3 easy ways to create more space in your life

I have been writing a new talk for weeks, that I presented for the first time last Tuesday. It was wonderful to share something new with the attendees of Lexington Wealth Management’s Empower Women series.

The title of my latest talk is: Live Big Without Sacrifice

As I have observed the lives of women (and men) around me, have heard from my clients, have reflected on the culture that surrounds us all, and focused on my own life, it is clear how many of us sacrifice our physical and mental wellbeing each day. The degree of sacrifice varies, but those sacrifices take a toll.

Now this is a big topic, and my talk offers major themes that may not be top-of-mind for most. But I want to share a fundamental truth (one that you may be familiar with if you have read my book) that I hope will help you today.

We need to create more time to simply BE

When we make space to BE more, we not only rest and care for ourselves, we are able to consider what really matters to us.

This space allows us to get clear about what we want to DO, and gain more insight into how we want to do those things.

As I say in my book, Live Big, we are human beings, but most of us spend most of our time doing. I invite you to focus on BEING before DOING.

And all of the ways of being that we choose to make our focus will create a foundation for the quality of our lives.

Let’s consider the most basic matter:

How to create space for more BEING

As I write today, I am away, with time to rest and reflect after a busy start of the year. Vacations are great — but they are not the answer.

The challenge (and imperative) is to focus on how to BE more in the midst of a busy life.

I invite you to explore these 3 ideas:

1. Commit to a morning practice

The form and duration of your morning practice is a personal choice.

It may include stretching or yoga, going for a run, or some other exercise. It may include journaling. It may include meditation. It may be structured so there is no screen time or listening to news before you get outside and breath fresh air.

One part of my daily practice is to pull a card from an oracle deck and use that as a prompt for journaling, reflecting, and setting intentions for my day.

If the idea of a morning practice is new to you, why not experiment and find what you like best?

2. Schedule breaks in your day

How many times have you plowed through your day, grabbed lunch on the go, and barely had time to think of anything other than the pressing items on your to-do list?

This a sure path to burnout! Why not make one or more of these ideas a regular part of each day?

• Take a “sacred pause.” Simply find a quiet place, set your clock for 2 minutes, close your eyes, and breathe quietly. (That’s it!)

• Make time to digest a healthy meal and bring your attention to the present. Chew your food slowly, savor the flavors and textures. You might sit in stillness or share a pleasant conversation.

• Chose to sit and do nothing! It could be to sit on a bench where you can watch people go by. Maybe you will look out a window at the sky or vista. Any form of doing nothing — for 5 or 10 minutes (or longer) will make a big difference in your wellbeing.

• Do a little moving. Walk around the block. Use the stairs instead of taking an escalator. Stand and stretch out your achy muscles after sitting in a meeting or being stuck at your desk. Your body will thank you!

3. Seek out inspiration and delight

This idea is the icing on the cake — and might be combined with things you choose in the two categories above, or something you do in another way.

When you look for wonder in your midst, or seek out beauty with intention, you light up your spirit and open your heart.

You might take a mid-day walk and use the camera on your phone to capture moments of natural beauty, or snap a photo of a curious color combination or an interesting light pattern. Or, look around you indoors and see where there are moments of delight you can savor.

You might schedule a date with yourself or a friend to visit a gallery, or go into a lovely shop you spotted as you drove past.

Any form of inspiration will bring positive energy into your life.

Why not start today?

I hope you will join me and commit to regularly giving yourself the space and grace to BE more — especially in the midst of a life that feels busy.

Small practices that create more space for you can have a surprisingly big impact.

Please share what you try and what you experience. Let’s stay inspired together!

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

How to harness your attention and reap big rewards

Have you noticed — in yourself, and others around you — how often our attention is focused on things that happened in the past and things that have not yet happened?

We replay the past for so many reasons.

We recall disappointments and mistakes and rerun them in our minds. Sometimes we replay happy events and successes, but most of us are pulled to memories that related to failures, sadness, frustration, shame and regret.

We also have a tendency to focus our thinking on things in the future.

It certainly makes sense to plan ahead and keep future goals in mind, but there's a trap here. We often create assumptions and spin stories about things that we think are likely to happen, and get stuck focused on the imagined events and outcomes.

What we miss is the opportunity to be fully present. We miss now, and all the potential of the moment we are in.

Attention is a precious commodity

We all know there are only 24 hours in a day — that limit is clear.

What most people fail to consider is that our attention each day also has limits.

Our attention is precious. We help ourselves enormously when we allocate our attention with care.

Do you ever pause to ask yourself questions like these?

• Where am I directing my attention?

• What am I choosing to focus on?

• Am I present now, or am I thinking about the past?

• Am I present now, or am I focused on what may or may not happen down the road?

I invite you to appreciate the importance of asking questions like these to assess where your attention lies in a given moment.

I also invite you to appreciate the opportunities that are yours when you are fully present.

The gifts of living in the now

We miss so much opportunity when we fail to be fully present.

Rather than suffering when we rehash events of the past (instead of learning from them and moving on), when you focus on the present you can reap the insights and opportunities that are in front of you now.

Rather than imagining (and often fretting about) things that have not happened, and may never happen, when you focus on the present you can make the most of the moment you are in, think expansively, and actively take steps to shape the future.

Being present keeps you open and aware. You can be curious. You can listen to your intuition. You can spot opportunities, and tune in to events and people around you.

Most of all, when you live in the present, you are able to create each next best decision as you move through your day.

Being fully present enables you to make the most of your precious attention, so you can create your best life one moment at a time.

Why not give yourself that gift today, and bring that awareness into your life again tomorrow? Before long, you will be living in the present with ease, and reaping great rewards.

I’d love to hear about the impact this practice has for you.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

Recalling 3 special gifts my mother gave me

I don’t know about you, but I just realized that Mother’s Day is coming up this weekend!

Mother’s Day is bittersweet for me. It’s wonderful being with my children and two precious grandchildren. But ever since I lost my mother in August 2020, anticipating the day brings back memories of family celebrations over many decades that make me long to embrace my mother again, and see her smile.

I am savoring those sweet memories (including her delight at being with us at my son’s college graduation, that you can see in the photo above), and recalling how much she influenced not only me, but countless others.

My mother’s wisdom

If you are a long-time reader of my Big Ideas, you may recall the post I wrote about my mother's lessons for all of us, that was written soon after she died.

Today I am thinking again about some of the ways she enriched not only her family and friends, but the many ways she had a huge impact that spread far like ripples. Her influence continues to enrich countless people who often speak to me about her.

Here are a few gems I am thinking about and want to share.

When we care about others they remember and are grateful

My mother loved people. Many of my friends continue to recall how much they loved hanging at our house, and secretly wished my mother was theirs.

My mother could meet you at a cafe or sit next to you on a plane ride, and strike up such a rich connection that she would then introduce you to others with whom you’d click right away.

She was genuine and warm and cared. This is something we can all consider when we have opportunities to connect to others.

When we share what we love we inspire others

My mother had a deep love for beautiful things. She loved art. She loved being in nature and seeing beautiful vistas. She set the most exquisite tables (and cooked exquisite food to put on those tables). Many friends have shared stories about how she helped them rearrange a bookcase, or a room, or their kitchen cabinets, so they were both beautiful and functional.

I grew up thinking that everyone was surrounded by beauty and appreciated beauty. I came to realize that that is far from universal.

By tuning in to beauty, and creating moments that are beautiful whenever possible, you add delight to your life and you delight and inspire others.

When we love with a whole heart we create a wonderful life

My mother was full of love. Does that mean she lived a dream life? None of us are blessed with a life that is “perfect.”

And still, love was front and center in her life, and its role was great.

She loved my father for over 70 years. She loved her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. Taking her children, and later her grandchildren, on trips meant the world to her — and created many lasting sweet memories. She had deep friendships and spread her smile and love with tremendous generosity.

One amazing way my mother expressed love was through her art. The sketchbooks she filled on vacations, the paintings and prints and drawings that filled our home, all transmitted her love.

I have come to see how much she created, in ways I did not appreciate growing up.

Fueled by love, she created deep meaningful connections. Fueled by love she created environments that were a joy to be in. Fueled by love, she generously helped others. Fueled by love, her culinary creations were legendary. Fueled by love, she adventured to far-off places and brought home stories and drawings to share the delight she felt.

Thanks to my mother, I fuel my life with love

I have made love a great focus in my life. I try and bring that energy to everything I do.

One thing I was inspired to do is study, practice, and teach about the importance of self-love. This is one form of love I wish my mother had made a greater focus for herself.

Why do I consider self-love to be so important? When we truly love and value and believe in ourselves and our gifts, we can bring the greatest love to others, and to everything we do.

I invite you to consider all the ways you can bring a deeper focus to love, and find inspiration for all you do when you make love your starting point.

Rather than having fear, or anger, or anxiety intrude, choose to start with love. Bring it into your relationships, and into the the work you do, and into your orientation to everything, every day.

You will give yourself a magnificent gift and you will spread love far and wide.

In fact, like my mother, you may never even realize the influence you will have.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

If you crave certainty, this is for you

If you celebrated a holiday this past weekend, I hope it was lovely.

We look forward to many events, and hope for gatherings to be happy, friction-free and fun.

Like many moments in life, we crave certainty and we aim to control outcomes — in spite of the fact that such control is unrealistic.

How to let go of control and stress

Of course, we must first acknowledge that there are things beyond our control.

It’s those things that we think we can control that I’m addressing here.

Whether you are hosting a holiday meal or planning a business program, pitching a proposal or heading out for vacation, the impulse to control everything to assure perfection is tempting (and for some, an automatic way to operate).

For most people, that brings on stress — which is not only counter-productive, it hinders that outcome they desire.

Here are three great approaches to try instead:

1. Be clear about the control you have

The only thing we can be certain about is a belief in ourselves. (This may take some cultivating, and I promise it will be a worthwhile endeavor.)

Consider bringing focus to these areas:

• your resourcefulness

• your resilience

• your efforts to do your best

• your trust in yourself

When you focus there, strengthen each of them, and believe in these qualities, you are in the best position to move ahead effectively and with confidence.

2. Let go of the need for perfection

I realize this one is hard for many of us. (I consider myself a “recovering perfectionist,” and this is life-long work for me!)

There are two ways to think about perfection.

• One is to acknowledge that there is no such thing as perfection. This allows us to take things far less seriously, and removes judgement. We can appreciate good and great, not needing “perfect.”

• The other option is to accept that whatever happens is perfect! We can be proud and happy for good outcomes, and can learn from less-than-ideal outcomes. These less-than-stellar results are gifts that can inform our future efforts, and are often the best thing possible in the long-run.

I try to embrace both of these concepts.

3. Give yourself grace

When you embrace points one and two, you can move ahead with a foundation of self-love and self-compassion. You can bring more of your gifts to every project and plan on which you embark.

You can not only trust yourself, you can extend the trust to those with whom you choose to collaborate. And you can trust the universe to support your efforts.

You can appreciate that everything is an opportunity for learning and expansion.

This self-leadership is the foundation for leadership of all sorts in your life. Leading at work, leading the way for healthy relationships, inspiring others as you lead with creativity and vision, committing to ongoing self-awareness, and, ultimately, making the biggest impact.

Are you ready to boldly lead your life?

Every day affords each of us the opportunity for growth and for expansion — for becoming the confident, clear, focused person we aspire to be.

Perhaps you are a woman who yearns to be a stronger leader in your life, and is ready to bring all of your greatness forward to create your most inspired future.

If that resonates with you, let’s talk.

Email me and we’ll make a date to explore the dreams you have and what’s in the way. I would be happy to provide insights, and may have resources to offer you.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

Looking for fresh inspiration? Check out these 3 big ideas.

The glory of spring is palpable, and getting most of us excited — excited to be outdoors in warmer temperatures, excited to see colors blooming, excited to begin to see people in person. I enjoyed a wonderful walk with a colleague on Friday afternoon, and look forward to more opportunities to see people, ideally outdoors.

Getting outside is one of many great ways to get inspired. We’ve been cooped up for so long, and while video calls have kept us connected, the chance to be together for real feels great.

How to create inspiration when it goes AWOL

No matter the time of year or the external constraints (the pandemic having been a huge one for the last two years), we all have times when we feel uninspired, or experience a dip in energy and enthusiasm.

When that happens, it can help to have a short cheat-sheet for ways to find a spark.

Here are three great ways to light up your spirits.

These approaches can build enthusiasm for a task at hand, get you excited about taking on a big new project, can help you overcome doubt, and can generally get you feeling more alive and excited.

1. Invite a great conversation

I often say that everything good happens in a conversation. Sure, email is great, and texting has its place, but an actual conversation offers so much more possibility.

And if that conversation happens in person, all the better! (The walk with my colleague on Friday was richer because we spent time together on a circuit around a gorgeous reservoir and had a far-reaching conversation.)

The key is to invite people who think positively, who are curious, maybe funny, and in whose company you feel happy.

2. Look for wonder

I wrote a chapter titled See Wonder, in my book.

Why?

Because wonder lights us up. It inspires us and connects us to our hearts. And most of us miss it as we rush through our days.

When we tune in to the wonder that is all around us — beauty in nature; a shadow created by light streaming through a window; the colors, textures and tastes of lovely food, for example — our outlook about everything is buoyed.

We all have a camera on hand! Why not look for wonder and capture that moment with the camera on your phone. You can pause to savor wonder in the moment, and reconnect to the wonder any time as you pursue the photos in your library.

3. Play!

I also wrote a chapter on Play in my book.

And, this topic is still a work-in progress for me. I think it is for many adults.

The more I have learned about play, the more impressed I am about the power that plays has for us. We can all benefit from returning to the power of play that most of us experienced as kids.

When we play things don’t feel so serious. Fear drops away. When we get silly and experiment, we stop worrying about mistakes and are more focused on possibilities. We are in the moment, present and excited.

When we play and feel joy, life feels expansive. We create with ease!

I know that the possibility of letting go to play with abandon can feel risky for some. Maybe you were “good at” play as a kid, and maybe not. At some point nearly all of us were told it was time to get serious, we played less, and we are out of practice.

Why not look for opportunities to bring play into your life, and practice it?

Inspiration fuels creativity

And creativity is the key to making the life you deeply desire a reality.

Life is precious. Each day counts.

When you stay inspired, when you are truly self-aware and focused, when you learn to bring all of your best self into the world and are able to navigate the inevitable challenges (big and small) as they show up, you can create an inspired, fulfilling life.

Many accomplished, thoughtful women want that life, and yet don’t know how to get there, or struggle to do it on their own.

Perhaps some of these thought have occurred to you:

I am ready to stop settling for less than what’s possible.
I feel there is something more I want to explore or do.
I know I am ready to take a bold step in my life, but I don’t know what it is.
I know it's time for me to stop living small.

If thoughts like these feel familiar, and you want to explore what is possible for you, let’s talk.

The Spring 2022 Live Big Live! program is kicking off soon. If you are ready to light up your spirit, get clear about your vision, and create an inspired future with intention, email me and we’ll see if this program is a fit for you.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

Don’t miss out on the subtle gifts of the season

There is no doubt that living through the pandemic for over 2 years has changed us. Even those fortunate enough to have remained healthy and working productively are realizing ways that they have been impacted.

Researchers are now sharing more insights about sleep interruption; mental health problems caused by isolation, grief and worry; stress associated with everything from economic changes to parenting children of every age; and physical challenges that include unusually early starts of menstruation, weight gain, lack of exercise, and the damage the body suffers from sitting for hours on end.

I am grateful that spring (which is just becoming evident here in New England) is here — on the calendar and in front of our eyes. With this new season we can approach our lives in many ways that will support our physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.

Spring offers many gifts

Most of us think about spring as a time of warmer temperatures, blooming flowers and trees, and the delight of being outdoors with ease.

And I am grateful for all of that!

There is also a deeper layer of opportunity and insight we can explore. We are more closely connected to the rhythms and energy of nature than many of us realize. There is an intelligence in nature we can tap into now.

We just lived through the season of winter and receptivity.

Nature inspired us to be more quiet and reflective, connecting to deep inner knowing. It was a time to dream and feel inspired to create visions for what we want.

Spring shifts us into the season of embodiment — and this is a time to focus on being.

We can focus on becoming the person who will activate the insights and visions of winter — and become energized to plant the seeds for all that we dreamed of creating.

When we are fully embodied, awakened and inspired, we can plant the seeds with care and tend to the seeds. Even when challenges appear (which is inevitable), we can keep our energy strong, stay focused, and bring loving devotion to the effort of nurturing what we aim to create.

How to embrace the energy of the season

When I embark on anything new — and I have a lot of new things I am planting seeds for now — I first aim to feel as inspired as possible. One thing that always opens my heart is seeing great art.

This weekend I went to the Museum of Fine Arts (for only the second time since the start of the pandemic). I chose to spend most of my time in galleries that were not crowded, and the gift was that I found incredible treasures. They provided wonderful inspiration.

A brisk walk near the museum offered a great wake-up for many muscle groups in my stiff body. And spotting early signs of color and plant growth lifted my spirits to even great heights.

While it was not on my plan for the day, when I got home I felt a huge desire to paint! I turned on my favorite music and three hours of creating flew by. New ideas came pouring in, too.

This positioned me to start the week filled with energy, brimming with big ideas, and feeling physically vibrant.

How will you make the most of the season?

Each day we have the opportunity to renew and bolster our energy, to support vibrant physical wellbeing and a strong spirit.

As you focus on who you are becoming in this season of growth, think about what seeds you feel called to plant now.

And think about how will you keep your energy strong, to tend to them over time.

Spend a few minutes focusing on what lights you up, opens your heart, inspires you. What opportunities are accessible to you, to excite you now?

Maybe you will pass on a museum visit and hop on your bike, or plan a social event with special friends in a gorgeous place, or try a new kind of yoga, or play an instrument, or start a dance party, or explore a scenic town.

I would love to hear what you choose, and what happens when you activate your energy to make the most of this glorious season. Leave a comment, or email me.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

What choices will you make today?

Considering how much accomplished people like us do each day, and considering the demands on our time and attention — from work matters, to family responsibilities, to concerns about world events — it’s no wonder that many of us feel stressed.

It’s easy to feel pulled in many directions as we move through each day. It can feel like trying to juggle too many balls at once.

This state of being can be exhausting. And sometimes it feels like there's no way to avoid the pressure.

Yet, there is an alternative to living with stress.

You always get to choose

While many pressures may feel beyond your control, the truth is that we always have choices, and we get to choose.

Here are three ways you can do that.

1. You can choose your frame of mind

This is a big opportunity, and one that many people never consider.

It may feel like an automatic response to be overwhelmed when there’s a lot going on, or demands are being made of us. We tend to approach everything with overwhelmed energy.

In fact, you can choose the way you respond.

You can choose to slow down.

You can choose to breathe with intention.

You can choose to be thoughtful, and to move forward calmly.

You can choose to be optimistic. You can choose to be supportive. You can choose to bring humor to the moment.

The energy you bring into any conversation or effort impacts the outcome you will experience.

What frame of mind and energy do you want to choose right now?

2. You can choose to be curious

Rather than jumping to judgement — of yourself or others — when things do not go as you wish, you can choose to be open, observant and curious.

Making the choice to observe and be curious entails slowing down. A benefit of slowing down is that you can think a bit and create your next step forward or your response, rather that reacting in the heat of the moment.

Curiosity can inspire you to ask great questions.

You might ask,

Why are things happening as they are?

What if I/we try a new approached to see what happens?

What might be possible that I never considered?

Questions like these put you on a path of discovery.

What can you consider with curiosity today?

3. You can choose relationships that make you happy

While there may be difficult people in your life with whom you must be connected, there are many people you can intentionally choose to include, or not include.

You get to choose to spend time with people who show up with positive energy.

And you get to minimize or end connections to people who are negative, harsh, critical, angry, or unkind. (I know this may sound hard to do, particularly if you are a people-pleaser, but it can be done.)

“Toxic” relationships take a toll on us.

Why not choose to surround yourself with people who show up with joy, love, fun and optimism? (And why not choose to minimize time with those who drain your energy, even as you must stay connected?)

This is a great time to make a list of people with whom you want to spend more time, and those you want to see less of — or stop seeing.

When you choose with intention, you create the life you want

I hope you feel inspired to bring awareness to how you use your energy each day.

Will you choose to be positive?

Consider your outlook and choose a bright one. Consider opportunities to be curious and explore. And consider being with people who will buoy your spirits. 

When all of us tap into positive energy this way we bring our best selves to everything we do. We have the biggest impact because we live more of our greatness. 

Your life will be enriched, and the world will benefit.

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.

How to stay strong now

We are living day by day in the midst of troubling world events.

We have been especially challenged for the last two years, and life always includes challenges. Now, the invasion in Ukraine fills us with deep pain and concern.

We need strength

Truthfully, we always need strength. We need strength to cope with challenges related to health matters, strained relationships, loss and grief, financial pressures, uncertainty, and a host of small daily issues that can knock us off course.

And in this moment, we especially need to find strength — for ourselves, for each other, and to send into the world to support people everywhere who are at risk.

How to find strength

When we are stressed, connecting to our strength may feel difficult. This process may help you:

1. Connect to your emotions.

When you slow down and identify what you are feeling, you have awareness of your current state. Rather than pushing these emotions down, allow yourself to name them and feel them.

(You may want to check out the article I wrote last week, where I shared great ways to give difficult emotions an outlet.)

2. Create calm.

Getting still and quiet allows you to breathe with intension and calm your system.

You may want to place your hands on your heart and imagine your heart breathing in love on each inhale. With each exhale, allow yourself to release tension, as you consciously relax your body.

(You can do this for as little as a single minute, you can quietly breath calmly for longer stretches, and you can pause and create calm multiple times in your day.)

3. Try using the Discovery Dozen™ exercise.

If you have my book, you are familiar with this great tool, that can be used in many ways.

The Discovery Dozen structure is simple. It begins with creating a fill-in-the-blank sentence. You then complete the sentence 12 times, each time with a different ending. The key is to write quickly and not edit yourself.

Try this one.

First jot down a challenging emotion you identified (or pick one, if several came up for you). Now you are ready to construct your Discovery Dozen sentence. Write it at the top of the page:

To find my strength in spite of feeling [your emotion], I ____________ .

Quickly complete that sentence 12 times. (You can number 1 through 12 down the side of the page to make it easy to write quickly without pausing to count.)

For example, your completed sentences might say:

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I can remind myself of times I bravely stood up for myself.

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I can remember I am not in danger right now.

• To find my strength in spite of feeling fearful, I will find organizations to support, to help others.

You can make more Discovery Dozen sentences, to explore other dimensions of strength. Consider these possibilities:

I feel strong when _____________ .

When I feel strong I can/ I know/ _____________ .

To help others feel strong I can _____________ .

And feel free to make your own Discovery Dozen sentences, to both explore questions and generate ideas.

Couple strength with love

Strength takes many forms — some obvious, some bold, some subtle.

Your Discovery Dozen sentences may have illuminated many kinds of strength, that can be leveraged in many ways.

And when strength is matched with love, the impact can be astounding.

If we all support ourselves and each other with love and strength we can have more impact that you might imagine.

We can believe in the power of each person to hold, share, and send love.

We can commit to taking action — in many forms — rather than sitting by in distress. (One great idea is to make purchases of digital products from Ukrainian artists on Etsy, or tell them not to fulfill tangle product orders and keep the funds. Etsy is not charging Ukrainian artists service fees.)

We can hold the highest energetic vibration of love and send it to those in need of support anywhere on the globe, and those working to broker peace.

We can pray together, believing in the forces of love, light, and courage, and that this collective energetic force can impact the course of the conflict.

In these ways we can contribute to better outcomes, as we also support our own wellbeing.

When we stay strong and keep loving. we can help to create a better world.

A simple question can change your life

Questions open our thinking. Of course there are many kinds of questions, and asking them can lead to many kinds of outcomes.

Let’s consider a very simple question, and how powerful the impact can be when we use it.

What if...?

“What if?” never fails to be a good question.

It opens your thinking to considering all sorts of possibilities, and it’s wonderful because it does that without making you feel pressured.

Something I especially love is that “What if?” questions also open the door to broad and creative thinking.

Let’s test a great “What if?” question

You can use the “What if?” question in countless ways, and the answers can be revelatory and wide-ranging.

I especially love this particular “What if?” question, and the many ways it can be extended:

What if you trusted?

Ponder that a moment. This is a big question that is worth turning over in your mind.

Next, move on to considering these variations. See what shows up for you.

What if you trusted yourself?

Can you imagine not second-guessing yourself? Can you envision living with trust in yourself and rather than with doubt? What if you could live without fear of making mistakes, or failing?

What if you trusted your heart?

What would your life be like if you connected to the desires in your heart — what you want — and felt deserving of those desires, and honored them? What if you also honored the passions in your heart?

What if you trusted your intuition?

Of course, that begins with hearing intuitive messages. Many of us hear these whispers (and shouts) and push them aside or override them. What would change if you trusted those nuggets of wisdom?

What if you trusted that you can move forward every day, and adjust and course-correct as needed?

This takes us back to the question of trusting yourself, but gets more specific. Can you imagine being focused and intentional, and also flexible and creative when things do not go as you expected, or new obstacles show up?

What if you trusted that you can get the help you need?

Many of us think we need to do everything ourselves. Many of us think that we are the only ones who can do things well enough, or to meet our own high standards. Many of us feel that soldiering on in spite of struggle is noble, or that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Can you imagine trusting yourself to find help, to let go of control, and to allow others to support you?

What if you trusted and believed that you have everything you need inside of you?

Can you believe and trust that you hold the answers you seek, and the ability to learn and grow and expand? Can you believe and trust that you are enough — in fact, that you are already perfect?

You may need some help to trust these ideas, and to believe you have that strength.

Can you imagine how having that trust and belief could be significant for you?

What if you trusted the universe?

I know that for many people this is a harder question, and it may feel a bit far out. I believe that we are all supported by forces much bigger than ourselves. You may call it god, divine spirit, the universe, or any of a number of other terms. Or you may think that the concept is nonsense.

I invite you to consider that we hold energy and there are energetic forces that respond to the positive or negative beliefs we hold energetically. In my experience, we get more back of whatever energy we hold and project.

When we trust that there is a universal energy force supporting us as we trust; supporting us when we believe that we are able to powerfully create in our lives; and supporting us when we believe that we can all bring our gifts and our best selves to approach each moment in our lives with agency, we can experience even greater outcomes and have bigger impacts.

Let’s all choose to trust

The collective power of all of us trusting, of all of us bringing our creative energy into our lives, and all of the good we can bring into the world from this solid foundation, is tremendous.

We can help to make this a better world in remarkable ways.

The first circle of impact we can have is with the people closest to us — our family members, friends, and our coworkers, colleagues and clients.

We also impact our communities — our neighbors and people in organizations we are part of. The impact can expand to our towns and cities and wider circles from there.

We may or may not see tangible evidence of this impact. The ripple effects touch people who touch others, and this is how we are the catalyst for meaningful change.

And that change extends to the broader world.

Goodness knows we need to bring as much positive energy as possible now to being a collective force for good, and for bold action in support of peace and justice and safety for all.

Please join me in the intention to unlock all of our creative power, to trust and tap our inner wisdom, and to bring strength to living our biggest, best lives. Those efforts will have a positive impact on those around us, and the impact will expand exponentially.

I deeply trust the potential of our collective efforts. Thank you for joining me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Love doesn’t have to be complicated

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Maybe you (like me) are feeling tired of the way the focus on love feels commercialized, manipulative and superficial in our culture.

Perhaps you are cynical about love, or feel it is missing or lacking in your life, or you doubt its importance.

Perhaps you crave more love, in any of the ways it can touch your heart.

What if you simply let yourself feel love?

We spend so much time living in our heads.

It’s when we choose not to think so much and drop into our hearts and our bodies, that we have the opportunity to get to the pure essence of love, and experience it in ways that fill us with delight.

Try this simple practice and see what happens:

Spend 3 minutes of quiet and connect to your heart.

You might set a timer, or just choose to sit in stillness for a little while.

Cross your hands over your heart. As you breathe, feel into the energy of your heart.

Pay attention to the sensations you feel.

Ask what your heart desires.

Listen closely.

Even if you hear only whispers, the information and insights are important to honor. And if you feel an absence of insight, try sitting a bit longer. Or try again later or tomorrow.

Next — no matter what you found — actively appreciate yourself. Send love to you, for being with yourself this way, and for being the amazing person you are.

Savor the sweetness of this experience.

This process is a way you can experience and cultivate self-love. Even if it feels subtle, it can be more powerful than you may imagine.

And the more you make this practice a part of your life, the bigger the benefits will be.

Consider expanding your self-love practice.

Gaze at yourself in the mirror each morning and smile warmly at you!

Focus on treating yourself to experiences that delight you. You deserve them.

Maybe a brisk walk each morning makes you feel alive and excited for your day. Make that a priority!

Maybe preparing clean healthy foods makes you feel great. Plan your day so there is ample time for that preparation, as well as savoring the food you cook.

Maybe adding a new color to your environment will lift your spirits each day. How can you bring in a splash of that color, perhaps with a throw pillow, or by painting an accent wall in a space you use a lot? Maybe you will choose to wear that color more.

Maybe visiting galleries or museums lights you up, or music stirs your heart. Make inspiration dates to bring joy like that into your life.

You will effortlessly begin to spread more love.

When we are filled with love for ourselves we can spread love to others with ease and joy. We naturally feel more affection and connection to everyone around us.

The expression of this loving energy can show up as smiling more at people (even strangers), expressing appreciation, and engaging in small acts of kindness.

And, at times when you might have typically felt annoyed or frustrated or angry with someone (friends or strangers), you may instead find yourself able to send them loving thoughts, or wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt.

When you spread loving energy — even wordlessly — you support your own wellbeing, and often shift the energy in the person or people around you in ways you cannot perceive.

The power of love can change your life.

Last week I was honored to lead a remarkable group of women for three days of deep work, infused by love, at my winter Live Big Live! retreat.

We began the journey 45 days before the retreat. We came together and dove deep into shaping visions for the future that were rooted in knowing that comes from a deep connection to the heart.

Love was the foundation for everything we did. Love infused each experience included in the program, that culminated in so many big outcomes.

Each woman connected to ways to cultivate self-love that had deep meaning for her. They each unabashedly honored themselves and their gifts, and claimed the desires in their hearts. They were able to step into honoring those desires, and begin to take concrete steps to make them their reality.

Shifts like this cannot happen in an instant. Practice is needed, and over the weeks and at the retreat, we practiced together.

With a foundation of self-love, each of the women naturally supported the others with tremendous love. The energetic connections were palpable and powerful.

Even without deep immersion and guidance, you can bring the power of love into your life in bigger ways than ever.

I invite you to start with the practice described above, and expand it as you feel inspired.

You will reap beautiful rewards.

If you wish to share your experience, or have questions, I would be happy to hear from you.

Email me to let me know how this resonates for you.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

These 3 questions may wake up your heart

Last week I had the privilege of spending four inspiring days doing deep personal work. I shared the experience with an amazing group of people, led by my remarkable coach, Michelle Villalobos.

Michelle is a business coach. I initially wanted her help to build my coaching practice, and she has certainly helped me do that. But the reason I continue to work with her is that she is on a path of doing her own deep work. She is focused on being — on who she is and how she shows up in her life — and she is a fearless explorer of this territory. She brings what she is learning into the lives of her clients.

If you have read my book, you know how aligned Michelle and I are about the importance of focusing on who we are becoming and how we show up in the world. We both believe that this is the key to being a leader in your life, which then makes it easier to build a great business — or do anything else you set out to do.

To impact the world with your gifts you need to start with the inside work.

What I dove into last week

The theme of our retreat was big: creating the new. As you can imagine, this was immensely meaningful for me. We explored how we create, what each person’s ideas are for the new they want to create, and what it will take, personally, for each of us to audaciously create in ways that will have a tremendous impact.

This was intense work, but there was also play!

I loved experiencing an afternoon of freedom, fun and laughter as I allowed myself to create with crazy materials, fueled by great music. I let go of concern about making something “good” and drew from my intuition without overthinking. It was liberating and I loved my imperfect finished piece.

And I loved watching people, some of whom had not made art since they were kids, and many who declared they did not consider themselves creative, allowing themselves to relax, play freely, and make amazing works. I witnessed joy as they shared, many claiming that they loved what they made and loved their new beliefs about themselves.

Why community is important

Magic happens when people gather this way. We learn from one another and inspire one another. The time away from “real life” gives us so much to bring back and apply to the work we do. And it supports us to each live with more awareness and intention.

3 questions you can ask yourself now

As I integrate the powerful experience I lived, I am happy to share several questions I was asked to answer. Perhaps they will be helpful and enlightening for you.

1. What can you let go of now to open the way to living your biggest, most promising life?

You might chose to let go of doubt, or perfectionism, or fear, or an old story that does not serve you — or any other limitation you want to release.

2. What power, within you, do you want to claim?

You might want to claim courage, or conviction, or passion for a cause, to name a few possibilities.

3. What new quality or project or mission do you yearn to bring into being, that will make an impact on your own life, and by extension can impact the world around you?

This question may sound daunting to ponder, but I invite you to consider that every meaningful creation you aim for — be it small or grand — can be life-changing for you, and can have ripple effects that reach beyond what you can even imagine.

Do you feel called to step into something bigger?

My work, my mission, is to unleash the untapped creative capacity inside women (and men) everywhere, so they bring all of their greatness into the world.

I am committed to using the power of love as the driving force of my work, because I know love can inspire people to embrace their full capacity to create, express and expand.

This vision inspires me every day.

And as grand as that mission sounds (and I hold a huge vision for what it will look like in the future), the growth is rooted in many small first steps.

Over and over again, what appear to be small events fuel the expansion of my mission. It’s all about having one conversation at a time.

In each connection with a woman who hears a voice inside (that may be whispering or may be shouting) that she is ready to let go of what is in her way; that she wants to find, claim and leverage her power; and that she wants to usher in something new and important to create a brighter future, a connection is made. And there is a possibility that we may be aligned.

When there is alignment, when we both believe that my support can help a woman to stop living small and step into creating her biggest life, there is true magic. Nothing is more gratifying for me than to usher in greatness and set ripple effects into motion.

And when a group of great women embark on the work with me, the power of the community accelerates the growth of each individual!

Taking a small first step can be your portal to a big future

If you feel called to take a big step up in your life, let’s make a date to talk soon. Simply email me and we’ll make that happen.

There may be alignment, or not, but one things is certain: It will be a meaningful conversation that will have an impact in your life.

And that aligns perfectly for me.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Do you dare to dream bigger?

We are well into the first month of 2022. I hear people everywhere talking about the goals they’ve set, or that they are considering for the year, and that’s great.

And, I suggest that there’s a bigger question that’s important to ask now. (It’s one I have been focusing on myself.)

How you are showing up in your life?

How we each show up is the single factor that will most impact the outcomes we’ll look back on at the end of the year.

At a wonderful retreat I attended at the start of the year, I spent three days in deep, quiet reflection about the year past, and setting clear intentions for the year ahead.

This was remarkably special because I would not have carved out the time to do this on my own — nor would I have thought to structure the process as beautifully as my dear friend and mentor Peleg Top designed the experience.

Here are the two questions that kept coming to mind for me, as I moved through those days:

How I have been showing up in my life?

How do I want to show up this year?

These are big and important questions, and I invite you to consider them for yourself.

I also asked myself:

If I choose to show up with more courage, determined to reach new heights, how big do I dare to dream?

And, I added:

What will it take for me to dream big?

This brought me to considering two more questions:

How much can I trust — myself and the universe?

How much support is available, and from whom — to keep my mindset strong, to tend to my health, to take care of the many small tasks that keep me busy but rob me of time to do what only I can do, and more?

I invite you to do some big dreaming and big thinking

Having considered some of the questions I posed above, continue to reflect and explore.

You may want to take a fresh look at the goals you’ve set or the resolutions you have made.

Have you aimed low, or put a cap on how much you dared to go for?

What would it look like to end the year thrilled with something you made real by dreaming even a little bigger than you dared to up to now?

Next, think about who you want and need to BE to step up and live your biggest life.

Will you aim to be bolder? More confident? Clearer about what is right for you to enable you to stay aligned with your values?

With this clarity you can focus on becoming the person who can live her dreams.

Each of our big dreams will be different

For some, it will look like setting good boundaries and honoring themselves by making time for quiet, pursuing a long-dormant passion, or repairing a relationship.

For some it will mean striking out in a bold new direction, or making a change they long for in their career.

For some it will look like vitality of body and mind.

The possibilities are vast.

My dream is to show up as I never have before

I intend to speak on bigger stages to spread the messages I am passionate about, and work with more great women to help them step into their power, so people everywhere create their biggest lives.

My dream is to show up in my studio and paint boldly, so I feel free and fully expressed.

My dream includes completing a project that is in its earliest stages now, that will provide a tangible way for people to learn to live big and create as never before. I do not know the final form for this yet, but I know it is becoming what it’s meant to be, and I am excited about developing it.

And my dream includes a world that is healed by legions of people living their biggest dreams, each in their own important way. By playing even a small part to make that happen, I will be thrilled.

Are you ready to dream bigger?

If something inside of you knows this is the time to step into more of your power, to make your important dreams a reality, let’s get on a call.

Email me and we’ll make a date to talk about your big dreams, what is limiting you now, and what is possible.

These calls are one way I support great women to live big — whether they choose to join one of my programs or not. (There's no obligation or cost for us to have a call, but I limit the number of calls I schedule each week.)

My dream is for you to truly Live Big! I look forward our conversation.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

What I learned may help you focus, too

It amazes me that we are already 11 days into January and the new year.

For many of us, time seems to be speeding along, as we move through days filled with tasks and obligations, adventures and challenges.

What if you could slow down time, to feel more focused and less frantic?

I just had that experience. I am eager to share what it was like, as well as how I intend to continue pacing my days.

Following time away for the holidays with my family, I decided to extend the trip when an invitation arrived to attend a small retreat focused on starting this new year with clarity and intention. It was offered by my long-time coach and mentor, Peleg Top, and it was an easy, “Yes!”

What a gift it was to be led through a deep, thoughtful process of reflection and intention-setting in the awesome setting of the high desert of New Mexico.

Here are three gifts I am bringing back and happy to share with you.

1. Choose to slow down.

If you read my post last week about optimizing 2022 you will recall I spoke about getting clarity about the year you want to create, setting specific intentions, and scheduling specific actions to make those intentions your reality.

Whether you have started the process yet or not, my invitation to you is to consider the pace at which you plan to incorporate your intentions — and the pace of the days you have scheduled for yourself.

I have already started to make the shift to days with more “white space” on my calendar. And I have blocked off every Friday this year to provide flexibility for myself (no client sessions, no meetings), as I did in the last half of 2021. The feeling of release I got when I blocked off my Fridays for the year was palpable!

Maybe you will carve out time for a morning practice each day. Maybe you will block time mid-day for a long walk. Any approach you choose will benefit you.

When you slow down, create space for rest and thoughtfulness, and live with true intention, you can create in each moment rather than react. This is a game-changer!

You may be thinking, “Wait, this is what you teach!” But it is in the actual practice of living this way (establishing habits that stick takes ongoing practice!) that I find delight in the benefits.

I predict that when you make it your practice, you, like me, will get more of what matters done. And you will feel more satisfied.

2. Dive deeper into your heart.

Now that you have more space in your schedule, choose a block of time, perhaps an hour, to sit in a cozy spot with a journal, your favorite pen in hand, and a cup of hot tea. Ask yourself some questions about your desires for this big shiny new year.

Choose from as many of these as you feel called to explore.

• This year I will be most energized by/when…

• This year I will say “yes” when…

• This year I will say “no”/set boundaries when…

• This year I will explore…

• This year I will express myself when I…

• This year will be special because…

Write lots of things for each that you choose to complete. Feel free to add to this list of prompts, too, as new thoughts for shaping your year come to mind.

And you may want to close out this special time by expressing your deepest desire for 2022.

3. Create your environment with intention.

My trip was a great reminder that the environment around us has a great impact on our daily experiences.

And you do not need to travel to faraway places to create an environment that makes you feel relaxed, special and inspired.

I started my work day this morning by lighting a candle and adding some essential oils to a defuser, to make sitting at my desk feel lovely.

Look for ways to add beauty, like bringing in a splash of color you love, or fresh flowers, or found objects you picked up on a recent walk. Think about all sorts of ways to wake up your senses, for instance choose music to soothe you or to add tempo to a particular task.

And if there’s some clutter you can clear for a few minutes each day until it is resolved, you will find that your energy will flow with more ease.

We can each make 2022 a special year.

No matter what is going on around us, we can each create clear intentions for ourselves, create the best environment to support our wellbeing, and cultivate our mindset to shape the year ahead.

And stay tuned for a series of emails about my upcoming Dream Big Vision-Board Workshop, on January 30, to help you create a clear vision — and live it — for a stellar 2022!

You can check out the workshop here. Registration is open now!

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.

Here’s how to make this a great year (really!)

Welcome 2022!

As we step into a shiny new year, most people I speak to are glad to bid farewell to 2021. Even for those who had a good year, the reality of living through a second year of COVID, not to mention political issues that swirled, affected us all.

And while a new year always feels full of possibility, we now find ourselves in the midst of a new round of pandemic challenge. With it comes uncertainty.

I believe that this first week of the year is an opportune time to take action that can make this the best year possible.

Take some quiet time now to reflect and set intentions. Doing that will help you to live your best life in the year ahead.

Three steps to optimize your 2022

1. Choose a word to guide your year.

Long-time readers will be familiar with my belief in the impact of choosing a word-of-the-year. Here’s the post where I describe the process, that includes a number of examples.

When you use this short, powerful process, you ask yourself important questions that help you focus on what really matters to you now, and the energy you want to bring into your life in 2022.

2. Think about what it will look like to live your word this year.

With your word selected, it’s time to set intentions that align with that word or theme.

If, for instance, Learning was your word, your intentions could include broadening your understanding of the world, stimulating your brain, and experiencing novelty.

If your word was Savor (as mine was a few years back), your intentions could be to slow down, to fully experience things each day, and cultivate appreciation.

Your word may call on you to be thoughtful, or courageous, or curious, or calm, or active — tune in to what fits for you.

When you set intentions, you focus on who you want to become. This awareness will also inspire you and support you to bring positive energy into everything you do.

3. Make it concrete.

Now it’s time to get specific about how you want to implement your intentions. Think about what will both satisfy you and will be doable.

If, for instance, you chose Self-Love to guide your year, one way you might live into that theme could be to up your self-care. This would be the time to decide on ways to actually do that.

You might choose to include walking 3 times per week, meditating for 5 minutes each morning, and visiting a museum each month. Whatever you choose, schedule the activities into your calendar. Start with the first 3 months of the year, and continue or modify the plan from there. (For instance, in the spring you might decide to increase your meditation time, or add an activity like tending a garden.)

If your theme of Self-Love also inspired you to bring more creativity into your life, you might implement that intention by first exploring classes that are available (art, or music, or photography, or cooking, etc.), then scheduling time each week to take the class and practice between classes.

The outcomes may amaze you

When we set intentions and commit to them, we are able to bring changes we truly desire into our lives.

After choosing your word, why not print it out and post it where you will see it each day? This will keep it top of mind as you move though the year.

You might invite a friend to embark on this process with you, too, so that you can support one another to stay committed throughout the year, even as the specific ways you live into your themes evolve.

The more you stay connected to your word and intentions, and plans to follow through on the specifics, the more the outcomes will excite you.

Imagine looking back next December and smiling at the year you lived and the ways you made your intentions a reality.

No matter what surprises come along (because surprises are inevitable), this approach will support you to make 2022 a meaningful — and maybe even magical — year.

May your new year be filled with joy, vibrant health and abundant creative energy.

A life-changing gift you can give yourself now

As we move through the final days of 2021 we have a great opportunity — to look back and reap the rewards of the past year (try the process I shared last week), and to look ahead to a new year full of possibility.

Harness the power of creativity in 2022 — it’s available to all of us!

I invite you to embrace yourself as a powerful creator as you head into the new year. It’s easy to do when you focus on activating creative expression.

You can create expressively in a multitude of ways

Any way you choose to create will enrich your day-to-day life. Think about what delights you.

Maybe you love to dance up a storm, or draw or write. You may feel free and enjoy experimenting as you cook, playing with new flavor combinations or ingredients. Maybe you love to research and plan your garden, and get your hands into the dirt as you plant and tend it. Do you play an instrument or want to try learning a new one? Maybe you collect things that fascinate you, or find joy when you sing, or keep a camera on hand to take photos throughout your day. Maybe you love to tinker and build things, or learn new craft techniques.

Allowing yourself to play and explore in any of these ways lights you up and fuels enthusiasm for everything in your life.

When you are lit up, new ideas show up. You feel excited about exploring them. This positive energy not only carries you forward, it supports you at those times when you need to be resilient.

Your creative journey can be a great teacher

While I rarely share my personal creative journey, my studio time has been a great teacher for me, especially this past year.

I began painting in 2015 after a lifetime of feeling challenged to create for myself. As a graphic designer (my first career), I could create to solve my clients’ problems, but personal expression (like painting or sculpting) felt impossible.

Knowing what I know today, I look back and see that in those years I indulged in creative expression, though not in ways I thought “counted.” I loved (and still love) to create beauty in my home, sharing beauty with others, using color in interesting ways, and more.

But I did not dare to make art until 2015, when I took my first painting class. It was intimidating, but I had the opportunity and decided to go for it.

And it changed my life — really! I have continued to paint, studying with an amazing teacher, ever since.

As frustrating as it was to be a beginner, needing to master technique and decide what I wanted to paint, this journey has enriched me in enormous ways.

Each time I stand in front of my easel, I meet myself in a way that is different from the rest of my life. I tap into my intuition and I connect to my desire — what color calls to me? What kind of gesture or mark do I want to make?

Finding my way in the studio has been a great journey. I have had times when the work flowed and I was having fun. And I have had times — especially early in COVID, and after my mother died in August 2020 — when I felt completely lost and unsure about what I was doing.

With the encouragement of my teacher, I simply let myself not know, make a mess, and see where I found myself. Allowing myself to explore this way, without caring about making a “good painting” has led me to new places that have surprised me — and sometimes delighted me.

I have learned to trust myself and experiment. I have slowly been able to let go of the perfectionism that’s been a struggle for so much of my life. My heart has expanded in ways it never had before.

(If you are curious about my art, you can take a look at my work, from 2015 up to the present, here.)

What will you discover when you create?

The new year beckons. Think about the gifts you can give yourself in 2022 when you allow yourself to step into creating in new and bigger ways.

If getting creative is new for you, start by playing and see where it takes you. Ask someone to join you and make regular dates to create. And celebrate the outcomes of everything you explore!

And consider this:

Whether you choose to activate creativity or not, the new year will be full of change.

Why not light yourself up, feel inspired, and bring that positive energy into your life?

Wishing you a new year filled with joy, vibrant health and abundant creative energy.

How (and what) to celebrate now

Do you feel hectic energy swirling around you this holiday season? While it’s easy to get caught up in all of the activity and emotion, this is an ideal time to carve out some quiet space for yourself.

I invite you to do some resting and reflecting. And while you are at it, this is a great time to celebrate and dream.

Start with gratitude

Look back at the past year with a focus on gratitude. In spite of many challenges, there is always so much for which we can each feel grateful. Include both big and small things on your list, and jot down why you feel grateful for each one.

By the time you finish you are likely to feel filled with awe. (Studies have shown that focusing on gratitude brings enormous physical and emotional benefits. You may want to make this the start of an ongoing gratitude practice.)

Next, celebrate yourself!

Think back over the year with a focus on all the ways you have expanded and grown. Recall things you’ve accomplished and ways you have been resilient, Acknowledge yourself for all of it.

Savor the feelings of pride, joy, and satisfaction. Why not give yourself at least one “Yay me!” each and every day? (I highly recommend it!)

Visualize a wonderful future

With gratitude in your heart and feeling full of self-love after celebrating yourself, take some time to quietly look ahead at the new year. It is full of possibility.

Envision yourself a year from now, living a life that you love.

What does that look like for you? What does it feel like to imagine yourself living a life that excites you? Envision yourself living with purpose, doing work you love alongside great people, feeling joy, caring for your wellbeing, being in wonderful relationships, and living fully expressed.

How will spend your days? Who will you live and work and play with? How will you look? How will you feel?

Hold this vision, and think about it already being your reality.

The life you yearn for can be created

Day by day, you can create clarity about what you want. You can move past what limits you. You can create a future that lights you up.

I know because I have been on this path myself and my life has been transformed.

And I have been honored to guide many incredible women to step into their power and thrive as never before.

Rather than struggling and trying to figure it out on their own, they have begun creating the full, satisfying personal and professional lives they’d been yearning for. They are clear about what they want and who they need to become to create their ideal futures, and step-by-step their visions are becoming their reality.

This is a sacred process. Transformation does not happen instantly. It's in getting started, living with new awareness, and having support to sustain the effort in the course of daily ups and downs, that we can begin to wake up in our lives. We can get and stay clear about the future we want. Every small change we bring into our lives has significance and momentum grows. We revel in appreciation of the lives we are actively creating.

If you feel ready to make big strides in the year ahead, let’s talk.

Email me and share where you are now and your vision for the future, and we’ll talk about how you can get there.

As 2021 winds down, now is the perfect time to explore what is possible for you in 2022.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who doesn't want more good luck?

Do you believe in luck?

Do you have a lucky number (I do), or a lucky piece of clothing you put on when you yearn for a particular outcome? (I am thinking of the sweater my husband wore to every basketball game his college team played, after they beat a major opponent. He was sure it brought them luck.)

Do you envy people who seem to be lucky — they get a big break, or seem to effortlessly land a great job, or appear to lead a charmed life — and wonder if you can do something to increase your luck?

We all love feeling lucky

Luck makes things seem magical and easy. And it’s human nature to want good things to happen with ease.

In my case, a remarkable number of wonderful things in my life have happened on the 13th of a month — it's the date I met my husband, the date I graduated from high school and my son graduated from college, and the date my grandson was born. These are just three of a long list of special events that fell on the 13th of a month.

That feels magical to me. It makes me look forward to the 13th of each month, and to seeing the number 13 show up in my life in all sorts of great ways.

And, while I enjoy those mysterious and delightful coincidences, I believe feeling lucky is most often a byproduct of what we do and how we approach our lives and the world.

Many of the people we see as having great luck have set the stage for wonderful outcomes, that appear to simply be a matter of good fortune.

You can actually increase your luck. Here’s how.

Some of us are certainly born into more privilege than others, and I believe that such good fortune is not to be minimized. And, I also believe that all of us have opportunities to create more luck in our lives.

Consider these 10 ways to cultivate good luck:

1. Your mindset can set the stage for good fortune

A positive mindset looks like this:

• You believe in yourself and your agency in the world.

• You are in a frame of mind to say “yes” when great opportunities present themselves.

• You minimize worry. Being more positive helps you steer clear of having your attention consumed by negativity, and thus you are less likely to miss good opportunities.

• You keep an open frame of mind, which allows you to try new things and have new experiences.

• You have positive expectations. (What you look for is what you find!)

• You don’t compare yourself to others.

• (Check out more about how to be a positive thinker.)

2. Get clear

Focus on clarity — about what you want in your work and your personal life, your vision for the future, the impact you want to have, and more. Clarity allows you to stay sharply focused, and also helps you to be alert to opportunities.

3. Be observant

When you start with having an open frame of mind and are clear about what you want, add being alert and observant of everything around you. You are bound to spot more opportunities.

4. Take action

Being in action can look like this:

• Put yourself in great places, and tune in to what’s going on around you.

• Experiment with lots of approaches, try new things, and be open to what you discover. (If you tend to overanalyze, and can suppress the impulse to do so, it will be easier for you to experiment and reap the benefits.)

• Meet lots of people.

• Explore beyond your usual routines or areas of interest — you might even get curious about something you are sure you will not like. Try reading and learning about new things, as well as experiencing new things.

• Tell others what you want (after you have clarity), and people will be likely to share introductions and opportunities for you.

• Say “yes” to opportunities as they show up, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

5. Ask!

• Ask for what you want.

• Ask for support and help.

• Don’t be shy! For example, propose a topic to speak about in front of a great audience, rather than waiting for someone to approach you.

6. Stay grateful

Pay attention to all the good things that happen — even very small things — and express gratitude for them. Not only will you realize your are luckier than you may have thought, gratitude is a powerful force that can lead to more goodness in your life.

• Start a daily gratitude practice.

• Express gratitude to others.

• Check out this post on gratitude to learn more about this subject, or read the chapter on gratitude in my book for many ways to cultivate gratitude.

7. Be generous

Generosity is powerful. (You might check out this article I wrote on the subject, and how it helps you live big.)

• Look for ways to treat others as you want to be treated.

• Help other people — when they ask, or when you realize you can provide a good introduction or suggest a helpful resource.

• Be a good friend.

• Volunteer in ways that have meaning for you.

8. Surprise yourself

Intentionally surprise yourself!

• Create in new ways!

• Change up your routines.

• Get lost on purpose and see what you discover.

• Talk to new people.

All of these will light you up and connect you to your intuition, prompting new ways of thinking and positive energy. That energy can be channeled into many of the suggestions noted above.

9. Smile and be sociable

• Put a genuine smile on your face and people will be attracted to you.

• Put yourself into social settings. This will provide you with more interactions.

• Focus on maintaining good relationships.

• Cultivate a relaxed, positive attitude.

10. Pick one new practice to start using today

Bringing even one new approach on this list into your life will enhance your luck. Start with what calls out to you, and add more ideas and approaches as you wish.

Let’s usher in a luckier 2022

As we look ahead to the new year, your new awareness and the actions you choose to take will set the stage for more good luck and greater satisfaction in 2022.

Imagine if we all bring that energy into our lives! The power of all of that collective action can be remarkable.

And, if you are interested in having support to make significant changes more quickly and with greater ease, my Live Big Live! program may be perfect for you now. The Winter program is about to get underway, and there is still time to join us. (Only a few spots are still available.)

I invite you to set up a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon, to see if we both think this is a good fit. There’s no cost or obligation for us to talk. Here's the link to schedule time with me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What’s weighing you down?

For many of us, looking ahead at the last few weeks of 2021, brings up mixed emotions.

Some of us are already looking back and taking stock of the year. This can feel uplifting, or disappointing, or both.

Some are focused on making the most of the weeks ahead, aiming for a “strong finish” to the calendar year (in business and/or personally). This excites some people and feels intense to others.

Some are excited about celebrating in the upcoming holiday season, while others feel trepidation at the thought of being with particular people, or about travel in uncertain times, or what it will take to prepare for all of that.

I don’t know anyone who feels completely upbeat or completely down. Taking note is a first step to help you enjoy more positive energy.

What’s up for you?

The place to begin is to identify what feels heavy. If you take a few minutes to jot down what those things are, the clarity you’ll gain can help you lighten the emotional load.

Your list may include pressures at work, family discord, overwhelm at too much to do, tough decisions that are looming, tension about things out in the world, health concerns, financial matters, or anything else. It may be a long list, or your list may have one dominant feature.

Consider these possibilities

Seeing it in black and white, can you gain perspective about things that may not be all that problematic?

When we feel stressed, everything seems to expand in importance, but some things on your list are likely to be tasks you can quickly dispatch — or even delegate or drop. And some things can likely be deferred, to attend to after this busy season.

It’s likely that some things that feel overwhelming can be approached in a sequence of small efforts. This will make them feel less daunting, and the big project will be easier and more enjoyable to move through to completion.

Speaking of completion, ask yourself if your timelines and deadlines are realistic, or really required.

And some things on your list may feel heavy because of old scripts and stories you carry, such as feeling like you have to be perfect. Or you have to complete things to meet others’ high expectations. Or you “have to” [fill in the blank] — to make others happy at your own expense.

Maybe you have a “role” in your family that you feel obligated to play, but that frustrates you or feels unjust.

Maybe you feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but you can see that there are things on the list that others can help with.

Taking a look at what you can reasonably adjust — with practical changes and in your mental approach — is a great first step to easing the strain you felt as you wrote down the items on your list.

Let’s lighten up

I confess that the pressure I’ve put on myself to be “perfect” and meet the expectations of others have been long-held beliefs that are still works-in-progress for me to release. And being able to ask for help is a practice I have been focused on for a while now, but I continue to need to remind myself that it’s a great thing to do.

The feeling that I must work hard all the time has been a life-long belief that I am currently focused on shifting, and I’m happy to be making progress with it.

We all have deeply entrenched habits and beliefs that do not serve us. And we can all bring awareness to the changes we want to make.

The key is awareness — and from there, consciously making choices that serve us.

Try some or all of these approaches:

What if you trusted that there is an abundance of time to take care of things that really must be done?

Simply approaching the day with that frame of mind makes a huge difference in the energy you feel, and thus the energy you bring to your tasks. This has been a game-changer for me and many of my clients.

What if you let go of the need to do it all and do it all perfectly?

We tell ourselves stories about things we “must do” that often do not need to be done (or not done by us). A quick example is that holiday cookies to not all need to be home-baked — unless that brings you joy and your well-being is not compromised by the time it will take. But the same goes for items of all types on our to-do lists. What can you choose not to do?

And when we aim for perfection for the things we keep on the list, we struggle and sabotage ourselves in so many ways. If, instead we aim for “good” we can feel happier doing the task, and can also allow for happy surprises that may show up when we welcome imperfection. And if we fall short or “fail”? We can laugh, learn from the experience, and move on.

What if you let go of the heaviness?

Our perceptions can make small things feel intense and larger tasks feel even more daunting — or, our perceptions can make things feel doable with ease.

When you change your approach from feeling burdened to feeling that things can move smoothly and be easy or pleasurable, you change your experience. (You may want to check out what I recently shared about how to be a positive thinker.)

And to more easily achieve and sustain a sense of lightness, remember to acknowledge yourself for taking a positive approach. Also acknowledge yourself for all that you accomplish along the way. (Check out the power of giving yourself a “Yay Me” here — something my clients practice and love doing. )

Making gratitude a daily focus also supports us to live positively, which in turn increases joy. (Check out three ways to experience more joy.)

We all have the agency to make changes

The biggest pitfall is feeling helpless about things that add stress to our lives.

By bringing awareness to what is troubling you and taking steps to lower the intensity of stressful emotions and pressures, we can all open to approaching whatever lies ahead with more joy and ease.

Why not try one or more of the ideas suggested above this week and see what works for you? I’d be happy to hear about what you experience. Leave a comment, or email me to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Most of us miss some of the gifts of gratitude

I hope you enjoyed a special day of thanks last week (even if you are not in the US, where we celebrated Thanksgiving Day).

Many of us gathered with friends and family and were especially thankful to be able to be physically together, rather than on zoom. We enjoyed lovely food and expressed thanks for pleasures we often take for granted in the midst of our busy days.

The opportunity we have now, with a new week underway, is to hold onto our focus on gratitude — and expand it.

Gratitude go-to’s

It is obvious to bring our attention to feeing grateful for all that is good — from people we love, to food, shelter and kindness.

Focusing that way on a regular basis — creating a gratitude practice that keeps you tapped in to all that is wonderful in your life — brings tremendous benefits.

(I wrote about the big benefits of gratitude a few years back, that you may want to check out. There is also a chapter on gratitude that begins on page 50 of my book.)

Many of us have a daily gratitude practice, and tune in to smaller moments to appreciate, too. This level of awareness — of a smile from a stranger, the offer of help to carry a heavy package, spotting something surprisingly beautiful in nature, or receiving a thoughtful inquiry about how things are going — makes the benefits of gratitude on our wellbeing even greater.

Now, let’s take the concept of gratitude even deeper.

Often overlooked opportunities for gratitude

What few of us consider is that we can be grateful for things that do not typically spring to mind when we think about counting our blessings.

In this season of “blessing the harvest,” we can expand our perspective to consider all that we are harvesting now.

As the year winds down and we take stock, we can certainly bless our accomplishments, good fortune and bounty. We can also bless our challenges, disappointments, failures and losses.

Why?

Because when we can bless it all, we see how everything we have experienced this year brought us to who we are today. We can appreciate the insights we gained and lessons we learned.

We realize that ultimately, all of it enriched us.

This is the perfect time to bless it all

When we feel grateful for all of what we have experienced, we boost the well-documented benefits of gratitude (that are listed in my book). We let go of regret and stop rehashing the past.

The positive energy we feel can be channelled toward new ways of creating.

This not only helps us now, it supports us to move into 2022 with more optimism and enthusiasm. We feel motivated to start creating, planting new seeds, and taking action boosted by that powerful energy.

A question to ask now

As we head into the last 31 days of 2021 and look beyond to the coming year, ask yourself this question:

How can I bring all of my creative energy to my life — to the work I do, to my relationships, and to living my purpose?

We can all make the last weeks of this year incredibly meaningful and look ahead in anticipation to all that we will embark on in the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you take play seriously?

When was the last time you felt completely free? When was the last time you set out to play and have fun (not on a vacation, but in your usual day-to-day life)?

This may sound like a light-hearted, or even frivolous question, but I am serious when I ask.

Why?

Because being in a state of mind that feels free and excited, and bringing play into your life, matters.

And frankly, it is not always easy for me.

I included chapters on feeling free and play in my book, because I came to understand how important they both are to living your biggest life.

And still, I often struggle to embrace that state of being.

As I kid, I loved playing — hopscotch, hide and seek, dressing up dolls and making up grand scenarios, playing board games and more. My family was not especially sports-oriented, and I never joined a team at school — which is a great way that so many people play as kids and continue to bring fun into their adult lives.

As I got older, there was less time for play, and playing was not encouraged. I got more serious. I tended to buckle down rather than lighten up.

Don’t minimize the benefits of play

What I came to learn, after taking my deep dive into understanding the many dimensions of creativity, is that cultivating the feeling of being free makes your spirit soar. When you feel free like this, you feel inspired. Your imagination takes off and creative energy flows.

And with your spirit awakened, it’s easy to add play into your life.

By playing — which brings on laughter — you accelerate the benefits of feeling free. Creative thinking, new ideas, and fresh solutions show up. That energy leads to more flow.

And just as children learn through play, so do adults. When we play we are able to experiment and explore with more ease. We reduce stress, which is something all of us can benefit from! And our fears quiet down.

In short, we experience more joy.

How can play enrich your life now?

When I find myself heads-down and serious, I remind myself of all the ways I feel better when I lighten up and play — and I consciously choose to bring play into my day.

I know that opening my spirit and playing will impact my work and my relationships. It will infuse everything I do with more positive energy, and that energy will connect me to possibilities, optimism, people and opportunities.

So today, in spite of a long list of things to do, I am scheduling in play with friends. We will visit a sculpture park and revel in the beauty of nature and the creativity all around.

I may even suggest a quick game of tag, or hide and seek, to add more playful energy to the outing.

I invite you to make a playdate — with yourself or a friend. Let’s compare notes on what we experience!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.