The truth about forgiveness

Who among us hasn’t dealt with the issues of resentment and forgiveness?

When our feelings are hurt, it stings.

And when we experience more serious situations — where we feel deeply hurt or wronged — pain, resentment and anger are among the emotions that can grip us.

We can be upset about something that feels unjust that has happened to us.

We can be upset on behalf of someone about whom we care deeply.

We can even be upset on behalf of people we do not know, but for whom we feel tremendous empathy — such as a class of mistreated people, or those who are victims of cruelty.

How to cope with the pressure of resentment

Resentment brings on emotions that feel justified. If we keep them pent up, it often feels like tension is building inside, and that is an awful sensation.

But it does not have to be that way for long.

Allow yourself to feel all the emotion.

It’s important to acknowledge what you are feeling, and feel it all, without fear of the strong emotion. You can feel safe to feel it all if you don’t sit endlessly in the emotion and allow it to smolder or grow.

Here’s how to keep that from happening:

Give the emotion you feel an outlet.

You might journal about the anger or pain or bitterness you feel, or stomp it out on a walk in the woods.

Maybe you'll make a hideous picture of the anger, to wring the emotion out of your system.

Maybe you will turn up harsh music and dance out what is burdening you, until you feel spent.

Find what works for you, and know that any of these approaches will help free you of the emotional load of those heavy feelings.

Now you can consider forgiveness

Forgiving someone used to feel nearly impossible for me. It was not a problem for small slights or hurts, but when someone behaved in a way that had a deep negative impact for me, I was unable to imagine being able to forgive them.

This was modeled for me growing up. There were stories in my family about people who held onto grievances for years. And I witnessed some examples of that myself.

I wanted that division and bitterness to end, rather than continue to be a family trait. And yet, I personally struggled to be able to forgive. I could not forget what felt so painful, so how could I forgive?

At that time, I did not have tools or insights to help me, as I do now. Pain and resentment and bitterness lingered and festered, before I learned the ways to release the negative energy that I described above.

And then I learned more about forgiveness.

I learned that when when I felt unable to forgive, I was primarily hurting myself. That was a huge insight for me.

And when a wise person told me it was not necessary to forget in order to be able to forgive — and that I did need to excuse the person for the matter that hurt so much — the doors to healing opened for me.

I made the choice to forgive.

I realized that the prolonged suffering — that I felt, and that the other party apparently felt — was doing nothing to rectify the issue that set the chain of pain in motion.

I did not ask for or feel the need for an apology, or any acknowledgement.

I simply moved forward with love. I said I was putting the past behind me and asked if the other party wanted to move forward that way.

I am so glad the answer was yes. And I continue to be deeply grateful that I learned this lesson when I did.

We can all step into the light

I wish I could say that I’ve never needed to forgive since that day. That is hardly the case.

I find myself faced with matters from time to time that call on me to feel and release pain and hurt, and then forgive.

Sometimes I address the matter directly, as happened years back. Sometimes I make a private decision to forgive and move forward.

In both situations, I make the choice to live with love as my guiding force — for myself and the party I forgive.

I envision myself standing in the light of that love, at the highest energetic vibration I can feel. That energy keeps me moving forward, free from the weight of pain or resentment.

I believe that in time (and sometimes it takes more time than others), the love and the light I feel will be felt by the person I send it to.

So far, the evidence has been clear, and I trust that as I continue to forgive with love, I will see the same outcomes.

Are you ready to give yourself this gift?

If you are holding any bitterness in your heart, I invite you to explore the practice of letting yourself feel it with awareness, and then experiment with ways to release the emotion, to give yourself a sense of palpable relief.

You may need to do this more than once to feel better. That’s fine! You will know when you feel ready to consider the next step, forgiveness.

To begin to forgive, you might simply send loving thoughts toward the person you have been upset with.

You might suggest a conversation to declare that you want to move ahead with a fresh start, and ask if they want that as well.

If that feels like too big a step to take, you might send an email and not mention anything about the old issue. You can simply suggest spending time together doing something pleasant, and see if they want to join you. Even if it takes time, you can continue to make invitations like that.

In time, you may get a “Yes.”

And until that time, you will feel lighter, and free from the burden of resentment.

That is a fabulous gift.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Love doesn’t have to be complicated

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Maybe you (like me) are feeling tired of the way the focus on love feels commercialized, manipulative and superficial in our culture.

Perhaps you are cynical about love, or feel it is missing or lacking in your life, or you doubt its importance.

Perhaps you crave more love, in any of the ways it can touch your heart.

What if you simply let yourself feel love?

We spend so much time living in our heads.

It’s when we choose not to think so much and drop into our hearts and our bodies, that we have the opportunity to get to the pure essence of love, and experience it in ways that fill us with delight.

Try this simple practice and see what happens:

Spend 3 minutes of quiet and connect to your heart.

You might set a timer, or just choose to sit in stillness for a little while.

Cross your hands over your heart. As you breathe, feel into the energy of your heart.

Pay attention to the sensations you feel.

Ask what your heart desires.

Listen closely.

Even if you hear only whispers, the information and insights are important to honor. And if you feel an absence of insight, try sitting a bit longer. Or try again later or tomorrow.

Next — no matter what you found — actively appreciate yourself. Send love to you, for being with yourself this way, and for being the amazing person you are.

Savor the sweetness of this experience.

This process is a way you can experience and cultivate self-love. Even if it feels subtle, it can be more powerful than you may imagine.

And the more you make this practice a part of your life, the bigger the benefits will be.

Consider expanding your self-love practice.

Gaze at yourself in the mirror each morning and smile warmly at you!

Focus on treating yourself to experiences that delight you. You deserve them.

Maybe a brisk walk each morning makes you feel alive and excited for your day. Make that a priority!

Maybe preparing clean healthy foods makes you feel great. Plan your day so there is ample time for that preparation, as well as savoring the food you cook.

Maybe adding a new color to your environment will lift your spirits each day. How can you bring in a splash of that color, perhaps with a throw pillow, or by painting an accent wall in a space you use a lot? Maybe you will choose to wear that color more.

Maybe visiting galleries or museums lights you up, or music stirs your heart. Make inspiration dates to bring joy like that into your life.

You will effortlessly begin to spread more love.

When we are filled with love for ourselves we can spread love to others with ease and joy. We naturally feel more affection and connection to everyone around us.

The expression of this loving energy can show up as smiling more at people (even strangers), expressing appreciation, and engaging in small acts of kindness.

And, at times when you might have typically felt annoyed or frustrated or angry with someone (friends or strangers), you may instead find yourself able to send them loving thoughts, or wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt.

When you spread loving energy — even wordlessly — you support your own wellbeing, and often shift the energy in the person or people around you in ways you cannot perceive.

The power of love can change your life.

Last week I was honored to lead a remarkable group of women for three days of deep work, infused by love, at my winter Live Big Live! retreat.

We began the journey 45 days before the retreat. We came together and dove deep into shaping visions for the future that were rooted in knowing that comes from a deep connection to the heart.

Love was the foundation for everything we did. Love infused each experience included in the program, that culminated in so many big outcomes.

Each woman connected to ways to cultivate self-love that had deep meaning for her. They each unabashedly honored themselves and their gifts, and claimed the desires in their hearts. They were able to step into honoring those desires, and begin to take concrete steps to make them their reality.

Shifts like this cannot happen in an instant. Practice is needed, and over the weeks and at the retreat, we practiced together.

With a foundation of self-love, each of the women naturally supported the others with tremendous love. The energetic connections were palpable and powerful.

Even without deep immersion and guidance, you can bring the power of love into your life in bigger ways than ever.

I invite you to start with the practice described above, and expand it as you feel inspired.

You will reap beautiful rewards.

If you wish to share your experience, or have questions, I would be happy to hear from you.

Email me to let me know how this resonates for you.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

These 3 questions may wake up your heart

Last week I had the privilege of spending four inspiring days doing deep personal work. I shared the experience with an amazing group of people, led by my remarkable coach, Michelle Villalobos.

Michelle is a business coach. I initially wanted her help to build my coaching practice, and she has certainly helped me do that. But the reason I continue to work with her is that she is on a path of doing her own deep work. She is focused on being — on who she is and how she shows up in her life — and she is a fearless explorer of this territory. She brings what she is learning into the lives of her clients.

If you have read my book, you know how aligned Michelle and I are about the importance of focusing on who we are becoming and how we show up in the world. We both believe that this is the key to being a leader in your life, which then makes it easier to build a great business — or do anything else you set out to do.

To impact the world with your gifts you need to start with the inside work.

What I dove into last week

The theme of our retreat was big: creating the new. As you can imagine, this was immensely meaningful for me. We explored how we create, what each person’s ideas are for the new they want to create, and what it will take, personally, for each of us to audaciously create in ways that will have a tremendous impact.

This was intense work, but there was also play!

I loved experiencing an afternoon of freedom, fun and laughter as I allowed myself to create with crazy materials, fueled by great music. I let go of concern about making something “good” and drew from my intuition without overthinking. It was liberating and I loved my imperfect finished piece.

And I loved watching people, some of whom had not made art since they were kids, and many who declared they did not consider themselves creative, allowing themselves to relax, play freely, and make amazing works. I witnessed joy as they shared, many claiming that they loved what they made and loved their new beliefs about themselves.

Why community is important

Magic happens when people gather this way. We learn from one another and inspire one another. The time away from “real life” gives us so much to bring back and apply to the work we do. And it supports us to each live with more awareness and intention.

3 questions you can ask yourself now

As I integrate the powerful experience I lived, I am happy to share several questions I was asked to answer. Perhaps they will be helpful and enlightening for you.

1. What can you let go of now to open the way to living your biggest, most promising life?

You might chose to let go of doubt, or perfectionism, or fear, or an old story that does not serve you — or any other limitation you want to release.

2. What power, within you, do you want to claim?

You might want to claim courage, or conviction, or passion for a cause, to name a few possibilities.

3. What new quality or project or mission do you yearn to bring into being, that will make an impact on your own life, and by extension can impact the world around you?

This question may sound daunting to ponder, but I invite you to consider that every meaningful creation you aim for — be it small or grand — can be life-changing for you, and can have ripple effects that reach beyond what you can even imagine.

Do you feel called to step into something bigger?

My work, my mission, is to unleash the untapped creative capacity inside women (and men) everywhere, so they bring all of their greatness into the world.

I am committed to using the power of love as the driving force of my work, because I know love can inspire people to embrace their full capacity to create, express and expand.

This vision inspires me every day.

And as grand as that mission sounds (and I hold a huge vision for what it will look like in the future), the growth is rooted in many small first steps.

Over and over again, what appear to be small events fuel the expansion of my mission. It’s all about having one conversation at a time.

In each connection with a woman who hears a voice inside (that may be whispering or may be shouting) that she is ready to let go of what is in her way; that she wants to find, claim and leverage her power; and that she wants to usher in something new and important to create a brighter future, a connection is made. And there is a possibility that we may be aligned.

When there is alignment, when we both believe that my support can help a woman to stop living small and step into creating her biggest life, there is true magic. Nothing is more gratifying for me than to usher in greatness and set ripple effects into motion.

And when a group of great women embark on the work with me, the power of the community accelerates the growth of each individual!

Taking a small first step can be your portal to a big future

If you feel called to take a big step up in your life, let’s make a date to talk soon. Simply email me and we’ll make that happen.

There may be alignment, or not, but one things is certain: It will be a meaningful conversation that will have an impact in your life.

And that aligns perfectly for me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Do you dare to dream bigger?

We are well into the first month of 2022. I hear people everywhere talking about the goals they’ve set, or that they are considering for the year, and that’s great.

And, I suggest that there’s a bigger question that’s important to ask now. (It’s one I have been focusing on myself.)

How you are showing up in your life?

How we each show up is the single factor that will most impact the outcomes we’ll look back on at the end of the year.

At a wonderful retreat I attended at the start of the year, I spent three days in deep, quiet reflection about the year past, and setting clear intentions for the year ahead.

This was remarkably special because I would not have carved out the time to do this on my own — nor would I have thought to structure the process as beautifully as my dear friend and mentor Peleg Top designed the experience.

Here are the two questions that kept coming to mind for me, as I moved through those days:

How I have been showing up in my life?

How do I want to show up this year?

These are big and important questions, and I invite you to consider them for yourself.

I also asked myself:

If I choose to show up with more courage, determined to reach new heights, how big do I dare to dream?

And, I added:

What will it take for me to dream big?

This brought me to considering two more questions:

How much can I trust — myself and the universe?

How much support is available, and from whom — to keep my mindset strong, to tend to my health, to take care of the many small tasks that keep me busy but rob me of time to do what only I can do, and more?

I invite you to do some big dreaming and big thinking

Having considered some of the questions I posed above, continue to reflect and explore.

You may want to take a fresh look at the goals you’ve set or the resolutions you have made.

Have you aimed low, or put a cap on how much you dared to go for?

What would it look like to end the year thrilled with something you made real by dreaming even a little bigger than you dared to up to now?

Next, think about who you want and need to BE to step up and live your biggest life.

Will you aim to be bolder? More confident? Clearer about what is right for you to enable you to stay aligned with your values?

With this clarity you can focus on becoming the person who can live her dreams.

Each of our big dreams will be different

For some, it will look like setting good boundaries and honoring themselves by making time for quiet, pursuing a long-dormant passion, or repairing a relationship.

For some it will mean striking out in a bold new direction, or making a change they long for in their career.

For some it will look like vitality of body and mind.

The possibilities are vast.

My dream is to show up as I never have before

I intend to speak on bigger stages to spread the messages I am passionate about, and work with more great women to help them step into their power, so people everywhere create their biggest lives.

My dream is to show up in my studio and paint boldly, so I feel free and fully expressed.

My dream includes completing a project that is in its earliest stages now, that will provide a tangible way for people to learn to live big and create as never before. I do not know the final form for this yet, but I know it is becoming what it’s meant to be, and I am excited about developing it.

And my dream includes a world that is healed by legions of people living their biggest dreams, each in their own important way. By playing even a small part to make that happen, I will be thrilled.

Are you ready to dream bigger?

If something inside of you knows this is the time to step into more of your power, to make your important dreams a reality, let’s get on a call.

Email me and we’ll make a date to talk about your big dreams, what is limiting you now, and what is possible.

These calls are one way I support great women to live big — whether they choose to join one of my programs or not. (There's no obligation or cost for us to have a call, but I limit the number of calls I schedule each week.)

My dream is for you to truly Live Big! I look forward our conversation.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

We can each help make this dream a reality

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a famous dream. A dream he declared with passion. A dream he was deeply committed to bringing into reality. A dream that was both for him and for the world.

His dream envisioned a country where love and opportunity for all people would allow each and every person to bring their gifts and their light into the world.

Can you imagine that world?

Can you imagine a world where each of us lives with love — for ourselves and for each other — as a driving force each day?

Imagine the possibilities.

Imagine what the world would look like if each of us embraced our true genius each day, bringing our imagination, our ideas, and our unique talents forth without hesitation.

Imagine having all of what you share and others share truly honored.

Imagine seeing each of our contributions inspiring others, then combined and built upon so that collectively we create new and exciting possibilities for anything and everything that we choose to make our focus.

I find that vision to be awe-inspiring.

I have glimpsed it in real life, and I yearn to see more and more of it.

My invitation to you

I invite you to sit and imagine what your life would look like, and how the world around you would change for the better, if you showed up fully each day.

I invite you to imagine being fully clear about what you value and what you care deeply about, and living your life with clarity and commitment, fueled by love.

Not only will your life change, you will change the world.

It starts with each of us saying, “Yes!” to courageously living our lives that way.

Will you say “Yes!”?

Sadly, all these years later Dr. King’s dream is still a work-in-progress. There is much work left to do. We cannot wait for, or expect, others to do it.

It will take all of us doing our part, each day, in small consistent ways, to realize the changes he dreamed of, and so many of us long for.

I invite you to join me and countless others who have chosen to be a part of bringing this momentous change into the world.

As we all do our part — as we truly Live Big — we can heal the world.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Here’s how to make this a great year (really!)

Welcome 2022!

As we step into a shiny new year, most people I speak to are glad to bid farewell to 2021. Even for those who had a good year, the reality of living through a second year of COVID, not to mention political issues that swirled, affected us all.

And while a new year always feels full of possibility, we now find ourselves in the midst of a new round of pandemic challenge. With it comes uncertainty.

I believe that this first week of the year is an opportune time to take action that can make this the best year possible.

Take some quiet time now to reflect and set intentions. Doing that will help you to live your best life in the year ahead.

Three steps to optimize your 2022

1. Choose a word to guide your year.

Long-time readers will be familiar with my belief in the impact of choosing a word-of-the-year. Here’s the post where I describe the process, that includes a number of examples.

When you use this short, powerful process, you ask yourself important questions that help you focus on what really matters to you now, and the energy you want to bring into your life in 2022.

2. Think about what it will look like to live your word this year.

With your word selected, it’s time to set intentions that align with that word or theme.

If, for instance, Learning was your word, your intentions could include broadening your understanding of the world, stimulating your brain, and experiencing novelty.

If your word was Savor (as mine was a few years back), your intentions could be to slow down, to fully experience things each day, and cultivate appreciation.

Your word may call on you to be thoughtful, or courageous, or curious, or calm, or active — tune in to what fits for you.

When you set intentions, you focus on who you want to become. This awareness will also inspire you and support you to bring positive energy into everything you do.

3. Make it concrete.

Now it’s time to get specific about how you want to implement your intentions. Think about what will both satisfy you and will be doable.

If, for instance, you chose Self-Love to guide your year, one way you might live into that theme could be to up your self-care. This would be the time to decide on ways to actually do that.

You might choose to include walking 3 times per week, meditating for 5 minutes each morning, and visiting a museum each month. Whatever you choose, schedule the activities into your calendar. Start with the first 3 months of the year, and continue or modify the plan from there. (For instance, in the spring you might decide to increase your meditation time, or add an activity like tending a garden.)

If your theme of Self-Love also inspired you to bring more creativity into your life, you might implement that intention by first exploring classes that are available (art, or music, or photography, or cooking, etc.), then scheduling time each week to take the class and practice between classes.

The outcomes may amaze you

When we set intentions and commit to them, we are able to bring changes we truly desire into our lives.

After choosing your word, why not print it out and post it where you will see it each day? This will keep it top of mind as you move though the year.

You might invite a friend to embark on this process with you, too, so that you can support one another to stay committed throughout the year, even as the specific ways you live into your themes evolve.

The more you stay connected to your word and intentions, and plans to follow through on the specifics, the more the outcomes will excite you.

Imagine looking back next December and smiling at the year you lived and the ways you made your intentions a reality.

No matter what surprises come along (because surprises are inevitable), this approach will support you to make 2022 a meaningful — and maybe even magical — year.

May your new year be filled with joy, vibrant health and abundant creative energy.

How (and what) to celebrate now

Do you feel hectic energy swirling around you this holiday season? While it’s easy to get caught up in all of the activity and emotion, this is an ideal time to carve out some quiet space for yourself.

I invite you to do some resting and reflecting. And while you are at it, this is a great time to celebrate and dream.

Start with gratitude

Look back at the past year with a focus on gratitude. In spite of many challenges, there is always so much for which we can each feel grateful. Include both big and small things on your list, and jot down why you feel grateful for each one.

By the time you finish you are likely to feel filled with awe. (Studies have shown that focusing on gratitude brings enormous physical and emotional benefits. You may want to make this the start of an ongoing gratitude practice.)

Next, celebrate yourself!

Think back over the year with a focus on all the ways you have expanded and grown. Recall things you’ve accomplished and ways you have been resilient, Acknowledge yourself for all of it.

Savor the feelings of pride, joy, and satisfaction. Why not give yourself at least one “Yay me!” each and every day? (I highly recommend it!)

Visualize a wonderful future

With gratitude in your heart and feeling full of self-love after celebrating yourself, take some time to quietly look ahead at the new year. It is full of possibility.

Envision yourself a year from now, living a life that you love.

What does that look like for you? What does it feel like to imagine yourself living a life that excites you? Envision yourself living with purpose, doing work you love alongside great people, feeling joy, caring for your wellbeing, being in wonderful relationships, and living fully expressed.

How will spend your days? Who will you live and work and play with? How will you look? How will you feel?

Hold this vision, and think about it already being your reality.

The life you yearn for can be created

Day by day, you can create clarity about what you want. You can move past what limits you. You can create a future that lights you up.

I know because I have been on this path myself and my life has been transformed.

And I have been honored to guide many incredible women to step into their power and thrive as never before.

Rather than struggling and trying to figure it out on their own, they have begun creating the full, satisfying personal and professional lives they’d been yearning for. They are clear about what they want and who they need to become to create their ideal futures, and step-by-step their visions are becoming their reality.

This is a sacred process. Transformation does not happen instantly. It's in getting started, living with new awareness, and having support to sustain the effort in the course of daily ups and downs, that we can begin to wake up in our lives. We can get and stay clear about the future we want. Every small change we bring into our lives has significance and momentum grows. We revel in appreciation of the lives we are actively creating.

If you feel ready to make big strides in the year ahead, let’s talk.

Email me and share where you are now and your vision for the future, and we’ll talk about how you can get there.

As 2021 winds down, now is the perfect time to explore what is possible for you in 2022.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who doesn't want more good luck?

Do you believe in luck?

Do you have a lucky number (I do), or a lucky piece of clothing you put on when you yearn for a particular outcome? (I am thinking of the sweater my husband wore to every basketball game his college team played, after they beat a major opponent. He was sure it brought them luck.)

Do you envy people who seem to be lucky — they get a big break, or seem to effortlessly land a great job, or appear to lead a charmed life — and wonder if you can do something to increase your luck?

We all love feeling lucky

Luck makes things seem magical and easy. And it’s human nature to want good things to happen with ease.

In my case, a remarkable number of wonderful things in my life have happened on the 13th of a month — it's the date I met my husband, the date I graduated from high school and my son graduated from college, and the date my grandson was born. These are just three of a long list of special events that fell on the 13th of a month.

That feels magical to me. It makes me look forward to the 13th of each month, and to seeing the number 13 show up in my life in all sorts of great ways.

And, while I enjoy those mysterious and delightful coincidences, I believe feeling lucky is most often a byproduct of what we do and how we approach our lives and the world.

Many of the people we see as having great luck have set the stage for wonderful outcomes, that appear to simply be a matter of good fortune.

You can actually increase your luck. Here’s how.

Some of us are certainly born into more privilege than others, and I believe that such good fortune is not to be minimized. And, I also believe that all of us have opportunities to create more luck in our lives.

Consider these 10 ways to cultivate good luck:

1. Your mindset can set the stage for good fortune

A positive mindset looks like this:

• You believe in yourself and your agency in the world.

• You are in a frame of mind to say “yes” when great opportunities present themselves.

• You minimize worry. Being more positive helps you steer clear of having your attention consumed by negativity, and thus you are less likely to miss good opportunities.

• You keep an open frame of mind, which allows you to try new things and have new experiences.

• You have positive expectations. (What you look for is what you find!)

• You don’t compare yourself to others.

• (Check out more about how to be a positive thinker.)

2. Get clear

Focus on clarity — about what you want in your work and your personal life, your vision for the future, the impact you want to have, and more. Clarity allows you to stay sharply focused, and also helps you to be alert to opportunities.

3. Be observant

When you start with having an open frame of mind and are clear about what you want, add being alert and observant of everything around you. You are bound to spot more opportunities.

4. Take action

Being in action can look like this:

• Put yourself in great places, and tune in to what’s going on around you.

• Experiment with lots of approaches, try new things, and be open to what you discover. (If you tend to overanalyze, and can suppress the impulse to do so, it will be easier for you to experiment and reap the benefits.)

• Meet lots of people.

• Explore beyond your usual routines or areas of interest — you might even get curious about something you are sure you will not like. Try reading and learning about new things, as well as experiencing new things.

• Tell others what you want (after you have clarity), and people will be likely to share introductions and opportunities for you.

• Say “yes” to opportunities as they show up, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

5. Ask!

• Ask for what you want.

• Ask for support and help.

• Don’t be shy! For example, propose a topic to speak about in front of a great audience, rather than waiting for someone to approach you.

6. Stay grateful

Pay attention to all the good things that happen — even very small things — and express gratitude for them. Not only will you realize your are luckier than you may have thought, gratitude is a powerful force that can lead to more goodness in your life.

• Start a daily gratitude practice.

• Express gratitude to others.

• Check out this post on gratitude to learn more about this subject, or read the chapter on gratitude in my book for many ways to cultivate gratitude.

7. Be generous

Generosity is powerful. (You might check out this article I wrote on the subject, and how it helps you live big.)

• Look for ways to treat others as you want to be treated.

• Help other people — when they ask, or when you realize you can provide a good introduction or suggest a helpful resource.

• Be a good friend.

• Volunteer in ways that have meaning for you.

8. Surprise yourself

Intentionally surprise yourself!

• Create in new ways!

• Change up your routines.

• Get lost on purpose and see what you discover.

• Talk to new people.

All of these will light you up and connect you to your intuition, prompting new ways of thinking and positive energy. That energy can be channeled into many of the suggestions noted above.

9. Smile and be sociable

• Put a genuine smile on your face and people will be attracted to you.

• Put yourself into social settings. This will provide you with more interactions.

• Focus on maintaining good relationships.

• Cultivate a relaxed, positive attitude.

10. Pick one new practice to start using today

Bringing even one new approach on this list into your life will enhance your luck. Start with what calls out to you, and add more ideas and approaches as you wish.

Let’s usher in a luckier 2022

As we look ahead to the new year, your new awareness and the actions you choose to take will set the stage for more good luck and greater satisfaction in 2022.

Imagine if we all bring that energy into our lives! The power of all of that collective action can be remarkable.

And, if you are interested in having support to make significant changes more quickly and with greater ease, my Live Big Live! program may be perfect for you now. The Winter program is about to get underway, and there is still time to join us. (Only a few spots are still available.)

I invite you to set up a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon, to see if we both think this is a good fit. There’s no cost or obligation for us to talk. Here's the link to schedule time with me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What’s weighing you down?

For many of us, looking ahead at the last few weeks of 2021, brings up mixed emotions.

Some of us are already looking back and taking stock of the year. This can feel uplifting, or disappointing, or both.

Some are focused on making the most of the weeks ahead, aiming for a “strong finish” to the calendar year (in business and/or personally). This excites some people and feels intense to others.

Some are excited about celebrating in the upcoming holiday season, while others feel trepidation at the thought of being with particular people, or about travel in uncertain times, or what it will take to prepare for all of that.

I don’t know anyone who feels completely upbeat or completely down. Taking note is a first step to help you enjoy more positive energy.

What’s up for you?

The place to begin is to identify what feels heavy. If you take a few minutes to jot down what those things are, the clarity you’ll gain can help you lighten the emotional load.

Your list may include pressures at work, family discord, overwhelm at too much to do, tough decisions that are looming, tension about things out in the world, health concerns, financial matters, or anything else. It may be a long list, or your list may have one dominant feature.

Consider these possibilities

Seeing it in black and white, can you gain perspective about things that may not be all that problematic?

When we feel stressed, everything seems to expand in importance, but some things on your list are likely to be tasks you can quickly dispatch — or even delegate or drop. And some things can likely be deferred, to attend to after this busy season.

It’s likely that some things that feel overwhelming can be approached in a sequence of small efforts. This will make them feel less daunting, and the big project will be easier and more enjoyable to move through to completion.

Speaking of completion, ask yourself if your timelines and deadlines are realistic, or really required.

And some things on your list may feel heavy because of old scripts and stories you carry, such as feeling like you have to be perfect. Or you have to complete things to meet others’ high expectations. Or you “have to” [fill in the blank] — to make others happy at your own expense.

Maybe you have a “role” in your family that you feel obligated to play, but that frustrates you or feels unjust.

Maybe you feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but you can see that there are things on the list that others can help with.

Taking a look at what you can reasonably adjust — with practical changes and in your mental approach — is a great first step to easing the strain you felt as you wrote down the items on your list.

Let’s lighten up

I confess that the pressure I’ve put on myself to be “perfect” and meet the expectations of others have been long-held beliefs that are still works-in-progress for me to release. And being able to ask for help is a practice I have been focused on for a while now, but I continue to need to remind myself that it’s a great thing to do.

The feeling that I must work hard all the time has been a life-long belief that I am currently focused on shifting, and I’m happy to be making progress with it.

We all have deeply entrenched habits and beliefs that do not serve us. And we can all bring awareness to the changes we want to make.

The key is awareness — and from there, consciously making choices that serve us.

Try some or all of these approaches:

What if you trusted that there is an abundance of time to take care of things that really must be done?

Simply approaching the day with that frame of mind makes a huge difference in the energy you feel, and thus the energy you bring to your tasks. This has been a game-changer for me and many of my clients.

What if you let go of the need to do it all and do it all perfectly?

We tell ourselves stories about things we “must do” that often do not need to be done (or not done by us). A quick example is that holiday cookies to not all need to be home-baked — unless that brings you joy and your well-being is not compromised by the time it will take. But the same goes for items of all types on our to-do lists. What can you choose not to do?

And when we aim for perfection for the things we keep on the list, we struggle and sabotage ourselves in so many ways. If, instead we aim for “good” we can feel happier doing the task, and can also allow for happy surprises that may show up when we welcome imperfection. And if we fall short or “fail”? We can laugh, learn from the experience, and move on.

What if you let go of the heaviness?

Our perceptions can make small things feel intense and larger tasks feel even more daunting — or, our perceptions can make things feel doable with ease.

When you change your approach from feeling burdened to feeling that things can move smoothly and be easy or pleasurable, you change your experience. (You may want to check out what I recently shared about how to be a positive thinker.)

And to more easily achieve and sustain a sense of lightness, remember to acknowledge yourself for taking a positive approach. Also acknowledge yourself for all that you accomplish along the way. (Check out the power of giving yourself a “Yay Me” here — something my clients practice and love doing. )

Making gratitude a daily focus also supports us to live positively, which in turn increases joy. (Check out three ways to experience more joy.)

We all have the agency to make changes

The biggest pitfall is feeling helpless about things that add stress to our lives.

By bringing awareness to what is troubling you and taking steps to lower the intensity of stressful emotions and pressures, we can all open to approaching whatever lies ahead with more joy and ease.

Why not try one or more of the ideas suggested above this week and see what works for you? I’d be happy to hear about what you experience. Leave a comment, or email me to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Most of us miss some of the gifts of gratitude

I hope you enjoyed a special day of thanks last week (even if you are not in the US, where we celebrated Thanksgiving Day).

Many of us gathered with friends and family and were especially thankful to be able to be physically together, rather than on zoom. We enjoyed lovely food and expressed thanks for pleasures we often take for granted in the midst of our busy days.

The opportunity we have now, with a new week underway, is to hold onto our focus on gratitude — and expand it.

Gratitude go-to’s

It is obvious to bring our attention to feeing grateful for all that is good — from people we love, to food, shelter and kindness.

Focusing that way on a regular basis — creating a gratitude practice that keeps you tapped in to all that is wonderful in your life — brings tremendous benefits.

(I wrote about the big benefits of gratitude a few years back, that you may want to check out. There is also a chapter on gratitude that begins on page 50 of my book.)

Many of us have a daily gratitude practice, and tune in to smaller moments to appreciate, too. This level of awareness — of a smile from a stranger, the offer of help to carry a heavy package, spotting something surprisingly beautiful in nature, or receiving a thoughtful inquiry about how things are going — makes the benefits of gratitude on our wellbeing even greater.

Now, let’s take the concept of gratitude even deeper.

Often overlooked opportunities for gratitude

What few of us consider is that we can be grateful for things that do not typically spring to mind when we think about counting our blessings.

In this season of “blessing the harvest,” we can expand our perspective to consider all that we are harvesting now.

As the year winds down and we take stock, we can certainly bless our accomplishments, good fortune and bounty. We can also bless our challenges, disappointments, failures and losses.

Why?

Because when we can bless it all, we see how everything we have experienced this year brought us to who we are today. We can appreciate the insights we gained and lessons we learned.

We realize that ultimately, all of it enriched us.

This is the perfect time to bless it all

When we feel grateful for all of what we have experienced, we boost the well-documented benefits of gratitude (that are listed in my book). We let go of regret and stop rehashing the past.

The positive energy we feel can be channelled toward new ways of creating.

This not only helps us now, it supports us to move into 2022 with more optimism and enthusiasm. We feel motivated to start creating, planting new seeds, and taking action boosted by that powerful energy.

A question to ask now

As we head into the last 31 days of 2021 and look beyond to the coming year, ask yourself this question:

How can I bring all of my creative energy to my life — to the work I do, to my relationships, and to living my purpose?

We can all make the last weeks of this year incredibly meaningful and look ahead in anticipation to all that we will embark on in the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you take play seriously?

When was the last time you felt completely free? When was the last time you set out to play and have fun (not on a vacation, but in your usual day-to-day life)?

This may sound like a light-hearted, or even frivolous question, but I am serious when I ask.

Why?

Because being in a state of mind that feels free and excited, and bringing play into your life, matters.

And frankly, it is not always easy for me.

I included chapters on feeling free and play in my book, because I came to understand how important they both are to living your biggest life.

And still, I often struggle to embrace that state of being.

As I kid, I loved playing — hopscotch, hide and seek, dressing up dolls and making up grand scenarios, playing board games and more. My family was not especially sports-oriented, and I never joined a team at school — which is a great way that so many people play as kids and continue to bring fun into their adult lives.

As I got older, there was less time for play, and playing was not encouraged. I got more serious. I tended to buckle down rather than lighten up.

Don’t minimize the benefits of play

What I came to learn, after taking my deep dive into understanding the many dimensions of creativity, is that cultivating the feeling of being free makes your spirit soar. When you feel free like this, you feel inspired. Your imagination takes off and creative energy flows.

And with your spirit awakened, it’s easy to add play into your life.

By playing — which brings on laughter — you accelerate the benefits of feeling free. Creative thinking, new ideas, and fresh solutions show up. That energy leads to more flow.

And just as children learn through play, so do adults. When we play we are able to experiment and explore with more ease. We reduce stress, which is something all of us can benefit from! And our fears quiet down.

In short, we experience more joy.

How can play enrich your life now?

When I find myself heads-down and serious, I remind myself of all the ways I feel better when I lighten up and play — and I consciously choose to bring play into my day.

I know that opening my spirit and playing will impact my work and my relationships. It will infuse everything I do with more positive energy, and that energy will connect me to possibilities, optimism, people and opportunities.

So today, in spite of a long list of things to do, I am scheduling in play with friends. We will visit a sculpture park and revel in the beauty of nature and the creativity all around.

I may even suggest a quick game of tag, or hide and seek, to add more playful energy to the outing.

I invite you to make a playdate — with yourself or a friend. Let’s compare notes on what we experience!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What are you celebrating now?

Celebrating my birthday with my father was especially sweet!

Last week was special for me. I spent a wonderful week of vacation in New York. I celebrated my birthday, and the side trip I took to spend my birthday with my father made it extra-special!

I savored visits to museums. I saw art that lit me up. I walked and explored. I ate lovely meals and met up with a few wonderful friends. I saw a tour de force of theater I will not soon forget.

It was a week of celebration.

I celebrated the life I have created and am able to vibrantly live.

I celebrated the magnificence of art and creative expression I saw each day.

I celebrated the abundant beauty of Central Park ablaze in autumn color.

I celebrated being able to be safely in the world (thank you, New York, for requiring proof of vaccination to enter museums, theaters and restaurants).

I celebrated love — the love of my sweetheart, my family, dear friends, and kind strangers.

What are you celebrating now?

Every day offers us the opportunity to celebrate — to be filled with gratitude and love.

No matter what has happened in the past, everything you have experienced has brought you to today. Can you celebrate the person you are, the wisdom and insight you have gained, your bravery, your commitment, your contributions? Can you celebrate who you are becoming — informed by all of your past?

Can you celebrate the people in your life? Can you reflect back to them all you see that is celebration-worthy (even the smallest attributes and actions, that they may not be aware of or acknowledge)?

Can you celebrate the magic of creation — all that you create in the world, and all the inspiring creation around you? Consider what people create that delights you and supports your wellbeing. And consider the splendid creation of the natural world around you.

Let’s all celebrate together

When you slow down and bring your awareness to all that you can celebrate each and every day, you will be endlessly fueled with inspiration.

You will feel more alive, more excited, more fully authentic, and more connected to others.

You will be filled with love — for yourself and everyone around you.

This, in turns, inspires more love and spreads love far and wide.

I believe in the power of that love. We can all celebrate it with a whole heart!

Let’s live big together — today and every day.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you stuck in the judgement trap?

Have you ever stopped to think about how often you judge people and things? (I am sorry to confess that I have been a “judger” most of my life!)

I was recently invited to choose an object within view and spend a few minutes judging it — which was easy for me to do!

The next step was to look at the object again, and this time simply observe it.

Wow, what a difference I experienced the second time I looked.

I have been bringing that experience to mind often, and repeating the exercise. It is especially valuable to bring this to mind when interacting with people.

Each time I realize what a gift I give myself when I choose to observe instead of judge.

Try it out for yourself

Let’s say you look across the room and choose to focus on a lamp.

Sit and stare at it and judge it.

Perhaps you will think about a color or shape that you don't care for. Maybe you will judge the design as poor, or think about materials you don’t care for. Maybe you will judge the person who made it or the person who purchased it.

Now, look again. This time simply observe the lamp.

You are likely to notice things such as how the metal reflects ambient light in an interesting way. Or the surface texture of the base. Or how it adds balance to the composition of things sitting near it. Maybe upon closer observation, the material that the shade is made of will fascinate you, or you will be curious about the origin of the overall design.

Pause and think about it the two experiences. You will likely realize that when observing you felt calmer and it was more pleasant, and that it opened your thinking in new ways compared to what it felt like when you judged.

Can you imagine that a shift from judging people to observing them could be even more revelatory?

What happens when we judge other people

When judging others, we often make assumptions about a person’s motives, or ascribe qualities to them that are off base. What follows is often a loss to both you and the person you judged. It can sometimes be tremendously damaging to one or both parties.

We hurt ourselves when we judge, we can cause hurt to those we judge, and we limit what might be a great connection when we judge as a first impulse.

On the other hand, when we choose to observe people rather than judge, we open to deeper and more significant insights.

By choosing to observe and opting to be open and curious, we are inspired to ask good questions. Asking questions bourn from an observer's curiosity and interest in discovery can reveal truths we would never become aware of if we started with judgement.

This small shift can have a huge impact for you

Since my first experience of judging and then observing, I have been bringing the awareness to many encounters in my orbit. I find it to be most meaningful when I think about people — both those I know well, and new people I meet for the first time.

Each time I observe I notice subtleties and find things to appreciate that were not immediately obvious. Questions often come to mind that result in great information or insights. I reap rich gifts when I observe. And I am relieved not to have the kinds of judgmental thoughts I was so accustomed for so much of my past.

I have also shared this suggestion with a number of clients recently. They report finding this practice to be extremely helpful.

And adopting this way of looking at people and things around you is a practice.

Why not give it a try yourself, and see what happens when you practice enough to make it your new way of viewing and engaging with the world?

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you a “pushaholic”?

Last week I shared about how my body forced me to slow down. In the article I urged you to chose to slow down and create more space for yourself.

I received many emails from readers who related to my tale and thanked me for my suggestion. That got me thinking more about why we drive ourselves so hard, and about specific ways to make a shift.

We have a choice, each day, to decide how we will live that day.

But most of us operate on autopilot, failing to pause and consider how we want to live.

Does this sound familiar?

Most of us muscle through our long list of tasks — pushing ourselves to get a lot done (as we try to get everything done on to-do lists that seem to be endless).

It feels logical to simply buckle down and work hard. After all, how else will we get to (or through) all of it?

If you take the time to pause and think about it, you may realize that that approach is far from ideal.

What happens when we push ourselves

When we push ourselves relentlessly we wear ourselves down and feel exhausted. We often feel resentful, or hopeless.

That makes it hard to feel energized, even about doing things that we like and want to do.

The stress of overwork leads many of us to burnout — feeling overwhelmed, drained, and unable to ever get caught up, much less ahead. Both our psyches and our bodies often pay a price — like mine did recently. We can suffer from headaches, intestinal issues, poor sleep, and more.

Consider this alternative

Instead of pushing so hard, what if you were open to allowing yourself to slow down a bit and welcome flow.

By that, I mean connecting to the reason that the things on your list matter to you, and then focusing on what is right for you.

Ask yourself: “Why are each of these things on my to-do list.” And, “Why am I doing them?”

Next ask: “What is on my list that is not aligned with what matters to me?”

Certainly, we all have some things to do that do not excite us. (I have to renew my driver’s license soon, and have forms to complete, and household tasks to get taken care of.) But when I think about why those things matter to me, I am able to approach them with more ease and enthusiasm. For instance, I want to drive with a current license that will also alow me to get through security at an airport for upcoming travels.

Even things you don’t like doing, there are some things that simply must get done (like paying your taxes on time). These can often be reframed in a way that makes them feel less heavy.

By focusing on the items and actions that excite me (as well as any “must-do’s that will keep me out of trouble), I can more easily decide to delegate some tasks to others. And I can choose not to do things that ended up on my list because I quickly said yes without realizing the “yes” was for the wrong reason.

(Things that we come to realize ought to be “no’s” typically show up because we feel obligated, do not set clear boundaries, or we are trying to please others more than make decisions that align with our desires and priorities.)

Take some time to decide what you can delegate and what you can drop.

The energy of flow is easier to access when your choices are clear and have meaning for you.

The last pieces of the puzzle

When you have “cleaned up your list” and connected to more positive energy, you can also reorder what is left. Take care of things in a sequence that serves you best.

And be sure to remember how much you can trust yourself to move forward with clarity and focus, even if it takes a little while to get the hang of this new way of living.

I invite you to also trust that the universe will support you, as you stay aligned with actions that are meaningful to you and that you approach with positivity.

I predict that, with practice, you will experience what I call the “flow energy” of operating this way. I have been making this shift and loving the results.

Why not give this approach a go today? Then, hit reply to let me know how it works for you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Don’t learn this lesson the hard way (like I did)

When I wrote to you last week I mentioned that I’d been away at a retreat and returned feeling very tired. That was just half the story.

The full story is that I was also ill. My GI system was not working well, and I was exhausted.

So in spite of having a big back-log of emails and tasks that I’d planned to get through when I returned, my body had other ideas. It sent me a big signal: slow down.

Slowing down has not always been easy for me!

The importance of slowing down is hardly a new insight for me. In fact, the first chapter of my book is titled Slow Down and Be Still. When I wrote the book, I realized that chapter had to come first, because I see it as the foundation for living big.

We live in a culture where doing, rushing, and pushing ourselves to achieve is celebrated. I bought into that for years, and have struggled to consistently slow down for at least a decade. I have made progress, but I often override my better judgement and keep my foot on the gas.

This past week my body shouted insistently at me. (It was anything but subtle!) I decided to listen and soften, rather than fight it. And I’m glad I did.

Slow down before your body forces the issue

I have had to remind myself of the benefits of slowing down more times than I care to admit. (As they say, we teach what we most need to learn.)

I know that there are great benefits to slowing down, and yet once again the universe stepped in to make sure I would take care of myself — and walk my talk!

I surrendered.

I rescheduled dates and tasks on my calendar that could wait. I slept long enough that I woke up feeling rested, without the sound of a harsh alarm to rouse me. I sat and meditated every day. I read. I took short walks to breathe fresh air and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. I quietly sipped warm cups of tea and ate nourishing meals without multitasking.

I did some meaningful work, but I did not let myself overdo it.

And here’s what happened.

I had time to think and reflect. I noticed subtleties that I usually miss. And I came up with new ideas that excite me.

I feel so much better now. I started healing my body, and also healing my spirit.

What about you?

If this message resonates for you, try at least one way of slowing down today. Savor the sensations you notice when you do that.

And plan to give yourself this gift again tomorrow.

I know I am carefully creating more space for myself each day, and invite you to do the same.

Leave a comment, or email me to let me know what happens for you when you bring more stillness into your life.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Can you relate to these short stories?

People ask me about my coaching all the time, and while I talk about working with accomplished women who yearn for change and want to make a big bold move in their lives, it's always the real stories that help people understand what the work is about, and who it helps.

And who doesn’t like stories?

While I could bend your ear for days, check out these (very short) stories.

Three stories about three terrific women

Story #1 | Pricing fears and asking for what your work is worth

Following my Live Big Live! retreat at the start of the month, I began working with a super-talented woman who has done major projects in her field for years. And still, what showed up at the retreat was a money story that many of us are burdened with — and that I related to from years past.

She struggles with how to ask for a fee that she knows is valid, without worry about what the client can afford. On top of that, she has a tendency to skinny her fees down with the hope that she’ll have a better chance to get the project. She allows fear to influence her pricing. That does’t feel good and it doesn’t serve her.

After just one private coaching session, where we worked on a proposal that is due soon, we not only focused on clearly right-pricing the work, but on presenting the scope in a brief but compelling way that felt great to her. And she included a fee that she knows in her heart is fair for what the project will entail and what she deserves to earn.

I love to support clients to make mindset shifts and also bring my business expertise into the work.

Is her mindset challenge “fixed” now? There will be more work to do to address the money stories and scarcity mindset that has challenged her for years, but we have made a big start.

Story #2 | Building a distinctive personal brand

Another client I am working with now is a rock-star in her field. Yet she competes with many other professionals who do the same type of work she does. In a networking program with many other similar experts she has struggled to differentiate herself and garner lots of referrals.

An additional challenge for her is showing up in big virtual meetings so that she looks great, feels confident and is consistemtly recognized.

Once again, my business and marketing background is coming into the work we are doing. We have moved through a process of getting super-clear about all that her work encompasses, how she does it, and identifying her best clients and the aspects of her work she most desires. We then honed a message that is short, distinctive, memorable, and easy for her to deliver. She now speaks it with delight, allowing her true personality and energy to shine.

We are also working on choosing the best place in her home environment for her to attend on-line meetings, so that she shows up well on-screen, even in a very small block. We’re selecting the clothes that work best on-screen and talking about hair, makeup, headsets and lighting so that she will connect to others with maximum impact.

It is a delight to watch this process unfold, and a delight to see the pleasure she is taking, step-by-step.

Story #3 | Refocusing and relaunching after a career pause

A newer client had taken time away from an impressive high-profile media career to focus on family matters (including divorce and a range of health issues), compounded by the impact of COVID. She is now ready to step back into her power and focus on her career again.

She realized that what she had done in the past is no longer a fit with her current life — as a parent, living in a new part of the country, and now seeing things with new perspective. The challenge has been finding a new, clear focus and creating a vision that is fueled by her clarified insights about her purpose. She also needs to choose a path that feels doable.

She is already well on her way. She is excited to be taking a deep dive into learning and she clearly envisions doing this new work. It will have a tremendous impact on a population she deeply wants to enlighten, and will support her to live the life she wants for herself and her child.

What story are you ready to make real?

All of us are on a path as we live each day. What do you envision as you move along your path?

We can all create the next chapter in our lives — whether it entails a big leap into something new or refining and optimizing the path you are on now.

What are you ready to step into, or up to, now?

I invite you to schedule Live Big Breakthrough Call with me to share what it is that you feel ready for.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to supercharge your thinking

Most people misunderstand creativity, and many are sure they are not creative. (I address this all the time, in podcasts interviews and when I speak to audiences of professional women.)

Rather than try to dispel those misconceptions today, I want to share a simple and actionable insight that anyone can use with ease, and that is sure to ramp up creativity and improve your life.

Put all of your brain power to use!

What, you say? I am not using all of my brain?

We live in a culture that leans hard into left-brain thinking.

We want data, we trust facts, and we look for logic all the time. We believe that by gathering all of that we can devise the best strategies and make our best decisions.

But when we hold that focus, we leave the gifts of our right-brain out of the picture. We fail to benefit from the rich insights and creative resources our right brains are there to provide.

How the right brain works, and what happens when we use it.

The right hemisphere of the brain is where imagination lives. Big ideas, new concepts and fresh thinking are spawned there. All of these can emerge when we understand how to get the best from our right brains.

And it's not hard to do!

Here are a few ways to set the conditions for your right brain to get going:

• Go for a walk around the block.

• Take a shower, or a bath.

• Look at the sky.

• Do some people-watching.

• Doodle.

• Sing or dance or play an instrument.

• Or even do nothing for 10 minutes.

Any of these will give your left brain a rest, allowing the right hemisphere to pick up bits of logic, facts and data and come up with fresh, new, surprising possibilities.

Who hasn’t marveled at how they got a great idea in the shower? Now you know why that happened. You can easily create the conditions for great ideas to show up more often!

Abundant creative ideas are great — and there are even more benefits!

Tapping the right brain and opening creative channels also connects you to your intuition — an immense resource most of us miss as we rush through our days. Listening to your intuition is like having a second brain — there is so much innate wisdom available to you when this connection is clear.

When you make bigger connections to your intuition you will notice that your heart is more open. In that way you’ll connect to your true desires, deeply-held values, and reap more insight. That insight leads to personal growth.

I witnessed all of this happening with the remarkable women who attended my Live Big Live! retreat last week.

On each of the three days we spent together I included time for their right brains to play and added creative experiences along with teaching, exercises and sharing. I witnessed accelerated insights, open hearts and glorious inspiration as each woman took steps into her future — futures that are truly aligned with who they are, what they want, and what has deep meaning for each of them. It was a joy to see it all unfold.

I invite you to set the stage for more right-brain activation so that you, too, can be more inspired, create with joy, and Live Big.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to explore how Live Big Live! may accelerate your path to living big, schedule a call with me.)

3 questions to ask yourself everyday

Are you getting out to enjoy the wonderful fall weather? Making time to get into nature enriches the soul and the body.

I must admit that it’s been hard for me to make time to get outside and reap the array of pleasures and benefits lately.

With the Live Big Live! retreat coming up this week, family matters that need my attention, and oh so many things I am trying to fit into my day, I have been putting time for myself way down on my list of to-do’s.

Can you relate?

But here’s the thing I know. When I move my self-care up to make it a top to-do, everything else gets better.

Have you tested this out?

Last week I made a point of getting out to take a walk, even when I was super-busy. And, as I have experienced in the past, lots of great things happened as a result.

I felt refreshed — both in body and spirit.

I had time to think without distraction. Ideas started to pop up like crazy.

I waved hello to neighbors I rarely see.

I captured a few photos of beauty that I noticed as I walked past lovely gardens.

I returned to my desk with new energy and perspective, and moved more quickly through a number of tasks that had felt burdensome earlier in the day.

Why do we forget what we have already learned?

As you can imagine, what I described was not a new revelation. I learned long ago that making time for myself, in any number of ways, always pays off.

And I teach this! These lessons are threaded throughout my book!

While I could beat myself up for not staying on track and tending to time for my own well-being, I know that as a human (not a machine!) I am not in a fixed state of being. And modifying my life-long inclination to work hard is an ongoing process.

How to stay aware and get back on track

I have found that asking myself three key questions on a regular basis helps. I created a small reminder card for myself, that I have placed where I see it often.

You might want to grab this PDF and print it out for yourself. Or, write your own key questions. What will prompt you to make time for small ways to boost your well-being and make each day lighter and happier?

By keeping a reminder handy, you will be less likely to fall back into habits that do not support you to live your best life each day.

And, having asked myself these questions again just now, I am stepping away from my desk to feel the sun, breathe fresh air, and enjoy a brisk walk around the block!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who doesn’t love a quick-fix?

Last week I wrote about the power of positive thinking, and shared a number of strategies to use when negative thoughts show up. In case you missed it, you can read it here.

I have an additional idea to share with you today — it’s an especially easy, fast technique you can use any time you need to quickly get into a better frame of mind. 

Because sometimes we just need a go-to technique to use on the fly.

Three quick steps to lift your spirits

All of these are great when used alone, but when you string them together they are especially effective.

1. Pause and get quiet

Whenever you start to feel overwhelmed, or start down the path of negative thinking, a great first step is to briefly pause and take a few breaths.

If you can find a quiet spot to do this, that’s swell. But it works even in the midst of a busy or noisy place.

Simply close your eyes and take a few deep slow breaths. Tune in to the sensation of a full breath filling your body on your inhale. Make your exhale long and slow. 

Repeat a few times. That’s it!

2. Give yourself a little pep talk

Having let go of tension, this is a perfect moment to remind yourself of how amazing you are. Simply create a short statement of affirmation.

Say something like, “I am a remarkable, capable, loving person.” Of course, you can include whatever attributes you most want to affirm for yourself!

In this moment of thought you add a juicy dollop of self-love to your day! (If you want to learn about self-love and how to tame your self-critic, download my guide here.) 

This step takes your spirit a step higher.

3. Give yourself at least three “Yay Me’s”

I love having my clients share “Yay Me’s” — which are simply statements of acknowledgement for good things they have done. These opportunities for self-appreciation can be about small moments of courage or commitment, or bold steps or accomplishments, or anything in between.

While you may want to think back to acknowledge yourself for something significant you did in your past, be sure to recall at least one or two things you did in the last 24 hours.

This gives you evidence that you do great things all the time, and adds a boost to set you up for positivity for the rest of your day.

Take note of meaningful shifts

This short process can be completed in as little as one to two minutes!

You can extend it if you wish, but even when done quickly, the stress-filled or negative thoughts you felt at the start will be changed.

You are bound to experience both a physiologic change and an energetic change.

Do you feel calmer? Refreshed? Are you thinking more positive thoughts?  

Look for an opportunity to use this process for several days in a row (whether or not you are experiencing stress) and see how the cumulative effect adds up.

You can amplify this process

When you are in a positive frame of mind more of the time, you can choose to think more creatively — about everything in your life! Why not look for ways to bring your positive energy into the next conversation, or the next solution to a client’s challenges, or whatever you are focused on today?

Leave a comment or email me and let me know how this quick 3-step process works for you — as well as any of the other suggestions I shared last week. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Why we say “Yes” to things that are “No’s”

Last week I suggested five steps you can take to love your to-do list, and end the feeling of overwhelm that to-do lists bring on for so many of us. The response to that post was tremendous.

I want to go a bit deeper on this topic now, because there are common reasons that smart, ambitious women tend to overload their to-do lists. If you followed the process I offered last week, you may have removed items and wondered how they got on your list to begin with.

Consider why you say “Yes”

We have all done it — said, “Yes” to things we really do not want to do. Those things not only make for an overly-long and overwhelming to-do list, they usually cause us to feel resentment.

There are several reasons that we tend to say “Yes” and regret it later.

While all three of these reasons may not be relevant to you, consider them in this order:

1. We want to be nice.

Many of us were raised to be nice. Feeling obligated to be nice all the time leads lots of women (and men) to become people-pleasers.

It’s hard for people-pleasers to say, “No.” Their impulse is to avoid conflict. Over time, people-pleasers are burdened by all they agree to do. 

We often confuse being nice with being kind. One can kindly decline a request or disagree with someone. It takes awareness and some practice, but people-pleasers can learn to kindly take their power back!

2. We are unfocused.

A lack of clarity is a big reason that people say “Yes” so often that they become overwhelmed.

When we do not examine what we really want to do — with a focus on what truly matters to us the most — it is likely that we will agree to so many things that we find ourselves spread too thin and feeling splattered.

Spend some time considering where you want to aim your focus and why. With that in mind, you will say “Yes” with more discernment.

3. We fail to set boundaries that align with what’s important to us.

For some people it can feel harsh to set boundaries, but good boundaries are key to living a sustainable and happy life.

We all have a finite amount to time, energy and attention to expend each day. Thus it is crucial to consider the boundaries that will support you to make the most of every day.

Good boundaries need to be in place with both the people you are close to and those you are not so close with.

Consider the boundaries you might set with with colleagues and with clients.

And consider setting personal boundaries if you notice intrusions that hamper your attention, time and/or energy. You may want to limit your impulses to dive down rabbit holes like time spent on social media, researching topics far more extensively than is required, or long stretches of screen time.

Boundaries can be set more easily when you have clarity, and they can always be set with kindness!

Honor what you choose to make your focus

I invite you to thoughtfully explore the three topics above. What things are most important to you, and what changes will support you to keep your focus on them?

Keeping a focus on the things you most desire will give you a boost of positive energy, as well as more time in your life to realize them. Why not begin to implement these ideas, and see how they can support you to live each day with less stress and more satisfaction?

And if you want to think about getting help to address deeply ingrained practices and habits that stand in your way, so you can more easily bring significant change into your life, let’s talk. I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I'll be glad to give you new insights and perspectives about your challenges and hear about the changes you want to make. We can explore if my coaching is a fit for you — and if not, that’s fine. We’ll sort out your next best step.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.