If you’re a hard worker, this is for you

The accomplished women (and men) I speak to nearly always believe they need to work hard.

They believe they must push themselves relentlessly to achieve their goals, to meet the expectations of others (and themselves, too, in many cases), to achieve status, authority and recognition.

Our culture, and the work cultures in which many of us find ourselves, emphasize, celebrate and even glorify hard work.

For most of my life, I believed I needed to work hard — and I did. I also believed that things had to be hard to do.

Doing things that were “hard” seemed to ensure the outcome would be meaningful. Doing those “hard” things also made me feel that I was good enough.

It’s time to bust the myth

I am on a mission to help people everywhere to live big — to live their best lives, to take action with clear intention, to bring all of their greatness forward, and do it without sacrificing their physical wellbeing, their energy or their spirits.

If you want to create a truly fulfilling life where you fully shine, and do it without sacrifice, a great place to focus is on shifting your thinking about how hard it all has to be.

It took me decades to come to new, clear insights, after testing and living and working in new ways.

My hope is that we can all shift away from believing the myth about things needing to be hard.

“It has to be hard” or “It can be easy”?

Then:

I smirked at the ideas that things could be easy!

I not only believed I had to work hard, I believed that most of my important tasks were going to be hard to see through to completion.

When the time frames were tight, or the tasks were daunting, or the scope was intimidating, I told myself how hard it was going to be.

I gritted my teeth and pushed myself.

And, sure enough, it nearly always felt hard. I exhausted myself with all of that pushing.

Now:

I have tested and experienced and benefited from major re-frames to my old habituated thinking.

I have also learned to give myself some grace, and slow down.

My first coach insisted that if I slowed down I would get more done, which I resisted for a very long time. And, when I finally tested it, I found that he was right!

This is the new approach I have learned to use.

• I am selective and clear about the tasks that really matter, and let go of, defer, or delegate the rest.

• I think carefully about the deadlines I create and commit to.

• With fewer things to do I am focused rather than feeling splattered.

• No matter how challenging a project appears to be, if I find myself thinking "It’s going to be hard," I consciously change the message in my head to, “What if it can be easy?”

• I also tell myself, “There’s an abundance of time to do this.”

• And, I make sure I am well rested as I start on the work. This helps me to be focused and clear.

I honor myself with these new practices.

I savor the opportunity to choose what I will do with care. (Yes, that means saying “no” to many things that sound enticing, which takes practice.)

When I do not push, I experience far less stress and do not exhaust myself. I enjoy more energy and I nurture my spirit when I live and work this way.

And the cherry on top is that I am able to get better work done — on time, and often in less time.

All of these results have been life-changing for me.

New practices take time to build

If you read my post from last week, about slowing down, you know that making changes like these is not a one-and-done effort.

I sometimes slide back and need to return to the fundamentals. I get focused and reinforce good practices in order to build stronger habits, time and again. This is true for most people.

It’s when when we build awareness, try and test, and keep returning to new and better ways of thinking and living, that we experience true growth — as well as more ease and joy.

My wonderful coaches, mentors and teachers, past and present, have imparted their wisdom, support and love to help me learn and expand in tremendous ways. I am filled with gratitude for all of them.

I am also grateful for the wonderful support I receive from the people doing the work alongside me, in a fabulous mastermind I am part of.

And I am inspired by the courageous work my clients are doing in their lives, and honored to support them to step into all of their greatness.

What about you?

I invite you to step up and engage in new ways of thinking and try new practices that can help you to live your most fulfilling life.

See if you find that the ideas I share today have impact for you.

And if you want to talk about what your challenges are and the dreams you have for the future, I'd be happy to hear about them. I set aside time each week for a few conversations like this. (And if you are curious, you can ask what support can look like in your life.)

Email me and we’ll make a date.