How to make each day a little easier

When people ask how you are, is your answer usually, “Busy!”? You may use other expressions that convey there's a lot — maybe too much — going on.

Maybe you live in over-drive, like so many accomplished professionals I know and speak to. Some wear their fast-paced, often stress-filled striving like a badge of honor. Some feel exhausted and are looking for a way to reduce the intensity.

Whichever camp you may be in, there is a strikingly simple way to make things easier, that I discovered and use all the time.

Self-talk can provide a huge assist

The frame of mind we choose, and the energy that is supported by our thinking, can result in very different experiences.

Consider these two ways to approach the same situation.

Scenario 1: 

This person sits down at her desk and looks over a huge list of things to do before the end of the day.

She says to herself, “This is going to be hard! It will take all day, and maybe into the evening, to get it done.”

She gets to work and pushes through the hours. She barely takes a break, and finds herself feeling irritable.

Scenario 2: 

Another person starts her day looking at a similar list.

She says to herself, “Wow, there’s a lot on this list! What if it does not have to be hard? What if it’s easy to get through these tasks? I have an abundance of time!”

She starts her work, feeling good about all she will accomplish. She moves from task to task, and takes a brief break each hour. She also makes sure to eat well mid-day.

Their outcomes

In Scenario 1, the day ends with a lot accomplished but she feels depleted. She gets home feeling weary and dreading more of the same for the rest of the week.

In Scenario 2, the day ends with a lot accomplished and she feels satisfied and eager to have a nice evening. She knows there is a lot to do the rest of the week, and knows she will approach each day with a similar orientation.

Turn around thoughts that make life harder

A good rule of thumb that will help you shift your self-talk to experience more ease and better outcomes is to turn around the thoughts that do not support you to bring your best energy to tasks at hand (and hamper your outcomes, too).

That’s right. You can reframe negative thoughts to be the opposite — thus turning them into in positive thoughts.

Our negative way of thinking is often on “automatic,” because we do it so regularly.

It’s easier to change those patterns than you may think.

Here are some examples. I’ll begin with a review of the common thoughts noted in the scenarios above.

1. “It‘s going to be hard.”

Most of us use this statement without considering its impact.

Here are a few ways this thinking can show up:
“Making our travel arrangements is going to be hard.”
“This will be a hard conversation.”
“It’s always hard to find the best solution to problems like this one.”

We set ourselves up for struggle when we think this way at the start.

By turning each around, we can feel positive, and maybe even look forward to the experience of making those travel arrangements or solving those problems. In the case of anticipating a “hard” conversation, a turnaround statement helps us defuse the heavy emotion and approach the conversation with more ease. This shift may even help you feel more confident.

2. “There’s not enough time.”

This is something I found myself saying nearly daily for years. One day, my coach looked at a full agenda of things we planned to get through in a day, and said, “There’s a lot here, and we have an abundance of time!”

Not only did her energy shift when she said that, mine did, too. We found that we moved through everything we intended, and really enjoyed the process.

I have been reminding myself that there is an abundance of time ever since, and it’s been a game-changer. My clients have loved adopting this approach, too.

3. “This is complicated.” 

Sure, some things are complex, but you can look at the same circumstances and say, “I can figure this out! It may not be so complicated.”

Can you envision how differently you will feel as you move ahead with this frame of mind?

4. “This is stressful.”

You might turn this statement around and tell yourself, “This is an interesting situation. It feels stressful, but it does not have to be.” 

What other negative thoughts can you notice, and start to turn around?

Start paying attention to your self-talk today

When you bring awareness to habitual ways of thinking that make your life harder, you are able to consciously make small (and significant) shifts in your thinking. Why not begin now?

If you try it, and see that day-to-day life becomes easier and more enjoyable, I would love to hear about what is working for you and the difference it’s making.

Leave a comment or email me me to let me know.

And now, I will return to my to-do list for the day. I know I have all the time I need to get through it!

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

If you crave certainty, this is for you

If you celebrated a holiday this past weekend, I hope it was lovely.

We look forward to many events, and hope for gatherings to be happy, friction-free and fun.

Like many moments in life, we crave certainty and we aim to control outcomes — in spite of the fact that such control is unrealistic.

How to let go of control and stress

Of course, we must first acknowledge that there are things beyond our control.

It’s those things that we think we can control that I’m addressing here.

Whether you are hosting a holiday meal or planning a business program, pitching a proposal or heading out for vacation, the impulse to control everything to assure perfection is tempting (and for some, an automatic way to operate).

For most people, that brings on stress — which is not only counter-productive, it hinders that outcome they desire.

Here are three great approaches to try instead:

1. Be clear about the control you have

The only thing we can be certain about is a belief in ourselves. (This may take some cultivating, and I promise it will be a worthwhile endeavor.)

Consider bringing focus to these areas:

• your resourcefulness

• your resilience

• your efforts to do your best

• your trust in yourself

When you focus there, strengthen each of them, and believe in these qualities, you are in the best position to move ahead effectively and with confidence.

2. Let go of the need for perfection

I realize this one is hard for many of us. (I consider myself a “recovering perfectionist,” and this is life-long work for me!)

There are two ways to think about perfection.

• One is to acknowledge that there is no such thing as perfection. This allows us to take things far less seriously, and removes judgement. We can appreciate good and great, not needing “perfect.”

• The other option is to accept that whatever happens is perfect! We can be proud and happy for good outcomes, and can learn from less-than-ideal outcomes. These less-than-stellar results are gifts that can inform our future efforts, and are often the best thing possible in the long-run.

I try to embrace both of these concepts.

3. Give yourself grace

When you embrace points one and two, you can move ahead with a foundation of self-love and self-compassion. You can bring more of your gifts to every project and plan on which you embark.

You can not only trust yourself, you can extend the trust to those with whom you choose to collaborate. And you can trust the universe to support your efforts.

You can appreciate that everything is an opportunity for learning and expansion.

This self-leadership is the foundation for leadership of all sorts in your life. Leading at work, leading the way for healthy relationships, inspiring others as you lead with creativity and vision, committing to ongoing self-awareness, and, ultimately, making the biggest impact.

Are you ready to boldly lead your life?

Every day affords each of us the opportunity for growth and for expansion — for becoming the confident, clear, focused person we aspire to be.

Perhaps you are a woman who yearns to be a stronger leader in your life, and is ready to bring all of your greatness forward to create your most inspired future.

If that resonates with you, let’s talk.

Email me and we’ll make a date to explore the dreams you have and what’s in the way. I would be happy to provide insights, and may have resources to offer you.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

Looking for fresh inspiration? Check out these 3 big ideas.

The glory of spring is palpable, and getting most of us excited — excited to be outdoors in warmer temperatures, excited to see colors blooming, excited to begin to see people in person. I enjoyed a wonderful walk with a colleague on Friday afternoon, and look forward to more opportunities to see people, ideally outdoors.

Getting outside is one of many great ways to get inspired. We’ve been cooped up for so long, and while video calls have kept us connected, the chance to be together for real feels great.

How to create inspiration when it goes AWOL

No matter the time of year or the external constraints (the pandemic having been a huge one for the last two years), we all have times when we feel uninspired, or experience a dip in energy and enthusiasm.

When that happens, it can help to have a short cheat-sheet for ways to find a spark.

Here are three great ways to light up your spirits.

These approaches can build enthusiasm for a task at hand, get you excited about taking on a big new project, can help you overcome doubt, and can generally get you feeling more alive and excited.

1. Invite a great conversation

I often say that everything good happens in a conversation. Sure, email is great, and texting has its place, but an actual conversation offers so much more possibility.

And if that conversation happens in person, all the better! (The walk with my colleague on Friday was richer because we spent time together on a circuit around a gorgeous reservoir and had a far-reaching conversation.)

The key is to invite people who think positively, who are curious, maybe funny, and in whose company you feel happy.

2. Look for wonder

I wrote a chapter titled See Wonder, in my book.

Why?

Because wonder lights us up. It inspires us and connects us to our hearts. And most of us miss it as we rush through our days.

When we tune in to the wonder that is all around us — beauty in nature; a shadow created by light streaming through a window; the colors, textures and tastes of lovely food, for example — our outlook about everything is buoyed.

We all have a camera on hand! Why not look for wonder and capture that moment with the camera on your phone. You can pause to savor wonder in the moment, and reconnect to the wonder any time as you pursue the photos in your library.

3. Play!

I also wrote a chapter on Play in my book.

And, this topic is still a work-in progress for me. I think it is for many adults.

The more I have learned about play, the more impressed I am about the power that plays has for us. We can all benefit from returning to the power of play that most of us experienced as kids.

When we play things don’t feel so serious. Fear drops away. When we get silly and experiment, we stop worrying about mistakes and are more focused on possibilities. We are in the moment, present and excited.

When we play and feel joy, life feels expansive. We create with ease!

I know that the possibility of letting go to play with abandon can feel risky for some. Maybe you were “good at” play as a kid, and maybe not. At some point nearly all of us were told it was time to get serious, we played less, and we are out of practice.

Why not look for opportunities to bring play into your life, and practice it?

Inspiration fuels creativity

And creativity is the key to making the life you deeply desire a reality.

Life is precious. Each day counts.

When you stay inspired, when you are truly self-aware and focused, when you learn to bring all of your best self into the world and are able to navigate the inevitable challenges (big and small) as they show up, you can create an inspired, fulfilling life.

Many accomplished, thoughtful women want that life, and yet don’t know how to get there, or struggle to do it on their own.

Perhaps some of these thought have occurred to you:

I am ready to stop settling for less than what’s possible.
I feel there is something more I want to explore or do.
I know I am ready to take a bold step in my life, but I don’t know what it is.
I know it's time for me to stop living small.

If thoughts like these feel familiar, and you want to explore what is possible for you, let’s talk.

The Spring 2022 Live Big Live! program is kicking off soon. If you are ready to light up your spirit, get clear about your vision, and create an inspired future with intention, email me and we’ll see if this program is a fit for you.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

Don’t miss out on the subtle gifts of the season

There is no doubt that living through the pandemic for over 2 years has changed us. Even those fortunate enough to have remained healthy and working productively are realizing ways that they have been impacted.

Researchers are now sharing more insights about sleep interruption; mental health problems caused by isolation, grief and worry; stress associated with everything from economic changes to parenting children of every age; and physical challenges that include unusually early starts of menstruation, weight gain, lack of exercise, and the damage the body suffers from sitting for hours on end.

I am grateful that spring (which is just becoming evident here in New England) is here — on the calendar and in front of our eyes. With this new season we can approach our lives in many ways that will support our physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.

Spring offers many gifts

Most of us think about spring as a time of warmer temperatures, blooming flowers and trees, and the delight of being outdoors with ease.

And I am grateful for all of that!

There is also a deeper layer of opportunity and insight we can explore. We are more closely connected to the rhythms and energy of nature than many of us realize. There is an intelligence in nature we can tap into now.

We just lived through the season of winter and receptivity.

Nature inspired us to be more quiet and reflective, connecting to deep inner knowing. It was a time to dream and feel inspired to create visions for what we want.

Spring shifts us into the season of embodiment — and this is a time to focus on being.

We can focus on becoming the person who will activate the insights and visions of winter — and become energized to plant the seeds for all that we dreamed of creating.

When we are fully embodied, awakened and inspired, we can plant the seeds with care and tend to the seeds. Even when challenges appear (which is inevitable), we can keep our energy strong, stay focused, and bring loving devotion to the effort of nurturing what we aim to create.

How to embrace the energy of the season

When I embark on anything new — and I have a lot of new things I am planting seeds for now — I first aim to feel as inspired as possible. One thing that always opens my heart is seeing great art.

This weekend I went to the Museum of Fine Arts (for only the second time since the start of the pandemic). I chose to spend most of my time in galleries that were not crowded, and the gift was that I found incredible treasures. They provided wonderful inspiration.

A brisk walk near the museum offered a great wake-up for many muscle groups in my stiff body. And spotting early signs of color and plant growth lifted my spirits to even great heights.

While it was not on my plan for the day, when I got home I felt a huge desire to paint! I turned on my favorite music and three hours of creating flew by. New ideas came pouring in, too.

This positioned me to start the week filled with energy, brimming with big ideas, and feeling physically vibrant.

How will you make the most of the season?

Each day we have the opportunity to renew and bolster our energy, to support vibrant physical wellbeing and a strong spirit.

As you focus on who you are becoming in this season of growth, think about what seeds you feel called to plant now.

And think about how will you keep your energy strong, to tend to them over time.

Spend a few minutes focusing on what lights you up, opens your heart, inspires you. What opportunities are accessible to you, to excite you now?

Maybe you will pass on a museum visit and hop on your bike, or plan a social event with special friends in a gorgeous place, or try a new kind of yoga, or play an instrument, or start a dance party, or explore a scenic town.

I would love to hear what you choose, and what happens when you activate your energy to make the most of this glorious season. Leave a comment, or email me.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

Focus on this energy to help yourself — and the world

I pick a card from a deck of oracle cards each morning. This daily practice, that I started in January, centers and grounds me. I sit down at my desk, a candle lit beside me, and begin to focus my energy and attention around the message I receive. After I write for a while I move into action.

I am often struck by how the card I draw is just what I need on a given day. Some recent examples have been “Breakthrough,” “Action,” “Commitment,” “Playfulness.”

And sometimes, I draw a card that surprises me a bit. When that happens, as it did today, I spend a little more time considering what it is I can learn, or how I can be inspired by the message on the card.

The card I drew today?

“Compassion”

And the affirmation stated on the card is:

“The vibration of compassion shines through my every cell!”

The importance of compassion now

One dictionary definition of compassion is:

“sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it”

I do not disagree. And yet I started thinking about this word, and its message for me — and all of us — in a broader way today.

With all that is happening in the world, compassion for those who are suffering is a sensation most of us are feeling, and with which many of us are struggling. We live thousands of miles from many tragic world events, we are in close proximity to the continued suffering caused by COVID, and we feel for countless people everywhere who experience distress of many kinds.

It can feel overwhelming to think about all of the suffering we wish we could alleviate.

And, while it may sound counterintuitive, I know there is a way that we can increase our power to positively impact others.

We need to bring compassion to ourselves first

When we cultivate true compassion for ourselves, we can fully love and unconditionally accept ourselves. With this foundation we can have more impact for others in need.

I write often about ways we can strengthen self-love and how to bring more love into the world. (You may want to check out this article about love and self-love. And this article has 3 quick steps to give your spirits a boost.)

Cherish yourself. Affirm your belief that you are amazing, deserving, capable, powerful and creative. In addition to focusing your thoughts this way, you may want to create a mantra for yourself and repeat it often, to bolster self-love.

Aim to let go of judgement, shame or guilt, if you notice thoughts like that showing up. How? Spot those thoughts and replace them with positive, loving thoughts. (You might repeat your mantra.)

The energy of compassion is stronger than you may think

I deeply believe in the power of love to heal us. When we are filled with self-love, and focused on radiating loving thoughts and actions, we shine more of our light to others — near and far.

What we focus on is what we get.

If you allow fear, bitterness or stress to occupy your thoughts, those will build.

So, consider how you can keep your focus on the positive.

• Perhaps, if you meditate, you will bring a simple loving mantra into that practice.

• You might talk about the power of love in conversations with others today

• If you write in a journal, you may want to focus on love in any of its forms.

The more you activate, and spread, your love and light, the more it grows in you. And the more that energy touches others.

Let’s all leverage positive energy

The energetic field of positive vibration will grow and become more powerful the more we each nurture loving energy, and the more we inspire others to expand loving energy.

By collectively bringing a focus of loving compassion to our lives and the lives of others, we bring fuel to alleviating suffering. Coupled with action, these synergistic forces are powerful.

We can all play our part and sustain this energy.

Let’s do this together. Will you join me?

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

What I stopped tolerating — that may inspire you.

For years I have struggled to stay organized. Maybe you can relate. I typically have lots of projects underway, and I take lots of notes. The result? A lot of paper — paper that I get too busy to keep organized.

Add to that, I am a visual person, so seeing folders (or piles of papers) for various projects feels comforting to me.

The result? A chaotic desk that leads to stress.

When the stress builds up I bring in help — I work with a great professional organizer. She has helped me enormously over the years. Yet in spite of the updated systems and many great suggestions she has made, I continued to slip back into cycles of desk chaos.

And I continued to tolerate waves of that stress.

But I am no longer willing to do so.

What do we tolerate and why?

Many of us tolerate a lot. We tolerate clutter — both physical clutter and emotional clutter — that can range from mild to intense.

Mild annoyances can look like tolerating someone leaving dirty dishes for others to wash, or occasional rudeness you choose to shrug off. Seriously problematic things might include tolerating unhealthy environments or abusive behavior.

And while my cluttered desk pales in comparison to someone tolerating emotional abuse, it’s interesting to consider why we tolerate whatever it is that causes us stress.

We tolerate things for several reasons.

• We are not clear about our standards, or the standards of the group we are part of.

• We want to avoid awkward or difficult conversations.

• We want to be comfortable more than we are willing to make a change.

• We do not feel strong enough to stand up for ourselves.

• We feel hopeless or afraid.

• We do not feel deserving.

Each of these could be fully covered in a separate article, and each can entail a lot of personal exploration. (For today, we’ll focus on one illustration that can apply to a range of issues.)

Some challenges on this list may be easier for some people to overcome than others, and some take time and support to address.

It may be helpful to pinpoint what is in the way for you, for a given matter (or matters) that you are tolerating.

Until we decide we will not tolerate it, nothing changes

No matter the issue, and no matter the reason, change will only happen when we decide we are ready for things to change. We are ready to take action.

What does it take to make a change?

• Setting new standards.

• Deciding that you are worthy (of respect, of not being taken advantage of by others, of an environment that supports your wellbeing — to name but a few).

• Being willing to take a stand for what matters to you and courageously making changes.

In the case of my messy desk, being willing to make a change had been my problem. For a very long time it was more “comfortable” to continue tolerating clutter and stress.

When I set a new standard for myself, decided I deserved to feel happier and less stressed, and was willing to do what I needed to do to improve the situation, things did change.

When we are unwilling to tolerate something we find solutions

If you want to start addressing something relatively small, consider the case of my disorganized desk.

After getting help to deal with everything that was stacked on my desk — creating new folders, updating my filing approach and filling a recycle bin with papers I did not even need — I had a “clean start.”

I took the plunge and invested in an electronic tablet on which to take all of my notes by hand. I set up a system of folders on the tablet that is clear and easy for me to use. Right from the start I hardly wrote on paper at all. And for the last two weeks my desk has remained clear!

After the first week I realized that another layer of process was needed: to extract action-items, and suggested resources to follow-up on, from meeting notes. (There are no longer page flags on paper to signal things for follow-up, which were not very effective anyway.)

I am in the process of refining my new systems now, but I love the changes I am making. And I am asking for help to take the pressure off of feeling like I need to figure it all out, perfectly, myself.

My daily work experience makes me so much happier now, and that translates to getting more done with ease.

What one small thing are you ready to stop tolerating now?

I always recommend that people start by making a small change before tackling big ones.

Is there something that’s come to mind that you want to stop tolerating?

Consider the reason (or reasons) you have continued to tolerate the matter.

Next, look back at the things noted above that will support you to make a change, and consider what steps you can take.

Why not start today — even if that means simply brainstorming options, or deciding who can help you, or reminding yourself that you deserve this and can do it, or researching helpful resources?

Starting is key. Then take another small step.

Once you are in action, you will gain momentum. And when you have decluttered the physical or emotional matter (in a single day or over a longer span of time), you will have done something great for yourself.

The next time you are ready to make a change, you will have a foundation of success to build on. And you will feel able to tackle something bigger, if and when necessary.

I would be happy to hear about the changes you bring into your life when you decide there are things you are no longer willing to tolerate. Leave a comment or email me.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

What choices will you make today?

Considering how much accomplished people like us do each day, and considering the demands on our time and attention — from work matters, to family responsibilities, to concerns about world events — it’s no wonder that many of us feel stressed.

It’s easy to feel pulled in many directions as we move through each day. It can feel like trying to juggle too many balls at once.

This state of being can be exhausting. And sometimes it feels like there's no way to avoid the pressure.

Yet, there is an alternative to living with stress.

You always get to choose

While many pressures may feel beyond your control, the truth is that we always have choices, and we get to choose.

Here are three ways you can do that.

1. You can choose your frame of mind

This is a big opportunity, and one that many people never consider.

It may feel like an automatic response to be overwhelmed when there’s a lot going on, or demands are being made of us. We tend to approach everything with overwhelmed energy.

In fact, you can choose the way you respond.

You can choose to slow down.

You can choose to breathe with intention.

You can choose to be thoughtful, and to move forward calmly.

You can choose to be optimistic. You can choose to be supportive. You can choose to bring humor to the moment.

The energy you bring into any conversation or effort impacts the outcome you will experience.

What frame of mind and energy do you want to choose right now?

2. You can choose to be curious

Rather than jumping to judgement — of yourself or others — when things do not go as you wish, you can choose to be open, observant and curious.

Making the choice to observe and be curious entails slowing down. A benefit of slowing down is that you can think a bit and create your next step forward or your response, rather that reacting in the heat of the moment.

Curiosity can inspire you to ask great questions.

You might ask,

Why are things happening as they are?

What if I/we try a new approached to see what happens?

What might be possible that I never considered?

Questions like these put you on a path of discovery.

What can you consider with curiosity today?

3. You can choose relationships that make you happy

While there may be difficult people in your life with whom you must be connected, there are many people you can intentionally choose to include, or not include.

You get to choose to spend time with people who show up with positive energy.

And you get to minimize or end connections to people who are negative, harsh, critical, angry, or unkind. (I know this may sound hard to do, particularly if you are a people-pleaser, but it can be done.)

“Toxic” relationships take a toll on us.

Why not choose to surround yourself with people who show up with joy, love, fun and optimism? (And why not choose to minimize time with those who drain your energy, even as you must stay connected?)

This is a great time to make a list of people with whom you want to spend more time, and those you want to see less of — or stop seeing.

When you choose with intention, you create the life you want

I hope you feel inspired to bring awareness to how you use your energy each day.

Will you choose to be positive?

Consider your outlook and choose a bright one. Consider opportunities to be curious and explore. And consider being with people who will buoy your spirits. 

When all of us tap into positive energy this way we bring our best selves to everything we do. We have the biggest impact because we live more of our greatness. 

Your life will be enriched, and the world will benefit.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

How to stay strong now

We are living day by day in the midst of troubling world events.

We have been especially challenged for the last two years, and life always includes challenges. Now, the invasion in Ukraine fills us with deep pain and concern.

We need strength

Truthfully, we always need strength. We need strength to cope with challenges related to health matters, strained relationships, loss and grief, financial pressures, uncertainty, and a host of small daily issues that can knock us off course.

And in this moment, we especially need to find strength — for ourselves, for each other, and to send into the world to support people everywhere who are at risk.

How to find strength

When we are stressed, connecting to our strength may feel difficult. This process may help you:

1. Connect to your emotions.

When you slow down and identify what you are feeling, you have awareness of your current state. Rather than pushing these emotions down, allow yourself to name them and feel them.

(You may want to check out the article I wrote last week, where I shared great ways to give difficult emotions an outlet.)

2. Create calm.

Getting still and quiet allows you to breathe with intension and calm your system.

You may want to place your hands on your heart and imagine your heart breathing in love on each inhale. With each exhale, allow yourself to release tension, as you consciously relax your body.

(You can do this for as little as a single minute, you can quietly breath calmly for longer stretches, and you can pause and create calm multiple times in your day.)

3. Try using the Discovery Dozen™ exercise.

If you have my book, you are familiar with this great tool, that can be used in many ways.

The Discovery Dozen structure is simple. It begins with creating a fill-in-the-blank sentence. You then complete the sentence 12 times, each time with a different ending. The key is to write quickly and not edit yourself.

Try this one.

First jot down a challenging emotion you identified (or pick one, if several came up for you). Now you are ready to construct your Discovery Dozen sentence. Write it at the top of the page:

To find my strength in spite of feeling [your emotion], I ____________ .

Quickly complete that sentence 12 times. (You can number 1 through 12 down the side of the page to make it easy to write quickly without pausing to count.)

For example, your completed sentences might say:

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I can remind myself of times I bravely stood up for myself.

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I can remember I am not in danger right now.

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I will find organizations to support, to help others.

You can make more Discovery Dozen sentences, to explore other dimensions of strength. Consider these possibilities:

I feel strong when _____________ .

When I feel strong I can/ I know/ _____________ .

To help others feel strong I can _____________ .

And feel free to make your own Discovery Dozen sentences, to both explore questions and generate ideas.

Couple strength with love

Strength takes many forms — some obvious, some bold, some subtle.

Your Discovery Dozen sentences may have illuminated many kinds of strength, that can be leveraged in many ways.

And when strength is matched with love, the impact can be astounding.

If we all support ourselves and each other with love and strength we can have more impact that you might imagine.

We can believe in the power of each person to hold, share, and send love.

We can commit to taking action — in many forms — rather than sitting by in distress. (One great idea is to make purchases of digital products from Ukrainian artists on Etsy, or tell them not to fulfill tangle product orders and keep the funds. Etsy is not charging Ukrainian artists service fees.)

We can hold the highest energetic vibration of love and send it to those in need of support anywhere on the globe, and those working to broker peace.

We can pray together, believing in the forces of love, light, and courage, and that this collective energetic force can impact the course of the conflict.

In these ways we can contribute to better outcomes, as we also support our own wellbeing.

When we stay strong and keep loving. we can help to create a better world.

A simple question can change your life

Questions open our thinking. Of course there are many kinds of questions, and asking them can lead to many kinds of outcomes.

Let’s consider a very simple question, and how powerful the impact can be when we use it.

What if...?

“What if?” never fails to be a good question.

It opens your thinking to considering all sorts of possibilities, and it’s wonderful because it does that without making you feel pressured.

Something I especially love is that “What if?” questions also open the door to broad and creative thinking.

Let’s test a great “What if?” question

You can use the “What if?” question in countless ways, and the answers can be revelatory and wide-ranging.

I especially love this particular “What if?” question, and the many ways it can be extended:

What if you trusted?

Ponder that a moment. This is a big question that is worth turning over in your mind.

Next, move on to considering these variations. See what shows up for you.

What if you trusted yourself?

Can you imagine not second-guessing yourself? Can you envision living with trust in yourself and rather than with doubt? What if you could live without fear of making mistakes, or failing?

What if you trusted your heart?

What would your life be like if you connected to the desires in your heart — what you want — and felt deserving of those desires, and honored them? What if you also honored the passions in your heart?

What if you trusted your intuition?

Of course, that begins with hearing intuitive messages. Many of us hear these whispers (and shouts) and push them aside or override them. What would change if you trusted those nuggets of wisdom?

What if you trusted that you can move forward every day, and adjust and course-correct as needed?

This takes us back to the question of trusting yourself, but gets more specific. Can you imagine being focused and intentional, and also flexible and creative when things do not go as you expected, or new obstacles show up?

What if you trusted that you can get the help you need?

Many of us think we need to do everything ourselves. Many of us think that we are the only ones who can do things well enough, or to meet our own high standards. Many of us feel that soldiering on in spite of struggle is noble, or that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Can you imagine trusting yourself to find help, to let go of control, and to allow others to support you?

What if you trusted and believed that you have everything you need inside of you?

Can you believe and trust that you hold the answers you seek, and the ability to learn and grow and expand? Can you believe and trust that you are enough — in fact, that you are already perfect?

You may need some help to trust these ideas, and to believe you have that strength.

Can you imagine how having that trust and belief could be significant for you?

What if you trusted the universe?

I know that for many people this is a harder question, and it may feel a bit far out. I believe that we are all supported by forces much bigger than ourselves. You may call it god, divine spirit, the universe, or any of a number of other terms. Or you may think that the concept is nonsense.

I invite you to consider that we hold energy and there are energetic forces that respond to the positive or negative beliefs we hold energetically. In my experience, we get more back of whatever energy we hold and project.

When we trust that there is a universal energy force supporting us as we trust; supporting us when we believe that we are able to powerfully create in our lives; and supporting us when we believe that we can all bring our gifts and our best selves to approach each moment in our lives with agency, we can experience even greater outcomes and have bigger impacts.

Let’s all choose to trust

The collective power of all of us trusting, of all of us bringing our creative energy into our lives, and all of the good we can bring into the world from this solid foundation, is tremendous.

We can help to make this a better world in remarkable ways.

The first circle of impact we can have is with the people closest to us — our family members, friends, and our coworkers, colleagues and clients.

We also impact our communities — our neighbors and people in organizations we are part of. The impact can expand to our towns and cities and wider circles from there.

We may or may not see tangible evidence of this impact. The ripple effects touch people who touch others, and this is how we are the catalyst for meaningful change.

And that change extends to the broader world.

Goodness knows we need to bring as much positive energy as possible now to being a collective force for good, and for bold action in support of peace and justice and safety for all.

Please join me in the intention to unlock all of our creative power, to trust and tap our inner wisdom, and to bring strength to living our biggest, best lives. Those efforts will have a positive impact on those around us, and the impact will expand exponentially.

I deeply trust the potential of our collective efforts. Thank you for joining me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

The truth about forgiveness

Who among us hasn’t dealt with the issues of resentment and forgiveness?

When our feelings are hurt, it stings.

And when we experience more serious situations — where we feel deeply hurt or wronged — pain, resentment and anger are among the emotions that can grip us.

We can be upset about something that feels unjust that has happened to us.

We can be upset on behalf of someone about whom we care deeply.

We can even be upset on behalf of people we do not know, but for whom we feel tremendous empathy — such as a class of mistreated people, or those who are victims of cruelty.

How to cope with the pressure of resentment

Resentment brings on emotions that feel justified. If we keep them pent up, it often feels like tension is building inside, and that is an awful sensation.

But it does not have to be that way for long.

Allow yourself to feel all the emotion.

It’s important to acknowledge what you are feeling, and feel it all, without fear of the strong emotion. You can feel safe to feel it all if you don’t sit endlessly in the emotion and allow it to smolder or grow.

Here’s how to keep that from happening:

Give the emotion you feel an outlet.

You might journal about the anger or pain or bitterness you feel, or stomp it out on a walk in the woods.

Maybe you'll make a hideous picture of the anger, to wring the emotion out of your system.

Maybe you will turn up harsh music and dance out what is burdening you, until you feel spent.

Find what works for you, and know that any of these approaches will help free you of the emotional load of those heavy feelings.

Now you can consider forgiveness

Forgiving someone used to feel nearly impossible for me. It was not a problem for small slights or hurts, but when someone behaved in a way that had a deep negative impact for me, I was unable to imagine being able to forgive them.

This was modeled for me growing up. There were stories in my family about people who held onto grievances for years. And I witnessed some examples of that myself.

I wanted that division and bitterness to end, rather than continue to be a family trait. And yet, I personally struggled to be able to forgive. I could not forget what felt so painful, so how could I forgive?

At that time, I did not have tools or insights to help me, as I do now. Pain and resentment and bitterness lingered and festered, before I learned the ways to release the negative energy that I described above.

And then I learned more about forgiveness.

I learned that when when I felt unable to forgive, I was primarily hurting myself. That was a huge insight for me.

And when a wise person told me it was not necessary to forget in order to be able to forgive — and that I did need to excuse the person for the matter that hurt so much — the doors to healing opened for me.

I made the choice to forgive.

I realized that the prolonged suffering — that I felt, and that the other party apparently felt — was doing nothing to rectify the issue that set the chain of pain in motion.

I did not ask for or feel the need for an apology, or any acknowledgement.

I simply moved forward with love. I said I was putting the past behind me and asked if the other party wanted to move forward that way.

I am so glad the answer was yes. And I continue to be deeply grateful that I learned this lesson when I did.

We can all step into the light

I wish I could say that I’ve never needed to forgive since that day. That is hardly the case.

I find myself faced with matters from time to time that call on me to feel and release pain and hurt, and then forgive.

Sometimes I address the matter directly, as happened years back. Sometimes I make a private decision to forgive and move forward.

In both situations, I make the choice to live with love as my guiding force — for myself and the party I forgive.

I envision myself standing in the light of that love, at the highest energetic vibration I can feel. That energy keeps me moving forward, free from the weight of pain or resentment.

I believe that in time (and sometimes it takes more time than others), the love and the light I feel will be felt by the person I send it to.

So far, the evidence has been clear, and I trust that as I continue to forgive with love, I will see the same outcomes.

Are you ready to give yourself this gift?

If you are holding any bitterness in your heart, I invite you to explore the practice of letting yourself feel it with awareness, and then experiment with ways to release the emotion, to give yourself a sense of palpable relief.

You may need to do this more than once to feel better. That’s fine! You will know when you feel ready to consider the next step, forgiveness.

To begin to forgive, you might simply send loving thoughts toward the person you have been upset with.

You might suggest a conversation to declare that you want to move ahead with a fresh start, and ask if they want that as well.

If that feels like too big a step to take, you might send an email and not mention anything about the old issue. You can simply suggest spending time together doing something pleasant, and see if they want to join you. Even if it takes time, you can continue to make invitations like that.

In time, you may get a “Yes.”

And until that time, you will feel lighter, and free from the burden of resentment.

That is a fabulous gift.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Love doesn’t have to be complicated

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Maybe you (like me) are feeling tired of the way the focus on love feels commercialized, manipulative and superficial in our culture.

Perhaps you are cynical about love, or feel it is missing or lacking in your life, or you doubt its importance.

Perhaps you crave more love, in any of the ways it can touch your heart.

What if you simply let yourself feel love?

We spend so much time living in our heads.

It’s when we choose not to think so much and drop into our hearts and our bodies, that we have the opportunity to get to the pure essence of love, and experience it in ways that fill us with delight.

Try this simple practice and see what happens:

Spend 3 minutes of quiet and connect to your heart.

You might set a timer, or just choose to sit in stillness for a little while.

Cross your hands over your heart. As you breathe, feel into the energy of your heart.

Pay attention to the sensations you feel.

Ask what your heart desires.

Listen closely.

Even if you hear only whispers, the information and insights are important to honor. And if you feel an absence of insight, try sitting a bit longer. Or try again later or tomorrow.

Next — no matter what you found — actively appreciate yourself. Send love to you, for being with yourself this way, and for being the amazing person you are.

Savor the sweetness of this experience.

This process is a way you can experience and cultivate self-love. Even if it feels subtle, it can be more powerful than you may imagine.

And the more you make this practice a part of your life, the bigger the benefits will be.

Consider expanding your self-love practice.

Gaze at yourself in the mirror each morning and smile warmly at you!

Focus on treating yourself to experiences that delight you. You deserve them.

Maybe a brisk walk each morning makes you feel alive and excited for your day. Make that a priority!

Maybe preparing clean healthy foods makes you feel great. Plan your day so there is ample time for that preparation, as well as savoring the food you cook.

Maybe adding a new color to your environment will lift your spirits each day. How can you bring in a splash of that color, perhaps with a throw pillow, or by painting an accent wall in a space you use a lot? Maybe you will choose to wear that color more.

Maybe visiting galleries or museums lights you up, or music stirs your heart. Make inspiration dates to bring joy like that into your life.

You will effortlessly begin to spread more love.

When we are filled with love for ourselves we can spread love to others with ease and joy. We naturally feel more affection and connection to everyone around us.

The expression of this loving energy can show up as smiling more at people (even strangers), expressing appreciation, and engaging in small acts of kindness.

And, at times when you might have typically felt annoyed or frustrated or angry with someone (friends or strangers), you may instead find yourself able to send them loving thoughts, or wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt.

When you spread loving energy — even wordlessly — you support your own wellbeing, and often shift the energy in the person or people around you in ways you cannot perceive.

The power of love can change your life.

Last week I was honored to lead a remarkable group of women for three days of deep work, infused by love, at my winter Live Big Live! retreat.

We began the journey 45 days before the retreat. We came together and dove deep into shaping visions for the future that were rooted in knowing that comes from a deep connection to the heart.

Love was the foundation for everything we did. Love infused each experience included in the program, that culminated in so many big outcomes.

Each woman connected to ways to cultivate self-love that had deep meaning for her. They each unabashedly honored themselves and their gifts, and claimed the desires in their hearts. They were able to step into honoring those desires, and begin to take concrete steps to make them their reality.

Shifts like this cannot happen in an instant. Practice is needed, and over the weeks and at the retreat, we practiced together.

With a foundation of self-love, each of the women naturally supported the others with tremendous love. The energetic connections were palpable and powerful.

Even without deep immersion and guidance, you can bring the power of love into your life in bigger ways than ever.

I invite you to start with the practice described above, and expand it as you feel inspired.

You will reap beautiful rewards.

If you wish to share your experience, or have questions, I would be happy to hear from you.

Email me to let me know how this resonates for you.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

These 3 questions may wake up your heart

Last week I had the privilege of spending four inspiring days doing deep personal work. I shared the experience with an amazing group of people, led by my remarkable coach, Michelle Villalobos.

Michelle is a business coach. I initially wanted her help to build my coaching practice, and she has certainly helped me do that. But the reason I continue to work with her is that she is on a path of doing her own deep work. She is focused on being — on who she is and how she shows up in her life — and she is a fearless explorer of this territory. She brings what she is learning into the lives of her clients.

If you have read my book, you know how aligned Michelle and I are about the importance of focusing on who we are becoming and how we show up in the world. We both believe that this is the key to being a leader in your life, which then makes it easier to build a great business — or do anything else you set out to do.

To impact the world with your gifts you need to start with the inside work.

What I dove into last week

The theme of our retreat was big: creating the new. As you can imagine, this was immensely meaningful for me. We explored how we create, what each person’s ideas are for the new they want to create, and what it will take, personally, for each of us to audaciously create in ways that will have a tremendous impact.

This was intense work, but there was also play!

I loved experiencing an afternoon of freedom, fun and laughter as I allowed myself to create with crazy materials, fueled by great music. I let go of concern about making something “good” and drew from my intuition without overthinking. It was liberating and I loved my imperfect finished piece.

And I loved watching people, some of whom had not made art since they were kids, and many who declared they did not consider themselves creative, allowing themselves to relax, play freely, and make amazing works. I witnessed joy as they shared, many claiming that they loved what they made and loved their new beliefs about themselves.

Why community is important

Magic happens when people gather this way. We learn from one another and inspire one another. The time away from “real life” gives us so much to bring back and apply to the work we do. And it supports us to each live with more awareness and intention.

3 questions you can ask yourself now

As I integrate the powerful experience I lived, I am happy to share several questions I was asked to answer. Perhaps they will be helpful and enlightening for you.

1. What can you let go of now to open the way to living your biggest, most promising life?

You might chose to let go of doubt, or perfectionism, or fear, or an old story that does not serve you — or any other limitation you want to release.

2. What power, within you, do you want to claim?

You might want to claim courage, or conviction, or passion for a cause, to name a few possibilities.

3. What new quality or project or mission do you yearn to bring into being, that will make an impact on your own life, and by extension can impact the world around you?

This question may sound daunting to ponder, but I invite you to consider that every meaningful creation you aim for — be it small or grand — can be life-changing for you, and can have ripple effects that reach beyond what you can even imagine.

Do you feel called to step into something bigger?

My work, my mission, is to unleash the untapped creative capacity inside women (and men) everywhere, so they bring all of their greatness into the world.

I am committed to using the power of love as the driving force of my work, because I know love can inspire people to embrace their full capacity to create, express and expand.

This vision inspires me every day.

And as grand as that mission sounds (and I hold a huge vision for what it will look like in the future), the growth is rooted in many small first steps.

Over and over again, what appear to be small events fuel the expansion of my mission. It’s all about having one conversation at a time.

In each connection with a woman who hears a voice inside (that may be whispering or may be shouting) that she is ready to let go of what is in her way; that she wants to find, claim and leverage her power; and that she wants to usher in something new and important to create a brighter future, a connection is made. And there is a possibility that we may be aligned.

When there is alignment, when we both believe that my support can help a woman to stop living small and step into creating her biggest life, there is true magic. Nothing is more gratifying for me than to usher in greatness and set ripple effects into motion.

And when a group of great women embark on the work with me, the power of the community accelerates the growth of each individual!

Taking a small first step can be your portal to a big future

If you feel called to take a big step up in your life, let’s make a date to talk soon. Simply email me and we’ll make that happen.

There may be alignment, or not, but one things is certain: It will be a meaningful conversation that will have an impact in your life.

And that aligns perfectly for me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Why clarity matters (and how to find it)

So many of us push. We strive. We buy into the notion of needing to “crush our goals.”

That language is like having a whip lashing at us, pushing us to constantly work harder, move faster, and do more.

That energy is exhausting. It makes you feel like you can never do enough. And it is often counter-productive.

What if you are enough right now?

What if you simply need to let yourself shine?

What if you trust yourself to be fully present and authentic, to share your wisdom and passion with grace and confidence?

What if you are clear about what you want, what you believe, what matters, and stay present to that?

Imagine how different it would feel compared to struggling under the self-imposed (and culturally-imposed) pressure so many of us endure.

And imagine how differently your ideas and words would be received.

When you have clarity all of this is possible

My journey has taught me so much, and I am grateful to be able to share what I have learned with so many great women with whom I work.

Here’s a case that illustrates a lot.

On Sunday, I led my Dream Big Vision-Board Workshop, and was blown away by the remarkable women who joined me. They showed up wanting to create a vision for a fabulous year, and dove deep.

What most moved me was seeing each of them get focused and clear about who they want to become to live the lives they long for. Because everything begins with the way we show up in our lives.

From there they were able to identify what they want to do that really matters to them, and what they want to have to make their lives exciting, meaningful and rewarding.

As often happens, surprises showed up along the way.

New desires and priorities emerged for some as they found clarity. New foundations became clear, such as the insight that being surrounded by the beauty of nature, color, or flowers would fill several of them with joy, and thus enable them to show up and truly shine in many areas of their lives.

They are all excited about living into the visions they created and made visual in the workshop!

What clarity really means, and what it does

When you connect to desire that is rooted in your heart, you have natural fuel for commitment to take action.

I have observed over and over in the years I have led this workshop and coached, that excitement, and belief in what is possible, are byproducts of true clarity.

In combination, they lead you to making meaningful progress.

Experiencing the progress that you are motivated to bring into your life feels great. And it builds confidence. That confidence inspires continued action, and momentum builds.

That’s how a positive energetic cycle is established, and great things are manifested in women’s lives.

A life fueled by positive energy is possible for you

You may be reading this and think you are far from having clarity and all the good outcomes that can follow.

The truth is, we can all start from wherever we are. That’s what I did not so long ago, and I now guide women to do that every day.

Even if you are figuring things out, feel challenged to identify your true desires, are in the midst of building a base of knowledge and experience, or trying to get clear about the direction you want to pursue, you can grow and thrive without the onerous push we are so often encouraged to embrace.

Guidance is available

Being able to create and sustain a life fueled by positive energy entails more than attending one workshop or reading one book, or listening to a good podcast here and there.

Finding clarity and then shifting into living in new ways is not a one-and-done exercise. And true transformation takes time.

The smoothest path to the life you dream of is to have support — the support of a coach and the support of other great women who are on a similar path.

Once you start it won’t be long before you find yourself shining brightly, as you step into creating the future you desire.

I invite you to schedule a time for us to talk about the dreams and desires you have, and how you can live a life that is fueled by clarity, enthusiasm and positivity with less push, exhaustion and frustration. Maybe my Live Big Live! program will offer the support you need, or an upcoming workshop will get you started.

Email me and I'll send you a link to my calendar. (There’s no cost or obligation for us to meet, but I offer only a limited number of calls each month. So reach out soon.)

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Do you dare to dream bigger?

We are well into the first month of 2022. I hear people everywhere talking about the goals they’ve set, or that they are considering for the year, and that’s great.

And, I suggest that there’s a bigger question that’s important to ask now. (It’s one I have been focusing on myself.)

How you are showing up in your life?

How we each show up is the single factor that will most impact the outcomes we’ll look back on at the end of the year.

At a wonderful retreat I attended at the start of the year, I spent three days in deep, quiet reflection about the year past, and setting clear intentions for the year ahead.

This was remarkably special because I would not have carved out the time to do this on my own — nor would I have thought to structure the process as beautifully as my dear friend and mentor Peleg Top designed the experience.

Here are the two questions that kept coming to mind for me, as I moved through those days:

How I have been showing up in my life?

How do I want to show up this year?

These are big and important questions, and I invite you to consider them for yourself.

I also asked myself:

If I choose to show up with more courage, determined to reach new heights, how big do I dare to dream?

And, I added:

What will it take for me to dream big?

This brought me to considering two more questions:

How much can I trust — myself and the universe?

How much support is available, and from whom — to keep my mindset strong, to tend to my health, to take care of the many small tasks that keep me busy but rob me of time to do what only I can do, and more?

I invite you to do some big dreaming and big thinking

Having considered some of the questions I posed above, continue to reflect and explore.

You may want to take a fresh look at the goals you’ve set or the resolutions you have made.

Have you aimed low, or put a cap on how much you dared to go for?

What would it look like to end the year thrilled with something you made real by dreaming even a little bigger than you dared to up to now?

Next, think about who you want and need to BE to step up and live your biggest life.

Will you aim to be bolder? More confident? Clearer about what is right for you to enable you to stay aligned with your values?

With this clarity you can focus on becoming the person who can live her dreams.

Each of our big dreams will be different

For some, it will look like setting good boundaries and honoring themselves by making time for quiet, pursuing a long-dormant passion, or repairing a relationship.

For some it will mean striking out in a bold new direction, or making a change they long for in their career.

For some it will look like vitality of body and mind.

The possibilities are vast.

My dream is to show up as I never have before

I intend to speak on bigger stages to spread the messages I am passionate about, and work with more great women to help them step into their power, so people everywhere create their biggest lives.

My dream is to show up in my studio and paint boldly, so I feel free and fully expressed.

My dream includes completing a project that is in its earliest stages now, that will provide a tangible way for people to learn to live big and create as never before. I do not know the final form for this yet, but I know it is becoming what it’s meant to be, and I am excited about developing it.

And my dream includes a world that is healed by legions of people living their biggest dreams, each in their own important way. By playing even a small part to make that happen, I will be thrilled.

Are you ready to dream bigger?

If something inside of you knows this is the time to step into more of your power, to make your important dreams a reality, let’s get on a call.

Email me and we’ll make a date to talk about your big dreams, what is limiting you now, and what is possible.

These calls are one way I support great women to live big — whether they choose to join one of my programs or not. (There's no obligation or cost for us to have a call, but I limit the number of calls I schedule each week.)

My dream is for you to truly Live Big! I look forward our conversation.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

We can each help make this dream a reality

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a famous dream. A dream he declared with passion. A dream he was deeply committed to bringing into reality. A dream that was both for him and for the world.

His dream envisioned a country where love and opportunity for all people would allow each and every person to bring their gifts and their light into the world.

Can you imagine that world?

Can you imagine a world where each of us lives with love — for ourselves and for each other — as a driving force each day?

Imagine the possibilities.

Imagine what the world would look like if each of us embraced our true genius each day, bringing our imagination, our ideas, and our unique talents forth without hesitation.

Imagine having all of what you share and others share truly honored.

Imagine seeing each of our contributions inspiring others, then combined and built upon so that collectively we create new and exciting possibilities for anything and everything that we choose to make our focus.

I find that vision to be awe-inspiring.

I have glimpsed it in real life, and I yearn to see more and more of it.

My invitation to you

I invite you to sit and imagine what your life would look like, and how the world around you would change for the better, if you showed up fully each day.

I invite you to imagine being fully clear about what you value and what you care deeply about, and living your life with clarity and commitment, fueled by love.

Not only will your life change, you will change the world.

It starts with each of us saying, “Yes!” to courageously living our lives that way.

Will you say “Yes!”?

Sadly, all these years later Dr. King’s dream is still a work-in-progress. There is much work left to do. We cannot wait for, or expect, others to do it.

It will take all of us doing our part, each day, in small consistent ways, to realize the changes he dreamed of, and so many of us long for.

I invite you to join me and countless others who have chosen to be a part of bringing this momentous change into the world.

As we all do our part — as we truly Live Big — we can heal the world.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

What I learned may help you focus, too

It amazes me that we are already 11 days into January and the new year.

For many of us, time seems to be speeding along, as we move through days filled with tasks and obligations, adventures and challenges.

What if you could slow down time, to feel more focused and less frantic?

I just had that experience. I am eager to share what it was like, as well as how I intend to continue pacing my days.

Following time away for the holidays with my family, I decided to extend the trip when an invitation arrived to attend a small retreat focused on starting this new year with clarity and intention. It was offered by my long-time coach and mentor, Peleg Top, and it was an easy, “Yes!”

What a gift it was to be led through a deep, thoughtful process of reflection and intention-setting in the awesome setting of the high desert of New Mexico.

Here are three gifts I am bringing back and happy to share with you.

1. Choose to slow down.

If you read my post last week about optimizing 2022 you will recall I spoke about getting clarity about the year you want to create, setting specific intentions, and scheduling specific actions to make those intentions your reality.

Whether you have started the process yet or not, my invitation to you is to consider the pace at which you plan to incorporate your intentions — and the pace of the days you have scheduled for yourself.

I have already started to make the shift to days with more “white space” on my calendar. And I have blocked off every Friday this year to provide flexibility for myself (no client sessions, no meetings), as I did in the last half of 2021. The feeling of release I got when I blocked off my Fridays for the year was palpable!

Maybe you will carve out time for a morning practice each day. Maybe you will block time mid-day for a long walk. Any approach you choose will benefit you.

When you slow down, create space for rest and thoughtfulness, and live with true intention, you can create in each moment rather than react. This is a game-changer!

You may be thinking, “Wait, this is what you teach!” But it is in the actual practice of living this way (establishing habits that stick takes ongoing practice!) that I find delight in the benefits.

I predict that when you make it your practice, you, like me, will get more of what matters done. And you will feel more satisfied.

2. Dive deeper into your heart.

Now that you have more space in your schedule, choose a block of time, perhaps an hour, to sit in a cozy spot with a journal, your favorite pen in hand, and a cup of hot tea. Ask yourself some questions about your desires for this big shiny new year.

Choose from as many of these as you feel called to explore.

• This year I will be most energized by/when…

• This year I will say “yes” when…

• This year I will say “no”/set boundaries when…

• This year I will explore…

• This year I will express myself when I…

• This year will be special because…

Write lots of things for each that you choose to complete. Feel free to add to this list of prompts, too, as new thoughts for shaping your year come to mind.

And you may want to close out this special time by expressing your deepest desire for 2022.

3. Create your environment with intention.

My trip was a great reminder that the environment around us has a great impact on our daily experiences.

And you do not need to travel to faraway places to create an environment that makes you feel relaxed, special and inspired.

I started my work day this morning by lighting a candle and adding some essential oils to a defuser, to make sitting at my desk feel lovely.

Look for ways to add beauty, like bringing in a splash of color you love, or fresh flowers, or found objects you picked up on a recent walk. Think about all sorts of ways to wake up your senses, for instance choose music to soothe you or to add tempo to a particular task.

And if there’s some clutter you can clear for a few minutes each day until it is resolved, you will find that your energy will flow with more ease.

We can each make 2022 a special year.

No matter what is going on around us, we can each create clear intentions for ourselves, create the best environment to support our wellbeing, and cultivate our mindset to shape the year ahead.

And stay tuned for a series of emails about my upcoming Dream Big Vision-Board Workshop, on January 30, to help you create a clear vision — and live it — for a stellar 2022!

You can check out the workshop here. Registration is open now!

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Here’s how to make this a great year (really!)

Welcome 2022!

As we step into a shiny new year, most people I speak to are glad to bid farewell to 2021. Even for those who had a good year, the reality of living through a second year of COVID, not to mention political issues that swirled, affected us all.

And while a new year always feels full of possibility, we now find ourselves in the midst of a new round of pandemic challenge. With it comes uncertainty.

I believe that this first week of the year is an opportune time to take action that can make this the best year possible.

Take some quiet time now to reflect and set intentions. Doing that will help you to live your best life in the year ahead.

Three steps to optimize your 2022

1. Choose a word to guide your year.

Long-time readers will be familiar with my belief in the impact of choosing a word-of-the-year. Here’s the post where I describe the process, that includes a number of examples.

When you use this short, powerful process, you ask yourself important questions that help you focus on what really matters to you now, and the energy you want to bring into your life in 2022.

2. Think about what it will look like to live your word this year.

With your word selected, it’s time to set intentions that align with that word or theme.

If, for instance, Learning was your word, your intentions could include broadening your understanding of the world, stimulating your brain, and experiencing novelty.

If your word was Savor (as mine was a few years back), your intentions could be to slow down, to fully experience things each day, and cultivate appreciation.

Your word may call on you to be thoughtful, or courageous, or curious, or calm, or active — tune in to what fits for you.

When you set intentions, you focus on who you want to become. This awareness will also inspire you and support you to bring positive energy into everything you do.

3. Make it concrete.

Now it’s time to get specific about how you want to implement your intentions. Think about what will both satisfy you and will be doable.

If, for instance, you chose Self-Love to guide your year, one way you might live into that theme could be to up your self-care. This would be the time to decide on ways to actually do that.

You might choose to include walking 3 times per week, meditating for 5 minutes each morning, and visiting a museum each month. Whatever you choose, schedule the activities into your calendar. Start with the first 3 months of the year, and continue or modify the plan from there. (For instance, in the spring you might decide to increase your meditation time, or add an activity like tending a garden.)

If your theme of Self-Love also inspired you to bring more creativity into your life, you might implement that intention by first exploring classes that are available (art, or music, or photography, or cooking, etc.), then scheduling time each week to take the class and practice between classes.

The outcomes may amaze you

When we set intentions and commit to them, we are able to bring changes we truly desire into our lives.

After choosing your word, why not print it out and post it where you will see it each day? This will keep it top of mind as you move though the year.

You might invite a friend to embark on this process with you, too, so that you can support one another to stay committed throughout the year, even as the specific ways you live into your themes evolve.

The more you stay connected to your word and intentions, and plans to follow through on the specifics, the more the outcomes will excite you.

Imagine looking back next December and smiling at the year you lived and the ways you made your intentions a reality.

No matter what surprises come along (because surprises are inevitable), this approach will support you to make 2022 a meaningful — and maybe even magical — year.

May your new year be filled with joy, vibrant health and abundant creative energy.

A life-changing gift you can give yourself now

As we move through the final days of 2021 we have a great opportunity — to look back and reap the rewards of the past year (try the process I shared last week), and to look ahead to a new year full of possibility.

Harness the power of creativity in 2022 — it’s available to all of us!

I invite you to embrace yourself as a powerful creator as you head into the new year. It’s easy to do when you focus on activating creative expression.

You can create expressively in a multitude of ways

Any way you choose to create will enrich your day-to-day life. Think about what delights you.

Maybe you love to dance up a storm, or draw or write. You may feel free and enjoy experimenting as you cook, playing with new flavor combinations or ingredients. Maybe you love to research and plan your garden, and get your hands into the dirt as you plant and tend it. Do you play an instrument or want to try learning a new one? Maybe you collect things that fascinate you, or find joy when you sing, or keep a camera on hand to take photos throughout your day. Maybe you love to tinker and build things, or learn new craft techniques.

Allowing yourself to play and explore in any of these ways lights you up and fuels enthusiasm for everything in your life.

When you are lit up, new ideas show up. You feel excited about exploring them. This positive energy not only carries you forward, it supports you at those times when you need to be resilient.

Your creative journey can be a great teacher

While I rarely share my personal creative journey, my studio time has been a great teacher for me, especially this past year.

I began painting in 2015 after a lifetime of feeling challenged to create for myself. As a graphic designer (my first career), I could create to solve my clients’ problems, but personal expression (like painting or sculpting) felt impossible.

Knowing what I know today, I look back and see that in those years I indulged in creative expression, though not in ways I thought “counted.” I loved (and still love) to create beauty in my home, sharing beauty with others, using color in interesting ways, and more.

But I did not dare to make art until 2015, when I took my first painting class. It was intimidating, but I had the opportunity and decided to go for it.

And it changed my life — really! I have continued to paint, studying with an amazing teacher, ever since.

As frustrating as it was to be a beginner, needing to master technique and decide what I wanted to paint, this journey has enriched me in enormous ways.

Each time I stand in front of my easel, I meet myself in a way that is different from the rest of my life. I tap into my intuition and I connect to my desire — what color calls to me? What kind of gesture or mark do I want to make?

Finding my way in the studio has been a great journey. I have had times when the work flowed and I was having fun. And I have had times — especially early in COVID, and after my mother died in August 2020 — when I felt completely lost and unsure about what I was doing.

With the encouragement of my teacher, I simply let myself not know, make a mess, and see where I found myself. Allowing myself to explore this way, without caring about making a “good painting” has led me to new places that have surprised me — and sometimes delighted me.

I have learned to trust myself and experiment. I have slowly been able to let go of the perfectionism that’s been a struggle for so much of my life. My heart has expanded in ways it never had before.

(If you are curious about my art, you can take a look at my work, from 2015 up to the present, here.)

What will you discover when you create?

The new year beckons. Think about the gifts you can give yourself in 2022 when you allow yourself to step into creating in new and bigger ways.

If getting creative is new for you, start by playing and see where it takes you. Ask someone to join you and make regular dates to create. And celebrate the outcomes of everything you explore!

And consider this:

Whether you choose to activate creativity or not, the new year will be full of change.

Why not light yourself up, feel inspired, and bring that positive energy into your life?

Wishing you a new year filled with joy, vibrant health and abundant creative energy.

Who doesn't want more good luck?

Do you believe in luck?

Do you have a lucky number (I do), or a lucky piece of clothing you put on when you yearn for a particular outcome? (I am thinking of the sweater my husband wore to every basketball game his college team played, after they beat a major opponent. He was sure it brought them luck.)

Do you envy people who seem to be lucky — they get a big break, or seem to effortlessly land a great job, or appear to lead a charmed life — and wonder if you can do something to increase your luck?

We all love feeling lucky

Luck makes things seem magical and easy. And it’s human nature to want good things to happen with ease.

In my case, a remarkable number of wonderful things in my life have happened on the 13th of a month — it's the date I met my husband, the date I graduated from high school and my son graduated from college, and the date my grandson was born. These are just three of a long list of special events that fell on the 13th of a month.

That feels magical to me. It makes me look forward to the 13th of each month, and to seeing the number 13 show up in my life in all sorts of great ways.

And, while I enjoy those mysterious and delightful coincidences, I believe feeling lucky is most often a byproduct of what we do and how we approach our lives and the world.

Many of the people we see as having great luck have set the stage for wonderful outcomes, that appear to simply be a matter of good fortune.

You can actually increase your luck. Here’s how.

Some of us are certainly born into more privilege than others, and I believe that such good fortune is not to be minimized. And, I also believe that all of us have opportunities to create more luck in our lives.

Consider these 10 ways to cultivate good luck:

1. Your mindset can set the stage for good fortune

A positive mindset looks like this:

• You believe in yourself and your agency in the world.

• You are in a frame of mind to say “yes” when great opportunities present themselves.

• You minimize worry. Being more positive helps you steer clear of having your attention consumed by negativity, and thus you are less likely to miss good opportunities.

• You keep an open frame of mind, which allows you to try new things and have new experiences.

• You have positive expectations. (What you look for is what you find!)

• You don’t compare yourself to others.

• (Check out more about how to be a positive thinker.)

2. Get clear

Focus on clarity — about what you want in your work and your personal life, your vision for the future, the impact you want to have, and more. Clarity allows you to stay sharply focused, and also helps you to be alert to opportunities.

3. Be observant

When you start with having an open frame of mind and are clear about what you want, add being alert and observant of everything around you. You are bound to spot more opportunities.

4. Take action

Being in action can look like this:

• Put yourself in great places, and tune in to what’s going on around you.

• Experiment with lots of approaches, try new things, and be open to what you discover. (If you tend to overanalyze, and can suppress the impulse to do so, it will be easier for you to experiment and reap the benefits.)

• Meet lots of people.

• Explore beyond your usual routines or areas of interest — you might even get curious about something you are sure you will not like. Try reading and learning about new things, as well as experiencing new things.

• Tell others what you want (after you have clarity), and people will be likely to share introductions and opportunities for you.

• Say “yes” to opportunities as they show up, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

5. Ask!

• Ask for what you want.

• Ask for support and help.

• Don’t be shy! For example, propose a topic to speak about in front of a great audience, rather than waiting for someone to approach you.

6. Stay grateful

Pay attention to all the good things that happen — even very small things — and express gratitude for them. Not only will you realize your are luckier than you may have thought, gratitude is a powerful force that can lead to more goodness in your life.

• Start a daily gratitude practice.

• Express gratitude to others.

• Check out this post on gratitude to learn more about this subject, or read the chapter on gratitude in my book for many ways to cultivate gratitude.

7. Be generous

Generosity is powerful. (You might check out this article I wrote on the subject, and how it helps you live big.)

• Look for ways to treat others as you want to be treated.

• Help other people — when they ask, or when you realize you can provide a good introduction or suggest a helpful resource.

• Be a good friend.

• Volunteer in ways that have meaning for you.

8. Surprise yourself

Intentionally surprise yourself!

• Create in new ways!

• Change up your routines.

• Get lost on purpose and see what you discover.

• Talk to new people.

All of these will light you up and connect you to your intuition, prompting new ways of thinking and positive energy. That energy can be channeled into many of the suggestions noted above.

9. Smile and be sociable

• Put a genuine smile on your face and people will be attracted to you.

• Put yourself into social settings. This will provide you with more interactions.

• Focus on maintaining good relationships.

• Cultivate a relaxed, positive attitude.

10. Pick one new practice to start using today

Bringing even one new approach on this list into your life will enhance your luck. Start with what calls out to you, and add more ideas and approaches as you wish.

Let’s usher in a luckier 2022

As we look ahead to the new year, your new awareness and the actions you choose to take will set the stage for more good luck and greater satisfaction in 2022.

Imagine if we all bring that energy into our lives! The power of all of that collective action can be remarkable.

And, if you are interested in having support to make significant changes more quickly and with greater ease, my Live Big Live! program may be perfect for you now. The Winter program is about to get underway, and there is still time to join us. (Only a few spots are still available.)

I invite you to set up a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon, to see if we both think this is a good fit. There’s no cost or obligation for us to talk. Here's the link to schedule time with me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What’s weighing you down?

For many of us, looking ahead at the last few weeks of 2021, brings up mixed emotions.

Some of us are already looking back and taking stock of the year. This can feel uplifting, or disappointing, or both.

Some are focused on making the most of the weeks ahead, aiming for a “strong finish” to the calendar year (in business and/or personally). This excites some people and feels intense to others.

Some are excited about celebrating in the upcoming holiday season, while others feel trepidation at the thought of being with particular people, or about travel in uncertain times, or what it will take to prepare for all of that.

I don’t know anyone who feels completely upbeat or completely down. Taking note is a first step to help you enjoy more positive energy.

What’s up for you?

The place to begin is to identify what feels heavy. If you take a few minutes to jot down what those things are, the clarity you’ll gain can help you lighten the emotional load.

Your list may include pressures at work, family discord, overwhelm at too much to do, tough decisions that are looming, tension about things out in the world, health concerns, financial matters, or anything else. It may be a long list, or your list may have one dominant feature.

Consider these possibilities

Seeing it in black and white, can you gain perspective about things that may not be all that problematic?

When we feel stressed, everything seems to expand in importance, but some things on your list are likely to be tasks you can quickly dispatch — or even delegate or drop. And some things can likely be deferred, to attend to after this busy season.

It’s likely that some things that feel overwhelming can be approached in a sequence of small efforts. This will make them feel less daunting, and the big project will be easier and more enjoyable to move through to completion.

Speaking of completion, ask yourself if your timelines and deadlines are realistic, or really required.

And some things on your list may feel heavy because of old scripts and stories you carry, such as feeling like you have to be perfect. Or you have to complete things to meet others’ high expectations. Or you “have to” [fill in the blank] — to make others happy at your own expense.

Maybe you have a “role” in your family that you feel obligated to play, but that frustrates you or feels unjust.

Maybe you feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but you can see that there are things on the list that others can help with.

Taking a look at what you can reasonably adjust — with practical changes and in your mental approach — is a great first step to easing the strain you felt as you wrote down the items on your list.

Let’s lighten up

I confess that the pressure I’ve put on myself to be “perfect” and meet the expectations of others have been long-held beliefs that are still works-in-progress for me to release. And being able to ask for help is a practice I have been focused on for a while now, but I continue to need to remind myself that it’s a great thing to do.

The feeling that I must work hard all the time has been a life-long belief that I am currently focused on shifting, and I’m happy to be making progress with it.

We all have deeply entrenched habits and beliefs that do not serve us. And we can all bring awareness to the changes we want to make.

The key is awareness — and from there, consciously making choices that serve us.

Try some or all of these approaches:

What if you trusted that there is an abundance of time to take care of things that really must be done?

Simply approaching the day with that frame of mind makes a huge difference in the energy you feel, and thus the energy you bring to your tasks. This has been a game-changer for me and many of my clients.

What if you let go of the need to do it all and do it all perfectly?

We tell ourselves stories about things we “must do” that often do not need to be done (or not done by us). A quick example is that holiday cookies to not all need to be home-baked — unless that brings you joy and your well-being is not compromised by the time it will take. But the same goes for items of all types on our to-do lists. What can you choose not to do?

And when we aim for perfection for the things we keep on the list, we struggle and sabotage ourselves in so many ways. If, instead we aim for “good” we can feel happier doing the task, and can also allow for happy surprises that may show up when we welcome imperfection. And if we fall short or “fail”? We can laugh, learn from the experience, and move on.

What if you let go of the heaviness?

Our perceptions can make small things feel intense and larger tasks feel even more daunting — or, our perceptions can make things feel doable with ease.

When you change your approach from feeling burdened to feeling that things can move smoothly and be easy or pleasurable, you change your experience. (You may want to check out what I recently shared about how to be a positive thinker.)

And to more easily achieve and sustain a sense of lightness, remember to acknowledge yourself for taking a positive approach. Also acknowledge yourself for all that you accomplish along the way. (Check out the power of giving yourself a “Yay Me” here — something my clients practice and love doing. )

Making gratitude a daily focus also supports us to live positively, which in turn increases joy. (Check out three ways to experience more joy.)

We all have the agency to make changes

The biggest pitfall is feeling helpless about things that add stress to our lives.

By bringing awareness to what is troubling you and taking steps to lower the intensity of stressful emotions and pressures, we can all open to approaching whatever lies ahead with more joy and ease.

Why not try one or more of the ideas suggested above this week and see what works for you? I’d be happy to hear about what you experience. Leave a comment, or email me to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.