Gratitude can be more complicated than you think

Thanksgiving is upon us, and messages about gratitude are everywhere.

If you’ve read my book, you know I devoted an entire chapter to gratitude. In my experience, bringing a focus to gratitude each day has powerfully supported me to live big, and I believe a regular gratitude practice can do that for everyone.

I could have stopped there, but I have continued to think and learn a lot about gratitude since I published my book.

I invite you to consider an aspect of gratitude, and a question, that I had not thought about until recently, when it was brought to my attention.

What are you grateful for?

It’s likely that you will think that answers to this questions are obvious.

When you ask most people, you often hear, “family” and “health” and things such as fresh food, safety, security, peace, and love.

All of these are wonderful. So are things like feeling gratitude for doing work you love, or for a friendship, or for a gift you received, or for an outcome in an election, or for good weather on a day you have to travel.

I am a big proponent of paying attention to small moments for which you feel grateful — such as the person who gave up a seat for you on a crowded bus, or a smile from a stranger that lifted your spirits, or spotting a surprising glimpse of beautiful color on a dreary day.

The thing I had not ever considered was the suggestion to feel grateful for everything — even things that did not go well, or were hard, or are currently difficult.

Can you bless it all?

You may be thinking, “What a crazy concept!” You might also ask the question, “Why would I want to feel grateful for things I did not want to happen, or do not like?”

I get it. It’s taken me some time to process this idea.

And, I also know that there have been events in my life that, while far from desirable, and some that were absolutely painful (things I would not wish on anyone) that have taught me something meaningful.

Things like that have made me stronger.

Things like that have provided insights and lessons that have made me the particular person I am today, and I truly appreciate them.

That is why the suggestion is to bless it all, to bless all of the harvest.

Bless the lovely fruit and bless the fruit that has been rotten.

Even when you do not yet know the ways you can feel grateful for the pain or disappointment or loss, history shows us that in time, it will all contribute to growth. It is all here, and all happening, for us.

Thus we can bless it.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday

May your Thanksgiving be filled with love and joy — and with gratitude for everything in your life.

Don’t miss out on the subtle gifts of the season

There is no doubt that living through the pandemic for over 2 years has changed us. Even those fortunate enough to have remained healthy and working productively are realizing ways that they have been impacted.

Researchers are now sharing more insights about sleep interruption; mental health problems caused by isolation, grief and worry; stress associated with everything from economic changes to parenting children of every age; and physical challenges that include unusually early starts of menstruation, weight gain, lack of exercise, and the damage the body suffers from sitting for hours on end.

I am grateful that spring (which is just becoming evident here in New England) is here — on the calendar and in front of our eyes. With this new season we can approach our lives in many ways that will support our physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.

Spring offers many gifts

Most of us think about spring as a time of warmer temperatures, blooming flowers and trees, and the delight of being outdoors with ease.

And I am grateful for all of that!

There is also a deeper layer of opportunity and insight we can explore. We are more closely connected to the rhythms and energy of nature than many of us realize. There is an intelligence in nature we can tap into now.

We just lived through the season of winter and receptivity.

Nature inspired us to be more quiet and reflective, connecting to deep inner knowing. It was a time to dream and feel inspired to create visions for what we want.

Spring shifts us into the season of embodiment — and this is a time to focus on being.

We can focus on becoming the person who will activate the insights and visions of winter — and become energized to plant the seeds for all that we dreamed of creating.

When we are fully embodied, awakened and inspired, we can plant the seeds with care and tend to the seeds. Even when challenges appear (which is inevitable), we can keep our energy strong, stay focused, and bring loving devotion to the effort of nurturing what we aim to create.

How to embrace the energy of the season

When I embark on anything new — and I have a lot of new things I am planting seeds for now — I first aim to feel as inspired as possible. One thing that always opens my heart is seeing great art.

This weekend I went to the Museum of Fine Arts (for only the second time since the start of the pandemic). I chose to spend most of my time in galleries that were not crowded, and the gift was that I found incredible treasures. They provided wonderful inspiration.

A brisk walk near the museum offered a great wake-up for many muscle groups in my stiff body. And spotting early signs of color and plant growth lifted my spirits to even great heights.

While it was not on my plan for the day, when I got home I felt a huge desire to paint! I turned on my favorite music and three hours of creating flew by. New ideas came pouring in, too.

This positioned me to start the week filled with energy, brimming with big ideas, and feeling physically vibrant.

How will you make the most of the season?

Each day we have the opportunity to renew and bolster our energy, to support vibrant physical wellbeing and a strong spirit.

As you focus on who you are becoming in this season of growth, think about what seeds you feel called to plant now.

And think about how will you keep your energy strong, to tend to them over time.

Spend a few minutes focusing on what lights you up, opens your heart, inspires you. What opportunities are accessible to you, to excite you now?

Maybe you will pass on a museum visit and hop on your bike, or plan a social event with special friends in a gorgeous place, or try a new kind of yoga, or play an instrument, or start a dance party, or explore a scenic town.

I would love to hear what you choose, and what happens when you activate your energy to make the most of this glorious season. Leave a comment, or email me.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

Who doesn't want more good luck?

Do you believe in luck?

Do you have a lucky number (I do), or a lucky piece of clothing you put on when you yearn for a particular outcome? (I am thinking of the sweater my husband wore to every basketball game his college team played, after they beat a major opponent. He was sure it brought them luck.)

Do you envy people who seem to be lucky — they get a big break, or seem to effortlessly land a great job, or appear to lead a charmed life — and wonder if you can do something to increase your luck?

We all love feeling lucky

Luck makes things seem magical and easy. And it’s human nature to want good things to happen with ease.

In my case, a remarkable number of wonderful things in my life have happened on the 13th of a month — it's the date I met my husband, the date I graduated from high school and my son graduated from college, and the date my grandson was born. These are just three of a long list of special events that fell on the 13th of a month.

That feels magical to me. It makes me look forward to the 13th of each month, and to seeing the number 13 show up in my life in all sorts of great ways.

And, while I enjoy those mysterious and delightful coincidences, I believe feeling lucky is most often a byproduct of what we do and how we approach our lives and the world.

Many of the people we see as having great luck have set the stage for wonderful outcomes, that appear to simply be a matter of good fortune.

You can actually increase your luck. Here’s how.

Some of us are certainly born into more privilege than others, and I believe that such good fortune is not to be minimized. And, I also believe that all of us have opportunities to create more luck in our lives.

Consider these 10 ways to cultivate good luck:

1. Your mindset can set the stage for good fortune

A positive mindset looks like this:

• You believe in yourself and your agency in the world.

• You are in a frame of mind to say “yes” when great opportunities present themselves.

• You minimize worry. Being more positive helps you steer clear of having your attention consumed by negativity, and thus you are less likely to miss good opportunities.

• You keep an open frame of mind, which allows you to try new things and have new experiences.

• You have positive expectations. (What you look for is what you find!)

• You don’t compare yourself to others.

• (Check out more about how to be a positive thinker.)

2. Get clear

Focus on clarity — about what you want in your work and your personal life, your vision for the future, the impact you want to have, and more. Clarity allows you to stay sharply focused, and also helps you to be alert to opportunities.

3. Be observant

When you start with having an open frame of mind and are clear about what you want, add being alert and observant of everything around you. You are bound to spot more opportunities.

4. Take action

Being in action can look like this:

• Put yourself in great places, and tune in to what’s going on around you.

• Experiment with lots of approaches, try new things, and be open to what you discover. (If you tend to overanalyze, and can suppress the impulse to do so, it will be easier for you to experiment and reap the benefits.)

• Meet lots of people.

• Explore beyond your usual routines or areas of interest — you might even get curious about something you are sure you will not like. Try reading and learning about new things, as well as experiencing new things.

• Tell others what you want (after you have clarity), and people will be likely to share introductions and opportunities for you.

• Say “yes” to opportunities as they show up, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

5. Ask!

• Ask for what you want.

• Ask for support and help.

• Don’t be shy! For example, propose a topic to speak about in front of a great audience, rather than waiting for someone to approach you.

6. Stay grateful

Pay attention to all the good things that happen — even very small things — and express gratitude for them. Not only will you realize your are luckier than you may have thought, gratitude is a powerful force that can lead to more goodness in your life.

• Start a daily gratitude practice.

• Express gratitude to others.

• Check out this post on gratitude to learn more about this subject, or read the chapter on gratitude in my book for many ways to cultivate gratitude.

7. Be generous

Generosity is powerful. (You might check out this article I wrote on the subject, and how it helps you live big.)

• Look for ways to treat others as you want to be treated.

• Help other people — when they ask, or when you realize you can provide a good introduction or suggest a helpful resource.

• Be a good friend.

• Volunteer in ways that have meaning for you.

8. Surprise yourself

Intentionally surprise yourself!

• Create in new ways!

• Change up your routines.

• Get lost on purpose and see what you discover.

• Talk to new people.

All of these will light you up and connect you to your intuition, prompting new ways of thinking and positive energy. That energy can be channeled into many of the suggestions noted above.

9. Smile and be sociable

• Put a genuine smile on your face and people will be attracted to you.

• Put yourself into social settings. This will provide you with more interactions.

• Focus on maintaining good relationships.

• Cultivate a relaxed, positive attitude.

10. Pick one new practice to start using today

Bringing even one new approach on this list into your life will enhance your luck. Start with what calls out to you, and add more ideas and approaches as you wish.

Let’s usher in a luckier 2022

As we look ahead to the new year, your new awareness and the actions you choose to take will set the stage for more good luck and greater satisfaction in 2022.

Imagine if we all bring that energy into our lives! The power of all of that collective action can be remarkable.

And, if you are interested in having support to make significant changes more quickly and with greater ease, my Live Big Live! program may be perfect for you now. The Winter program is about to get underway, and there is still time to join us. (Only a few spots are still available.)

I invite you to set up a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon, to see if we both think this is a good fit. There’s no cost or obligation for us to talk. Here's the link to schedule time with me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Most of us miss some of the gifts of gratitude

I hope you enjoyed a special day of thanks last week (even if you are not in the US, where we celebrated Thanksgiving Day).

Many of us gathered with friends and family and were especially thankful to be able to be physically together, rather than on zoom. We enjoyed lovely food and expressed thanks for pleasures we often take for granted in the midst of our busy days.

The opportunity we have now, with a new week underway, is to hold onto our focus on gratitude — and expand it.

Gratitude go-to’s

It is obvious to bring our attention to feeing grateful for all that is good — from people we love, to food, shelter and kindness.

Focusing that way on a regular basis — creating a gratitude practice that keeps you tapped in to all that is wonderful in your life — brings tremendous benefits.

(I wrote about the big benefits of gratitude a few years back, that you may want to check out. There is also a chapter on gratitude that begins on page 50 of my book.)

Many of us have a daily gratitude practice, and tune in to smaller moments to appreciate, too. This level of awareness — of a smile from a stranger, the offer of help to carry a heavy package, spotting something surprisingly beautiful in nature, or receiving a thoughtful inquiry about how things are going — makes the benefits of gratitude on our wellbeing even greater.

Now, let’s take the concept of gratitude even deeper.

Often overlooked opportunities for gratitude

What few of us consider is that we can be grateful for things that do not typically spring to mind when we think about counting our blessings.

In this season of “blessing the harvest,” we can expand our perspective to consider all that we are harvesting now.

As the year winds down and we take stock, we can certainly bless our accomplishments, good fortune and bounty. We can also bless our challenges, disappointments, failures and losses.

Why?

Because when we can bless it all, we see how everything we have experienced this year brought us to who we are today. We can appreciate the insights we gained and lessons we learned.

We realize that ultimately, all of it enriched us.

This is the perfect time to bless it all

When we feel grateful for all of what we have experienced, we boost the well-documented benefits of gratitude (that are listed in my book). We let go of regret and stop rehashing the past.

The positive energy we feel can be channelled toward new ways of creating.

This not only helps us now, it supports us to move into 2022 with more optimism and enthusiasm. We feel motivated to start creating, planting new seeds, and taking action boosted by that powerful energy.

A question to ask now

As we head into the last 31 days of 2021 and look beyond to the coming year, ask yourself this question:

How can I bring all of my creative energy to my life — to the work I do, to my relationships, and to living my purpose?

We can all make the last weeks of this year incredibly meaningful and look ahead in anticipation to all that we will embark on in the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.