind you of the fundamental things that are in your control, and the things that are outside of your control. (You may want to make a small print-out of the graphic to keep on your desk as a handy reminder!)

We fail to see the gifts we can give ourselves by loosening our tight grip on things we aim to control.

We often hold a tight grip when we’d benefit from allowing others to contribute.

There are a number of reasons we do this.

• We think we need to do the thing ourselves.

• We think we will do it better than others.

• We do not trust others (to do it as well as we would, to do it on time, to do it the way we would like it done, etc.).

We can relieve tension by trusting others to do things their way, knowing that we can assist if need be, or offer help if they flounder.

And by letting others do those things, they are likely to build capabilities that will enable them to independently do more in the future.

And the added benefit of loosening the grip this way is having more time and space for yourself. Consider what might be possible for you if you invite others to take on more.

What if you trusted?

What if you trusted yourself more?

Can you envision really trusting yourself? Taking control of your wellbeing? Having the time you crave because you are able to bring healthy control to what you say yes to, and what you decline? And imagine the outcomes of setting healthy boundaries to enhance your life!

What if you trusted that things will unfold over time?

Rather than trying to force outcomes, can you envision yourself creating ideas and making decisions each day, to influence the outcomes?

What if you held “double trust” — that this is an abundant universe and that you can bring your positive energy and incredible creativity to each day?

What if you trusted the love and support of others?

For all the control so many accomplished women aim to bring to our lives, it is when we trust and welcome others to support us that we give ourselves an enormous gift.

When you allow yourself to receive that support, the pace at which you experience life-changing shifts can be remarkable.

Having a mentor and having the support of other great women alongside you, all on their paths to leading the truly fulfilling lives they yearn for, has been remarkable in my personal experience, and powerful for my clients.

Here is what one client said after the participating in a recent Live Big Live! retreat:

“I have real self-belief now. I trust myself. I can take the wheel, knowing I’ve got this! I have huge new insights about my work from this experience and I’m excited about this stage of my life! I am choosing to live in a positive way.”

You get to shape your life

Can you control everything you wish you could?

No.

Is there magic to make the outcomes you dream of an instant reality?

No.

And…

You do get to take deliberate, meaningful steps to shape your life as you want it to be — in spite of stress, indecision, doubt, or anything else that is challenging you now.

Let’s talk about what you yearn for, what’s in the way for you now, and what’s possible.

I welcome you to schedule a call here: LiveBigCall.com

There's no cost or obligation for us to talk. :-)

A simple question can change your life

Questions open our thinking. Of course there are many kinds of questions, and asking them can lead to many kinds of outcomes.

Let’s consider a very simple question, and how powerful the impact can be when we use it.

What if...?

“What if?” never fails to be a good question.

It opens your thinking to considering all sorts of possibilities, and it’s wonderful because it does that without making you feel pressured.

Something I especially love is that “What if?” questions also open the door to broad and creative thinking.

Let’s test a great “What if?” question

You can use the “What if?” question in countless ways, and the answers can be revelatory and wide-ranging.

I especially love this particular “What if?” question, and the many ways it can be extended:

What if you trusted?

Ponder that a moment. This is a big question that is worth turning over in your mind.

Next, move on to considering these variations. See what shows up for you.

What if you trusted yourself?

Can you imagine not second-guessing yourself? Can you envision living with trust in yourself and rather than with doubt? What if you could live without fear of making mistakes, or failing?

What if you trusted your heart?

What would your life be like if you connected to the desires in your heart — what you want — and felt deserving of those desires, and honored them? What if you also honored the passions in your heart?

What if you trusted your intuition?

Of course, that begins with hearing intuitive messages. Many of us hear these whispers (and shouts) and push them aside or override them. What would change if you trusted those nuggets of wisdom?

What if you trusted that you can move forward every day, and adjust and course-correct as needed?

This takes us back to the question of trusting yourself, but gets more specific. Can you imagine being focused and intentional, and also flexible and creative when things do not go as you expected, or new obstacles show up?

What if you trusted that you can get the help you need?

Many of us think we need to do everything ourselves. Many of us think that we are the only ones who can do things well enough, or to meet our own high standards. Many of us feel that soldiering on in spite of struggle is noble, or that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Can you imagine trusting yourself to find help, to let go of control, and to allow others to support you?

What if you trusted and believed that you have everything you need inside of you?

Can you believe and trust that you hold the answers you seek, and the ability to learn and grow and expand? Can you believe and trust that you are enough — in fact, that you are already perfect?

You may need some help to trust these ideas, and to believe you have that strength.

Can you imagine how having that trust and belief could be significant for you?

What if you trusted the universe?

I know that for many people this is a harder question, and it may feel a bit far out. I believe that we are all supported by forces much bigger than ourselves. You may call it god, divine spirit, the universe, or any of a number of other terms. Or you may think that the concept is nonsense.

I invite you to consider that we hold energy and there are energetic forces that respond to the positive or negative beliefs we hold energetically. In my experience, we get more back of whatever energy we hold and project.

When we trust that there is a universal energy force supporting us as we trust; supporting us when we believe that we are able to powerfully create in our lives; and supporting us when we believe that we can all bring our gifts and our best selves to approach each moment in our lives with agency, we can experience even greater outcomes and have bigger impacts.

Let’s all choose to trust

The collective power of all of us trusting, of all of us bringing our creative energy into our lives, and all of the good we can bring into the world from this solid foundation, is tremendous.

We can help to make this a better world in remarkable ways.

The first circle of impact we can have is with the people closest to us — our family members, friends, and our coworkers, colleagues and clients.

We also impact our communities — our neighbors and people in organizations we are part of. The impact can expand to our towns and cities and wider circles from there.

We may or may not see tangible evidence of this impact. The ripple effects touch people who touch others, and this is how we are the catalyst for meaningful change.

And that change extends to the broader world.

Goodness knows we need to bring as much positive energy as possible now to being a collective force for good, and for bold action in support of peace and justice and safety for all.

Please join me in the intention to unlock all of our creative power, to trust and tap our inner wisdom, and to bring strength to living our biggest, best lives. Those efforts will have a positive impact on those around us, and the impact will expand exponentially.

I deeply trust the potential of our collective efforts. Thank you for joining me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.